The Shell of Heroism
by Setrus
Summary: What makes a hero? His renown? His actions? His sacrifices? His character? His motivations? And who judges this? His enemies? His allies? The people? Or his friends? The mass effect main story as it should be. M for violence and potentially other stuff.
1. Chapter 1

Eden Prime was a paradise.

A place so beautiful it seemed to hark back to the time earth was untouched by the industry of man.

It was a jewel within the rapidly expanding human territory.

A new garden of Eden.

Now...a hell.

Ashley _ran_, there was nothing to do but _to_ run...yet the shame stung her as much as the bullets thumping into her armour, reminding her all too clearly that her shields were down.

_How_...?

Her squad slaughtered, the scientists gone, the entire _planet_ shaking with that massive shadow moving beyond the clouds, dwarfing them.

_What_...?

Geth, of all things..._Geth_...Ashley had only recognised them due to having been bored and read the more useless parts of the marine codex a few days ago.

_Bored_..._I_ _want_ _to_ _be_ _bored_ _again_...

Her breath came out, short and hard, struggling to keep up with the fast pace her now screaming legs had set. Yet she _couldn't_ slow down...swinging her arms wide she managed to maintain her balance on the muddy slope she had reached and equally ran and slid downwards. Grass-covered muck splashing over her armour as three rushed volleys slammed into the ground around her with a muffled staccato sound.

Then she was at the bottom, _running_, blind like a terrified animal, fear squeezing a hole in her belly.

_Williams' don't feel fear_. She growled at the thought, a distant call through the fog clouding her mind.

Yet she _did_, it was squeezing and pulling, _digging_ into her like an iron spike. Her shoulder jerked forward as a volley struck her shoulder from behind, but she kept herself on her feet and kept the pace up even as her head swam with a pain she didn't really feel.

_Williams' don't feel fear_! She gasped, vision blurry with exhaustion, yet her legs pumping automatically, moving her forward even as her mind screamed at her to stop, to fight, to do..._something_!

Then her left knee gave in, pain shooting from her limb and up her spine. _Shot_? The thought fluttered through her mind even as she fell forward, her right knee failing to parry and giving up the struggle as well._ I don't want to_..._Williams' don't die running_!

A growl as much as a groan escaped her as she rolled with her fall, hand moving to her hip, finding her pistol still strapped to her waist, the gun humming as her hands freed it from its holster and swung it about.

A thump and she was on her back, right hand around the pistol, left moving to support instinctively.

_Williams'_!

A squeeze and the first drone exploded mid-air, its central 'eye' struck.

_Don't_!

Another squeeze, the next drone turning into a miniature fireball as the shot hit its underside.

_Feel_!

A third shot, this one striking the top wing of the last drone, setting it into a spin before it crashed into the mud next to her, sending chunks of it splattering over her visor.

_Fear_!

A gasp, her own she realised, and she lowered the gun. Suddenly limp she felt her head drop back as all strength left her, leaving her struggling for breath like a dying fish as a weak arm moved up to brush the muck away from her helmet.

_This isn't happening_..._the_ _scientists_..._my_..._squad_..._I_..._no_...

A sound of gnarled static...and Ashley felt the blood drain from her face as she looked up the hill from whence she had come.

The Geth were there, six of them, weapons fixed upon her as they smoothly moved down the hill, always with the same sliding movement, as if the incline wasn't even there. They didn't move faster, nor slower, the cold light of their eyes boring into her. There was no hatred there, no anger or even spite. Only cold _logic_...calm and uncaring.

_They're in no hurry, they'll come down, and then_..._God_..._not_ _the_ _spikes_...

Ashley wanted to scream, but nothing came as she whipped her head left and right, finding the ground on both sides sloping upwards, topped by thick forests._ There's nowhere to go_.

_Not the spikes, God in heaven I_..._not_ _the_ _spikes_...

Looking back she found the ground there too sloping upwards, up towards a formation of rocks that might as well have been miles away. _Nowhere to go_!

_Not the spikes_!

She kicked away with her legs, her elbows pulling back, dragging her backwards in a futile attempt to escape even as the Geth closed in on her. Still they did not hurry...they were calm and slow...as if she was nothing but an injured rodent they had all the time in the world to kill.

_Please! Not the spikes_!

Her upper back struck a boulder, hard and firm against her back, refusing to yield to her desperate pushing...and _real_.

With a hiss Ashley pushed down the fear, squashed it deep within her gut as she swallowed. _I will not die like that_!_ I will not die a coward_! _I will die proudly_!

The hiss turned into a growl and the pistol, nearly forgotten as it was pushed into the mud, suddenly rose, held by a hand Ashley didn't even feel any more._ It's all so_..._surreal_...

The Geth stopped, weapons raised against her...stances tensing...

Then the rightmost Geth exploded.

Ashley blinked, with her finger not yet having squeezed the trigger it was...confusing. The other Geth whirled about, even the _machines_ acting confused by the sudden death.

Then a second Geth jerked, milky liquid pouring from its neck as its head snapped around in an explosion of glass and torn pieces of metal.

A moment later the cracking boom of a firing sniper rifle rolled over the valley, making Ashley's dim gaze follow a dark shape moving through the forest to her right, a tree among them exploding as the Geth return-fire struck where the shape had been a second before.

An assault rifle barking...and the shields around the four Geth troopers flared with the impacts, the disciplined volleys tearing through the shields until they exploded in flares of white light.

_Volleys_..._marine_ _volleys_...

Ashley flew to her feet, the pistol in her hand jerking...and one of the Geth in the centre dropped onto its left knee, its thigh spilling white liquid all over the limb. Another jerk of her pistol and the thing fell onto its back, the light in its skull shattering with a crack.

Then an orb of dark blue light flew over her head, slamming into the leftmost Geth's chest, smashing it off its feet, one of the feet striking the next one in the ankle and toppling it over as well.

The one standing whirled about to target whatever had fired the odd projectile, only to once more whirl about as the dark shape in the forest broke cover. The pulse rifle in the machine's hands sung an oddly electronic beat as the bolts of white energy struck a raised black gauntlet...then ended abruptly as the hand gripped the weapon, wrenched it sideways...before another hand slammed the owner's own gun into the gut of the machine.

A loud boom...and the Geth's kicking legs and hips fell in one direction as the rest of its body remained hanging by the held gun...before being thrown aside like a broken toy.

Ashley, teeth bared in a snarl, advanced, barely aware of another dark shape close to her left, or the gun raised, a mirror of her own. Her eyes shone with rage as she stared down at the first of the two Geth knocked over, watching the filthy machine mechanical movements struggle as it came to its feet.

One shot.

Two shots.

Three shots.

The gun next to her was an echo of her own, an repeat of the barking shot of her pistol...and the six shots all found their target.

The machine jerked – twisted – the plates covering its chest snapping and breaking. Its right arm turning limp as a stray bullet caught its shoulder, its left coming up to clutch at its chest as the fifth bullet sent shards of metal flying out from its back, the sixth a mere added insult to injury as it tore open one of the metal cables connecting its head to its mangled torso with a gush of milky fluids.

It fell, a leaky pile of scrape metal.

Dead.

_No_..._not_ _dead_..._destroyed_... Ashley felt herself sway where she stood, feeling light headed as the adrenaline seeped away, leaving her drained. It's destroyed... She eyed the leaky pile, its lifeblood pouring into the mud, its mangled body still. _I-it won't get up_..._will_ _it_?

The first shape to have appeared to her rescue had his back to her, stepping up to the last moving Geth, foot stomping down on its back, pushing it back into the mud as he levelled the shotgun in his hand...Ashley found herself watching the event like in a dream, as if she didn't care about the outcome, her anger and fear equally gone, leaving her..._empty_.

"Are you okay?" The concerned question was uttered by a somewhat harsh voice, as if hoarse. It was _kind_ though, gentle even, as was the hand finding her wrist, forcing her still raised weapon down and turning her to face the new arrival.

The man was no more then an inch taller then her and sported a solid set of shoulders most male marines in the Alliance got after boot-camp. There was something softer about him though, his rectangular face and sharp nose fit well with a marine, even the slight stubble spoke of a marine working in a garrison, the thick black eyebrows and black hair cut short at the sides perhaps softening him a _little_...

_It must be the eyes_...

There was a calm in the brown orbs meeting her gaze, intelligence...but mostly a calm, reassuring, kind. Ashley met the eyes and felt her shoulders drop, if only a little. "Y-yes...I'm fine." She cleared her throat, jumping straight as she noticed the dark armour of his sported a shoulder pad with the markings on them. "Lieutenant." She moved a hand for a salute...then hesitated, her movements unsteady as she struggled to focus.

The man glanced down, his omni-tool glowing as he raised it, frowning even as the boom of a firing shotgun was followed by a electronic hiss of a dying Geth. "Any injuries?"

Ashley shifted where she stood, taking half a step back as she moved a hand up, brushing some mud off her helmet and feeling the loss of the assault rifle from the usual spot on her back keenly. "Just my pride sir." She grimaced, shaking her head as she forced the grief about to well up back down. "I'm a little pissed too...got a pill for that?" She laughed, a nervous chuckle, nearly a titter.

_Dear God_..._I_ _must_ _be_ _close_ _to_ _hysteria_..._or_ _does_ _one_ _feel_ _that_?

The man shot her a glance, the omni-tools glow fading, his mouth twitching in a worried frown, making Williams straighten even further. _Remember who you are, Williams' aren't weak_. The man didn't' seem to notice, a hand moving to tap his armoured chest: "I am Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko and this is Commander..." He turned and frowned. "...Commander?"

Following his gaze Ashley found her second rescuer advance upon one of the more whole Geth corpses, smoothly and almost mechanical, as if copying the Geth's movement, shotgun at the ready until he came up to it...and then slamming the heel of his foot into it's 'throat' with a crunch of snapping steel.

Only then did he turn to face them, lowering his weapon.

Ashley swallowed.

He was _tall_. Ashley wasn't short by any means, yet he was a full head taller, way over six feet in height. Ashley had seen many tall men, but not one so solidly built, sporting almost _abnormally_ wide shoulders the man reminded her of a tank in his black armour, his sheer size making her feel tiny.

His armour was pitch black and scuffed from wear and tear, making Ashley look him from bottom to top. A row of small cylindrical grenades were attached along the length of his right thigh. _Fancy_... A black knife, large and mostly hidden in its sheath, was strapped to his left boot. _Huh_?_ Marines have cutting tool in their armour_..._why_ _the_ _knife_? Across his chest a bandoleer hung, more grenades, larger ones, hanging from it. _That's a lot of firepower_... Added to that both a sniper rifle and an assault rifle stuck up from his back, not to mention the pistol at his hip and the shotgun in his hands. _And __I'm__ considered strange for adding a sniper rifle to the usual complement of rifle and side-arm_... And his left breast the white letters 'N7' shone out.

_Oh_...

Ashley straightened further, realising she stood in front of one of the Alliance's finest...and painfully aware of the mud clinging to her back. _God_..._and_ _my_ _assault_ _rifle_..._it's_ _still_ _out_ _there_. _I'm going to be chewed out_...

Then she allowed herself to look at the man's face. He sported a small mouth, looking all the more so with the cleanly shaven but heavy set jaw, as if it had been chiselled out of granite. The thin nose of his was crooked ever so slightly to the left from an old break and his blond hair was cut short, not shaved, but close. A jagged and deep-looking scar ran from his large forehead downwards over his somehow unscathed right eye and partly over his cheek. An eye that...

Ashley felt her gut tighten.

The blue eyes looking down at her was _glowing_, cold and harsh, uncaring, unfeeling, hard...logical...

_Geth_!

It was a nightmare, even when the man took a step forward, stopping the setting sun from reflecting in his eyes, there was _still_ a glow in the eyes, an inner fire of unfeeling ice.

Her mouth opened, but no words came, no scream..._nothing_, her feet frozen to the spot. _Geth_..._no_..._human_..._safe_..._not_ _safe_..._run_..._stay_..._Geth_! It hurt, the confusing signals of her already confused mind tearing into her, making lights dance before her eyes.

_A nightmare_..._it has to be a nightmare_..._God_..._please_...

The man stopped.

Blinked.

And the fire was gone, replaced by a look so sympathetic and kind that Ashley found her head swimming with confusion.

It was as if a light-switch had been flipped

"Are you okay?" The man advanced, _fast_, hand reaching out, catching her forearm in a vice-like grip and holding her upright as she swayed where she stood.

_No_. Ashley nearly laughed, but held down the hysterics, forcing it down with gritted teeth. "Yes...just...heh...I usually don't have such long workdays..."_ It has been an eternity_... She shook her head, crushing her eyes closed. _Get a grip soldier_. She planted her feet into the ground as she forced herself back into focus, looking back at the Commander: "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams sir." She wrenched her hand free from the man's grip and moved it up to offer a sharp salute, taking comfort in the familiar movement.

"At least it's not boring." The man offered, a ghost of a smile on his lips, a hand moving to offer a short pat to her shoulder.

"This is Commander Michael Shepard..." The lieutenant offered, the rest of what he was saying turning into a mutter as Ashley found herself staring.

_The angel of death_..._God's retribution_...she found a hand moving to brush her hair back, only to realise she still wore her helmet, instead she simply shifted where she stood, swallowing as she struggled with herself.

She had seen him in the extranet, all the interviews, all the bios made by various programs, the dramatization...but she had _never_ hoped to see the idol and hero of every marine in the Alliance, she in particular given her family history, in the flesh! _The criminal made marine, the marine made idol_, _the hero of the Skyllian blitz_...

She couldn't help but stare.

Only too late did she realise that the lieutenant, she'd forgotten his name already, had asked her a question.

The now soft blue eyes twinkled with something, amusement? Sympathy? "Well Chief? What do you know of the scientists?"

"I...think they're dead." Ashley replied, finding herself unable to formulate it any better, feeling oddly disarmed under the sympathetic gaze. "T-the marines too...the Geth pounced us..." She felt the corners of her eyes well up and blinked furiously, keeping the tears at bay even as her throat swelled. "You're here...for the beacon right...you...couldn't have arrived so fast otherwise..."

"Yes, but we're here to help as well." The hero replied, voice calm, reassuring. "Where's the beacon? What do you know of it?"

"Just something the scientists liked..."Ashley swallowed as the admission rolled out of her mouth. "...honestly I didn't pay much attention to it..." There was no accusation in the eyes looking back at her, only a prodding _need_ for her to go on, a need she _couldn't_ deny even if she wanted to. "I...think the Geth took it...south...yes...sir...south." She found herself shuddering as she averted her gaze. "Towards that shadow of a ship..."

"A ship?" Shepard echoed, his tone shifting ever so slightly. "They are planning to remove it." The tone was now almost cold. "Chief, are you fit for duty?" _Ice_.

Ashley nodded, saluted, meeting the gaze of the Commander, meeting the returned glow within them with nary a shiver. "I insist upon it sir, I want payback."

Instantly a hand was in front of her, index finger raised against her face, the cold eyes looking down at her, brooking _no_ argument. "_I_ am in command, you do as I _say_, you will _not_ act rashly due to a need for vengeance, is that _understood_?"

Ashley nodded, raising her chin in defiance even as she saluted. "Crystal sir!"

Then he brushed past her, assault rifle already in hand, voice flat and cold. "Then move out."

And the others followed...

8

8

8

_Thanks goes to Abydos Jackson for her continued help and support._


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley thought she had known what to expect when they crested the hill.

The hill where she had her squad had made a desperate last defence along with some dockworkers and scientists, large, flat and with some good cover that had been mangled and torn into shreds by the Geth firepower.

She was wrong.

The spikes were there for sure, made of some dark metal that seemed to absorb rather then reflect the light of the setting sun. There was at least thirty of them, standing on three large and clawed feet they resembled the feet of some giant lizard, but the black spike jutting up from their centres were like the end of some massive pike...pikes upon which the dead hung, skewered through the chest, held up in the air as if on display.

She had _seen_ them become skewered, had _heard_ their screams, _smelled_ the blood...felt her own freeze in fear even as she ran...

Yet the picture had changed, the dead weren't...she had _seen_ them die! She had _seen_ their blood covering the spikes, _seen_ their skin go pale as they were drained! It hadn't been more then an _hour_ ago!

The black things stuck upon the spikes _weren't_ what she remembered, their bodies of some ash-coloured flesh that weren't really flesh, a pale blue light emanating from their joints, as if they were more machines then humans any more, golems. And their faces...pale grey, eyes glowing with blue light, arcs of lightning escaping them...as if they struggled to contain the power within them.

Yet the worst thing was that they were still familiar.

The shape of the faces, the jaw lines...she _recognised_ some of them.

_Tim_?

With a grinding sound of metal the spikes begun to slide down.

"My god...what _is_ that?" Kaidan's mouth was just a distant mutter.

_Jefferson_?

A thump of thirty spikes disappearing within the claws, freeing the husks of men and women.

"A-are they getting up?" Kaidan's voice, the fear in it nothing compared to the horrified shiver running down Ashley's spine as she took a step back.

_J-Josh_?

A low growl, distorted and inhuman, escaped the face Ashley stared at, the distinctly wide mouth moving to bare glowing blue fangs.

Then the face was torn asunder, black foulness splattering across the ground as the greyish face opened like a ripe melon, spilling black and blue pieces that no human possessed over the ground.

With a thud the creature that had been Josh fell to its knees...then prone.

Michael's voice was as inhuman as the creature's before them as he took a step forward, the barrel of his assault rifle still smoking: "Eliminate them."

Hisses, growls...and the husks of what had once been men and women rushed forth, pale grey hands ending in blue claws reaching out even as the creatures set off in a looping gait.

_I'm sorry_..._I should have_..._I'm_ _sorry_...

Dark blue energy arched past her, Kaidan's biotic missile slamming into the torso of the nearest husk, sending it flying into several behind it with a metallic crunch.

_Jefferson_...

Ashley fired, the pistol in her hands jerking twice in quick succession...and the husk stumbled, clutching its chest before being torn apart by the ones behind it as they lunged forward. _Sorry_...

_Tim_...

The blurry shape spun as the shot slammed into its left shoulder, then hissed as the second shot took it in the back, tearing right through it. _Sorry_...

One of the husks leapt at her, only for Ashley to slam the grip of her gun into its face, knocking it backwards as its claws uselessly scrapped at Ashley's shoulder pads. As it stumbled back she levelled the gun...

_Bhatia_...

A thump, the head of the husk snapping backwards, the back of its skull exploding with shards of grey plates and black gore, the flailing claws going still..as the creature fell back onto the grass. _I'm so sorry_...

And everything went still.

Ashley realised she was panting, breath struggling, shuddering.

Stiff as a board she lowered her gun, blinking furiously at the tears, trying to bring the world back into focus.

Before her the husks lay slain, a crater made from a grenade she hadn't even seen or heard explode was lined with the torn remains of the creature's in the centre of the dead. One was still standing, stumbling backwards with a missing right arm, its head lolling as it came to slump against the claw that had released it. _Tommy_...

It bared its teeth in a wordless snarl...its remaining arm reaching out towards the advancing Michael...

A stomping foot took it in the inside of its right leg, sending it down on one knee with a hiss and a crunch, it's claws uselessly flailing against the Commander's armoured chest as his icy eyes bored into it, the barrel of his smoking assault rifle coming to rest upon the back of its skull.

_So sorry_...

Tommy's – the creature's – skull exploded to the sound of a single shot.

Ashley looked away, down at her hands, still clutching her gun, shamefully.

_I'm so sorry_...

"Chief?" A hand on her shoulder, making her flinch and almost raise her gun. Kaidan raised his hands, keeping his face neutral, if tinged by sympathy, as he met her gaze. "Sorry...you're okay?"

"I'm fine!" Ashley snapped, looking away as she drew a shuddering breath. _I_..._dammit_..._you're_ _a_ _Williams',_ _girl_!

"It's just that you..."

"I'm fine sir, really." Ashley took a step away from the far too observant lieutenant, her mouth twisting into a grimace of anger. "I just...I knew these people." _My friends_... She blinked again, willing the tears away even as she watched Michael step towards one of the clawed tripods, his gun lowered as a hand moved to his helmet, no doubt activating the camera in it as he muttered something under his breath.

A muted crunch told her Kaidan was moving closer, furtively. "If you want to take a moment we could perhaps..."

"No." Ashley growled the word, straightening. "We don't have time." _And a Williams doesn't grieve, she gets even_.

"Agreed." Michael muttered, moving away from the alien tripod, face calm as stone, eyes as cold and unfeeling as ice as he stepped over the torn remains of the husks, his heavy footsteps crushing anything getting beneath them, making Ashley struggle not to grimace. "Move out." He brushed past Ashley, unfazed by the drying tears on her cheeks, _uncaring_.

_My hero_...Ashley grimaced in irritation, embracing the emotion, more then happy to ignore the grief and shame tearing into her with anger aimed at the back of the man so incapable of sympathy...the man who was _supposed_ to be her idol...

Still grimacing she moved to follow, ignoring Kaidan's searching gaze.

Two steps and they came to a halt as something _screamed_.

_Screamed_!

Ashley stumbled, a hand moving to her ears on instinct before her helmet's auditory pick up system muffled the painful sound tearing into her.

A rumbling, the ground beneath her heaving, shaking.

And then the sun was gone, blotted out by darkness sweeping over them, making her shiver in the sudden chill.

Something above her, moving, _fast_!

Ashley found herself ducking, hands coming to cover her head as the lieutenant next to her did the same, a curse escaping them both as they wide-eyed craned their heads to follow the moving shadow.

_Huge_...Ashley found her jaw dropping as the ship swept over them, it had to be far above them, yet it felt as if she could just reach up and _touch_ it...and that if she did so would be _torn_ _apart_ by it.

Black with a slightly purple tint to it the ship sported eight multi-jointed arms along its long flanks, arms ending in slightly curved claws. Combined with its sleek shape ending in a tapering point at its back and it resembled a giant squid to Ashley's eyes, or perhaps an insect... _A __huge__ insect_...

She found her jaw dropping as she saw the insecticidal ship turn sharply as it flew, banking sharply up through the clouds with something resembling a growl as it tore through the atmosphere.

And behind her she heard Michael's mutter, bringing her back to reality. "Approximately five kilometres in length, multiple limbs likely ending in weaponry, must contain a massive mass effect core to maintain altitude within atmosphere, speed and agility that of a frigate...dreadnought class."

Swallowing she forced herself to look away from where the massive...thing...had escaped...her eyes narrowing at the Commander holding his helmet steady, a small red light at the side showing that he was filming as he spoke in a low mutter, his face cold and calm as ever, despite the massive thing just encountered.

"I...don't think I've ever seen such a thing." Kaidan muttered, the man shuddering where he stood, a hand moving to rest on his pistol. "How could it move like that? And be that big? Down here? I can't...are the Geth really _that_ powerful?"

Ashley had no answer.

Michael did though, a gruff: "Apparently." And he was turning around to lead them onwards.

_Uncaring_!

"Sir, I don't think you realise..."

"Silence." Michael snapped, having become still as he kept himself behind a boulder, looking down their hill, the order making Kaidan's mouth slam shut.

_Oh for_... Ashley felt tense as a bowstring, a string the coldness of the Commander was about to _snap_. "_Sir_, that thing was..."

"Silence." He repeated the order, _danger_ in the tone.

_I'm not to be intimidated after all this shit you son of a_... Ashley took a step forward, hands closing into fists...

Then stopped, gaze following Michael's as she looked down at where they had had a loading bay for things being transported from the dock...now it was nothing but torn rubble, fire consuming most of it as more spikes holding husks of the colonists lay strewn around, a few Geth walking among them in the same unhurried matter.

But Michael wasn't looking at them, he was looking at the corpse laying face down on a loading platform, a _Turian_ corpse.

_A Turian_? _On Eden Prime_? Ashley frowned in confusion. Eden Prime was a decidedly human world, if any aliens showed up they usually stayed momentarily at the docks before leaving, and they _never_ sported armour!

Michael's voice was clear and calm, unfeeling as ever as his hand moved to his helmet: "Normandy command, this is Commander Shepard, we have a downed Nihlus Kryik, I repeat, the Spectre is by all appearances dead."

_Spectre_! Ashley flinched, staring at the corpse, realising just how little she knew of what was going on.

"Sir! Over there!" Kaidan was suddenly next to them, arm stretching out, pointing beyond the downed Turian, at two Geth walking away...between them another Turian was walking away, back towards them. _Wait_..._a Turian working with the Geth_! _Is that even __possible_! _Lousy traitorous creatures_...

"Filming." Michael muttered. "Command, this is Shepard, we have another Turian fleeing the scene, can only see the back of him..." There was no frustration in the tone, only fact. "He's moving towards..." A small glance down at his glowing omni-tool...and the Commander continued: "...the tram station leading to the docks, we are in pursuit."

Ashley saw the movement ahead though, and couldn't help but pat the Commander on the shoulder as she drew her gun. "Ummm...that might take a while sir..._company_."

A distant sound of sliding metal and the spikes down at the valley slid down, freeing the husks even as the Geth walking around them turned as one, drawn weapons aiming up at the three.

"I _think_ they might have spotted us..." Kaidan noted.

Michael was already advancing though, the sniper rifle in his hand cracking, sending one of the Geth flying backwards. "Noted."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for being there._


	3. Chapter 3

_Come here you bitch_...

A clank of metal feet striking metal floor.

Ashley grunted as she swung her rifle around the box she was hiding behind, slamming the butt of it into the eye of the Geth trying to charge at Kaidan, its gnarled static of a language raising in pitch before the lieutenant's pistol clipped the stumbling machine in the leg, felling it.

Trusting the violently gasping lieutenant to finish off the downed Geth, Ashley leapt over it, dropped behind the low wall it so recently had jumped over as another one, standing just a few feet from said wall, opened fire on her, the hissing shots tearing into the wall. She then jumped back up and placed a long round of shots from her new assault rifle into its chest, the close ranged volley tearing its chest apart with droplets of white liquid and pieces of steel flying everywhere.

_That's for Josh_.

_Technically_ she had already avenged him, not to mention the entire squad, _three_ times over. But with her teeth bared into a near feral snarl and her breath an excited panting Ashley couldn't give a shit about such things, all she knew was that there were more Geth ahead, each and every single one of them about to feel her wrath...dead meat.

_Or cogs, whatever_.

Behind her she heard the Geth cry out with its odd high pitched sound of dying electronics as Kaidan pumped more shots into it. Somewhere to her left Michael was moving, darting from box to box as they fought their way through the Eden Prime docks.

Fought was perhaps too meek a word, they were _tearing_ their way through.

Sure, Kaidan was slowing down, the biotic often moving his hand up towards his head with a grimace before catching himself. He was still fighting though, his switching between engineering skills and biotic powers having proven a sharp asset to the otherwise blunt instrument of the three marines. Still, the man was obviously in pain, and struggling to keep up with the pace of the other two.

In contrast Ashley was pushing through her shock, leaving it behind like a shed shell, a stifling blanket tossed aside in favour of running free and wild. She fought, harder, faster, than ever before. It was as if a block in her had been lifted, turning her into a storm of motion and killing, only going faster and faster...a berserker sweeping through her foes with fire and steel.

And between them both Michael was. Sturdy, unchanging, as much a machine as the ones they fought. Mechanically working through the movements of ducking and weaving, going from hiding behind cover and appearing out for a precise volley of shots. Nothing but precision, smoothness, _calm_.

Even now, the beep within their helmets telling them an explosive device had been activated, the man didn't seem in any further hurry. His massive shape nothing but a shadow to Ashley's left as he jumped over a box and disappeared under a couple of pipes, his assault rifle barking from beneath them and tearing the legs off from beneath an advancing Geth.

The dock was clearly in disarray from the sudden attack. In the loading area where the group was advancing forth through the boxes of machinery and equipment for farmers and scientists everything lay haphazardly. many boxes still resting on the trucks whose drivers barely had moved to a stop before jumping out of the machines.

Compared to the chaotic and industrial area of the loading area of the docks the landing pads themselves were still clean and crisp, two octagons, raised platforms ahead upon which a single large and red gas-tank rested. Upon all platforms orderly rows of shuttles mainly used by the scientists for moving between different facilities or to the few orbiting stations around the planet stood parked. Ashley couldn't help but notice one on the rightmost platform was missing...

_But it's too small to carry the beacon_...Ashley narrowed her eyes, that the beacon might still be around was _little_ comfort._ That asshole got away_...

A growl and she broke cover, ignoring the shot instantly striking her helmet with a flare of failing shields as she broke out of the loading area.

Crashing her shoulder into a Geth she knocked the machine over and onto the stairs leading up to one of the platforms, crushed its head by smashing her foot into it and using her raised leg to steady her arm...fired right at the rightmost platform's gas-tank.

The light blinded, her, the roar deafened her, the heat seared her...and the shock-wave sent her tumbling onto her back. _Son of a_...

Ahead, the pillar supporting the platform cracked, making the platform list, the few shuttles not already having been thrown off by the force of the explosion sliding across the floor...sweeping away the charred remains of the Geth snipers that had lain prone there moments before.

_Suck it Geth_!

Ashley's growl turned into a groan as a powerful beam of red energy smashed into her left shoulder guard, singeing her flesh and tearing the white guard off in an explosion of melted metal and broken ceramics.

Gritting her teeth against the pain Ashley stumbled back and felt anger swell within her, and this time there was no excitement of the battle to focus her, no discipline to temper her, no grief to still her.

_Fuck_ _you_! The groan was instantly replaced by the growl as Ashley rushed forth, spraying bullets against the covering sniper upon the next platform.

_You ugly_! It fired again, but missed as Ashley jumped forth, rolling with the impact and coming up at the foot of the stairs leading up to the platform.

_Son of a_! Another Geth appeared next to the sniper, it's rifle spitting hissing white pulses at her, all but two shots missing, both striking her chest with a hiss of sizzling armour, rocking her back even as she continued her charge.

_Bitch_! Her rifle swept back and forth as she leapt up the stairs, taking two steps at a time even as the Geth sniper rolled sideways, dropping its rifle and clutching at the cords running between its head and torso, white liquid spraying from them due to a stray shot finding its mark.

An alarm, her rifle overheating...and Ashley couldn't care less as she leapt up on top of the platform, two more shots struck her, this time in the abdomen, stinging her skin beneath as the armour buckled under the hits.

She welcomed the pain, the anger, the _hatred_.

Her right leg swung round with the momentum of her body, striking the Geth's gun and turning it sideways. Stomping the swinging leg's foot down on the floor she continued with the spin, her left leg pulled back...then kicking out as the momentum brought her around.

A crack and the Geth stumbled back, a visible dent in its chest, a crackle of energy escaping the damaged area even as the machine brought its weapon to bear...

She went limp, body dropping onto her right side as the rifle fired into the space she had occupied, then into the ground behind her as her left foot caught the Geth in the knee, sending it tumbling forward, prone across her.

She kicked herself free from the flailing machine quickly though, moving as much on instinct as by training.

Dropping onto its back with her right knee first she hooked her now cooling rifle over the throat of the machine, one hand on each side of its head...and _pulled_, hard and fast.

A creaking of protesting metal, an electronic call resembling a cry, flailing hand reaching back towards her...

And a crack.

The Geth went limp.

Breathing heavily Ashley felt her shoulders slump as she wearily removed her rifle from the snapped neck of the machine, one hand coming to rest upon its cool shell as she gasped for breath, her body numb save the tingling where her armour had failed in its protection of her. _It'll_ _heal_...

Grunting she straightened, glaring down at the prone Geth as she struggled to her feet. _You_ _won't_.

She spat at it.

Around her silence ruled.

_Right, enough of this idiocy, got a job to do_. Looking back down the platform she found Michael nodding crouched by a cylindrical pod-like thing, most likely the bomb, though the alarm in Ashley's helmet had already stopped, so he was probably just investigating it. The way he held his helmet while muttering confirming Ashley's suspicion.

Kaidan on the other hand was staring at her, mouth hanging slightly open. _Oh_. Ashley found herself frowning, hiding her blush, idly wondering if her cursing thoughts had really been shouts...and if it would be against protocol to shoot herself on the spot. _God_..._I know that was my fault but did you __have__ to let him see me_? It wasn't at all better when Kaidan noticed she was looking back and instead of gaping raised an eyebrow in silent question, almost looking amused. _Ah, I see, being a jerk today are we God_?_ If you weren't all powerful_...

Moving down the stairs Ashley casually rested her still smoking rifle on her right shoulder as she moved her left, and damaged, shoulder into a shrug. "What? Never seen a girl marine before?"

"Not like _that_." Kaidan replied, nodding towards the havoc raised upon the platforms...or rather _platform_...the first one slowly listing more and more until its support snapped, sending it crashing to the ground. "I don't remember them _ever_ instructing us in anything like that back in boot-camp..."

Ashley smirked, moving her rifle back into both hands before her as she took a step towards the biotic. "What can I say? Don't piss me off."

The man glanced over the destruction once more, then nodded ever so slightly. "Good thing I know how to take instructions..."

Before she could reply Michael's voice broke in, calm and flat, neither impressed nor upset with Ashley's bold assault. "Threat neutralised, move on to main objective, there."

The frown of irritation about to appear on Ashley's forehead never got a chance to develop as she with widening eyes followed Michael's pointing finger, finding the beacon standing in a corner of the docks, as if about to be loaded, only to have been forgotten.

It was _glowing_.

Taking a step forward Ashley cocked her head to the side, brushing past Michael as she muttered: "Well _that's_ new...I thought it was dead when they brought it up...how...?"

_Saren_? She only had the name given by that lousy dockworker to go on, a foreign name that tasted bad on her tongue. _If he somehow_..._but_ _how_! _And_ _why_ _would_ _some_ _Turian_ _care_ _about_ _a_ _glowing_ _stick_..._green_ _too_..._looks like glowing puke_...

Behind her Michael was already ignoring it, as if it didn't matter any more now that it was discovered. "Normandy, this is shore party, we have recovered the main objective and need extraction, I repeat, we have the main objective." The voice remained cold and uncaring, oddly so given the next question: "Lieutenant, are you injured? Do you need medi-gel?"

"No sir, I'll be fine." The hoarse voice of Kaidan's replied, a distant thing as Ashley took yet another step towards the glowing metal stick, gun half-raised, wary.

_I don't get it_..._what_ _the_ _hell_ _is_ _a_ _beacon_? _And_ _why_ _would_ _some_ _Turian_ _ass_ _want_ _to_ _ally_ _with_ _the_ _Geth_ _to_ _get_ _it_? _It's_ _just_..._sitting_ _there_.

Then something struck her.

Blinking she took half a step back, feeling a strange _pressure_ smashing into her body, an ethereal wind.

_What_...?

The pressure took form, incorporeal it still _felt_ real as it wrapped itself around her shoulders, her waist. She opened her mouth to cry a warning to the others, but nothing came as the air was squeezed out of her lungs by the power closing in around her. _God_!

Then there was no ground under her feet, her body rising high, as if a giant had picked her up to observe her, crushing her without even knowing it. _Help_ _me_!

Her back arched, her head snapping backwards as _something_ pushed..._into_ her...digging into her skull like a white-hot needle.

_Pain_!

Then blood, blood before, her, running down blurry walls, jagged teeth bared in snarls...

She _screamed_.

Terror, wave after wave of _terror_!

Trashing, feeling something within her snap.

A scream, begging, hatred...smashing into her, digging into her...

_Screamed_...

Flames...fire, burning, all gone...grief...

_Screamed_...

Terror...all about, _terror_!

Then she fell, her vision swimming as she found herself on the ground before the monstrous thing they had come from, muscled arms like a vice around her waist.

She tried to scream again, but there was no air...black stars dancing before her vision.

Then she was flying through the air, tossed like a broken doll across the floor, slamming into the chest of a grunting man, sending them both sprawling over the floor.

She tried to raise her head, but couldn't quite manage it as she looked back towards the monstrous thing born out of the planet they'd thought a paradise._ The snake_...

Before it even Shepard looked small, the man rising upwards, a dark spot in Ashley's swimming vision, his arms flung out to his sides, his body going rigid. _And_ f_or our sins he_...

Then all went black.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her vigilant watch over these chapters. :-)_


	4. Chapter 4

Ashley found herself chewing her bottom lip.

She was sitting on one of the small beds of the infirmary, her legs over the edge and her hands clamped down onto it tightly enough for it to hurt, her back rigid. Her uniform felt too tight, making her feel as if there was a tight belt around her chest, forcing her to breathe in small gasps.

_Don't_ _die_.

In the bed next to her Shepard lay, pale as a ghost, the many straps buckled across his frame and to the bed creaking in protest as his body strained against them, the soldier trying to toss back and forth in his unconsciousness. The only part of him free to move was his head, doctor Chakwas unwilling to risk him snapping his neck struggling against any straps there, and it tossed to the left and right incessantly, his eyes screwed shut, forehead wrinkled in an angry frown and teeth bared in a snarl.

_Don't die damn it_! Ashley mimicked Shepard's snarl, glaring at him even as she felt the self-loathing again and again pound against her heart.

Her gaze darted up, finding the doctor's back turned to them, her grey head bowed as she stood in a muttered conversation with captain Anderson.

_Captain_ _Anderson_...Ashley's gaze flicked to the dark-skinned man, the man was still a powerful figure in his full dress uniform, even though he was showing the first hints of ageing. Given all that had happened Ashley couldn't even be surprised to find a second legend upon the Normandy, in fact it almost felt natural to think the great captain as the legendary Shepard's mentor.

Currently it wasn't shit though.

_Why aren't you getting over here_! Her glare moved back to Chakwas, _willing_ her to move back to the tossing Shepard...yet the doctor still ignored her, making the bed under Ashley creak as her hands closed around the edge all the harder.

He had gotten medication, tranquillizers...it hadn't helped, or at least not to Ashley's eyes, eyes now moving back to stare at the man's face. A face shining with sweat that was moving in rivulets down the sharp edges of his features, making the pillow under him sodden and sending droplets flying as his head shot left and right.

_God_..._what's_ _happening_ _to_ _you_! Ashley swallowed, shuddering.

She had only been in the strange hold of the beacon for...Kaidan had claimed three seconds...though it had felt like longer. _Much_ _longer_...

But _Shepard_...he had hung there for a full _two_ _minutes_, tense as a bow string, shaking with the strain...and then been tossed away like a broken doll when the beacon had exploded. Or so Kaidan had claimed since Ashley had still been unconscious.

_Two minutes_... Ashley tried to imagine it, tried to _imagine_ something so much longer then her own horrifying experience...and found herself wanting.

Before her Shepard's head tossed to the left, his entire body trying to follow, a creak of protesting metal greeting the stopped movement as one of the buckles began to give. His neck bulged, a small growl escaping through clenched teeth, making him look like a frenzied animal.

_God_..._what_ _are_ _you_ _seeing_?

Blood.

Screams.

Terror.

Destruction, fear.

Hatred, hopelessness.

Destruction, fear, hatred, hopelessness, blood, screams, terror, terror, screams, blood, blood, terror-

_No_!

Ashley shook her head, once, _hard_. Breathing out in a violent snort she shuddered, then gasped for breath as she looked down at her dangling feet, shoulders bunching up in tension. _It's not real, it wasn't real, only a vision, short, nothing_..._mindless_..._nothing_ _important_..._nothing_...

Before her Shepard growled, his right hand closing into a fist, arm tensing, nearly snapping a struggling strap. _You poor bastard_...Ashley grimaced..._I'm_ _so_ _sorry_.

The guilt gnawed at her, _into_ her, _refusing_ to leave her alone, making her feel..._empty_. Her hero, the idol of every marine in the Alliance...and an hour with Ashley had put him at the gate of Saint Peter for all she knew...

_I can't believe I was so stupid_! She refused to look at Shepard as the man once again growled, the straps around him creaking with the inhuman force struggling against them.

_The Williams' will never recover from this_..._I've_ _dishonoured_ _the_ _name_ _even_ _further_... Ashley shook at the realisation, the taste of ash in her mouth. _Worse, I've gotten a man killed soon_..._a_ _hero_..._not_ _to_ _mention_ _destroyed_ _his_ _objective_ _and_ _any_ _chances_ _of_ _him_ _becoming_ _a_ _Spectre_..._the first __human__ Spectre to boot_...

_All because I was an idiot_!

She took a deep breath, then forced herself to once more look at Shepard, to see what she'd done with her carelessness. He was panting by now, but still struggling against his binds, pale face shining wit the sheen of sweat covering it. _Please don't die_...

"Un..." She jumped at the sound, realising it escaped Shepard, watching as every muscle in his body went rigid, every strap over him creaking as veiny muscles bulged against them. His mouth was opening, teeth shattering, as if he was freezing...and the word came: "Un...acc...eptable!"

"Doctor!" Ashley called out even as the man's eyes snapped open with a grunt, eyes wide, looking left and right in. A moment of panic, then gone.

_Thank_ _God_..._he's_ _alive_.

Ashley found herself blinking in surprise as she saw the doctor come up next to the lying Commander, a Commander already looking calm as he looked over at Chakwas with now almost normal eyes, his breathing steady.

She was even more surprised when the man smiled, even casually: "Hello doctor..." A glance down and he was smirking. "...is there a reason I'm strapped down and haven't been given a safety word? Or will I get the whip for asking?"

_Huh_! Chakwas acted as if nothing was odd as she shook her head with rolling eyes. "Could we cut out the jokes as I examine you?"

"I always follow the doctor's orders." He replied with a chuckle, not in the least showing any awareness of the sweat clinging to his clothes and covering his face. "Though I can tell you I'm fine, a little tired perhaps."

"I'll be the judge of that." Chakwars muttered, holding a scanner next to Shepards neck for a moment, forehead creasing in a frown. "That was...odd...despite the odd brain activity from before...you seem fine." She looked down at the Commander, almost accusatory. "Are you sure you are okay Commander? No dizziness or pain?"

"Nope, now get me out of this getup or turn it into something a bit more fun." Shepard replied with a grin, causing the doctor to sigh in exasperation as she quickly moved to unbuckle the near snapped straps. _Shepard_? Ashley blinked, then blinked again, completely confused. Neither Chakwas nor the approaching Anderson seemed to act as if Michael's behaviour was in any way odd, yet to _her_ it looked as if he'd completely changed character...and she had a sick feeling in her stomach that the beacon, and therefore she, was responsible.

The relief of him being alive was instantly riven with new guilt.

"Thank you doctor, always a pleasure." The man slipped around and sat down at the corner of the bed, back against Ashley as his head tilted from left to right with with snaps of cartilage being aligned. "How long was I gone?"

"Three hours Shepard." Anderson replied, stepping next to the doctor with a concerned look on his face as he eyed the Commander. "I've seen the footage and read the other's reports, but...what exactly happened?"

The Commander hesitated, head bowing as he tensed up. _God, it had to be terri_- "I...w-we...Je-Jenkins w-was lo-lost s-sir." -_fying_? Again she found herself confused as Ashley eyed Shepard's tensing shoulders with a mix of guilt and puzzlement. Of course Kaidan had told her, briefly, of them having lost a man on the mission, but as far as Ashley knew the Commander wasn't all that familiar with the soldier...

"Yes..." Anderson nodded, looking sombre. "I hate to lose men under _my_ command, it's always a toll on _my_ conscience, I should have..." He made an wide gesture with his hand, looking dejected, if only slightly. _Is_ _he_..._faking_! _I_ _don't_...

Michael's shoulders instantly dropped, his head craning to look up at the Captain, smiling compassionately. "It's okay captain, we all make mistakes and..." He looked away, almost shyly. "..thank you."

_What in God's name is going on_? If Ashley hadn't felt so guilty and shamed she would have smacked the Commander over the head for the confusion he was causing, rank or no rank.

"I'll make sure he receives all that he deserves for his service to _me_." Anderson replied stoically, then sighed as he pressed: "But Michael, I _need_ to know...what happened? Was _Saren_ there?" His calm face split into a grimace of disgust, his eyes betraying a surprising amount of hatred before the mask was back on.

"I believe so sir." Shepard replied, tone shifting from the emotional to a cold one. "Though there is little evidence sir." Then back to something akin to a normal one. "Sorry."

"We'll make do." Anderson replied, though for what Ashley wasn't sure. _To_ _get_ _to_ _kick_ _his_ _ass_? _To_ _shoot_ _him_? _I'll pull the trigger_. "Now what of the beacon? What...happened?" He shot Ashley a glance, though it wasn't _at_ _all_ hostile it made her want to crawl into a hole. _Shit_..._I hate compassion, __especially__ when I don't deserve it_!

"My fault Commander." Ashley spoke before Michael had a chance to open his mouth, stepping forth so he could see her when he craned his head to the left. The calm blue eyes looking at her were so..._different_...from the coldness from before that she found herself stuttering ever so slightly: "I...s-stepped too close to the beacon and it caught me, then you rescued me and...w-well..." She looked away, unable to meet his eyes any more as the shame burnt her, made all the worse by Anderson already having signed her up on the Normandy and cleared her of any charges of dereliction of duty._ I don't deserve it_..._none_ _of_ _it_... "...it caught you...and then exploded...I...there's no excuse for the carelessness...sir." She swallowed, feeling cold after the words leaving her, far too simple and pathetic to express her regret. _Where's Tennyson when you need him_?

"Oh yes, _shame_ on you." The sarcastic reply made her look up in shock, finding the Commander's eyes twinkle with clear amusement.

_Amusement_!

"C-Commander?"

The man grinned at her, making her feel like a fool even _before_ he opened his mouth: "I mean you should have _expected_ the over-sized lamppost to contain some sort of sentient and until now dormant power that brings anyone close to it within a powerful forcefield and then proceeds to force-feed them images." He chuckled.

_Chuckled_!

"S-sir?"

"I mean over half of every ancient fossil found does that, didn't you _know_ that?" He shook his head at the ceiling, as if questioning God about Ashley's sense as he continued to make fun of Ashley's guilt.

And she found herself sighing in a mix of irritation and amusement._ Damn it this isn't_... "Sir, I could have..."

"You couldn't have known." The amusement instantly faded, sarcasm as well, as the Commander looked at her with a steady gaze. "You did nothing wrong." With _conviction_.

Ashley stared back at the conviction, swallowed. _Well __this__ is a change, before he sort of struck __me as an asshole, now_..._he's_..._nice_...? Her cheeks flushed...and then she averted her gaze, shoulders slumping as the tension disappeared. "Yes Commander..."

"Outside missions it's Michael." The man replied, then, much to the flushed Ashley's relief, turned his attention back to Anderson. "Sir, I take it we're going to the Citadel to explain..." A furtive gesture, lost. "...all of this?"

"With an attack on a human colony, a Spectre dead and another possible rogue I'd say that's a given." Anderson muttered, arms crossed in front of him as he continued: "Shepard...I need to know _everything_, what you saw, what proof against Saren there is, what that beacon did to you..." The Commander nodded at that, though grimaced at the end, shaking his head much like Ashley had to remove whatever memory tried to enter his mind. "...in private if neither of you two mind?" Anderson shot the two women in the med-bay a look that told them the question was strictly rhetorical.

"Very well." Chakwas grumbled, shooting Michael a worried look before turning to leave.

Ashley lingered as she brushed past the two officers, glancing back to look at Michael, the man managing a weak smile in her direction even as his eyes grew distant. No doubt remembering...the terror...Ashley could only shake her head, unable to understand how he had even _survived_ it, and unable to stop herself from feeling in debt.

She saluted.

But it didn't feel like enough...

8

8

8

She knew she shouldn't be, but she none the less lingered just outside the med-bay, for once ignoring her usual need to check on her station's weapons and armour, something she wasn't sure she was cleared to do now that she had been transferred to the Normandy.

_I should be ecstatic, finally a posting on a ship, an advanced frigate no less, a chance for action, promotions, to do some proper work for the Alliance_...

_Shame I don't deserve it_.

She grimaced, her arms crossed in front of her as she leant against a wall, closing her eyes and pressing away the image of her squad mates being torn apart by the Geth crossfire...only for that crimson image of..._what_ she wasn't sure...pushing _into_ her. _Terror_...

A small grunt and she shifted her stance, brushing aside the images with a scowl. G_et a grip soldier, it's bad enough you don't deserve your new post with those big blunders of yours, but do you have to compound it with being such a pussy about some images you don't understand_?

Thankfully the door to the med-bay opened, distracting her from the shameful thoughts as she directed her attention at captain Anderson.

The man didn't even seem to notice her, his head bowed deep in thought as he strode forward with angry steps, cutting through the main room towards his quarters without even having to look up, while clearly looking angry enough for none to get in his way...as if _anyone_ would do so to the hero from the First Contact War...

A moment later Michael too came out of the med-bay, he too with his head bowed in thought, but his steps more sedated, frown more thoughtful then angry, perhaps even a little...sad?

Ashley straightened, saluted, the motion feeling empty and meaningless as she once more found herself confronted with the hero of the Skyllian Blitz, all the more so now that he had absolved her of her sin of carelessness.

With a start the man looked up, the distant look in his eyes slowly fading as he focused on her, his steps becoming more set as he moved towards her. "Williams, I heard you've been transferred to the Normany."

"Yes sir." Ashley nodded, her hands dropping into one another behind the small of her back as she widened her stance. _Be God-damn proper now trooper_... "It's an honour sir."

"Didn't I say that outside missions you could call me Michael?" The man smiled, the friendliness in his behaviour still startling her. _Where the hell did the tough as nails guy go_! "Anyway, it's an honour to have you, you did good work on Eden Prime, I'm surprised they dumped such a competent soldier as such a crappy posting...not that I'm complaining." There was a question in the eyes, a question _needing_ answering.

Ashley opened her mouth, ready with the standard excuse about politics or bad luck of the draw... "Well the Williams' name isn't all that appreciated in Alliance circles sir, due to what my grandfather did at Shanxi..." _Or we could tell him __everything_..._that's_ _another_ _way_ _to_ _go_ _about_ _it_..._seriously_..._what the hell_! "...you know, the whole surrendering of the garrison and planet..."

The needing question in Michael's eyes faded, but only slightly, making her wince, unable to avert her gaze.

"While that's _his_ mistake I...well those following in his footsteps aren't all that trusted...irrational but then again...what human is rational?" _God, he, the great __hero__, will be disgusted with me and my tainted name now, or __worse__, think me trying to earn points with a sob-story_...

The eyes looking back at her were calm once again, calm and carrying that _conviction_, boring it into her. "I have read every report and summary of that operation, he did the right thing to surrender, resistance would only have cost lives at no gain."

The _conviction_...Ashley found herself turning her head away from it, meeting it in the corner of her eye, if only so she could better endure it. She managed a snort though, smirking at him. "Oh? This coming from the man who won the Star of Terra with his grand defence of Elysium?"

Now it was Shepard's turn to look away, shaking his head with a grunt and a shrug. "Just...trust me on it."

"I'm not the trusting type." Shepard turned his head back to look at her, eyebrow raised in question, making Ashley curse herself. _Dammit, you're forgetting yourself soldier_! "...sir."

"Michael." The man corrected with a small smile, his features softening as he regarded her. "I have yet to ask, sorry about that, how are you holding up?"

Again she snorted, not sure what else to do. "Shouldn't I be the one asking that? You were the one nearly trashing the med-bay with all that trashing about after the beacon's brain-fuck..." She snapped her mouth shut. _Oh God I did __not__ just say that_...?

A small chuckle, the Commander not looking the least offended by the vulgar choice of words. "It _did_ kind of feel like a rape..." He shook his head with a smile and a shrug, as if it was nothing, then the smile faded, forehead wrinkling in concern. "But seriously, you lost a lot of friends down there..."

"I avenged their deaths." Ashley grunted with a shrug. _Many times over_...

He only looked at her, not saying a word.

"They...will have a proper burial and such...can't ask for more." Swallowing she shifted where she stood. _Perhaps that they'd still be __alive_...

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, eyebrow raised, reminding her of just how _small_ she was next to him...

"I...they knew the risks when the signed on sir..."

A small sigh through his nose, the man looking down at her with a growing _knowledge_ that..._irked_ her. A _demand_ that..._hurt_ her.

A final grunt...and Ashley looked away, shoulders slumping, her not having realised they had been all that far up. "I...I'll be okay sir." Relief, it shot through her as she admitted the guilt, then gritted through it. "I _will_."

"Good." Shepard was moving before she had time to look up, a paw of a hand coming to pat her shoulder as he brushed past her. "We'll need you after all."

"Yes sir..." Ashley sighed, looking down at her chest as she heard Michael walk away in the general direction of the cockpit, her own world only a strange mix of relief and guilt rolling around within her stomach.

_I'm going to need a drink_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for being the the support that keeps the train rolling. :-)_


	5. Chapter 5

With a hum the door to the elevator smoothly slid open.

Kaidan glanced to his right, worried about the others while he himself collected his thoughts about what had transpired.

To be honest he hadn't been all that surprised by the Council's decision, he didn't even feel much anger with them. It had always been a fact of life that those on the higher up had to aim for a bigger objective, to see the bigger picture...and that it at times blinded them to justice and ideals...not to mention reality itself as too many problems occupied their thoughts, the sheer scale of their workload making each issue more difficult to properly handle.

Not that it wasn't _frustrating_ for those the government was _supposed_ to _help_...Kaidan shuddered at the thought of the killer all those colonists of Eden Prime remaining loose...ready to enact another crime like it again.

A step ahead of him and at the front of the group Michael was walking, his steps measured and sure, not once had he turned to them since they had left the Council chamber...making Kaidan unsure. Personally he wasn't sure where he _had_ the Commander, he didn't really _distrust_ the man...but it was hard to find someone switching from different moods to outright viciousness as dependable...and as such Kaidan kept half a step further a distance then normal.

Ashley on the other side was visibly fuming, the woman's jaw-muscles twitching again and again as she with small but immeasurable tense steps followed their Commander. Her lips were nothing but a thin line and there was a visible twitch of her hands, as if she wanted nothing more then to grab any of her three guns and blow the Council and a good number of their staff apart in a blaze of self-righteous glory.

_Good thing she didn't try that or I'd been forced to knock her over with my biotics_. And Kaidan _really_ didn't want to anger the woman...he didn't know her all that well of course, but only a _fool_ wouldn't understand that she was not one you wanted to get on the bad side of.

And then they were in the elevator, coming to a stop in the same formation they'd been walking in, almost as if on parade. _Or maybe neither Ashley nor I want to be next to Shepard right now_...

A thump and the door closed behind them, a hint of vertigo...and the elevator began to move downwards for what Kaidan _knew_ would be a long time. _Why did they put the citadel tower so high up anyway_?_Getting to it is a bit of a pain_..._maybe_ _that's_ _the_ _reason_ _actually_?_ Oh well, a few minutes more or less makes no difference in the grand scheme of things_.

Ashley obviously disagreed though, them not even three seconds into the ride before she growled: "I hate this elevator already, it's too slow, can't we just rappel down?"

"I don't think the Council would appreciate marines playing circus in the middle of the citadel Chief." Kaidan pointed out, watching the woman out of the corner of his eye as she whirled at him. _Oh_ _dear_... "Besides, you're not really frustrated with the elevator but with the result of the hearing."

The soldier's eyes narrowed at him, searching for mockery perhaps. _Hostile aren't we_? Kaidan forced himself not to react to it. "Wouldn't _you_ be? Those pricks didn't do _anything_! _Thousands_ of dead and they don't even do a _proper_ investigation of our charges!"

"To be fair there wasn't much evidence we had." Kaidan replied, then hurried to add as he watched Ashley go red with anger. "Really, a drunken and criminal dockworker already confused by that big ship and the Geth attack isn't much of a testimony."

Ashley's redness faded a little as she looked away, arms crossed in front of her. _Is_..._is_ _she_ _pouting_! "Now you sound like the Council..."

Kaidan made a conciliatory move with his hand as he inched closer, bowing his head slightly. "Honestly they had a point, it's not right, but it's the law...there's too much doubt to arrest such a successful Spectre."

Ashley was still turned away from him when she whipped her head around to glare at him. "But what about to footage of him idi-_sir_!"

Kaidan blinked, hesitating at the heat in her voice, then managed a weak smile._ The losses are too personal to her, don't take it personal_. "The Commander only managed to film the back of his neck, not really a telling picture..."

Ashley turned her head to look down at her feet, shaking her head with a frown on her face, glum. "Because there's so many other Turians with extensive cybernetics covering their back all the way up to their neck and back of their head...?"

"Probably not." Kaidan agreed. "But one never knows, besides, it could have been staged as a smear-campaign."

"_What_!" Ashley whirled about to face him, eyes narrowed.

Raising his hands up Kaidan took a step back, trying his best to look neutral. _Okay, so it's __very__ personal to her_... "Relax chief, I'm just saying what the Council might have been thinking. Captain Anderson and Saren obviously have a history, as do humans and Turians, not to mention that Saren is known for his anti-human views. It's not odd for them to consider us humans using this attack as an excuse to get rid of a political enemy..."

"So it comes down to that huh?" Ashley grimaced, her voice a growl as she looked away from him and to the solid back Shepard still kept turned to them. "Humans are still just some second class citizen where their word is less worth then that of a Turian's..."

"To some extent..." Kaidan agreed, shifting his feet, feeling uncomfortable. "...you have to admit that humanity has been a bit rough in their journey into the galactic community..." Before Ashley had time to protest he added: "Besides, this is Saren, a highly decorated Spectre who has served the Council with distinction for years and years...if the roles were reversed we wouldn't so easily cast aside his given word."

Ashley raised a hand, index finger up in protest, her mouth opening...then closed her mouth and lowered her hand as she looked away with a weary shrug. "Perhaps."

"At least they didn't expressively forbid us to try and dig up evidence..." Kaidan tried, gaze darting from the suddenly tired-looking woman to the back of the stoically silent Shepard. _What's on your mind Commander_?_ The ambassador told you to find evidence_..._what's the plan_? There was no answer from the tall man.

"Okay." Ashley grunted, turning to face Kaidan again with an exasperated look on her face. "Then what about the Geth attack? They're doing nothing about that either."

"Eden prime is on the edge of the Terminus system." Kaidan replied, sighing as he remembered the old extranet reports he'd seen about the Council's view on humanity's near explosive expansion. "The Council warned us about colonizing such planets and obviously view the prestige loss of not protecting one of the citadel's member species as better then the danger of pursuing Geth raiders into lawless territory and perhaps sparking an all out war."

"Bet they would have acted if it had been a Turian world..."

"I'm not so sure, _perhaps_." Kaidan shrugged, feeling a bit more relaxed now that he realised Ashley had gone from potentially violent to grouchy. "Then again the Turians might have felt honour-bound to take care of such a matter themselves and not drag the Council into it, fought their own battle."_ Please work, please work_...

"As we will." _Yes_! Ashley grunted at the idea, a fire in her eyes as she glared down at the floor, as if willing the elevator to move faster. Then she looked up at Shepard's back. "Right Commander?"

A muffled grunt and a shrug was all the answer she got.

_Helpful_... Kaidan sighed, the fact that he wasn't sure where he had Shepard making the non-answer all the more frustrating. "Well...we could talk to that citadel security man? Garrus wasn't it?"

"C-sec?" Ashley snorted. "You mean the Council's own little private army? Why would they help us? Not to mention that you're suggesting us going to get a Turian to arrest a Turian hero..._gooood_ luck." Kaidan shot her a glance at that, making the woman blink and look away as she hurriedly added: "Sir."

_Well aren't you blunt_? Kaidan managed a small smile. "Citadel security is a police force, not the Council's army chief, not only that but give Spectre's known disregard for rules and protocol c-sec men aren't all that keen on them...or so I've heard. As for them both being Turians...didn't you hear him near the Council chamber? That was a _furious_ Turian I can tell you...obviously not a fan of Saren's."

"Perhaps." Ashley once again reluctantly agreed, though looked none too pleased as she glared at the floor of the elevator. "But forgive me if I won't hold my breath. Even if we find something I don't think it'll make a difference..."

"We just have to hope the council acts once more telling evidence is brought forth." Kaidan responded with a shrug.

Once again Ashley snorted. "No, we don't."

To his annoyance Kaidan found himself smirking at the response even as he forced his voice to remain neutral as he directed it at Shepard's stoic back. "So Commander, what's next?"

Silence, save the gentle hum of the elevator.

"He said by any means possible." The Commander's voice was cold, yet had a dangerous edge to it, something...predatory.

"Sir?" Ashley exchanged a confused look with Kaidan.

"The ambassador." Michael explained. "He told us to find evidence by _any_ means possible." Finally he turned, only enough for the right side of his head to show, making the scar over his eye look even more jagged as the shadows cast by the lights outside the elevator played over it. His teeth were bared in a grin, a _ferocious_ grin. "So we'll do _just_ that."

Kaidan felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

And next to him Ashley nodded with a grin of her own. "Music to my ears sir..."

8

8

8

The Shadow Broker's information had been good.

As Shepard knew it would be.

Though tall and heavily built he was still dwarfed by the Krogan now towering close to him, large red eyes narrowing at him as the beastly creature looked down at him with a nearly curious smile over its shark-like mouth. "Nice of you to talk the c-sec officers out of arresting me..." The voice of the monster was deep bass and calm as only a confident veteran's could be. "...I would have handled it myself...but let's pretend I now owe you a favour, a favour you'll expend asking me to listen to you I'm guessing."

_Intelligent, observant, heavily armed and a veteran_..._use_ _caution, feign casualness_. "You're clever for an oversized frog." He smirked, watching the teeth of the Krogan be bared in a grin. "The Shadow Broker apparently hired you to take care of a club-owner here, a club-owner who is working for Saren...?"

"That's right." The mercenary rumbled, making Shepard feel as if his name was apt. _Wrex, short, simple, perfect to shout in a fight_... The creature cocked his head to the side, smirking, which on a Krogan made it look as if he was about to bite Shepard's head clean off. Micheal casually laid a hand to rest on his pistol...which Wrex's eyes darted down to with a widening of his smirk. "The Shadow Broker isn't too happy when his agents double-cross him, thinking they can sell their acquired information directly to the buyer instead of to the Shadow Broker..."

"I can imagine the Shadow Broker keeps such things from happening, makes an example of such agents?" Michael asked the question, already knowing the answer as he cocked his head to the side as well, matching Wrex's stance.

"That's right." The Krogan chuckled. "Which is why I'm here after all, to...make an example of Fist." He shrugged, head turning to nod towards the shotgun strapped to the small of his back.

"Yet I take it you have not yet completed your work..." Michael smirked, crossing his arms in front of him as he leant back. _Jump back if he's offended enough to attack, continue prodding if not_.

The mercenary only chuckled however, deep red eyes watching Shepard with a glint of interest. "I will, in time, I'm nothing if not patient when I need to..."

_Push, continue the prodding, he knows where you're going and has yet to disagree with it_. "But patience isn't always needed..." Michael let it hang there for a moment, then spoke again: "Tell me, what is this information Fist is trying to sell?"

"A person rather then information actually." The Krogan replied, a grin forming on his lips, watching Shepard with real interest now, apparently not even noticing how Ashley on Shepard's right was straining to draw her weapon or how Kaidan on his left was shifting from foot to foot, uncomfortable with the events. Michael easily ignored them though, they would only be important if it came to a fight, and both her and the Krogan now knew there would be none. "Some little Quarian got a hold of some information she shouldn't have, and Fist realised he could make a really neat sum selling both her and the information directly to Saren instead of a Shadow Broker already upset with the Spectre..."

"Switching loyalties like that is usually a bad idea." Michael noted, arms unfolding as he took a confident step closer to the Krogan, ignoring the hot breath of the creature's nostrils blowing against him._ Get in his face, no hesitation_. "Seems you and I have common goals, we want that information, which the Shadow Broker is willing to give to us...and you want this Fist issue gone."

"Seems so." The Krogan grinned with a nod. "I've yet to turn back help working without receiving a share of my bounty." A hand three-fingered hand shot out, close to Shepard's chest. "If that's what you're offering?" The grin was almost teasing now, as if finding Shepard's long way into offering cooperation amusing.

_First objective secured_. Michael took the hand, hand closing around the forearm of the Krogan as Wrex squeezed his in turn, keeping his face close to Shepard's...who refused to look away from the large red eyes boring into him. "It is."

"Good." The creature chuckled, a final squeeze and he released Michael's arm and took a step back, looking at Michael with an appreciative look. _Respect gained, potentially useful to assert dominance_. _Deal with that later, focus on secondary objective_.

"Yes, good." Michael nodded, sensing Ashley relax next to him even as Kaidan continued his shifting stance. _Ethical issue with working with mercenaries_? _Keep_ _an_ _eye_ _on_ _him_. He didn't look back though, keeping his gaze focused on the Krogan. "Now, why haven't you killed this Fist yet? Is he that well guarded?"

"Sure, got a lot of firepower for 'genuine' businessman." Wrex grinned, then the grin faded as he shook his head. "But that's not the real issue, he has this door, real citadel stuff but with some high-tech lock added to it." There was no frustration in the voice, only a counting of hurdles needed to be dealt with. _Good_. "No explosive I have access to could even put a dent on that door, and blowing a path through the walls would take too long, c-sec would stop us before we reached him. And the lock's too tough to decrypt for me, I think it's stolen from a c-sec high-security prison actually. Real nice stuff...will be a shame to ruin it."

_Explosives a no go, lock too high-tech to decrypt within a useful time-period_. Shepard nodded, frowning, then glanced over at Kaidan as he remembered what the man had said in the elevator-ride from the Council chamber. _Second_ _objective_..._achievable_. "A c-sec high-security prison you say?"

He looked back at Wrex, finding the Krogan smiling at him, realising he had a plan and probably loving the thought of getting under way as he rumbled: "Yeah, that I said."

"A lock that a c-sec investigator might have both experience and skill enough to handle...?"

Wrex's smile turned into a grin: "Yeah, that would probably do it..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continued assistance._


	6. Chapter 6

The group looked as suspicious as a group hiding in a corner of a club could be.

Flux was a nightclub, for winding down, dance, drink, play a few games...not exactly a 'shady' place, then again Chora's Den wasn't really an option for them to make their plans.

She was drumming her fingers on the table, something Ashley had caught herself doing ever since she entered the place. _At least the music's good_..._huh_..._should come her on my next shore-leave_. Next to her Kaidan sat perfectly still, looking pensive and brooding as hell, two armed and armoured humans to the right of a _third_ carrying enough ammunition and weapons for _two_ soldiers... _Even __I__ don't think this as subtle_...

Things weren't much better on the opposite side of the table in the darkest corner of Flux. Wrex in his blood-red armour was a monster of an alien, making the predatory-like Turian's in his blue c-sec armour look frail and brittle in comparison...and not a little awkward as the Turian's had to shift to the far end of the table with a small sigh and an irritated glance aimed up at the Krogan.

Five people then, armed and armoured to the teeth, hiding in a dark corner while bent over a table with a small holo flickering atop the table... _Not at aaaaall suspicious_...

Though so far none had bothered them, or even cast more then a shy look at them, Ashley's and Wrex alternating glares shot out over the room keeping the nosier types strictly focused on enjoying themselves, turning the group seemingly invisible to the near hundred civilians no more then a dozen feet away.

Since it was Wrex's turn, in fact the Krogan seemed to have stolen Ashley's turn since he was apparently _enjoying_ scowling threateningly at passers-by...Ashley took the opportunity to study the pair of aliens, hoping she wasn't too obvious about it._ Can never know_..._wouldn't_ _want_ _them_ _to_ _get_ _all_ _angry_..._especially_ _not_ _that_ _one_..She smirked..._he could get hurt in a fight_.

Even seated Wrex towered above the others, even more so then usually actually due to the great hump on his back. The red crest atop his head – _or is that __part__ of his head_? _Aliens_... – sported three jagged scars along the right flank going down over the creature's large red eye, much like Shepard's in fact, and just as with Shepard's it made the Krogan look all the more dangerous._ As if a seven foot monster bent on nothing but destruction doesn't look dangerous enough_...

At least his motivation for joining them was easily understood. Ashley didn't particularly _like_ mercenaries and thugs, but they were nothing if not predictable, and as such she'd, only hesitating a moment, placed him in the category of 'momentarily trustworthy'. _Heck he even __looks__ dependable_..._dependable_ _to_ _bite_ _someone's_ _head_ _off for a few credits_ _sure_..._but_ _dependable_ _none_ _the_ _less_.

The other one...she was less sure about. They had found Garrus at the local doctor's in the wards, the Turian's interrogating the poor woman harshly enough to bring her to the point of crying...which he had ignored without a second look back once he had begun to listen to Michael presenting his idea with a growing _glow_ in his grey Turian's eyes...

With Turian'ss so irritatingly tall she had found the c-sec officer a full head taller then her, which thankfully meant he was equal to Shepard's height, and far more lithe of build, not cutting as powerful a figure as humanity's champion. Ashley wasn't sure why but she felt that was _important_... With his grey and tan scales of a face and those tiny but sharp teeth lining his currently smiling mouth the Turian's looked like a dinosaur of some kind..._a raptor, yes, that's it_...and Ashley kept expecting the creature to leap across the table given the way he sat leaning over it. _If he does that __I'm shooting him, c-sec or not_.

It wasn't just how he _looked_ though, though that weird blue face-paint made him look like some sort of Indian out of a western movie... – _Beware the natives_... – but also the fact that he had been so damn _quick_ to join up once Michael showed even a _chance_ of finding evidence of Saren's doings. Ashley didn't know much about Turian'ss...but even _she_ thought it odd that one would be willing to risk his entire career on a mere _chance_, especially to bring one of his _own_ down that hadn't actually done _him_ any harm. _A sleeper agent maybe_? _Maybe one of Saren's, here to infiltrate anyone trying to get to that asshole_? _Though if so couldn't he just have refused to help so that we couldn't get that stupid door open_...? _Maybe he's bidding his time_? _Though that seems a bit too canny_..._and not at all smart_.

If he noticed her suspicious look the Turian's didn't show it, his eyes, one still half-hidden behind that glowing targeting-lens of his, focused solely on Shepard as the Comander mimicked the Turian's's stance in leaning over the table. At least the human had a reason though as he pointed at the glowing map of Chora's Den's layout, his eyes cold as ice as they reflected the green light of the holographic projection hovering a few inches above the table.

"This is Fist's private office, and here we have the door..." He pointed at the squarish room at the farthest back of the spinning little image, while there were no furniture shown on the map Ashley could imagine that the small corridor leading to the security door could be heavily guarded by entrenched men, and since they were supposed to do an _extraction_... She looked at Shepard, hoping his special forces training would be up for it. There was not a hint of worry or hesitation in the man's movement or eyes as he glanced up at Wrex: "You said he already has the Quarian?"

The Krogan nodded, as unfazed by the problem as Michael was. _Then again his objective isn't the Quarian_... "Yeah, they kept her hidden somewhere and then snuck her in as they had the c-sec officers force me away with some false charge about 'disturbing the peace'." A small smirk on the wide mouth. "Heh, they'll _know_ when I'll start disturbing the peace..." _Finally, an alien speaking __my__ language_! Ashley found herself mirroring the smirk.

"Then we need to move quickly." Michael summarized, his eyes darting over to Garrus. "You're sure you can hack the door?"

"Absolutely, five seconds is my best..." The Turian's nodded, mandibles flaring for a moment._ At least he has a pleasant voice, alien as it is, I give him that_. "...to get to Saren I'll do it in four." _Why_! There was no answer in the steady gaze focused on Shepard, only an eagerness Ashley didn't really understand.

"Good." Michael nodded and leant back for a moment, looking around the table with calm eyes. "Now, if anyone has an issue with me being in command..." He eyed Wrex in particular, but the Krogan only shrugged in disinterest. "...or with my plan as I make it out I want to hear it, when we're committed I want no arguments or issues, all will work at a hundred percent commitment. Anyone?"

Silence.

Then, to Ashley's utter amazement, Kaidan spoke up. The man leaning his elbows on the table, his hands clasped in front of him and his forehead wrinkling in a frown. "Actually sir...are you _sure_ about this? This is an attack on a _civilian_ establishment, in the _citadel_ no less."

"That 'civilian' establishment is a front for a dirty criminal." Garrus replied with a snort, eyes moving from Shepard to Kaidan, steadily eyeing the biotic, as if offended.

"In that case why not call c-sec?" Kaidan argued, not backing down, eyes still focused on Shepard as he ignored the Turian's as best he could. "Give them our information?"

"Fist has men in c-sec, he'd be warned instantly and move the girl elsewhere, they would find nothing on him." Garrus protested, a hint of frustration in his voice, apparently baffled by the foolish human's lack of understanding. "Besides, they wouldn't act on tips from the Shadow Broker on principle, it would look as if they took orders from a criminal." A scoff and the Turian's looked away. "Furthermore we're talking about a lone Quarian, c-sec doesn't put much effort into protecting and finding lone trouble-making vagrants..." Kaidan opened his mouth to protest, only for the Turian's to be faster, shooting a glare at the lieutenant. "That's the _truth_, neither of us might like it, but there it is."

"Fair enough...but humanity's position in the citadel's frail enough as it is." Kaidan replied, shooting Garrus an irritated frown, then looked back to Shepard, decisively ignoring the Turian's. _Heh, this is sort of fun_..._didn't know the guy had it in him_. Ashley smirked, watching the events unfold. "Sir, if we are wrong in this we'll have caused untold damage in a civilian facility in the heart of citadel space and done untold damage to alliance's and humanity's reputation, not to mention warned Saren of us not giving up on our pursuit...which will be effectively _ended_ once the Council hears of this."

"And if we _succeed_ we'll be right on Saren's trail!" Garrus snapped with surprising heat. "Potentially get his Spectre status revoked and turn him into a criminal not _only_ in reality but by _law_, a criminal we can bring to justice!"

_I can't believe I'm agreeing with the Turian's_... Ashley kept her mouth shut though, she was a soldier, and knew her place._ Besides, wouldn't know how to say it anyway_.

Kaidan sighed and looked back at the Turian's. "That's a mighty big gamble, acting on mightily weak info. Not to mention illegal."

"Sometimes laws should be pushed aside..." Garrus retorted, making Ashley blink. _Did the c-sec officer just argue for breaking the law_...? The eyes of the Turian's were _intent_, _glaring_ at Kaidan. "...so that their _intent_ might be better followed."

Kaidan glared back, not saying a word, his arms coming to cross over his chest, eyes narrowed at the Turian's...who in turn narrowed his eyes right back at the lieutenant. _Oh_..._this could be fun_!

"If you don't wish to come it's your call." Shepard's calm voice broke the tension, making Kaidan look back at the Commander with a raised eyebrow, though the Turian's continued to glare at the lieutenant for a good moment longer. Michael was looking calmly back at Kaidan though, not looking the least angry about the prospect of a man jumping ship. _Or illegal attack, whatever_. "I can send you on an errand to the ambassador or the like, that way you'll not be involved."

The lieutenant took a deep breath, looked away from the Commander and down on the table before him...then breathed out through his nose as he frowned in irritation. "No sir, I'm not about to abandon ship due to a bad turn, I'll follow your lead."

For a moment they just sat there, Shepard looking at Kaidan who was looking at the table...and then nodding, _once_. "Good, we'll need you." He kept looking at Kaidan, _waiting_...only when the lieutenant offered a short nod did he turn back to the map, finger moving to point at the large and circular room at the map. "Now, the first issue will be entering the main floor...Wrex?"

"Usually more then a dozen guards spread out among the customers, they're not that easy to see save the fact that they're all human with T-shirts, not to forget the pathetic things they call guns." The mercenary snorted, a thick finger reaching out to circle around the large room on the map. "They're patrolling freely among the people though, can be hard to spot right away, but as I said, no armour, if you let them take the first shot and therefore reveal themselves you can kill them with a single bullet."

Shepard nodded, once. "Agreed, what else?"

A small chuckle, Wrex apparently finding something amusing with Michael's swift agreement. "Two Krogan bouncers in simple armour, one by the main door, the other by the door leading to Fist's office, shotguns, they're the danger until we enter the officer, where I'm not sure what we'll face."

"Don't forget the customers and employees." Garrus tapped the table with a clawed finger, mandibles pressed closed to his mouth in an oddly human frown. "Once a fire fight breaks out chaos will ensue, people stampeding for the exit probably, though you never know in the wards...I'd say ensuring they can leave would save us a lot of trouble, not to mention lives."

"Yes, that would be preferable." Kaidan muttered, shooting the Turian's a short and neutral nod, a nod returned in kind. "Sir?"

Shepard looked at the map, eyes slightly glazed over, hands limp on the table, just...staring on the holo. _What is_... "Got it." For a moment she almost thought he had talked into a communication device as the glazed look disappeared, the man eyeing the map with a distinct calm. "Wrex, you have already been in there correct? And they are wary of you?"

"Yeah."

"Then I want you to go in there again, preferably _opposite_ this fire exit." He pointed at a small blue outline in the room. "Scowl at Fist's office, keep them aware and focused on you."

"Easy, and I'll act when the moment's right." The Krogan nodded, looking satisfied and confident. _Not that I can __imagine__ that thing as unsure_...

"Good. Meanwhile I want you, Garrus, to lead the others to where this fire exit leads, I trust you know the back-alleys of the ward's well enough to get them there quietly?" Shepard eyed the Turian's even as Ashley's eyes bulged. _You want us to follow the __Turian's_! _You've just met him and you want to divert half our numbers to be guide by_..._him_!

If Garrus noted her slight splutter he didn't show it, his eyes intent as he met Michael's gaze. "They'll never see us coming, I can _guarantee_ that." Then there was a hint of a uncertainty in the eyes. "But given this is _Fist_...not to mention Chora's Den...I know that door will be locked and _alarmed_, we can't enter without having to fight through a bottleneck..._and_ we'll lose precious moments."

"Yes." Michael nodded evenly, looking not the least bothered. "Therefore I'll infiltrate in civilian clothing and get the door open for you."

"Civilian clothing? As in no armour? Or _guns_?" Ashley blinked, realising she had spoken only when all others turned to look at her._ Damn it, screw protocol, everyone else is doing it_... "Sir, if you and your mission is detected you'll have no way to defend yourself."_ And the alliance wouldn't like their big hero dying to a thug in a strip joint_...

"I'll have a knife." The man shrugged, as if it was a non-issue.

_A __knife_..._wow_..._you're_ _an_ _idiot_. Ashley glared at the man even as he turned to Kaidan as the man voiced another concern. _I swear if you get close to dying while I stand around helpless again I'm going to end you myself_..._I don't need the more guilt_. "Sir, _how_ exactly are you supposed to get the door open? I doubt they will just _let_ you out..."

Again, nothing but a shrug, the Commander calm as a rock. "Trust me, I'll get it open."

_Yep_..._we're_ _being_ _led_ _by_ _an_ _idiot_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her sterling assistance._


	7. Chapter 7

_Thirty minutes_.

Ashley took a deep breath, feeling as if her chest was about to explode, then exhaled through her nose, steadying herself ever so slightly as she for what had to be the dozenth time that minute checked the time on her omni-tool.

_Something must have gone wrong_.

The alleyway they stood in was..._filthy_...as if someone had taken Ashley's baby sister Sarah's room and then covered the few spots without any garbage with spots of oil and grease. Though the walls were still the standard citadel smoothness, showing a grace that even in these depths was present throughout the station...there was still something _worn_ about them...though Ashley couldn't put her finger on _why_. _It's_ _like_..._the_ _entire_ _place_ _is_ _sinking_. She grimaced, shuddering. _Despair_, _it_ _stinks_ _of_ _despair_.

Her eyes looked down to her still glowing omni-tool. _Still thirty minutes_..._Oh 'trust me' my ass...couldn't he at least say what it was he was going to do_? _A timetable perhaps_? _Fucking backup save a Krogan mercenary he __just__ met_! _I_ _don't_ _know_..._something_! '_I'll_ _get_ _it_ _open_'..._idiot_..._what does that even __mean_! _Will he go all heroic and blast it open from the inside by body-tackling a guard through it_! She rolled her eyes even as she tried to imagine it._ Dammit, I actually __can_... Grumbling she suppressed the blush and glared at her feet. _Fucking hero-worship_...

With her back against the wall where further ahead the fire-exit stood, a near two dozen feet away, she had Kaidan just to her right, the man looking over her shoulder as he too waited foor the distant door to open. He had his drawn pistol lowered and helmet off for added visual scope, something Ashley had picked as well...and his brown eyes were firmly set on the distant door, as patient as a...a..._lion_? Ashley nearly groaned. _Well some sort of predator_...

She wished she had the same patience.

A glance down.

_Thirty-one minutes_...

_Are we even by the right door_? She shot a suspicious glare Garrus' way, finding the Turian against the other wall, he too with a pistol lowered but ready. And he too like Kaidan had his eyes set on the door, the pair nearly glowing with eagerness. The Turian was on one knee, nearly hidden in the shadows cast by the wall. _He doesn't __look__ as if he's betraying us_..._but_ _who_ _knows_? _I can't read lizard-faces_...

_If he __is__ we're already too late, and Shepard might be dead_..._if that's the case that Turian's leaving in piece_s.

Squaring her shoulders she brushed the thought aside, it was no use. _Focus_ _soldier_. _No door, no entrance, no show, no nothing_. She checked her assault rifle for the sixth time, once more making sure it was set on single-shot. _So prepare for the __something_... She mentally checked the floor-plan of the club again, trying to picture the movements._ I go first, enter, move right towards the office, spotted, enemy fire, return fire, keep it controlled, use cover when necessary, keep moving_. And Shepard without armour would probably join them...she found her hand drifting to his side-arm that he'd entrusted to her. _That does it, add to plan; keep your armoured hide between him and any baddies, especially the __large__ baddies_.

_Thirty-two minutes_..._I'm going to die of old age here_..._or an ulcer, whichever comes first_.

"How can you stay so damn calm?" She hissed the words at Kaidan even as she refused to look at him, eyes focused on the door. _Open, open_..._open_ _you_ _lousy_ _waste_ _of_ _steel_! "It's been ages, he could be dead for all we know!"

"More resigned then calm." Kaidan muttered, and Ashley sensed him shrugging. "Either we do this and get killed, or we succeed and might end up in jail...or nothing happens and you and I are put before the admirals to explain why we lost and got our Commanding officer killed..."

"Damn lieutenant, when you put it _that_ way..." Ashley rolled her eyes. "...talk about a pep-talker..."

"Sorry."

She snorted, jumping slightly where she stood as she eyed the decidedly closed and locked door with a grimace. "Don't worry, it's just me being worried... " _Can't we get it over with_? _I want to kill something now_... "God...can't we just blow the door open or something?"

"If he's right by the door we'll kill him." Garrus intruded, making Ashley glare at him, not that he noticed, his gaze fixed upon the door. "Not to mention the civilian casualties will be enormous, I believe the idea is to get as few innocent as possible killed..." The alien shrugged, though his eyes remained glowing with that inner determination of his.

"It's the sleaziest part of the wards." Ashley snorted. "And a strip joint doubling as a criminal's hidey-hole." Rolled her eyes. "In the middle of the day." Scoffed. "How many 'innocent' are there _really_ there?"

A small chuckle escaped the Turian._ Great, he thinks I'm being friendly_..._and_ _joking_... "Good point, you set the charges and I'll think of an excuse to give Shepard when he's at the hospital."

"Listen, I'm not trying to be your-"

"Chief." Kaidan interrupted Ashley, making her shoot him a glare, then a thankful look as she realised he was saving her from putting her foot in her mouth._ No good making an enemy of the guy at your back right before a firefight_... "Eyes front." A short nod from him and she whipped her head around to stare at the door as it slid open, the sound of an electronic beat filling the alley all of a sudden.

_Yes_! _Finally_!

And a half-naked Asari strutted out.

_Eh_?

Far too much of the alien's blue skin showed in the tight little leather corset she wore, the flimsy little thing and the tight boots leaving _nothing_ to the imagination...and the wicked glint in her eyes and the slight crook of her lips showed that she was _enjoying_ it. _God_..._kill_ _me_ _now_..._she's_ _a_ _damn_ _embarrassment_ _to_ _the_ _entire_ _woman-kind_. _Damn_ _Asari_ _and_ _their_..._Asari-ways_!

Then Michael followed.

_Okay_...? Ashley arched an eyebrow.

He looked odd without either armour or any sort of uniform on. Instead he was dressed in some sort of worn outfit one would expect of a thug. Dirt brown pants covered in pockets, a tank-top that seemed moulded to his sculpted...Ashley shook her head._ Damn, I need a lay_... Casually slung over one shoulder an orange jacket hung, held by one hand reaching up next to Michael's shoulder, making his massive biceps..._dammit_!

The more eye-catching thing – _well, sort off_ – however was his face though, still the same it lacked something of the coldness she'd expected, nor was it that joking and pleasant look she'd bumped into before. It looked...thuggish actually, a smirk on his lips, a swagger to his walk...if she didn't know better she'd thought him drunk and leering...

"Not the nicest place." He said, even his _voice_ was different, casual. He smirked, eyes roving the body of the Asari as she turned to face him. "Not that I'm looking at it."

_Oh that's the lamest_...

The Asari giggled, the smirk not fading as she, now turned to face him, she leant forward until she was leaning against his chest, a finger coming to land on the tip of his nose, her eyes naughty. "You've already charmed me boy, no need for more sweet-talk."

_You_..._can't_ _be_ _serious_. Ashley stared, baffled.

"There's always room for more." The man mumbled with a grin, head bowing to leer down the Asari's cleavage even as his left hand snaked round her waist and down to...Ashley grimaced, unable to look away. "And I've always said, tip well and you get good service..."

_This_ _is_ _my_ _hero_...?

"Truer words were never spoken..." The Asari replied, voice hushed as she looked past Michael and nodded to someone behind the door, making the thing slide shut with a thump. "Now...service it was..." A coy laugh...and the Asari's hands roved Michael's chest as she begun to crouch...

_Wait, she's not actually going to_...?

Michael's left hand moved to gently grip the crouching Asari's head-fringe as his other moved to his jacket now pressed between him and the wall as he leant back...head tilting backwards and eyes closing.

_Wait, __he's__ actually going to __let__ her_...!

Then everything happened at once.

His head snapped back, eyes opening, icy coldness glaring out.

The Asari yelped, the grip on her head-fringe twisting, _hard_, making her twist her body and head with the wrench in order not to have the fringe ripped off.

The jacket fell to the ground, the hand having held it now holding a jagged knife burnished to a mirror-shine.

And then he was atop the Asari, her right hand stuck under his left knee, her left pinned by his free arm as his right held the knife against her throat, the Asari barely noticing it as she gasped for air due to Michael's right knee resting upon her gut.

"You fucker! You didn't pay for-!"

"Silence." Michael's knife pushed further against the woman's throat...and she _froze_, eyes widening as she realised what the cold thing against her skin was. "The password to the door."

"Wha-"

"Now." Michael relented with the knife, just enough to hold it in front of the Asari's face, the weapon moving lazily from side to side, her wide eyes following it, the woman otherwise a statue. "Give me the password to the door and you can leave."

"I-I don't-"

"To _this_ door." Michael's voice was a growl, the weapon turning until the tip pointed towards the girl's face, a mere inch away, the woman's eyes straining to see it even as droplets of sweat ran from her forehead. "Last chance."

"Fi-finished..." The Asari stuttered, eyes closing as she trembled in fear. "Pa-password's finished..."

"Thank you." A reverse of the weapon...and the handle came down on the Asari's forehead with a crack of flesh meeting ground.

Rising from the unconscious woman Michael turned, icy eyes moving over the assembled team...and Ashley found herself shiver as it moved over her.

"That was..." Garrus hesitated. _Scary_? _Creepy_? _Sleazy_? "...clever." The Turian cocked his head to the side, his grin making him look like a vicious monster as he stepped up to Michael, looking down at the downed dancer.

Michael didn't respond, his hand reaching out as Ashley hesitantly approached. "Gun."

"Sure..Commander." She handed the weapon over, the thing instantly humming as it powered up when Shepard's gripped it, his left hand moving to snap the activation on. Ashley barely noticed, gaze fixed on the unconscious alien. _Well_..._she_ _probably_ _deserved it_..._but_ _still_..._damn_. A shrug and she moved towards the door, sliding her back against the wall to the left of the thing with practised efficiency. _Got to respect good calls though_... She moved to look over at Michael, finding the man with his knife in his left and and gun in right as he simply stepped up to the door to tap the code into the lock centred on the metal sheet.

At the other side of the door Garrus stood, mirroring Ashley's stance with his gun down but ready, back against the wall. A statue for all he moved, eyes burning. Slightly behind him Kaidan stood, he too ready to pounce, a slight purple tinge around him as his biotics flared into readiness. She eyed him carefully, wondering about any lingering hesitation, she found none in those dark pools however. _Good_.

Something muttered under his breath...and the Commander tapped the code.

It slid open, the electronic beat instantly blaring at them as someone just within the door spoke: "Ha! _Already_ done Leena? Did he-"

Before Ashley could move to attack Shepard lunged, his left arm a blur...then a solid line thrust into the entrance, a barely audible crack greeting his movement.

Ashley couldn't help it, she glanced around the corner.

The man standing there blocked most of her view of the place, still had his pistol holstered, and sported eyes wide in surprise as they stared at the hand who had thrust seven inches of steel just underneath his jaw and up into his skull.

A wrench of Michael's arm and the man was pulled off his feet and forward, the Commander sidestepping as he did so and letting the corpse drop face first onto the floor, a stroke of blood across it joining the body as the knife was pulled out of his head. _Damn, that was coo_-

"Move."

And Ashley _moved_, instinct, training, the cold unfeeling order reverberating within her as she jerked into action.

Rifle rising she slipped into the room, eyes darting left and right, trying to take it all in even as she continued to move.

She instantly spotted Wrex, the Krogan just by a table near the opposite end of the room, facing three humans glaring at him, the two on the flanks having their guns drawn as the third was shouting something at the mercenary which was lost in the deafening beat of the music.

The room was large and circular as expected, the centre dominated by a large and round platform upon which half a dozen half-naked Asari danced on, a single male human with a holstered pistol in the middle, more focused on the dancers then the surroundings. Around the central stage a bar tended by more near nude women was amply crowded by men of various species, a motley crew of dirty thugs by the looks of it. Many round tables covered the room, nearly all the chairs around them filled by men as they stared at the women dancing on the tables or into the drinks in their hands.

_I should have brought a flamethrower_...

A man at a table just to her right looked up, grinning, showing his loss of three teeth: "Hey babe." He grinned at her, or rather, her chest. "What's with the prop? Come sit here and enjoy a-" He reached towards her...

And fell as the butt of Ashley's rifle took him in the face, smashing more of his teeth out and sending him tumbling to the floor.

Behind her she heard Garrus chuckle.

Then someone shouted, an angry bark, a lost order carried in it. _Spotted_!

The men confronting Wrex begun to turn...only for the two with drawn pistols to jump away screaming as the head of the one between them flew over the room in a crimson arch, the Krogan's bloodied hand already reaching back for his shotgun-

A thump.

Ashley whirled as her shield flared, her sights finding one of Fist's thugs as the man pushed past a rowdy crowd of customers with his pistol levelled at her. _Idiot_.

She dropped onto one knee and aimed in the same movement, a single squeeze of the trigger...

She had killed Geth, she had fought in simulations, she had even killed a Batarian smuggler once...or rather had been part of a team gunning him down. As such she had killed, as such she _knew_ what it was like.

Or rather, thought she did. All her targets had had shields, and when those failed, armour...this one wore a simple shirt.

The hole in his chest was microscopic, barely visible...as his back exploded. His blood smashed into the rowdy crowd, sending them tumbling away and crying out in confusion, then horror, as the realised what was covering them.

The man fell prone, showing a gaping hole in his back, shredded organs within, torn pieces of bones sticking out like the beams of a sunken ship.

_Ouch_...Ashley didn't know what else to think. _Note to self, get killed while wearing armour_...

Then the room erupted into screams, people finally realising something was amiss as Garrus kicked a table over, sending the dancer atop it sprawling over the floor even as he fired over her prone shape. A man rushing towards them jerked as grey matter, blood and pieces of bone exploded from the back of his skull...then fell atop a table, sending drinks and dancer flying.

Ashley blinked, feeling a sudden sting of fear as the room exploded, men and women rushing for the exit, away from the ones with guns, diving for cover, just _standing_ there screaming... _We could get rushed_! None came at them though, all rushing for the main exit, the single guard standing there crying out, then disappearing behind the crowd, then crying out in pain...before abruptly going silent.

Jumping past her Shepard dived behind a chair, then came up to take aim on a guard standing at the edge of the room...only to hesitate as the man grabbed a hold of a running dancer and held her before him like a shield.

Instead the Commander rolled sideways, under a table as the chair he'd been hiding behind snapped in two under the three shots fired from the hostage taker now taking aim for the soldier, extending himself past the screaming dancer...and then flying back into the wall as Shepard's single retort barked out.

Another thug moved to repeat the cowardly tactic...only for his chosen dancer to whirl about with a growl, a dark hue around the Asari forming...then smashing into the man and sending him flying into a wall, crushing him into pulp. _Glad my shields are up_..._and you go girl_! Not looking back the dancer rushed to join the fleeing.

Chaos.

Ashley ducked, jumped over a chair, fired, ending a guard's life, just fighting on instinct as she struggled to even _spot_ her enemies among the people running amok. _At least __I__ have armour_...

On cue there was a roar, then a boom of a shotgun, making her head snap around in time to see Wrex's shields flare as another Krogan armoured in tan armour rushed at the mercenary, only for it's shields to flare with Wrex's reply, then Wrex's shields died in a flash of light as his opponent's second shot took him in the face. The monster of a bouncer still came charging...and Wrex met it with a charge of his own, the two monsters resembling butting bulls as they pushed and shoved against one another...

Then Wrex's shotgun slammed into the roaring mouth of his opponent.

A boom and the duel was over.

A hissing, coldness at her back making her hairs stand up...and Ashley found an orb of dark blue energy fly past her and slam into the madly shooting thug atop the centre stage, sending him flying into the air with a shriek...a shriek ending abruptly as he smashed into the high ceiling and then mutely fell down onto the main floor. She shot Kaidan a grin. _Nice_...

Then another boom of a shotgun made her whirl about, her assault rifle clipping a thug in the leg even as she searched for the source of the shot, barely aware of Kaidan finishing the foe off.

She found Shepard, not having been forced to dig in as the others, or rather, ignoring the need, rolling sideways as the ground where he had been was torn asunder. A mere six feet away from him, coming out of the corridor leading to Fist's office, another Krogan came running, the levelled shotgun in its claws spitting death once more, and once more hitting nothing but floor as the Commander rolled to the right, the man barely looking at all bothered as he fired back, his pistol doing nothing but making the shield of the Krogan's flare.

A kick of Shepard's foot and a table was knocked over between him and the monster, only for the top of the rolling table to get torn off by a third shot, sending fragments flying, the Commander rolling away, still firing even as a streak of crimson appeared along his arm still clutching his bloodied knife.

_He'll die_...Ashley felt her chest tighten at the realisation – for all his skill and manoeuvring not even Shepard could take on Krogan at close range with nothing but a side-arm and a shirt – then felt her body explode into action. _Hell no_!

She didn't even realise she had switched to full auto as she rushed forth, her assault rifle spitting death at the monster already towering over her, the shots disintegrating against the Krogan's shield in puffs of smoke and flares of blue light. "Ugly! Over here!" A cry and she launched herself over the broken table, the Krogan's shotgun taking her right in the gut in an explosion of failing shields instead of crashing through the table and the Commander ducking behind it.

_Stinging son of a_..._I_ _just_ _healed_ _up_! Growling she closed the distance, assault rifle blazing away, then silencing as she swung the weapon with all her might at the Krogan's head.

Grunting Ashley found her swing bouncing off the Krogan, her arms going numb with the impact even as the chuckling monster swung a massive fist at her...

She ducked...willed her arms to move...and slammed the weapon into the Krogan's mid-section.

Nothing but a chuckle, the Krogan's left leg swinging back...

_Uh oh_...

_Pain_!

She was flying through the air, her gut feeling like one big bruise, the world spinning and-

_Pain_!

A crunch and she fell to the floor, back against the wall she had struck. Blinking she found her vision swimming, her arms curled around her assault rifle, holding onto it like a life-raft. _That_..._ouch_..._fucking tank of a_..._ouch_... Ahead the world was blurry lines and muffled sounds,as if seen through air vibrating with scorching heat.

She shook her head.

And the world slid back into focus.

_Wow_..._thing_ _must_ _have_ _kicked_ _me_ _a_ _good_ _ten_ _feet_. Even as she judged the distance she moved to sit up, ignoring the throbbing pain around her waist and back as she brought her rifle to bear, finding the source of her discomfort stagger back towards Fist's office as an advancing Wrex shot it right in the chest.

A roar of the Krogan, of anger and frustration...and twin orbs of dark light shot out at it, striking the monster in each leg and bringing it to its knees. Kaidan, still glowing with the discharge, and Shepard, looking as calm as if on a firing range, stood shoulder to shoulder as they fired round after round at the Krogan now twitching with the impacts. Just behind the Garrus stood, he too firing away, smirking.

_Kicking is rude you son of a_...Baring her teeth Ashley fired, the burst striking the creature across the crest where her rifle had bounced off before, this time the crest was suddenly covered by orange blood.

A growl and the struggling creature moved to aim his weapon up...then jerked, twisted...and fell face first to the floor.

A small laugh escaped Ashley, making her wince as her bruised body protested. _Got you you disgusting big pile of_-

"Williams." She looked up, finding Kaidan moving towards her with a concerned look on his face, it had been Shepard talking though, the man already moving towards the office as Garrus was rushing towards it. "Are you injured?"

_Bah, sisters have done worse to me_... "N-no sir." She winced, clutching her abdomen even as she with some reluctance accepted Kaidan's arm to hoist her to her feet. She glared at the Commander's back even as she angrily wrenched her arm free from Kaidan's grip. "Fit for duty."

"Then get over here."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her inexhaustible helpfulness._


	8. Chapter 8

Tali was afraid.

They had taken her gun, it had been the first thing that had happened when she'd entered the room, they hadn't even explained it, just ignored her question as one of Fist's men handed the weapon over to the human that was supposed to get her in touch with the Shadow Broker.

And there something..._wrong_.

Six people were in the room with her, none of which could be the Shadow Broker. Of course Tali didn't know how the Shadow Broker looked, or even what _species_ he was...but as any Quarian Tali knew how to read body-language, and _none_ of the ones before her carried themselves with the distinction of such a powerful person.

The office was larger then even a Quarian admiral's quarter. _Then again aliens love their space_..._I don't get it_. Standing a few feet from the decidedly locked door to her left Tali had a good view of the office before her.

A small round table was at it's centre, surrounded from three sides by a circular shaped couch upon which two humans sat, both with their legs propped up on the table and their arms resting on the backrest of the couch as they lazily eyed her, pistols tucked into their belts. Tali had even less experience with humans then with other races, and add the fact that the Flotilla had little information on the race...and she wasn't sure what to make of them. _Are they always arrogant, or is it just these two_?

At the other end of the room the third human in the room stood, sitting behind a large desk of..._Wood they called it_?...he looked completely at ease as he rested folded hands upon the table and looked her over with an unreadable face. His body spoke plainly though, Fist _knew_ he was in control, he was anticipating _gain_, and he was _dangerous_. _Why__ did I trust him_!

_Had no more options, no more choices, was too much in a hurry_... The answers did nothing to calm her down, they didn't help.

The other three were Turians. Two of them flanking the door, looking alert as they stood in near military fashion, hands resting on the guns in their holsters, one of them holding hers...miles away. They had no markings on their faces, wore armour...and looked uncaring, dim guards just doing their job, without sympathy or emotion.

Tali swallowed.

The third was behind her, _prowling_. Walking left and right behind her, agitated, eager, violence _barely_ contained. Shuddering Tali forced herself to stand straight to conceal her growing fear about to make her tremble, instead she _made_ herself confident. _Remember your training, outside the Flotilla many want to take advantage of you, a tough attitude can make all the difference_... "Where's the Shadow Broker? You told me he would be here to bring me somewhere safe. _That_ was the deal."

"You don't feel safe yet?" Fist smiled from behind the desk as he held out his hands to the side. _Arrogant_. "_I_ feel safe here, locked door, armed guards, don't you worry your pretty little head." _Rightfully so_... Tali found herself glancing towards the door. _Heavy security door with resonance type lock_..._will_ _take_ _me_ _some_ _time_ _to_ _hack_ _it_..._I_ _won't_ _get_ _a_ _second_...

_I_...She heard the Turian growl at her back. ..._I_ _don't_ _want_ _to_..._die_...

"Pretty?" One of the men sitting on the couch chuckled. "How can you tell with that bucket on her head?"

"Yeah, let's take it off." The other suggested with a smirk, one hand coming to rest upon the grip of his pistol as he eyed her like a piece of meat, almost making her take a step back at the horrible idea of the mask slipping off and... _He's only half joking_... She shuddered.

Fist shook his head, his movement...casual. "Boys, boys, please, we're trying to be polite here, there's no need to threaten our guest, we only have some questions for her..." He looked at her, wickedness in his stance...then to the prowling man behind her. "Isn't that right, friend?"

"This is a waste of time." The Turian snapped, coming to a stop, a clawed hand landing upon Tali's shoulder, making her reveal herself by flinching, the grip didn't release though, only dug into her suit... _I_..._this_ _wasn't_ _how_ _it_ _was_ _supposed_ _to_ _be_... "She has the information, why are we still waiting?"

"Because, friend, she might have made a backup and hidden it somewhere else..." Fist cocked his head to the side, smiling at Tali. "Isn't that right little one?"

"Yes, I have." Tali snapped, shrugging the clawed hand off with as much courage as she could muster. "With a VI hooked into it, ready to send the information to the news if I don't deactivate it within the next twenty-four hours." _I might have been too hurried in placing my trust in you, but I'm __not__ stupid, if you think you'll kill me and get away scot free_...

The hiss of anger behind her made her shudder, the Turian behind her resuming his hateful prowling. "Saren will _not_ like this..."

_Saren_! Tali shivered, Saren was the name the Geth she'd disabled had given to the Turian in her recording... which meant _this_ man... _Keelah_..._I_..._I w-won't su-survive this_...

She'd been shocked to find Geth outside the Veil, shocked enough to destroy one and rifle through its memories...to understand. The recording had meant little to her and she'd simply asked an information broker if it was of any value...a Quarian on pilgrimage needed all the credits she could get after all.

Then the Geth had come after her, everywhere she went they had come in dropships and smuggled aboard stations within the Terminus system, hunting her with a passion the emotionless machines _couldn't_ be capable of. Even when she had entered Citadel space the attacks had continued, but now by mercenaries and assassins...forcing her to run, to flee, hoping that she at least at the _Citadel_ could find some safety...only to find out differently. The Shadow Broker had been her final hope...and now the reaching for that hope had neatly put her in a trap...

Her hands found one another, nervously fiddling with one another before her lap. _Ancestors, protect me, in this final hour please let the end be swift and painless, let me join you and forever_-

"Calm down." Fist shrugged. _Still_ _at ease_... "She said twenty-four hours." Then he smiled, hands coming together. _Dangerous_... "And twenty-four hours is a _long_ time..."

_Keelah_...

Tali's throat went dry. _Still have the knife in my boot, omni-tool integrated into my suit_..._no __offensive weapons really_..._could make a rush for the men at the door, or the ones on the couch, make them shoot_...she swallowed.

_Keelah_...

"I don't want to spend more time then necessary here, I have other things to do." The Turian snorted, a hand coming over Tali's shoulder...then snaking around her neck. "Lets just rip that omni-tool out of her and try to find where she stashed the copy!" Tali yelped, then found a muffled cough escape her as the wiry arm squeezed into her throat. "Oh shut up you filthy little Quarian!" The growl was near, in her ear, as the anger of the Turian was released upon her.

Tali couldn't reply, her head swimming as the near two heads taller Turian lifted her off the floor, lightning shooting down her spine as her neck begun to stretch...

_I_..._don't_...

"Don't be stupid, let's do this properly." Fist shook his head and waved dismissively at the Turian, whose grip lessened, but only enough to drop Tali back to the floor.

She coughed, gasped, a hand moving to rub the soreness, only to be stopped as the Turian's free hand closed around her wrist and – _Pain_! – wrenched her arm behind her back.

She gasped, her suit beeping a warning of damage to ligaments she couldn't quite concentrate on as she clenched her teeth shut, stopping the sob from escaping her lips. _I don't want to die_..._please_..._I_ _just_-

Then she realised something had changed in the room, the atmosphere becoming tense as heads were turned and hands drifted towards weapons.

Screams? Gunfire? The sounds were hazy to Tali as her head swam with fear, pain and shock...

_What is_ – she turned her head towards the door, only to find it suddenly slide open – _going_ _on_?

The Turian to the right of the door jerked, dark blue blood splattering the floor as his left leg was ripped open, from a close ranged shot from a massive Krogan, the creature instantly swinging his smoking gun into the face of the staggering guard, the blow greeted with a crack...and the guard slumped to the floor.

Next to him the other guard fared no better. Dark blue energy suddenly formed around him, sent him hurtling through the door, past a still glowing human in dark armour...and then face first into a swinging rifle of a female human. A crunch and he fell on his back...before twitching and jerking as the human poured bullets into his torso, the man screamed as he couldn't roll away, the boot pressing against his head keeping him pinned to the floor even as the screams turned to gurgles.

The men on the couch flew to the feet, pistols firing, one twitching as a Turian in c-sec uniform charged forth with a blazing pistol.

And then Tali's vision swam, her body feeling weightless as she was suddenly spun around and hurled to the floor, cracking the back of her head in the floor. Above her the Turian growled, body shaking with a hatred near madness as he brought his pistol to bear...

_No_!

Tali's hand moved on instinct, her suit instantly recognising and enacting her command, the powerful code and even more powerful VI establishing the connection to the Turian's pistol with the speed of light, needing barely a microsecond to override the simple computer within the weapon.

With a click the gun refused to fire, its computer thinking the weapon overheated and ordering a temporary shut-down.

There was an awkward move of the Turian to look at the pistol, the surprise on his face clear to even Tali..then a growl as his other hand reached down to painfully dig into Tali's outstretched wrist, the other pulling his pistol back for a swing...

"Stay away!" She felt _hope_, a fitful, tiny _mote_ of hope...and _leapt_ at it. Her free hand darted down, finding the knife in her boot, swinging it up as she drew it...

Blue blood sprayed over her visor.

A howl and the Turian jumped back, his hand releasing her wrist as the other dropped his pistol and instead clutched at the deep wound in his forearm. Bent forward he then growled, head snapping around to glare at her, the movement of a mad Varren, a Varren intent on goring her and-

A crash and the Turian was sent flying, a large shadow coming over Tali as she moved to wipe the blood of her visor. _The_ _Kroga_-? She blinked.

_Wow_...

The man above her was _huge_, almost looking as big as a Krogan to her wide eyes, human...yet _not_. A pistol was in his right hand, a bloodied knife in his left, dressed in simple clothing more fitting for a smuggler in the Terminus systems then for an armed assault...and obviously completely oblivious to the blood dripping from the wound down his left arm.

Even in the crouched fighting stance he held over her he was angling his body slightly, blocking sight of the fighting in the rest of the fighting...blocking any shots that could come _her_ way... He did it on purpose, though it hardly showed as his eyes were _fixed_ on the Turian jumping to his feet, his entire _body_ fixed on fighting that one opponent, to keep him away from..._her_.

_Wow_...

A mad growl and the Turian leapt...

The man barely moved, _refusing_ to move himself from being between _her_ and the _gunfight_ at his unarmoured back. No hesitation, no fear, ready to give _all_...just like that...for a _stranger_.

_Wow_...

He thrust his knife out, catching a swinging arm right beneath the fist, spearing the howling Turian's right wrist, his thrusting blade moved towards the ceiling, making the Turian straighten...and then there was a bark as the man's pistol shot the Turian in the leg.

_Wow_...

A thump and the bleeding alien fell to the floor, rolling around in his own blood as he growled in impotent rage and pain.

Silence.

The man stood still, a statue, the pistol and knife both still aimed at the wounded Turian, his back still keeping Tali safe from the now ended gunfight.

_Wow_...

A short little turn of his head and the man glanced over at the rest of the room, nodded, and moved forward, revealing three dead humans with their blood sprayed across the walls and furniture as two other humans, a Turian and a Krogan stood amongst them, the woman among them muttering something to the Krogan as she prodded Fist with her foot, eliciting a chuckle out of the Krogan.

Tali's eyes followed the man though, only now realising he was, in fact, 'only' as tall as a Turian, _not_ the size of Krogan... Yet he still seemed like a giant as he came to sit down upon the wounded Turian,one leg on each side of the wounded creature as he put his gun aside – surprisingly careful for one who so easily risked himself just moments ago – and grabbed a hold of the Turian's collar. "Are you working for Saren?"

As a Quarian Tali wasn't good with faces, but she _did_ know voices, and this one was _cold_...yet held a tint of...not quite desperation, but a nearly hidden _need_...

She sat up, everything feeling...surreal...as she stared at the human holding the Turian at knife-point. His stance was sharp, _perfect_ in a way...each leg and arm precise and economic in their movement...and now stance. Machine-like...like a Geth...yet _light-years_ away...

_Wow_...

"G-go to hell." The Turian coughed, jerking against the man...who lifted his knife away from the Turian's throat by an inch, no more, no less. "I wo-won't..."

"You are coming with me." Decisive, calm, and _punishing_ the Turian that had hurt her...

_Wow_...

"Ha! I...I..." The Turian jerked, _hard_, his back arching as his eyes widened, white froth flowing from his mouth. A gasping for air, a twist of his head...blue blood seeping the corners of his eyes, eyes widening in panic...and then going dim as the Turian went still. _Good riddance_...

"Poison." The man stated, a near imperceptible shrug...and he picked his gun up and smoothly rose to his feet.

Silence, the man just standing there, his back to her.

Then he holstered his gun, the knife slipping into his belt...and turned.

It was something _different_ with the man turning to look at her, though _what_ she couldn't quite understand. The voice was clearly different though, yet _not_. The cold harshness was gone, replaced by a _worry_, but just as with the coldness this voice too held an undercurrent of _need_..._driving_ the voice. "Are you okay? He didn't injure you did he?"

_Wow_...

Tali's mouth worked, she didn't know quite why, as she stared up at the giant that now smoothly moved towards her. His moves precise and economic like a machine's, yet with a hint of _eagerness_, an undercurrent of _decisiveness_...

_Wow_...

He slipped down on one knee next to her, his hands precise as they moved to her arm, helping her to sit up more properly as blue eyes met hers through her visor, seemingly pushing through it, growing..._filling_ her vision... "You might be suffering from shock, can you talk?"

And Tali realised why her mouth had been working.

Blushing she thanked the ancestors for the visor obscuring her face even as she forced herself to speak: "I-I...y-yes...I mean no...I'm fine...suit's f-fine...I..." She struggled for words, finding none.

"Are you sure? I saw you defend yourself well, despite your disadvantage, but I didn't see what he did before the door opened." The man cocked his head to the side, a _need_ to _know_ dominating every facet of his movements as he looked her up and down...making sure she was unharmed as if it was the only thing that mattered in the galaxy.

And Tali too had a need to know: "W-who are y-you?"

The eyes moved once more to meet hers...and Tali found her chest tightening. "I'm Commander Shepard, I'm here to help you."

_Wow_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for suffering through this one. ;-)_


	9. Chapter 9

It was overwhelming.

Nervously playing with her fingers Tali's head kept turning left and right to look at everything and everyone, feeling decidedly out of place among the aliens and their large room that was for...in fact Tali couldn't quite figure it out. _Intellectually_ she knew it was an embassy, but to _her_ the big area cleared for some desks and computers that mostly weren't even _on_ seemed like a big waste of space and efficiency.

There were other baffling things about the room too, like one of the long sides of it only having a wall the height of her chest, opening a windowless space through which one could look over the Presidium...a Presidium that was nothing but glittering archways over sparkling water and fields of grass. _So_ _much_ _space_..._and_ _it's_ _all_ _so_..._so_..._clean_... For a moment she felt a jab of bitterness, remembering the cramped spaces aboard the Flotilla, the way they were constantly fighting rust and wear from tearing their living spaces apart...and suppressed it with a grimace. _It's old history, you can't change it_...

At least with such a big room as the one they were in there was no crowding, the ones having accompanied Shepard standing to the side to observe as the man stood next to Tali while facing the two dark-skinned humans Tali hadn't seen before._ Are most humans that colour_? _Or_ _just_ _the_ _ones_ _in_ _high_ _rank_? _Would_ _it_ _be_ _rude_ _to_ _ask_? _I_ _shouldn't_ _ask_..._though_..._no_..._stop_ _thinking_...

To distract herself from such thoughts, not to mention the shouting of the dark-skinned one in a suit aimed at Shepard – _a wonder how much one can insult another without resorting to a single curse word_ – Tali instead shyly eyed the silent companions to the side.

The female human – despite not knowing much of humans Tali couldn't doubt the femaleness. H_ow do they even walk around like that_...? _Seems_..._bulky_. – was glowering at the shouting male, arms crossed over the to Tali's eyes gargantuan chest. Her stance was angry, an undercurrent or aggressiveness beneath it, of pride.

The male soldier one on the other hand...there was something..._noble_ in the way he held himself, perhaps a bit weary...but with intelligence enough to push such feelings aside. To Tali's surprise the Turian next to him had a _similar_ way of standing...only more..._defiant_? Oddly enough neither seemed to notice the similarity, both in fact standing as if they didn't much care for one another.

The Krogan – Tali wasn't actually sure why he was still around, given that he'd said something about having finished his contract – was oddly enough projecting intelligence, _if_ hidden under a brooding and calm façade, further polished by a natural inclination for violence, held tightly in check by discipline.

_Shepard_ on the other hand...he was _still_ calm, _still_ decisive, _still_ driven by that undefined need. He was standing slightly ahead of her and close, as if shielding her from the other two humans...for all she knew he just might be doing that. Now calmer she didn't fool herself he was doing it _for_ her though, more for his own needs...she couldn't blame him, even if it was a little disappointing. _At_ _least he's not a giant any more_..._sort_ _of_...she glanced up at him, feeling tiny.

Ever since she had left the Flotilla Tali had been forced to get used to the idea of always looking up at those she encountered. _Save the Volus, but they never want to talk to Quarians anyway_..._wonder why_... Turian's and Krogan in particular were a neck-stretching enterprise... And Shepard was as tall as a Turian – a full two heads taller then Tali – but not as lithe, nearly as bulky as a Krogan across the shoulders in fact...and making Tali all the more painfully aware of her slight frame.

Such thoughts instantly went out the window however when the man in the suit snapped: "And _what's_ that? A _Quarian_? Have you made a habit on collecting aliens as well as causing havoc Shepard?"

_That_ man held himself as one of importance, if a bit too _much_, a bit too _arrogant_, a bit too..._harsh_, and as his tone implied...a bit too _rude_. "My _name_ is Tali, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya." She didn't like him. "And I'm standing right here." _Bosh'tet_... She assumed a haughty pose, easily done from her many tousles with other Quarian engineers confronting the 'great admiral's spoiled daughter'...and snorted. "Nor am I something to _collect_."

The female human shifted her stance a little, showing a hint of..._amusement_? _I can't read aliens well enough yet_...

The other dark-skinned human, this one dressed in some kind of dark blue uniform rather then simple clothes like the other, stepped forth, conciliatory in his stance, the near shaven skull glittering in the lamplight. Like the first he held himself as one of importance, but underneath it Tali could see something tired and stoic, _nothing_ else. "I apologise on ambassador Udina's behalf, we've all been under a lot of stress lately miss Rayya." The other man snorted, arms crossed over his chest, disagreeing. "We are just worried if this shooting in the citadel was worth it, and so far Shepard hasn't been forthcoming about that."

"Well if you'd give him a word in edgewise-" Tali felt a hand on her wrist, realising she had been pointing her long index-finger towards the two humans, having for the moment forgotten she wasn't arguing with the usual Quarian engineers or aliens accosting her during her pilgrimage...and in fact was raising her voice at men close to a Quarian _admiral_ in rank. _Oh_...she swallowed, then realised that Shepard was the one pushing her wrist down...and swallowed again. _Ohhh_...

Before she had time to apologise however Shepard...shooting her a smirk, genuine amusement in his stance...spoke: "Thank you, but I don't need defending." He turned back to the other two, stance as calm as ever. "You yourself said I should proceed to procure evidence against Saren by any means necessary ambassador."

"Yes, but you haven't-"

"And here she is." Shepard took a step to the side, gesturing towards Tali. He looked at her, stance demanding action. "Tali? If you please?"

"Sure." Instantly raising her left arm Tali activated her omni-tool, the three digits on her right hand darting across the glowing menu to find the information she had hidden behind half a dozen firewalls and passwords. "I found this out in the Terminus systems, took it from a Geth-"

"A geth?" The male soldier and Turian voiced at the same time, looking at her with sudden interest. The human was the one who continued to speak though, his voice rough: "How did you _do_ that? The Geth on Eden Prime seemed to perform some sort of self-destruct to their insides once they were down."

Tali couldn't help but let some pride seep into her voice as she replied: "If one is quick enough you can temporarily stop them from doing just that, it's all about stopping basic processes with intrusive junk code...and hacking _is_ my speciality." She shrugged, forcing the boasting aside. _They're not rival engineers_... "Besides, my people _made_ the Geth, we...understand them in a way..."_ Hate them, but understand_...

"So how did you end up here?" Shepard asked, that need in his stance more perceivable."It's a long way from the Terminus systems..."

"Had to flee." Tali shrugged, frowning as she turned her attention back to the omni-tool. _Was_ _the_ _password_..._nedas_ _wasn't_ _it_? _I hate new passwords_..._never_ _remember_ _them_... "Had entire platoons of Geth after me after I got a hold of this information, even in Citadel space there was literally _armies_ of mercenaries waiting for me..." She shrugged again, suppressing the sudden jolt of anger at her words. "...and here in the citadel...well I dropped my guard...embarrassing really."

A grunt, the Krogan shifting where he stood. "Impressive."

"Getting caught?" Tali snorted. "Or the part where I spent _weeks_ hiding in crates, sneaking onto ships and cowering away in filthy dark corners?" _Ugh_..._good that I have such faith in the environmental suit keeping me safe or I would have gone crazy with fear over an infection_...

"You can't always fight your way out." The mercenary growled with a shrug, earning a surprised chuckle out of the female human as she glanced over at the Krogan. "So yes, impressive."

Tali looked away, she hadn't thought it all that impressive, it was just...surviving really, what she'd been _trained_ to do before going on her pilgrimage. Sure she had been forced to stretch her abilities, improvising where her training hadn't covered things...performed better then any in her year could have been expected to, as _always_...but such things were _expected_ of her given her parentage. And if something was _expected_ it couldn't well be _impressive_...could it? "Umm...sure...hold on...there...got the recording for you." She looked up, finding Shepard's eyes as she hesitated. "Erm...I know I can't make any demands after saving me, but since I'm giving you this could you...well...Saren might still be after-"

"We'll keep you safe." The dark-skinned man in the uniform interrupted, then looked to Shepard. "Isn't that right Michael?" _Michael_..._so_ _that's_ _his_ _first_ _name_..._Michael_... Tali shook herself. _Damn, still in a bit of shock over that rescue, pull it together_...

"Yes sir, no question about it." Michael nodded, once, something in his stance...shifting. _As if accepting new parameters_...Tali frowned at that. _Why is he acting like a machine at times_...? "So, what do you have?"

Tali's finger, having hovered over the omni-tool darted to 'play'.

The image appearing hovered over the omni-tool, the size of a head. Most of it was just blackness, blackness slightly illuminated from below by a pale blue light, throwing the grey – almost metallic – face of a Turian in sharp relief. A synthetic voice – Tali's omni-tools VI translating the Geth's 'thinking' into words – called out: "Saren Arterius, identify...the prophet."

"Prophet?" The uniformed human echoed, shifting into a stance of confusion.

None had time to say anything though, Tali herself didn't know why the Geth would see the Turian as 'prophet', as the recording continued with the Turian speaking: "We will hit Eden Prime within the week, I want no witnesses, destroy everything once we've acquired the beacon."

"That's it! That's what we _need_!" The uniformed human called out, stance shifting into eagerness, into a near _obsession_. "When the council sees this they _have_ to revoke his Spectre status!" To the side the others shifted too, the Turian and female human in particular looking eager and ready to pounce.

"And the Reapers?" Another voice, the Geth turning its vision to another face, this one a old-looking Asari. "We have to find the conduit, soon."

"Who's the broad?" The female human asked out of the blue, frowning at the face, stance saying she was anything but impressed. "And a conduit you can buy in most stores..." She blinked, stiffening where she stood as she looked at the others, movement embarrassed all of a sudden. "Erm...sorry...sir."

"Wait..." Tali tapped the controls on the omni-tool...and the synthetic voice of her suit called out again: "Matriarch Benezia T'Soni, second in command...irrelevant."

A small snort escaped the human female. "Heh, that Geth and I think alike..."

The male soldier shrugged, shooting the woman a look. His stance was helpful...yet carefully scornful. "She said _the_ conduit, not _a_ conduit."

The exasperation was clear in the woman's stance as she with rolling eyes retorted. "I _know_ that...jeez...lighten up...ahem...sir."

All looked at the two bickering humans, many looking a bit irritated with the interruption. Tali was one of them...though her focus was mainly on Michael as the man stood with a bowed head, thoughtful..._confounded_? "_Reapers_..." The name was but a whisper, confused, as if he was tasting it.

A tiny shadow of a shudder ran through the man.

Then he straightened and turned back to Tali, calm and decisive once more, tone official: "Thank you Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, the alliance will of course protect you for what you've done for us, we will bring Saren to justice and you'll be safe once more." No doubts, no worries, _fact_.

"Actually..." Tali's voice stopped the man in his tracks as he moved to face the two dark-skinned men looking eager and ready to go already, now all heads turned towards her again though, making her feel small and silly. "...I...wouldn't mind coming along if that's...possible."

Silence.

The humans exchanging unreadable looks.

Then Shepard speaking up, head cocked to the side, stance thoughtful, yet not ready to reject her just yet... "Why would you want to do that? If we go after Saren we will likely go into battle-zones and risk life and limb to bring him in, not exactly safe."

"I'm not even safe in the heart of the citadel...by that logic removing the source of the danger as soon as possible would be best." Tali replied, then found her hands moving, fingers intertwining as she muttered: " Besides, I'm out here to prove my worth and value to my people...a people that _created_ the Geth...what would it say about me if I hid away when I had a chance to stop them from making more people suffer from their depredations?" _Father would never look at me again_... "No, the Geth _must_ be fought, and I'm _not_ about to stand to the side and let _others_ steal that _responsibility_ from me!"

With a blink Tali realised she had raised her voice at the end, her face flushing as she found the others still staring at her, the Krogan grinning like an idiot, Shepard's stance looking..._quietly impressed_.

The blush got worse.

"Okay, nice, but we're actually out there _fighting_ girl..." The female human spoke up, a _challenge_ in her stance. "And you look a bit on the frail side for that."

"Says the human." The Krogan scoffed, shooting the glaring female a smirk.

"You think I took down that Geth with words?" Tali snorted, straightening even as her omni-tool glowed, her finger darting to point to where one of the embassies security droids stood in an alcove, powered down and almost a part of the décor by the looks of it. Probably not even _seen_ by most non-Quarians who weren't so painfully aware of every droid in society... "I can shoot, I can fight, I can stop your gun, ruin your shields, turn Geth and other machines to my allies..."

There was no hesitation in the marine, only arms crossing over that obscene chest, _unimpressed_...though slightly curious. "I'm _shaking_...wait...what was that last thing?"

"Hostile detected." Everyone jumped at the electronic voice as the security droid stepped out of the alcove, pistol raised and humming into activation. "Lethal force auth-"

A snap of Tali's fingers...and the droid powered down, head leaning forward...and then the entire thing fell to the floor with a crash.

Silence.

The others staring at the machine, then her, then back to the machine.

_Heh_ – Tali crossed her arms in front of her, regarding the stunned looking human female – _how's __that__ for frail_?

A small chuckle, Shepard shrugging, stance amused. "What can I say after seeing that? You're in."

"G-good." Tali nodded, then nodded again, shifting where she stood as she looked up at the massive and armoured marine covered in weapons looking down at her. Her fingers finding one another, nervously fiddling.

_Keelah_..._I hope I made the right decision_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for as ever seeing to that I don't screw up._


	10. Chapter 10

Silence.

The vast Council chamber had before struck him as a hive of activity, grand speeches and the air of tedious administration.

_Now_ however...everything was still, quiet...almost..._serene_.

_Like a cathedral_.

He shook the thought aside, spirituality was something to hide away in your heart, a sliver of hope to drive you, _never_ to distract you.

Instead he focused upon his surroundings, on those beside him, noting their tension with an internal nod of understanding. _Information given, awaiting Council decision, decision determining chances of pursuing Saren_..._tension justified given Council's previous reluctance_. He himself felt..._something_...he pushed it aside. _Not important_.

The stands on the second level partly surrounding the round Council chamber were _packed_ with administrators and people waiting to be heard by the Council...not to mention the odd reporter and political activist, the former now with hands hovering over electronic writing pads as they stared at the Council in breathless anticipation.

By the looks of especially the Turian councillor the Council wished for nothing more than that they had held the proceedings in a closed session. The Salarian was harder to judge, looking a bit restless, as if already having come to a decision and waiting for the others to catch up. As to the Asari...the matriarch was frowning and looking down through the window between them and the platform they stood on, as if the small garden beneath held the answer to their problem.

Someone coughed.

Then silence.

To his right Udina stood, the politician a shark in a deep pool by all accounts...and eyes nearly aglow with eagerness, a hint of teeth showing underneath his smile as he looked up at the Council. _Useful, as long as one can keep him pleased, which might prove difficult in the long run, and he's untrustworthy_._ Still, potential resource, shared objective_. _Will support us if we succeed now, if not he might cut his losses_.

To his left Anderson stood, the man too having a hint of eagerness in his eyes, his dress uniform slightly askew from the way he shifted when he was agitated. Noticing his look Anderson glanced back and nodded shortly, eyes warming just a bit. _Mentor, less useful at the moment, but advice always good, has strong clout within the alliance, which is good if we succeed now, if not it will amount to nothing_. _Support is unwavering, will aid me until death, views me as the son he never had_..._which is undeserved, but useful_. Shepard nodded back.

Then the Turian councillor shifted where he stood, a hand coming back to scratch his scaly head-fringe as his mandibles clacked against his cheeks in something close to exasperation. "This evidence is irrefutable."

"Irrefutable." The Salarian and Asari echoed, the blue one nodding, the insectoid craning his head to look at the others, waiting.

A pause, then the Asari too turned her head, looking to the Turian.

"I..." This time a sigh escaped the Turian. "...move for Saren Arterius to be stripped of his rank of Spectre, further, that he will be considered an enemy of the Council and all citadel races and nations."

A flash of a camera, a curious mutter moving along the spectator stands as the words sank in.

"Agreed." The Salarian nodded, three deft fingers already moving over the small computer console standing before him.

"Agreed." The Asari echoed, hand coming down solidly upon her own console.

Silence, then the mutter resumed on the stances as everyone watched the Turian councillor...whose hand was hovering over the console, yet unable to come down just yet.

_Unsurprising_. Michael had read what little data there was about Saren. He was considered one of the Council's finest Spectres, and while details didn't exist there was still enough speculations and stories for the Turian people to consider him a hero._ Declaring him an enemy of the state will hurt him at home, refusing it will hurt him internationally, right or wrong secondary concern_.

A slump of his shoulders...and the Turian's clawed fingers tapped his console thee times...

A small hum, almost like a choir high above...and it was done.

The mutter on the stands died out, though Michael could sense people turning glances at one another, unsure what it would all mean. He himself only nodded. _Objective achieved, Saren a criminal, pursuit's the next objective_. _What resources they'll give the Alliance for such an effort_? _Or_ _will_ _it_ _be_ _a_ _joint effort_?

Silence was the only answer.

"That's _all_?" Udina growled, the smile of the ambassador dying, his glare withering as he eyed the three councillors. "We need more then that. We need him pursued and punished!"

"He is an exile now, without Spectre resources, authority, he can't even _enter_ citadel space. He is no longer a danger." The Turian growled back with a dismissive gesture.

_Reapers_... The name clung to Michael, like a small metal barb in his brain, insistent and _cold_...making him shudder. "Incorrect sir." Michael straightened, keeping his tone calm and without judgement under the narrowed eyes of the councillor. _Speak respectfully, give him room to manoeuvre_. "The man you just removed from his position still holds great power, the command of the Geth and the great ship we saw on Eden Prime...not to mention being on a quest implying more destruction. Sir, with your leave the Alliance will gladly take on the responsibility of hunting him down."

The eyes of the Turian narrowed even further. _Failure_, _regroup_. "I _bet_ you'd like-"

"Councillor." The Asari broke in, a quick hand landing on the hand of the Turian, a hand Michael now noted was digging into his console. _Emotional on the issue, reasoning will be difficult with him_. He let his eyes move over to the Asari, finding her calm exterior more to his liking. _Moderating, can aid us in a compromise_. "We _understand_ the Alliance's position, but the Council _cannot_ risk dragging the citadel into a battle with the Terminus systems due to _one_ rogue person, whatever he might have been before."

"Neither can the Council let one of their member races be attacked and then let the criminal get away with it!" Udina growled, the anger boiling in his voice. "It will only show the Terminus Systems that they can get away with anything."

"The Alliance _was_ made aware of that the Council could take no responsibility of what happened when settling colonies so close to the Terminus systems _ambassador_." The Turian snorted.

"Further, this is not a government or organisation within the Terminus system attacking." The Salarian jumped in, head cocked to the side. "This is a single _individual_ commanding machines, and by stripping him of his rank we have _already_ shown that one cannot get away with attacks on member species."

Udina snorted, head lowered as he muttered: "Yes, I'm sure he's _really_ hurting..."

_Agreed_. Michael sighed, but kept pushing. _Objective still attainable, continue_. "Councillors, Saren Arterius commands an entire _species_ of sentient machines." _Reapers_...he shook the shudder aside, blinking aside..._something_...as he continued: "And yes, you have in a sense attacked him...will he accept that silently? Is he the forgiving type?"

Michael already knew the answer to that, or at least, the answer the news-feed had in storage. _Public media is unreliable though_..._as_ _Elysium_ _showed_..._which_ _means_ _this_ _is_ _taking_ _a_ _chance_.

The hesitation of the Turian councillor was a good sign though. "We..._no_...no he's not."

"Geth threat is unknown, they are a minor faction as far as we know." The Salarian babbled, words nearly stumbling over one another before he took a deep breath. "It _is_, however, old data, they are capable of rapid construction of new hardware after all...or so our information tells us."

"Agreed." The Asari offered her Salarian colleague a nod, then turned her head to shoot the Turian a glance. _Internal politics_? _Not_ _enough_ _data_ _to_ _work_ _with_ _it_, _observe only_. "A fleet however is no option, it could not track down one man even if it _wasn't _flying into what could potentially turn into hostile territory."

Shepard felt his chest tighten, watching the Turian stiffen. _No_. "Then perhaps others of your Spectres? Asari Commandos? Special task groups?" _Objective can be achieved with them, there is __no__ need for me to become_ – he held back the swallow – _no need_...

"The Spectres are currently too few and too busy, commandos are not for detective work and the Special task groups are..." The Asari glanced at the Salarian, whose eyes seemed to have narrowed...though Michael found it hard to tell with that species. "...not that easy to call upon for a strictly Council matter. Perhaps-"

"No." The Turian growled, glaring at the Asari, hand moving in a dismissive gesture. "This is _not_ the issue of our discussion, nor _proper_."

Then Anderson spoke, the old man's voice clear, yet holding a distinct tone Michael had learnt to associate as determination: "We demand action against Saren and the Geth, you will not give us either fleets or other forces. Council, give us _something_."

For the briefest of moments Michael felt a prick of anger. _I_ _don't_... He squared his shoulders with a small grunt. _Who else_?_Objective is too_ _important_ _to_ _entrust_ _to_ _others_, _and the_ _objective_ _takes_ _precedence_. He looked down at his feet, feeling his hands ball into fists for the briefest of moments. _Objective always takes precedence_...

Looking up he realised silence had once again descended upon the chamber.

The councillors were exchanging looks, hands idly moving against their consoles as they exchanged messages...and then the Turian nodded with a small sigh. "Very well..." Michael found his eyes narrowing, the Turian didn't sound _that_ resistant...

Then the Asari spoke, and Michael felt himself go cold. "Commander Shepard, step forward."

The briefest of pats on his shoulder from Anderson...and Michael found himself moving to the end of the platform, his body strangely refusing to regain its warmth as he heard the muttering around him, felt the eyes of all upon him...and his own doom approaching. _Objective takes precedence, comply_!

He stopped there, the Council looking down at him, an air of..._nobility_...suddenly surrounding them as they regally regarded him.

_Remember the objective, personal feelings are unimportant_.

The Turian inclined his head: "Kneel."

Michael slipped to one knee, his head bowing automatically, feeling light-headed...and allowed himself an indulgence, knowing the objective wouldn't suffer at the moment. _God who art in heaven_...

The Asari: "Spectres is the first line of defence of the Council, it's armed arm."

..._hallowed_ _be_ _thy_ _name_...

The Salarian: "Spectres operate beyond the law, beyond jurisdiction, beyond morals."

..._thy kingdom come_...

The Turian: "They do what must be done, so others don't have to."

..._thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven_...

"A Spectre is an ideal."

..._forgive me my trespasses_...

"A shadow meant to light up the darkness."

..._as I forgive those that trespass me_...

"A saviour whose deeds will go unsung."

..._and lead me not in temptation_...

The Asari, her voice sombre: "Commander Shepard, arise, a Spectre."

..._but deliver me from evil_...

The Salarian, calm: "Commander Shepard, arise, a Spectre."

..._Lord_, _have_ _mercy_...

The Turian, almost muttering the words: "Commander Shepard, arise, a Spectre."

_Amen_.

Shepard rose to his feet.

It felt...heavy.

Around him silence ruled.

People staring at him, Council regarding him, his allies at his back holding their breath.

All, waiting for something.

With a squaring of his shoulders Shepard shook off the lethargy, his head snapping up, lungs filling as he took a liberating breath. _Objective; pursuit of Saren_. "Thank you councillors, I will not let you down."

"While a Spectre largely acts upon his own volition the council is still able to offer assignments and give orders, I expect you to remember that." The Turian crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing Michael closely.

Michael bowed his head. "I will, sir."

"Your first assignment will be the tracking down and apprehending of Saren Arterius, former Spectre." The Asari spoke, her voice still carrying a sombre undertone. "If you are unable to apprehend him he is to be executed."

"I know..." Michael bowed his head again, feeling tired all of a sudden, then turned on his heel and began to march.

Ahead of him the two old men stood. Udina, smiling, full of their victory. _A shark in every sense of the word, he'll prove useful, should watch him though_. Anderson, smiling, beaming with so much pride that it hurt to watch. _Pain is unimportant, he and his affection will prove useful, especially now that I need the alliance's help in pursuing Saren_.

He brushed past them.

At the end of the platform the others waited.

Wrex, the Krogan nodding in approval, though why Michael couldn't tell. The mercenary had already insinuated his need for a new contract. _Did good work in Chora's Den_. _Risk of being Saren's agent negligible due to aid at Chora's den_. _Seems loyal to more then just credits, though __credits will suffice for job, will make him an offer if he pursues_.

Garrus, the Turian nodding, his pointed teeth glittering in the light as he smiled, pleased. _Can no doubt be coaxed into joining, might even insist_. _Crack shot, connections to C-sec might prove useful. Risk of being Saren's agent negligible due to aid at Chora's den_. _Will offer him to join instead of waiting for application, will show trust and admiration of his skills_.

Tali, the Quarian standing a bit to the side, the silvery orbs in the purple visor watching him intently. _Hacking expert, if her story is true also a good survivor, __knows__ the Geth, and knowledge is vital_. _Hatred of Geth obvious, likely fear mixed with hatred of Saren, both motivating her to help, as do her wish to survive_._ Likelihood of being an agent of Saren non-existent due to his assassination attempts and the evidence she forwarded_._ Should none the less keep a watch over her_.

Kaidan, the man looking pleased – yet thoughtful – even as he straightened and a hand automatically moved to salute. _Too intelligent and ethical, questions orders_. _He follows orders despite them being questionable though, obviously skilled too, powerful biotic as well_. _Will keep him under command, but under supervision_.

Ashley, grinning from ear to ear, eyes afire with glee as much as admiration. _Wrongly admires me for the Skyllian Blitz, such admiration might prove useful though, maintain façade if able_. _Good fighter, crack shot, a bit too aggressive, __must__ keep her in check or she'll_..._d_..._di_..._die_.

He squared his shoulders, pushing his weaknesses aside as he with a head held high marched past the five, hearing them move to follow.

"...and I will not fail."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her feedback._


	11. Chapter 11

The planet was ugly.

It was a dark brown thing with a swirly green haze surrounding it...reminding Joker of the last time he'd broken his leg in an Alliance port, or rather, the rather impressive chunks he'd hurled on the floor as the pain had dug into him.

_Just __had__ to have the tacos on the second floor eh_? _Oh __sure__, the stairs are easy to climb up, but damn more difficult to_..._hmmm_..._actually they're __easier__ to climb down from_..._that with __gravity__ doing most of the work_...

Still, visually unpleasant notwithstanding _that_ was where they were going – the ugly orb growing ever larger – despite Joker's dislike for going for places without a _bar_... _Why can't we ever go to __fun__ places like Omega_? _Damn workaholic of a boss_...

The thought made him turn where he sat, by now he could do so without affecting the course the slightest, despite the sensitive controls...and in comparison to captain Anderson Shepard didn't seem to mind such violations of discipline, though he usually checked that Joker didn't veer off course.

The scouting team was already assembled in the cockpit, something becoming a tradition during the final approach of their target. Joker's eyes automatically darted to the Turian leaning against a console with his arms crossed in front of him, grey eyes steady and hard, focused on the distant planet.

Garrus was the _second_ Turian that had ever been on a mission on the Normandy, and the _first_ to survive his first drop... Of course when Joker had pointed this out Garrus had talked about how sad it was that Nihlus had died and that he should be avenged...rather then to actually play along or at least _appreciate_ the damn joke...

_Boring_ _stick_ _in_ _the_ _mud_..._just_ _like_ _Nihlus_..._are_ _all_ _Turian's_ _like_ _that_?

The other one next to Shepard was _far_ nicer to look at. Joker could appreciate a good woman when he saw her...and even with her armour on Ashley was _all_ woman...maybe even _more_ so then without it. _Must be something with her posture_..._bah,_ _who_ _cares_, _the_ _important_ _part_ _is_ _that_ _she's_ _niiice_!

He found his eyes flicking upwards, just to make sure. To his relief he found Ashley's eyes firmly glued to the view-port, or rather, at the approaching planet...eyes intent, as if trying to _will_ the planet closer. Joker wasn't surprised, marines were protective as hell over their own – which meant the planet Edolus with it's missing marines was a tension-builder for the woman – and Ashley was more marine then _any_ Joker had met...even more than she was a woman, which was an _impressive_ feat all things considered.

_Yeah_..._things_... Joker's eyes flickered back down, then away as he realised he was pushing his luck. Ashley sure was _hot_, which meant _built_, which meant she could kick his _ass_, even more so then most able-bodied people. _More likely snap one of my legs off and shove it where the sun doesn't shine_..._though she will probably never notice the odd glance, that with her either staring at space like a loon or glancing at the Commander like some star-struck teen girl_.

He almost chuckled at that, _almost_, but given Ashley's love for violence and his own love for his blood he held his mouth shut. Though it was a bit silly, bad-ass marine number one staring at space as if it was something wondrous to behold – Joker had long ago lost that fascination, space was just his medium – or at the Commander when she thought no one was looking...it stood in stark contrast to her blunt and somewhat crude behaviour. _Wonder if she keeps stuffed animals and writes in her diary too_? He barely held the snicker back.

Not that he could blame her about the Commander thing, Shepard was imposing, even _without_ being something of a legend in Alliance and even human eyes. _Add_ that though and you had a monster of a man clad in heavy black armour, sporting scars earned in noble battle, a body built for nothing but _power_ and armed to the _teeth_. _Of course the Commander gets the ladies all in a frizt_..._the_ _jerk_.

_Though I guess it's captain now_..._or_ _rather_..._should_ _be_. Technically Shepard hadn't been promoted and as such wasn't captain of the ship...but it felt _weird_ not having a captain on the ship. _Plus if he's not seen as captain I would probably be next in line, which would mean __I__ would be the one going down with the ship_..._and that just won't do_. He gave the dashboard a small pat. _No offence darling_...

The man was the only one not paying attention to the approaching globe, carrying his weapons like a second skin – _well, third considering his armour_ – the man was scowling ever so slightly down on an electronic reader in his hands. It was one of his _things_ apparently...in fact ever since they had set out for the Terminus systems Joker had _never_ seen the man without that reader in his hands, either standing reading it, walking and reading...heck, Joker had caught the man_ working out_ while reading it!

_What's he reading this time_? _Better_ _not_ _be_ _that_ _damn_ _Saren_ _file again_... Joker could by now recognise the font and way the reports were structured, even when just glancing at the reader from a distance and from behind so that everything came out backwards. _Nope, not his or any personnel-file_..._is_..._is it the file for the __planet_! _Oh for crying out_... "You know keeping the pad that close to your face makes your eyes go square."

Michael looked up, _another_ of his things, sure he read as only a nut would do...but whenever you actually spoke to him or he to you he instantly dropped whatever he was reading and focused on you._ Not only that, but he also has a sense of __humour_! _No_ _insult_ _to_ _Anderson intended_... Smirking the Commander glanced down at Joker: "And using inter-stellar com-links rots your brain, I guess I'm screwed."

"Not a bad state." Joker chuckled with a cock of his head as he turned back to the view-port, watching Ashley roll her eyes in its reflection with a smirk.

"Might be for _you_..._brittle-bones_." Ashley grunted, clearly annoyed.

"Ouch!" Joker laughed. "Attention all hands, the lady _bites_!"

A small chuckle from the Commander: "Which isn't bad either."

In the reflection Ashley rolled her eyes even as she shifted away from Shepard, clearly bothered. _Heh_, _cute_. _Ah hell, let's be nice to her_..._for the moment_. "Say Commander, what _were_ you reading? Not planetary data was it? I mean a glance is usually enough..."

"Can never be too careful, always prepared as the boy scouts says." Shepard replied, a bit _too_ stoic in his voice, smirking.

Not that _Ashley_ seemed to notice it, nodding in agreement, eyes sparkling in that annoying inability to get a joke that Joker for the moment had only assigned Garrus. "And the marines as well, sir."

Now it was Joker's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, because history of a dead lump of rock will _surely_ help in a purely scouting and rescue mission..."

"Of course it does, as does rotational speed..._very_ important." Shepard chuckled, then shrugged. "You never know Joker, better safe then sorry, though memorizing the crap is annoying as hell..."

Joker blinked, hands pausing on the controls as he glanced back, eyebrow arching. "You...actually _memorize_ the stuff?"

A small shrug, the Commander suddenly looking a little awkward as he looked away. "For a while...good to keep the mind sharp you know?"

"Sure...but jeez...lighten up, there's more to life then reading and working out." Joker glanced at Ashley's reflection. _Doing __that__ for instance_..._damn_ _these_ _brittle_ _hips_..._oh and regulations I suppose_..._but mostly the hips_...

"I bet you can only think of _one_ thing." Shepard chuckled, looking down at Joker with a grin.

"Sure, but it's an important thing dammit, oh and we're close to insertion." Joker smirked.

"Hey, now." Michael shook his head with a smile. "Ease her in gently, no need to push."

"I push whenever I like it dammit..." Joker grumbled, struggling not to smile too widely.

Ahead the planet was growing large, almost making Joker sigh. _What are we doing here anyway_? S_ure, rescuing marines is good and all that_..._but weren't we supposed to hunt Saren or something_?_ I'm __sure__ I read it somewhere, __could__ be wrong_..

Of course that was difficult to do when Shepard didn't know _where_ the guy was, or even where to _start_...so Joker couldn't blame him for just ordering them out into the Terminus systems in some random hunt for the man. Of course since they didn't immediately stumble upon some lead like the hero in some stupid detective story they were instead drawn into all manner of odd things and fights that really had no part in their mission _what so ever_.

Pirates, slavers, mercenaries, there was plenty of prey out in the Terminus System, and Joker had a sneaky suspicion Michael was testing, evaluating and moulding the ground-team during the missions, using them as a training ground until they'd pick up a lead on Saren's whereabouts. _Certainly the way he's been rotating the team-members while always being the team leader hints at that_..._how the hell does he endure doing that anyway_? _Damn well nearing thirty drops in two weeks and he's __always__ team-leader_! G_uy doesn't seem to sleep_..._talk about making the rest of us look bad_...

Of course helping marines was a _little_ more something that they should be doing, instead of rushing across the entire galaxy playing vigilantes while upsetting the natives. _Oh yes_! _We're heroes coming to right the wrongs in the galaxy one dirt-ball at a time_! Joker's smile turned into a sarcastic grin at the thought, back in his younger days he'd spent _many_ days in the hospital...and the only thing keeping him sane had been the comic-books his mother had brought him. He still had a few of the classics with him, though never read them for fear of being caught, the ribbing he'd get if he was caught... _Would never live it down_..._still, this is sort of like them_.

He paused, eyes roving over the dashboard of his baby, the ship almost a part of him by now...and found himself grinning. _Hey_..._wouldn't_ _that_ _make_ _this_..._the_ _batmobile_!

_I can see it now; Na-na-na-na-na-naaa_..._Joker_! His sarcastic grin somehow managed to get even _wider_, his internal voice faking an ominous voice; _Joker__, driving the experimental governmental ship_..._the __Normandy_..._on a __crucial__ mission_..._the __galaxy__ on stake_..._All__ that stands against the dominion of __Saren__ and the galaxy is __he__ and his able-bodied __sidekicks__ as they explore the vast galaxy in an effort to __stem__ the __tide_!

A small snort exploded from him._ Man, glad we're not __really__ on such a mission, I would crack like an __egg__ under such pressure_...

"I know it's ugly..." Shepard interrupted Joker's reverie with a chuckle. "...but _try_ not to laugh at the planet, you'll hurt its _feelings_."

Joker snorted. "Oh yeah, of course I have to tend to the _fat_ chick's feelings...why is it always me?"

Sheppard feigned a sniffle: "Are you calling it fat?"

"Wh-what? _No_ I..." Joker shook his head, hard. "...for fu- it's _not_ a girl!"

"Well of course you say that _now_ when you have no chance of getting some..."

"I..." Joker's stumbled, then laughed. "I hate you Commander...I hope the planet's one big alien that _eats_ you..."

A chuckle. "That's the best you can do?"

"Keep it up and I'm turning the car around..."

"If _that's_ how it's going to be I'm going to sit behind you and kick your backrest the entire way home..."

"You know, beating up a superior officer isn't illegal when done to punks..."

"Are you starting something?"

"Me and my big-ass frigate with big-ass guns are, yeah."

"Well if-"

"For God's sake!" Ashley cried out, her reflection in the view-port raising her hands up as she looked up at the ceiling with eyes wide in wonder and frustration: "It's like you're children!"

"We're sorry, you wanted in?" Shepard grinned at the woman, who only looked away with a loud 'hmpf'.

"I _bet_ she did!" Joker laughed, watching Ashley turn her head even further away, face twisting into a grimace of annoyance.

Then Garrus spoke, the Turian's voice breaking through the mood like ice. "They're just joking around gunnery chief, easing the tension before the mission." He shrugged. "A human thing I suppose."

Ashley looked at Garrus with a stunned look, then rolled her eyes and shook her head. Michael for one just looked at the Turian, smirking, apparently finding the stupid explanation amusing for some reason.

Joker on the other hand just shook his head and turned back to his job, voice thick with sarcasm: "Great, because it gets fun if you _explain_ it..."

"Another human thing?"

Joker sighed, rubbing his temples. "_Yes_ Garrus, a human thing..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for standing me._


	12. Chapter 12

_How did dust get in __there_?

Standing in the corner of the loading bay that served as the cramped frigate's armoury the table before Ashley was to the untrained eye a chaos of pieces and bolts. Since Ashley had already finished with her own weapons the pieces now neatly strewn before her were Shepard's, his Tsunami assault rifle the one she was currently focused on, since the man had used it quite a lot during their latest mission.

A mission that had made for some tension among the crew. For a tresher maw to slaughter a squad of marines was depressing in its own right, making the humans on the ship sombre...But the anger when the news that admiral Kahoku had tracked their deaths to the pro-human organisation Cerberus had hit the sombreness had turned into anger.

Anger...and a nervousness spreading around the aliens. Ashley couldn't blame them. Sure, you shouldn't outright _trust_ aliens in general, but Cerberus outright moved to _hurt_ them to further humanity. _Disgusting_..._and now they kill humans too in their sick experiments_..._disgusting_... She opened the clip to Shepard's assault rifle a little too harshly, glowering at the box and the sand that had somehow entered it, despite it basically being a thick block of steel. _Stupid_ _sand_ _storm,_ _stupid_..._rifle_.

She sighed, letting her hands drop instead of grabbing at the sensitive parts while she was angry. Instead she let her dropped head turn to glance over at Garrus, the Turian bent low to check something under the Mako as he tinkered away. She didn't _really_ believe the Turian would betray them any more...but who knew with such creatures and their strange thinking? The Cerberus thing had only served to widen the gap between the humans serving on the Normandy and the alien minority, a gap Ashley had thought almost closed after their previous missions, a closing she hadn't been sure she'd approved of anyway.

Yet now she _missed_ that lack of a gap, the new gap wasn't based on lack of understanding but on suspicion and a hint of fear. Sure, they were allies against the Cerberus ass-holes...but what would happen if they stumbled upon a lab full of...Turian prisoners tortured into madness? Or...Krogan being dissected...or_ something_? If the aliens got upset, angry with _humanity_ for what Cerberus had done...things could get..._tense_. _They_ _wouldn't_..._right_?_ I mean you can't judge an entire race by what one little __group_..._erm_...

She grimaced, shook her head. _No_, _that's_ _different_, _that's_..._ugh_...n_ew_ _thought_.

Her gaze kept following Garrus, watching the Turian flip onto his back before pulling himself beneath the Mako, muttering a few choice words as a clawed hand shot down to his toolbox to get whatever was needed. It was an oddly _human_ moment...and _completely_ ruined by the two claws on each foot sticking out from underneath the armoured transport, making it look like it had rolled over an oversized bug.

_Heh_, _road-kill_.

With their many missions behind them at least Ashley had found herself admitting that yes, Garrus was useful. _A bit dry and on a high horse sure_..._not to mention annoyingly good with his sniper rifle_..._but useful_.

As such she found him _tolerable_. Even if his _constant_ work on the Mako and inability to get along with Kaidan...turning conversations into frosty things...sometimes made Ashley wonder if they could check how long it would take a Turian to die when dumped into space...

A small shift of Wrex's shoulders, meaning the crates he was leaning on shifted dangerously with a creak of protesting metal, made Ashley's gaze flicker over to the Krogan. One thing could be said in Garrus' favour, he made himself _useful_ on the ship, Wrex though...not so much. As she watched the Krogan stood up, took a step to the side...and sat down on another stack of crates, making Ashley wince. _Food supplies_..._meet Krogan ass_..._thank God they're all canned goods_...

Not that she minded Wrex all that much. Garrus wasn't only a Turian but also individually hard to _get_...Ashley still wasn't sure _why_ the alien would up and leave the Citadel for an unpaid job hunting one of his own on a high risk mission...Wrex was on the other hand was easier to understand. He was there for the credits, nothing more, nothing less. Sure, at times he seemed a bit..._sad_...but in general he struck Ashley as the typical Krogan. He was honest, straight to the face and clear with what he was there to do...at times Ashley couldn't help but wonder if Krogan weren't all born as perfect marine material.

He was clearly no idiot though, those big fish-eyes of his carrying a dangerous glint of intelligence. So as with Garrus Ashley had resolved to keep an eye on him. _Just in case_..._I mean Shepard doesn't seem to_-

As if summoned, the elevator at the other end of the room beeped, the door sliding open to allow the uniformed hero to step out, head dipped as he read whatever he was reading this time on his worn reader...and Ashley found herself looking back down on the table, her hands moving automatically to reassemble his rifle, a jab of nervousness digging into her heart.

_Jeez, you'd think it would get easier serving unde_ – _with_ – _him_... She sighed as she slapped the mass accelerator into place of the rapidly forming weapon. _ I mean, sure, he's the big hero, a Spectre now even, sure he brought me on a mission of vital importance, sure I liked crushing on him when he was just a distant figure on the extranet_..._and __sure__ it sort of has gotten worse with him being so damn_..._around_!

Even as her hands continued to move in well-oiled precision borne out of years of practice Ashley found her head turning, shyly looking back over her shoulder.

The man had put the reader under his arm. Blue eyes focused on Garrus in exclusion to all else, as if nothing else existed. It was strangely..._predatory_. And as he _moved_...Ashley swallowed...it was _all_ about moving in on his prey, steps set in stone as he, with surprising litheness for such a big man, made his way to the Turian now coming up from underneath the Mako. All predatory, wanting, _getting_...because everything about him showed that he would _take_ it no matter what...Ashley took a shuddering breath.

_Okay, you're being stupid, get a hold of yourself_. She watched Shepard come to a stop before the Turian, face friendly even as he leant forward a bit, as if ready to pounce upon the alien he was now talking to...predatory, needing, _getting_. _You can come get some right over here_ – _for_ _goodness_ _sake_! Groaning she looked away, hand coming to rest on her forehead. _Right, dry-spell has gone on for __far__ too long, you're lusting after a superior officer, one you barely know at that_. _Damn, one shouldn't be allowed to meet your hero_...

_Distract yourself_!

She sighed, the weapon was nearly complete before her, greasy hands slapping the last pieces into place even as she considered their alien guests, of the three on the ship the only one Ashley hadn't decided to keep an eye on was _Tali_.

It wasn't that a Quarian was above suspicion, what little she'd heard on the Citadel actually hinted at the _opposite_, nor was it the fact that the girl had nearly gotten killed by their enemy..._or_ that her race was one of the _few_ that hadn't caused any problems with or bugged humanity...

No, nothing of that.

Neither was it because the girl was practically _living_ in engineering, under the watchful gaze of half a dozen human engineers, or that she obeyed Shepard's every order to the letter with an eagerness often beating that of even the _humans_ on the ship...

No, all that was nothing compared to the fact that the little Quarian was just too _adorable_!

Ashley knew it was a ridiculous reason not to suspect the alien for treachery or anything...but she just found it impossible to do so when the alien was so _small_! Fully a head shorter then Ashley, the petite and brittle-looking Quarian reminded Ashley far too much of her little sisters when they had been younger and full of gangly energy. And how could one not help but smile – almost motherly – at the girl putting a black plug to where her speech-unit to her helmet should be and then use something akin to a straw to drink from the almost sippy cup like thing she always used to drink from...all the while while holding the cup close to her chest with both hands?

The memory was enough to make Ashley's uterus twinge.

Which of course made her look back to Michael.

_Distraction_..._complete_ _failure_...she eyed the man's swaying shoulders, the thick arms, the guarded _power_ just beneath his skin..._Wait_..._swaying_ _shoulders_? _He's_ _walking_? She glanced further up and felt the blush she hadn't even been aware of drain from her face. _Right_ _towards_ _me_!

_Fuck_! She whipped her head around, her head nearly swimming as the blush returned full force. _Calm down, he didn't see you eye him like a piece of man-meat to be mounted_..._I_ _hope_... Her hands nearly scrambled as they moved to reattach the last pieces to Shepard's assault rifle, scrambling not so much to fix the weapon as they did to ground her back in reality. _Okay body, listen, yes, you're twenty-five, yes there's been nothing but a one night stand for __four__years_..._and yes he makes you all tingly just by being around...but would you stop making a fool out of me_! She sighed, shoulders slumping. _Me and alphas_..._I really ought to know better by now_...

"The gun's giving you a hard time?"

Despite knowing he was approaching Ashley jumped, then made herself turn around, a bit too fast, then saluted, again, a bit too fast. Michael was meeting her eyes, making her blink even as her gaze drifted to his eyebrows, the one with a pale scar cutting through it arching in question. _Answer_ _dolt_! "Ahem...no sir! No problem at all sir!"

"That's a bit too official to my taste..." Michael smirked. "Relax Ashley, we're on the Normandy, no mission, I have no issue with easing up on regulations while out of combat." _Like the one about fraterniz- shut up body_! "Shepard or Michael works."

"Yes si-" Ashley nearly bit her tongue. "...Michael." _Right, calm down soldier, __now_. Squaring her shoulders Ashley nodded back towards the table, managing a smirk. "If you're here for your weapons I'm not quite finished with them, how did you get sand into the magazine anyway? Didn't switch mid-combat did you? I mean that's one in a lifetime occurrence..."

The man shrugged, smiling. "Damn maw flung me through the air...things go flying then."

"I _bet_!" Ashley shook her head with a grin on her face at the memory. At the moment it had been horrifying to see both Shepard and Garrus be thrown away from the stuck Mako as the thrashing thresher had sliced one of its wheels off...then she'd felt relief as the two got out of the sand-dune they had dropped into, the Turian cursing loudly through their coms, making Shepard snap at him to keep quiet...now it was just amusing. Then she hesitated: "So...not that I'm complaining...Michael...but did you want something?"

"What? No complaints?" Shepard looked shocked, making Ashley blink, mouth opening to say something, yet failing...only to twist into a grimace as his face shifted into a smile. "I'm horrified, _really_."Ashley sighed, amused as much as exasperated. _Why_ _me_? "But yes, I did want something." There it was, the amusement and sarcasm gone all of a sudden, making one wonder if he'd actually felt it in the first place: "How has the Normandy treated you? I hope it's helped with the loss of your squad...?"

Ashley held back a gulp as she found the man carefully eyeing her, his eyes seemingly penetrating her, drawing at the pain she'd buried beneath discipline and anger. "I..." She looked away, unable to meet the prodding eyes as she sighed: "...don't think you can ever truly get over such a thing..."

"Guess not..." Michael muttered in agreement, shifting where he stood before her, _still_ prodding.

"...but _yes_ si...I mean Michael...being out here, keeping busy, feeling an opportunity to actually _do_ something...it _helps_." Ashley nodded to her own words, finding her gaze dropping to her feet. It _did_ help...in fact if Shepard hadn't reminded her of the loss she wouldn't even have thought of it for the entire day...she wasn't sure how to feel about that. "Thanks, it's good to be here, _really_."

"Don't think of it as a favour Ashley." Looking up she found Michael looking down at her, something almost stern in his eyes. "You're earning your keep, otherwise you wouldn't be here." She _believed_ him...and again wasn't sure how to feel about it. Complimented for being seen as valuable...or insulted for him implying he'd gladly toss her out otherwise?

In the end it was an easy choice: "I'll take that as a compliment."

A nod, the man faintly smiling. "Good..." Then he cocked his head to the side, the demand in his eyes not fading. "...you're surprisingly strong when it comes to this..." _How would __you__ know_? Ashley suppressed the question, unable to voice it as Shepard continued: "...most would grieve more."

"I take comfort in knowing they're in a better place..." Ashley clamped her mouth shut. _Oh_ _God_..._I_ _did_ _not_ _just_ _say_ _that_... Shepard was still watching her, eyes intent. _Okay, chin up, you're a Williams, and there's __nothing__ to feel shame about_..._and if __he__ thinks so you have a good uppercut_... "That's not a problem is it? I've had some commanders finding me religious as an issue of 'garrison security'." She grimaced at the memory of getting a pat down every time she entered the camp for several weeks by one garrison commander in particular...until she had taken some of the explosives from its armoury that he always was looking for and crammed it down his throat...he hadn't tried it again after that.

"Not at _all_." Michael instantly replied, almost snapping the words out. "If it's a source of strength you should embrace it." Nodding he then visible slowed down in his movements as he looked down to his hands, eyeing them with a sudden calm in his eyes. "I...approve even."

Ashley found herself take an inching step forward, cocking her head to the side as she asked in a low mutter: "And you're...?"

"I..." This time there was a hesitation in Michael's voice, his eyes growing distant for a while, pupils jerking back and forth, as if calculating something. Before Ashley could ponder it he was back in the present though, smiling faintly as he looked back up at her. "...find comfort in that there is a better place after this." Another stop of hesitation, a deep breath, making Ashley force herself to take a step back as she realised how close she'd gotten: "It was through God's mercy I became a marine." Again, hesitation. "A priest..._took_ me in from the streets and presented me to the recruitment office..." He shrugged, a faint smile. "...guess he works in mysterious ways huh?"

Ashley blinked, suddenly wary. There was something..._more_...to that story...but she had a feeling pushing further would meet a polite, but insurmountable wall. "That he does, I for one find myself believing due to the galaxy."

Michael's eyebrows arched in silent question.

Holding back the blush Ashley looked away, silently cursing her far too generous mouth. "Have you _not_ looked out the window? There's so much out there, different species, supernovas and stars beyond counting...a kaleidoscope got _nothing_ on the play of colours and lights in the galaxy! I mean...I can't imagine there's so much beauty in such abundance without there being..._something_ out there." She couldn't hold back the blush as she realised what she had said, gaze shyly moving to glance at Michael.

The man was looking down at his electronic reader's side, drumming his fingers on it while frowning in thoughts. "Your faith..." Ashley didn't think him capable of it, but there actually was a hint of..._shamefulness_ in Michael's voice. "...is purer than mine."

Ashley's mouth opened to protest, to say..._something_...but nothing came out. _How do you reply to something like __that_!

And Michael wasn't forthcoming either, still looking down at his reader, still frowning.

_Oookay_..._I_ _broke_ _him_..._great_...

Then he looked up again, the frown gone, as if it had never been there in the first place, a smile on his face: "That's refreshing, keep it up."

_Huh_... "I'll...do my best." Ashley shrugged, managing a smirk. "I'll become a saint among marines, the Virgin Mary will have _nothing_ on me."

Shepard crossed his arms over his chest as he leant back, mirroring her smirk. "Isn't that blasphemy?"

"Only if it isn't true." Ashley replied, grinning. "Though I guess I'll have trouble with the whole _virgin_ thing..." She coughed, eyes widening as she realised what she had just said. _Dammit_ _mouth_! Shepard's chuckle did nothing to help, only making her struggling to maintain control over her face. _Body_..._I_ _hate_ _you_... "Ahem...right..._sooo_...what you're reading?"

Michael kept chuckling, smirking at her transparent change of subject, making her struggle to keep her face neutral as she nervously moved from foot to foot. "Oh this?" He held up the reader, still smirking at her. "Just reading Saren's file, it's quite big you know..."

"And?" _Please keep on track, I've been embarrassed enough already_...

"There's..._too_ _much_ data." Michael sighed, his smirk fading as he looked down on the reader. "He's been a Spectre for twenty-four _years_ Ashley...he has visited nearly _every_ planet in the Terminus system, he has _at least_ one contact in every planet with people on it...and that's only what shows in his files, who _knows_ what he has kept secret?" He shook his head, shoulders squared, a hint of coldness creeping into his voice. "Can't pinpoint him by his earlier record, there's too many planets to comb, and tracking him through his contacts is likely _useless_ given his experience and cautiousness."

"Nothing about the Geth?" Ashley tried, frowning. _We'll get him, we __must__ get him, the son of a bitch will get my assault rifle so far up his ass that he'll be spitting_-

"Nothing." Michael snapped, glaring at the reader. "Only mission upon mission...it's...damn impressive actually."

"_Excuse_ me!" Ashley snapped, hands tightening into fists on instinct.

Michael merely raised a hand in placation. "Don't take it the wrong way, I'm not talking about Eden Prime, I'm talking of his earlier record...it's..." He hesitated, then shrugged. "...Anderson was wrong about him...this file is of a damn hero..."

Ashley's anger drained instantly, replaced by curiosity. "Huh? How so?"

"He..." Michael made an empty gesture, biting his lower lip as he momentarily struggled for words. "...he makes the tough calls, the _right_ calls, _every single time_. He doesn't let remorse or weakness slow him down, he does what _needs_ to be done, no matter the cost. This man has saved billions of lives Ashley, _billions_...most who doesn't even know of it. He's _ruthless_, I admit, getting many _innocent_ killed, but always to save _more_ then he takes away...it...is humbling. He makes the calls we others are too weak to make."

"That's _one_ way to put it I suppose." Ashley snorted, arms crossed over her chest. _I __refuse__ to be impressed by a mass-murderer_... "But how many innocent must die by the hands of one without remorse before the saving turns into uncaring murder?"

Michael nodded, though he didn't look convinced. "Perhaps...I...can't imagine the strain he has endured."

Ashley frowned. _For some reason I think you __can_... "That's the thing, if he's ruthless and harsh as he sacrifices people so others may live...there _is_ no strain, no moral issue...isn't that _frightening_ rather then impressive?"

"I suppose..."

"Look, we _know_ he attacked Eden Prime, we _know_ he's working with the Geth, we _know_ he's now a mass-murdering bastard...what he was before doesn't matter." Michael kept looking worried however, making Ashley sigh. "Don't tell me you're worried about turning into him by making the right calls? I mean you actually _care_ about those under your charge."

Michael flinched, an almost violent jerk, as if struck, his head turning to look away. "I...don't...say things like that."

_Ummmm_..._okay_. Ashley managed a curious smile though as she replied: "What? The great hero getting embarrassed by a little compliment?"

"I must go." The man practically snapped the words, making Ashley take a step back, nearly wincing as she realised she'd said something wrong._ I didn't_..._I_ _thought_... "By the way..." Looking back to her Michael's smile returned, if a little strained. "...you realise you have grease all over your forehead right?"

Ashley blinked.

_I_..._put_ _my_ _hand_ _against_ _my_ _forehead_..._while_... She looked down at her hands, finding the grease from the weapon she had worked on still covering them, which meant... _Oh_ _God_...

She whirled around, head dipping low as her cheeks began to burn, hands moving to snap the nearly forgotten weapon on the table together, the words tumbling out of her: "Yes, go, that's good, nice chat, talk later?"

She heard Shepard chuckle, then the thump against the grilled floor as he walked away...and breathed a sigh of relief...and _embarrassment_..._mostly_ embarrassment. _God_..._can't believe I stood there talking to him while my forehead was all_..._God_... Leaning on the table she hid her face in her hands. _He must think I'm some sort of idiot who_...

Again she blinked, feeling the smudgy hands against the skin of her face.

_Aaaand__ my hands are still greasy_...

Even Wrex flinched at the loud curse escaping her.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	13. Chapter 13

The way to the engine room from the cargo bay was long for being on a frigate.

As such Michael let his steps slow as he held his reader under his arm, mind drifting towards the latest mission report in it, Saren had been so..._strong_._ How could I ever manage to make such a call_? _It would require to_..._I_.-

He shook his head, banishing whatever emotion was about to push itself up.

_No, not productive thinking, focus on objective_.

_Kaidan_. _Intelligent and questioning, not in a way that helps me though, his joke not amusing, devoted to cause and following orders however, which is appreciated_._ Headaches a plus, him enduring through it even better, I can relate and respect it_. _Care not reached however_..._not_ _reached_ _a_ _stage_ _beyond_ _the_ _regular_ _need_, _must_ _push_ _for_ _further_ _care_..._care_ _must_ _be_ _achieved_.

_Garrus_. _Intelligent and questioning as well, but in a harsher way with harsher conclusions. Highly developed sense of justice, which I am somewhat agreeing on, devotion to missions hanging on this sense, a moral person, likeable trait_. _Frustration with lack of results...understood but not shared, frustration with governmental red tape and dishonest actions __is__ something to care about however_. _Care achievable, __will__ attain_.

_Ashley, soldier to the core, something to respect. Religion was_..._a surprise, not something to bond over but – _he hesitated_ – helpful in relating_. _Asked permission to take responsibility for the armoury, wants to help out, appreciated_. _Has a cute blush, not to mention that smear on her forehead and the reaction to it was even cuter_..._superficial things perhaps, but will aid in caring, which is what matters_.

_Wrex. Perhaps the smartest of them, or rather most cunning_..._painful to relate my old self with that_..._but relating helps forming connection, will proceed with it_._ Reluctant to give anything but bits and pieces about himself, seems like an important person though for some reason_..._a Krogan prince_? _Note to self; do a more thorough background check on Wrex_. _Not much then normal care, __must__ turn curiosity into true caring, he values strength, perhaps bonding over weapons_?

_Tali_...Michael frowned even as he stepped through the door leading to the engine room.

He hadn't actually _seen_ that much of the Quarian, save on missions. During those she had acted with a surprising professionalism and skill for one who claimed to be out on a rite of passage, showing that she wasn't some simple adventurer along for the ride but a competent technician and support to just about any squad configuration Michael had so far tried out.

But on the ship...not much but glimpses. It wasn't that she was avoiding him, he believed, but rather that they kept different schedules. Which wouldn't be _that_ bad except that he never saw her at meal-times, meaning dramatically less time to talk. According to the others she finished very quickly – not surprising given her slight build – which meant that he – who always came in late due to working out, plotting courses or reading – never actually saw her besides on missions. Of course he had hunted her down a couple of times...but she always seemed _busy_...which had begun to become frustrating to the man wishing to obtain his objective.

And now he had heard from chief engineer Adams that the Quarian was spending the majority of her time in the engine room, lighting up alarms in Shepard's head.

The Normandy might be under his command as a Spectre, but it was still an Alliance vessel, an Alliance vessel using experimental technology worth a _lot_...and while Tali had proven highly valuable and was no doubt devoted to their mission..._any_ suspicious activity had to be looked into. He didn't bring her along to steal technology after all...

The engine room, however, was one Quarian short.

Blinking Michael looked about, finding two human backs turned to him, the engineers at their stations by the mass effect core, tapping away at their computers without even noticing him having stepped in.

_Engineers_...

Stepping further into the room Michael ignored the pair and the swirling mass of barely contained energy rolling around further off, his head moving left and right in search, though there wasn't much to search through. _She was not on the decks above, nor has anyone in the cargo bay mentioned seeing her, did we walk past one another_?

Then he heard a clank.

Looking up he saw a panel in the ceiling move...before a shadow fell down.

He moved on instinct.

Jumping sideways he rolled with the impact against the floor and came up in a kneeling crouch, right hand on the knife in his boot, left held out, ready to parry a lunge.

With a small grunt Tali landed, two-toed feet close together, knees bowing deep to the sides as she crouched with the fall, hands far to the sides to maintain balance, head bowed, as if in a prayer.

Then her head turned up, only to freeze as the silvery eyes glowing through her visor focused on Michael from under the edge of her cowl. "_Oh_..." She looked back down, then rose to her feet, Michael imitating the move even as the Quarian looked over to the still unresponsive backs of the human engineers, then muttered something under her breath before once more focusing on Shepard. "...hello Captain...you..." Her voice had an odd warbling quality to it... _Due_ _to_ _her_ _helmet_..._or_ _is_ _it_ _natural_? _Should_ _ask_. She once more glanced to the humans that didn't even seem to notice the two. "...wanted something from here?"

_Captain_? Michael made a mental note to pursue the issue even as he smiled broadly. "Actually I was coming to check on you, didn't know you would drop in so dramatically however."

"Oh..._that_...sorry about that, didn't see you." Tali once more glanced over at the human engineers, hands twiddling with one another as she looked back to look at him. "Wait, _me_? What about?"

_A_ _hint_ _of_ _fear_ _in_ _her_ _voice_? _Worry_? _Suspicious_. Michael smiled. "Just want to get a sense of my crew, understand them."

"I..." Tali nodded, then hesitated, head cocked to the side. "...of course Captain, I'm at your service."

Michael imitated her, his head cocking to the side as he judged her disposition. _Seems_..._guarded...is she hiding something_? _She didn't seem so guarded before_..._what_ _changed_? The silvery eyes glowed as they waited, patiently regarding him.

For a horrifying moment it felt as if she saw right through him.

Then he pushed the illogical worry aside and smiled widely: "Okay, first of all, what's with the 'Captain' thing? I'm a Commander and a Spectre if anything. And when on the ship I answer to Shepard or Michael just as well...I prefer it even."

Again the Quarian hesitated, glancing down on her feet before back at him. "You are in command of a ship, of its crew, the crew – including me – are trusting their lives to you and in exchange do their utmost to keep your ship at its best..." Michael nearly shuddered at the words, it was obvious truths, yet he _hated_ to think of it... "...to a Quarian that _makes_ you Captain, the Alliance rank is...superfluous."

_Test her reaction_. "We're not _on_ a Quarian ship though." Michael pointed out, smirking.

"You're telling _me_..." Tali responded, her voice going a bit absent as she looked about herself. "...everything's so clean and..._empty_. It's like half the crew is missing."

_Homesick perhaps_?_ I can care about such a thing_..._if unable to relate_. _Still, tread carefully, don't make her clam up_. "At least it allows you some personal space...and as I said, on the Normandy you may call me Shepard, or better yet, Michael."

"I...yes...Shepard." The tone was again guarded, the Quarian regarding him with a somewhat defensive posture. _Why_ _is_ _she_ _so_..._tense_?

_Thinking about it doesn't help, pursue primary objective_. Michael looked about himself, assuming a curious look. "So...Tali...Engineer Adams tells me you spend basically all your time down here..." He let it hang there, looking back at Tali.

Her posture stiffened, the Quarian's warbling voice becoming harder. "Are you saying I'm not _allowed_ in here?" Her hands ended up on her wide hips as the silvery orbs narrowed at him, making it look as if she was trying to stare him down, amusing considering she was nearly two heads shorter... A sliver of _hostility_ even entered her voice as she continued: "Because I was under the _impression_ that _everyone_ in the crew was supposed to do their part, but if _some_ aliens aren't wanted in-"

"What?" Michael blurted out, blinking as he realised he'd been taken off guard._ Had not expected __that__ of all things_... "_No_ – I just...I was just curious as to why _anyone_ would want to spend _all_ their days in here? It's loud and dull..." _Weak lie, could ruin any further interaction, beware, prepare to repair and continue, primary objective at least achieved, she is unlikely to have faked such a response_..._no_ _stealing_ _of_ _technology ongoing_.

"_Oh_..." Tali sounded hesitant, but then relaxed a bit as she made a plaintive gesture. "...sorry about that. I just get a bit _defensive_ when I suspect speciesism..." The hand dropped, as if the subject made her too weary with continuing holding it up...or even speaking.

_Treated differently because of where she comes from_..._a_ _thug_ _from_ _Earth_ _can_ _relate_..._if only in part_. Michael shifted where he stood, the silver eyes following him, waiting. "So why _are_ you here? I mean the ground team isn't really required to do any extra duties except for those within the Alliance...you didn't _have_ to do _anything_."

"I am part of the crew, I should, no, _need_ to make myself valuable..." Tali shrugged. _Very__ easy to relate to_... The voice shifted, becoming calmer as the Quarian looked about the room. "...it's the Quarian way. Besides, I'm an engineer at heart and this difference between your ship and those of the Flotilla's...it's _fascinating_." She was still looking around as the voice softened, acquiring a dreamy tone. "And as to the ship...what a _beauty_...the drive core is just a _marvel_...did you know that despite the heavy energies fluctuating within such a dense energy cloud it's well contained within safety parameters while giving off an excess energy of-"

Michael's laugh cut her off, a short bark as he moved a hand to his chest. "Ha! I see! You're a _nerd_!"_ Good, she amuses me, caring achievable_.

"I – what..." The Quarian's words stumbled as she took a step back, her tone shifting from bafflement to a rebellious shrill thing with a hint of a smile beneath it as she jabbed one of her long fingers in his direction. "...I _resent_ that description! We Quarians have a natural affinity for mechanical things and it's not _my_ fault that I happen to be even more so..." The tone was lowered, amused, the Quarian looking away with her arms folded in front of her. "..._nerd_...of course that comes from the gun-totting savage."

"Ouch!" Michael laughed again, hand to his forehead. "You're as bad as _Ashley_!" Before the woman could reply he pointed up at the ceiling. "So...what's with imitating a ninja?"

"A..._ninja_." Tali repeated, seemingly tasting the word, sounding confused as she cocked her head to the side in question.

_Irrelevant_. Michael shook his head and smiled. "Never mind, I meant what was up with the whole crawling around in the ducts?"

"Oh..." The Quarian looked once more over at the backs of the engineers, the silvery orbs behind her visor narrowing, her voice rising ever so slightly: "...just doing some _proper_ maintenance."

A snicker suddenly rose from the two, though they didn't turn.

"_Proper_?" Michael repeated, stiffening, gaze moving to the backs of the engineers, making the two squirm as they felt his eyes upon them. _If there has been improper maintenance heads will roll, the objective is paramount, no technical issue is allowed to interfere_. _Still, out on mission, no replacement available without turning back_._ Punishment should be either double shifts for a week, ship scrubbing duty or perhaps even running the gauntlet if the crime is bad enough_...

"Just some...disagreements on specifics Capt-" Tali moved her head back to regard him. "-_Shepard_...nothing that will interfere with the mission." The Quarian shrugged even as Michael relaxed and looked away from the two engineers. "Just...a long term goal of keeping the ship in top shape."

Michael arched an eyebrow, arms crossing over his chest.

The Quarian shrugged. "The ship _has_ an automatic system to clean the insides and such, all you do is press a button, amazing thing by the way, while on most Quarian ships you have-" She shook her head, raising a hand in apology even as Michael smirked. _Caring achievable_. "Sorry, what I _meant_ was that while such a system is well and good it's not as observant to the odd marks of wear as a proper set of eyes, nor as meticulous in cleaning out grime and the odd piece of stuck lint. While _most_ would settle for such automatic death-traps we Quarians have long learnt that every inch of the ship must be cared for, one busted filter or gear that has suffered from too much rust and...well." She shrugged, shooting another glare at the backs of the engineers.

"So..." Michael once more found himself smirking. "...you spent what..._hours_ in there? Looking for..._lint_?"_ Good, the ship will stay in perfect condition, still, it evokes_..._amusement_.

"Erm..." The Quarian looked up at the ceiling, then back to Shepard, shrugging, her warble awkward. "...sort of?"

_Good, secondary objective seems easy to attain, keep at it_: "And most Quarians do this? Would you mind...telling me of your people?" He leant forward a bit, sensing his objective close at hand.

He _wanted_ to care, he _had_ to care, he _needed_ to care...

The Quarian took a step back, voice hesitant: "There _is_ lots of information on the extranet and such..."

_No, not the point, the information itself is a secondary concern_. "Nah, I don't like such official stories, too formal and lacking in details." _And untrustworthy, Skyllian blitz shows official media isn't aiming for accuracy_. _And I __need_... He made a gesture at Tali with a friendly smile: "Why don't _you_ tell me? It's more _fun_ that way."

The Quarian leant on her back foot, the silvery orbs within the visor silently regarding him, she almost seemed..._perplexed_.

Once more he had the horrible feeling that she was looking right through him.

"Alright Shepard, on one condition." Tali straightened, then hesitating, the hesitation still in her voice: "Would you tell me of humans? I...don't think I fully understand you..."

Michael blinked, finding himself hesitating even as he calculated. _Exchange of questions means doubling of time, time that can be spent on work, caring for the crew is imperative however, and though it seems easy with this one all efforts should be made to keep level of caring at a high level_. He smiled a toothy smile. "Okay, sounds fair, you got a deal." He waited for a moment, regarding the suited alien with a cocked smile: "So...what about that voice? Is it natural or because of the helmet?"

"The...what?" The Quarian's hand moved halfway to her visor, then down again.

"The warbling." Michael clarified. "It's almost human...yet not."

"You're kidding." Tali's tone was flat. Then she shrugged. "No, natural, nothing done by the helmet, you humans are curious about the oddest things..." Before Michael could reply she continued, head nodding towards him: "Right, my turn...you have different skin colours..."

"Yes..." Michael replied guardedly, forcing aside the ambivalence against the fact and the ingrained worry that he'd somehow be accused of racism. _It's a different __species__, not familiar with our history, such worries are not productive_. "...what about it?"

"So..." The Quarian hesitated for a long moment, regarding him with her head slightly titled. "...that captain and ambassador were darker...does it change with age?" Michael spluttered. _What_! "Or with rank? Or are those by that colour just natural leaders?"

And Michael laughed.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for staying with the annoyance that is me._


	14. Chapter 14

_Cover_.

Shepard whirled back into cover, pressing his back against the steel pillar as a stream of bullets tore through the air he'd stood in a moment ago.

_Assess_.

Ignoring the continuing hail of bullets from the panicking enemy Shepard looked over his shoulder and at the others.

With him holding the rightmost corner of the rectangular room the one closest to him, occupying the other corner of the square pillar he was covering behind, was a focused-looking Alenko. The man's stance was wide, the pistol in his right hand nearly resting against the pillar as it again and again barked out death across the room in a crossfire, his left hand lowered and glowing with barely contained biotic energy, ready to unleash it at any Cerberus agent daring to break cover.

Further off, at the centre of their side of the room, a bulky computer that so far had proven surprisingly sturdy shook and creaked under the fire aimed its way. Forcing Tali'Zorah covering behind it to crouch low, muttering in her alien tongue as her omni-tool glowed a deep orange, the pistol in her other hand smoking with the overheat her random firing back from her cover had achieved.

Urdnot on the other hand, sharing the cover, was monstrously large in comparison to Tali'Zorah. As such he had no option but to rise high enough to return fire, his shotgun again and again firing away across the room, smashing asunder the walls when he missed, or sending the crates the surviving Cerberus operatives were hiding behind flying, often sending one of the enemy flying back as well, usually with a curse and a flare of struck shields.

At the other end, holding the pillar there, Williams was moving left and right, again and again glancing around the cover on both ends and firing away small bursts at the enemy, practically able to keep the entire flank pinned down even _without_ the threat of Alenko's glowing biotics.

The only one that recently had gotten any kills was Vakarian however, the Turian hiding in the doorway behind Tali'Zorah and Urdnot from whence the group had come, his sniper rifle barely sticking out from his cover as more and more Cerberus fire poured towards him in order to keep him pinned.

It had gone well so far. The Cerberus bases on Binthu had been caught unawares, The first one had even had its doors open and defensive turrets powered down, allowing the team to parachute down and annihilate the entire garrison, most having been asleep, in under one minute.

Shepard had timed it.

The second had been more difficult, sentries had been up and the turrets activated, spitting rockets at them the moment they had moved within range. Shepard had managed to take himself closer under the other's covering fire though, drawing the attention of the turrets until Moreau had swooped in. The Normandy's guns had been guided by Vakarian 'painting' of the target...and with the spectacular annihilation of the turret, not to mention the roof of the bunker-like top of the base, the resistance there had crumpled, leading to a somewhat easy mop-up operation.

The _third_ one however...the tall mountains had prevented the Normandy from doing any bombing runs, not to mention the dozen turrets spread around the bunker itself.

Automated defences however, _always_ went for the most dangerous threat.

Which meant that Shepard in the Mako had drawn every rocket fired. Together with a Williams throwing unhelpful curses at him and his evasive driving and an Urdnot hooting as he fired away with the Mako's turret at the enemy base and the defenders there.

The turrets had kept missing...and with Tali'Zorah having masked their signature...the rest of the team had snuck up to each in turn and placed explosives upon them.

When the surviving defenders of the outer bunker had begun to retreat in the face of the evasive Mako and the exploding turrets Shepard had exited with the rest of the Mako's crew and managed to rush the closing door, and when the others had closed the distance it had turned into a running battle of pursuit and annihilation of cornered pockets of resistance.

That had been until they had entered the main laboratory of the facility, the narrow corridors had opened up into a large rectangular room held up by four large metal beams in each corner, between each a large computers stood. Unfortunately it had been been an even distribution of cover, and the far end was packed with cylindrical crates behind which the more numerous Cerberus survivors could regroup and put up a powerful last stand that was by now close to push the Spectre-led force back.

Between the two sides a single man in dress uniform lay, Kahoku... _Unimportant at the moment_.

_Now wait_.

Turning his head back to his corner of the skirmish Shepard listened as the woman screaming curses continued to pour the hail of bullets into the pillar. _Within_ _three_.

"You fucker! I'll kill you!" Even above the din of multiple firing weapons and scouts he could hear the woman roaring, berserk with an anger he didn't understand. _Understanding is irrelevant, she's sloppy, use it_.

_Within two_.

"I'll shove my gun so far down your throat you'll shit lead!"

_Within_ _one_. Shepard took a breath, the assault rifle clicking into place on his back even as his shotgun smoothly clicked into readiness in his hands.

"I'll-!" And then there was no firing, the weapon overheating. "...fuck."

_Engage_.

Shepard whirled around, the shotgun jerking in his hands and tearing a gouge in the pillar the woman was hiding behind even as she in a flare of struggling shields jumped back into cover.

_Proceed with flanking_.

He charged, another blast from his chosen weapon smashing into the pillar, making the woman cry out.

He was halfway across the room, leaping forward as the woman cried out: "Help me!"

_Probability of assistance arriving in time_ – A man whirled around the corner, assault rifle levelled –_ a hundred percent_. The weapon fired away, a vicious volley smashing into Shepard's chest only to burn away as his shields flared away. _Shields will hold for three more_-

A hiss and the gun in the man's hands clicked to a stop, the man looking down at it, perplexed, then he stumbled as an explosion of white light enveloped him as his shields were violently overloaded.

_Note, commend Tali'Zorah for quick acting during briefing_.

Shepard's shotgun barked, and the man flew back into the wall with a grunt, hands dropping his weapon and coming up to clutch at his armoured chest...only to drop to his sides as the second blast dug into the dented armour with a crunch of snapping bones and tearing flesh.

_Shotgun has one shot left until overheat, not enough to break through shields, engage at hand to hand_.

Ignoring the dying man Shepard rushed towards the corner, just in time as the woman once more appeared in a crouched position, her assault rifle discarded in favour of a pistol that her right hand was now aiming up at him.

The shotgun fell from Shepard's hands.

The pistol fired once, Shepard's shield flaring with the impact..

Then his left hand wound around her wrist, pushing the weapon aside and pulled. The woman stumbled forward...before Shepard's right fist crashed into the visor of her helmet and smashed her into the pillar with a crunch of breaking ceramics. Her left hand moved, to perhaps attempt to push him away, or to reach for something...she had no opportunity to act though as his right hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her towards him...where her chest struck his thrusting right knee.

A grunt and she stumbled back, her wrist slipping from Shepard's grip as his right hand closed around the knife in his raised boot.

The Cerberus warrior moaned as the arm holding her pistol swung about...only to be parried by a Shepard's forearm as he stepped forth and swung his right hand down in an overarm swing.

A crash of shattering glass.

A crunch of breaking bones.

And the woman fell back against the pillar with the knife smashed through her visor and into her skull, eyes wide open in shock.

Shepard's boot swung, striking her in the side of her head and sending her rolling away from the cover he needed.

_Ignore knife and shotgun, prioritise flanking_.

Slamming his back against the pillar, the blood and brains of the woman staining the steel smearing the back of his armour even as he pulled his assault rifle free and risked a glance around the corner.

There were near a dozen men and women in the grey coloured armour Cerberus seemed to favour crouching behind the cylindrical crates and the other pillar, one or two throwing a glance in the direction of him, but not yet having spotted him or the lack of defenders.

_Only have seconds, more then enough_.

He lowered his rifle in his right hand and reached up with his left, freeing a grenade from the bandoleer around his chest with a beep of activation as his thumb swept over it on instinct. _One_, _two_ _three_...

He threw it around the corner.

A clack of the small metal ball hitting the ground.

A shout of warning.

Then the ground shook and pieces of shorn metal scythed past Shepard's cover – marking the wall next to him with burning debris – quickly followed by a cloud of dust and fiery smoke as the heavy incendiary secondary charge was released.

Screams.

Of agony, fear and confusion.

_Engage_.

Whirling around the cover in a low crouch and raised rifle Shepard quickly took in the carnage. Most of the crates had been knocked over, the cover for most of the Cerberus soldiers ruined in the shock wave. Most were too shocked to notice though, one laying in gory pieces of fleshy and shorn armour. Another simply standing there, clutching at the stump of his arm with his remaining hand and staring at it in utter confusion. A woman screaming, arms flailing as her armoured shape was covered in chemically enhanced flames...

Shepard fired...

...and the bullets swept past the woman and smashed into the man moving to try and put her out, his already failing shields and torn armour allowing the bullets to tear right through his gut, drawing a strangled grunt from him and sending him tumbling forward and dropping onto the organs and blood pouring out of him.

Then the screaming woman was sent flying, the purple energy of Alenko's slamming into her side and sending her flying like a thrown torch before slamming into the wall in a crash of ash, burnt flesh and blood.

She stopped screaming.

All along the defensive line Cerberus troops stumbled and cried out, exposed, dazed and mostly with their shields down they were suddenly being torn asunder by Shepard's team as unmolested, they were allowed to open up against foes unable to return fire.

_Annihilate_.

Michael fired a burst, then another one, and another one...

Men and women jerked, screamed, _fell_.

And then there was silence.

Shepard rose, weapon still pointing at the enemy, just in case. He _knew_ they wouldn't get up though, their armour and flesh torn open by the intense fire having ripped through them. The stench of bowels torn open and burnt flesh heavy in the air.

Stepping forth he let his gaze wander over the dead, searching for any signs of life, for that little _twitch_...

There was none.

_Primary objective complete, admiral dead, recover and research_.

Turning, he found the others having stepped to the middle of the room, weapons lowered all but Urdnot, looking down on the prone shape of admiral Kahoku and the pool of blood around him and his opened skull. The Krogan however was already looking over the dead, around Shepard, not moving just yet, just assessing which might hold most on his or her pocket...part of their deal was after all that the Krogan would be allowed to keep any credits he looted during missions.

Michael put his assault rifle back to its place on his back as his free hand pointed away. "Williams, guard the door, Alenko, check that corpse. Vakarian and Tali'Zorah, I want you checking these computers for any information that might be of use." He glanced at Urdnot, the Krogan regarding him with a small smirk. Shepard nodded his head. "Go ahead."

With that Shepard turned and couched by the nearest dead, pushing the man onto his back as he looked for the hidden pockets in the armour, hearing Urdnot lumber forth to the other end of the destroyed firing line for some other corpse, the others too moved to do their work.

Except... "_That_ corpse?"

Shepard didn't turn, though he found himself a bit surprised that it had been Williams and not Alenko who'd protested. _Marines protect marines, Alenko might look at things more logically, will make a note of that_. "Yes, Admiral Kahoku's body must be checked for anything of value or clues to any further Cerberus activity."

"I..." William's voice caught a bit as she struggled with herself. "..._sir_! This is an Admiral! A man we talked to only a day ago! Shouldn't we...pay our respect or something!"

_Religion_..._no place for it when deployed_. "Later."

"Later!" He could feel William's glower at his back even as he found the first pocket, opening it and fishing out a somewhat singed chit of two hundred credits. "And now you have Kaidan..._looting_ him! Not to mention you yourself just...they're not even _cold_!"

_Correct, still warm_. Shepard shrugged as he pushed aside a piece of torn entrails from the corpse and found the next pocket that unfortunately had melted shut, forcing him to rip at it. "We are not paid by the council, nor by Alliance since a Spectre can't be on a single citadel race's payroll...must look for alternative sources of income."

"Yes but...it's...immoral!"

Irritation.

Shepard shrugged it off._ Feelings irrelevant, her further protest is bad for morale though, and impeding her setting up a guard, silence her_. "Survival is not immoral, I once killed a man for a single credit."

_Had been a cold winter_... Michael shook it off, explaining was pointless, excuses as well, it just..._was_.

"I..." Williams muttered...and he could _feel_ her scowl of dislike burning into his back, making all but Urdnot's movements hesitant and wary. "...it's..."

Irritation.

_This is __unacceptable__. Shut her up, __now_. "There is nothing wrong with taking from the dead, they don't need it. I once looted the corpse of my own mother, so you will..."

_Glazed eyes staring up at me_...

_Gaunt face still smiling, blissful_...

_Having to pry the half-empty injector out of her bony grip to sell_...

He shook his head, _hard_.

_No_, _irrelevant_.

He coughed, clearing his throat: "...so you will _comply_ with the orders or be tried for insubordination."

Silence.

Shepard realising that the entire group had gone quiet and still, perhaps even staring at him...he didn't turn to look, _refused_ to turn.

_Unacceptable_.

He found himself barking the order: "Get to work!"

8

8

8

_Thanks to the far too easily pleased Abydos Jackson. :-)_


	15. Chapter 15

"I raise you five."

The table was a reserve piece of armour from the Mako resting atop four crates of supplies in the middle of the cargo hold, the four chairs around them were smaller crates that were surprisingly comfortable once you knew how to sit on them.

_Well, for us normal-sized_. Ashley eyed Wrex, who looked comically large atop the small crate as he with a near zen-like look stared at his cards. _Looks like a meditating turtle_...

Unfortunately it was easy not to snicker at the idea.

Ever since their latest mission and the death of admiral Kahoku the crew had been..._quieter_.

_It's more real now_. Ashley grumbled, eyeing her five cards with what had turned to glum disinterest. She could in part understand those not part of the ground team, for them the journey was a big adventure, a journey away from the constricting rules and regulations of the alliance, a chance to go out into what could almost count as unmapped territory, an area you weren't allowed to be in. Forbidden fruit and all that...but now they realised that there indeed _was_ danger, even _death_, out there.

_And on the subject of forbidden fruit_...Shepard's little revelation had made some of those on the ground team as muted. Tali hadn't been seen more then on occasions, though when Ashley had bumped into the alien she had seemed perky, if...distant. Wrex wasn't talkative usually...but he too seemed a bit...more at ease actually, comfortable with the quiet air of unexpressed fear and sombreness permeating the ship, heck, he even seemed friendlier towards Shepard, if quiet about it.

Garrus had actually been _more_ talkative, if by talkative one meant grumbling to himself while he worked on the Mako... Ashley had only caught the odd word, and apparently it had more to do with whether it was right to loot the dead or not, apparently it was a difficult issue for him.

_Which it shouldn't be_. Ashley sighed, shoulders slumping as her mind drifted back to the sight of Michael crouching over the dead Cerberus soldier, the fact that she was supposed to distract herself with the game slipping her mind. She had of course seen Michael rifle the pockets of various dead while out on missions, but she had always assumed it had been for information about Saren or..._something_! Just for money was...a bit disgusting, what made them different from the pirates and slavers they had been fighting then? Him being a Spectre?_ Politicians splitting hairs again_..._ dammit couldn't they just pay us instead_?_ Doesn't matter if it's a security risk_..._it would still be better then this_..._bullshit_!

Another sigh escaped her, as she tilted her head to the side, pretending to eye her cards. _It's not really the looting though_... She could _understand_ the need for money, she could understand that using evil people's ill-gotten gains for good was something _commendable_...what she _couldn't_ understand was the casual way Michael had simply delegated the duty to tend to the dead Kahoku to Kaidan. And then not even to actually _tend_ to the body, just to rifle the pockets...

_Disrespectful_. Ashley squirmed where she sat, it felt _wrong_ to disagree with her hero, especially on a thing so close to heart. She had believed...well..._hoped_...that the man proclaiming himself properly religious would..._act_ that way...but apparently there was no room for caring on missions, not even for respect for your _own_ dead... _Would I too be dumped in a ditch after they had taken my guns if I died_? It was a horrifying thought, one Ashley quickly pushed aside.

"Ashley, it's your turn." Blinking she looked to her right, finding Kaidan looking at her with eyebrows raised high and a small tug at his lips. _Ashley_...by now most had learnt to call her Ash...but Kaidan _insisted_ on calling her Ashley...and she actually liked it.

It wasn't like Michael, where apparently her last name was the only thing usable during missions, or the nickname spoken with such friendliness in the Normandy... The entire _thing_ with him was..._complicated_.

Kaidan, not so much.

Sighing a final third time Ashley slapped her cards onto the table. "I fold." The corner of Kaidan's lip twitched, clearly relieved that his chivalry wouldn't come in question over trying to beat her in cards.

With an effort of will Ashley forced herself not to make fun of him.

It really was too easy. She'd gotten to know the man slowly, shamefully aware that she had nearly ignored the other human on the ground team in favour of their oh so glorious Commander... And she _liked_ what she'd found, someone else to talk to, to joke with, without having to resort to the confusing and _way_ too attractive Commander, or an alien! _Joke __about__ perhaps_. Ashley smirked, Kaidan was the intelligent type, a _thinking_ man...and had a hard time dealing with blunt statements ignoring _every_ factor...while Ashley was _good_ at blunt statements. _Heh_...

It was turning into a good friendship Ashley hoped, she wasn't good at that kind of stuff...

_Shame neither of us is good at cards_. Ashley watched with some amusement as Garrus to her left shoved a large pile of the bottle-caps they used as stakes – the actual transferring of credits would be later when they had their omni-tools – into the centre of the table. Instantly Kaidan's shoulders dipped, the man already resigned to folding, unable to take a risk as he was, not to mention being easy to read. Ashley on the other hand was far too eager to take risks even with relatively bad cards, and _knew_ it...yet found herself unable to resign to a loss all that easily.

As such Garrus and Wrex were being the big players, with Wrex slightly in the lead. The Krogan was currently eyeing the Turian with narrowed eyes, it was clear the mercenary simply played for the sake of money...and he had so far played cleverly and carefully at times, _especially_ when Garrus was smirking.

To Ashley's surprise the mercenary matched Garrus' bet, his deep voice a growl: "I'm in."

Garrus arched a scaly brow, a look of hesitation crossing his face, then amusement. _He knows he'll lose_..._and he's enjoying it_. The revelation struck Ashley. _Perhaps it's the Turian way, they're all predators_... Even now the creature sat leaning forward, champing, as if ready to lunge at the bets on the table. _The game's as important as the outcome I guess_..._aliens_..._will_ _never_ _get_ _them_...

Kaidan shook his head and dropped his cards to the table, no one looking the least surprised at it.. "I'm out."

Garrus was now smiling, almost wickedly, eyeing Wrex as if the much larger alien was his next meal. The Krogan on the other hand looked back evenly, calming assessing the Turian as he rumbled: "Well officer? Are you in?"

Silence.

Then Garrus laughing as he slapped his cards to the table, shaking his head. "You're wily Wrex, I give you that." Another laugh."Outsmarted by a Krogan, the shame..."

Silence.

All hands stopping as worried eyes moved to Wrex, Garrus' mandibles twitching as he realised the insult he'd so casually thrown out.

Wrex didn't seem to notice, or rather, _chose_ not to notice, his large mouth turning into a smirk as he gathered up his winnings: "Krogan know how to win, I thought you _Turians_ would be intimately familiar with that by now?" He shot Garrus a small punch, which the Turian took with surprising grace and a smile, despite being nearly knocked over by the powerful Krogan.

A small laugh escaped Kaidan as the man deftly moved to pick up the cards and the deck. "Oh well, another hand? I haven't yet lost _another_ two hundred credits..." He winced playfully at that, all of them well aware that none currently had any use for their credits, but that it would certainly sting later.

As one the other three nodded their heads, knowing there was nothing else to do aboard the ship unless you wanted to dig through the ship like Tali or read until your eyes bled like Michael.

As Kaidan started to mix the cards Garrus suddenly spoke up with a somewhat amused tone: "You know, this isn't how Turian crews relieve tension."

Three people groaned, even Wrex joining in with a roll of his large eyes as Ashley bumped her head into the table as Kaidan muttered, obviously struggling to keep his tone polite: "We're _trying_ not to think about that Garrus...I..._great_..." He huffed – the polite behaviour he'd kept up towards the Turian clearly struggling – and dropped the cards onto the table, hands coming up to interlock behind the back of his head as he asked to no one in particular: "...what now?"

Garrus shot the man a glare, apparently not understanding what he'd done wrong, or perhaps, simply annoyed with the human pointing it out. _Those two_...

Ashley opened her mouth to intervene when Wrex suddenly spoke up, the Krogan catching onto the tension as well as he turned to Garrus. "How _do_ Turians relieve tension?"

A final withering look at Kaidan...and Garrus turned to regard the Krogan, shrugging as he replied: "Violence mostly, Turian ships have lots of discipline, people need to vent."

"I didn't know that." Wrex tilted his massive head to the side, a small smile on his lips. "Perhaps you guys _do_ have a quad?" Ashley arched an eyebrow. _Quad_? Given Kaidan's grimace it was probably something disgusting... "What kind of things do you do?"

"Duelling with blunted ancient weapons, at times using guns using power-inhibitors to stop the shots from being lethal..." _Ouch_. Ashley remembered having being struck by one of those during training, it had left a bruise of _months_. Garrus however only shrugged at that. "Most prefer full contact sparring however, once you've punched whoever been rubbing you wrong..." He threw Kaidan a quickl look. "...for a while...things ease down."

"This happens across ranks?" Ashley ventured, baffled. If one had a chance to strike an officer...she had a hard time imagining things staying in order after such things.

"Yes." Garrus nodded, then tilted his head to the side as he drawled. "_Well_...when it comes to those of far higher rank there is a strict social etiquette against it, and most high ranked officers wouldn't want to ruin discipline by being drawn into such things..."

A small chuckle rumbled out of Wrex: "Heh, that's interesting, so Kaidan, think you could take on the Commander?"

The man flinched as if struck, eyes widening. "What? I could _never_...he's a superior officer...I mean...I'd do my best of course but..." He shrugged, looking awkward, much to Ashley's and Garrus' amusement.

"That's what the one who'll lose says." Wrex pointed out with a smirk, jabbing a clawed finger in Kaidan's direction.

To his credit Kaidan didn't look the least offended – _good, at least he's secure with his masculinity, too many aren't_... – as he shrugged with a small smile on his lips.

"And you Ash?"

To her surprise Ashley flinched, even though she _knew_ the question would come. _The big hero_..._Kahoku_..._but_..._yummy_..._ugh_... The thoughts flickered through her mind as she watched Wrex's amused look, the Krogan obviously daring her to be bolder then the Lieutenant.

_You're a Williams girl, act like it_.

Straightening Ashley smirked and looked the monstrous alien in the eyes as she shrugged and with a casual tone replied: "Hey, I'm a damn goddess in close combat, I'd rip him apart." _Thank God he's not around to_-

"Oh is that so?" The familiar voice was _just_ behind her...and Ashley stiffened, a jolt of fear shooting through her even as she saw Wrex grin.

_You damn lizard-faced_..._God_...

"I asked you a question, marine." Michael's voice was amused rather then strict, yet his hand was heavy as it dropped on Ashley's shoulder. "You think you can take me on?"

_God-God-God_...Ashley swallowed, eyes darting from the grinning Wrex to a smirking Garrus and then to a sympathetically looking Kaidan...none of them any help at the moment. _It's just a question girl, you haven't actually struck him_..._no_ _regulations_ _broken_..._nothing_ _wrong_..._nope_..._just_ _talking_ _about_ _beating_ _up_ _your_ _Commanding_ _officer_... She almost winced. _Kill me now_...

"Well?"

_Come now, deep breath, grow some backbone_. "Yes sir!" Ashley was painfully aware that she couldn't bring herself to turn and look at the man.

"Oh?" The Commander was clearly amused at the thought, making Ashley grit her teeth even as Garrus begun to mirror Wrex's grin. "Is that so?"

_Yep, just dig that hole deeper_..._go_ _on_..._you_ _know_ _you_ _have_ _to_. "Yes, I would beat you to a pulp! Sir!"

"Hmmm..." Michael's hand pressed down on her shoulder, then disappeared, the sound of his walking making her turn her head to see him saunter towards the elevator, his voice _still_ carrying that damn amusement in it as he said: "Very well...we'll see...in an hour then Chief."

"Yes sir!" Ashley barked automatically, her pride urging the reply out. "Looking forward to it sir!"

When the door to the elevator closed she blinked however.

_Wait_..._what_ _did_ _I_ _just_ _agree_ _to_?

8

8

8

_Well this is a fine mess I've gotten yourself into_.

The central area of the cargo hold had been rearranged so that virtually every crate of supplies had been moved to form a circle around a large part of the floor., giving much space for the coming battle.

Yet annoyingly, still enough space for more then half the crew to crowd around them, furthermore Michael had for some reason allowed surprisingly many of them to watch instead of doing their usual work...even _Joker_ was with them!

Ashley shot a glare the pilot's way as the man, hobbling along on his crutch, held up a large wad of papers with numbers scribbled on them. "Come now people! Place your bets! The pride of the blitz versus the Amazon of marines! Two to one in favour of the Pride, but the Amazon looks _hungry_!"

"Oh take your bets and shove them!" Ashley shook her head with a growl of irritation, right knee bending low as she stretched her left one to the limit, holding her right wrist and bending the arm behind her head._ He's my idol_..._and I'm going to __fight__ him_..._I'm an idiot_...

"Ha! I think maybe you should make yourself scarce afterwards, Joker!" Michael quipped from the other end of the 'ring'.

Already finished with his stretching the man was now grinning as he _posed_ _around_ in his tank-top and shorts, drawing hoots from the crews, not to mention a few _whistles_ from the female ones.

Not that Ashley could blame them, if she wasn't so busy begrudging her own stupidity she too would have eyed up the slab of alpha meat so brazenly on display before her...as it was she instead focused on limbering up, ignoring the way Joker looked up and down her shorts and tank-top dressed self. _Damn lecher_... "Nah, a few broken bones is worth the price to have _that_ puma over me, you're one lucky man Commander."

A near animalistic growl escaped Ashley at that, but she kept quiet, trying to calm herself before the sparring...and finding herself far from it. _This is annoying_..._I'm_ _not_ _a_ _damn_ _circus_ _performer_!

"Then perhaps you want to switch places?" Michael grinned the pilot's way as his arms stretched back behind him, making the massive barrel that was his chest press against his tank-top, drawing another set of whistles.

Joker shot Ashley a final look – she glared back – and then quickly replied: "I'm good."

A few laughs greeted the cowardly comment.

As Ashley continued her stretching she couldn't help but notice the atmosphere. It was happy, caught up in the 'entertainment'..._cheerful_. The recent sombreness forgotten.

_I swear it's like Michael _– She blinked – _planned_ _this_... At the other end the man was grinning at her, making her grit her teeth as she realised what he was doing. _Oh I'm going to beat you to an inch within your life for this_...

"Kaidan! Any bets!"

The Lieutenant spluttered at the question. Standing a bit to the side of the others, far in the back of the crowd, as if he really didn't want to be there but couldn't help himself, he looked a bit helpless as his eyes darted between the two fighters: "Bet...I couldn't possible..."

Ashley felt a growl escape her throat: "Bet on me or I'll fight you next."

The laughs greeting the comment eased away some of her irritation with being a pawn about to be beaten up for the sake of morale...a _bit_. "I...fine...a hundred on Ashley."

"Ha! Two hundred on the Commander!" An engineer with pale complexion countered, the man grinning widely.

"Two hundred on Ashley." The marine flinched, looking over to where Garrus stood, arms cross and leaning back against a wall, looking awfully smug as he looked at her. "The spirited one always wins." _Huh_? _Well I'll be_...

"Wrong, the biggest Varren is the alpha for a reason." Wrex countered, the giant alien towering over Joker as he grinned down at the pilot. "Two on Shepard."

Ashley's eased mood frazzled as Wrex's bet was followed by a shower of other crewmen's bets, all in favour of the Commander.

_Great_... She couldn't help but call out: "Hey Tali!" The Quarian, nearly hidden behind Michael's bulk, flinched guiltily as she looked up at the marine. "Some solidarity here, girl!"

"I...erm..." The Quarian shook her head before replying properly: "Yes, fifty credits on Ashley..."

"_Fifty_!" Ashley repeated, scowling, then found a smile sneak up on her lips as her exclamation brought a laugh from the crowd. _Heh, okay, so this might be fun_... "Are you trying to insult me!"

"I..." The Quarian girl fiddled with her fingers before her, looking awfully small among the others, her head tilting to look over the massive bulk of Shepard...then back to her. With a small sigh the girl's shoulders dropped. "...fine...a hundred on Ashley."_ Oh she did __not__ just wave those credits goodbye_..._now I __have__ to beat up that jackass_!'

_Okay, so focus then_... She looked over at Michael as she finished her stretching, with her now standing straight he still had an entire head of height on her. _He has the reach_. Her gaze moved to his arms, the pale limbs were thick and _bulging_ with muscles, nearly monstrous in thickness she wouldn't put it beyond them to bend an iron bar._Definitively__ the strength_... She licked her lips. _But_ _I_ _have_ – the man feigned a lunge, lighting fast, as he continued to pose for the hooting crowd – _not__ the speed and agility apparently_...

_And_ _as_ _for_ _skill_..._he's an N7_...

_So_..._ – _she licked her lips again, eyeing Michael as he took a step towards her, grinning with confidence, all full of barely contained power – ..._I'm screwed_.

"You're supposed to _fight_ him, not _eat_ him!" Joker's comment cut through Ashley's thoughts, making her face flush as laughter broke out among the onlookers. _You son of a_...

"Right, after I've trashed mister giant here you're next Joker." Ashley replied with a heated growl as she widened her stance and took on a defensive posture at her end of the ring.

There were a few laughs at that, but they quickly quieted down as all eyes turned to Shepard, the Commander striding towards Ashley as if nothing was amiss his hands hanging to his sides as he began to cross the space between the two.

Ashley wavered. _Dammit_..._I don't want to fight him, he's my Commander, hell, my idol, I shouldn't_... The man's grin _widened_. _Oh you cocky bastard_..._Williams' don't go down without a fight_!

She found herself moving, instinct drilled into her making her right foot move up to her left, then push her forth as her left flew up in a kick.

It was _high_, _fast_...and _missed_.

Michael, actually looking startled, jumped back, head tilting back to avoid the darting foot, hands coming up to protect-

Still moving on instinct Ashley slammed her left foot down onto the floor and spun with what momentum her attack had drawn, sending her right leg sweeping round...with a thump the heel of her foot struck Michael in the chest.

It was like kicking a wall.

Holding back the wince of surprise as much as pain Ashley dropped back into a defensive posture while watching Michael stumble three steps back, much to the surprised cheers of the onlookers.

_I just struck a superior officer_... Ashley maintained her stance, but hesitated, watching Michael straighten as he rubbed his chest with the flat of his palm, a grin stealing its way to his face as he looked back at her. His voice was low, amused, and _dangerous_. "Oh now it's _on_..."

_Huh_?

There was no time for further hesitation, for worries, for _thought_.

The space Ashley had won back was suddenly her only escape as Michael came at her, a methodical machine _towering_ over her as he advanced step by step, his fists thrusting rams coming at her from every direction.

Keeping her arms close to her chest Ashley ducked, swayed, twisted, always leading the force of his blows away from her rather then daring to block it head on. _He can't keep this pace up, he can't_!She retreated step by step, her forearms tingling as they blocked blow after blow, even _with_ her leading the force away it felt as if she would soon loose all feeling in them from the darting jabs holding such a punch...

But he _didn't_ tire, and with widening eyes Ashley felt the heels of her feet hit the barrels behind her as she came to the edge of the ring. _Shit_!

With a growl of defiance she ducked under the next jab, let the second smash into her left shoulder...and pushed both hands forth, shoving at the Commander for space.

She managed to gain a _single_ step.

Then Michael recovered and moved to attack...

Only for Ashley to fall forward with her right shoulder first, tucking herself into a ball as she rolled with the impact against the floor.

She rolled between Michael's legs...and then came up like a spring.

He whirled about, blinking in surprise.

And she grinned back as her left foot shot out.

The man grunted and staggered to retain his balance as the inside of his right knee took the blow, still surprised by Ashley's manoeuvre and off balance by the kick he didn't have time to raise his hands in defence as Ashley followed the small kick with a wide right hook, her entire body twisting with the swing.

A _crack_, her knuckles stinging...and Michael staggered to the right, his jaw glowing red where she'd struck.

_Ha_!_ Not so cocky __now__ are you_! Ashley stepped closer, her left fist swinging widely at Michael's dazed head-

A thump and she found her body twisting further then planned as there was no impact, her swing being led past Michael's head by his left forearm as he twisted back round to face her...

_Pain_!

Ashley doubled over, Michael's right fist having smashed into her stomach, under her own wild swing.

It _was_ a battering ram! Ashley found herself gasping for breath, her abdominal muscles twitching even as she struggled to rise and fight as Michael's both hands came to rest on her back and press her fo-

_Pain_!

A wheeze escaped her as she felt Michael's left knee dig into her stomach, the hands on her back, pressing her further against the powerful strike.

_Act_...!

A defiant growl, more like a whimper, escaped her as her arms came down to grip at the leg smashed into her, holding it tight as she with a small cry of pain forced her stricken form to twist to the left.

A surprised grunt...and Michael fell forward...only to roll with the impact and come up in readiness a few steps away from her.

And _grinning_.

_Playing around are you_? Ashley managed to straighten, pride forcing her to forget the pain, to glare at the man. _I'll __show__ you how stupid that is_.

A raised eyebrow was added to the grin, a question.

Ashley jumped forth, left foot coming up in a sweeping high kick...only to pull it back as Michael moved to block. Instead she dropped into a crouch, using the momentum of the swinging feint to have her right leg sweep low and strike Michael's right foot.

He stumbled for but a moment...then nearly fell as Ashley shot up from the floor, both hands coming palms first against his chest with the force of her entire leaping body behind them.

As it was he simply stumbled backwards, hands coming up in readiness for more of those lethal jabs...

And Ashley lunged forth, coming in low with her own fists snapping away quick punches, drumming away at the hard abdomen of her foe before she jumped away from the hands coming down in an attempt to catch her.

He was breathing heavily now, slightly bent forward, but not clutching the stomach she'd slammed away at, trying to conceal how much pain she'd really inflicted.

He wasn't grinning any more.

And Ashley shot him a coy smile, circling him carefully.

A moment of circling...and Michael growled as he came at her like a raging bull.

Ashley moved to the right, hands coming to reach for his outstretched left arm, to teach him the penalty for such foolish attacks...only to find the man coming to a sudden stop as the arm swung around, the back of it hitting her across the face in a dazing slap even as his right hand found her left hand's wrist.

She gasped, her chest suddenly smashing into Michael's back as he twisted, her wrist feeling as if it was being wrenched clean off...then cried out as she was sent flying.

With a crash she struck the floor...rolled with the impact...and came up on all fours, every limb flexed, ready to pounce, as she looked up at Michael from a bang of freed black hair.

The man met her gaze, blue eyes nearly glowing with ferocity...and something _else_...and advanced.

She leapt forth, at him, at those _eyes_...

The hands closing around her wrists were vices, keeping her reaching fingers inches away from their targets, pressing her arms upwards as he growled into her face, his head pulling back for a head-butt...

With a twist of her hip Ashley slammed her right thigh against his crotch, awkwardly as she stood it wasn't as hard as she'd wanted it, but it still made his grip slacken as he grunted and wavered.

Thankful for the modern armoured gloves allowing for the luxury of long fingernails Ashley used those in her right hand to rake Michael's face, drawing red marks across his face even as she pulled her left hand free from his grip...before slamming the palm of her hand into his side with a wicked grin.

A growl...and the hand still holding Ashley's right hand resumed its vice-like grip as it twisted and pulled down, forcing her body to twist with the awkward movement or have the limb be wrenched out of its socket. His other hand moving upwards...

With a growl of her own Ashley's left hand shot up, grabbing Michael's collar and pulling him closer as her own head drew back...and then shot forward, her forehead hitting bone and making the man grunt in pain.

The grip on her right wrist didn't slacken though, forcing her to twist where she stood as the pain shot through her limb, making her wince...and then gasp as Michael's other hand gripped her throat.

He spun, twisting to the left and dropping low, making Ashley gasp once again as a sense of vertigo shot through her...before her shoulder blades were slammed into his leg, putting her fall to an abrupt stop as she found herself pinned by a kneeling Michael.

She still had her left arm free though, the hand shooting up, trying to wrench Michael's hand off her throat, then digging into the flesh until her nails drew blood...and the man only grunted as he tightened his grip.

Her vision flickered...

_No_!

With a wheezing grunt she brought her left leg up, kicking it high, the toe of her boot hitting Michael in the back of his head-

A gasp and she fell onto her back, her lungs burning as fresh air flowed into them, her free hands coming up to rub the soreness, the left dabbing hot blood upon it...

_Get up_...

She rolled onto her stomach, pushing herself up on all four as she swung her head around like a searching animal.

Michael wasn't far away, he too on all four, though one hand was up behind his head, rubbing the blow her foot had given him. His eyes were on _her_ though..._predatory_ eyes...

A jolt of..._something_...shot through Ashley as she returned the look in kind, the left hand coming up to feel her sore throat, the blood dabbed upon it...

His chest was _heaving_ with exertion...but she knew he had _more_ to give...as did _she_...

"Maybe we should call it before they kill one another?" Ashley blinked, as did Michael, both looking up at the source of the voice, finding Garrus eyeing them with some concern.

_Ohhh_... – Ashley swallowed – _I forgot about the audience_...

Wrex had his head tilted to one side, the large alien smirking as he added: "Or mate."

_God_... Ashley let her head drop to try and conceal the crimson blush on her cheeks even as a some of the crew dared a few tittering laughs. _Kill me now_...

And further ahead Joker groaned: "Dammit...this means the bets are off doesn't it?"

She managed a smirk at that, still struggling with her blush. _Well_..._at least __something__ positive came out of this_...

"Right..." Michael's voice sounded a bit..._uncertain_...looking up she found the man rising to his feet, distinctly avoiding looking at her...his face having a slight reddish tint to it all of a sudden. "...back to work you lazy bums! No more gaping!" It was called out in a friendly tone, yet sounded a bit _too_ eager...drawing a few laughs from the crew as they reluctantly moved to disperse.

Ashley's smirk twitched and she looked down again, drawing a deep breath as she failed to gather her wits.

_Okay_..._don't draw any far-fetched conclusions from that_..._don't be all girly and silly and_...

She looked up again, watching Michael looking down at her with a flustered look, looking as if he _wanted_ to help her up, but _worried_ about doing so.

She found her heart skip a beat.

...d_ammit_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her eager support._


	16. Chapter 16

Tali was taking a break.

It felt a bit embarrassing to just sit down on a crate, another acting a backrest, while there was _work_ to be done, but at the moment she just _couldn't_ make herself get up...

_How many Cerberus facilities have we hit now_? _A dozen_? _Two_? _Keelah_..._can't_ _remember_.

Stretching out her legs before her, feeling the strain of tired muscles as she did so, Tali found herself suppressing a yawn as she rested her head against the crate behind her.

The cargo hold was..._quiet_. _Everything__ on this ship is__ so_..._quiet_... But now it was even quieter then normal, an air of comfortable exhaustion residing in the room...even _with_ her air-filters Tali could _taste_ it.

It was no surprise, ever since the death of the human admiral and the slight stop in activity among the crew – _one would think the death of a single member of the species wouldn't be such a big deal, humans and their luxuries_... – the pace had shifted to one of intense activity, they had jumped from planet to planet, torn through the Cerberus bases they had found, and when not they took on pirates, mercenaries and slavers...almost in passing it seemed.

Shepard had pushed the pace...and Tali was actually wondering how long the rest of the crew could keep up.

To her left Garrus was sitting on the floor, back against one of the Mako's wheels, cleaning the sniper rifle that had gotten so much practice as of late...though it was with slow and calm movements, the man was not really cleaning the weapon as much as he was enjoying a rest. His moves were precise though, not letting the weapon become ruined even now...though he was taking his time, savouring his work, or rather, his rest.

At the other end of the cargo hold there was a surprisingly small wheezing sound as Wrex slept, the Krogan's snore a low whistling as he lay on his side on the floor, head propped up against his helmet._ Guess the crest atop his skull makes him insensitive to the hard surface_..._sort_ _of_ _like_ _me_... Tali found her hand moving up to her helmet, touching it lightly before her hand dropped down with a frown of irritation on her lips.

She's caught herself doing that more and more...back in the Flotilla she never really _thought_ about her helmet and the suit... Sure, it defined every Quarian's life even on the fleet...but when _everyone_ had the _same_ handicap no´one really thought about it, it was..._normal_. Even away from her home it hadn't been difficult ignoring it, she had been the outsider on every planet she'd arrived at...it had been _natural_ for her to be different.

But _here_...here she _wasn't_ an outsider, she was _accepted_...even _popular_...though she hardly dared think that in case it would prove an illusion, that the crew was just being nice to the little Quarian. But no...she knew she was appreciated on the ship, _liked_...

Yet she was _still_ different...and now there was no outsider status that could explain it, she just _was_...and it constantly made her aware of _what_ was different...and she didn't much care for it.

_I miss home_..._maybe that's why they send us out on the pilgrimage_? _Just to feel how_..._we don't fit in anywhere else_?

It was a depressing thought. The _first_ place she had felt welcome in since the _start_ of her pilgrimage...and she was still _different_, someone defined by _what_ she was as much, if not _more_, then _who_ she was...

_I wish I was human_... She shook the horrible thought aside, it was a rebellious thing, not befitting a woman of the Quarian people, never mind the daughter of an admiral that had been taught to do everything for her people, to love them more then her own family! Yet she knew the thought would return, it was a plaguing little thing...promising fantasies of freedom from a prison of survival and struggle...which had no place in a responsible adult.

As if to taunt her Ashley, sitting a few feet away on a crate, her back against one of the wide pillars dominating the centre of the cargo hold, yawned out loud as she leant back, her hands digging into her black mane of head-fur Michael had called hair... The long carpet was freed from the usual bun the woman kept it in, her uniform wrinkly upon her body, the woman apparently too tired to have put on a new one.

Tali found herself envious.

_I __never__ get to change my suit_..._sure, it's kept clean by internal washing_..._but I'd love to try wearing something wrinkly, to choose something nice_..._something __different_. _Keelah_..._just to take clothes __off__ for once_... She held back the blush at the thought, her eyes darting to Ashley as the woman with a sigh shook her hair, scratching an itch at her scalp. The black mane was so..._beautiful_... _Wish I could do something to my quills_..._colour them or shorten them or_..._just have them __seen__ for once_...

_This isn't helping_...Sighing she looked away from the other woman. Normally she _liked_ Ashley's company, sure the woman was a bit too blunt and forward...but that was mostly _fun_...

Not currently though, nor for the last few days. Ever since that – Tali shook off a scowl – 'fight'...she had found herself somewhat ambivalent towards Ashley. _Makes no sense_...she shrugged off the jab of illogical dislike as she spoke: "Tired?"

"You kidding?" Ashley chuckled, eyes dropping slightly as she looked back at Tali with a weary turn of her head. "Michael is working me harder then a fucking drill Sergeant..." Her head cocked to the side, a small smile on her lips. _Content_. "...not that that's _bad_..." Tali shrugged aside the spike of irritation. "...but _damn_..."

"He's worked us _all_ hard." Garrus muttered, not looking up from his rifle, though Tali could tell he wasn't paying it much attention by now, judging by the slight fiddling of his hands. "I don't think there's a Cerberus facility left in the entire Terminus system."

"That's the thing with roaches." Ashley crossed her arms over that obscene chest human women seemed gifted with – Tali hadn't dared asking Michael about that before – her stance that of a woman knowing her trade and accepting its problems. "You can never fully exterminate them."

"I'd call _Rachni_ roaches." Garrus muttered, shrugging in disinterest, his correction automatic. "Cerberus is more like...extremists."

"Whatever, that wasn't the point of the analogy Garrus, and you know it." Ashley sighed, rolling her eyes. "Why do I bother...?"

"Because-"

"Shut up Garrus." Ashley sighed, hands coming up to rub her temples._ Another thing I can't __do_...Tali suppressed the bitterness as the human woman looked over at her. "I must say I'm impressed Tali, considering that you've been working non-stop here on the ship and on ground missions I'm surprised you're not asleep already."

_Guilt_. It was a small jab of it, but Tali forced herself to acknowledge it._ I'm being irritated with her as she's caring for me_..._and I don't even understand the __reason__ for my irritation. Father would never want me to be like that_..._we're better then that_. "I think Quarians need less sleep then humans, and my suit's been compensating any tiredness..."

"Wait..._drugs_?" There was a shift in Ashley's stance as she sat, _disagreement_... "Tali, _honey_, you really shouldn't..."

Tali waved the lecture aside with a tired hand. "No, not drugs, it's normal Quarian medicines, _herbs_, the suit has some in storage for instant injection..." _Shouldn't mention that I'm fast running out of it_...

"On Turian ships it's fine to use drugs, as long as it doesn't affect your performance." Garrus pointed out, now carefully laying his sniper rifle down next to him as he looked at the two women. "I for one still have trouble seeing why using them is _inherently_ wrong...aren't _medicines_ drugs?"

"I...yes..._sure_..." Ashley shook her head, obviously baffled that she'd have to explain something so obvious...and Tali watched with some interest, she too interested in the answer. "...but just using them constantly, as an every day occurrence...it messes the body up, and then you crash, _hard_...it's dangerous."

"Not if you use caution and are thoughtful about doses." Garrus countered, though Tali could tell there was no heat in the argument, the Turian was just prodding the human, finding some sort of amusement out of arguing for argument's sake. _He's an odd Turian_...

"Too much of a risk." Ashley growled, stance irritated. "Why risk death or addiction because of such a small thing?"

Garrus shifted, amused. _Oh dear_... "Well if you want every advantage you can get it's not-"

"So, _Shepard_..." Tali interrupted, stopping the argument in the making from escalating as her head snapped left and right to make sure the two were looking at her. "...how do you think _he_ does it? He's leading every mission, not being cycled around for rest like the rest of us..." _That __is__ odd actually, how __does__ he do it_? _Perhaps_..._hmmm_..._I don't know enough about humans to theorize_... "Ashley? Any ideas?"

The woman laughed, looking amused. "Well obviously he's a superman, haven't you seen the _size_ of that guy? He has too much energy stored up..."

"Maybe he knows the value of drugs." Garrus replied, the shift of irritation in Ashley clearly amusing him. "Or perhaps he simply sleeps a lot when we're not watching. Well _I_ for one don't watch that often...Ashley?"

The human woman's cheeks got redder at that, but she shook it off with a low growl. "Perhaps, how should _I_ know?" Tali grimaced, happy that she had her visor for once. "I'm telling you, as far as I'm concerned he's doing a great job, and he's not faltering in the least, why worry?"

"Because it's..._odd_." Tali shrugged, then looked away. _What do __I__ know_? _He's a human after __all_..._for all I know human men are capable of this, though considering Kaidan_..._no_..._it_ _has_ _to_ _be_ _something_..._off_. "Sorry, Quarian, we're a social people, which means we like to meddle I guess..."

"Oh don't beat yourself up." Ashley smiled as she spoke the term Tali still found a bit odd. _Why would I beat myself_...? The hand coming up to pat Tali on the shoulder was a friendly gesture though, which Tali accepted with a struggling smile hidden behind her visor. "If it makes you feel any better I'll keep an eye on him..." _No, it won't_. "...though I doubt it's necessary..."

"Me neither." Garrus added, shrugging. "Though you've got to admit it's quite impressive considering that we three are about to fall asleep and-"

A thump and the door to the elevator opened, revealing a grinning Michael jogging out even before the door fully opened.

The three immediately stirred, the air, so tired, suddenly energized... _How does he __do__ that_! _Such_..._influence_...

"Hey guys!" The man came to a stop before the three, grinning like a madman. "I have it! We're going to the Artmis Tau system!"

Garrus was suddenly on his feet, eyes afire with a grey glow. "You've got a lead on Saren?"

"No." Michael, shook his head, but was still grinning, enjoying his victory, his body nearly shaking with pent up energy, making Tali feel her own weariness lift like an old cloak. "But Benezia!" He raised his hand, pointing a finger at the ceiling. _Which means it's something important, not an accusation as when he points it at you_..._humans_ _are_ _fascinating_... "Or rather, her _daughter_!"

"She has a daughter?" Ashley unnecessarily asked as she got to her feet, looking confused. "How will she be of any help?"

"She's a _lead_." Garrus replied with a scoff, for once the one frustrated with the other.

"Exactly!" Michael replied, eager face whipping to the Turian, finger still raised. "And we're going to get her _before_ Benezia does!" He finally dropped his hands, but the glow of fervent energy was still around him as he looked at them with eyes afire with excitement. "So prepare! We've already made the jump and I want everyone ready for immediate drop!"

"Right Shepard." Tali nodded, feeling her chest swell with an eagerness mirroring the man's own. _Amazing how leaders can do that_... She already found her hand moving to the gun strapped to her hip, ready to fight, to win, the weariness _forgotten_.

The man shot her a short and thankful nod, then grinned at the three. "This is our _chance_, we _finally_ have a chance to pick up the trail!"

A pause, him looking them over with a prideful stance...and then he whirled about and ran for the elevator, passing, and kicking, Wrex awake. "Wake up! We're in for a fight! Ha! I _knew_ reading pays off!"

Wrex muttered, snorted, then turned his head to glare at the man already in the elevator. "Ever _read_ what happens when you kick a sleeping Krogan?"

Tali found herself laughing.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her keen help._


	17. Chapter 17

"Oh look, fireworks."

Tali found herself turning her head away from the radar at Wrex's amused mutter, eyes narrowing as the cloudy sky of Therum was lit up by a massive fireball. On either side of it the once sleek design of a Geth cruiser begun to list downwards as the ship was rent in two and began to fall towards the planet itself.

_Ha_! It was always a pleasure to see her ancestral enemies die, and for an entire _cruiser_ to go down...behind her visor she began to grin.

"Retreat to safe distance." Michael's order clipped through the fiery demise of the cruiser now falling towards the planet, the man not looking up from his controls of the Mako as the vehicle continued its descent towards the planet.

Joker's voice rang through their com-link, loud, a clear grin in his voice: "They won't even see the tail-lights!"

With that there was a glow of firing engines among the clouds above them...and the Normandy was gone, hiding from the remaining two Geth cruisers that they had discovered in close orbit around the planet.

As always there was the horrible realisation of them now being left on their own...all the more poignant by the feel of the belts of the chair Tali was sitting on digging into her shoulders as they continued their free fall towards what she could only _trust_ to be a proper surface. _At least I'm used to it by now_..._not_ _to_ _Michael's_ _driving_ _but_ – _no_, _shouldn't_ _think_ _about_ _that_...

Her stomach was a tight knot. There was no doubt about it, this mission was _important_, the first real lead on Saren, the first shot of catching up! And now all the more dangerous by the discovery of Geth swarming the planet that held no interest but for that of – like the one they were looking for – archaeologists. _The child of a powerful Matriarch and leader becoming an archaeologist...is that running away_?_ I couldn't __fathom__ just leaving my father and his work like that_... _Perhaps it's just a cover_... Tali shrugged as best as the pulling belts allowed, there was no point thinking about it.

Though the more important thing pulling her stomach into a knot was the fact that of _everyone_ he could have picked for the primary team...Michael had chosen Wrex and _her_! And it _wasn't_ because she was the admiral's daughter and it was right and proper, or a way of kissing up to the father – Michael knew of her father from their talk, but had only joked about her being nobility, she didn't think he _really_ understood...and she preferred it that way – but because of facts! When it came to missions he knew their abilities, judged them without any other thinking but of efficiency...and he had picked _her_! _I'm an important part, and became so on my __own__ merit_... The mere thought sent a warm feeling down her spine.

The pride and happiness was easily tempered by worry. _Keelah, let me not fail_...

Guiltily she snapped her head back to stop admiring the death of the Geth cruiser and return to her work. The radar was acting up, not surprisingly given the Geth's love of using jamming signals...frowning, Tali activated her omni-tool and connected to the Mako's computer, fingers already moving to activate the prepared program in assisting the human computer.. _Jam __this__ you obscenities_...

"Recon team, status." Michael's voice was curt, short, nearly mechanical. Tali had gotten used to it, even finding comfort in the calm and precise way he executed his work, minimizing risks while making sure one got the work done, admirable in skill as much as in reliance. _The Geth were reliable before the rebellion too_...she glanced over at the man.

There was a slight crackle in the voice speaking up through the com-link – Tali's fingers darted over the controls, compensating for the effect of the rocky terrain below – and Garrus' voice came in, loud and clear: "Moved on from entry-point on schedule, no opposition so far." A slight pause. "Rough estimate showing Geth ground troops concentrated around a small complex two clicks to your north-north-west, there is fighting around it, unknown who's defending, probably the dig-team though. Orders?"

This time Michael paused, then nodded to himself, decision made. "Proceed with scouting, do _not_ engage until primary team's moving in."

"Affirmative, proceeding as planned." Garrus replied, a hint of thoughtfulness in his voice, before the radio clipped back into silence.

Tali, not understanding the undercurrent of the military blabber, turned back to the radar, finding the screen slowly coming in better...and two blips on it. "Commander! Two infantrymen at ten!" _That human jargon is good when you want information out quickly though_...

"I see them." Tali turned her head at the calm answer, finding her throat go dry as she saw the Mako listing forward at a near vertical level, making the brown ground of the approaching planet grow dangerously fast through the wind-shield.

The two blots there, a red Geth wielding a rocket launcher and a white one already firing its assault rifle, grew exponentially as Tali stared, heart in her throat. _Why couldn't this be a ship that could __fly_?_ Then I wouldn't have a problem_...

A rocket flew away from the red Geth, the hurtling missile cutting through the air above the falling Mako, the smoke covering the wind-shield, momentarily blinding them. "Commander..." Tali swallowed.

Then the smoke was gone, revealing the ground. _Close_ ground! The two Geth looked up at them, Tali now able to see the glow from their lenses as they looked up at them, the white now continuously firing as the red reloaded its launcher.

Mostly she saw the _ground_ however... "Commander!"

"Calm down." It was an _order_...and Tali's stomach lurched as the thrusters beneath the Mako fired, making the vehicle hurtle forward as well as plane out with a violent swing.

She nearly screamed as the ground swept before the wind-shield, then replaced by dark clouds...before they crashed into the ground with a crunch that reverberated through the Mako... _Keelah_! Pulled left and right Tali held onto the belts digging into her, begging the ancestors that they wouldn't roll over...

And then found the vehicle's movement smoothened as the Mako's wheels began to roll, the armoured carrier moving on, _unmolested. Did he_...? Wrex's bark of a laugh confirmed it: "Heh, flattened Geth." The Krogan shot Michael an approving look even as his clawed hands worked the controls of the turret, checking for movement of anything the radar might have missed. _My__ radar misses nothing_... Tali smirked in satisfaction as Wrex snorted with disappointment at the lack of targets.

Michael didn't seem to have heard the Krogan's approval though, his hands on control, eyes fully focused on his driving. "Main path uneven, brace for impact."

_Not agai_- With a thump Tali was thrown back against her seat as the vehicle dipped into a sudden drop of the ground, before being thrown forward as the Mako whirred upwards out of the hole. _Oh_..._ugh_...

Michael glanced back for the briefest of moments. "Targets ahead?"

Noticing the small grey shapes far off in the distance Tali forced herself to look back to the radar, instead of focusing on her shifting stomach... _I hate his driving_..._I know it's supposed to keep us alive_..._but_ _I_ _hate_ _it_... "Yes Commander, five infantry, one armature."

The man nodded, turning back to his driving without comment.

A small flash on the radar, centred around the large blip. "Armature firing Commander." _Please don't_..._the shields can take it, there's no Geth around to ambush or overwhelm us, there's no need_...

Of course Michael couldn't hear her thoughts, nor would he have heeded them if she had given voice to her protest. His words were inevitable: "Taking evasive manoeuvres." _Here we go_...

The Mako lurched to the right, Tali's _stomach_ to the _left_, seemingly going _outside_ the vehicle as she was pushed against the controls of her station. _I_..._ugh_..._hate_ _this_ _part_... "One down." Wrex muttered, shooting a smirk in Tali's direction before his gaze went back to his controls. She shot back a murderous glare in turn, then forced herself to concentrate on the radar, the _one_ steady thing in the room it seemed...

"Concentrate fire on infantry." Shepard replied, his voice calm and cool, in stark contrast to his crazy and heated driving as he pushed the Mako to veer to the left...only to cut to the right as another blast of energy from the Armature hissed past their bumper. "Upcoming cliff..." _Please_ _don't_... "...increasing throttle." ..._do_ _that_.

Gripping the controls of her station tightly Tali found a small squeal escape her as the vehicle jerked with an impact, then begun to _list_...

"Got two, three in total." Wrex's voice was distant as the Mako lay at a near eighty degrees to the left, the entire thing rattling as they drove upon the cliff-side. Tali however couldn't concentrate on it as she held onto her dashboard with her right hand – gripping it tightly in an effort to steady herself – while her left darted down to press against her rebellious stomach. _Must_ _we_..._ugh_..._and_ _with cliffs there's always a_-

"Bump ahead." Michael muttered...and Tali couldn't suppress the moan slipping from her lips.

Then the world jerked, twisted...and they were _spinning_, the entire _planet_ spinning, _universe_ spinning...

_Don't throw up_...Bending forward Tali clutched at her stomach, her visor pressing against the dashboard of her station, her forehead coming to push against the cold glass. It didn't help...her stomach lurching dangerously fast. _Keelah_..._not_ _again_..._not_ _now_!

"All infantry down." They thumped into the ground to Michael's calm assertion. How the man didn't turn into a gooey mess at the swift spinning – or at least lost orientation – was a mystery to Tali.

Wrex too was annoyingly okay as well, and irritatingly chipper as he said. "Armature left then, if Tali won't throw up this will be a perfect win."

Tali groaned, shaking her head as she bit down, swallowing the disgusting thick slosh about to rush up her throat with an effort of will, then managed a gasp as she held onto her tumbling stomach: "Go...suck a quad..."

A snort, the Krogan shaking his head with a smirk on his wide lips. "Heh, got to love a Quarian with a tummy ache."

Michael didn't respond, his shape stiffening where he sat as the engine of the Mako revved. "Armour's weak on the underside, wait for the ram."

_Ram_!

The world rocked as the Mako smashed into something, forcing the vehicle to a sudden stop and throwing Tali _hard_ against her seatbelts, her stomach feeling as if it was escaping right through her mouth. Which it nearly _did_, but she clamped her mouth down, _refusing_ to throw up after Wrex's comment, _forbidding_ herself from shaming herself.

Then Wrex was grinning. "Perfect hit, it's bleeding..." His grin turned into an irritated frown. "...and getting up."

"Rectifying." Michael replied, as if it was nothing...and the Mako revved. _Oh no_...

The Mako jumped, jerked and bobbed as it went over an obstacle to the sound of breaking metal echoing through their hull...and then fell down...

Tali gasped, _tensed_...but it was a short fall and the machine quickly evened out, making her rebellious stomach calm down to an acceptable level of chaos.

Michael's voice was calm, irritatingly so, as he without turning drove onwards: "Proceeding to objective, Tali'Zorah? Any targets?"

A small moan escaped her as she unwound her arms from her belly, letting the rest upon the console as she forced herself to look at the radar. "None...eugh...Commander." She looked over at his back, eyes narrowing. _I hate you_...

Wrex chuckled: "I think you annoyed her Commander."

Michael didn't respond at first, but when he did his voice was as calm as ever, stating a _fact_: "Will make amends."

To her immense annoyance Tali found herself perking up at the words.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for hating this one. ;-)_


	18. Chapter 18

_Recon_.

Ashley's hand shot up, white armoured knuckles digging deep into the rock as she climbed the mountain that seemed to consist of mainly boulders stacked upon boulders, as if it wasn't a mountain at all but larger a large pile of – Ashley's hand sunk into the rock, revealing it to be _another_ one of the ones that were more mud then stone – _shit_..._great_..._I'm_ _climbing a giant pile of_ _shit_.

The mental image did _nothing_ to improve her mood, nor to distract her from the annoyance digging into her mind.

_He put __me__ on __recon_.

Sure, she knew reconnaissance was important, even vital, to a mission, that she as such was trusted with a lot of responsibility. She was _also_ aware that there was a _reason_ for the other team being called 'alpha team'...and that he apparently didn't _need_ her for that...the fact that the two teams would merge didn't matter._ I could have read the fucking radar, reader, Tali only gets sick anyway_...

She didn't get it.

Grumbling she kicked her foot in, hoisting herself further up as they neared the summit.

_Didn't even put me in charge either, hell, I would have accepted Kaidan too, him being my superior and all_. She glanced up and to her right, finding the Lieutenant a few steps ahead of her, his black shell-covered armour making him resemble a beetle as he climbed further up. _At least the ass is human enough_... Ashley smirked under her helmet as she eyed the Lieutenant moving rear. _Damn, too many __fine__ men among the officers, a shame_. She felt a stab of guilt at the thought, both remembering Michael, and that Kaidan was not only a superior, but a friend.

It was easy to shrug off though, her grumbling resuming as she looked up and to her left. _Now that's __not__ a human ass_... Garrus climbing was..._strange_, his clawed feet and fingers, even when covered in armour, gave him a good grip and it didn't look as if he was swinging himself up as much as climbing a ladder as he scaled the mountain. _Can't believe Michael put __him__ in charge_...

Sure, after their many missions there wasn't a lick of doubt that Garrus wasn't loyal – though Ashley still didn't understand _why _–and he had more then proven himself during those missions as a capable leader and all that...yet it was still a bit insulting, as if he didn't trust the two other humans on the ground team to do a good job, _despite_ them both having shown themselves skilled at the job as well. _Kaidan keeps things by the book perfectly and I always manage to push my team well_..._so_ _why_ _Garrus_!

"Approaching position five." Garrus muttered into the comlink above her, then hoisted himself over a ledge. "Taking up position, not yet compromised."

Ashley found her face twitching. _Okay, so we managed to get this far through enemy patrols without being spotted, yippee_..._give_ _the_ _lizard_ _a_ _medal_... She shook her head even as she continued, watching Kaidan as the man too disappeared just above her. _Fine, that was unfair, still_..._dammit I'm grouchy today, damn distracting dreams keeping me up_...

Wrestling, kicking, fighting...no audience...sweaty and _naked_...

She shuddered, then shook the memory of the dream aside with an irritated frown. _This is all __Michael's fault_...

As if to further make her feel like a complete ass, and not a nice one but one made of the crap she was climbing, Kaidan came leaning over the ledge to offer her a helping hand, smiling politely and looking like the perfect gentleman. _Helping the sordid libido-suffering ass out of the shit_..._great_..._I'm such a jerk_... With a small grumble Ashley forced herself to smile back as she reached up, taking his hand.

His other hand clamped down on her forearm...a grunt...and Ashley found herself pulled upwards, armoured body sliding against the ledge, making the white armour a muddy brown at the front.

_Hmmm_..._mud-wrestling with __Michael_..._that big body covered in_... "There you go." Kaidan was smiling at her, polite as ever...and now arching an eyebrow as he noticed her burning cheeks, and ever the gentleman asked: "Something wrong?"

_I'm an ass_. "No, nothing." Ashley averted her gaze, looking over to Garrus, the Turian already unfolding his sniper rifle with efficient movements as he knelt in the dirt at the other end of the plateau they had found themselves on. There were a few smaller boulders and gravel scattered on the ground...but other than that the now somewhat crowded plateau was bereft of anything interesting. _Right, get moving, can't have the Turian waiting for us_... Not letting Kaidan have a chance at any further prodding, it was annoying how he could remain so polite while still being so insistent... Ashley brushed past him and pulled forth her own sniper rifle.

Behind her she felt Kaidan's gaze, then heard him move to kneel down to Garrus' left side as Ashley with an unfolded sniper rifle came down on one knee to the Turian's right, watching the grey mandibles of the alien twitch as he sighted down his scope, the swings of his aim telling her he wasn't really aiming. "Recon team here, fighting on surface is over, unknown below. I count...perhaps three dozen Geth, two Geth Primes among them, as well as a Krogan mercenary that is acting as a commander."

Sighting down her own scope Ashley found her vision projected down to the small settlement below.

It wasn't a large settlement, two long boxes that probably acted as barracks facing a larger two-storied structure which mostly consisted of a large hollow in its centre where a tilted and now open door lead down a tunnel Ashley could only see a hint of from her angle. A few hasty barricades of white – now blackened – tables had been placed in a rough semi-circle around the entrance to the tunnel, a few blackened corpses in armour laying behind them. In front of them the majority of the bodies lay strewn however. One or two Geth...and the corpses of several armoured mercenaries and white-clothed scientists that hadn't reached the barricade or the tunnel behind it in time.

_Geth, good at surprises, catching people off guard_... Ashley found her closing her eyes, her heart fluttering as she struggled with a wash of emotions and memories. _This time they'll fail_.

"Did you say something?" Ashley shook her head at Garrus' question, not having realised a growl had escaped her. Instead she narrowed her eye at the scope and focused on the animated foes.

Garrus had been right, there were a _lot_ of Geth before the tunnel, some entering the two barracks with lowered rifles but searching heads. _Wonder what they're looking for_? The two Primes stood before the entrance to the tunnel, flanking the entrance with lowered rifles, still as statues as the odd Geth moved in. Most of them however just stood there, looking at the figure in the centre of the area between the three buildings.

The Krogan was _massive_, only dwarfed in height by the Primes because of his head being so firmly set between his wide shoulders. In a bright yellow colour the skin of his bare head stood in stark contrast to the dark brown crest topping his skull and the black armour straining with his bulk His dark green eyes glowed with anger as he waved his arms around with his shotgun in hand, obviously wanting the Geth to move faster...and _equally_ obviously not getting through properly.

"In position, awaiting command." Garrus clipped through the comlink, making Ashley glance to her right, seeing a small cloud of dust not too far in the distance, the Mako making good time through the maze of passages covering the rocky planet. _Poor Tali_... The sympathy was a bit muffled by bitterness, but Ashley comforted herself with that it was _there_.

"Hold position." Even over the com Michael's voice was like ice._ I like him better on the_ _Normandy_, _warmer_..._new_ _thought_! Forcing her head to turn she looked over at Kaidan, watching the man dutifully checking his pistol as a smirk stole its way to her lips. As a specialist with biotics and technical skills he was a perfect support for any squad, however he only carried a pistol...and couldn't well hit the enemy with his biotics from that range. He wouldn't see much action, yet was _still_ prepared to guard them, as if he wouldn't have much time when they got engaged. _Typical, always by the book_...Ashley smiled.

Next to her Garrus shifted his stance, making Ashley turn back to her work with a shrug. _Heh, perhaps it's good that he was in charge after all, I'm apparently a big softie now_...She nearly chuckled at the idea. "You take out the shield of the Krogan, I follow up with a shot." She glanced at the Turian, finding his gaze intense, that of a predator, as he sighted down his scope. "Krogan regenerate so we'll keep hitting him until he's down properly, then we move on to any Geth snipers, I count two."

"On your word." Ashley muttered, feeling her body tighten in readiness, and as always, revelling in it. "Let's kick their asses."

The two shared a chuckle, the enjoyment of the hunt gripping them, staving off the fear of death. Ashley knew most soldiers preferred discipline...but it had never been for her, and apparently, neither for Garrus.

The cloud of dust was now visible in the corner of her eye not looking through the scope, approaching fast. Michael's voice only confirmed the rapidly closing distance. "Recon team...fire at will."

"You heard the man, get to it." Garrus' casual tone elicited a smirk from Ashley as she sighted down at the Krogan, watching his head turn left, then right as he with a mouth shooting spittle glared at the Geth around him. _Just knocking the shields down is easy_..._must_ _do_ _it_ _in_ _style_...

An aim...and then a _gentle_ squeeze of the trigger...

The shield around the Krogan lit up in a blue light, centred above a large green eye, making the creature take a startled step back even as the shield died out in an explosion of white light as the powerful shot overloaded his kinetic barrier with a cracking echo of her firing weapon.

A blink of an eye...and the Krogan fell onto his back, the eye her bullet had been stopped from striking exploding into orange gore as its howl echoed over the _Damn_..._that's_ _a_... "Nice shot Garrus." The Krogan, exhibiting the usual stubbornness of a Krogan unwilling to accept the bullet in his brain, struggled up to one knee. _Oh __no__ you don't_! Ashley's shot took the knee out with a loud crack, sending the creature face first into the dirt.

"You too." Garrus replied, his rifle jerking as another shot was released, this one striking the Krogan's crest as he began to rise, sending him back into the dust, dust now painted orange with his blood.

"Is he down?" Ashley frowned, then shrugged and put another bullet in the twitching corpse,

"That should do it." Garrus remarked dryly, his weapon moving to track his chosen target. "Snipers."

Ashley didn't reply, her own weapon moving to aim. Everywhere Geth were _standing_...a few moving slowly, as if through water, now even _more_ unsure what to do without their commander. _Error messaging eh_? _Idiots_... Resisting the urge to just start firing she moved her aim around, finally finding the dark brown Geth sniper, the thing slowly raising its rifle, as if unsure how to wield it.

Her rifle jerked against her...and the head of the machine twisted in an odd angle as the top disappeared in an explosion of sparks, shards of glass and twisted steel pieces. Next to her she heard the crack of Garrus' rifle as he took out his own target.

Below there was a jerking of mechanical limbs as the Geth finally began to move. Their movements were stilted, but rapidly becoming smoother, as they turned to face the threat, rifles rising up...

Then the air was filled with white pulse-shots as the Geth fired, moving towards the cover offered by the boulders of the sniping squad's mountain.

_Ohhh__, full auto fire from all the way down there, I'm __scared_. Ashley scoffed, her rifle sweeping round, catching a Geth still walking sideways out in the open.

With a stutter of struggling electronics the thing spun and fell, its white blood covering the ground as its left leg came off at the knee.

Next to it another ducking Geth fell, twitching hands reaching up towards a head that was nothing but a few leaking cords and a smashed steel vertebrae.

"Prime at eleven." Garrus mutter was a low growling sound.

"See it." Ashley calmly replied even as a lucky shot from a pulse rifle made her shield glow around her shoulder. Ignoring it, and the shots sweeping over her head, she watched the tall white monster of a Geth rush across the field towards the cliffs. "Firing."

The machine's shield flared to the crack of her rifle, then again as Garrus' shot struck home, this time with a flash of white as it died.

Ignoring the hiss of her sniper rifle Ashley quickly fired again. "Fuck!" The shot struck the running Geth in the shoulder, shattering the plate covering it, but otherwise did no damage. _For fucks sak_e..._and now the rifle is overheating too_! She glared at the hissing weapon, yet continued to follow the Geth through her scope. _Just a few moments and I can_-

A crack of Garrus' rifle...and the thing stumbled, then fell to its knees. Its hands reached up...then dropped as white blood spurted from the gap right between the chest-plate and his neck...and then from every edge of the chest-plate as the bullet ricocheted within the creature's torso, tearing its insides apart.

_Ouch_... She offered the Turian a nod. _Fine, you're the better sniper, just you wait until the Geth get up here_...

And the Geth were hard at work at just that, the near three dozen machines climbing the cliff-side of the mountain in small leaps, ducking behind individual boulders in turn as others offered covering fire, however inaccurate it was at the range. Sweeping her scope around Ashley spotted the second Prime, this one moving towards the cover offered by one of the barracks as it covered its lesser allies. "The other Prime?"

Garrus had a smile in his voice. "Wait."

_Huh_?

Then the barrack was flattened.

The barrack was built as a shelter against the weather, a place to sleep and to eat, not much else.

It was _not_ built for repelling the ram of a twenty ton armoured personnel carrier hurtling into it at full speed!

With a crash the outermost wall fell inwards, the roof shattering into pieces and the inner being split in two as the Mako continued in a shower of plastic cups, mattresses and broken pieces of furniture. Its bumper smashed into the side of the unprepared Prime, sending it hurtling through the air before crashing through the tables placed around the entrance to the dig, collapsing in a broken pile of torn metal and white blood.

With a thump the Mako came to a stop even as the near _shattered_ Prime struggled onto all fours, the thing's broken lens turning to look at the vehicle with a cold glare, a near shorn hand clutching at its rifle as it struggled to bring it to bear...

The Mako's main gun spoke.

And the Prime was torn asunder in an explosion of dust, mud and metal shards.

Then the turret swept round, the machine-gun attachment speaking in its staccato barking as it threw up plumes of dust and mud along the cliff-side, as well as sending several of the climbing Geth face down in the mud as their exposed backs were torn apart by the large-calibre bullets. The staccato bark of the gun being complemented by the stuttering cries of dying electronics as the Geth begun to fall.

There was chaos among the Geth ranks, they didn't flee, but there was clear confusion among them as some still tried to climb the cliff-side, others turning to shoot at the new threat...and others looking left and right, bewildered. _Is it just me or did they just get dumber_? Ashley snorted as she placed a bullet in the back of the head of a Geth that was trying to shoot at the Mako, then into the back of the neck of another one as its fired missile went wide from the vehicle.

Next to her Garrus fired and fired, the barrel of his rifle glowing red as Geth upon Geth struggling to climb up to them had their vitals torn to pieces, no matter how fast they tried to move between the cover of the boulders. Even Kaidan got to do something now, the man muttering something under his breath as he with a hand aglow with power pulled up a boulder and hurled it down the cliff-side, smashing the legs off the closest Geth before luckily crushing another on the third bounce of the falling rock.

The Mako was wheeling around, dodging a few stray shots, though it was hardly necessary as the turret moved left and right, tearing apart the Geth in droves, those behind cover faring little better as the bullets tore the rocks apart in their search for their foes.

It was all but over.

Everywhere Geth fell, many rolling down the cliff as they lost their footing, only to be crushed under the Mako driving back and forth...the few still standing struggling to even fire back as they were peppered with superior firepower.

And then it _was_ over.

The last Geth, its head twisted to the left, its right arm but a stump, listed as it leant against a rock...before the left leg gave up and sent the machine crashing head first into the mud, never to get up.

"Site secured." Michael spoke through the comlink, cold and calm as always even as Ashley tried to soothe her intense heartbeat. She shared a grin with Garrus. _That was awesome_! "Recon team to merge with Alpha team, we proceed on foot."

_Good_. Ashley got to her feet, securing her sniper rifle to her back before reaching for her _assault_ rifle. She found a grin stealing its way to her face. _Warm-up down, now I want some proper exercise_... She eyed one of the fallen Geth, its mangled body leaking its white blood everywhere, head twisted nearly backwards.

_I'm going to enjoy this_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her input._


	19. Chapter 19

The tunnel was wide, steep, and stank of earth.

And it was _dark_.

So far the tunnels of the dig site had been illuminated by several spotlights dug into the floor, revealing chambers clearly emptied of whatever the archaeologists found interesting before the tunnels continued in a spidery web of interconnecting passages.

They hadn't found many bodies so far, the odd dead mercenary, a few dead scientists, each one checked by a Shepard constantly hurrying them on, intent on finding the apparently still alive Liara T'soni. The number of corpses had dropped as of late though, until there were none, yet the sounds of firing weapons that they had heard echoing ahead had continued unabated, leading the group onwards, and now into a tunnel clearly going far down, making Tali wonder how far below ground they were.

And it was so damn _dark_...

Tali kept her steps careful as she moved down the steel stair, happy that she had the wall of armour of Ashley, Michael and Wrex ahead of her, if the Geth tried to attack from the darkness ahead they would have found it difficult...

Of course she also knew there were no Geth in the immediate area, her glowing omni-tool continuously scanning the area ahead, searching for any Geth signatures with a program she herself had made.

_Then why take out the lights if not to ambush us_? She shot a worried glance to her right, past the focused-looking Kaidan and to one of the lamps fastened to the side of the wall, the bulb itself was smashed apart, the shards of glass like small stars as they reflected the light of her omni-tool.

Tearing her gaze off the sparkling reflections Tali looked back ahead, finding nothing but further darkness ahead._ How far does this tunnel go_!

"I don't like this." Ashley muttered ahead of her, the woman's gun sweeping left and right, stance professional, yet carrying a clear tension in it. "They _have_ to be preparing something, why else take out the lights?" A pause, then the woman shrugged. "Though on the other hand they can't really know we're coming, we took out those at the top without any getting away."

"Actually..." Tali nearly bit her lip, her own voice sounding painfully loud in the darkness. _Just a play of the mind, pay it no mind_. She still lowered her voice as she continued though: "...they became aware of us the moment Joker took out that cruiser, all Geth within a certain distance are linked." _Simplification, but go with it_. "So they knew we were coming, and they know we're here after we took out the Geth on the surface."

"Huh." Ashley replied non-committally, her shoulders clearly showing that she was pondering the information, then she shrugged. "So why haven't they hit us yet then? God knows that there are Geth before us."

Tali shook her head and shrugged, then realised that the marine scanning the space ahead couldn't see that. "I don't know..."

Silence, save a thumping sound ahead.

Kaidan's rough voice took over, the pleasant voice lacking some of its usual calm as he muttered: "Well if they know of us, and still have two cruisers in orbit, I wouldn't put it past them to be dropping reinforcements on the ground behind us to pursue. Those ahead...well they might be busy trying to get to Liara..."

Many eyes glanced at Michael, but the man said nothing as he continued, only Tali apparently seeing the answer in the way the man's steps tensed ever so slightly._ He already knows all that_..._Keelah_..._I_ _hope_ _he_ _has_ _a_ _plan_...

"Do you hear that?" Glancing to her left Tali found Garrus holding his sniper rifle close to his body as he cocked his head to the side, listening.

Wrex's voice was but a low growl: "You mean the thumping? Or the lack of gunfire?"

"Both." Garrus replied, the rifle in his hands coming into ready-position, aiming over the head of the three soldiers ahead in a vain effort to spot a target. "I don't like it."

With a growing pit of worry in her gut Tali realised that she too couldn't hear any further gunfire. _Did the Geth overcome the defenders_? _Or are they planing something else_? She could also _clearly_ hear the thumping, a dull sound of metal striking metal. A thump, then a three second pause, and then a thump again, like a clock. _Or Geth, filthy machines_...not for the first time Tali wished she could spit as she had seen some humans do, but she held back the impulse, there was no reason to stain the visor with anything but Geth fluid after all...

Further ahead she saw the ground, the tunnel ending in what had to be another chamber, a _dark_ chamber... _Keelah_...

"I have a bad feeling about this..." Kaidan muttered, he too seeing the end of the tunnel, his eyes narrowing.

A small snort escaped Ashley. "Of course the _jedi_ had to say that."

_Je-di_? Tali blinked, the word not one she understood. Kaidan _did_ however, the man glowering at Ashley's back, the woman clearly chuckling under her breath. "How many times do I have to say it? Being a biotic does _not_ make me a-"

"Silence." Michael's order was low, hard, and _final_.

The entire group, tensing, as if before a plunge, held their weapons tightly as they inched towards the opening ahead...

"Storm forth and into cover on my mark." Michael didn't look neither left or right to hear confirmation, already know the group would do as they were told, and trained, to do.

Ahead the thumping sound was suddenly followed by the groan of bending metal.

"Mark."

As one the group lunged, leaping the final feet to the exit of the tunnel.

Tali felt a rush run through her as she came out into what had to be a large chamber, though most of it was hidden in darkness. Underneath her feet there was yellow sand, and ahead there was a number of low rock formations sticking out of the sand, those further back far larger then those closer to the group. The large chamber was also inclined, the group having entered on the bottom and looking up at a slight hill leading to...

_Keelah_...

Dropping behind a low stone ridge Tali felt her heart pound as she saw the source of the thumping sound.

While the lights had been killed all around the chamber there was a single one still working at the far end of the chamber, right at an entrance to another area of the dig...that had been blocked by two large sheets of metal leaning against one another and the wall. The thumping sound emanated from the sheets as five Geth, pressing close together as one, rammed into them, only to immediately step back and repeat the tackle, making the sheet to the right slowly bend under the impact as the animated battery ram again and again slammed into its centre.

_We can handle five_. Tali stretched her arm out past her cover, aiming at the tightly packed group, finding the rest of the team doing the same as they silently prepared to destroy the Geth in one salvo...

And then her omni-tool beeped out a warning.

"Look out!" The shout barely escaped Tali in time as she jerked her arm back, a powerful sniping shot smashing into the ridge before her, just missing her arm.

The wide chamber came alive with scrapping sounds, white lights of activating Geth suddenly glaring out from the darkness at all sides, down at the group ducking low behind their cover as the opening salvo of the ambush nearly tore them apart.

Pressing herself low and against the cover offered by the small ridge Tali glanced down at her omni-tool, mouth going dry as she saw the many dots of activating Geth surrounding them from three sides. _Several further back, snipers probably, and to our left_... With the loud barking of firing weapons Tali's warning was a pitiful sound in her own ears: "Incoming Geth on our ten!"

She forced herself to rise above her cover, flinching as a stray pulse shot fizzled against her shield, and saw half a dozen Geth break out from the dark outline of a boulder to come charging at the entrenched team, a Juggernaut, its eye glowing red, leading the way with long strides. _They're coming too fast_! She waved her free arm at the Juggernaut, her omni-tool instantly picking up the order and sending a pulse forth, making the shield of the large Geth explode into white light even as the following shot from her pistol bounced off its shoulder.

"On it!" Kaidan barked, the man rising to his full length from a small boulder to Tali's left, his entire body aglow with dark blue light as he pulled both hands back...and then struck them forth, hurling a ball of energy the size of _Tali_ at the charging Geth.

The Juggernaut was pulled off its feet with a cry of protesting electronics...and hurtled back into the arms of the five following it, sending all six crashing to the ground in an undignified heap.

A roar...and Wrex hurtled from his cover, the shotgun in his hands jerking, making the chest Juggernaut at the top of the pile explode into a gaping hole. A hole the charging Krogan stepped right through as he with storming feet crushed the other five Geth without stopping, his great bulk disappearing into the darkness with another flash of amber light as his shotgun caught an unsuspecting Geth off-guard.

"Vakarian, focus on enemy snipers." Michael, somewhere to Tali's right, snapped. A burst of assault fire...and there was a cry of dying electronics of a felled Geth. "Williams, plug the hole on the left."Another burst of fire. "Tali'Zorah, hack enemy sniper."

Her stomach tightened with fear at the order, but she forced herself to stand, to find one of the distant white lights. Feeling horribly exposed she found the white light of a Geth sniper looking at them from atop a boulder on the still ramming Geth's right. _Please don't shoot me_... She forced her eyes not to screw shut as her fingers swept over the controls of her omni-tool, drawing up the proper program. It felt as if it was looking right at _her_. _Please don't shoot me_... She struck her hand out, trying to aim the pointing finger right even as she felt her whole body tensing with fear. _Don't shoot me_!

Ahead, the white light of the Geth's eye turned blue. _Yes_! The red light of the Geth snipers beam weapon turned downwards...and with a crack ended the white light of one of its compatriots ahead as it shot it in the back of the head.

Then there was a second crack of a Geth sniper...and Tali clutched at her chest.

"Kaidan's hurt!" Ashley cried out even as Tali dropped onto the sand, her hand clutching an unwounded chest, trying to get her heart to stop racing after its near stop. _Keelah_..._I_ _thought_..._Kaidan_! Swinging her head round she saw Ashley holding Kaidan's hand with her left hand, dragging him back towards the tunnel as she held her assault rifle with her right, steadying it under her armpit and spraying shots wildly while struggling with the male's weight.

Kaidan's right hand still clutched his pistol, the slow limb moving to fire the odd shot even as blood welled up from his chest.

"Covering fire." There was a strain in Michael's voice, but it remained cold as three quick bursts were fired out from the man inching backwards, covering the bleeding Lieutenant with fire and his own bulk "Williams, treat Alenko, Vakarian, up front."

Ahead something exploded, momentarily illuminating Wrex, the Krogan looking like some ancient monster as his silhouette slammed the barrel of his weapon into a Geth, lifting it of its feet before blowing it apart with a boom of his shotgun.

Next to her Garrus dropped into cover, the Turian looking up at her with a grin. "Having fun yet?"

_Fun_! Tali blinked at the Turian's insensitive comment, then thought better of commenting and simply leaned past the cover to put a bullet in the far too close eye of an approaching Geth that had scented the blood for a kill too soon. "Just destroy them!" Her omni-tool glowed...and another Geth ahead stuttered as its gun suddenly overheated, looked down at it, then cried out with a wail of dying electronics as Tali's pistol jerked three times, putting a neat line of bullets into its narrow abdomen and severing it in two.

"This sure beats C-sec." The Turian murmured, sniper rifle rocking against his shoulder as he swiftly came up for a shot. "One down." It jerked again as he leaned far to the left and shot round the ridge. "Two." There was something akin to _pleasure_ in the voice, the Turian clearly enjoying his job. "Ha! Two in one shot!"

Ignoring the Turian Tali glanced back, finding Kaidan's foot just sticking out from the tunnel as Ashley knelt beside him, her hands shaking slightly as they moved with lightning speed to treat the other human. Kaidan was pale, but smiling faintly as he muttered something to the woman. _He'll be okay, good_.

_Wait, where's Michael_!

Then Garrus grunted and fell down in front of her.

Tali felt her heart tighten as the Turian crawled closer, right hand still holding his rifle as his left held onto a shoulder now covered in bright blue blood. Seeing her stare the man managed a shrug with his other shoulder even as he pushed himself onto one knee. His voice held a tint of pain, but was mostly casual. "Just a scratch, help me up will you?"

Wincing in sympathy Tali reached up, trying to ignore the way Garrus hissed at her hands pushing him against the cover and how his blood dripped over her left hand.

Then he rested the rifle against the ridge and taking aim, smirked. "Now where did you..._there_." A crack and his rifle jerked against the injured shoulder, making the Turian grimace, but it was a grimace coloured by satisfaction. "Payback hurts, doesn't it?"

Shaking her head at the crazy man – _Turians, warriors the lot of them_ – Tali instead risked a glance past her cover, doing her best to ignore the way a shot struck her shield inches from her visor with a hiss.

There had been a tell-able drop in Geth fire coming their way, primarily on the left where Tali couldn't see any glowing eyes any more. On the right there were a few, but mostly shadows moving away from them, a few of the shadows collapsing as an assault rifle shooting out from the shadows caught the Geth in the flank.

_There_! Michael's helmet covered head was briefly illuminated by the light of a Geth's eye as he dropped atop the wailing machine – his eyes alight with cold fury, making Tali shudder – then faded into darkness as a swinging assault rifle tore the head off the machine.

Further to the left there was a dark blue light...and a stuttering Geth flew through the air as Wrex's bulk rumbled through the shadows, ignoring the flying Geth in favour of blasting the retreating form of another in the side.

To the right Michael's assault rifle spoke, and the airborne Geth's chest opened up, raining its insides over the ground even as the others retreated backwards.

She could see them now, a full dozen Geth coming together with those that had tried to break through the barricade, all of them now turning and dropping into what cover they could find as they fired away at the two shadows that had flanked and destroyed so many of their brethren.

They were also standing in the light.

Garrus growled in pain as he fired, the shot taking a Geth in the eye before going on through and opening up a tube in another Geth's neck, sending both to the ground with electronic wails and jerky hands moving towards the lethal damage.

From the darkness where the Geth had once launched their ambush Wrex and Michael fired, taking full advantage of the changed situation to drop a further two Geth into the dust, their white blood staining the ground.

Tali moved her arm, ready to shorten what little might be left of the clustered enemy's shields...only to stop as the metal sheets behind the defending Geth began to glow purple.

_What the_...?

It was as if the two heavy sheets had suddenly become lamps, bathing the large chamber in purple light. The Geth, too busy defending themselves, didn't react to it, pinned down as they were. Not even when the sheets began to move, pushing up from the sand, as if pulled free by an invisible giant, did they turn their heads.

Then the sheets flew forward in an explosion of movement, heavy and curved the steel plates were probably meant to hold up tunnels...resisting tons of weight...and now they came flying outwards as if thrown by an angry toddler.

Tali watched in wonder and a sick feeling of satisfaction as one of the Geth had its head torn off by one of the massive missiles, another losing its legs at they got caught between a rock and the plate pulling the rest of the machine past its cover, a third simply shattering like glass as it got caught between the edge of a plate and a large boulder.

An orb of purple light, its centre nearly black, followed, arching through the air, only to slam to a stop a few feet ahead of the defending Geth, Geth now going _up_...

Tali watched, stunned, as the Geth levitated over their cover, the machines madly scrambling in the air, vainly trying to get down as the orb of biotic power pulled them away from the laws of gravity and the security of their cover.

Then Michael's assault rifle spoke up...and two Geth were torn open, their blackened innards spilling out and twisting mid-air as they moved towards the orb of energy above.

A groan to her left...and Garrus fired, ending a third Geth even as Wrex and Michael's guns opened up for all they were worth, tearing through the Geth and their electronic wails. Tali, realising she wouldn't even need to fire, holstered her pistol and stood up to watch as the last Geth was torn asunder.

Then the orb of purple energy faded...and the broken remains of the Geth defenders fell to the ground with a crash of broken machinery.

And behind it all, standing in the doorway of a small tunnel revealed by the thrown aside sheets, a single Asari stood.

Moving forward Tali saw Michael and Wrex do the same, the three eyeing the new arrival with confusion.

The Asari was dressed in a tight-fitting white suit that scientists seemed to favour for some reason, over her shoulders a white smock hung, as if trying to comfort her. The woman's eyes were flicking back and forth, glancing at Wrex and Michael as the two came closer. She was tall for an Asari, but at the moment she looked awfully small as she rubbed her shoulders, head bunched low between her shoulders and blue cheeks nearly purple with what could only be an insecure blush.

And she was still glowing with the energy of her biotic attack.

"Ummm..." The Asari's voice was soft, shaking a little, eyes flicking to Wrex, or more specifically, his shotgun. "...hello?"

"Liara T'soni?" Michael snapped, stepping closer with a lowered rifle, lowered, but ready to be used.

The woman hesitated, glanced down at the dead Geth, then straightened and swallowed. "Yes, that's me. And you are...?"

"Spectre, here to retrieve you." Michael replied, deadpan.

The shoulders of the Asari dropped, her body nearly following as she gasped: "Thank you, I thought that I would...thank you, those...th-things..." She gestured for the dead Geth. "...thank you..."

A snort escaped Ashley, the woman shooting a glance up at the Asari before returning to look at Kaidan's injury as she supported him: "Great, another damsel in distress."

A small chuckle escaped Kaidan at that, following by a cough. "Weren't _you_ that before...?"

"Shut up." Ashley harrumphed, hand coming back to smack the man, before dropping as she thought better of it, instead moving to aid her other arm in holding him up.

Michael ignored the two, his voice cold and harsh, making the Asari flinch: "Those are Geth, know anything about them?"

"Wh-what? No I..." Liara looked around, eyes wetting around the edges as she begun to shake. "I-I don't kn-know what's go-going on..." The blush was fading, the woman rubbing her shoulders as she wavered where she stood, voice quavering: "Th-they came out of no-nowhere, we...I...wh-why did they at-attack? We're just di-digging..."

"Right." Michael turned, ignoring the way the Asari begun to violently shake, letting Wrex step up to help her. "Report, Williams, how is Alenko? Vakarian?"

Turning, Tali found Ashley supporting a Kaidan struggling to raise a thumbs up, and also Garrus leaning heavily against the cover they had used, blue blood running down his right arm. Kaidan's voice was weak, but sounded convinced: "Can keep up sir, even fight..." Ashley snorted, making Kaidan add with an innocent shrug: "...somewhat."

"Vakarian?"

The Turian shrugged, only to wince and clutch at his shoulder, body shaking with pain. "It...hurts more then at first...could need some help..." He swayed where he stood, then shook his head and straightened.

Michael's gaze lingered on the two wounded, then turned back to Liara, the Asari looking ready to faint. "Is there an alternate route out of here?"

"Wh-what?" The woman swayed where she stood, a hand coming to her forehead, blue eyes nearly hidden under dropping eyelids. _Wonder how long she has been struggling to survive_...?

Michael stepped forth, body shaking with frightening intensity as he grabbed the Asari's shoulders...and shook her, then practically glared into the frightened woman's eyes as he spoke: "Is. There. An. Alternate. Route?"

"I...yes..." The woman shook her head again, voice small as she stared back into the Commander's eyes, unable to look away as she pointed back into the tunnel she had been hiding in. "Right through there...goes to behind a mountain...an emergency exit."

"Why didn't you use it before?" Tali asked, surprised.

Liara managed to turn her head to look at the Quarian, looking a bit...tired, the Asari managed a small shrug: "And go where? The Geth are everywhere...seemed..._logical_...to stay and fight..."

"It was." Michael snapped, releasing the Asari. "Now it isn't." Once more he stepped away from the Asari, this time she didn't look ready to faint however, only small and quiet as she with large eyes looked at the rest of the group approaching, clearly not understanding. _Caught in something she doesn't understand_..._why_ _does_ _that_ _feel_ _familiar_? Tali nearly snorted, thinking of what the Asari's reaction would be when all was revealed, Saren was getting good at making new enemies... "Williams, support Alenko, Tali'Zorah, you are to support Vakarian. Urdnot is to bring up the rear." Michael turned back to the Asari, finding the woman looking up at him with wide eyes. "T'soni and I will take point." Hesitation, then the man taking a step forward, voice softening for but a moment. "You will be safe."

The woman's shoulders dropped with a sigh, relaxing with the realisation that she indeed _was_ about to be brought to safety. _He's damn convincing_...Tali agreed even as she moved to Garrus' side, ignoring his wince – _should have thought of that before you pretended not to feel it before_ – and watched the man wave Liara to move forth with a curt gesture, other hand already moving to his helmet as he activated the long-ranged comlink.

Standing among the broken remains of the Geth, one hand holding a still smoking assault rifle and the other against his helmet, cold eyes glowing through the visor, he looked like something out of a tale: "Ground team to Normandy, objective secure, we have wounded and enemy in pursuit, need hot retrieval, prepare to drop on my position on my mark."

"Roger that, Commander." Joker's voice crackled.

Then the man waved at the two women supporting their wounded comrades. "Move out."

And Tali moved.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her input and assistance._


	20. Chapter 20

The room was circular, cold, bereft of any decorations to hold your gaze.

All but the chairs forming a semi-circle in the room, all but one occupied, all by creatures _looking_ at her.

She had been introduced to them, but they were still _strangers_.

Considering her recent escapade she wasn't surprised to feel herself not trusting them, to _fear_ them.

_Illogical, they saved me_. Liara frowned. _No, logical, saving does not imply a positive disposition, they clearly want something from me, I should be cautious._

Liara had never been comfortable around strangers, especially when there were a lot of them at the same time, it had been a part of her choice of career, besides escaping her mother's controlling aspect and a fascination with the puzzle she had stumbled upon in the Protheans...

It didn't help that they were aliens.

Not that Liara had anything _against_ aliens, but she had in her lifetime only learnt to deal with fellow Asari, Hanar who usually argued her right to certain digs, Volus merchants and Turians usually working the security where she worked.

No, she was just afraid that she'd somehow insult them or explain herself in a way offensive to their culture...and if she did _that_...fear squeezed her gut again.

There was the Krogan, almost seated right behind her, still in his armour. Liara had mostly learnt of them by reputation, a _bad_ reputation._ Wrex does not __seem__ like a bloodthirsty barbarian though_. She glanced back at the monster of an alien, the large red eyes steady looking back, studying her with a cautious look in his eyes. _Actually seems intelligent_..._shouldn't make any assumptions_.

Next to the Krogan the Turian sat. _Garrus wasn't it_? While there was the comfort of knowing the Turian species and their culture Liara felt nervous under the predatory gaze of the man, the scaly face creased in a frown, as if he was waiting to place judgement on her at any moment. The fact that he ignored his wounded arm hanging in a sling in favour of being around to frown at her spoke volumes of him as well. _Facts of a species versus individuality_..._sounds_ _like_ _a_ _paper_ _in_ _the_ _making_...Liara shrugged the otherworldly thought aside, knowing she was just trying to distract herself from the feeling of imminent danger.

The Quarain just to her right was a bit of a strange one in the group, while the rest looked like soldiers and warriors, Tali was short and petite, not looking the _least_ dangerous._ Save the silver eyes_... Liara refused to look at them, memories of cold Geth eyes looking at her far too vivid in her memory, she didn't doubt that with her mind associating the Geth to Quarians further made her uncomfortable too.

The two seated humans a bit ahead of her offered no comfort either. Ashley was too busy looking at Kaidan and fussing with the bandages across his chest to pay Liara more attention then the odd accusatory glare...and the man himself was obviously not all there, hand drifting to his head as if suffering from a headache, or his chest where the injury was more obvious...or simply lolling his head as the medications he no doubt had received began to kick in.

She didn't belong among them, and they all knew it.

As if to make it even more abundant, there was only one chair left, and while empty, it _clearly_ belonged to the man standing before her.

Commander Shepard was _huge_. While technically not as large as Wrex, there was something larger..._about_ him..._ Perhaps it's him being tall while comparatively more lean in stature_? _Humans are like Asari in build, perhaps I'm reacting to my preconceptions about the size of humans_? _Or simply comparing him to the other two_? She looked up at the man, the uniformed man eyeing her up with a curious look on his face, half suspicious, half eager. _Or simply because I'm extremely scared_? She hid her whimper behind a clearing of her throat. "I...again I must thank you for the rescue, Commander."

After all that had happened, after the introduction of the entire team and the revelation of her being rescued by the first _human_ Spectre the words sounded somewhat...tame.

The man frowned, head cocking to the side, evaluating her words, or so she _hoped_. Shifting where she stood she spoke again, looking at Ashley as the woman once more shot her a glare from her fussing with Kaidan's bandages as Liara forced herself to speak again: "I'm unsure how to express myself around your species, I don't know much of it, excuse me if I at any time offend you..."

The female human opened her mouth to speak, eyes afire with what Liara could guess to be anger, but Michael silenced her with a gesture, not even glancing at her as he kept his eyes upon Liara, making her feel even _smaller_... His voice wasn't as cold as before, almost...pleasant...but held a guarded tone: "It wasn't out of the goodness of our hearts, but you're welcome."

"I understand." Liara forced herself to take a calming breath, before trying to sum up the situation: "There were no emergency signal from the dig, so you must have been in the area, and were obviously looking for me. I don't know why, but you are clearly interested in me for something besides the interest of keeping a fellow sentient person alive."

The man nodded, head cocked to the side. "Correct."

"So why _are_ you interested in me?" Liara frowned to herself "Can't believe a Spectre to have an interest in archaeologists, even one in my small field...and I haven't been doing anything but research these last fifty years..."

"Fifty years..." Ashley shook her head. "...Asari...freaking weird..."

"I'm probably older." Wrex rumbled behind Liara, though it didn't sound much supportive, rather just pointing something out.

Ashley merely snorted.

At such close range Liara could see a flicker of irritation in the man's eyes, swiftly gone when Michael glanced back and shot Ashley a friendly smile. "That's not why we're here Ash, we can discuss you being but a kid compared to others later." Ashley's snort turned into a cough as the man turned back to Liara: "And our interest in Miss T'soni here is in relation to her mother."

"M-mother?" Liara blinked, then frowned in puzzlement. "You mean Benezia? I haven't talked to her in..."She frowned, trying to recollect, then blinked, her voice betraying her surprise. "...thirty years?" She looked away, whispering to herself as much as to them: "Has it really been that long...?" There was a small stab of guilt at the realisation, but Liara ignored it as she looked back up at Michael: "I'm sorry but I don't know where she is and can't really give any directions..."

A few laughs around her made Liara stiffen where she stood, realising that they were finding something amusing with her honest words.

Michael however was _not_ laughing, a look of..._something_...crossing his face...and he shot a glance back at the laughing companions, eyes narrowing. "Silence." The word was _cold_, and the laughter died out, when he looked back to her his tone shifted again, becoming soft, _worryingly_ soft: "I'm afraid to tell you your mother has been marked a traitor and criminal against the Citadel council..."

Liara blinked, took a step back. "Oh." She opened her mouth to say something else, something more..._intelligent_...but nothing came.

At least there was no laughter.

_How did_...? _Why_ _would_ _she_...? _I_ _don't_...

She felt Michael's hand on her shoulder, it was large, heavy, and carefully squeezing her. She was dimly aware of staring at his chest. "She is in league with a rogue Spectre named Saren who attacked a human colony in the hunt for a Prothean beacon, he is working with the Geth, as to his final objective we're not sure...nor why Benezia is working with him."

"I...I see.." Liara shrugged off the hand on instinct, then managed an unsure smile at the warm eyes focused on her. "I am then afraid that you've rescued me for nothing, for I did not know this..." She swallowed. _Mother_..._what_ _have_ _you_ _done_? "I cannot even understand why she would do this, she has always had a bit of a..._harsh_ look on the Council...but I cannot _fathom_ why she would..." Liara blinked, her mind sliding away from the confusing thoughts. "...wait, did you say Prothean?"

There was a new light in the warm eyes now, a _needing_ light...intense and frightening. "Yes, he tried to acquire an intact Prothean beacon, we believe he stole the information within it, though I too was exposed to it." A grimace, quickly gone, burnt away from the _need_ in his eyes...

A need Liara now _too_ felt. "You were exposed to a Prothean beacon!" She stared at him, feeling her heart thump with an excitement she hadn't felt for a good forty years. "And you..._lived_!" She found her eyes bulging at the implication. "I've been studying the Protheans for _fifty_ years and never found _anything_ like a Beacon! And _never_ heard of one surviving exposure to one!" There was a grimace on Ashley's face even as Liara noticed a small flinch in Michael's face. _Perhaps humans and Asari aren't so different_..._as I am apparently still good at putting my foot in my mouth_. "I...that had to have been a traumatic experience, I'm impressed"

Michael's hand shot back, rubbing the back of his neck, in the room there seemed to be an...awkward air.

_At least the possibility of execution or similar ends is lower now_. Liara breathed a sigh of relief.

"This does not help us." Wrex finally pointed out. "Though what I want to know is why the Geth were after Liara in the first place if she and Benezia aren't on speaking terms?"

"I am unsure..." Liara looked over at the Krogan, frowning at the observant question. "...perhaps she merely wished to keep her family safe..." She grimaced. "...though I doubt it." Then shot the Krogan a doubting look: "Besides, the Geth were there, all else is theories, they could have been sent on order of this Saren man, or come to kill me, not to capture, or it could have been simple luck, they might have been there simply to create a base. We cannot know." She looked back at Shepard, bowing her head slightly. "Though I _admit_ that there is sound reasoning for a theory where me being the only expert on Prothean culture and history could be reason to kidnap me in order to acquire information for understanding the Prothean beacon and any information of the race."

"You've been studying the Prothean for fifty years?" Again Liara turned her head, this time towards Garrus, the Turian eyeing her like something to be eaten. "What have you learnt?"

"Well...most of it can't be properly verified, due to the scattered amount of partial evidence..." Liara breathed a silent sigh of relief when no one started to argue, fellow historians usually did at that point...instead she felt her face warm as she continued: "But I am certain of several things. That the Prothean before their end had spread and dominated the galactic civilisation even more so then the Citadel space does now. That they at that peak of their civilization were enjoying a level of technology close, perhaps slightly more advanced, then us. And that they were annihilated within the span of perhaps a year."

Next to her she felt Michael suddenly shudder, but no one but the Quarian's turning head indicated that anyone else noticed as Garrus with a confused clicking of his mandibles asked: "Annihilated? How?"

"It's difficult to say." She answered, feeling herself warming up to the subject. "The evidence is circumstantial and weak, it's almost as if someone..." She made a plaintive gesture. "...worked hard to _remove_ the evidence after their destruction..." She hesitated, then added. "...as well as that of other species before them."

"Other?" Kaidan's voice was but a whisper, him looking up from his injured and drugged state to peer at her, the intelligent gaze full of apprehension.

"Yes." Liara nodded eagerly. "I have uncovered evidence that the Prothean civilisation was built upon the ruins of another, older civilisation, that in turn was built upon another, this has been going on for aeons as far as I can tell...one civilisation upon another...each annihilated at the peak of their development."

There were many blank stares around her, the listeners not quite focused on what they thought a boring subject, yet too polite to say it. Liara held back a sigh._ Always the same_...

Michael's voice, however, was _rough_. "You could understand the visions created by the beacon?" Looking back at him she found the man's gaze hesitant, as if he was unsure he actually _wanted_ to know...

If she hadn't been so eager Liara would have been heedful of it: "Yes! I would be able to decipher at least _part_ of their message, Prothean beacons work by projecting visions into the receiver, the only problem being that it's supposed to be for a _Prothean_ mind...I gather it was less than informative to you?"

Hesitation, the man's right hand closing into a fist, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he looked away, voice distant. "In a way..."

"Shepard." Liara caught her hands before they grabbed at the man, her feet inching forward, drawing a growl from Ashley, the human glaring daggers at Liara. She ignored it though as she spoke: "Please, this information could sky-rocket my research, and be of great help to you if any of the information concerns your hunt for this Saren. I can meld with you to search these visions for-"

Michael hesitated, his right arm shaking as he rubbed his chin, eyes darting left and right, conflicted.

Instead it was Garrus who had interrupted her. "Wait...you want to _mate_ with him!"

"Absolutely _not_!" Ashley growled, before her mouth snapped shut, eyes flickering to Michael – who didn't seem to have heard, still looking thoughtful and conflicted – and then Kaidan, who just gave her a tired look.

"I too..." Tali added, her voice small. "...fail to see what good that would do..." She glanced left and right, then down at her lap, going quiet.

Liara felt her shoulders bunch up at the implication, a spike of irritation shooting through her as she looked at the others. _Aliens, to start with they take mating too seriously, secondly they never check the facts of Asari properly_. "It's _not_ mating, that would require..." She ignored the blush creeping onto her cheeks. "...more."_ Perhaps 'less' would be the proper term_... "It's simply a way to meld our nervous systems so I may search his memories."

"Still not seeing that happening." Ashley grumbled, arms crossed over her chest, Kaidan completely forgotten as she glowered at Liara. "You're not doing your weird alien thing to Shepard, especially since I don't trust you."

"I see." Liara bowed her head. "That's reasonable of you..."_ If perhaps, a bit too harshly put, defensive even, not bothering to check facts_. "...but I do not know how else to help...and I _want_ to help...if nothing else but to do the _right_ thing when my mother does the _wrong_..." The female human hesitated, her gaze turning introvert. "...can you understand that?"

There was no answer from the marine, the woman looking down on her knees, knees held tightly by her hands, as she bit her lower lip.

"I've never _heard_ of melding ever being dangerous..." Wrex rumbled, shrugging. "...and I doubt Liara here would want to be killed by assassinating the Commander right in front of us..."

Ashley opened her mouth, to protest further or to agree, Liara wasn't sure. But Michael beat her to it: "Do it." Looking back at him she found his eyes cold, a hint of steel beneath them as he straightened, standing stiffly before her as he nodded: "Meld our minds, this information is _vital_."

Liara looked at the others, waiting for some sort of protest, but there was none. Garrus and Wrex eyeing her carefully, Kaidan with interest...and the two women starring at the floor.

Then back to Michael as she took another step back, feeling his hot breath brushing against her forehead as she looked up at him and felt her body tingling as her nervous system _shifted_... "Try to relax..."

The man's jaw twitched, his body shook, but he didn't step away.

"...and embrace eternity!"

There was a jar, as if the ship had suddenly slammed to a halt, the world disappearing into a black haze.

_Objective comes first_... She wasn't sure if it was a thought or spoken out loud, she was too distracted with the feel of Michael's skin, not against hers, but rather as if it was around her, as if it was _her_ skin... It felt rough, hard...and too big.

_Go deeper_...

Nothing happened.

She had done melding a few times with other Asari researchers carrying important information...but never had there been _resistance_...

She _pushed_...and something slid aside.

"Give me your money!" The words were sharp, uttered by an angry Shepard, his tone carrying a note of desperation. "_Now_!"

"P-please I don't...it's just a single credit!" A stranger's voice, shaking. "N-no! He-here I-" A grunt, a groan...a moan of pain...and the scent of blood was around her.

_No_.

"M-mother?" Her own voice, small, a child's.

Her mother's voice, cold, dismissive. "Not now little wing, I'm working."

"B-but I-"

"I _said_, not now."

_No_.

"Mom?" Shepard's voice, pained, different, not even a teen.

A creaking.

"M-mom?"

A man's voice, rough and hoarse: "Hey kid, beat it, I've paid for the full hour, let her enjoy the fucking pot while I enjoy the fucking."

A chuckle, loud in her ears.

_No_.

"Goodbye mother." Her own voice, older, colder, trembling with emotions suppressed. "I'm leaving."

"That's it? After all I've done for you?" Her mother's voice, venomous, yet _still _dismissive, _always_ dismissive... "You are wasting your potential."

"And it's mine to waste, not yours."

A slammed door.

_No_..._deeper_!

Gunfire, screams, people dying.

Guilt, a deep, stinging _guilt_...

"Shepard! We can't hold them! We need to-"

A push, not her own, Michael's, a distant _no_...

Terror...ground-shattering terror..._waves_ of it.

Her concentration wavered, then she tried to focus on it, make it tangible, a _picture_...

Danger, there was danger, no one knowing what to do, leaders gone, planets aflame...

Michael's voice, hard, angry, defiant: "Unacceptable..."

_Focus_...

Message was chaotic, even without the impressions coming in mixed order, as if it had been sent in a great hurry.

Danger, a planet, important...something missing...something _missing_...hidden, not to be found..._hidden_!

_Go deeper_...

Terror, _more_ terror, screaming, dying, screams across time and space, frozen still, now unleashed, _coming_ at her...a _galaxy_ screaming...

A _galaxy_!

"No!" Liara tumbled backwards, clutching her head as she in panic cut the connection, her head swimming, the room spinning...rising, _falling_...

With a grunt she fell down on the floor, arms catching Wrex's legs as she landed between them, his clawed hands instantly on her shoulders, stopping her from tumbling further.

Gasping for breath she ignored the worried questions rising from the room as she looked over at Michael.

He didn't even seem to breathe as he stood there, arms tense and shaking as he held them to his sides, head bowed as he stared at his feet...then looked up at her.

The gaze was naked, pained, fearful..._frightening_.

Then something slid into place, kind concern smoothing his own worries, covering them from her as he took a step forward. "Are you okay? Did you find anything of use?"

"I...I'm fine..." Liara replied, the lie easily escaping her lips as Wrex rose, his powerful grip helping her to her feet before he released her. Letting her right hand come up to push some sweat away from her forehead she shook her head: "There was...much there...it will take time to decipher." She frowned, ignoring Ashley's scoff. "It's clearly a warning though, and there was something...hidden, as if it had been encrypted...very strange..."

She didn't say anything of what she had felt _before_ the message, and was thankful Michael didn't as he nodded: "It's better than nothing, and if you can decipher it...it would help."

Liara bowed her head, managing a shaky smile. "I'll begin on it immediately Commander, it's the least I can do."

Michael looked back, the warmth of his gaze slipping away...replaced by something cold and calculating, making Liara turn her head away. Even his words lacked the earlier warmth: "Good, thank you Liara."

That was when there was a beep from the ceiling.

Then the pilot's voice: "Erm...Shepard...Council's on the line...they don't sound happy..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her assistance._


	21. Chapter 21

They had been ordered back to the citadel.

It was a waste of time, Michael knew it.

_Primary objective of campaign is to capture or kill Saren Arterius, secondary Benezia, tertiary is the defeat of the Geth_. He squared his shoulders, brushing aside the jab of irritation entering his mind at the thought. _Reporting to the council of minor advances is not an objective, rather it's impeding progress_..._insulting the Council at this stage would be inadvisable however_.

He had managed to turn it into something productive at least. A shore leave was always appreciated, would raise morale and make the team better able to handle the stress of when they went back to the mission.

And they _really_ wanted one. _That's the problem with caring, it's too personal_. He shrugged the thought off._ Caring vital, continue_.

Glancing back Michael saw the rest of the ground team, per his order they were armed and armoured, one could never be sure how many agents Saren still had on the Citadel after all...

But the way they scuffled and stamped their feet – packed close as they were – as they waited for the decontamination-chamber to open the door ahead, showed that their minds were on anything but any potential danger.

_Will meet them at flux after meeting, could serve to raise morale_. He shot a glance back, at Ashley, the woman shooting a dangerous grin back. _Will have to be careful_...

In front of him and slightly to his right Liara stood, the woman having more space then the rest of them as the others of the ground team stayed away from her, as if she carried some sort of disease. Michael could understand their reluctance to trust the Asari, but the current behaviour towards her was nothing if not petty.

Michael on the other hand found it surprisingly difficult _not_ to trust her. _Potential brainwash from melding_? He had studied the melding-process via the extranet in detail afterwards though, _nothing_ said anything about any sort of brainwashing. No, it was simple trust that she'd been honest about her mother, and an..._impression_, a _mark_ within him...as if part of her still lingered in his mind. A part full of dedication of her work, of frustration, of a deeply logical mind struggling to be heeded, of a hundred and six years of living, yet being seen as a child...

A part of him – which he steadfastly ignored – fearfully wondered if he had marked her too.

He looked down at the woman. Liara might be tall for an Asari, but that wasn't much in comparison to him. And she looked very much like a small child at the moment, despite the scientist-suit she wore. Rubbing her shoulders nervously the woman kept switching the foot she leaned on, eyes darting left and right in the small compartment, as if fearing the very walls, then turning her stare on the door, fearing the imminent opening.

_Fear understandable, Council likely to be hostile judging by their message_. He took a deep breath, but the decision had already been made. _Will protect and deflect, she is an important resource, worth protecting_... He shot her another glance. ..._to a certain point, mission takes priority_.

With a hiss of air and the thump of machinery the door cracked open, then slid aside, revealing the purple light of the Citadel's sun. _Widow_...it was an ominous name for a star, all the more so for Liara as she with reluctant steps took the lead, surprising Michael for a moment. He quickly caught up with her though as he stepped out onto the platform the Normandy had docked with, the rest of the ground team shuffling after, eager to be released from duty.

Just as he was about to turn to do just that though Michael stopped, seeing two Turians in the armour of Citadel security coming at them, both having their assault rifles drawn but lowered. Michael's raised hand to wave the others away dropped.. _Possible danger, hold position_. He let his other hand rest upon his pistol.

The two officers didn't seem overly bothered by his stance though, in fact one of them bowed his head respectfully as he said: "Spectre Shepard, we are here to escort you and Miss T'soni to the council chamber." He shot a glance at the team at Michael's back. "The order did not include these other people sir..."

"Of course." Michael replied, voice calm. "Don't worry officer. Shall we?" He nodded towards the exit.

"Yes sir." The other officer replied, stepping forward as he held his assault rifle with one hand, the other pulling forth a pair of handcuffs as he moved for a hesitating Liara...

"_Stop_."

Michael's order was snapped so hurriedly that the officer actually took a step back, blinking eyes focusing on the outstretched palm facing him.

Then the Turian's eyes narrowed. "Sir...we are under _orders_ to-"

"Is she a criminal?" Michael snapped back. _Bringing her in cuffs implies she is a criminal, will make my objective of recruiting her more difficult, Council plan unknown, but potentially hampering if they want her arrested_. "Is she a charged with something?"

The officer holding the cuffs hesitated, looking to the other who now took a hesitant step forward, mandibles clicking in confusion. "Well..._no_...but-"

"Then you have no right to cuff her." Michael narrowed hard eyes at the officer, making him take a step back. "As a Spectre I'm more than capable of restraining her if it comes down to it, there is no need for the cuffs and I'm _ordering_ you to put them away and lead us to the council." _Authority settled, claim of ability soothing any possible worry, encouragement also needed_. He made a conciliatory face. "Do so and this incident will not be mentioned in any report."

The two officers exchanged another look, the one with the cuffs grimacing as he with a huff said: "Our orders comes from the _Council_, if we don't-"

"If so they should have come with a reason." Michael narrowed his eyes at the officer...who lowered the cuffs. "Unless she's charged with something you are not allowed to cuff her. Doing so would be a crime, as such the Council's order is illegal and obeying it would be illegal as well...which an internal investigation would show." The man with the cuffs glared at him, making Michael put a heavy hand on Liara's shoulder as he coldly looked back. "An investigation I would ensure would get you suspended or worse."

Silence, the cuffs rising...then dropping...then shaking as they were raised once more.

Cold blue eyes meeting the angry grey ones of the Turian.

Finally the other Turian took a step forth, a clawed hand dropping onto his comrade's shoulder as he muttered: "We could have misheard the full order...nothing wrong with that..."

A long moment of hesitation, the Turian with the cuffs glaring at Michael, then at the pale Liara.

Finally he shrugged, putting the cuffs away. "Whatever." He shot Michael a venomous look. "But this was _your_ order, if something goes wrong...or the Council gets mad...it's _your_ ass."

"I'll _try_ to live with it." Michael dryly replied, squeezing Liara's shoulder reassuringly, making some colour return to her face._ She must not fall apart, such could be exploited. Secondary objective to keep her calm_.

With an odd feeling of the Council suddenly having become his enemy Michael led Liara after the two officers now walking towards an elevator, his one hand waving the other to get to their chore leave even as the other held onto a slightly shaking Liara.

_Primary objective, to keep her with the ship and crew where she can be used_.

Looking at the stiff gait of the Turian officers' and pondering the Council's order Michael felt a worm of worry wiggle in his gut.

_Primary objective will be difficult_.

8

8

8

The Council chamber echoed eerily quiet to the sound of their footsteps.

Gone were the administrators, the lawyers, the people and the reporters...there were none but them there.

It was not surprising given the sensitivity of the subject, yet Michael still found it worrying as he stalked up the final steps to the central chamber. Ahead he could see the Council, the three aliens looking down the approaching group with carefully neutral gazes.

Glancing to his right Michael exchanged a look with Anderson, offering the Captain a nod that made the man carefully smile back, as if trying to reassure Michael that all was right. _Udina's not present, not wanting to be implicated in whatever will happen, facts speaks against the reassurance_. Nonetheless Michael dutifully smiled back.

Between the two Liara walked, hands stiff to her side, steps getting more and more reluctant as they crossed the final distance. _Reinforce secondary objective_. Michael put a hand upon her shoulder, squeezing.

And then the trio stopped, the scrape of their shoes loud in the nearly empty chamber.

Silence, the three councillors looking down at the trio, their faces unreadable.

Then the Asari spoke, eyes flickering to her left. "This meeting will now come to order." Following her gaze Michael saw the hologram of Avina, the Citadel's virtual intelligence, glow in an alcove, the hologram sitting on an equally virtual chair as its hands moved to type on an invisible typewriter, showing that things were being put on record.

_On record_...he frowned, looking back to the council. _They want conversation on record, it's important for them, why_?

It was the Asari who spoke up again: "Let me first state that we've been impressed by your most recent report Shepard, your ability to fight and defeat the Geth can not be in question."

_But what can_? Michael bowed his head and shot Anderson a glance, seeing the man frown in worry. "Thank you Councillor, I am honoured."

"May I add to the record that Miss T'soni here isn't in cuffs as ordered." The Turian cut in, waving a hand at the shirking scientist. "This should be rectified, I thought we ordered her to be cuffed?"

"You did, Councillor." Michael replied, again bowing his head as he kept his tone respectful. _Again on record, it's important, why_? "But given that this T'soni is not charged with a crime cuffing her would be illegal, I did not wish the Council to perform an illegal action and in so doing sully its good name..."

This time all three Councillors glanced at Avina, a look of worry crossing the Salarian's face, but the alien was also the quickest to recover as he with his nasal voice replied: "So you thought it _wise_ to counteract our order? To let the daughter of a traitor, both who are powerful biotics, into the Council chamber alone with the leaders of Citadel space?"

Now it was Michael's turn to glance at Avina._ Decision questioned on record, decision coming down to judgement, therefore my judgement is being questioned, why_? "As I said Councillor, it would be illegal, and while Liara T'soni is the daughter of a traitor she herself is not."

"_That_, has yet to be proven." The Turian scoffed, eyes narrowing down at the quiet Liara, making her become even smaller.

"Now hang on here." Anderson's voice _still_ held the hint of steel of a man in charge, and one who _knew_ how to use that fact. "Our court-system is based on one not being guilty until proven otherwise, not the other way around." He shot Michael a supportive nod, and Michael smiled back in encouragement. _Support from high-ranked Captain's useful, though of course his neutrality could be questioned, still, everything's useful_...

"Miss T'soni was found on a planet overwhelmed by Geth, Geth no doubt intent on taking her, and she's the daughter of a powerful Matriarch." The Asari pointed out, looking from Anderson to Michael. "While many humans doesn't understand this the loyalty owed to a Matriarch, even more so one that is your mother, is a powerful thing in Asari society, not to be discarded lightly."

The Turian nodded in agreement. "And if she's willing to discard the loyalty to her mother like that, think of how easy the loyalty to the Citadel could falter." His eyes narrowed as he glared down at Liara, muttering what sounded like a quote: "Weak loyalty is a weak character..."

"It could be argued that discarding loyalty to Benezia proves her loyalty to the Citadel and this council." Michael retorted, squeezing Liara's shoulder tightly as the Asari wobbled where she stood. "And the Geth were trying to take her by force, and she was resisting, her being a traitor is unlikely." He found himself unable to stop himself from adding: "Which you should be aware of."

A hiss of anger escaped the Turian Councillor, but it was the Asari who answered: "Unlikely does not mean the danger does not _exist, _Commander. Understand, we are not questioning her loyalty, we are questioning your report's show of trust in her, you should not be so quick to trust a person that's potentially a traitor. No Spectre should."

Michael noticed the Turian's glance at Avina even as he squared his shoulders. _Ah, not an assault on T'soni then, but one at me, or rather, my judgement, on record_... "_Unlikely_ to be a traitor, some risks must be taken to gain results, surely the Council understands this?"

"Of course, Commander." The Asari nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yet...we do not wish you to fail because of a lack of caution."

"I will heed this advice." Michael retorted with a small bow of his head. _They wish me to proceed, but on record that they disagree with my judgement. Why_? He shrugged the thought aside. _Irrelevant at time, focus on primary objective_. "What of my decision to bring miss T'soni along with me?"

"That is _your_ decision." The Turian snorted. "But if she endangers the mission I _assure_ you that the Council will take steps, we have other Spectre's, Spectre's with more sense in them."

The Asari shot her fellow Councillor an irritated look, then turned back to Michael with a shake of her head: "If you want her to decipher that vision of yours..." The Turian sighed and rolled his eyes at the words, the Salarian looked away in disinterest. "...we can keep her here, there is no need for her to come along with you."

"True." Michael agreed, but raised a hand before anyone could speak. "But I prefer if she's at hand for further meldings and analyses of potential finds, not to mention that the powerful biotics the Council previously mentioned makes her more then able to assist the ground team."

"Ah yes, _very_ wise." The Turian's voice _dripped_ with sarcasm, shaking his head as he looked down at Michael: "And what happens when, or rather _if_, you find Benezia? Will her loyalty to _you_ overrule that to her _mother_? Or will she try a compromise? Try to seize her mother in a non-violent way that risks your entire operation?" Again he shook his head. "These are questions you should ask yourself before so lightly wanting her to tag along your band, a group already having a duty-ignoring Turians, a mercenary scum and one of the nomads that _created_ the Geth in the first place."

Michael found his stance stiffening. "My team has proven their ability and loyalty time and time again, I disagree with _any_ disrespectful statements about them." He felt a hint of coldness around him as he glared up at the Turian.

The Turian simply glared back, not backing down.

"Apologies." The _Asari_ finally said. "No insult intended."

The Turian merely scoffed.

After a final glare sent the Turian's way Michael turned his gaze to the Asari: "As to Liara handling any future confrontation of her mother...why not ask her herself?" He gave the woman's shoulder a squeeze as he gently pushed Liara a step forward.

"I..." The scientist hesitated, looking up at the three Councillors...then shrugged, her voice surprisingly steady as she spoke, words that she must have practised beforehand, given how calmly they were recited: "I have not seen my mother in thirty years, when we parted it was not in anger, but in disinterest, we did not hate one another, but neither did we care for one another. To each other we have been strangers for not just forty years, but a near eighty."

Silence.

Then Liara took a deep breath and continued: "Benezia might be my mother in blood, but to me she's just another stranger, a stranger I've learnt to be a traitor. Commander Shepard has asked me to accompany him, and I will do that out of loyalty to the Citadel, a wish to defend myself from those that tried to hurt me at Therum, and a wish to continue my studies of the Protheans. Studies Saren clearly wanted knowledge of, knowledge I now willingly share with Commander Shepard, a man I already know better then my mother." A stiff shrug: "Any confrontation with my biological mother will not be an issue, for she will be a stranger."

Silence.

Then the Salarian, somewhat reluctantly, speaking: "Fine words, _if_ they are true." He shot Avina a glance.

Michael glanced over at Anderson, who shrugged, the Captain looking tired all of a sudden.

Then the Asair spoke, her voice soft: "We will not stop you from bringing Miss T'soni with you Commander Shepard." _Primary objective achieved_. Michael nodded in thanks even as the Asari shot Avina a glance: "Just...be careful. We do not wish to hamper your work, but you are, as you humans put it, playing with fire."

Next to her the Turian snorted, arms folded in front of him.

Michael ignored it, bowing low. "Thank you Councillors." _They wish to have on record that my judgement is in question, yet that they are reluctant to hamper me due to my efficiency._ He frowned as he kept bowing. _Strategically sound, if I succeed they will have been supporting me, yet if I fail they will have been questioning my judgement, either way they either gain or are blameless_. A flood of bitterness rushed against him, but he pushed it away as best he cold.. _Politicians_..._always the same, Skyllian Blitz or not_. "Your trust is well placed."

"We'll see." The Turian once again snorted, glancing at the other two before waving dismissively at the trio before them. "This meeting is adjourned, we expect more results _soon_, Commander."

"Of course..." Michael took a step forward, hand landing on Liara's shoulder and leading the pale Asari away, Anderson coming up behind them, gait stiff with anger. "...Councillors."

And Michael left, a bad taste in his mouth.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her feedback._


	22. Chapter 22

Ashley liked Flux.

It was large – which after the cramped space of the Normandy felt wonderful – it was friendly – which after getting_ shot at_ every time one left the Normandy was equally nice – and it contained alcohol – no one should _ever_ forget the alcohol.

It was also loud, had a nice atmosphere and lots of people, reminding Ashley that there indeed _was_ a world outside of the Alliance fighting mercenaries, pirates and Geth. _Guess it's good to be reminded of what you're fighting for_. Ashley glanced back, seeing couples dancing upon the stage she swore had gotten larger since last time they were at the nightclub, an Asari and her somewhat short Turian boyfriend marking themselves out as they dominated the stage. Shrugging she turned back to her table and her drink. _Well_..._I_ _guess we fight for them too now_..._never thought that would happen before_..._eh_..._fine by me_.

In contrast to last time the group wasn't drawing as much attention, Ashley wasn't sure why, they were still armed and armoured, still in a corner of the room, just like last time. T_hough we don't have a glowing map with us_..._oh and we're drinking, and relaxing_..._and clearly off duty_..._actually it's not that surprising come to think of it_. She looked down at the glass in her hand with a frown, she had asked the Volus owner to surprise her with the drink...and now regretted it. _It's_ _green_..._and_ _sluggish_..._and I swear I saw something __moving__ in it_...

_Ah screw it_.

Gingerly raising the glass she brought it to her lips and took a careful sip. She had expected something fruity, instead it was tangy, thick and...not all that bad.

Keeping the glass in front of her, upper lip sliding over the edge to nip at the nearly full drink, Ashley looked around the sizable table the group had grabbed. To her right Garrus sat, the Turian looking down at his drink, eyes distant, the man not really there. Further to the right, dominating that side of the rectangular table, Wrex sat, one hand closed around his glass, the other under the table as he looked around himself with a peculiar look of interest as those large ruddy eyes followed the many people coming and going.

Tali was sitting opposite Garrus, surprisingly close to Wrex, an empty chair to her right, a chair she now and then glanced at. Compared to Wrex, and with an empty space next to her, she looked awfully small. It didn't help that she was leaning her elbows on the table, shoulders bunched up against her long neck and the odd straw she used tucked into the black cylinder set in the socket of her helmet – the one with the light that was her speech-unit sat on the table – and ending in a blood-red drink.

If the Quarians had any hair – and if it wasn't hidden by a helmet – Ashley would have felt forced to ruffle Tali's. _She's too darn cute for her own good_..._damn_ _I_ _miss_ _my_ _baby_ _sisters_... "Hey Tali, the drink, is it good?" Ashley knew she couldn't drink it because of the two's different types of DNA...but it never hurt to be polite...which was a hard thing to remember at times she had to admit...

The Quarian looked up from her slurping of the drink, the left silvery orb behind her visor becoming narrower, probably meaning that she was giving Ashley a weird look. A shrug and the woman tapped her helmet, or rather, where her speech-unit was no longer attached in favour of the one for food.

_Oh_... Ashley looked away with a blush she hoped the darkness of the club would conceal, not that it would help, Tali seemed to have a knack for telling your state of mind with less then a look. "Sorry, my bad."

For the briefest of moments she expected an answer from the Quarian, then remembered herself with a roll of her eyes._ Great, either I'm already getting tipsy or I've developed the memory of a goldfish_.

That's when she noticed Kaidan. Or rather that the man to her left was looking at her with a smirk – his own drink forgotten on the table – making her arch an eyebrow in question.

A small chuckle, lost to the thump of the music, and the man shook his head: "I wasn't aware that's how you drink...is Ashley Williams the unstoppable afraid of a drink?"

Putting the glass down Ashley returned the smirk: "Perhaps taunting the unstoppable is a bad idea?" Putting her own glass down and pushing it a bit away from herself she shook her head with a snort: "Besides, there's _nothing_ here but to drink..." She glanced back at the man, shooting him a small glare: "...it _seems_."

"Huh? Did I miss something?" Kaidan looked so honestly confused that Ashley found a laugh bubbling out of her, making her playful glare loose what little edge it had. "I mean there's gambling, always thought you'd like that, not to mention that large dance floor..."

"Oh yes, the _dance_ floor..." Ashley rolled her eyes, still chuckling as she shook her head at the ceiling. _God_..._why do you make the good ones morons_? "..._never_ thought about that. Despite having mentioned my desire to dance...what..._three_ times?"

"Four." Wrex muttered, not looking away from his crowd-watching.

"Oh..." Kaidan blinked, eyes blank, then blinked again. "_Ohhhh_..."

"Wow...he _finally_ gets it." Ashley shook her head, grinning at the idiot even as she nodded towards Garrus: "Honestly, Mr stick-up-his-ass here would have gotten it before you if he wasn't so fascinated with his glass."

"Huh?" Garrus looked up sharply, blinking furiously. "I'm sorry...what?"

"Nothing." Ashley shook her head at the man, gesturing for the Turian's drink: "Keep looking for pennies...or whatever you're doing."

"Sorry...just...some things on my mind." Garrus muttered in reply, his gaze already drawn back to his drink.

"Whatever." Ashley waved dismissively at the Turian before fixing her grin on a hesitant Kaidan: "So how about it Lieutenant? Or is the big bad music making your poor head faint?" She shot him a playful wink.

For the briefest of moments it looked as if Kaidan was actually going to take the bait, which would be a first, but as usual his cool _just_ managed to win out against her little jab...and he shook his head, a look of conflict on his face: "I'm sorry chief...but it wouldn't be proper and all...we're after all still-"

"It's just a _dance_ Kaidan." Ashley shook her head at his stupidity, yet couldn't stop the grin growing on her face. "I'm not proposing, or what...friends can't dance together now?"

"Sure." The man nodded, frowning. "I just think that certain protocols should still be-"

"Keelah." Tali's groan made them both look over at the Quarian, her speech-unit now in place as she tucked her straw and black cylinder for food away into one of the many hidden pockets in her suit. She was shaking her head at Kaidan: "I wish I'd learnt one of my people's many dances...this music is good and if you know how to dance you _should_ dance..."Another shake of her head: "...or do you wish to lose this skill by not practising?"

Ashley shot the Quarian a thankful look, knowing she had probably spoken up in support rather then voicing an actual opinion. Then she looked back to Kaidan, grinning widely: "_See_? Even Miss workaholic here thinks you should come dancing, so _come on_."

A smile slowly grew on Kaidan's face as he leant his head against a hand and looked at her with twinkling eyes: "What's with you and these new nicknames?"

"You started it and-" She blinked. "Ohhhh no you don't, don't change the subject!" She could tell Kaidan's reluctance was evaporating and half-rose where she sat as she reached for his arm. "If you keep stalling I'll just have to drag your sorry ass-"

Michael.

Ashley found her words cut off as she spotted the man stalking towards them, am arm protectively draped over a hesitant-looking Liara.

The hand reaching for Kaidan's arm came down on the table. _Ah_..._he_ _succeeded_. She knew that was good, that it would mean another helping hand, a good lead on Saren and all...and _shouldn't_ lead to her to feel _bitter_. She also knew that she had learnt to trust the other aliens of the group, because they had _earned_ it.

She _didn't_ trust Miss traitor-Junior though, with her big blue eyes, her strutting walk, her soft voice, her freaky alien _sex-like_ melding thing...

Ashley forced herself to unclench her teeth, even to smile, however fleeting it was: "Hey there Michael, you two were gone a good while, seems you won out though?"

"Commander Shepard is quite the debater, he convinced the Council to keep me with you." Liara replied, making Ashley tense. _I wasn't talking to __you_...

"It wasn't _that_ difficult." Michael said, the man pulling out the chair opposite Wrex's for Liara, making Ashley's toes curl in her boots with irritation even as the Asari politely bowed her head and sat down. "To be honest I suspect they were already planning to release you into my custody, this hearing was more for the sake of..." He shrugged, an unreadable look passing his face before he smiled: "...protocol, nothing to worry about."

_Nothing my ass_...Ashley finally sat down, shooting Liara a glance she hoped was neutral before looking at Michael as he sat down next to Tali: "So that's it? You can relax and have a drink with us common grunts now?"

"Common?" Michael echoed, looking around at the disparate group with an arched eyebrow, then shot Ashley a smirk: "You're all a bunch of freaks as far as I'm concerned."

Ashley opened her mouth in quick retort, only to be cut off by Liara: "Commander! Why would you _say_ such a thing!" The woman actually looked horrified...and Ashley rolled her eyes. _Okay, that's it_...

"It's a human thing..." Garrus muttered, not looking up from his drink.

"Why would-"

Ashley couldn't help it, she interrupted Liara: "Hey Tali, I need to go to the bathroom."

The Quarian visibly paused at the sentence, then shrugged, tone confused: "Okay...so..._go_?"

_Oh right_..._damn_ _alien cultures_ _never_ _getting_ _stuff_. "I'd like some company..." She leant her head forward, eyeing the girl tensely.

The Quarian cocked her head to the side. "That's the oddest thing..." She suddenly glanced to her right, at Liara. "...I..." Another shrug, followed by a sigh: "...verywell...Keelah humans are odd..."

Rising to her feet Ashley took a step towards the bathrooms...only to stop as Michael spoke: "Ashley."

"Yes?" She looked down at him.

And found him silently nod towards Liara. _No_! Another nod, more insistent, eyes narrowing in a frown. _No_..._you_..._we're supposed to be talking __about__ her_... A third nod, the man's shoulders bunching up as he leant forward, eyes cold. _Dammit_...

"Oh right, Liara, do you want to come along?" She said it lightly, but it was like spitting out barbed wire._ Please say no_...

"Very well." Liara shrugged, looking around the crowded nightclub tensely. "I could use some time to...adapt to this..."

"Great." Ashley muttered, rising fully, then glancing down and noting Kaidan staring down into his drink, looking mopish. _Oh for_..._what's_ _eating_ _him_ _up_ _now_!

Before she had time to think about it she was moving, Tali and – _ugh_ – Liara in tow.

_Fuck_...

8

8

8

As in any nightclub the ladies room was filled to capacity.

_Doesn't matter if it's a human or alien, or how large it is_..._it's_ _always_ _full_... Ashley held back a sigh as she brushed past a nearly purple Asari doing her eyebrows in the larger mirror lining the entire left wall of the bathroom.

There were no surprises to find in the ladies room. It was long and large, the left wall a mirror and a long counter lined with sinks, the right lined with dozens of white-walled stalls. Sure, there were many women looking at the three new arrivals, a few even grimacing, but what could one expect when entering the place with guns strapped to you?

With the subject of Liara now closed, that with her coming with them, Ashley wasn't sure what to talk about, and to buy time she kept walking towards the end of the room as she pondered her options.

Only to stop.

_I __completely__ forgot about Kaidan and that dance_..._no_ _wonder_ _he_ _got_ _annoyed_...

She slapped her forehead._ I'm such an __idiot_! _For God's sake_..._great_..._now I have to make up for it_. _Hope he's not too mad_..._well he didn't want to dance to start with, though I don't think that's much help now_..._damn it_! _I who have problems making friends even __without__ me messing up like this_..._I'll get him something to make up for it_... She grimaced. _Something friendly_..._yes_..._friendly_...

Another grimace of irritation. _God I'm messed up_...

Then she blinked, looking around herself with a start: "Erm...where did everybody go?" Looking around herself she noticed that they indeed were alone in the bathroom, only her, Tali and Liara left, the Asari looking at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, looking a little more relaxed now that there were less people around.

Tali on the other hand looked tense, the Quarian leaning against one of the stalls, arms folded in front of her and head tossing defiantly towards the door behind her, tone short and angry: "Left."

"Why?" Ashley shot Liara a suspicious look, then thought better of it and instead tried sniffing the air. There was nothing but the smell of soap however, soap and something lemony...

"Oh _please_." Tali snorted, straightened, arm dropping to her sides, the thin hands curling into fists, fists she didn't seem to know where to put as she swung them back and forth around her hips. He voice was acid with bitterness: "A _Quarian_ entering a _public_ toilet? She's _obviously_ there to steal from everyone's purses..." Another snort, another defiant toss of her head. "..bosh'tet's..."

"Oh..." Ashley winced. "...I didn't...realise that..." She sought for words, but found none.

"They usually don't." Tali shrugged, the bitterness replaced by weariness. "As a Quarian you just have to be used to people...'_knowing_'...what you're like..." She shook her head, shoulders slumping as she looked down at her feet. "...it's a bit...tiresome to be so..._disliked_...because of who you are..." The words petered out...and Ashley found her heart aching.

Guilt, it _dug_ into her.

_And I thought __humans__ were seen as second class citizen_... Ashley looked around herself, the empty bathroom echoing with that of her shattered illusion. _But humans are still not as well thought of as most others right_? _So it's not like I was actually __wrong_... She again looked at the bathroom, then to the dejected-looking Tali looking at Liara – as the oblivious Asari continued washing her hands – with something that actually looked like _jealousy_._ I mean we too have our crosses to bear_... She glanced back to Tali, at the tight suit that she must have worn most of her life. _Some_..._bigger_ _then_ _others_...

Suddenly she felt petty.

Petty and _guilty_, as if she had personally offended Tali. _Okay, new thought, better distract her_..._us both actually_. "So...I take it you Quarian's don't usually go to public bathrooms then? Erm...how _do_ you go at _all_!"

A weary laugh escaped Tali, the Quarian shaking her head. "Disinfectants and plastic..._skirt_ I guess you could call it...capable of closing into something air-tight..." Another shake of her head, this time more animated, her tone softening: "You're as bad as Shepard...you humans and your weird questions..."

_Now_ Liara looked up, looking interested. _Ugh_...Ashley forced herself not to roll her eyes. "Curiosity is a valuable trait, I'm considered somewhat odd among Asari for being just that...some have called me more Salarian then Asari... Tell me, what other traits do humans possess?"

_Oh yes, can imagine you as a bug-eyed Salarian, that's a fun image_...Ashley's polite smile came surprisingly quickly: "Traits differ among humans, you can't point at a human and say she's this and this...I mean surely all species have _some_ diversity. Just look at Garrus." _God, can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth_...

"I see." Liara bowed her head, looking pleased. _Dammit, I'm not supposed to bond with __you_...

"Though one trait all humans seem to possess is the fascination with bodily functions." Ashley half-joked, looking back at Tali, hoping to keep the conversation away from Liara. "So Tali...how do you Quarians...you _know_..."

"Shepard asked the same thing..." The Quarian looked away with a sigh, though her tone was light and not a little amused: "...Keelah...thought I was going to die."

"Why?" Ashley blurted out, then found a small gasp escape her as she held her hands to her mouth to conceal her delighted smile: "Oh you were _embarrassed_...and that must mean...oh God that's so _cute_!"

"It's not like sex is _easy_ to have for a Quarian!" Tali snapped in irritation, arms crossing in front of her even as the tone softened: "It takes preparations...medicines..." She looked away. "..._trust_..."

"Ah, saving yourself for the nicest Quarian of them all eh?" Ashley's smile tugged wider. "You're not making this any less cute..."

"I'm twenty-two..." Tali grumbled, shaking her head. "...why must I always be _cute_? Damn tall people all around...I'm not a child..."

_Okay, less fun now_. "I didn't mean it like that Tali..." Ashley shrugged, trying to sound casual: "...and cute is _good_...I couldn't pull it off...even when I'd want to." _Say when Michael's looking my way_...

"I guess..." Tali harrumphed, shrugging.

"If it helps I'm a virgin too." They both looked away, at Liara, finding the Asari's cheeks slightly purple now as she looked back at them, then shrugged, voice soft: "Nothing but the truth, my age and research hasn't left much time for..._that_."

"Wait..." Ashley blinked, remembering them talking to her on the Normandy during the briefing. "...didn't you say you had researched the Protheans for fifty _years_? How old are you anyway?"

Liara bowed her head. "I admit I'm only a hundred and six."

Ashley coughed, then spluttered. "A hundred and-! You're _ancient_!"

"Actually Asari can live to be-"

"And you _still_ haven't done it!" Ashley shook her head, taking a step back away from the craziness. "Man you have to have some _seriously_ pent up energy..."

Liara frowned. "I fail to understand how one is connected to the other, I've yet to feel any need for such things..."

"Wow...just..._wow_." Ashley smirked, feeling smug, then grinned. "Hmmm...we should find you a man here then. He could help you with that problem." _Would get you away from Michael too_...

Liara blinked, mouth opening to reply, yet no words came, then looked to Tali, who shrugged.

"Not too big, not a Turian either, don't want you to suffer from chafing the first time around..." Ashley shot Liara a conspiratorial wink. _Actually the chafing would do you good, a little bleeding's always good to cure you from feeling superior_...

Tali shook her head as Liara shifted her stance, cheeks growing a deep purple. "Ashley this isn't really-"

"...oh and maybe someone black, I think you'd appreciate the different hue, oh and lean I think, that way he won't be too heavy for the fragile little flower..." Ashley chuckled. "And perhaps he should-"

"Who said it had to be a man?"

Ashley blinked, looking over at Liara as the Asari smiled back, though still blushing. "E-excuse me?"

"Asari are _known_ to be able to sleep with any species...and gender isn't really an issue either..." Liara replied, suddenly taking a smooth step forward.

_What the_...? "I don't..."

Liara was _closer_ now, the blush full on her cheeks, blue skin shining in the light of the lamps, smiling faintly, making Ashley's heart skip a beat. "So why not a _woman_? Someone to show me _true_ pleasure, who knows the body of someone female with _far_ more knowledge..."

Ashley gulped, taking a hesitant step back. "I...I..."

"Smooth skin...gentle and caressing...for _hours_ at end..." Liara muttered the words, though they seemed painfully loud to Ashley as the Asari stepped _close_. Taking a shaky breath Ashley caught a whiff of something _sweet_...and drew in _deep_...

_Oh God what did I just do_! Stumbling back she stared at Liara, eyes wide with shock. _I did not __just __smell__ her_! _I_..._God_!

"What did you just do?" Tali asked, sounding confused, a small echo compared to what Ashley felt. _B_-_but_..._I'm_ _straight_!

Liara's blush was in full force, though she smiled in what could only be victory as she kept looking at Ashley while replying: "Oh just a demonstration of Asari pheromones...I've heard it's quite startling to females of other species the first time they notice it...seems it was correct." A short pause, the Asari cocking her head to the side as she watched Ashley: "Wasn't it?"

_I did __not__ just get beaten by the hundred and six year old virgin_... Ashley shook her head, looking away...then managed a weak smile. "Fine, you've made your point, no more teasing about your virginity."

Liara sighed in relief: "Thank you."

"Tali's still cute though."

"Keelah..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her kudos._


	23. Chapter 23

His head throbbed pleasantly.

It wasn't that Kaidan _liked_ the throbbing, but it was gentle enough to ignore, a pleasant distraction, keeping the usual thumping at the base of his neck at bay. He hadn't exactly gotten drunk yesterday either, so the it wasn't even a proper hangover, just...a nice little throb in a band across his skull.

_Of course I'll regret that if the headache turns into a migraine_. He shrugged as he walked, knowing there was nothing to do about it. If he felt the thumping from his implants he could always act before it turned into a migraine, usually stopping them...but now with that alcohol-induced throbbing there was no forewarning.

_At least it's not a pounding, despite how much I ended up drinking_. He shot Ashley an unsure glance. Walking next to him the woman looked a bit tightly wound, her shoulders high, her gait stiff and her jaw clenched. It was no doubt partly due to her drinking – she'd beaten him quite soundly in that department after the dance she had coaxed out of Michael had ended with him apologising for having to leave to do some work – as well as their current assignment.

Sighing Kaidan turned his gaze to the two ahead, finding Michael and Liara walking side to side, close, heads bowed as they spoke, words too low to pick up.

It wasn't surprising that the sight had Ashley seething, it was..._tiresome_...but not surprising. _Perhaps he should not have picked us two as their backup_? _But_ _then_ _again_, _who_ _else_?

Wrex had left in the middle of their evening, apparently Michael didn't mind the Krogan working on the side, something Kaidan found a bit puzzling.

As to Tali and Garrus, the two were off in a different part in the Wards buying various electronic equipment for the ship and the ground-team. With Tali perhaps knowing more about the ship then the engineers who _built_ it, the two being the ground-team's engineering experts – closely followed by Kaidan himself – and Garrus having adopted the Mako as his own baby it wasn't surprising that the two had been picked to do those purchases.

_Garrus_...Kaidan grimaced at the memory of the Turian exclaiming his glee at the opportunity to turn its main gun on any criminal scum on sight. It was brutal and spiteful, one should never _enjoy_ killing, only know it's necessity, yet Garrus seemed to _revel_ in it...the only conciliatory fact being that it was only aimed at those judged as enemies..._ I hate that man_. Kaidan shrugged the thought aside, Garrus was useful, he had to admit that, _good_ even, as such Kaidan could only grin and bear his company.

Of course this only left the two Alliance soldiers to guard the Spectre and their new squad-mate as well as the resource of Prothean knowledge as the group went to get her some personal equipment before they left birth. Kaidan didn't mind it at all, he could see the logic of Michael's choice to bring Liara along, even if he found the man a bit too trusting. _Perhaps the melding has ensured a bond of trust_? _They certainly seem to feel that already_. He noted the way both continued to bow their heads as they spoke, the odd word reaching Kaidan's ears, mostly Prothean or Reaper related as far as he could tell.

Ashley was obviously of another opinion, the woman openly glaring at the Asari's back, the hangover she no doubt suffered from making her even _more_ easier to read then normal. _Her distrust is without a doubt part jealousy, she's already told me of how much of a fan she was of Michael even __before__ meeting him, and how he's turned out to be just as great a hero for humanity as she __thought he was. Reasoning from that_..._she_ _has_ _a_ _crush_ _on him, she'd never admit it, but it's obvious_. It was...an irritating thought.

_Why_?

He frowned as he walked, the throbbing of his head nearly forgotten. _She is my friend, I have no right to be upset about her crushing on our superior, even if it technically is against the rules_. The frown deepened. _Though he's now a Spectre_..._being with him wouldn't be a __clear__ case of fraternization any more_. Kaidan's stomach tightened at the realisation, making him hesitate. _I'm not suffering from some sort of crush for her am I? That would be ridiculous, we've only known each other for_..._little less then_ _a month isn't it_?

_Let's see...she's attractive, sure, I'll admit that. She's perhaps not an intellectual, but she has a pleasant down to earth kind of thinking that really helps putting things in perspective. Fun to tease her, even to be teased __by__ her_... _But nothing of that needs to mean romantic feelings_..._is it perhaps just jealousy of her worshipping the ground Michael walks on while she forgets about me_?

The memory of Flux came uninvited, how Ashley had been amusing with her demands for a dance...coaxing and fun...and then completely forgetting about him a moment later...it had...hurt...more then he cared to admit._ A bruised ego, how droll_. He nearly snorted at himself, yet the jab of pain didn't want to go away...

_Damn, now you're just being petty, she didn't exactly apologise, but she __did__ get you that book, clearly she showed that she wanted to make amends for ignoring her friend like that_. Kaidan nodded to the sound reasoning. _Perhaps I should get her something in return_... He founds his cheeks flush a little at the thought, but didn't dismiss it. _Yes, that sounds good_...

Looking up Kaidan's gaze went along the many stalls they were passing. The shopping area of the lower Wards was _huge_, and it was an assault of smells, sights and sounds that greeted his every sense, nearly _reverberated_ through him. _It's as if the place is alive, guess a city is, in a way, a life-form_... He smiled softly at the thought, he'd been thinking along those paths for some time, trying to appreciate the _magnitude_ of what they were trying to protect...and was pretty sure he was failing, it was just...too big.

_Maybe poetry, she likes that_. He frowned, not sure if poetry would give the best of messages... _A new gun would probably be appreciated_..._but that would probably just encourage her to spend even more time in the armoury, which I doubt __anyone__ wants_... _Maybe jewellery_? He flushed a little at the thought. _Right_..._something_ _neutral_ _in_ _that_ _case_, _maybe_ _a_ _bracelet_...

"What are you blushing about?" Kaidan jumped at the question intruding on his thoughts, cheeks turning crimson as he saw Ashley looking at him from under a bang of her hair, right corner of her lips raised in a smirk. "Honestly Kaidan, with such a poker-face it's a wonder you're as foolish as to play cards with the rest of us."

_Just wanted to socialise_... Kaidan cleared his throat, voice sounding lame in his own ears: "And here I thought my bluffs were fooling all of you..." He shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. "I _did_ win one hand..."

"You had a full house right from the start and...oh not _again_!" Ashley's hand shot out, fist rapping against Kaidan's shoulder, making him grateful of his armour as he stumbled a step to the left. "You're blushing about something and I'm bored waiting for miss waiffy here to get some gear, so spit it out already."

"You're being kind of rude, she's done nothing to insult _you_." Kaidan pointed out, glancing over at the two they were escorting, one a monster of a man armed and armoured to the teeth, the other a soft little Asari who was resting her index-finger on her lower lip as she with a worried look on her face looked at the different pistols on display before them. _Besides the melding with Michael which insults you since you obviously wish to jump him_... There was some bitterness in the thought. _There's not even a reason for it but that he's __Shepard_..._and some sort of raw sexual tension_... He grimaced at the thought. _How could anyone compete with __that__ for attention_?

"Just you wait until she takes those biotics and hurls you off a cliff and...God-dammit, stop doing that!" Ashley turned, eyes narrowing, gaze pinning Kaidan fast as she held his. "You're being all thoughtful and whatever those thoughts are they're making you blush, so out with it already!"

Kaidan glanced left and right, feeling trapped...only to straighten as he managed a hesitant glare back. "I don't _have_ to tell you anything."

For a moment Ashley just stood there...only for her to blink...and then to guffaw: "Ha! _True_! Didn't think you'd have the balls to say that to my face though!" She shot him another look, amused, teeth bared, making Kaidan's stomach tighten. _She's got something_..._feral_..._about her_. "You're tougher then you appear you know..."

He looked away towards the others, shrugged. "Well we can't have you walk right over me now can we?"

"Nah, not without a fight at least." He could _hear_ her smile in her voice...yet didn't dare looking at her...as well as finding his gaze drawn to a man pushing his way through the crowd.

His hand went to his hip, to his gun, but he didn't draw, seeing no discernible weapon on the man approaching them like it was a matter of life or death. There was only a goofy grin on the man's face, a sheen of sweat from a long run covering it and making his blond hair tousled. "Commander...Shepard!" He called out, making a Turian nearly fall over as he without apologising to the cursing alien smashed his way past him.

Michael visibly tensed where he stood, eyes glazing over from looking at the weapons on the table, the hand pointing at one for Liara suddenly clenching, as if wishing to grip the pistol. Then he turned, stance stiff, hands behind his back as he regarded the man coming to a tumbling halt before him. "Conrad wasn't it? It's...nice to see you again." Even _Kaidan_ could tell the man was failing to feign any sort of pleasure...

_Huh, never thought I'd see him_..._fazed_. The man however, amazingly, failed to notice Michael's tone as he with arms held wide, showing even further proof of how much he'd been sweating, gasped out: "I...heard...you...were...back! Can't...believe...I...caught...you!" The hands dropped to his knees as he nearly doubled over, breath wheezy. "Whew...record...time...I...think!"

"You know this..." Ashley muttered the words, hand making a confused gesture at the blonde man as she eyed him with a frown: "...man?"

"Conrad Verner." Michael nodded, glancing back at her, face struggling to look neutral...yet a grimace clearly about to come forth. "A...fan."

"Just don't let it get to your ego." Ashley chuckled, apparently not noticing Michael's discomfort.

Ignoring her teasing Michael turned his gaze back to Conrad, a sigh in his voice: "I have a _lot_ to do Conrad, we're leaving soon..."

"Of course, of course, never a dull moment for the likes of you eh?" Conrad grinned, an elbow coming forth to bump into Michael's shoulder in camaraderie. "Of course there _is_ none like you is there? The _first_ human Spectre...saviour of Eden Prime, hero of the Blitz..." The man shook his head in disbelief, grin turning comically wide. "I'm just...in _awe_."

Michael shifted where he stood, and Kaidan had no doubt that Tali would have read tense frustration in him even _before_ he opened his mouth: "Yes...you've _said_ that." Conrad opened his mouth. "And no, you won't come with me." The mouth slammed shut, though the fan still looked happy to the point of crazy. "Conrad, I'm on a vital mission, I'd really like to get back to my work..." The tone was polite, yet held a clear tone of weariness...

_I can only __imagine__ how long he endured this fan the __first__ time if he gets weary __this__ quickly_...

"Of course, a busy job that, saving the galaxy." The man's grin was wide. "Tell me, you never had time to finish last time, during the Blitz, did you _actually-_"

"_Conrad_..." Michael _growled_ the word, making Kaidan jump in surprise. There was something..._dangerous_...in Michael as he took a couple of short and slow steps closer to the fan, stopping mere inches from the other man. "What. Do. You. Want?"

"Oh..." _This_ time the man reacted, even _his_ dulled senses realising he was pushing his luck as he gave Michael a sheepish look: "Ah yes...well my wife..."

"_That_ man has a _wife_? _Jeez_...the poor woman." Ashley muttered to Kaidan, drawing a chuckle out of him.

"...couldn't _believe_ the autograph you signed for me." He shook his head, fervently, as Michael's mouth opened to speak. "No, she wouldn't _believe_ it! I _have_ to show that I've _actually_ met you! The great hero of humanity, the hero of-"

"I get it." Michael raised a hand, stopping the flood of words. "And you're going to prove this by...?"

"A camera!" The man exclaimed, as giddy as a child as he pulled the small black box out of his pocket, holding it up like a treasured prize. "Now if your lovely companion here could take a picture of us two together..." He held it out towards Liara, who after a moment of hesitation took it, her eyes never leaving Conrad. _Perhaps she finds him frightening_? _With her line of work she can't be used to people_..._particular not __this__ kind_. "...and I can get some _pictorial_ evidence!"

A small grunt escaped Michael before he let Conrad step up next to him. "Very well." Conrad gripped Michael's arm, putting it over his own shoulder as he pressed close, making Michael look to Liara, a hint of desperation in his eyes: "Make it fast."

"Say cheese." The Asari held up the camera, hand hovering on the button.

_One_ grin, _one_ voice: "Cheese!"

And the camera flashed.

A moment later Conrad was stepping forth, practically wrenching the camera from Liara's hands, making her step away as they all watched the man with a big grin look down at the camera as he checked the picture. He practically _squealed_ at the sight: "Oh man oh man oh man! This one looks _great_! She won't believe her eyes! She _won't_! Maybe just one more so-"

"Conrad, we're done here." Michael sighed, hand raised to stop the fan in his tracks.

"Oh sure, sure, got lots to do eh? People to save, Geth to kill, I understand." Conrad's head bobbed in enthusiasm, the goofy grin never fading. "Say, that scar over your eye, how did-"

"_Conrad_..." Michael cocked his head, the neck loudly cracking as he turned it in irritation.

"Oh right, right..." The man's head continued to bob even as he turned to walk away, his head turning to look back at Michael even as he retreated, looking like an affectionate dog that had been yelled at yet still considered coming bounding back...

Five minutes later...and he was gone.

A sigh...and Michael's shoulders slumped in relief, his voice a mutter: "God, he's annoying..." Then he looked up, blinking at the others, as if not having realised they were there...a look of worry crossing his face before he smiled, shrugging. "Okay, let's go...got armour to buy."

"Actually..." Ashley spoke up, stopping the group in their tracks. "...how _did_ you get that scar? If I'm allowed to ask...was it during the Skyllian Blitz?" Kaidan glanced at Ashley, irritated with the spark of delight in her eyes at the question.

Only to notice that Michael had become very still.

Looking over at their Commander Kaidan was just in time to see Michael glance back at Ashley, a weak and pained little smile on his lips: "No...knife-fight in a bar...always carry a knife with you..." He nodded down to his boot were the hilt of his weapon as always stuck out, ready to be drawn.

Silence, the man hesitating, the others..._still_.

Then he looked away, voice a distant whisper: "I didn't get a scratch during the Blitz..."

_I_..._have_ _trouble_ _believing_ _that_. Kaidan exchanged a look with Ashley, seeing a hint of guilt in her eyes as she with a pained grimace glanced at Michael.

A Michael shrugging, voice steady again, confident, even happy: "Now let's go! Liara, any preference in armour?"

"Well I...no...Shepard."

Michael chuckled: "Oh! That means we get to play dress-up!"

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her invaluable time._


	24. Chapter 24

Fear.

It was a familiar feeling by now, one she was intimately familiar with, there was almost a _comfort_ in the familiar tightness in her gut...a knowledge of what was to come.

_I'd prefer __not__ to feel it though_. Tali lifted herself up with her two sets of three clawed toes in a little jump, well aware that her habit of doing that was just another reason for Ashley to continue calling her 'cute'. Not that the marine noticed at the time, the woman busy on her knees before the sealed door that had stopped the group.

Out in open space the group were all completely covered by their armour to protect them from the vacuum...and to Tali's eyes looked a bit like a group of oversized Quarians...with the lack of decorations on their armour it also looked like they had _no_ sense of fashion either...

She nearly giggled at the idea.

_Keelah, I'm just trying to distract myself, which is no good, focus_. She looked around, noting the others tensely waiting for Ashley to blow the door open. Normally Michael would have ordered Tali or Garrus to hack the door open...but given that the Geth on Rayingri were already aware of the group and without a doubt preparing their defences within their outpost, blowing the door open made sense...even if it signified that they'd storm into a hail of bullets...

Again the fear struck her, twisting her guts around, making them feel disgustingly watery.

With them having left Citadel space they – while having gained another on the ground-team that could help them in research, Tali shot the hesitant looking Liara a glance – still didn't know exactly where to look for Saren or his allies. As such the call from the Alliance about Geth activity just outside Alliance space had been a blessing Michael had grasped at with both hands. While the Alliance _technically_ couldn't go out to wage war outside of their space a Spectre that _happened_ to be an Alliance officer with a clear mission to battle the Geth as the servants of an enemy of the Citadel...could.

In exchange Michael no doubt hoped for any information about Saren or his allies. Tali shot him a shy glance, finding the man pressing his back against the wall on Ashley's left, gun lowered but ready to be raised as he rushed into the room. Tali had seen it so many times she could see it just by closing her eyes now... Just like any other time she knew there would be no hesitation, no fear, it didn't matter how prepared the enemy was, how dangerous it was, Michael _would_ take _point_...and lead them through it, all the time shouldering more then his part of that of a Commander. _He'd make a great Quarian_...

Shaking aside the vexing thought she tried to master her fear, to bring out the hatred felt for the Geth. At _any_ other time it would have been easy, but just before a fight...it just didn't work.

Despite the hatred being in her _blood_.

The Geth had driven her people from their home, forced them to leave in a ramshackle fleet that only got more and more ancient as time passed on. The Quarians had lost their membership in the Citadel _because_ of the Geth, and _worse_, _all_ respect from the _entire_ galactic community because of them. They were _despised_ for what they had created, for the creation that had inflicted harm on _none_ but themselves until now...and now seen as nothing but troublesome vagrants _deserving_ their fate.

Tali's mother had died of a plague that would _never_ have happened if they hadn't lived packed together in a rusty old ship...ships the Geth had _driven_ them into... Her father would have been _there_, instead of being busy in the admiralty board, if it wasn't for the Geth... She could have gotten _siblings_ if it wasn't for the difficulty for them to even _breed_...all because of the _Geth_.

Her family and her people were forever _marked_ by the Geth uprising...a mark of shame and grief.

Even her _suit_ was a constant reminder of that mark. The Geth had not only driven the Quarians from their home, not only forced them to forever live in a fleet of ageing ships... They had by their actions forced each and every Quarian into a personal prison that forever kept them separated from not only the other races, but even _each_ _other_...

The Geth had, before she'd even been _born_...doomed her to a life _separate_ from others by insurmountable _barriers_...doomed her to forever feel..._alone_.

She had _all_ the reasons in the _galaxy_ to hate them, her body was _fused_ with that hatred since _birth_.

Yet now, before the door was blown, before the hail of shots from the waiting Geth..._fear_ ruled.

The Geth were _intelligent_, _uncaring_, _unfeeling_, it wasn't even cruelty that drove them...only cold logic and self-preservation, a _mockery_ of organic life. They didn't know fear, they didn't know pain, they didn't care about losses, they didn't surrender, they never even died...only sent their programming somewhere else.

Somewhere where _millions_ of them waited...each program ready to download into a body, a ship, a machine...ready to pounce upon them, to tear them apart, to destroy the Migrant fleet and all Tali held dear...

The Geth had _slaughtered_ the Quarians, _billions_ of them...and here _she_ was, a _single_ Quarian...pistol drawn and breath short, ready to defy them once more.

She felt...small.

"Done." Ashley got up, stepped to the right, pressing herself against the wall there and revealing the green tubes strapped to the door. "Ready when you are, Commander."

Michael glanced back, cold eyes under a glittering visor ensuring everyone stood on each side of the door, in cover from any Geth fire. "On three..."

_Remember your survival training, your engineer training, even your father_... Tali took a deep breath. _All say a problem is best solved one step at a time_.

"One."

_So there's millions of Geth out there, you'll kill them, one by one_..._starting_ _with_ _these_ _ones_. The knot of fear dissolved, leaving an empty void in her stomach even as she checked her pistol one last time.

"Two."

She glanced over at Liara, the Asari looking terrified as she with shaky hands looked down at her pistol as if it had suddenly become something foreign._ And you'll let no one else suffer for your race's mistake_... A small growl escaped her, the void in her stomach suddenly filled with a simmering anger, an anger swiftly rising...

"Three!"

The door flew inwards with the force of the blast, the heavy sheet of steel spinning through the air and knocking a large shelf a dozen feet into the large room ahead over. Tali barely saw it though as the explosion sent pieces of gravel and a blast of heat against her, making her raise her free hand to shield her visor.

Liara was shrieking.

Ahead Michael was pushing into the room, assault rifle spitting death even as a hail of shots bounced off his kinetic barrier, then armour as the shield gave up with a fizzle. Ashley was right behind him, her own rifle firing in a wide arch even as a sniper rifle took her in the chest, drawing an angry grunt out of her.

Rushing forth Tali grabbed Liara's arm, bodily pulling the Asari with her as they rushed in under the shadow of Wrex, the Krogan growling as he with a blast of his shotgun went straight forward, leaping over a crate before slamming his back against a shelf the flying door had missed. Tali swung her arm around, sending Liara tumbling into the cover of a tipped over table where Garrus had already taken up position, a feral smile on his face.

A thump...and Tali found her shield flaring, half of it disappearing as a Geth sniper's shot was stopped inches from her visor.

_Abomination_.

Another growl and Tali sprang forth, ducking low behind the crate Wrex had leapt over. It was frustratingly small...but crouching up Tali knew she would be hiding the majority of herself from the enemy..._and_ it made it easy for her to glance around to see the layout of the room.

The room was _filled_ with boxes, many a dark red in colour, others a dull grey, spread out over the rectangular room – the group having entered in the middle of a long side – it turned the room into a maze of low boxes. Or boxes that _would_ have been higher then hip-height if the Geth hadn't tipped them over.

_Why_ they had done so was painfully obvious. There were _many_ Geth in the room, the main floor seemed to have a Geth trooper behind _every_ box...each jumping up at regular intervals to fire at the group already pinned down just inside the entrance. Not only that but there was a second floor on the other end of the room, a long balcony with a low wall basically...behind which Tali could spot several Geth snipers and rocket troopers...all having a good field of fire down on the team from their high vantage point.

Then she stumbled, her shield failing with the sound of another Geth sniper hitting her, her small cover and its good position letting it strike an exposed foot.

_You filthy_... Tali hissed, shooting to her feet, omni-tool glowing as she pointed it towards the sniper. _No_... she turned the aim to the right...to the Geth next to the sniper. ..._this_ _is_ _better_...

The Geth rocket trooper's eye turned blue...and a moment later its swinging rocket launcher sent the Geth sniper falling over the wall and down onto the main floor with an electronic howl of protest...a protest cut short as it landed head first on the floor.

One of the Geth troopers on the floor took the opportunity to fire at Tali, making her wince as the shot thumped into her abdomen, only the armour of her suit stopping it from shredding the flesh beneath. Her wince turned into a chuckle though as she saw the offending Geth explode into pieces of white-hot steel as the rocket of her hacked Geth struck its back.

Another shot struck her, this time in the shoulder...and she dropped back into cover, free hand rubbing the bruise through her suit even as the other moved her pistol to fire a few covering shots towards the Geth before her.

Explosions rang out all around her, pulse rifles firing, snipers and assault rifles, pistols...Tali shook her head, realizing the last hit had dazed her more then it had any right to do.

_I need shields_...Sweeping her hand over her omni-tool, practised fingers easily bringing up the correct program...Tali once again rose, pointing finger finding a Geth trooper trying to flank Wrex as the Krogan with the butt of his shotgun slammed the head off another Geth.

There was an arch of energy between her finger and the trooper...and the Geth jerked as the VI's artificial voice in Tali's suit called out: "Shields recharging...at a hundred percent."

The jerking Geth turned its baleful eye on her...only for an orb of dark purple energy to appear above it, lifting it off its feet to its stuttering protest as Liara finally flexed her biotic powers.

_Glare at me will you_... Tali levelled her pistol...and white liquid began to gush from the Geth's abdomen as she struck a vital cord within it.

_Abominations, each and single one of you_. More of the Geth on the main floor were being lifted off their feet by the powerful singularity...and Tali resolutely ignored the rocket arching over her head from a hurried Geth rocket trooper as she grasped her pistol with both hands and fired away.

One, two, three, four...Geth twitched...their filthy excuse for blood dripping onto the floor from ruined torsos even as their corpses continued to hover in the air.

A fifth Geth, even while in the air, aimed for her...only for a dark blue orb to hurtle into it, sending it flying into the ceiling, the force of Kaidan's push shattering it.

There was a thump, Tali's shields halving as a sniper took her...only for its head to explode as Garrus' own sniper rifle opened up in retort. Another quickly followed, aiming down at her even as she glared back...only for its neck to explode as Michael's sniper rifle caught it.

_I do __not__ fear you_! She looked up at the Geth lining the upper floor and slightly to her right, several already aiming down at the still exposed Quarian._ I __hate__ you_! Her omni-tool glowed, its orange reflection dim against her visor...and the one remaining rocket trooper at the top jerked, its eyes changing colour even as it turned its weapon about, pressing the point into the gut of the sniper just inches away from it.

The Geth sniper turned its head, the beginning of an electronic stutter escaping it...

And then the explosion ended it, with the Geth so tightly packed the explosion _tore_ through them, hacked and un-hacked Geth alike being swallowed by the explosion of the fired rocket. Pieces of limbs, weapons, the wall they had hidden behind, flying..._raining_ over the Geth still on the main floor.

"Alright!" Ashley's shriek was nearly lost in the crashing sound of the second floor crashing down as its structural integrity gave up, the marine a blur as she rushed into the dust thrown up by the collapsing balcony, her swinging rifle crashing through the eye of a Geth still trying to righten from being struck by falling masonry...before barking death into the chest of another.

Wrex too roared something, the Krogan leaving cover, shotgun jerking in his hands, sending a stumbling Geth flying backwards, its torso opened. Another moved to fire on the already charging Krogan...only to fall as Liara's pistol took its hand off.

Michael too left cover, the man a black ghost as his blurry shape disappeared into the dust on Tali's left, only the flash of a firing muzzle and the dying stutters of felled Geth a sign of where he was.

It was all but over.

Tali stepped forth, only now realising she was breathing heavily, feeling her rage slowly go back to a low simmer...a hard core within her, ready to spring forth again. Before her a Geth came, legs gone, arms pulling it towards her, crawling away from the still roaring Krogan, leaving a trail of white blood behind, dimly glowing eye not noticing her even as it crawled towards her foot.

Her foot came up...then down...and there was a groan within the Geth as she pinned it against the floor and levelled her gun. Her voice a low snarl: "Die, _monster_."

A bang...and the Geth went still, pieces of its eye-lens strewn over its floor, mixing with the white blood dripping from the nearly drained machine.

Tali's shoulders dropped, tension fading away...and felt nothing but drained. _Keelah_..._if_ _I_ _didn't_ _have work to do on the Normandy I'd go sleep for a year_..._or_ _crawl_ _up_ _into_ _a_ _corner_... She was an _engineer_, not a soldier, not a warrior...and every time after a battle she _felt_ it...felt herself ready to begin shaking with the shock, with the realisation that she'd nearly died...

_No, get a hold of yourself, you're Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, daughter of __admiral __Rael__, excellence is __expected__, excellence __will__ be __delivered__. As such you have work to do, get to it_. Mentally chiding herself she crouched down by the Geth, pushing it over onto its back. Her father wanted Geth parts, preferably things they'd developed themselves, and Tali knew the machines better then _any_ Quarian alive...she could not fail him in supplying him with such parts for his experiments, _must_ not.

There was a jab of annoyance when she felt a hand land on her shoulder though, distracting her from her work. "Nice going there kiddo, got a lot of spunk for such a little cutie." Ashley chuckled, making Tali look up at the woman, now with her helmet off to show off her big grin. _Wish I could show my smile like that_...

She felt tired, shaky, and now annoyed with the woman keeping her from her work and showing her freedom and beauty without even being aware of it...as such Tali found her tone sharp: "I'm pretty sure I killed _twice_ as many Geth as you did here, _don't_ call me a kid."

Ashley's eyebrows shot up high, her stance shifting, surprised...a hint of feeling hurt...quickly masked by amusement: "Oh and now she's developing a _tone_! I'm having a bad influence on you..." She shot Tali a wink, squeezing her shoulder.

Tali rose, taking a shaky breath, feeling her irritation being replaced by exasperation and fatigue: "Sorry I...I'm a little on edge and-"

"Tali'Zorah." She whirled about at the name, Ashley's hand losing its grip on her shoulder as she found Michael coming at her through the cloud of dust. There was a large dent in his chest-plate...but he looked unhurt – she breathed a sigh of relief – as he pulled his helmet off and put it under his arm, revealing sweaty blond hair smeared to his skull in tousles. His cold eyes regarded her, quickly checking her for injuries even as he offered her a nod deeper then the one he usually did to any in the group at the end of missions. "Well done, _commendable_ work." Even with the usual coldness in his voice there was...real appreciation there, on missions the man was nothing but a calculator...and it was based on nothing but _that_ with which he commended _her_...

Yet for all the coldness it _was_ appreciation..._real_ appreciation...based on _nothing_ but her _own_ deeds...

Tali found herself clearing her throat as she looked away, struggling with a blush as her right hand came up – a gesture she had picked up from Ashley and couldn't quite kick – to smoothen her hood out. "Erm...yes Shepard...thank you...Shepard..."

Michael's stance shifted slightly, the coldness in his eyes fading a bit as a shadow of a smile stole its way to his lips while he looked around at the others. "Good work all of you..." A shake of his head, the stance shifting as he visibly begun to relax, smile widening as he once more looked to her: "...but _damn_ Tali..._excellent_ work."

She suddenly found herself staring at her feet, resting on her toes in little jumps and with her arms feeling awkward behind her back, her voice _tiny_: "Th-thank you..."

"See?" Ashley's voice was amused, _too_ amused. "Told you you're cute."

The others laughed, relaxed, _friendly_...

And Tali felt as if her blush would kill her.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her praise._


	25. Chapter 25

"A _Turian_ and a _Quarian_..._reaaally_?" Ashley snorted.

"I don't know, I thought it was nice." Kaidan replied, diplomatic as ever, making Ashley roll her eyes at him even as they walked up the slight slope of the path away from the comm room and towards the combat information centre and the galaxy map Ashley had grown to like.

They had just finished watching their latest movie – watching one had become something of a tradition of theirs, a way to ease down after a mission – on the comm room's holographic projector. Usually used for the team to plan different missions or reporting to the council, it doubled quite nicely as a holographic wide-screen. It wasn't a _proper_ holographic surround-system...but sometimes one just had to slum it.

Unfortunately it had been Kaidan's turn to choose a movie.

Ashley preferred a good action flick – there was nothing better then a few virtual explosions to ease you away from still hearing the _real_ ones – or failing that the classic 'Titanic' which made her well up every time – and which Kaidan _hated_. _Sucker for happy endings as he is_...

But Kaidan preferred calmer things, often detective stories, which Ashley had to admit, were kind of nice... But also those brainless romantic comedies...and in _this_ case...a pure romance story... Ashley shot Kaidan a puzzled look, but the man was innocence itself as he looked back at her, despite her being _sure_ she had seen him fiddle with _something_ behind his back...

He had chosen not to show it to Ashley though..she felt oddly disappointed...and relieved at the same time, about that... Shaking her head she dismissed the annoying contradiction within her chest and managed another snort: "_You_ would. But _really_, a Turian and a Quarian...eww. I mean it's weird _enough_ to cross-breed. But _those_ _two_ races...it's just weird."'

"You'd think it would make more sense to switch the Turian for a human?" Kaidan asked, tone oddly low.

Ashley paid it no mind though: "_No_, it's _ridiculous_!" She shook her head again, realizing they had reached the door but that none had pressed the button to open it, she did it with another shake of her head: "I mean have you _listened_ to Tali? That stuff is difficult _enough_ for them _without_ the partner being another _race_! If the Turian was doing one of those promiscuous _Asari_ instead...then yes, _sure_."_ Note to self, keep an eye on little Miss Scientist_.

Kaidan coughed, stumbling as they stepped out of the room, making Ashley pat his back with a grin. His voice was steady though as they rounded the corner, arms waving to enhance his point: "'Fleet and Flotilla' wasn't _about_ 'doing' one another, it was a deep story about importance of character and overcoming obstacles of cultural differences, a story of grief and forgiveness..."

"Bo the fucking hoo." Ashley snorted for a _third_ time. "And I _still_ can't believe the choice of aliens...that's like mating a...an attack dog and a kitten."

"Don't tell Garrus or Tali you said that." Kaidan chuckled as they came round the corner, the two coming to where the path broke between the door leading downstairs that Ashley would have to take and the one leading to the cockpit Kaidan would head for for some simulations with Joker. Both stopped, neither willing to part just yet.

Leaning her back against the wall next to the door she knew she'd have to take Ashley crossed her arms over her chest, regarding Kaidan with a raised eyebrow and a smirk: "Well _I_ wouldn't...but who knows with _you_? Going to rat me out?"

To her immense pleasure Kaidan's face coloured just a bit as he leant against the wall in front of the door to the comm room – a wall Ashley never understood the purpose of – he too crossing his musculuar arms in front of him as he looked back, trying to look serious: "Oh I _don't_ _know_...protocol really does not say, but since I'm such a _great_ guy I just might..."

_Ohh_..._intriguing_. Ashley chuckled. "_Riiight_, you dislike Garrus too much to do that for him..." She smirked at the way the man grimaced at the Turian's name, always finding the way the _nice_ and _understanding_ Kaidan disliked the Turian entertaining. "...and Tali's too cute to hurt that way...but _sure_, if you think you can demand something of me...go ahead...try it..." She shot him a wink. "...I _dare_ you."

Something caught in Kaidan's throat, the man looking as if he'd choked on something, then he shook his head, regaining control over himself as he managed a polite smile: "I wouldn't _dare_."

"Afraid?" Ashley taunted, another irritating mix of disappointment and relief coursing through her even as she said it.

"Cautious." Kaidan quickly replied, glancing away for a moment, then smiling back at her. "One can never tell with you...you're...volatile."

"So now I'm a bomb?" Ashley's eyebrows shot up even as she tilted her head back, a shadow of a smirk on her lips: "Thinking me dangerous, hmmm...?"

"I...what..." Kaidan groaned, hand coming up to his face, rubbing his temples, Ashley's jab of fear that she had triggered one of his – even to _her_ they were _scary_ – migraines quickly subdued as she saw the smile on his lips: "There's no winning with you..."

"True, better just get on your knees and surrender." Ashley retorted, grinning at the mental image of that muscled biotic kneeling in submission. It wasn't _too_ unpleasant...

Michael.

Ashley's gaze moved past Kaidan, his reply a mumble as she saw the Commander through the hologram of the galactic map, coming from the cockpit with his head bowed. An orange datapad was in his left hand, a datapad that he gestured at as he talked to Navigator Pressly, the balding navy officer bobbing his head in agreement even as he frowned in worry.

The pair turned right, then came to a stop near the galactic map, annoyingly keeping the hologram of the galaxy between her and them as the two men faced one another, hands gesturing as they talked.

With a sigh of shame Ashley glanced at Kaidan, finding the man turning his head to look at what had distracted her. _Dammit_..._every_ _time_..._it's_ _not_ _fair_ _to_ _Kaidan_..._or_ _me_ _actually_... She shot Michael a glance, ever since their fight he had been nice and friendly...but hadn't sought her out as often as before...almost outright _avoiding_ her at times it felt like. Instead he hung around safe and innocent little _Tali , _his wingman _Garrus_ or even Mr strong and silent _Wrex_...while offering her _scraps_ in comparison. Ashley grimaced in irritation. _Coward_.

Kaidan, of course, made no judgement about her being distracted and unfocused. _Damn that kind man_... Instead he looked back to her after a long look at the two talking men, one a giant gesturing at a datapad while talking – eyes holding that hint of coldness telling them he was deep in his work – and the other an ageing officer nodding more and more with only a few comments, the worried frown on his forehead slowly easing away. Kaidan nodded, looking pensive. "Yep, _always_ another mission, the Alliance wants these Geth bases gone and apparently Michael is temporary General of the entire operation." A sigh escaped him as his shoulders slopped: "It's a bit rude to dump all of this work on _one_ man, especially when he's already on a mission for the Council."

"The Geth _are_ part of his mission." Ashley grunted back, feeling a little defensive, the memory of Eden Prime still painfully fresh in her mind, not to mention that implying Michael was wasting his time was just..._wrong_. "He's hoping for Intel obviously, and it's not that much work, he only has...what...thirty marines to juggle around?" It wasn't much of a shock that the Alliance had sent a few squads into this black-ops...but a little more that they had put them under Michael's command.

"_With_ drone scouts, _five_ transporting frigates, _two_ clusters of star systems to search through, _artillery_, _supplies_, a ship _not_ equipped for such a command and secrecy of all those things a top priority." Kaidan shook his head emphatically. "I mean he isn't allowed to write anything down, that datapad will be deleted soon...all stays in his head...and if he forgets something _someone_ will _die_...I wouldn't want that job."

"He can handle it." Ashley shrugged, then grinned. "Haven't you heard the commercial for the dramatization of the Skyllian Blitz? He's _Commander Fucking Shepard_..." The grin widened at the line a cold mission-focused Michael would _never_ utter even as she felt the old giddiness of the wait for the movie to hit the theatres worm itself into her gut. "...besides, he's like Tali, he _thrives_ on working like this."

She looked back at Michael, finding the officer deleting whatever had been on the datapad as Pressly briskly walked away, the old officer looking emboldened with whatever Michael had told him even as the Commander himself wheeled to face one of the computers around the galaxy map. Leaning forward the man began to tap away, eyes cold and narrowed, _hunting_...she could practically _see_ him calculating, making plans over two clusters of stars with the same precision and calmness as if he'd been fighting out in the field...

It honest to God made her legs a bit weak to see it... _Many men have tried it, but he's the first one I wouldn't mind if he tried taming me_..._God_..._I'd_ _want_ _him_ _to_ _succeed_...

"I know..." Kaidan's words rocketed her out of the fraternizing thought, making her cheeks turn crimson, though the man didn't notice, pensive eyes focused on the Commander, causing a barb of shame pierce her haze. "...but at a certain point...I'm just worried." _Kaidan isn't the taming type, he's just_..._a_ _good_ _man_..._God_ _I'm_ _an_ _awful_ _person_... The man shrugged, finally looking back to her: "I haven't seen him sleep for _ages_, heck...he doesn't _eat_ that often any more either, if you don't call gulping down porridge as you read reports 'eating'."

"It _is_ food." Ashley shrugged, trying to ignore her own worry at the words. It was easier for her, it was _Michael_ after all...worrying about him was like worrying about _gravity_ failing...you just _didn't_. "And aren't you being all protective and worried?" She shot him a smirk. "You big softie."

Kaidan shot her a raised eyebrow, then shifted where he stood as he smirked back: "I can get hard when I want to..._Chief_."

Ashley actually _blinked_, surprised that Kaidan for _once_ dared to speak back, surprised and _pleased_. Her smirk turned into a grin as she shot back: "Oh? Is that a fact?"

Kaidan stepped away from the wall, arms coming down to his sides as he shot her an obviously false stern look. "I can, don't test me."

"Hmmm..." Ashley pretended to consider the 'dire' warning, looking up at the ceiling, index finger coming to tap her lower lip...then looked back to the Lieutenant as she decided. _Always be bold_. She fixed her gaze on him, then demonstratively let it slide down over his torso, then further down as she muttered: "I _bet_ you can..."

Kaidan somehow managed to stumble, despite standing still, a low throaty sound escaping him. Looking up Ashley was not the least surprised to find his face reddening, her face splitting into a smile of victory, only for Kaidan to retort: "Hey now, by that logic you wouldn't be hard, and we both know you're a hard-ass."

Ashley scoffed. _Not the best retort_..._but what can one expect from Mr purity_? _Though I'm amazed he dared this_..._must have a bad influence on him_. "So you're saying I'm hiding my junk down front?" She glanced down at the front of her trousers, then turned slightly so as to glance over her shoulder and down on her hip. "Or that my ass is hard?" She turned her gaze back to Kaidan, grinning at his nervous fidgeting: "Because either thing can be _tested_..."

"Erm..." Kaidan muttered, looking at his feet, biting his lower lip, nervous. ..."I didn't mean...I didn't intend to insult you..."

Ashley stepped away from her wall, smirking even as she let her gaze move to Michael, watching him as the Commander turned to one of the women at the controls to the computer, the man towering over her as he pointed at the screen, _demanding_ results...and _getting_ them. _God_..._I_ _want_... "Oh? A once in a _lifetime_ offer to test my cushioning and you don't dare feel it? Or are you afraid my junk will bite you then?" She chuckled, taking a step closer.

"Well..._no_, but...erm...we're friends."

His voice was small, and was easily ignored as Ashley took another step forward, watching Michael as the powerful figure held out a hand, pointing at something on the galaxy map with narrowed eyes, as if his dangerous eyes could _see_ the system already...and felt her breath shudder. "There's friends and then there's _friends_...and a superior officer showing me my _place_ would be...most _interesting_..."

"Well I don't...you can't be...Ashley that's just crazy..."

"I _feel_ a little crazy..." Ashley muttered low, heart in her throat as she watched Michael summon up three men with a bark, gestures hard and sharp as he sent them running to perform his orders, the _alpha_...Kaidan's breath just brushing against her made her shudder. "...a _hard_ officer..._slamming_ that crazy out of me...I could..._need_ that..." Her tone was nearly _desperate_ at the last words, _yearning_ as she continued to eye her hero, so close, yet so far away...

Kaidan loudly swallowed. "I..." A small shift of his feet...

...and Ashley remembered where she was. A blink and she took half a step back, hiding her blush behind a feigned grin of confidence as she forced herself to look back to Kaidan, finding the officer _still_ looking at his feet, too nervous to look back at her, which had been her only saving grace. _If he had seen where __my__ eyes went_... Shame, relief irritation with herself, irritation with _Kaidan_, it all mixed within her. "_Relax_ jedi, just messing with you." The man looked up, a hint of relief in his eyes, annoying her._Relieved__ are you_? "Wouldn't want to _dirty_ the rule-book you no doubt _sleep_ with." She snorted, took another step back, arms once more crossing over her chest.

"I don't sleep with it..." Kaidan muttered, looking away, a strange look in his eyes... _Huh_? Ashley watched, perplexed, curious. Then it was gone, the man looking back at her with an unsure smile. "And I'm _not_ a jedi."

"Whatever." Ashley shrugged, but smiled at him none the less as she turned towards the door. "See you buddy..." She couldn't help but smirk as she moved for the door, adding an unnecessary sway to her hips. "..._this_ ass is out of here..."

There was a muttered curse behind her just before the door closed...and Ashley's smirk turned into a grin.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her great help._


	26. Chapter 26

"Sealing outer airlock."

Joker's voice was a mutter in the crowded cockpit. The others paying him no heed as they stared on the six screens that had dropped down from the ceiling above the cockpit's controls. The entire rest of the ground team was there, armed and armoured, ready to rush in if need be.

_Keelah I hope we don't have to_.

With them having docked to the MSV Fedele the floor-plans of the ship had shown that a team any larger than three would just get bogged down and in the way of one another, as such Michael had cut the numbers to keep things efficient, keeping the others at the ready, though judging by the somewhat..._vague_...briefing Tali doubted there was any need._ But better safe then sorry_... Her hand moved to brush the pistol at her hip.

That the briefing had been vague had made her a bit nervous to be honest, it wasn't like Michael to withhold information on a briefing, _everything_ was gone through with them, every uncertainty analysed until even _Wrex_ got weary. _The only irritating thing about him_... A sliver of a smile stole its way to Tali's face even as she nervously rested on the balls of her feet, intent on trying to stare on the six screens at the same time.

She wasn't the only one worried. Kaidan had his arms crossed as he sat in the co-pilot seat, looking like a coiled spring, ready to launch. Ashley on the other hand _couldn't_ sit still...the woman constantly pacing just behind Tali, a hand now and again coming up to ensure her assault rifle was still strapped onto her back, then pushing at her hair, a nervous twitch in her mouth. Even Joker looked queasy, the pilot again and again checking the instruments, seeing if the seemingly dead freighter Fedele was going to power up.

It was not surprising they were all tense. Not only had the briefing been so vague it could be summed up with: 'I'll lead team into a freighter which contains nothing of importance to do something that's of no importance' – to a Garrus having spent the last _week_ walking up and down every hall of the Normandy, driving everyone into a nervous state with his tense _silence_.

And then there was the fact that they were boarding a ghost ship.

No signal was coming from the freighter that from the outside looked in perfect working order, no shields, not even the burst of thrusters, meaning that it was slowly moving in a closing orbit around the nearest star... It seemed abandoned...yet Michael – with a pacing Garrus in tow – had _insisted_ upon boarding.

_Combined it probably means the mission concerns Garrus_. Tali frowned. It wasn't like Michael to deviate from his mission that far. Then again Garrus was the de-facto second in command when it came to ground-operations, something Kaidan pridefully never brought up, and Michael probably wanted such a person clear in the head with..._whatever_ was bothering the Turian. Not to mention that they were still collating data after the destroyed Geth bases, trying to pin-point their headquarters, so _technically_ they had the time...

_Still_...Tali hadn't expected Michael to be ready to pursue a _military operation_ distracting them from their mission for a friend...it wasn't his way. _Maybe I don't know him as well as I thought_? _Maybe there's more to him then what I've seen so far_? Her heart swelled a little at the thought even as it thudded against her ribs in worry.

The only one not looking nervous was _Liara_, the Asari looking like she was watching a fascinating painting as she next to Tali looked up at the screens, standing tall and with her arms close to her chest and lap, looking like an innocent little doll. _Didn't you __meld__ with him_?_ You should be worried you damn_... Tali found a sigh escaping her as she realised she was just feeling jealous and..._tense_. Her hand once more brushed her pistol, knowing the gesture was useless. She could only _watch_...

Her head moved back to the monitor as there was a crackle of static, followed by Michael's voice: "Entering freighter airlock, Garrus on point."

Above the cockpit the three topmost screens showed the three boarding soldier's viewpoints. Michael's in the middle, his black gauntlets holding a shotgun at the ready. Garrus' was on the right, the Turian clutching a pistol hard. And Wrex's red armour shone against the black shotgun he carried on the right screen, the Krogan muttering something as his screen panned to watch Garrus step into the freighter's decontamination chamber.

The lower three screens showed the vitals of the boarding party. Tali wasn't an expert, but with the white jagged line on each screen being the standard it was quite easy to compare to the moving green one of the men entering the ship. Wrex's two hearts were beating steady, so slightly heightened in pace it was barely visible. In contrast Garrus' beat was almost spasmodic, mostly an intense thumping that even for a _Turian_ was terrifyingly fast, but moments later it could turn low, the thumps instead getting _forebodingly_ powerful...

And Michael's...it didn't even raise above the standard value for a walking human. _I__ would be nervous beyond words_... Tali swallowed, watching Michael's screen as it observed Garrus moving his omni-tool towards the inner door of the breached freighter's decontamination chamber. The white light of the lamps mounted on the warrior's shoulders illuminating the dark interior, drawing jagged shadows across the wall and making her feel as if they were breaching the inner sanctum of some kind of tomb..._intruders_.

"Lock breached." Garrus growled, a hint of steel in his voice as he moved towards the door, armoured claws digging into the inner door of the chamber...and pulling it open. "No contacts." Tone still of steel, but now with a hint of anger.

"Calm down." Michael ordered, tone cold as he moved up behind Garrus, Wrex following close behind as the three panned their guns and lights around. They were in a chamber largely devoid of anything remarkable, a few crates of what looked like emptied food rations, a small trolley where a few empty glass bottles stood on...and a few plastic wrappers that moved when the men brushed past...

Tali felt a worm of worry dig into her even as the three moved towards the next door in the opposite end. Ashley's murmur echoed her worry: "God dammit be _careful_, that place _stinks_ of death, and I'm not even _on_ it."

"Only one more death needed." Garrus snapped back, the Turian's omni-tool glowing as it hovered over the next lock, the lock flashing green a moment later as it opened with a loud thump.

"Calm _down_." Michael repeated the other, a hint of danger in his voice.

"He's _here_ Shepard, I can _feel_ it..." Garrus growled the word, even as he glanced down on his omni-tool, voice frustrated: "No movement...damn where is he?"

_Who's 'he'_? Tali shifted where she stood, licking her lips even as Michael answered her question: "If he's here Dr Saleon cannot escape, so _calm down_."

In his seat Joker cocked his head to the side, hand moving up to scratch his head: "Erm...according to the manifest this ship is owned by a Doctor _Heart_..."

"Yeah..." There was a dry chuckle from Garrus, a chuckle filled with _bitterness_. "...that's rich, the morbid son of a bitch..." With a small kick the Turian got the unlocked door opened, revealing a tight corridor with an arched ceiling. The lamps above were flickering on and off, making the panels torn from the walls – many still stuck at the bottom so that they stuck out like triangular blades – make jagged shadows flash with the flickering of the lamps.

The three warriors moved into it, screens panning left and right as they looked into the holes left by the torn panels. Beneath there was the usual wiring a starship required...torn and ripped asunder, many coloured wires hanging out like dead branches as a few sparks of blue electricity shot up from the various connectors and plugs on the way. The engineer in Tali cringed at the sight. _It's_ _just_..._ripped_ _apart_. "You smell that?" Wrex growled the word, his sniff loud as his camera moved to watch a ripped bundle of cords. "Scorched flesh...someone pulled this apart manually."

"I think that's enough to cripple the vessel." Tali spoke up, grimacing as she tried to ignore Wrex's observation. "But why hasn't anyone fixed it?"

"Either they can't or they choose not to." Wrex replied, the warrior's armoured toe sticking out to prod a piece of torn metal still stuck to the wiring, revealing a crimson stain upon it, some still bubbling where it touched the wiring. "I'm going to go with the first option."

"Keep the chatter down." Michael ordered, his heart rate steady, in stark contrast to Turian's as Michael asked. "Garrus?"

"Got movement ahead..." The Turian hissed, Michael's screen showing the Turian scratching one of the fringes on his skull: "..._lots_ of it...?" The Turian's screen moved to regard the door up ahead, the thing dented from the inside and clearly unlocked. "No energy signatures though..." There was a sudden _worry_ in his tone. "I hope it's not...no...if it is I'll..." Then _heat_, _anger_: "...I'll _kill_ him..."

Michael moved up to the Turian, an armoured hand dropping onto Garrus shoulder, stopping the man from advancing any further, which – judging by the heated glare shot back – Garrus clearly wanted to: "The next room is storage, larger area, unknown amount of cover." Michael snapped, not surprising Tali the least by showing he knew the plans of the ship by heart. "No energy means no weapons or armour, but assume hostiles."

"Commander..." Garrus muttered the word...then looked away, nodding softly. "...yes Commander." A look up...and Tali saw the steely determination in the Turian's stance, his voice a low murmur: "This will be the last of them you sick son of a bitch..."

A squeeze of Michael's hand...and the Commander's voice called out: "Diamond formation, Urdnot on point. Fire only on my command."

"Finally." The Krogan grumbled, brushing his way past the others, shotgun levelled at the door ahead. "Ready...charging."

A growl...and the Krogan's screen shook as the monstrous alien levelled his stance and charged forth, the others in hot pursuit as Wrex rushed head first into the dented door. There was a jar on Wrex's camera...and the door ahead fell forward with a loud thump.

Instantly Wrex was standing atop the door, shotgun at the ready, Michael close to his right, Garrus to his left, a hard point with their weapons pointing out in three directions of the new room.

And coming to a stop.

The gasps came through speakers and resounded through the cockpit alike.

The room was large and nearly empty of furniture, a few broken metal skeletons that might have been beds lay strewn across the floor, the springs between their bones sticking out like barbed wire. The mattresses of the beds were nowhere to be seen, save a few charred pieces of them laying in crumpled piles, some still burning with a orange glow.

What it _did_ have was _people_. Tali counted at least three dozen, probably more, all seated or crouching next to the charred piles of the burnt mattresses, hands held out towards them, as if trying to sip warmth from the ashes themselves. All of them had stained white blankets wrapped around themselves, the reason obvious with the plumes of white breath escaping their bluing lips.

The clinical white lights in the ceiling illuminated everything perfectly, crisply showing _everything_. The freezing people, obviously naked underneath the blankets wrapped around themselves. The piles of excrement piled up in the corners. The bloodied marks on the walls, marks staining the blankets around the people's hands too, as if they had tried to bash their way through solid steel. The horrible...malformation of the people.

There were Turians, humans, Salarians, even a few Krogan, men, women..._all_ with their frames _mutilated_ and _ruined_. Many had ribs poking out of taut skin, starvation clear on them, haggard eyes turning towards the three arrivals. And _all_ had growing bulges sticking out of their bodies...abdomens, heads, chests, legs...everywhere there were sickly growths upon the people, as if something was just beneath the skin, trying to push out...and many growths were covered dark red with the blood of internal bleeding.

"Dear God...what _is_ this?" Ashley breathed, Liara looking pale as she shook her head in answer.

Tali herself felt her stomach turn, but couldn't bring herself to say anything, gaze fixed on the screen. _Get_ _out_..._get_ _out_ _of_ _there_... There was too much _hunger_ in the mutilated people's stances, too much anger, hatred, _pain_... _Keelah_..._get_ _out_...

"The doctor has been busy I see..." Garrus replied, his voice a low growl. "...more of his subjects, near death I'd guess, I'm going to put him out of his misery for this..."

"You will obey _my_ command." Michael snapped back, though he didn't glance at Garrus as he kept his weapon trained on the abnormalities before him. "Inform doctor Chakwas, we need a medical team coming in here this-"

A hiss stopped him mid-sentence, his screen moving to watch a man with a bruised lump as large as his own head pushing out of his chest, stumble at them with his teeth barred.

"Halt." Michael's shotgun aimed up, a boom resounding through the room as he fired off a round into the ceiling, stopping the advance of the mutilated man and making the others flinch, all eyes staring at the three in the boarding party. "Nobody moves, you _will_ be helped, but come near us and you _will_ be shot."

The mutilated man looked back at the others, the abominations rising to their feet, hesitation...then _hope_ in their stances..._aggressive_ stances.

Then the man looked back to Michael, his bruised eyes widening even as he with a wide grin lunged at the Commander.

Right into the shotgun's barrel.

A boom...and the man's chest was torn asunder, his broken body flying back and landing with a wet thump before it slid over the floor, a gutted cadaver finally coming to a stop at the feet of a group of Turian abominations.

"Y-you will _stop_, or suffer the same fate." Michael growled at the group, smoking shotgun motioning at them even as Tali blinked in surprise._ Did Shepard just_..._stutter_?

The mutilated people looked down at the dead man...then up to the group...and then cried out as they as one _launched_ themselves at the group.

"Son of a...!" Ashley's exclamation exploded even as Tali flinched, watching in horror as Shepard's shotgun jerked, sending two Turian's to the floor, their legs torn off in explosions of blue blood. "Dear God...what are they _doing_!"

Tali could only shake her head, swaying where she stood as she watched the three's guns again and _again_ flare with a discharge, turning the sickly abominations into wet gobs of torn flesh and ripped bones.

For one fearful moment it looked like the charging people would rush over the group, overpowering them by sheer numbers.

But they didn't press hard enough, their movement's sluggish and jerky, one of them even jumping in front of Michael's gun as it fired upon another, tearing both men apart with a wet crunch.

And then it was over, the three men silent as they stood surrounded by torn pieces of flesh, blood and guts, a nauseating sight of a massacre the _massacred_ had forced.

Liara shook her head, voice low: "Why...?"

"I don't...think we want to know." Kaidan replied, the man looking pale, even a little green, at the sight.

_They_..._wanted_ _to_ _die_? Tali felt a shudder run down her spine at the thought.

Silence.

Then Garrus' voice, hard: "Still movement ahead." A growl, deep from the Turian's gut: "A single one...now I have you you bastard, you're going to _pay_..."

"Y..." Michael's screen swayed, his gun lowering. "...you go...do what must be done...Wrex...with him..."

_Wrex_? _Did mission-Michael just call him Wrex and not Urdnot_? Tali felt her brow knit even as she nervously shifted where she stood.

"Are you..."

"Yes." Michael snapped, interrupting Wrex's question. "Go, now!" The order was gasped...as if the man had trouble breathing...

A shrug of Wrex's large shoulders...an odd glance at Michael...and the Krogan moved forth, following an already marching Garrus in their pursuit of the doctor they were apparently after.

Barely had they left the room before Michael's screen once more swayed, this time dangerously so as there was a clatter of a dropped weapon.

"Michael!" Ashley's cry came out, the woman taking a step towards the screen as she stared at it, face pale.

"I don't...think he's hearing us..." Liara muttered, the Asari looking uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Tali, throat dry, couldn't help but agree, watching with growing horror as the screen once more wobbled, swung around, then back to stare at the corpses...

A fall...and Tali saw Michael's hands as they caught him from falling face first into a spreading pool of dark human blood, the liquid splashing as his hands smashed into it._ What is he_...?

The camera panned up...seeing one of the human dead staring back with unseeing eyes, the man's guts coiling out of a wide hole in his stomach, a strange smile on his lips, now frozen into a grin in death. And then the screen panned back down as a there was a grunt, followed sloshing sound...and a watery brown liquid poured out onto the floor, mixing with the crimson blood.

"Did he just..." Ashley sounded baffled...as was _Tali_. "...throw up?"

"That's _it_." Tali whirled about, energy she hadn't even been _aware_ of that had been building up exploding out of her. "Let's get him."

Ashley's voice was but a growl: "Agreed!"

8

8

8

The shaking wouldn't stop.

The blanket around his uniformed frame was warm and hugging him tight. _Just like those of the_... Michael shuddered, head jerking sideways as he squeezed his eyes shut. _No, control, regain control, __now_.

"You seem to have suffered a shock, emotionally triggered no doubt." Chakwas was before him, arms crossed as the Doctor glared up the Commander seated on one of her beds. "Am I to assume that you _yet again_ won't tell me what triggered it?"

It was long ago since last time he had slipped...it felt like another lifetime. Michael managed a stiff shake of his head, drawing a deep breath to steady his body. "I'm fine doctor, really...no need for probing." He managed a wink, but judging by the doctor's look it wasn't a convincing one.

"Fine my ass." Ashley growled, the woman close on his left, just behind the bed he sat on, the woman glaring daggers into his neck. "Michael Shepard does _not_ throw up like that without something _seriously_ being wrong, check him again doctor."

"I agree." Tali muttered, the Quarian just behind Michael, a three-digit hand landing a feathery touch on his shoulder. "What happened?"

"I told you.." Michael shook the touch aside even as Tali's question made him shudder. _The thankful dead, the gratefulness_, _wrong_..._it's_ _wrong_... _they_ _should_ _hate_..._despise_..._not_ _thank_..._God_..._not_ _thank_. "...I'm _fine_, the stench just got the better of me..."

"_Stench_? Not buying it boss." Now it was Ashley's turn to drop a hand on Michael's shoulder, hard, pressing down, _demanding_. "Check him again, Chakwas."

"No!" Michael slapped aside the needle the doctor came at him with, then Ashley's hand, shooting a glare back at Ashley, a glare she paid back in kind: "I don't need any damn needles or damn tests." He shook his head, watching the broken syringe with a jab of fear as the doctor bent to pick it up. _Must not show_...

Silence, then Tali's voice, small: "Michael...what's wrong?"

_Dead_. Michael blinked, hands squeezing the board of his bed. _All_ _dead_... "They..._wanted_ to die..." The words felt too big for his throat, as if he had to press them out. "...I could see it in their eyes..." _Eyes_..._dead_ _eyes_ _staring_ _at_ _me_..._happy_, _proud_..._my_ _doing_..._my_ _fault_...

"It wasn't your fault..." Tali muttered, Michael feeling her hand about to drop on his shoulder again...only to pull back as he jerked it away. "...you couldn't help them when they did what they did..."

"Can _always_ do _something_!" Michael hissed out as he shuddered, mind rebelling against Tali's words. "Not their choice, choice made for them, by the doctor, by me..." _Acting foolishly_..._should have considered their state, they wanted release! I shouldn't have offered it_..._God_..._grant me forgiveness_...

"How can _you_ have chosen for them?" Tali asked, puzzled.

Michael only shook his head, unable to answer.

_Dying men, screaming, explosions, and pride, always pride_..._my__ pride_..._inflaming theirs_..._shouldn't have_..._screaming, bleeding_..._they died for me_..._thanking me_..._their wives, their children_..._all_..._thanking_...

"They were probably better of..." Ashley muttered. "...they really looked eager to die...I don't want to think about something that would make you feel that..."

Michael nodded, throat closing up, unable to speak.

_Praised, always praised, my failure, always a failure_..._praised_..._all_ _eager_ _to_ _die_ _for_ _me_..._and_ _I_ _let_ _them_..._God_...

The memories were flooding him, slamming against his walls like a tidal wave, making him grit his teeth. "I'd like to be alone now..._please_..."

Ashley snorted. "What? The hell we'll leave you like this..."

A gutted man, hand still clutching his pistol, smiling, dying, so proud...and Michael waving in another.

Chakwas sighed. "I'm afraid when it comes to these moments there's not much we can do, he's stubborn as ever at these times."

Explosions, stitching over an already broken ground, tearing un-armoured men apart, cannon-fodder..._his_ cannon-fodder..._his_ decision..._his_ fault...his failing. _Pride_..._I_ _name_ _you_ _a_ _sin_..._my_ _sin_...

Tali muttering low, voice trembling: "But we can't just...I mean he's..."

Happy to die, happy to be torn apart, blood on his hands, soaking him, _staining_ him...screams of pain..._their_ screams..._his_ screams...it's the same thing...a world on fire, bombardment...dark shapes crossing the sky...

Michael let his head drop, fingers bending the steel of his bed's board as he struggled, the memory vivid, real...dark and twisted...twisted with something _else_... He grimaced, gritting his teeth.

"Come now...I assure you that the Commander will be fine with a few minutes for himself." Chakwas muttered, her voice a low murmur to Michael's ears. "However much I dislike doing this...it works...and we need him..."

_Need_...

Michael screwed his eyes shut. There was a _need_ within him...a need _consuming_ him...struggling against something alien, something _invading_ him. Screams, dying, blood...so much death, his _fault_, his _failure_...

Failure..._always_ failure...

He didn't even hear the click of the door to the infirmary closing as he swayed where he sat. To focused on the fight within him.

_Control, you need __control_...

Farmers dying, fire spreading, garrison slaughtered...wrong...all wrong...his wrong...galaxy burning...billions gone...his wrong...his fault...would be his fault...for he _must_ fail, _will_ fail...no victory _possible_...his fault...

_Unacceptable_...

It was the _same_, memory, vision, didn't matter, it was in his mind, pictures, feelings...failure bitter on his tongue. People dying...his fault...planets aflame...his fault...impossible to stop, all impossible to stop...

He shook with the feeling, the utter defeat, the helplessness...and felt revolted.

_Control yourself_!

It was bashing against him, again and again it rolled over him, visions, memories, blood and guilt...smashing and breaking against his walls...walls he felt _crumple_ around him, brick by brick falling out...the entire structure he'd built within him cracking, ready to _shatter_.

_Control_! _This is __unacceptable__ soldier_! _You_ _must_ _not_ _fail_! _Never__ again_! _That is __your__ burden_! _Your __punishment_! _You will control yourself __now_!

Pain, guild, shame... a low howl escaped Michael's gritted teeth as he swayed where he sat, gripping the metal edge of his bed with all his might.

_I failed, on Earth, at Elysium, and now too_..._I will fail_..._I cannot win, not against_... His mind retreated, unable to accept the darkness rolling over it. ..._not_ _against_ _this_ _power_..._hopeless_..._cannot_..._I'm_ _a_ _failure_ _praised_..._wrong_..._all_ _is_ _wrong_..._I_ _cannot_...

_Unacceptable_!

The howl got _louder_...and then _stopped_.

A crunch and the metal edge of the bed came off, Michael holding it up in bleeding hands, staring at it in wonder as the world returned to focus. He blinked, feeling control slip back, the visions and memories retreating before the pain in his hands and his own mind's inability to handle them for a moment longer.

A long sigh...and he felt his head drop as his chest heaved with an exertion he wasn't aware of.

And then felt weariness settle over him like a cloak, nearly driving him over the edge and down on the floor. _Tired_..._sleepy_..._hungry_...he shook his head, feeling his body's demands like a great ache within him...they were hooks in his chest, dragging him down...

A thump.

And he found himself on the floor, arms barely having caught him in time. Dizzy...his head swimming, the ship spinning around him. Ever since the _Blitz_ he'd felt it, the sleepiness, the tiredness, dragging at him, wishing to whisk him away from his duties and responsibilities...

And ever since Eden Prime...it was not a drag but a _pull_, the weight of a _galaxy_ around his neck, wanting nothing more then to fell him, to drop him into oblivion and sleep.

_No rest, no sleep_..._no time_..._must_..._study charts_..._information_..._tactical analyses_..._need_..._everything perfect_..._no deaths_..._nothing wrong_..._must_..._save them_..._repent_..._repent_...

His hands moved like in a daze...his vision hazy as his eyes wanted to close, to sleep, to rest, for _weeks_...

_Unacceptable_..._work_ _to_ _do_..._must_..._do_ _things_ _right_...

He found the tiny vial in his pocket, pulled it up...a trembling finger uncorking it, letting the little pill drop onto the floor.

And he fell.

A thump...and his face was resting against the cold floor, his breaths slow as his body began to overpower him.

_Unacceptable, weak flesh_...

He ignored the sleepiness so deep that it was painful...the memory of how _long_ it had been since he'd stolen more then _moments_ of rest...and let his lips catch the pill...and _swallowed_.

First there was nothing, only a darkness growing around him...

Then he felt his body jerk.

His mind soared, his body once more feeling distant, a powerful tool in his mind's hand once more.

He got to his feet, dusted off his uniform...and nodded.

_Crisis averted. Mission objective; calm crew down, assure of well-being. Then further study of Geth material, ensuring Garrus is working properly with his vengeance sated_. _Then four hours of exercise followed by two hours of targeting practice_. _Food will be had given time_. _Tactical data of last Geth attack will be studied in depth with Tali and Garrus, Council reports must be filed and_...

And Michael got to work.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson and her help._


	27. Chapter 27

"So despite their intelligence they are quite predictable, good."

Tali shot Garrus a quick nod of agreement before looking back to Shepard, finding the entire situation a bit...peculiar.

Instead of having sent them up to the communication room for a proper holographic projection and analysis of their clashes with the Geth, Michael had instead bodily grabbed Tali by the wrist – it still felt warm from the touch – and practically hoisted her away from engineering to the cargo hold while telling Garrus to 'get his lazy Turian ass over here' as he oh so diplomatically had put it... Then they had then found themselves building a small circle of crates in the middle of the cargo hold upon which they sat as they used cans of stored food and glasses on the floor to illustrate various scenarios.

And they were not the only ones sitting there. While Garrus sat on Tali's left, opposite her a Shepard who looked even larger then usual since he was sitting on the largest crate of the circle, making him look down on them all like the judge of their improvised little arena of fighting cans and glass bottles. To Michael's right was Wrex, the Krogan behind the ring as he leant against one of the crates of it, eyes fixed on the map of opened cans and the broken glass marking rocky terrain...as if he could see it all take shape. Liara was also there, the Asari sitting to Michael's left and looking attentive, if not particularly interested, Tali shot the woman a suspicious look, most likely the Asari was just there to watch over Michael on Chakwas' behalf, the two doctors got along well after all, but Tali still felt a bit...defensive about the mind-melding slu..._woman_.

She nearly shook her head, guilt digging into her at the near-thought. Melding was _not_ sex...and Liara had shown _no_ interest in pushing a romance with Michael...yet Tali still found herself..._agitated_ with the woman deserving nothing but admiration for helping them so freely. _Perhaps it's the connection she has with him_? _A connection I'll never have with __anyone_... It was a plausible reason, soothing despite it's bitter after-taste.

The guilt rose in her gullet though as she remembered Ashley, the woman tense and nearly _vibrating_ with frustration as she had admitted – through gritted teeth – that Shepard was avoiding her on the Normandy, and that it would be easier for Tali to observe and make sure the man was actually okay. It _shamed_ her how readily she had accepted her 'mission', how secretly _pleased_ she had felt with Ashley's being unable to do what they both wanted to do...how _jealous_ she had been for the _reason_ for Michael avoiding _Ashley_ and not _her_...

Even their little arena was a sign of Michael avoiding the marine, because Ashley was most likely in the comm room with Kaidan once again, and even though they both would probably like to be with them even now when the little analysis was over Michael didn't call for them...

_What __are__ you thinking_? She watched Michael from under the hood of her helmet as she bent her head down towards the map, watching him smile widely at Garrus while talking about something: Always around Ashley the man seemed to walk away, put something between them, everything to avoid even the _risk_ of closeness...yet he also kept _leaning_ towards her...as if _drawn_...and however painful it was to watch Tali couldn't help but _wonder_ at what was driving his behaviour. _He __is__ attracted to her_..._I think_..._so why the_..._dodging_..._he's obviously not a child_...

Her mind rebelled against the thought, unwilling to think of the two humans...together. Instead she focused on the thing that was an actual _problem_...where she herself – she bitterly acknowledged – could _matter_.

The fight on the freighter...it had been the first time Tali had seen Michael vulnerable..._ever_...not just vulnerable either, but in a state near _panic_. It rhymed badly with who he was...or rather...revealed something _else_ of who he was...something sad and..._frightening_. And though both she and Ashley had been surprised by his fast recovery...Tali could _still_ see that the man was marked, his _mask_ jarred...

It was the too wide smile, the all too eager movements, the slightly happier tone... It was a feigned cheerfulness concealing..._what_ Tali didn't know...and it worried and made her curious in equal measure.

Garrus laughed at whatever Michael said, making the man grin at the Turian...who answered with a grin of his own as he retorted, making Tali look at them both. If the fight on the freighter hadn't changed Michael, only revealed something within him...it sure had changed _Garrus_. Before the Turian had...well Tali wouldn't want to use Joker's term of 'having a pole up his ass'...but had definitively been...a bit tightly wound.

Yet now the Turian was more outspoken...seemed more..._relaxed_...yet at the same time quicker to anger...not too long ago she had seen him kick the Mako when a bolt wouldn't budge. There was more _passion_ in his movements, as if he had shrugged aside the ashen remains of a noble young spirit...only to reveal glowing embers beneath. She wasn't sure if she _liked_ the change or not...but it sure seemed to have earned Michael Garrus' unquestioning loyalty, the way the Turian faced Michael and stayed fixed upon the man showing it at every moment.

_Like I'm much better_... She looked away, mouth a bitter line even as she felt her cheeks flush, the memory of Michael standing above her like some protective God back on the Citadel practically burnt on her retina._ I wish I'd stop remembering that_..._it's_..._stupid_...

"I say, the galaxy to Tali." Blinking she looked up, finding Michael smirking at her as he leaned forward, the man shooting Garrus a meaning look and a grin. "See? Engineers, always thinking..." Tali grimaced, happy for her visor. Everything in Michael's stance, the way he moved his hands...everything was _forced_, too _eager_...a feigned cheerfulness...painful to see. He looked back to her, the smile so _honest_ and _kind_...if it hadn't been for the way he sat, just slightly _off_... it _wouldn't_ have _saddened_ her to see it: "Though that does mean you can say whatever you like about them and they won't object..."

Even the teasing _tone_ held a bit of...Tali blinked. _Wait_..._what_ _did_ _he_ _say_? "Excuse me...?"

"Well I was just explaining to Garrus here about the time you explained to me the beginning of the Geth war..." _Keelah no_... She felt her breath catch even as she balled her hands into fists at the memory. He had been so...irritating, and wrong, and..._irritating_! "...and how your people tried to commit genocide." _Damn_ _you_!

"It was _not_ a genocide! It was an attempt to _stop_ them from rebelling! And returning them to _not_ being _sentient_!" Tali cried the words out, annoyed with the high pitch of her voice and the way Garrus and Michael exchanged glances and stances of amusement. "They drove us from our home-world and slaughtered _billions_ of Quarians! Isn't that penance _enough_!"

"Ah." Michael once again leant forward, index finger raised, eager. "_Penance_ you say? But to do penance you have to have committed a crime first...don't you?"

"I...that's c-completely..." Tali stuttered, mind drawing a blank, then exploded. "It's just a choice of word!"

Garrus snorted, the Turian glancing at Michael before looking to her. "Yes, but _your_ choice of word, a little guilty conscience perhaps?"

"No." Tali replied, tone low and dark, glaring at Garrus even though she knew it did her no good. Off the field she was always nothing but a harmless little girl it seemed like... "The Geth were wrong to turn on us like that..."

"Yet you turned on them first, no?" Liara pointed out, voice calm and detached, as if she was arguing nothing of importance, even her _face_ and _stance_...all was so calm...nothing but _facts_ and _truth_... "Were they not entitled to defend themselves?"

And Tali found herself bristling against the words. "They should never have been created in the first place! They have no...no..." She moved her hand up, trying to find the word to express herself. "..._place_." Her voice went darker, _bitter_: "They are unnatural abominations...erring programming, a _failure_..." _Our_ _failure_...

"Sounds to me like they _made_ their place." Wrex rumbled, the Krogan shrugging at the others as they looked up at him in surprise, his ruddy eyes were focused on Tali though, ignoring the others: "There's no shame in defeat, your people survived, take pride in that."

Silence.

"I know what you mean." Tali finally managed, snorting as she crossed her arms in front of her and leant back: "But your people at least have a _homeworld_ to return to, and they might have made your species near-sterile, but at least they _respect_ you."

"What I don't understand..." Michael spoke up, just before Tali's words would end in _another_ awkward silence – she shot him a thankful look – the man looking curious as he looked at her. "Is why you're defending your ancestors? I mean you're not that religious..." _Keelah, why did I tell him of Quarian religion_..._oh right_..._because he asked_... "...and given how you're helping us fight Saren because of him trying to kill you I'd think you'd have some perspective on the Geth rebellion."

"Saren is trying to awaken the Reapers and slaughter the galaxy!" Tali replied with an annoyed squeal that only made the others grin, Shepard worst of all. _Damn that human_... "It's different! I do it to save an entire galaxy of people!"

"And they fought to save their entire race." Michael countered, looking smug, then shifted, now curious, that _need_ showing through once more... "But that still doesn't explain why you'd try to justify the Quarian's actions, otherwise you don't seem so..._stubborn_."

"I'm _not_..." Tali sighed, stopping herself as she saw Michael's amusement at her near-protest. "...I...look...they're..._evil_. You're all fighting them, they're cold and ruthless and hate us...why would you _defend_ them!"

"I don't need to hate something to kill it." Wrex rumbled with a shrug, looking back to Shepard.

Who in turn shrugged, the need burning brighter in him as he cocked his head to the side, watching her: "I'm not hearing an explanation as to why you hate them, and why you defend a decision you'd normally despise..."

"I..." Tali bit her lower lip, feeling her chest tighten under that _need_ bearing down on her...the others at the periphery of her vision as she found her hands moving, trying to explain even as no words came. _Everything I despise about my people's situation, myself_..._everything_..._it's because of __them_... "...they're _our_ mistake...they killed _billions_ of Quarians...they _still_ fight us...they are the _reason_ we're stuck in our Flotilla, in our _suits_..." _Mother_..._you_ _shouldn't_ _have_ _died_... Tali looked down, her chest tightening further, making her growl far too meek to her liking: "I can _never_ forgive them, _never_ understand them...I will not even _try_...I hate them with every fibre..." A glance up at the others, their faces strangely blurry to her vision: "...and you should _too_." She looked back at the floor, feeling out of breath all of a sudden.

Silence.

"A Quarian thing I believe, Michael." Garrus somewhat dryly pointed out. "And trying to explain hatred is a bit difficult, don't look so frustrated."

"I suppose..." Michael muttered...only for his voice to lighten as he loudly shifted where he sat: "Hey, by the way, is it 'the Geth' or '_the_ Geth'?"

Tali blinked, the wetness on her cheeks forgotten as she forced herself to look up, eyebrows arched at Michael. "What?"

The man looked..._guilty_, the need was there, as was the feigned cheerfulness, but now it was mixed with the guilt...and Tali felt a pang in her chest as she realised that _she_ was the one who had put it there. _I_..._should_ _have_ _been_ _less_ _upset about it_..._I_ _know_ _I_ _could_ _but_..._it's_ _so_..._hard_..._not_ _to_ _be_. Michael's voice was thoughtful though as he explained: "Well you once told me that they share information to become intelligent...so what is _one_ Geth?"

"Ah." Liara chimed in, the Asari leaning forward, more interested as she looked at Shepard while drumming her fingers against her chin. "I believe the Commander is considering whether the Geth network means that each program isn't really a member of a _species_ as much as it's a part of an _individual_."

"What? Like a brain?" Garrus asked, the Turian looking a little lost.

"Yeah." Wrex answered, nodding. "If they're all thinking as one...you could think of them _as_ one."

Garrus chuckled, eyeing Michael as he slapped his thigh in amusement: "So what does that make _you_ Shepard? Too much Batarian ale? Or too many punches to the head?"

Michael only grinned back.

Tali shook her head, feeling a stab of irritation. "No, I _told_ you, Michael, a single Geth program can still think, it's just less intelligent, a single cell of a brain is useless."

To her further annoyance the man only smiled at her, as he had started to do ever since Tali had accidentally called him by his first name and not his second. It _had_ been an accident...just in the heat of some argument about Geth programming...but now she found herself always using it. _We're shipmates, we can use first names with one another, despite him being my captain, my __human__ captain, it's okay, nothing intimate about it_... She looked away from the smile.

It was Liara who answered though. "You're right Tali, the simile doesn't fit Shepard, even in smaller networks the Geth can function semi-intelligent, and one individual is hardly helpless. Perhaps bacteria would fit better? They can be less specialised and still survive as individuals, but in a large group they can form a compact mass where they are still individuals, but also a part of a greater whole that work together and signal one another."

"Great." Garrus shook his head, the Turian's hand coming up to scratch one of his head-fringes. "So we're not fighting machines, or some great monster of an AI...but a bunch of computer programs that could be likened to a bad case of the sniffles..." A snort. "So much for the epic struggle..."

"A sniffle controlling tanks and machines with rocket launchers." Wrex pointed out, the Krogan's teeth showing in a smirk as he placed a clawed hand on Garrus' shoulder. "It's all about how you present it, don't worry, you'll get your little heroic moment." The Krogan rolled his eyes at the last words even as Garrus straightened under the reassurance.

Michael shrugged, head cocked as he pondered their words. "Wonder if that means killing a single program is actually _killing_ it...or rather like hurting one big organism..."

Tali found herself growling. "_No_." The others looked over to her in surprise. "You can't liken them to organics, because they're _not_, they're _artificial_, _soulless_, they have no emotions, nothing in common with us or any organic lifeforms. They're a _mockery_ of life...and every _real_ life they take..." She found herself wringing her hands, looking away as the ancestral guilt dug into her. "...is on _my_ people's hands..._our_ responsibility..." And then replaced by that old determination: "...and one we _will_ make right, that I will make right, with my death if need be."

Silence.

An uncomfortable shuffling.

And then Michael: "I believe you."

She looked up...and found him leaning forward as he met her gaze. There was more focus in his stance now, the feigned cheerfulness gone, replaced by..._understanding_... Him unknowingly showing that he could _relate_, even _admire_...her taking on such a task...that he admired _her_...

Tali felt her heart skip a beat.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for not rushing to Tali's defence. ;-)_


	28. Chapter 28

The rocky ridge was _perfect_.

The sand of the rise they were upon was as black as midnight and the stones atop it a dark orange. It was nearly invisible compared to the dark sky and the twinkling stars when one looked up at it. Garrus' black visor was even less visible as he poked his head over the wall of stones, watching the fight below with his mandibles close together in concentration.

Below the Geth base was an anthill of activity.

Its circular outer wall, dark purple in colour, looked vaguely organic with its wavy crenellations and peaked sniper lookouts. Lookouts currently manned by five, six..._ten_ Geth snipers, the crenellations themselves manned by Geth troopers too difficult to count in the dark night and the many shots arcing back and forth between them and those besieging them.

Within the protective wall the Geth had dug six round foxholes with edges reinforced with more of the purple metal the machines preferred, each one holding a Geth Prime along with seven Geth troopers. _Second line of defence, another source of reinforcement. They'd better move soon_... Garrus' gaze darted to the small bunker at the centre of the base, the thing a low hexagon no doubt concealing an entire _complex_ beneath...and with its one door open as it spewed out Geth troopers that in calm order filtered out towards the walls, their white armour against the black sand making them look like shooting stars.

Sighting down his sniper rifle Garrus held his fire though, _patient_, _waiting_... "This is Eagle Eye, situation unchanged, status?"

He felt..._good_. Like a weight had been lifted off his chest, there was...a _calm_ within him now, a calm he hadn't felt since...before he even joined c-sec, if _that_. Dr Saleon was _dead_, the criminal had _finally_ been brought to _justice_. It had taken so many years..._too_ many...but it had _finally_ been done. The humans had a saying – Garrus _liked_ their sayings, they were..._purer_ then Turian ones – that all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

_But it works the other way too, when good men __do__ something_..._evil __cannot__ triumph_. Beneath his helmet Garrus grinned, hands steady with a near endless patience even as his heart thudded with exhilaration.

To his right Ashley crouched, the woman aiming down at the besiegers as she checked them with the scope of her rifle, voice tinged with pride as she said: "No casualties among the marines, they're holding their own."

Garrus nodded, pleased. The human marines were perhaps not as..._thorough_ as the Turian army...but they had a tough attitude Garrus had begun to like. They _improvised_, kept their goals _realistic_ and didn't let the increasing return fire of the Geth startle them as they kept hugging the cover of the boulders outside the Geth fort...and for a near forty minutes they had fought the increasingly intense Geth defence with a tenacity that would make any Turian commander proud.

To his left Tali lay against the stone wall, the Quarian keeping her glowing omni-tool close to her hip to hide its amber glow, the light instead throwing her soft shape in stark relief to the jagged rocks around her. Her visor seemed to glow like a sun as she looked down at it: "Geth energies around walls at seventy percent, their numbers are concentrating around it, as planned." _Predictable, no other threat visible, therefore they're increasing the defence to win through attrition, unimaginative creatures_...

Garrus nodded to Tali, pleased. _Just a bit more_...

With the issue with Doctor Saleon settled Garrus had embraced their hunt for the Geth with a vengeance, eager to wreak justice upon the servants of Saren. _Saren_...the name still leant a bad taste to Garrus tongue. A Spectre going against everything his rank _stood_ for, an _oppressor_ instead of a _protector_...a _criminal_ instead of a _servant_...a stain on the honour of _all_ Turians, of the entire galactic community!

As such he had felt elated when they had found the last Geth base, hidden on the base of Solcrum. The last of Saren's little push.

"Thunder in position." Shepard's voice through the com-link was low, calm, _waiting_, an echo of Garrus' emotions as he sighted down on the Geth moving to the walls. Garrus nodded, knowing fully well his responsibility as the one to call the correct moment, of the _trust_ Michael, who did not _allow_ slip-ups, was putting in him. _I will not fail you, not after having given me_..._peace_.

A moment later a more eager human voice, barely recognised as one of the marines the Alliance had supplied them with to get rid of the Geth with, called out through the com-link as well: "This is lightning, deployed and ready to fire."

"Hold until I give the command." Garrus replied, knowing it was unnecessary, but unwilling to risk leaving room for the eager human to 'interpret' his orders.

_Timing is everything_...

"Geth energies at the walls at seventy-five percent." Tali muttered even as Garrus watched two Geth troopers in each foxhole leave their cover to further reinforce the small army atop the walls, the pulse-fire from its crenellations a constant flash of white light that in small white orbs flew out over the darkness around the walls, towards the tiny shapes among the rubble...

"The marines are having a bit of difficulty now..." Ashley turned her head to him, eyes behind her visor narrowing at him. Garrus was no fool, Ashley respected him, even liked him it seemed like, but there were still moments...when she was guarded against his behaviour. _Like when I risk the lives of fellow human soldiers of hers_...

He offered her a curt nod. _Patience_, _patience_... His scope moved to watch the marines, and indeed seeing several of their shields flare with the impact of Geth fire as they pushed themselves into the dirt, barely able to return fire any more.

Tali's voice came a moment later, breathless and eager. "Eighty..."

_That will have to do_. "This is Eagle Eye, requesting lightning."

A pause.

Then the eager human, his voice raising in a near-cheer: "Lightning's away, I repeat, lightning's away!"

Looking up from his scope Garrus was just in time to see the bright red lights streak from behind the struggling marines, fired from the hidden artillery detachment that had hidden away a near hour ago and set up their targets.

Even from a distance Garrus could hear the odd shrieking of the heavy missiles as he watched the fiery explosives shoot forth in contrails of smoke.

Michael and Tali had studied Geth standard defences in detail before, _hours_ labouringly calculating vectors and force – _Well_..._mostly her calculating while Shepard went through the ammunitions and weapons available, _Garrus admitted with a chortle – and now it paid of.

With an almighty crash the missiles struck the weak spots on the wall, the point just before it started to slope outwards, _just_ beneath the Geth defenders. There was dust, a crash...and the defenders were torn down in an almighty roar of collapsing walls. The sniper lookouts too were struck, a missile on each 'tower', folding them like a house of card and crushing the snipers within.

_Can Geth feel panic_? Garrus doubted it, but if they _could_ surely the ones in the foxholes would feel it as they saw the walls around them suddenly turn to clouds of smoke and debris, _feel_ their brethren simply..._disappearing_...and _knowing_ they were next.

"Two percent survivors on walls!" Tali exclaimed with a loud grin in her voice, equally proud as she was pleased of the destruction of her ancestral foe no doubt.

Garrus offered her a grin he knew she couldn't see behind his dark visor. He too felt it, the..._rightness_ of what they had done, the _justice_. _Perhaps for different reasons_..._but we're together in it_. "Leaving nearly no survivors, excellent."

"Thunder incoming." Barely had Shepard's words cleared the com-link before there was a roar of the Normandy's engines as the ship flew over their heads, the frigate turning sharply upwards even as a lone object detached from it.

_Job not done yet_... With a feral grin on his face Garrus turned back to his scope, voice low and pleased: "Fire at will."

A Geth trooper tried to claw its way out of the debris of the fallen walls...only for Garrus' shot to tear its head off. Another...still firing out at the marines now advancing upon the broken walls...fell with its torso opened by Ashley's bullet.

"Wall defences down, Geth in retreat." Tali said, even as Garrus watched one of the Geth Primes in its foxhole start to climb up and towards the illusion of safety offered by the central bunker...only to be severed at the spine when the Mako landed upon it, another bouncing wheel crushing a Geth trooper and sending its broken remains flying.

Already the bouncing Mako's gun was turning to track the Geth, one of the foxholes disappearing into black dust as a grenade landed right in it, tearing all but the Prime in it apart...which too fellmoments later as Garrus and Ashley simultaneously opened up, gutting the stumbling machine like a fish.

The Mako swerved a hard right, driving around the central bunker and casting up a cloud of black dust in its wake as its main gun barked, heavy calibre bullets tearing into another foxhole, forcing the Geth there to duck. Pinning them for Garrus and Ashley to near mechanically finish them off with regular thumps of their sniper rifles.

All remaining Geth were now firing at the Mako, many shots missing as the vehicle swerved hard lefts and rights, more intent on dodging the enemy fire then to properly return it. To Garrus' left he could practically _feel_ Tali wince at the sight...and chuckled under his breath even as he put a bullet through the eye of another Geth trooper, watching as it stuttered and fell...even as the one next to it fell forward, back riddled with shots from the advancing marines.

And then it was over.

Smoke still rose from one of the foxholes.

A lazy haze of dust drifted from the fallen walls.

A Geth Prime, its large bulk prone just before the entrance to the central bunker, glowing amber as a fire within ravaged it.

And the small echoes of scrapping boots as marines with lowered weapons slowly tightened the circle around the central bunker and the Mako parked next to it, the door on its side opening and letting out three shapes, Michael Liara and Wrex looking focused as they made their way towards the bunker.

"Geth readings at five percent." Tali calmly stated, the Quarian rising from her cover as she nodded to herself and put a hand against the side of her helmet as she spoke through the com-link to their Commander. "Only a few left inside the bunker."

"Moving in, marine detachments in support." Shepard replied, voice calm, as if it was nothing but a training exercise, even as Garrus saw the human lead his Asari and Krogan escort through the doors of the bunker. "Alenko, ready the bomb and come down on my command."

"Roger that, Commander." The lieutenant replied with a crackle of static, the human far above them in the cargo hold of the Normandy, as he had been for their entire mission, preparing the nuclear bomb.

_Personally_ Garrus thought the idea of moving such a destructive thing into the underground complex of the Geth a bit of an overkill after the machines had already been defeated... But Tali had insisted, wanting to make sure no Geth spontaneously reactivated and rebuilt when they had left...and Garrus couldn't fault Michael who wasn't known for taking any risks for listening to the Geth-expert.

"Eagle eye standing down." Garrus curtly spoke, knowing Michael wouldn't need them as he tore through what little surviving Geth there were with the human marines in support. So it was with a pleased sigh he stood up, turned...and carefully sat down on the stones he'd been using as cover, letting aching legs relax as he put his sniper rifle away with the gentle care of a man loving his weapon.

Looking up he saw Ashley doing the same...and smiled in appreciation, for all her...bluntness...the marine sure knew how to take care of a weapon... Even as he watched the woman put her rifle away he heard her mutter: "If he manages to blow himself up I'll kill him..." Garrus couldn't' help but chuckle...and Ashley looked sharply up at him. "_What_?"

"So protective...I'm sure Kaidan knows how to handle the bomb, or Michael wouldn't have chosen him to take care of it, right?"

He grinned in amusement as Ashley looked away, hands coming up to rub her shoulders, voice somewhat awkward: "Of course..._right_."

She was a curious thing, that Ashley...Garrus had seen her fight with Shepard...and even though he wasn't good at reading human social cues...he was _sure_ she was one bump away from simply _pouncing_ the man. Yet at the same time she had started to act so awkwardly around Kaidan...as if unsure how to treat the man...and Garrus could only shake his head at the entire thing. Back on Turian ships there had been no issue with a little bed-wrestling, but apparently the human military had a taboo on such things...and as such Garrus couldn't help but wonder if the poor woman was about to explode from a hormone build-up. _Do humans go into heat_?_ I should check that_...

"So..." Tali too was looking away, the Quarian sitting in the sand with her back against the stones, fingers idly drumming against a thigh. "...what's _with_ you and Kaidan anyway chief? I thought that you and...you _know_..."

_Uh_ _oh_...

Garrus suddenly felt as if he'd been dropped between two hard places...that were far too close to crash together in an almighty clash. He knew Tali and Ashley were friends, Tali's all too cute behaviour and willingness to work for the team having dropped Ashley's somewhat guarded stance on other species...and Ashley's welcoming drawing a Tali too used to distrust from others like a moth to a flame.

_Shame Ashley __should__ be distrusting of Tali_. Garrus looked from left to right licking the tips of his mandibles in worry. _For all the good things they say about cat fights I __really__ don't want to be in the middle of one_..._not when it comes to these two_...

"Well...yes..." Ashley nodded, looking over at Tali. "...we...I...am...but it's not like anything is happening. And...Michael isn't really...he's not all _there_ you know...while Kaidan's actually a _good_ man...not some sort of..._machine_."

"He's _not_ a machine." Tali protested, voice a bit too high in pitch before she controlled herself with a cough. "I mean you saw it yourself..."

Garrus grimaced, he'd _heard_ about Shepard's collapse...but had been too focused on his victory to actually think much of it...and now he felt a little worm of guilt in his gut as he realised it might have been more than what Michael had made of it. "Look, I like the girl talk too, but could you _not_ have it around me?" _Please shut up before someone explodes_...

"Oh shut up, you know you love the gossip." Ashley chuckled at him, unaware of the danger as she turned back to Tali: "Well I guess...but...damn it's a bit frightening isn't it? I mean...it's like he's suffering from a split personality disorder or something. Yet I _still_..." There was a small shudder in the woman's voice as an armoured gauntlet reached up, fingers moving down a neck, Ashley seemingly unaware of it...

And Tali looking away, the Quarian tensing in what could only be jealousy._ Oh dear_... "I don't think he _is_ actually..." She seemed about to say something more, but held her tongue.

Garrus only shook his head. That Ashley didn't understand that Tali _too_ was suffering from a crush on the poor Commander was a small wonder considering how much the two talked...and perhaps it was for the best, he sure didn't want to see the two start fighting, they'd likely tear the Normandy apart with that fight...

Amazingly, Michael himself didn't seem to notice it, as if he couldn't register the Quarian as a woman but only as an alien and comrade in arms.

_Perhaps that's for the best_..._wonder_ _if_ _it's_ _a_ _human_ _thing_? _Though I don't understand cross-species attraction either_... He glanced over at Ashley. The woman's eyebrows barely visibly beneath her visor, just one part of that silly human fur that didn't seem to serve any purpose...as if they had tried to become like the monkeys Garrus had seen in the zoo only to stop mid-development. There were also those ridiculous bumps on her chest that human women sported...looking far too soft on a creature supposed to be _moving_... Not to mention that stocky waist of human women that only _looked_ slim due to the wide hips only a _Quarian_ could beat. _I can't even __imagine__ being attracted to a human_...

_Maybe Quarian's look more similar underneath those suits, can't make sense of it otherwise_...

"Oh?" Ashley asked, too focused on Tali to notice Garrus' scrutiny. "Perhaps...he is..." A sigh and she shook her head. "...but he's avoiding me, I don't know how to..._understand_ him."

"Perhaps he's avoiding you because..." Tali's voice failed, the Quarian looking away with a shudder. "...I don't know..."

"You think he's avoiding me because..." Ashley's voice rose in sudden happiness as she grasped at the thought. "...because he _is_ attracted? That would...Tali you're my hero."

"Yeah..." The Quarian nodded, looking away...and Garrus felt a pinch of sympathy for the poor girl that already knew she stood no chance. _Probably for the best, Shepard's not the best choice for a Quarian girl_...

Then there was a crackle of the com-link, Michael's voice calling through, cold and professional: "Normandy's to land, Alenko, prepare to deploy the bomb, site secured."

"Roger that, Commander." Kaidan replied a moment later.

A pause, then a hint of eagerness in Michael's voice: "Joker, begin plotting a course for Feros, Geth strategic data suggesting an imminent assault on the planet, and we will be there to greet them."

"On it, Commander." Joker replied with a chuckle. "I'll prepare the red carpet."

A pause, this time longer then the first, and Michael's voice spoke up again, this time the coldness was gone, replaced by...amusement? "Oh and Tali...I think we have something for you..."

Garrus and Ashley both looked to the Quarian in surprise, who despite the visor looked utterly bewildered as she nervously fiddled with the hands in her lap. "You have...what?"

"You'll see..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her ever helpful comments._


	29. Chapter 29

Her face was burning up.

There could be no other explanation as Tali felt her suit heat up to the point that it was a wonder that the VI within wasn't sounding off in alarm, meanwhile her face felt like it had dipped into some sort of fiery acid...that had also forced her lips into a wide grin that by now had begun to hurt.

When they had come back to the Normandy after their mission Shepard had only briefly paused to make sure Joker had punched in the right coordinates for Feros...before going to see Tali with what he had found in the Geth base.

What he had found was a treasure.

Data on Geth _evolution_, Geth _tactics_ and even records of Geth _bases_...and Tali hadn't even deciphered most of it yet! Not only that but Michael had simply _given_ it to her! A _gift_...Tali _knew_ that when she returned to the Flotilla she would be lauded, her pilgrimage seen as a _rousing_ success...and even more _importantly_, the data would in the end save _countless_ Quarian lives in their skirmishes with the Geth!

It had left her speechless.

So speechless in fact that when Michael had pointed out that it would probably be enough for her pilgrimage – an understatement beyond his comprehension – and that she would then be coming home 'with honours'...she hadn't been able to respond to Ashley's sudden grin of delight and exclamation that Tali had just 'graduated'.

So stunned had she been that she hadn't even properly _thanked_ Michael, just managed a sort of stuttering sound that had made him flash that _irritating_ smile...which in turn had forced her to leave before she would explode in some undignified squeal of joy and frustration.

Nor had she taken into account the look of..._mischief_...that had suddenly permeated Ashley's entire being...

So she had gone back to work in a daze, mind half on her work, half on the great gift she'd received, on the journey home she would one day take. Considering it was such a great boon for the Quarians against the _Geth _even her _father_ would attend the greeting party for her, she had felt her chest warm in gratitude each time she had realised that...

Of course those warm feelings and thoughts set on a distant future – she could still be killed before returning home after all, a thought that couldn't _quite_ sober her out of the stupor she'd fallen into – had distracted her from the whispering and tittering occurring across the ship, most of it centred around an Ashley who all of a sudden seemed to be _everywhere_...

There was the whispering when people didn't think she could hear, the odd looks she received, the..._amusement_ in their stances...she had observed it with some puzzlement at the times she'd noticed it...but been so distracted that she hadn't paid it much mind.

So when she had been called by Michael to meet him in the cargo hold and had come running to help him with whatever he needed...she had come to an utterly shocked halt at the sight before her.

Someone – Ashley, she had latter learnt – had covered the two pillars in the centre of the cargo hold in twinkling lamps that were supposed to be used to make landing strips...but now made a pretty pattern of red lights that shone across a floor covered in a white carpet Ashley had revealed to actually be a decommissioned parachute for the Mako. The table for the armoury had been moved and expanded using the table over at the living quarters, _how_ Ashley had even _managed_ to get it down the elevator escaped Tali...

And the table itself had been _covered_ in food...and not just _any_ food...but food the others claimed to be for '_feasting'_!

Tali – having only _heard_ about other races celebrating with an abundance Quarians would _never_ waste – had done nothing but stared in confusion, dimly wondering if the cheerful group of the ground team plus the doctor and pilot before her had all suffered a fit of mass hysteria.

Then they had come at her, arms stretched wide, grins _wider_, as they had exclaimed their congratulations to her finished pilgrimage...and Tali had once again found herself speechless as she had been dragged in amongst friends that didn't seem able to _stop_ patting her shoulder or even _hugging_ her...

_That_ was when her face had begun to burn.

It had briefly faded when Wrex had shoved a shotgun in her face.

Only to burn all the brighter when he had reversed the weapon and offered it to her, telling her with a feral smirk that she needed more firepower out in the field. A _gift_, just like _that_...to someone who until _very_ recently had never received one in her _life_...

Then Liara, the Asari supported by doctor Chakwas since she had injured her leg during the fight in the bunker, had limped over to her with several filled glass jars balanced on a silver tray...and explained how she and Chakwas had managed to use what they had in the lab to make taste-modifying liquids for the usual bland soup Tali had gotten so used to. With such luxuries usually not available on the Flotilla, her never having had money for it on her pilgrimage and with the Normandy stores for her all containing the cheapest Quarian food she had found her mouth water at the mere thought of getting to actually _taste_ meat for the first time in her life...

And then found her face warm even more as she realised what work making all those different spices must have been...

Joker and Garrus had too come up with something for her, having salvaged things from spare parts and collected some element zero, that with a toolbox and a challenge issued to _prove_ her claim that a Quarian engineer can make _anything_ fly with a little element zero...

Tali was already pondering making a drone of some sort when she saw it...even when she found herself looking away from the grinning pair as they watched her fingers twitch with the need to build...

Kaidan's gift had been a bit..._puzzling_...a simple, if beautiful, silver bracelet. It had quite obviously not been meant for her, if the fact that it currently fit her upper left arm instead of her wrist didn't do it then the way Kaidan's head turned ever so softly in Ashley's direction whenever he looked at the thing _did_. Rather then to refuse it, and potentially cause embarrassment for him, Tali had accepted it...and felt her face burn with the undeserved generosity heaped upon her.

And Ashley hadn't made things any better. Besides having made the entire feast _possible – _Tali didn't want to _know_ what bullying she'd done to get the others all down there_ – _apparently she had made an ad hoc kitchen and proceeded to dominate it while using Wrex as a assistant – an amusing picture in its own right – but she had also managed to make two _cakes_...one of which was edible for _Quarians_! Tali found her gaze flicker to it even as hre mouth watered, then back to her current source of embarrassment.

True, they had all managed to get a few drinks in themselves...but not _nearly_ enough to get drunk. Yet strangely enough they had _all_ agreed to Ashley's coaxing that they should _sing_ to Tali...

As such she now found herself _sitting_ at the head of the table still ripe with food – having been pressed to sit by a smirking Michael – as the others _stood_, each and every single one of them _looking_ at her as they sung what had to be some sort of human song where they visibly struggled to make some words fitting for her situation.

She wanted to fall through the floor to hide her embarrassment...and at the same time _never_ wanted it to end.

It nearly hurt.

"Happy..._pilgrimage_ to Tali...happy..._pilgrimage_ to you!" With a cheer, ably assisted by a far too excited Ashley clapping her hands together, the others moved to sit down, crates drawing in as they sat down before the table of...what half of it was Tali had no idea. _Better ask Shepard with each new thing, no point in getting poisoned_...she glanced at the man sitting to her right, the man grinning as he bit down on an oddly crispy sliver of bread that instantly caught her curiosity, despite her being unable to eat such a solid thing. _Keelah it looks like it would almost be worth it_...

"_Finally_! Food!" Wrex rumbled in the middle of the table on the left, drawing a chuckle out of Garrus opposite him even as the two instantly went for different plates of fried food, their tongues nearly hanging out in hunger.

"Boys..." Ashley, at the other end of the table, shook her head with a chuckle, then looked up to Tali: "My sisters at least have _some_ table manners..." Her gaze darted down at the table before Tali. "...and you're not eating, afraid of my cooking are you?" She shot Tali an amused wink.

"I..." Tali found her hands darting into one of the pockets of her suit to retrieve the eating-straw and visor-unit, only to hesitate as she stared at the befuddling array of dishes before her. "...have no idea what I dare eat..."

"Here's a hint." Michael offered with a sly grin, the man leaning close as he with a fork aimed at the spot right in front of her. "See that cake on a plate _right_ in _front_ of you? It _might_ be for you..." Tali's shoulders dropped as she cocked her head to the side at him, irritated as much as amused by his words, which wasn't helped by the man smirking as she shrugged and leaned back. "Just an idea..."

"Ha-ha..:" She dryly started, stabbing the freed straw towards Michael, who offered her a feigned look of being hurt. "...just so you know, I'm laughing _at_ you, not _with_ you." With that she moved her hands up, practised fingers releasing the speech-unit in her helmet and attaching the eating-unit, the straw following a moment later with the whirring sound of her eating-unit disinfecting the end, a flick of her finger...and she freed some disinfectant from a vial in another pocket and rubbed it over the other end of the straw and looked down at the strange cake..

It was..._green_. The perfectly round sphere placed on a white plate having a sheen like it was sweating, the shell of it of a semi-resistant and semi-transparent skin that partly yielded to a careful poke from Tali's straw. Beneath it something moved, like a mist of thick green goo that swirled around to impact of her prod. _So_..._how__ good is Ashley at making food for Quarians_? _She __does__ know of Quarians needing a different chirality in the proteins we eat_..._and__ that doesn't taste like slime_..._right_?

"Aww, is the Geth-slaughtering Quarian noble scared of a pastry?" Michael taunted.

Tali looked up sharply, shooting him a glare of narrowed eyes and – though he couldn't see it, his grin told her he knew – a smirk on her lips. She had _ages_ ago corrected him when he wondered if her father's place in the admiralty board meant she was some sort of noble...but he _wouldn't_' let it go...and _of course _he had to tease her when she had switched away her speech unit and she couldn't respond...

Holding Michael's gaze she defiantly leant forward...a small sigh he couldn't hear...and she thrust her straw through the skin of the cake. Then her tongue came up against the familiar tube, the thin muscle folding out and up, nearly circling the entire straw, the forked end of her tongue gripping tightly...before the muscle begun to move as it drew in the food.

A moment later the content within the skin began to trickle into her mouth.

She felt herself sit straighter, blinking with the sensation, a strange tingling at the top of her skull. She had _expected_ something tasting like fruit, most that she ate on the flotilla had that taste after all...and she had _gotten_ that. What she _hadn't_ expected was the...energy in it, the _intensity_, the...she didn't even have a word for it. It was so _strong_...so _wonderful_...she had never _tasted_ the like! It made her throat tingle, her mouth water like never before...made her groan in her mask, fogging the visor for but a moment.

She had to stop, gasping she released the straw with her tongue, feeling her skin prickling with the energizing sensation. A glance up and she realised everyone was looking at her with curiosity...and she couldn't hold back the cry of delight as she waved her hands up in the air: "This is the greatest thing I've _ever_..." The others looked at each other in confusion, Ashley half-rising in alarm as she looked at Tali's waving arms. "...oh right." She practically _tore_ her food-unit out and pushed back the one for speech. "This thing is great! I...it's great!" Her fingers twitched, already wanting to pick up the food-unit again. "I've _never_...there's no words!"

"I think that's a 'hats off for the chef'" Kaidan muttered, hands on utensils as he dug into the whitish cake the others but Garrus – who didn't seem to mind – were being served. He shot Ashley a look, as did the others a moment later, the others far less...softly though. _Keelah_..._is it wrong of me to hope for those two to get together_?

Ashley smiled widely, her cheeks actually reddening a little as she sat back down and rigidly looked at Tali, no daring to look at any of the others – especially Kaidan or Michael Tali guessed – as she said: "Well I always baked for my sisters during their special occasions...never done one for a _Quarian_ though, was really..._weird_."

"I can imagine." Tali quickly managed before she found herself sliding the speech-unit out in favour of the food-unit so she could eat again. A moment later the juice of _wonder_ pouring in...and Tali found her right foot tapping the floor even as a small _purr_ escaped the back of her throat, making the blush on her face burn powerful once more.

For a while she couldn't hear, couldn't feel...she could only sip with her eyes closed, body shuddering with the strange sensation rushing into her gullet.

Then a thought. _I can't believe others taste things like this all the time_...

Her eyes opened, gaze moving to Garrus. As a Turian he too had to eat a food whose proteins had the chirality opposite that of Asari, Krogans and humans... And people never _ceased_ to point out that Turians and Quarians could eat the same food – in fact it was one of the things helping the budding relationship in the movie 'Fleet and Flotilla', a movie that always made Tali's heart ache with equal parts yearning and grief – while missing the point that they _never_ did...

First of all Turians were more or less carnivores, as if Garrus chomping into his piece of meat with both taloned hands and most of his mouth as if it hadn't yet died wasn't enough of a hint, while Quarians in their poor conditions in the Flotilla had adapted to an entirely vegan diet. And then there was the difference with _chewing_, Tali knew Quarians _could_ chew their food, she _had_ a thin line of sharp teeth after all...but with their suits all food came in liquid shape, which was something Turians by and large disliked.

In fact Turians had more in common with _humans_...her gaze moved to Michael, watching him bite away great chunks of his own cake with generous appetite, if less Varren-like than Garrus. It was _fascinating_ to watch...the human face was so..._square_...sharp in its lines...their chewing looking like a mechanical _grinding_ to her eyes...which lingered on his jawline as she watched the corded muscles beneath work as he ate. _Maybe it is how Quarians chew too_..._but it was still amazing to watch_.

She had no comparison, but she _could_ compare their drinking, her eyes following Michael's hand reaching down for a glass and bringing it to his lips. Even without a suit Tali was sure a Quarian would be drinking with her tongue, perhaps press the glass against her lips like he so she push an undulating tongue into it, but _never_ tilt it as he did so as to pour it down into his mouth... _How do they evade choking_? _I should read some human biology_... Her gaze moved down a bit, watching his the bulge on his throat move as he drank in deep as if in a daze...and felt the blush grow painful. ..._or_ _not_..._yes_..._better_ _not_...

8

8

8

The party was still going strong an hour later, and Tali felt her blush slowly fade as a feeling of warm..._contentment_ settled over her.

She was leaning back in her chair, speech-unit in since she was full to bursting, yet she didn't speak as she with a small smile on her lips watched the others eat and talk and laugh at the party, at _her_ party... _I don't think I've been this happy since_..._I can't remember a time_... She shot Ashley a thankful look, smirking at the way the woman was bending her head as she grinned at a blushing Kaidan.

Liara and Chakwas had somehow roped in Joker in a conversation about historical research of all things, a subject where the pilot was making up for his lack of knowledge with volume and off-topic accusations that stumped Liara while making the other doctor chuckle even as she with a smile reprimanded him.

Meanwhile Garrus and Wrex had begun using a variety of utensils and half-eaten foods to line up different scenarios as they discussed old scenarios they – mostly Wrex – had encountered and how to best solve them. Both warriors grinning as they joked around with this detail or that.

As to Michael...she looked over to him and found him reading a report on that worn electronic reader he _always_ carried around on the Normandy...and sighed with a smile.

"Huh?" The man looked up at the sound, eyes focusing on her somewhat slowly as he placed the reader into his lap. "Sorry, I hope I wasn't being impolite, was just trying to keep myself up to date on Feros..."

Tali chuckled, she couldn't help it. "_Of course_ you were...admirable, but when _I_ relax you should know _you_ can too, if for but an hour." She crossed her arms in front of her, chuckling low as she cocked her head at Michael: "Though I'm not sure I forgive you, you _did_ tease me about the cake and my father after all..."

"Oh right..." The man shrugged and looked away, the attempt at innocence as amusing as it was transparent, then looked back to her, a sudden _seriousness_ in his body: "Actually...I could repay you..." _Huh_! "...come along."

Suddenly Tali was off her seat, pulled towards a corner of the cargo hold by Michael looking oddly...conflicted.

_What is he_..._Keelah he won't_... Tali felt her face flush even before Michael turned to face her, his smile was reassuring, though his stance was still a bit stiff, conflicted. "I've not given you a gift yet."

"Wha-!" Tali spluttered, shaking her head furiously. "You got to be...Michael you _gave_ me _data_! You've made my pilgrimage a done thing! I can't...it's the greatest gift a Quarian could _get_! You don't need to give me _anything_ more..." _I_ _want_ _it_..._no_..._I_ _shouldn't_..._I_..._damn_ _it_...

Amusement, the man smirking at her. "I got the data by coincidence, copying it for you wasn't even an effort, for _you_ it might mean the world, but for _me_ it feels...insufficient."

"I...wha-" Tali felt her chest tighten, her fingers fiddling with one another nervously. "I don't...understand."

"See it as payment." Michael shrugged, looking over her shoulder to nod at the others still deep in their various conversations, his voice low: "The humans there are all paid by the alliance, Wrex is paid by both me and the Shadow broker, Liara...would never admit it, but wants to see her mother..." For a moment Michael seemed distant, as if seeing something in front of him, then returned with a blink. "...and Garrus is living his dream of doing good things without rules holding him back, they are _all_ getting something out of this."

She hesitated, then muttered: "I get to _survive_..." She looked up at the giant of a man with a crooked smile she knew he couldn't see.

"Tali." The man shook his head at her, calm amusement beaming down at her. "You could have left for the Flotilla and Saren wouldn't have caught you ages ago, you know this." A shrug. "I realise you do all this for the sake of the galaxy and your people...and love that about you..." Tali's heart nearly jumped out of her chest, making her stumble where she stood._ 'About'! He said 'about'_! Her mind cried it out even as he heart continued to jump around in her chest. "...but you too should get something out of all you're doing."

_And what do __you__ get_? She couldn't bring herself to ask it, knowing he'd probably either lie or clam up...instead she shook her head, voice small: "_Really_, it's not necessary, I already feel overwhelmed as it is and don't really need another..." She looked down at his outstretched hand. "...what the...?"

She couldn't help it, she picked it up. The small computer was the size and shape of a coin, but a mottled brown and covered in the wirings. _By the ancestors, what has he done now_... She hovered her omni-tool over it, eyebrow coming high at the text scrolling up on its screen.

Michael coughed, his stance awkward: "I know I'm not very good at programming..."

"You're telling me..." She muttered, then looked up with a blush of embarrassment even as she saw Michael smirk at her: "Erm...sorry...spotted a lot of superfluous code..." Her gaze darted down again, unable to look him in the eye. _Good_..._insult_ _the_ _gift_..._keelah_ _I_ _act_ _like_ _such_ _a_ _fool_..._wait_..._is_ _this_... "Michael...this is a search program."

"I know, able to find...this." Looking up Tali found Michael holding up a small chain upon which an identical tiny computer hung. He saw her confusion, and shrugged. "Well I don't have much...and you told me Quarians don't really value personal possessions...given that and your dedication to your people...this seemed fitting."

"I...don't understand." Tali breathed, feeling her chest tighten painfully.

"Whenever you and your flotilla enters Citadel space, and Alliance space in particular, and end up having troubles with authorities or whatever..." Michael shrugged, pointing to the computer in Tali's hand. "...you call me." He feigned arrogance. "After all, I _am_ a war-hero, Alliance Commander and Spectre with quite some clout in Citadel space..." And became serious again. "...after all you're doing for us it feels...proper...to be able to do repay you."

"That's...you didn't have to do this..." Tali managed, her throat closing up, feeling as if the ship was listing all of a sudden.

"I know..." The conflict in his stance returned as he turned his head a fraction of an inch, as if waging an internal debate, a moment...and he looked back to her, smiling: "...but I don't exploit my friends, you deserve this, and I...would feel better knowing you're moving back in a place where the problems could be minimized by some assistance." There was a look of...reluctance in his stance: "Where should I drop you off so you can go back to the Flotilla by the way?"

Tali swayed where she stood, chest tight, breath gone, her entire body stiff as a board as she felt wave after wave of gratitude wash over her, the hour of kindness shown on her washing over her like a tidal wave, released by a Michael smashing the dam. Her reply was a choked gasp: "I...won't leave..." A shuddering breath and she managed to steady herself. "...told you...galaxy and many lives at stake...what kind of Quarian would _leave_?"_I__ could never_...

And Michael's stance was full of relief. "Thank you, I'm glad." And he _meant_ it.

It was too much.

The gifts showered over her, the party for her, the kindness...and finally _Michael_...willing to help the seventeen _million_ Quarians in the Flotilla at her call due to her little bit of help..._everything_.

It was _too_ _much_.

A cough escaped her, only for her to realise it was a sob, her lips drawing into a wide grin even as she looked down at her feet. "Keelah I..." Another little sob, happiness permeating her every _fibre_. "..._thank_ _you_...I..." A whimper: "I..don't..." She moved her hand up in the gesture she'd seen on so many humans...only for her finger to hit glass as she tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks...it only drew another sob out of her even as she closed her eyes, enjoying the drops on her face as they trickled down.

"Oh...I..." Michael hesitated for a brief moment, then he was close...her visor pressing up against his chest as muscled arms came around her shoulders. The hesitation in his voice turned to a little laugh: "I sure hope you're _happy_ right now..."

Tali held her hands close to her body, afraid to touch the man suddenly so close, her body shaking as he held her...and managed a tiny little nod: "Yes..._too_ happy...Keelah...I'm a mess..."

"Would it help if I shook you around for a bit?"

Tali laughed, unable to help it, snivelling loudly as she felt her self-control slowly return. "Try it and I'll hack your reader..."

A chuckle, rumbling against her body and making her blush as she realised how close she was to him. "Still feisty eh? Good that there's some fight left in you."

"You have no idea..." Tali breathed, forcing her hand to push up against Michael's chest, freeing her from the embarrassing hug even as she drew another shuddering breath. "...I'm okay now...sorry..." And another breath. "...Keelah I'm ridiculous..."

"At least you can get away with it." Ashley suddenly whispered in her ear.

Tali spun in fright...and found Ashley grinning at her even as she glanced up at Michael: "Great, turn her into a wreck will you? She's a fragile girl Michael."

"Duly noted." Michael replied with a sigh, no doubt rolling his eyes at the marine.

Relief...Tali sighed with it as she realised Ashley hadn't caught onto her shame...and felt the happiness return: "Hey there, I still haven't properly thanked-"

"No time." Ashley interrupted with a chuckle, moving to place herself on Tali's left side and pressing the Quarian against Michael's side as the others suddenly trotted up to them, Chakwas carrying a small cylinder of black steel...that she suddenly raised as the others hurried up besides them with small chuckles.

"Say cheese!"

A flash.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for not dissolving into a puddle over this chapter. ;-)_


	30. Chapter 30

"Something is wrong."

Garrus' words were low, nearly hissed, as the Turian watched the growing planet through the wind shield of the cockpit. Michael's gaze lingered on the man that was his second in command in all but name.

_The killing of the doctor worked_. Michael's mind rebelled a little at the memory of the mutilated people attacking him, but he suppressed the image quickly, focusing on the important part. _Doctor dead, Garrus once more focused on mission, in fact, more devoted then before, complete success_. As always there was a sense of relief with the thought...but also a hint of sadness as he watched Garrus single-minded gaze focused on the battle ahead. _Shouldn't become like me_...

A shake of his head...and the thought was gone. _Still jarred from emotional breakdown, need time to recover, fighting preferably_._ That will disarm dangerous side-effect of caring_. _Caring required to inspire me to make an extra effort, but must not impede effectivity_. He shot Garrus another glance. That was largely why he, and not Kaidan, was the second in command. Kaidan first of all fought too much by the book, but the Geth knew the book...as such Garrus with his sense of timing and ability to improvise on the spot was a safer option.

Secondly, and more importantly, Kaidan was obviously not the one to make the difficult decisions – he _cared_ too much – which Garrus without a doubt _was_. Though Michael felt his gut wrench together in an instinctive rebellion at the thought...he _would_ make the decisions that would get people killed...and keep going. In that he and Garrus were alike, and therefore Garrus was the better option over Kaidan.

_Unhelpful thoughts, distracting, dangerous, refocus_.

He looked back to the view outside, embracing the impending battle, the simplicity... _Three Geth cruisers in orbit, readings suggesting others having made landing, also suggesting diminishing battle_... "Agreed."

"Well I don't know..." Joker said, sounding as innocent as only he could do, the pilot shooting Garrus a smirk: "...maybe they often have Geth visitors down there? For tea? You never know."

The Turian glanced down at the pilot, mandibles clicking together in irritation, but didn't say anything.

Silence.

Then Joker shaking his head with a sigh as he returned to guiding the Normandy on minimal thrusters as they stealthily snuck closer.

"Clearly there's fighting down there." Garrus growled, the Turian's fingers twitching. "Yet we are getting no distress call..."

"Likely a surprise attack." Michael looked down at his reader, the holographic projection upon it changing swiftly as more and more data from Normandy's sensors streamed in. "The Geth are holding the central tower of the colony, communications cut. Three Geth cruisers in orbit, four attached to the central tower, the security forces of the Exogeni researches can't have stood much chance."

"That's a bit much for the Normandy." Garrus muttered.

"Hey!" Joker snorted, sounding hurt, despite the pilot obviously knowing Garrus was right even as he mumbled to his controls: "Don't worry, baby, I know your guns are bigger then theirs..."

"We'll go in silent." Michael replied, ignoring the pilot momentarily as he checked Garrus for the nod of agreement he knew would come. Then he turned back to Joker: "Joker, I want our warning sent to the alliance about Geth activity on Feros upgraded to a distress call, priority two."

"You sure?" Joker glanced back, eyebrow arched. "Sending it might tip off the Geth, and then we'd have to run for it."

_Distance two thousand clicks, Geth sensors widely spaced outwards, standard distance for undetected point-message a hundred and eighty clicks, Normandy's not standard vessel however_..._ Chances of detection_..._roughly thirty five percent. If detected mission will be delayed, potential loss of data needed for continued pursuit, if not we will drive the Geth out when the rest of alliance arrives, saving civilians and potentially foiling them. If captured during drop Alliance vessels could also recover survivors among us_..._risk_..._acceptable_.

"Do it."

"Okay..." Joker turned back to the controls, hands swift and sure as they darted over the controls. "..._aaaand_ sent..." He checked a screen on the right. "...and _nooo_ Geth activity registered." He shot a grin back: "Am I a good or am I good?"

Michael shot a grin and a nod back, adding the sarcasm Joker loved to his voice: "There's no _words_ for your skill." _Distress call sent, Alliance response will take time however, engaging in investigation of Geth targets imperative, deployment required_. "Take us in, nice and smooth, radio silence from now on, try to find a landing zone."

"Done and done." Joker chuckled. "They have a colony there called Zhu's hope, a few skirmishes there but the Geth don't seem to pay it much mind, got a landing platform and people that might know stuff though...sounds good?"

Michael, his reader already feeding him all the information plus more then what Joker was sprouting, nodded. "Perfect, excellent work."

"I thought you said there were no words..." Joker sniffed, looking decidedly _unhurt_.

Michael ignored the joke, nodding to himself as he looked at the information of the layout and specifics about Zhu's hope scrolling before him on the reader. _Three hundred inhabitants, struggling but growing, supported by Exogeni, map layout may explain them holding out, three bottlenecks_... He frowned. _T'soni still injured from Geth bunker, Urdnot's armour and spare set too damaged for him to participate, will have to make do with the others._ _Williams will have to take point instead of Urdnot_...

Williams.

The name made him tense up, conflict digging into him like a blade.

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

The words rang hollow in his skull.

Ever since their hand to hand duel...Michael had simply aimed for a long fight to strengthen the spirits of the crew...he hadn't expected such an opposition. It hadn't been Ashley's skill, not _really_, he'd read her file after all, he had been prepared. He hadn't counted on the _passion _though...the way she had _thrown_ herself into the fight...it had taken him off guard...and _kept_ him off guard as he had slowly felt something dormant, something _forbidden_, awaken.

And her _scent_ when up close...he _could_ control his eyes, his movement, his behaviour to her, how close he would be, but he _couldn't _control the effect of the smell of her when up close...

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

It was not simple desire though, such a thing he could have sweated out during his workouts...punching a sandbag until all energy was drained.

_No_, it was the desire mixed with _caring_.

She had spoken with such passion, such _love_, about her sisters, about her _family_. About something Michael had only had a _bitter_ taste of, _knowing_ that it could have been sweet...

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

She was so _passionate_ about her job, willing to do _anything_ to get the job done, like him. Yet she allowed _poetry_ into her life...she allowed herself to _have_ a life.

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

She had the great hurdle of her grandfather's decision weighing down her entire career, yet it had not broken her, only made her more defiant, more _dedicated_. Like him long ago...yet nobler in purpose, truer in spirit.

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

She _had_ discipline, yet still allowed her passion to shine though, allowed herself to be human both on and off the field.

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

_Everything_ about her Michael had made himself care for, _everything_ were things he could find a liking to, everything were things he _desired_.

_Dangerous, evade, avoid_.

As such he was relieved that Kaidan seemed to be slowly wooing Ashley, fraternization or not...with such a bomb defused Michael would be able to ignore that volatile factor on his ship. Not that there weren't _moments_ when he felt...anger...towards Kaidan...a _ridiculous_ territorial instinct within Michael rebelling against the recent events... But he _knew_ things would be better if Ashley was finally drawn away from him and looked elsewhere to put her affection...

But it would be so simple...so _easy_ to get it. He _knew_ of her want...he could have her in a _moment_...could have it _all_, her family would take him in with open arms, accept him as part of the family...and he would be loved. The entire family was full of the same passion as her, they could teach him, they could make him _whole_ again...

Whole and _weak_.

He shook it off. _Weakness not permitted, focus on mission, mission imperative, mission vital, mission __everything_. _Caring is to heighten motivation, too much caring endangers mission_..._unacceptable__, mission takes priority_. _Too much caring leads to distraction, distraction endangers mission, endangers team, endangers lives_. _Unacceptable, there must be no losses, no __failure_.

Ashley was _temptation_ made _flesh_, dangling so close to him, ripe and ready...and a _poison_.

He could _not_ let it ruin everything, could _not_ allow himself to falter, to _fail_.

So he avoided her, he held her at bay...even as he nurtured what he knew of her, kept the caring needed to ensure his motivation stayed strong even as he retreated from the power of it...a dangerous dance with himself.

He was _used_ to fighting with his own mind though, _Ashley_ however...was a random force. If she _pushed_ things...Michael nearly shuddered at the thought.

Then he realised Garrus was looking at him expectantly, brow-plate raised in question, and that he had been standing quietly for a good while. He shook himself free of the spell. _Jarred from emotional breakdown, recover, refocus_. "Garrus, you check for any changes during our descent, I'll prep the ground team."

He turned...

….and nearly stumbled over Tali, not even having been aware of the Quarian being there.

"Tali?" He smiled at her, surprised, but not unpleasantly so. "What are you doing here?"

Tali was the opposite of Ashley in that he didn't find her the _least_ dangerous to him, yet she too was easy to care about, _easier_ even...

Her dedication seemed to come out of nowhere. She cared for her people, body and soul, would die for them without a second thought...and couldn't even _imagine_ another way, just like him... Though _her_ dedication hadn't been born out of fire and blood, it was _right, admirable_..._pure_.

She was loyal to the Quarians to a fault, her hatred of the Geth almost in her blood, useful...and surprising given her normally flexible intellect capable of understanding others. That understanding _was_ a danger...but Michael had found himself unable to fear it as it was so much a part of Tali's dedication to her friends as it was part of what made her...easy to talk to.

Her help keeping the ship running was arguably the most useful of anyone on the _ship_...and she did it out of simple need to make herself useful...taking a load off Michael's already strained schedule without asking for even the _tiniest_ of reward or even _appreciation_...

But she wasn't a pushover, she didn't accept _anyone_ talking down to her or her people... For such a small creature...in many ways frail and incapable of putting up a fight like Ashley or Wrex...she was surprisingly spunky, refusing to back down, no matter the odds. Michael could identify himself in that...and appreciate it for the power inherited in such an attitude.

Her suit was always a hindrance...he could see it when she ate, when she drank, when she had cried and tried to wipe the tears away... Yet it didn't seem to wear her down, she bore it like one should carry a burden, proudly and without complaint. If it hurt her, or made her feel different and ostracised...she kept such thoughts for herself. To keep ones doubts and fears within...Michael understood it, and respected it even as it drew sympathy and care for her out of him.

She had spoken of her father, and Michael had heard the pain of a distant figure, never quite there...and remembered his mother. _She_ too had always been distant, not with _duty_ but with _drugs_...and she _too_ had died in a sickness, like _Tali's_ mother. It was _easy_ to relate, they were so much a part of the community they served, yet without a single close bond of blood...

And everything she _did_ had a certain _flair_ about it, her work on the Normandy was a mix of perfect work and improvisations actually _improving_ the ship...which she effortlessly mixed. Her dexterous fingers showing a disciplined – but none the less expressed – _joy_ with her work...she _constantly_ worked...because she enjoyed it, because she _demanded_ it of herself...and because she couldn't imagine anything else.

Just like Michael.

In contrast to Ashley, Tali actually felt _fear_ during battles, Michael had _seen_ it, even had her _confess_ it once on the ship...yet she came with them none the less, _never_ backing down or hesitating from yet another drop that might be her death.

And she didn't have to do _any_ of it.

_Selfless_, like he strove to be with each breath, but _purer_, more _righteous_...They might call _him_ the hero...but Michael knew better, Tali was _ten_ times the hero he might have been if everything wasn't but an illusion...

And she _still_ managed to be cute doing _all_ of it...

Yes, caring for her was easy, and Michael felt his shoulders drop in relaxation at the sight of her. So easy to care for...he embraced it all, kept it to drive himself forward, knowing – in contrast to the desirable Ashley – that with _her_ there wouldn't _be_ any danger.

"Oh I..." Tali warbled awkwardly, holding her hands close to her lap as she stood there, resting her weight on the balls of her feet as she looked left and right, then over to the view before them. "...just wanted to see the approach, see if I could help, don't know much about Geth cruisers though..."

Michael smiled, nodding. "Do you _ever_ take a break?"

The Quarian's head tilted back as she looked up at him, arms moving up to cross over her chest: "Do _you_?"

A chuckle escaped Michael even as he offered her another nod, admitting her point. _This wins us five minutes, exploit_. "Tali, could you go into the cargo hold and tell Ashley to prepare the ground team for disembarking? Tell her I want the drop to be fast and smooth. That way I can go and check the tactical layout of the Exogeni facility."

The Quarian nodded quickly, hands dropping as she nearly jumped. "Of course Michael, you can count on me." She smoothly turned and begun to jog for the elevator leading to the cargo hold as Michael smiled after her in appreciation.

She was uncomplicated...and he _needed_ that right now. _Should keep her close, will facilitate recovering from emotional breakdown_.

He turned his gaze back to his reader, relieved knowing he could trust _some_ of his relationships with the ground team to not be complicated...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for enduring this one._


	31. Chapter 31

Their advance was inexorable.

The highway, a wide and long path of some grey material the Protheans had used was high above the white fog that seemed to cover the planet, unsupported by pillars yet unmoving against the winds that must have been beating down on it for _millions_ of years. Yet _now_ there were holes in it, craters from explosions having dug into it and at places even punching holes through it.

To Michael's right a tank from the colony's defence-force lay in two shorn halves, fire raging in the great rift, a corpse having fallen out of the front part was now but a blackened skeleton still sizzling as the fire consumed it. To his left the smashed remains of a Geth barricade lay, two Geth troopers lying among the rubble, one breaking apart with a crunch under the uncaring wheels of the rolling Mako.

Everywhere the signs of the combat that had raged perhaps a few hours ago, along with that of their slow advance, lay.

A few scattered dead lay here and there, many obviously having fallen while running, some still clutching their weapons, others luggage or even white flags...and some too torn apart or burnt to tell.

Two Geth Armatures lay in broken heaps ahead, the Mako's main gun having ripped them open, smoke lazily drifting from their opened hulls. Another barricade ahead was broken apart too by a grenade from the Mako, the Geth troopers around it laying face up, bodies opened by high-calibre shots from the infantry's sniper rifles.

It was a scene that had been repeated for a near mile now.

And Michael felt himself tense with each step on the road. _Stalling skirmishes, no Geth massing for a serious attack_. He glanced up, seeing the main tower and base of operation for the Exogeni colony grow closer._ They must hit us soon or lose an advantage, indoors we can bottleneck them, yet no attack_... "Tali'Zorah? Anything?"

His comm instantly beeped as the Quarian inside the Mako just behind and to his left pivoted the turret left and right. "Nothing Shepard, no hostiles inbound."

With Liara still injured from the attack on the Geth base, and Wrex still in the cargo hold working feverishly to fix his armour, the group had diminished somewhat in strength. Michael had therefore found it necessary to bring the Mako with them, despite the attention it could bring. Not only that but with Wrex too exposed without armour Michael had been forced to have _Tali_ as the gunner...which had gone _surprisingly_ well so far...though he would have preferred her on foot where she could use her omni-tool and scanner more extensively.

Their column was as efficient as he could make it though. With Tali at the guns and Kaidan driving the Mako was slowly rolling behind the three at the front, a heavy support under which bulk the infantry could hide if need be. Meanwhile he, Ashley and Garrus all had their sniper rifles out, Ashley up front with Michael at her right and Garrus on her left, both a few paces behind so as to not get caught in any blasts from enemy fire.

Drone.

Michael moved his scope to zoom in on the lone piece of movement far ahead and to their right...a thump against his shoulder and the whizzing head-sized Geth exploded into sparks and pieces of broken machinery.

"Nice shot." Garrus mumbled, making Michael realise that the Turian had inched a little closer, the man's mandibles low as a blue tongue came out over his sharp teeth, eyes worried even as he continued to scan the horizon. "Commander, something isn't right."

A snort came out loud, Ashley's head shaking even as she continued her rigid advance, rifle raised: "If you keep saying that I will take this rifle and bash you over the head with it..."

A small chuckle escaped Garrus, and to Michael's frustration, him too. _Dangerous, evade, avoid_..._focus_! He embraced Garrus' words, hoping they would ease him back into the mission where he belonged: "The Geth aren't attacking despite the numbers they _must_ be able to throw at us, it's almost as if they're retreating even."

"Agreed." Michael nodded, teeth gritted. _Primary objective to secure data about Geth and Saren's movements and location, secondary survivors. Primary objective in danger of failure_... "They are retreating, their mission complete."

"But _what_ mission?" Garrus snorted. "This is nothing but a ball of rock and ruins, nothing of importance..." A low growl, the Turian's head turning to look back from where they came from, eyes narrowing in suspicion at the distant tower where the Exogeni director and his remaining staff had hid away. "...that we _know_ of."

"This _is_ a Prothean world..." Ashley replied with another snort, the human shaking her head a little...only to stiffen as her rifle moved to the left...and thumped against her shoulder, sending a hazy outline of a Geth sniper flying over the edge of the highway and falling down towards the distant clouds. "...maybe there's something about the Reapers here?"

_Reapers_...Michael shook his head violently, pushing the impending vision aside with a force of will. "The Geth are massed at Exogeni headquarters, we will find out what they're after there."

"Yes..." Garrus shook his head, the Turian once more shooting a glance backwards. "...about that, didn't that Exogeni man seem a bit..._reluctant_ for us to go there and clear out _his_ tower?"

"He did." Michael agreed, remembering all too well how the little man with his small moustache had flailed about in near panic only _after_ Michael had told him his intentions to continue on, _with_ or _without_ the guards the man had left bunkering up in the broken down garage.

"Not to mention that he didn't want to go back to Zhu's hope where it would be safer..." Garrus added with a murmur, had coming up to scratch his brow-plate.

"_Jeez_ you're paranoid..." Ashley sighed, the marine's rifle constantly scanning left and right for foes even as she listened in, knowing by now that Michael allowed opinions to be shared freely during missions so as to make sure no single officer missed something important. "...not _everyone_ can be soldiers you know, he obviously doesn't dare moving over the open even after we cleared the path." A small scoff: "_Civs_..."

Michael shook his head, shooting Garrus a look: "Agreed Vakarian, we do not have all the data, their actions are nonsensical so far. Zhu's Hope's in particular."

With three bottlenecks and the Geth largely ignoring the colony Michael had expected perhaps three dozen dead among the three hundred colonists...instead it had only been that many _survivors _left, the rest were gone, taken by the Geth according to the survivors.

Survivors that had acted..._strangely_. Only Fai Dan, their leader, had been coherent enough to ask for help with the water and food for the few survivors of the colony, and to tell of the repeated Geth attacks that had killed so many of them. _They had enough guards at the bottleneck to hold the Geth, why so many losses_?

The rest had been walking or standing around as if in a stupor...only acknowledging the group when approached but otherwise ignoring them and the rescue they represented. Normally people would have been rushing at the group asking for help and thanking them...but not these ones, they had instead seemed oddly..._calm_...docile even.

_Shell-shock_?_ No, too widespread, symptoms not matching well enough_. _Note – further contact is to be performed with caution_.

"We should be careful." Garrus echoed Michael's thoughts with a mutter, the Turian's mandibles twitching along with his hands, eyes narrowed at the tower now near them.

Michael nodded, head craning to look at the tower properly.

It was _large_. A peak rising high above the clouds below even _before_ rising further, nearly touching the end of the planet's atmosphere for all Michael knew. Its black surface was criss-crossed by grey beams, making it look like a blackened tree covered in cobwebs. A tree that at places had been rent open with great gaps, it was a tribute to Prothean engineering that it hadn't collapsed with such damages wrought upon it. Not to mention the four large Geth cruisers attached to its side like giant purple fungus...

There were no lights upon it though, not from any window or holes, or from Geth troops looking down at them.

It was still.

_Geth forces likely within, likely also retreating to their ships, have to hurry_. _Door five hundred meters away, once inside we will be safer_ _from snipers or aerial assaults_...

As if reading his mind Ashley spoke up, her rifle waving forward. "There's the gate..." The large grey doors were probably large enough for the Normandy to fly through. Yet were only opened wide enough for the Mako currently, the pockmarked surface of them bent at the edges from some great blow, most likely having made them inoperable. "...should we make a run for it?"

Michael nodded, looking to her to reply...only to find his words failing as he watched her ready gait as she continued her advance, her stiff shoulders as she continued to aim while walking, the way her hips somehow managed a slight sway _despite_ the way she was advancing...

_Danger_!

He looked away, a spike of anger shooting through him before he put a lid on it._Mission__ a priority, mission, mission, __mission_! A shake of his head. _Shouldn't have let her take point_... And _another_ shake. _No, mission takes priority, she __should__ be on point, __discipline__ failing, __not__ choice, __focus_!

Garrus' voice, expectantly: "Commander?"

_Failure_ _unacceptable_. Michael's eyes narrowed and he glared over at the doors ahead, body tensing as it felt his disapproval of himself burn him...and his voice was but a growl: "Agreed, Mako continue advance and watch the tower, infantry...double time!"

And then he was running, brushing past Ashley as he holstered his sniper rifle, eyes taking in the lack of cover ahead with a snarl.

Movement.

Michael's hand darted down...and then he had his pistol in hand and fired...and the Geth swinging forth from the cover offered by the massive door fell, its neck opened by thrice impacts.

"Moving!" Ashley's voice was a distant thing as another Geth appeared in the doorway...only to fall with its leg torn off as a sniper round took it in the knee.

It tried to get up, looking up at them...and Michael's pistol barked...shattering its eye.

Movement.

Jumping to the right even as he continued to run full pelt Michael felt the shots from the Geth trooper in the entrance narrowly whiz past his left...as his pistol once more barked.

The Geth's fire slackened, its left shoulder pulling back with the impact of the hit...and then Michael's hand closing around its right arm and pulled it out of its cover...right into a the butt of his pistol.

A shower of glass over his face...and the machine bounced off his chest and fell in a heap by his feet even as he with quick looks left and right checked the interior within the doors for more foes. A second later he coldly called out: "Clear."_ Sentries, they know we have reached the tower_.

"Aren't _I_ supposed to be the one running full pelt into enemy fire?" Ashley chuckled as she came up to him, the woman gasping ever so slightly for air as she leant against the door to rest from her run, her chest heaving...

Michael looked away from her, grip tightening on his pistol. "Tactical rush needed, nothing more."

"Right..." Garrus grumbled, the Turian too breathing a bit heavier as he with a pistol in hand stepped through the doors, he too checking the interior. "...normally all _three_ do that though."

_Correct_. "Apologies, was no time, spotted enemy movement." Michael lied, back stiff as he kept looking away from Ashley...and advanced into the tower, all too aware that she was following.

They were in what might have once been a garage, the large open space suggesting it, though much of it now being covered in rubble and fallen pillars. A pile of dead humans lay in a corner, but other then that there were no signs of Geth activity, the room largely dark with failed lights. Far ahead there was one light however...showing a single door laying in pieces by the foot of a broken doorway.

"Alenko, take the Mako in and have you and Tali'Zorah dismount."

"Roger that, Commander."

Michael eyed the entrance intently as he heard the Mako come to a stop behind him and those within clambering out. Drawing his assault rifle he took a step forward, the others falling in behind him. "We're going in."

And then he heard a voice, _familiar_, rough, _dangerous_: "Commander Shepard..."

His gaze moved up, towards a balcony above he hadn't spotted, his body tensing at the sight.

"Saren..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for saving this one._


	32. Chapter 32

"Saren."

Garrus' low growl did _no_ justice to the hatred suddenly burning through Ashley's body.

The treacherous monster, the ally of the Geth, the hater of humans, the instigator of Eden Prime, the _snake_!

_There_!

She was to Michael's left, Garrus on his right...and she felt them _both_ raise their weapons, as one...only for both weapons to be pushed further up by Michael's hands, ruining their aim.

_What the_...! She shot Michael a glare, only to find the Commander's gaze glued to the Turian upon the balcony far above the entrance they had a moment ago been about to enter. He looked...surprisingly collected, eyes only slightly narrowed, stance nearly relaxed. His voice, so familiar and calm, held no emotions: "Saren Arterius, you have been declared a traitor by the Council and are hereby under arrest."

A scoff escaped the Turian...and Ashley found her eyes drawn to the loathsome sight.

Saren was tall for a Turian, meaning that even without the aid of the balcony he would still have been a near two inches taller then Michael. He was also surprisingly broad across the chest and shoulders for a Turian, while still maintaining the predatory shape they had...Ashley couldn't help but think that if Garrus was a panther then Saren was a _lion_...

He also lacked any markings on his face, something Garrus had claimed to be something of a tradition among them – not that Ashley had listened all that well – and instead sported the regular Turian scaly face...with a strangely metallic sheen to it. _Never seen a Turian in __that__ colour_... His strange coloured scales combined with the tubes and wires from his grey armour and coming up to the back of his neck and behind his fringed skull made him look vaguely mechanical.

Even his _eyes_ were a hard grey, like the irises had turned to steel, hardened by a soul _bereft_ of any kindness, a soul whose darkness seemed to _glow_ from the dark blue pupils of the monster looking down at them.

She has seen pictures of him, yet none had managed to capture the..._malevolence_ of him.

The monster shook his head, teeth bared in a small smile, voice surprisingly soft and melancholy: "Traitor? Those small minded fools of the Council have no right to judge _anything_ I've done..."His smile faded, gone as fast as it had appeared, brow-plate knitting in irritation. "Take you for instance, a Spectre now? It only shows how desperate the Council is...I've read your file Shepard, I was _not_ impressed, you're a failure of a Commander and have no understanding of what makes a proper Spectre."

Ashley felt her fists tighten around her assault rifle, yet a quick glance showed that Michael looked as calm and emotionless as ever, perhaps even more so then normally: "Found _you_."

"Ah yes, _true_." A small scoff as Saren leant against the pitted and scorched railing of his balcony: "You are a very lucky human, but it's just as at Eden Prime, _just_ too late to actually _do_ anything. I have what I came for and will be leaving now...and _this_ time you will not come after me."

Michael's head was cocked a fraction of an inch, the man regarding Saren coolly: "You intend to leave and bombard us from orbit."

"How astute." Saren's mandibles clicked together. "The human has a brain."

"Come down and fight us you coward!" Ashley's words were roared out, anger searing her blood, coming out with each word like a blow.

Saren's gaze turned to her...and she felt her anger wilting at the _hatred_ in those eyes, not of her, not of Shepard or the situation, just..._hatred_...a dark sun within him _glowing_ with it, threatening to burst forth.

A moment later Michael spoke up, drawing Saren's gaze...and Ashley shamefully felt her shoulder slump in relief even as Michael's words came out like crystal: "The Alliance has been notified and you have only seven cruisers at your disposal, you do not have enough time nor firepower to destroy us from orbit."

Once more Saren's mandibles clicked together, this time _staying_ together as his eyes narrowed at Shepard...

Silence.

Then a wolfish smile as the Turian leant back. "Ah, clever, so now we stand here like snarling Varren, each unable to destroy the other." A slight cock of his head. "Well...I _could_ destroy you, but I am unwilling to waste the time, I'm on a timetable."

A small growl escaped Garrus, the Turian taking a step forth...only to stop as Michael put a hand on his chest, the human's voice calm: "False, engagement too risky for you, you do not take risks with your personal safety so foolishly."

Again, silence, Saren eyeing Michael with...a frown.

And Michael's eyes narrowed: "I _too_, have read _your_ file."

Saren's right claw twitched on the railing...then his eyes narrowed: "A clever little pet of the Council it seems...but it will do you no good." There was a dark smirk at the edge of his mouth: "You _know_ don't you...?" Voice dark with foreboding. "The Council holds us back, too concerned with their narrow view of the galaxy, unable to _comprehend_ how close the galaxy is to _anarchy_..."

Michael...hesitated.

His head tilted down, gaze vacant, brows knitting...and Ashley felt her chest tighten in worry. _Sure, there's a lot of problem but not_..._I_..._no_ _that_ _can't_ _be_ _right_...

"If you've read my file you must know, if you've hunted me here in the Terminus systems you _must_ know..." Saren continued, leaning forward now as he growled the word: "The Council is weak because the _galaxy_ is weak, rife with _infighting_. And even _united_ we _cannot_ stand against them."

Michael's head shot up, voice clear: "Unacceptable, we _can_."

"Ha!" Saren's laugh was but a dutiful explosion of air, dry as a desert. "Spoken like a true idealist." A short shake of his head, voice sombre: "You have not seen the destruction I have seen in my many years, not seen the _despair_...and knowing just how _pitiful_ it is compared to what the Reapers will bring."

"Then why try to bring them back!" Kaidan called out, flint in his tone...and Ashley felt a little spike of pride.

But Saren didn't seem to hear him, eyes focused solely on Michael as the man looked back up, a distant look of pain in his eyes. Saren's tone was dark, yet held a strange _softness_ to it as he in a low tone continued: "And you _have_ seen them...haven't you? Felt their pincers around your brain...their utter _power_ envelope you as they descend upon not just your _galaxy_..."

Michael visibly flinched.

"Nor your planet..."

Eyes narrowed.

"Not even your body..."

Jaw clenching tight.

"But your very _soul_..."

Silence.

Ashley felt a cold shiver move through her at the words, words sounding so much like a dark prophesy of a future set in stone...

"I have." Michael's voice was low, reluctant, nodding slowly even as he continued to gaze into Saren's eyes.

Ashley shuddered, looking at him, feeling..._small_.

_This is too big for a lowly grunt_...

Michael's next words only seemed to confirm it, yet _still_ sent a jolt of energy through her: "And you're wrong." Michael's eyes were hard, cold ice meeting Saren's steel: "I have read your file Saren, you if _anyone_ should know what one person can do..."

"You foolish...!" Saren's fingers tightened into the railing, claws digging into steel even as his fangs were bared into a snarl: "No one man can stop them! Nor a galaxy _full_ of them!" A violent shake of his head as he closed his eyes tightly, his next words came out low and weary: "You are like the rest, another hapless fool thinking the galaxy will improve...can be _saved_..."

"It-"

"I will not waste more time with you." Saren snarled, releasing a dented railing with a shove. "You are a fool to resist Shepard, but what can one expect from a _human_?" Another snarl, the monster turning. "You have no chance, I'll leave a Geth cruiser full of my minions here to deal with you...see it as a mercy..." Walking away, voice growing distant as he faded into the shadows: "...for you will _not_ want to survive until the coming of the Reapers..."

Ashley found herself exhaling a breath she didn't know she'd held.

Around her she heard the others do the same.

All but one.

Michael.

The man had taken a step forward, head turned upwards, gaze still fixed on the balcony where Saren had stood, fists clenched to his sides.

She _had_ to say it, if not but to break the spell of silence having descended upon them: "Commander?"

The back facing her stiffened, but he said nothing.

Then Garrus' voice, a low whisper: "Orders?"

The man turned his head, the scar over his right eye white against the shadows cast over his face.

His eyes pools of icy fire.

"Follow me."

He moved, _ran_.

And they followed.

8

8

8

Breathe.

The clatter of many feet against stone stairwells.

Breathe.

Running hard, armoured boots clacking against the steps.

Breathe.

Gasping mouth, like a great bellow, echoing through the stair-house.

Breathe.

Their lungs on fire.

Ashley knew herself, she knew she was in _top_ shape...yet even _she_ was struggling with the pace Michael had set in his pursuit of Saren. A glance back told her that Tali was beginning to lag behind, only Kaidan a step behind the Quarian, keeping her going as he pushed a supporting hand against her lower back. Ahead Garrus was keeping the pace, the Turian's shoulders rocking back and forth like pistons as he the panting Turian with long strides stayed two steps behind a Michael that showed no sign of slowing down as he bounded up three steps in a time.

How many steps they had already covered Ashley didn't even want to think about.

_I_..._God_ _I'll_ _throw_ _up_ _soon_... Ashley lowered her head and stared at her rapidly moving legs with eyes watering with effort even as her thighs began to burn as badly as her rapidly working lungs were. _If we keep this up_..._how will we even be able to __fight_!

Another stuttering sound of a Geth sentry...and Ashley looked up in time to see Michael crash shoulders first against the midsection of the surprised Geth trooper guarding an open doorway. The force of the tackle lifted the machine off its feet...before it was cleaved from bottom to top to the boom of Shepard's shotgun levelled at its crotch. Parts of its insides poured out of its shorn halves, showering the man charging through it and coming down upon the following team even as they burst through the doorway.

Geth!

Ashley, ignoring her burning lungs and legs, _threw_ herself against a Geth appearing right before her.

Knocking its back into a wall with her rifle before driving her knee into its right hip, bending the Geth with the force of the blow...and then twisting her rifle with the move to smash the butt of her rifle into its face, shattering the eye and sending it to the floor with a dying stutter.

A turn of her head...and she saw half a dozen fallen Geth, the machines having been taken out in a brutal close encounter, bodies smashed by Michael and Garrus, the two a storm ahead as they vaulted a low wall crossing the long room and tore into two Geth snipers that had been too slow to react.

The room was rectangular and long, the group having entered at one of the short ends, just a few steps ahead of Ashley the low wall that Michael and Garrus had vaulted went across it, opening into a large space to the next low wall over by the other end...where at least a dozen Geth were already moving to crouch behind it, weapons firing. Just behind the Geth a large computer, to which several thick cables were connected, glowed.

Ashley couldn't help but follow where the cable went with her eyes however...and realised it hugged the wall to the left – a wall on each end of the room perforated by great black claws – as it went towards the centre of the room...before disappearing into a great hole in the wall from where a few rays of daylight glowed...and a short purple bridge leading into a darkness that could only be the interior of a Geth cruiser.

A hazy red line swayed over her visor...and Ashley gasped as she found herself staring into the scope of a Geth sniper on the other end of the room.

_God_-

A thump of dark blue energy...and the shot went wide as the Geth was lifted off its feet and lazily drifted over the wall it had taken cover behind...only to crash back down as a shotgun blast struck it square in the chest.

Turning her head she saw Tali and Kaidan stumble towards the cover, both breathing heavily even as Tali pumped a smoking shotgun and Kaidan's glow of biotic power faded away.

There was no time for thanks however, instead Ashley swirled round to give covering fire to Michael and Garrus' mad charge...only to see Michael push the Turian prone as his own shields flared with multiple impacts...as his hand darted to his bandoleer...and threw.

A moment later Michael's shields failed with a flash, a flash momentarily hiding him dropping prone, making the Geth's shots hit nothing but air.

Geth's, whose heads were turning to follow the black sphere dropping in right among them...

A boom, the _world_ shaking, Ashley shielding her eyes with her arm...and then low, insistent_ beep_.

Lowering her arm she found the Geth broken, the ones nearest to the grenade nothing but tiny slices of armour and smashed innards, those further out stumbling away, clutching smashed chests and torn necks...

A moment later Ashley's hearing returned.

And the stutters of dying Geth were a near _screeching_ even as the machines faltered and fell.

Michael's voice was cold, calm, even as he rose to his feet, the dust around him nothing as he slammed his shotgun against his lower back and drew his assault rifle. "Vakarian, explosives on first claw, Alenko, second, Tali'Zorah get on that computer and hack the Geth network, Williams, guard the rear."

Ashley moved, shoulder thumping against the wall as she took aim down into the stair-house they had left, her assault rifle jerking against her shoulder as a Geth Hopper jumping into sight was blasted apart. _Nice_ _call_.

Shooting a glance back she saw Kaidan and Garrus each having moved to one of the claws that had been smashed through the wall, freeing explosives from the hidden pockets in their armours and moving to attach them to the blackened things. Tali was at the far end of the room, fingers flowing with the dexterity of her kind as they moved over the holographic keys of the computer...

And Michael was between the two claws, by the entrance to the Geth cruiser. He had dragged the two smashed Geth snipers upon one another before the bridge the cruiser had deployed...and now crouched on one knee behind his improvised cover, eyes narrowed at the doorway, assault rifle levelled.

_Is he actually going to_...

The levelled rifle barked...and something within the cruiser fell with a familiar electronic stutter.

She glanced at the stair-house, nothing there, the Geth gone, then back to Michael. Hesitating. "I should..."

"Stay in position" Michael's voice was calm, as if he was being on a firing range...even as his assault rifle once more fired, this time a longer burst...followed by two crashes of broken machinery.

_God_... Ashley found herself staring, _knowing_ that there were no Geth left, yet unable to leave her position as she watched Michael hold the entrance, the man nothing but focus, precision..._calm_.

His shield flared around his helmet with the impact of a pulse shot, a blue halo of energy...and his rifle jerked with a burst that ended with _another_ stutter of a dying Geth.

_This is just_...

Onwards they came, Michael's shields flaring, the cover in front of him slowly ripped open as shots tore the slain Geth apart...and his own rifle firing faster and faster, each burst answered with the crash of a felled foe.

_It's like it all over again_...

A flash of failing shields, making Michael's black armour shine white for a moment, and he dropped his assault rifle – its barrel glowing red – as he threw another grenade.

_The hero holding the breach_...

A muffled explosion...and Michael's pistol was in both hands, the weapon jerking as he held it and fired. Unfazed, not flinching by the shots whizzing past him or thudding into his armour. Precise, each shot from his pistol answered with the crash of a fallen Geth. Calm, his eyes narrowed to aim, yet revealing not a hint of tension as he eased away shot after shot.

_Against the odds_...

A crash and his cover, too riddled with shots, fell apart. The man didn't even seem to notice it, nor the shot tearing a gouge in his helmet. He only saw the enemy responsible for the hit, _retaliated_, and another Geth dropped into the dust.

_Like in_...

"Charges set! Detonating!" Kaidan called out, interrupting Ashley's staring with the harsh reality.

Twin booms...and she saw the claws in the walls fall apart...and the bridge extended from the Geth cruiser slide away as the entire ship began to drop away from the tower it was attached to.

Stepping forth she watched Michael rise to his feet, levelled pistol firing a single shot, sending the Geth trying to jump out of the falling cruiser's interior back into the hole it came from...and then lowering the smoking gun as the Geth cruiser with a loud creak and a crash fell.

Outside the sun shone brightly...and threw the remaining three Geth cruisers in sharp relief as they banked up towards the sky.

She watched Michael look after the disappearing shapes, the ice in his eyes still flaring with an inner fire...

Then he looked away...and holstered the pistol.

"That was..." Ashley shook her head, breathless and trying to find words as she watched Michael calmly turn and pick up his assault rifle even as his shields came back with a flare. "...just like the Blitz.."

The calm broke, the man's head snapping up to look at her, the ice in the eyes melting into pure fire...and Ashley looked away, shamed for having once more angered him with the mention of that feat, shamed and...a little turned on by the heat of that look.

His voice betrayed nothing of that heat however, only an unbreakable calm: "Tali'Zorah?"

The Quarian shook her head, still looking at the screen of the computer. "Sorry Commander...couldn't stop Saren..."

A shy look from Ashley made her realise that Michael had his back to her, looking at Tali with a cocked head, the man reading the Quarian's stance, _waiting_.

And Tali didn't disappoint, tone smug as she turned: "...but I _did_ find what he was here for..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for going the extra mile for this one._


	33. Chapter 33

Michael was _angry_.

Tali had seen him cold, ready, kind, happy, cheerful, energized...even weak and shaking...and _always_ with that need deep within him that no one else even seemed to register.

But she had _never_ seen him angry.

Even when they had confronted _Saren_ himself there had been a cold..._decisiveness_ in Michael, that _need_ driving him to clamp down on any emotions he might have and focus on his target.

But _now_ he was angry...and Tali found both herself and the others of the team scooting away as the man strode forth.

Ethan Jeong was human, but short and slender enough to be mistaken for a Quarian. His thinning brown hair and moustache did nothing to improve the impression of him being a small man...as had his twitchy behaviour even during the team's _first_ meeting with him told Tali. A man that _shouldn't_ be in charge...

And now that the group was returning towards Zhu's Hope to find that Thorian plant – _what_ Saren could _ever_ want from a plant was beyond Tali – and had stopped along the road to the small group of survivors from the Exogeni tower..._that_ fact became blatantly obvious.

The scientists and a lone custodian had been lined up against a wall, hands over their heads...as the guards under Jeong's command faced them with raised rifles.

Jeong himself was marching back and forth, swinging the pistol in his hand wildly as he shouted at no one in particular: "This _has_ to be done! Exogeni will want a scapegoat! And if you live to tell of the Thorian _I'll_ be the one!" He waved the pistol at one of the elderly scientists, the woman shirking from the trembling weapon. "This is _your_ fault! Why did you check the computers when there was no _need_!" The pistol shook...and them moved up as the man begun his pacing again, head shaking wildly: "All those colonists for _nothing_! Each one will just be another nail in _my_ coffin! It's not _fair_!"

"_Jeong_!" Michael's shout cut through Jeong's ranting with a snap, making Jeong spin round, eyes wide as he took in the Commander purposefully marching up towards him, hands closed into fists at his sides.

"Stay back!" The Exogeni boss stumbled a step back, shaking his head wildly even as the guards uneasily glanced back at Michael and his team, then back at the civilians lined up before them...then to one another in worry.

"You _knew_ of the Thorian." Michael didn't shout this time, instead it was a low growl, the statement turning into a threat as he stalked forth.

"Back!" Jeong's hands both closed around the pistol, and still it shook like crazy. "I'll shoot!"

Michael didn't even draw his own weapon, his shoulders swinging as he strode forth like some unstoppable machine, his whole being projecting..._loathing_. "You _placed_ the colonists _above_ it."

"_Back_!" A shot and Michael's shields flared, making the entire team at his back level their own weapons, yet Tali – and the others as well – found herself unable to fire as she stared at the unfolding scene.

"_You_ killed them." Michael's words went lower, the growl like that of an animal.

Jeong's hands twitched...and Michael's shield once more flared.

"As you're now trying to kill the few left under _your_ charge." The statement came in low, _harsh_...and Jeong twitched at it, sweat pouring down his forehead.

Another bang...another flash of a shield stopping the shot.

"And the _worst_ part..."

Jeong's hands twitched to fire, only for a crack to leave them as Michael gripped a hold of them and _twisted_, driving the gasping man to his knees and wrenching the weapon out of his hands.

And suddenly Jeong was looking down the barrel of his own gun, the sweating man's eyes wide as they stared up at Michael in terror, a Michael whose eyes _blazed_. "...is that you feel no guilt."

"P-please..." Jeong whimpered, the man's left hand clutching his right...whose fingers had been scrapped during the disarmament and bled profusely... "I'll do anything, I...I had orders...I can..."

"This is _your_ doing, _your_ failure..." Michael's growls were so low it was hard to hear him, his left hand gripping the collar of the man's shirt and pulling him closer even as he pressed the barrel of the pistol against Jeong's forehead. "...and you won't even _acknowledge_ it."

_More then two hundred killed by the Thorian_..._sacrificed like animals for testing_... Tali couldn't really _imagine_ it...but the thought of Quarian's being used like that...she felt hatred of her own flare up, making her grip on her shotgun tighten as she understood just a fraction of what Michael might feel.

_Yet not_... Tali cocked her head to the side, despite the tense situation and Michael looking so..._frightening_...it was still somewhat fascinating. Michael didn't know any of the colonists, and during the team's briefing before the mission Michael had stressed that looking for survivors was the _secondary_ objective...yet now he was angry, for the first time..._ever_ since she'd known him.

_He must be taking it personally_..._but __why_!

"I can _pay_! I'll do _anything_!" Jeong licked his lips, eyes darting left and right for an exit, but the guards had now turned to face Michael and his team...but with rifles down as they watched the events with frightened stances, fearing similar punishment, yet too afraid to act.

"And you _insist_ on not understanding!" Michael shook Jeong by the collar, _hard_, the man's head jerking back and forth as he cried out in terror, as much to the shaking as to Michael's roar.

To her embarrassment Tali realised she had taken a step back at the sound herself.

Then the shaking stopped, Michael's stance..._softening_. Looking over Jeong's shoulder Michael slowly shook his head, tone soft: "We must _all_ live with our failures until our end..."

"I..."

His stance _hardened_, voice turning into _steel_ as he glared down at Jeong: "...so consider this a mercy."

Another bang...and the civilians and guards alike jumped back as a crimson splash of blood flew out of the back of Jeong's skull and down on the floor even as the man himself, now but a body, fell prone.

For a moment Michael still stood there, frozen, left hand still looking as if he was gripping Jeong's shirt, right still levelling the pistol at a head that was no longer there. His entire body ready, tense...and oddly..._vacant_...not really there.

Tali felt herself shiver, Michael's words – so similar to Saren's not an hour ago – held a bitterness she didn't want to think about.

Then he was back, straightening he dropped the gun next to the corpse, eyes cold and calculating as he regarded the other survivors with that _need_ once more burning bright.

Tali swallowed. _I don't want a bloodbath_..._if we shoot those guards the civilians will get hurt too_..._Keelah I hope he doesn't-_

"You there." He pointed to one of the guards, who flushed scarlet a moment after he had – on instinct it seemed – stepped forth and saluted. "You will lead the rest of the guards and the civilians to the tower, the Geth there have either been destroyed or retreated."

"Y-yes sir." The man held the salute, the hand against his helmet trembling as his gaze darted between Michael's cold eyes and the warm body at his feet.

"There you will dig in and defend until the Alliance arrives, is that understood?"

"Y-yes s-_sir_!" With a snap the man finished the salute, then sagged as he stepped back in the line with the others.

"You." Michael's pointing finger this time landed on the elderly scientist Jeong had threatened, who to Tali's surprise looked calmer then the guard as she brushed back her grey hair and stepped forth. "You read about the Thorian, correct? It has killed two hundred and sixty-four people and enslaved the surviving thirty-six of the population, I want to know if we _can_ free the mind-controlled survivors."

"What I read suggests it's a very direct control." The woman licked her lips, gaze darting to the corpse for but a moment. "As such a _failure_ of direction should stop the control itself, so if the Thorian is dead its spores will become harmless." Another glance, this time along with a shrug, the woman accepting that she couldn't do anything but answer. "That's my initial _theory_ anyway, I doubt you have time for a longer analysis..."

"Correct." Michael nodded, _once_, then looked back to the guard he'd singled out, making the man's face once more flush. "Move out."

"Y-yes sir."

Turning Michael ignored the guards and civilians filling past them...as did the rest of the team as they looked to the Commander, Tali feeling her chest swell at the feel of being a team so ready to head _his_ Command... _To command such loyalty_..._not even __father__ does that_..._and I could only dream of_-

"Moreau?" Michael's question interrupted Tali's thoughts, making her tense up as she realised something was going on.

"_Finally_!" Joker called out through the comm, sounding annoyed. "I thought it would take all _day_ to reach you, and with this drumming that would just be-"

"Status." Michael snapped, thought not harshly, his stance all professionalism once more, as if his anger and loathing just moments ago had been nothing but an act. Yet Tali _knew_ it hadn't been... _How does he do it_? _Just switching on and off like that_...

"Well I don't know what you did...or what the technical term for this is...but there's three dozen colonists outside the door to the Normandy trying to smash their way in with their _fists_... just, you know, a heads up." Then a little lower, not meant for their ears: "Maybe piracy? Boarding? Rock-concert?"

Garrus suddenly shifted, thoughtful. "You think we pissed off the Thorian somehow...?"

"A probability." Michael agreed with a nod, then spoke into the comm. "Get me Urdnot."

"Here." Wrex grunted a moment later, sounding calm, if a little irritated.

"Is your armour repaired?"

"Yeah, finished five minutes ago."

"And T'soni?"

A snort: "Asari are too brittle..."

"Very well." Michael nodded, eyes vacant as he looked down at the ground, as if seeing a map of the colony in his head...which he just might be given his way of memorizing just about anything related to the mission. "You are to suit up and exit the Normandy using the cargo exit, there you will draw the colonists attention, do not engage unless cornered, retreat and draw them with you until further orders. I repeat, do _not_ engage unless cornered."

"Drawing them away eh? Sounds interesting, on it." The Krogan grunted, then cut transmission with a click.

Michael looked up...and Tali couldn't help but notice how she and the others straightening just a little bit as his gaze fell upon them. His entire _being_ projected control, discipline, purpose, preparedness...all with a _need_ driving it forth...a need that would _never_ find him wanting, that would carry them forth...that inspired _them_ to fill it.

Ashley said it, but the others might as well had spoken as well: "Orders, Commander?"

"Move out."

And they moved.

8

8

8

Unmolested by colonists, them being busy chasing a surprisingly evasive Wrex – _didn't think a __Krogan__ could be that good at __avoiding__ a fight_ – the group had reached Zhu's Hope without a hitch, as well as found an entrance beneath a few broken bulkheads leading down into an underground tunnel that _had_ to be the way to the Thorian.

Garrus felt his mandible twitch in excitement as they continued their descent.

Just ahead of him Michael and Ashley moved, the two having their assault rifles at the ready and forming a wall of heavy armour and heavier guns between any potential foes and the somewhat softer targets behind them.

Garrus and Kaidan were right behind them, Kaidan's pistol having a flashlight attached to it which illuminated the rapidly darkening stone tunnel...and Garrus settling for the now so intimately familiar sniper rifle over his pistol despite the cramped conditions._ Really should get an assault rifle or something_...

And at the rear Tali walked, her shotgun being levelled backwards as much as forward, the Quarian nervously glancing back as much as she checked the scanner on her omni-tool. Her warble was disquieting in the otherwise soundless hall: "No energy signatures..."

Garrus felt equally invigorated and concerned by the darkening tunnel however. _This_ was what he lived for..._this_ was what C-sec _should_ be doing! Not filing reports or ducking around red tape...but out among the people and doing _justice_! Striving to protect the weak and slay the unjust!

He had felt it when he had killed doctor Saleon, and again when Michael had killed the Exogeni scum...the rush...the feel of _rightness_ over the action. There was a _reason_ for Spectres, some people were just _too_ dangerous for prisons that didn't work or trials that never finished, and didn't deserve _either_ for their crimes...a bullet through the head was the only justice they deserved.

_I get it now_... He smiled at Shepard's back, grateful for being brought along, for all he was learning...and for the feel of that great weight being lifted off his shoulders as the restrictions and rules of C-sec were lifted, letting him to do _good_ work...to _breathe_!

So there was no fear when descending the darkness to the enslaving plant...only an eagerness to face it, to _punish_ it for its crimes.

_It has to be a thinking one right_?_ How else could it order people around_? _If_ _not_..._is__ it committing a crime_? Garrus' brow-plate knitted up in irritation at the thought...and he brushed it aside. _Silly notion, just get in and kill it, we're here to free people, not to__ raise a debate about the sanctity of life_.

"Moisture..." Kaidan muttered, light shining on one of the walls, showing the curved wall of the stone around them...shining with wetness. "...I think we might be close."

"I think you might be right." Garrus nodded, ignoring the look Kaidan shot him, well aware that Mr high-and-mighty wasn't Garrus' – and his sensible approach to crimes and criminals – greatest fan. Still, when the man was right he was right. "Notice the warmth? It's balmier here..."

Silence.

Garrus strained his hearing...and could swear he could hear a sound ahead...like a great vent being used in slow intervals.

"Dead Geth." Ashley muttered...and Garrus looked down in time to step over a fallen Geth trooper, its head torn open and covered in green smudge.

"No sign of any attackers..." Kaidan muttered, stepping over another broken Geth. "...and they look like they've been ripped asunder...what happened here?"

"Saren's Geth tried to take out the Thorian, it defended itself..." Michael coldly replied, not looking back for an instant. "...is a likely scenario."

Ashley's head snapped round to give the Commander a curious look: "How the hell does a _plant_ defend..."

They came round a corner...and the group came to a stumbling stop.

"...itself?"

The chamber was _large_, crumpling pillars holding up a multi-storied complex that might once have been some kind of Prothan assembly hall... The construct seemed to have been built in a spiralled fashion around a central opening, in the centre and down below there was what once had been a stage or debate-scene...

And that was all _nothing_ compared to what had filled it.

The walls themselves were covered with a green and brown boil-covered smear that gave of a faint orange light in places even as it gently throbbed with life, casting the crumpling pillars in sharp relief and making long shadows run across the broken ground. At places the throbbing smear grew out into large trunk-like tendrils the thickness of a man...each and every single one moving towards the green..._thing_...hanging a several dozen feet above the stage below.

It did _not_ look like a plant.

It was green, covered in brown boils...and shone with wetness even as it throbbed with perverted life...large drops of what looked like drool dripping from several mouth-like gaps in it...that seemed to twitch with a life of their own.

Not to mention that it was _large_...filling the central stage's width even as it hung above it, the size of maybe five Geth Colossuses put together...

It seemed impossible.

"So..." Ashley finally muttered, making Garrus realise that they had all slowly moved into the room to take a closer look at the disgusting life form before them. "..._why_ didn't we bring a grenade launcher or flame-thrower?"

"Killing _that_..." Garrus agreed with a nod, looking at the massive fleshy thing some scientist had thought of calling a 'plant'. "...will take a lot of bullets."

Then there was a sloshing sound...and the 'mouth' closest to them opened, _distended _as something _slid_ out...and dropped to the floor...

Something vaguely human.

All but Michael took a step back...even as the thing rose to its feet.

_What the_...? The Asari before them was coloured a deep green...dressed in a brown leathery thing that an Asari Commando might have used...except for the fact that this one was an obvious copy made by the Thorian, the leather looking dingy and...not quite right. Her eyes were green as well...green that seemed to _move_ as she regarded them, gaze coming to fix upon the man at the front.

Her voice was a rasp, a far thing from the soft voice of most Asari, the voice of something not quite _alive_: "Invaders, the Thorian will suffer no more transgressions by decieving things of flesh."

If he felt surprised by the appearance and speech of the Asari Michael didn't show it for even a split second. _How does he __do__ it_...? "And you are?"

"I was given by the thing calling itself Saren to translate his words, and to be _kept_ as a part of a deal now broken, and remade now before you to say that the Thorian wishes you gone, _now_." There was anger in the Asari's voice...and Garrus found himself looking up at the Thorian, the great fleshy sack twitching in anger, as if sensing his gaze. _Nice_..._monster_..._plant_..._creature_...

"Saren wanted something from you, I want it too." Michael replied, cold eyes boring into the cloned Asari.

"Saren gave the Thorian my flesh, slaves, a promise of peace if the Thorian gave knowledge of thought of those once walking the world." _Protheans_... The Asari's eyes narrowed at the Commander: "Saren offered peace and then brought war when he had what he wanted..." She pointed back to where they had came from, where the Geth still lay. "...as you will."

"I will not bring war." Michael replied, voice turning even colder than before as he stepped closer to the Asari: "If those still enslaved are not released, and if I'm not given the information Saren was, I will bring _annihilation_."

A loud yet muffled roar escaped the Thorian, the massive globe of flesh shaking in its thick roots with anger...and the Asari hissed in rage at the apparently unperturbed Michael: "You _dare_! We can _destroy_ you! Your flesh is _weak_! Leave! _Now_!"

_Oh good, diplomacy fails_. Garrus grinned even as Michael took another step closer. "No."

The Asari's eyes turned into slits...as she was suddenly aglow with a purple haze of biotic power.

_Oh_... Garrus took a step back, eyes widening as he realised that even a _clone_ of an Asari could use biotics...and more terrifying...even _more_ so. All around him the others froze in surprise and fear, realising that the Thorian might not be so defenceless even as the ground heaved with something awakening...

All but Michael.

The man's open palm shot out.

And the Asari's biotics flashed away as her eyes blinked from the blow to her forehead.

A moment later he ducked low, leg scything round...and sent the Asari falling as her feet were swept away from under her.

He caught her mid-air, or rather, her right arm, gripping it tightly he came up on one knee...and let her fall to the ground as the arm now pressing against Shepard's thigh bent into an unnatural angle with a snap.

.

A gasp...and then a gurgle as Michael's fist slammed down on the creature's windpipe with a crack.

"Nice-" Garrus' words were caught in his throat as Michael spun around, still on one knee, his assault rifle in his hands, aiming straight at _them_!

"Down."

Garrus dropped prone at the calm order, unable to disobey even as he glanced backwards...in time to see the others follow suit..._and_ to spot a doorway he hadn't spotted before, a doorway crowded with..._things_.

They _looked_ human...but their skin was a sickly green, much of it having rotted away, most of it now covered in something brown and fungus-like...and yellowed teeth bared in hunger.

Then there was the familiar barking of Michael's assault rifle...and the things came apart in a shower of gore and green lumps of whatever had infected the obviously dead people.

"You got to be..." Ashley grunted angrily as the group got to their feet. "..._zombies_! What the hell!"

Not even sure what a zombie _was_ Garrus shrugged and straightened. "At least we know where all those colonists went."

"Two hundred and sixty-four..." Michael muttered, more to himself then them, the man stepping past Garrus with a raised rifle. "...follow me."

Garrus was instantly at Michael's side, rifle jerking against his shoulder as another of the things appeared in the doorway, blowing its head up in an explosion of green sap. And he couldn't help but notice even as they stepped into the next room – only slightly above the next given the slight slope upwards – that the walls were _moving_...

"They're coming out of the walls!" Kaidan shouted out the warning a moment later, just in time for Garrus to watch with wide eyes as the sludge on the walls moved, _cracked_...and broke apart as more of those once human creatures came forth.

All along the wall of the room the creatures appeared, many with half their faces still covered in a crusted shell of the smudge they had been enveloped in...and Garrus could even over the sound of the team's firing guns hear the cracking in _more_ rooms as the Thorian freed its thralls...

For the first time since they had gotten down there Garrus felt a spike of fear shoot through him...

"Double time!" Michael shouted the order, yet still with a calm voice as he began to run, the butt of his rifle swinging out and knocking one of the creatures by the next doorway aside with a crack of breaking ribs.

A glance back...and Garrus found his eyes widening at the sight of Tali and Ashley jumping back after the rest in small leaps, each moving in turn before whirling about to send of a volley of rifle fire or a boom of a shotgun shell into the pressing _horde_ closing in behind them...

Each boom tore one of the thralls apart, each volley gutted one – or even three at times – yet it was nothing but a drop in the ocean...

_This could turn bad __quickly_...

To his right Kaidan appeared, his armour smeared with green sap, chest heaving as his free hand moved up to a cut in his neck...only to glow dark blue as he turned and shot out a bolt of power against a flanking thrall, sending it hurtling into a wall were it came apart with a wet thump.

Instantly another came forth, leaping at Kaidan...and then twitching as Garrus put a bullet in its chest...another shot and it fell away with a thud.

Ahead, round a corner, something glowed deep blue...only to stop to the sound of a crash and a long volley of fire.

Hurrying forth Garrus saw another Asari clone, severed in two at the waist...and Michael further ahead as the man with a sweeping assault rifle felled half a dozen slouching forms before kicking the skull apart of a seventh.

Then Garrus fell.

Growling he spun, finding a creature – it's legs blown off – clutching at his foot, jaw opening wide...

"Back off!" He levelled his rifle, a bang...and the creature's head exploded...only to reveal three more coming at him, slouching as they walked forth, teeth bared...

Then Ashley was there, the marine a blur and her white armour looking like a bolt of lightning with the speed of her charge. Her foot impacted with and crashed through the chest of the first creature, the swinging fist following knocking the jaw of the second and sending it stumbling...and a backhand swing crushing the windpipe of the third and dropping it onto its knees to the sound of a wheezy gasp.

Instantly four more came forth...and Ashley, white armour now sullied with green gunk, spun round to calmly gun them down with her barking assault rifle even as she growled: "Now is not the time to sleep! Get up you slouch!"

_Heh_. Garrus barred his teeth at the woman's spirit and jumped to his feet. Gun already tracking another foe...

"_Help_!" He spun to the cry, finding Tali in the doorway they had come from, the Quarian desperately blowing a leg off a disgusting thrall even as her omni-tool glowed with impotent power against the simple creatures gripping into her arms and shoulders, slowly pulling her back towards a writhing mass...

A boom, and Garrus' shot tore through two of the thralls to Tali's left, freeing that arm even as Kaidan came running, gripping Tali's outreached arm and pulling her close even as his other glowed with dark energy...that was sent hurtling at the Thralls reaching after their escaping prey...

A bang of power and the nearest thrall was sent flying, its body covered in biotic energy even as it crashed through the rest, bowling them over and breaking several apart with dull cracks of snapping bones.

Garrus nodded in relief, turned, and found more coming from the next doorway. _So_ _many_...

A jolt of panic ran through him as he realised that the Thorian thralls in their own room had been dealt with...but also that they were caught between two hordes from each entrance that had begun to close in...

"Where's Shepard!"

Kaidan's shout echoed Garrus' own thoughts, but he shook his head – and himself – out of his lethargy as he levelled his rifle at one doorway and called out: "No time! Ashley with me! Kaidan and Tali, you cover the other entrance! _Nothing_ gets through!"

Instantly Ashley was next to him, his own high powered shot digging a line through the packed monsters limping forward before Ashley's rifle stitched a line across them, felling the foremost like rotten trees.

Behind them there was a thump of a biotic explosion quickly followed by the boom of a shotgun...along with a Quarian swearword.

_This __is__ bad_...

Ahead the thralls came forth, Ashley's rifle overheating, making her curse as she moved to draw her shotgun...and Garrus sending the first through the doorway to the ground with a sodden thump as its head broke in two.

"Garrus! The Thorian!" Kaidan's shout made Garrus spin to look at the central opening in the circular chamber...and stare.

Michael had used the distraction of the rest of the team well, having moved to the very top of the room, _above_ the great Thorian thing...and was now on Garrus' right and _running_ down _on_ one of the roots holding it up, towards the throbbing creature.

_Is he completely_... Garrus found his jaw drop, watching as the man without blinking or swerving ran full pelt down the shaking root...arms like pistons, legs a blur of keeping up with a run that was half a _fall_...

"The clones!" Kaidan shouted again, the words jolting Garrus out of his stare, making him realise that there were _two_ Asari clones running down their own roots – one to Garrus' left and one opposite him – to stop Michael...and Michael was paying them no heed.

His rifle came up, catching the clone opposite him in its scope even as she raised a fist crackling with energy above her head...

A _crack_...and the creature jerked, green blood spraying the root behind it as a little red dot appeared in her forehead...and then she limply fell sideways and off the Thorian.

Loading away the case of a superheated sniper-shell Garrus moved his aim over to the other clone...

_Too late_!

Michael had already reached the Thorian, standing atop the throbbing sac of flesh even as he drew his shotgun...and the clone had jumped...and now came down towards him with a foot glowing dark blue with energy...with _power_.

Then, even as Garrus stared in horror, Michael took a step to the side.

With an almighty crunch the Asari's foot smashed into the Thorian's flesh, spraying green liquid everywhere...and then she fell to her knees with a shriek, clutching her head even as the Thorian shook with a muffled roar.

All around there were shrieks, thumps of creatures falling as the control of the Thorian wavered...and Garrus saw none of it as he stared up at the unfolding scene.

Michael's shotgun roared...and the clone was sent flying in an explosion of blood and guts.

Then he stepped forth, eyes cold and calm, levelling his shotgun at the hole made in the Thorian...and fired a second shot.

The massive thing shook, cracked, great tears appearing in its side as green sap began to drip from it...and then roared a final time before its roots shook and snapped off, the entire thing coming apart like a tearing balloon, sending Michael falling down in a shower of green filth.

Down a _long_ drop.

"Michael!" Garrus wasn't sure _who_ shouted the name, him or any of the others, perhaps _all_ of them, as they rushed to the edge of the room to stare down at the stage down below.

The Thorian had cracked apart completely at the bottom, covering the ground with a green and brown smear, pieces of whatever its bark was sticking up like the wreckage of a crashed ship...and in it all...two figures lay...two _moving_ figures.

And Ashley's growl was filled with relief: "That's it...I'm going to kill him."

8

8

8

With a gasp Ashley stumbled to a halt while hearing the others moving to catch up with her as they stared at the disgusting scene before them.

Everywhere the zombies of the Thorian lay, now small and pitiful little shapes nearly hidden in the darkness of the chamber's dying lights, some having been blasted apart by the team, _most_ having fallen when the Thorian had died.

As to the central stage itself...Michael was _covered_ in the green and brown filth of the Thorian, as if he had taken a bath in it. _More like a shower_... She shook her head as she watched how the falling Thorian had been splattered over floor and walls alike, like a bug on a windshield.

And amazingly...Michael was on his _feet_, the man limping but alive, his fall no doubt cushioned by the broken 'plant'. He didn't even seem all that fazed by his long drop, or the gunk covering him. _Then again neither was I a moment ago_... Ashley self-consciously glanced down at her armour, grimacing at the green filth that already had began to dry into a crust upon over her body.

Looking back up she found Michael limping over to the other moving body within the mess that had been the Thorian, his eyes _still_ cold and calm as he regarded the thing coming up to its knees...

Another Asari...her armoured leather suit looking more..._right_ then that of the previous ones...not to mention that the green filth running down her face was revealing a distinctly purple face – a face now looking up at the approaching human with weary grey eyes – had been revealed by the death of the Thorian.

_So_..._she was __inside__ of that thing?_ _That's_ _just_..._eww_.

Ashley levelled her assault rifle.

_Better not take any chances_.

Michael had his pistol drawn, but didn't raise it as he grabbed a hold of the Asari's head-fringe with his left hand – making her grimace in pain – and jerked her head back to look up at him as he towered above her. "Talk." A beep of an activating weapon...and he levelled the weapon at her. "Now."

"You have freed me..." The voice was different from the previous ones, the annoying softness of a real Asari in it, the woman blinked, some of the weariness disappearing, her eyes focusing on the man above her, as if awakening from a deep slumber. "...I...didn't think I was..._real_ any more..."

"Yeah, yeah, he's your hero." Ashley snorted. "But _you_ are a _villain_, so talking _sense_ would be a good idea."

To her annoyance the Asari didn't even _glance_ at her, the woman's gaze riveted to Shepard's as she without resisting hung in the grip on her head-fringe. "The Thorian...upon Saren's command I entered it...I know what you seek..."

"Why would you do that?" Garrus asked, the Turian shaking his head as he took in the splattered remains of the thing.

_This_ time the Asari's gaze moved, throwing Garrus a glance before looking back to Michael: "Because he ordered it, because...I wanted it..._needed_ to do it..." Michael's grip on her head-fringe tightened, yet the woman didn't seem to notice. "...I _needed_ to do what he said..."

Silence.

Then Michael's head becoming cocked as he regarded the woman, some of the coldness in his eyes fading: "Explain."

"It's his _ship_..." The Asari's gaze went vacant as she stared into a memory only she could see, her voice shuddering slightly: "I was a Commando for Benezia, we joined Saren to persuade him to change his mind, to put him right...but..." A soft shake of her head, brow furrowing in confusion. "...the more you're on his ship, the more you hear him talk...the more you _agree_...the more you think he's _right_... It...it doesn't even make sense to you...you just...agree...you _need_ to agree...you _need_ to obey...it's like a _thirst_..."

"Brainwashing?" Kaidan muttered the suggestion, and Ashley found herself nodding even as she continued to look at the pair, one on her knees, looking defeated, yet...at peace...the other tense, a statue regarding the Asari.

"Why?" His question was almost..._soft_, making Ashley throw Michael's face a glance, but it was unreadable.

Another shake of the Asari's head. "I don't know...you're there...you heed him...you obey...you can't do anything else...even when you _leave_ the ship you _need_ to do as he says...because there's no alternative, because you can't _imagine_ an alternative..." Her lips twitched, then curved into a relieved smile. "Now it feels like...a distant nightmare...the Thorian freed me from Saren's imprisonment of my mind for its own...and now it _too_ is gone." The smile became broader. "I feel..._whole_."

"You served Saren, you're surrounded by his enemies, whole or not your life is dangerously close to being ended." Garrus growled the words, eyes narrowed at the Asari in unmistakable irritation.

Eyes narrowing further as the Asari looked back to him, her smile not fading: "Then I die whole, it's...a _relief_ compared to the thought of dying as a thrall of Saren's..."

The Turian opened his mouth to retort, only to clamp it shut as Michael released the Asari's head-fringe to hold up a hand ordering silence. "What do you know of Saren's plans? Where is he heading? How does he intend to summon the Reapers?"

"_Why_ would be a better question..." Ashley muttered, but Michael ignored her, the question for some reason not interesting him. _Which is just __odd_..._men_.

"He's...heading for the conduit...trying to find it...it's _needed_..." The Asari looked up at Michael, shaking her head. "...I don't know much else...all is in his head, he keeps his plans to himself, and we _never_ questioned...we _couldn't_...we didn't _want_ to..." A grimace, fear flickering behind her eyes: "But I _do_ know that he's on the track...and that he's _relentlessly_ hunting it, he _can't_ stop, he _won't_...he _needs_ it...he's _driven_ by this need...it's a _hunger_..."

_What a bunch of bullshit_... Ashley shook her head at the nonsensical talk, wondering if the Asari was still loyal and now simply trying to waste their time. "Could we get to something _useful_ soon or will we stand around in this shit for long?"

Michael didn't reply, his gaze fixed upon the Asari, a slight twitch in the corner of his eyes...and Ashley shot Tali a questioning look, knowing the perceptive Quarian was no doubt seeing much that Ashley wasn't...the way the Quarian had her head tilted to the side and fingers fiddling in her lap confirmed it. _Better ask her later_...

Then, _finally_: "What did the Thorian give him?"_There__ we go_...

"He has seen the visions of the beacon like you..." The Asari muttered the words, looking breathless all of a sudden. "...and like you he finds them difficult to understand. But the Thorian had been here for _aeons_...it has fed upon _countless_ Protheans as they were buried...it _knows_ them, it understands their thinking...and it used me as a bridge to transmit this understanding to Saren before his betrayal."

"I need that understanding." Michael stated, calm as ever as he reached down, took the Asari's arm...and hoisted her to her feet. "Do you have it?"

"I do..." The woman nodded, eyes sad as they moved to glance at the pistol in Michaels hands, voice soft: "...and I will give it to you...the _first_ part of my penance..."

"Oh for..." Ashley shook her head, taking a step forward, fist raised. "No damn alien brain-melding again! Shepard, this _thing_ was one of Saren's allies! Could _still_ be! Not to mention she's just been inside a creature that might have given her God knows what!"

Michael looked at her...and she found her fist dropping at the calm look: "This is needed Williams, an acceptable risk, stand down."

_Damn_ _suicidal_...

Grumbling Ashley hesitated, but then stepped back, watching as Michael turned to regard the Commando once more: "Go ahead."

"As you wish, Commander..." The Asari bowed her head...and then looked up, eyes black as pitch: "Embrace eternity...and _see_."

Silence.

The two staring into one another's eyes for five _agonizing_ seconds...

And then Michael took a step back, his calm face twisting into a pained grimace as he moved a hand up to his temple, voice a gasped mutter: "Much...information."

"Yes..." The Asari, looking paler now, agreed with a nod, voice sombre as she took a step back: "...the collective consciousness of an entire race...their entire way of thinking, of understanding...how you and Saren handle both it and the visions from the beacon...I cannot understand."

"Commander? Are you okay?" Garrus growled the question, taking a step towards Michael even as he threw the Asari a suspicious look.

"We have the data, T'soni will assist me in deciphering it." Michael replied with a nod, letting Garrus grip his shoulder and offering the Turian a nod, the calm swiftly returning to his features, if a little strained.

_You didn't answer his question_... Suddenly feeling weary Ashley nodded towards the Asari: "Great, and what about Miss sunshine here?"

"I have killed many in Saren's service..." The Asari bowed her head, eyes soft as they regarded the filthy ground. "...given him a key part in finding the Conduit and possible end all life in the galaxy..." She fell to her knees, hands interlocking over her neck as she looked down at the ground: "...giving you the understanding of the Prothans is _not_ enough, I accept the punishment I must have _gladly_...thank you Commander."

_Oh_... Ashley blinked in shock at the Asari...even as Michael took a step forth and levelled his pistol at the back of her head, eyes cold and calculating as he looked down at her.

Silence.

The sound of shifting feet on the ground as the team waited.

And then the beep of the pistol being deactivated as Michael holstered it. _What_ _the_...! "No."

"What!" Garrus and the Asari both gasped out the question at the same time, both their heads snapping to look at Michael. It was the Asari who spoke next however: "I do not understand, surely I deserve to be-"

"Too easy." Michael snapped, eyes narrowing at the Asari...who for the first time inched away from his gaze. "You wish to _repent_ for your crimes, to make things right?"

"Y-yes." The Asari woman looked...hesitant, her calm shattered with the realisation she wasn't about to die. She looked...confused and..._disappointed_?

"Then you will _stay_ here, where I can find you if I need you." Michael crossed his arms over his chest, glaring down at the woman: "And you were part of a creature that killed over two hundred colonists and enslaved the survivors, if you wish to make things right you will help them."

The woman blinked at the words, then a shadow of a smile appeared on her face, of _hope_.

"Then you might make things right...and find the _real_ forgiveness you're looking for..." Michael nodded, looking...tired. _Can't blame him, been a long day_."...your _own_."

And the Asari's eyes shone with tears not yet felled as she nodded: "Y-yes...that...might be a _start_..." She got to her feet, smiling, for the first time looking...energized. "...I _will_ do so, thank you Commander."

The briefest of smiles appeared on Michael's face...and then the coldness was back as he looked to the others, all staring in confusion and wonder at the outcome of the confrontation that they'd thought would end in yet another execution.

But Michael didn't answer their questioning looks, he only gestured for the exit.

"Move out."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for managing to handle this seizable chapter._


	34. Chapter 34

Tali was late.

She was _never_ late.

Yet she forced herself to keep her walk unhurried and her head high as she ignored the surprised looks of the Normandy's crew, crew who _knew_ the ground team had already assembled in the communications room for their debriefing.

A debriefing that had started _ages_ ago.

Tali's cheeks burned a little at that, but she kept ignoring the people as she forced herself to keep walking._ It's not my fault_..._well it __is_..._a little_..._okay so a lot_..._dammit_..._can't believe I actually __did__ that_..._and took so long_..._it's so_..._stupid_...

With them having left Feros behind...Michael's behaviour had finally been allowed to properly sink into Tali's mind...

The righteous anger with Jeong. The way he had slain the Thorian practically on his own, saving the others in the process – along with the colonists anyone else would consider lost – with his near suicidal run...and not even thinking it as anything but natural. His sparing of the Asari, the way he had _understood_ her...his sudden brittleness...that he somehow held in check with such a..._defiance_... It had all seeped into her...and somewhat irritatingly made her heart flutter at the memories.

So she had found herself looking at the picture of her pilgrimage party, at the way she was squeezed in between the massive shape of a smirking Michael and a grinning Ashley...and felt an _ache_...

Not an ache of desire, nor of longing for that happiness again, but of...she wasn't sure...of actually being _there_ perhaps.

She had looked at her face then, a purple visor that shone from the flash of the camera...and found herself unable to stand still a _moment_ longer.

She had easily gotten to borrow the camera from Chackwas, the doctor's comment about the Quarian moving so swiftly going unanswered...and then marched up to Joker.

She had been worried about Joker asking questions about her request, but the man hadn't, he'd only answered that he'd do anything for his 'favouritest Quarian ever'...which perhaps wasn't _that_ surprising. As one living on the Flotilla most of her life Tali really should have known that pilots were willing to do just about _anything_ for the engineers responsible for their 'baby'...and especially one who made her _better_ then before...

Still, Tali had been grateful for Joker not asking as he let her into the decontamination chamber of the ship and let it run on a permanent cycle until she was done...

It had taken a while.

Tali shook her head at her own foolishness of bringing a mirror...not to mention taking so _many_ pictures until she could at least feel _slightly_ happy with the result...

And even _now_ she held the reader with the one picture not deleted saved on it...and considered removing it too. It had been a _long_ time since she'd seen her own face...she wasn't sure how long she had been staring at the mirror before actually moving to do what she had _come_ to do...

It was such an _alien_ face...at times it didn't feel like her own any more...

_It isn't a human face, that is for sure_. She blinked, the thought surprisingly painful.

Sure, humans had hair, and while the longer quills of a female Quarian was _genetic_ rather then a _social_ thing..._and_ though Tali had seen _human_ women with long red hair...her quills were _not_ the same thing. She hadn't paid them much heed back in the Flotilla or out in the galaxy, why would she when they were hidden under both a helmet and a hood? But when she had pulled her hood back and removed her helmet...they had spilled forth, sharp tips grazing her between the shoulder blades even as she stared at them with a tightened chest. Their dark crimson redness was _not_ a colour human hair had...nor were the bony white tips...and the finger-thick quills, semi-stiff and ending at her head with a _far_ too high a 'hairline' to be human...it _all_ was..._different_.

Perhaps attractive by Quarian standards, but compared to how human hair was supposed to look...

Ugly.

Her skin was too pale a purple, not the pretty Asari fullness...And both chin and lips were too small, the jawline leading to it giving her head an ugly triangular shape compared to the softer shape of an Asari or even human face... And the way her face listed backwards...more of a _Vorcha_ then a human in shape...she hadn't thought of it much before...now she _hated_ it. The tiny ears hidden behind that _ugly_ jawline not making things _any_ better..._nor_ did that thin and long neck disappearing under her quills.

_Alien_...

At least her _nose_ was more or less human, _if_ a little small...but what good did that do when she couldn't grin like Ashley? She had only managed a shy smile at the camera, thin lips pressed tightly together, unwilling to show the row of small but pointed teeth in her small mouth...a far cry from that of a human.

And then there were the _eyes_, those _cursed_ things. Sure, she'd seen humans with slanted eyes...it wasn't all unusual, but none with _slitted_ pupils...something belonging to a _Krogan_ or one of those _cats_ the humans kept. The pale green – and very large – irises were in a way _good_, it reflected the light in her helmet and made her visor more then just a glass surface for others to look at...but it was just so..._alien_...no doubt eerie for a human to look at.

Inhuman, _ugly_.

Her hands moved, holding up the electronic reader that hummed in readiness, a press from showing her image...or being deleted...and found her finger hovering over the deletion button.

_So what_? _Of course I look different from a human_..._why would I even __want__ to look like one_?

She grimaced, the answer _painfully_ obvious...and foolish, and stupid, and delusional, and..._frustrating_.

_I should just_... The finger drifted closer to the deletion button...only for her to move her hand away as she pulled the reader against her chest, which made it the _third_ time in her short walk from the decontamination chamber and the communications room that she had done that._ No, it took nearly an hour_..._can't just back down now, I'll never forgive myself_...

Ahead the door to the communications room awaited, grey and ominous with what awaited her...and she found herself coming to a stop as she hesitated.

_Keelah my heart's beating so fast_...

She shook her head, grimacing at her foolishness. _Just get it over with, it's nothing important after all, nothing you should put any_..._hope to_. _Just give it to him and get out before you die of embarrassment or see that look of disgust_...

She couldn't, a small peep escaping her as she tried to will her legs to move.

_I don't dare_...

Then the door opened.

And Tali found herself shirking to the side as Wrex came rumbling out, the Krogan's red eyes narrowed in anger, shaking his head, voice a growl: "This is just stupid, back to the Citadel? Damn paperwork is more dangerous then the enemy..."

"You said it." Garrus agreed with an eager nod, the Turian moving to catch up with the mercenary. "Let me tell you about this one time when..."

"Tali!" Ashley came up to her, her friend's arms held wide and a grin on her face. "Where the hell have you _been_!"

_Guilt_. It made Tali's tongue knot up: "I...that is..."

The hands came down on Tali's shoulders, the marine tilting her head forward as she gave Tali a playful look. "Never mind, just so you know, Michael's going to so chew you out for missing the debriefing." Tali opened her mouth to...she wasn't sure what, but Ashley interrupted with a laugh: "Ha! You worry too much, it'll be fine." She offered a wink...and Tali felt the guilt in her gut wiggle like a worm. _My_ _friend_...

"Ashley?" Kaidan caught up with the marine, offering Tali a friendly nod and a smile before looking back to the human woman. His body language was so easy to read, friendly yet eager...eagerness aimed at _Ashley_. Tali knew from their talks that Ashley knew about it, even felt something back...but she was unsure if Ashley realised the _depth_ of Kaidan's devotion. _Probably_ _not_... Tali suppressed the disappointment, as well as the urge to try and tell Ashley of it, it wouldn't do any good after all... "You were going to show me the latest pistol we got in?"

Ashley shot Kaidan a smirk. "Damn right I am." Then looked back to Tali, reassurance in her voice, hands squeezing Tali's shoulders. "Seriously, don't worry about it, I keep telling you you take your responsibilities too hard...like a _miniature_ Michael." A wink and a pat on the shoulders and Ashley walked away alongside Kaidan, the two already bowing their heads in conversation.

And Tali could only look after them...guilt digging into her at the sight of Ashley. _Maybe I should just_..._leave_..._or_..._stop_ _being_..._Keelah_..._I should never have joined in the first place_...

Then she turned her head, looking at the still open door, within where Michael and Liara stood in the centre of the room facing one another, brows furrowed in thought.

Tali couldn't help it, she walked in, steps slow and furtive, head cocked as she watched.

Liara was the first to speak, the Asari swaying where she stood. "That was...intense...but without the location of the Mu Relay we have no way of reaching Ilos..."

"It's a step closer." Michael retorted calmly, looking away with a shrug.

"Do you wish to..." Liara's hand reached out towards Michael...only to stop halfway there. "..no...of course you don't...my apologies."

"It's okay." Michael looked back, offering Liara a smirk: "You don't want to talk about it either right?"

"Not..._really_ no." Liara shook her head, then swayed, hand coming up to her head. "Sorry Commander but...it's a bit tiring to see those..." She shot Tali a glance, stance guarded, but not hostile, wishing to defend Michael from whatever knowledge the Asari had acquired, her words confirming it: "..._things_...may I see the doctor?"

"Of course." Michael offered Liara a nod, face friendly, unbothered...a _lie_...Tali could see his stance, it was all...worried, _tense_, ready to flee from whatever Liara knew...but held in check by unyielding discipline. The surface cracked just a little: "You're...okay I hope." _And even with the fear_..._care_... Tali almost dropped her reader at the sight, wanting nothing but to _understand_ how he could be capable of it both things at the same time...

_Keelah, I got it bad_...

"Of course, Shepard." Liara managed a pale smile and a nod. "You have nothing to worry about." With those double-meaning words she turned, offered Tali a friendly, if distant, nod and walked away.

Turning her head Tali looked after Liara, wondering briefly if she should ask the Asari about whatever she might have seen...but then decided against it. Liara wouldn't tell her – of everyone the Asari was the _least_ close to Tali or..._anyone_ really...her mother and strange position as Michael's 'seer' putting her in a bit of an awkward position to everyone else – and Tali didn't _want_ to be told like _that_...it would be betraying Michael's trust.

"You weren't in for the debriefing." Tali yelped at Michael's low accusation, whirling about to find him close, grinning down at her. "I really ought to put you on some sort of engine cleaning detail..." A smirk as he cocked his head to the side: "...but then again you'd only _enjoy_ doing that anyway."

Tali took a step back, clutching the reader close to her chest as she shook her head. "Keelah. I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't mean to take so long, I thought it would be quick but then I got stuck and I had a small fight with my helmet and the visor got all fogged as I-"

A finger on her visor, and her mouth slammed shut. Michael's smile was as warm as it was soothing: "You're babbling." _Keelah_... Then that _irritating_ smile of his flashed forth. "Not that it's not _cute_, but I'd rather hear what you were doing..." He glanced down at the reader Tali was clutching even as her toes curled up against the floor. "..._that_ has anything to do with it?"

"I..._yes_..." Tali swallowed, unwilling to let the reader go...then thrusting it into Michael's gut, drawing a small grunt out of him as his hands moved up to take it. "Oh...sorry I..." She licked her lips. _This is not going as I hoped_... "...sorry I...might be a little nervous..."

Michael blinked, body confused as it awkwardly held the reader before moving it round to hold it the right side up. For a moment his hand hovered over the controls...before he let it drop as he looked at her, a hint of concern – of _worry_ – in his voice: "What is this, Tali?"

"Well it's..." Tali hesitated, unsure how to phrase it. _Keelah_..._I had a speech prepared_..._but_..._I don't remember it_... "You remember back with my pilgrimage – I mean my pilgrimage celebration – errr...party...drinking eating..._thingie_?"

A laugh escaped the man, some of the worry disappearing as he regarded her with amusement: "I recall a 'thingie' yes..."

"Well it was so nice and good and pretty lights and that cake and those presents and I made a _fool_ out of myself..." Tali realised she was speaking faster now, and Michael's amused smirk did nothing to help. "...which I _still_ am but that's not the point. I meant to say that it was very nice and such and I had so much fun and I know that I as a Quarian perhaps don't understand how so much attention could be aimed at one person and be considered anything but _ridiculous_...but it was still nice and I kind of liked everything, even when you got me all crying and..." She shook her head, irritated with herself even as a hand moved to the pocket over her left breast where Michael's little computer lay hidden.

Before her Michael shifted, his amusement clear in every part of his body as he regarded her with bared teeth.

"...and I'm _still_ babbling." Tali took a much needed breath...only to find the air come out as her mouth, unwilling to heed her _brain_, continued: "I mean it was all so nice and the memories will be treasured and I know we all got that picture taken by the doctor to remind us of it and everyone was so happy with it and laughing about it and telling me how cute I looked. Which I find a bit silly since I'm just standing there in my usual suit and you can't actually see anything but my stance which I admit might have looked a bit small compared to you others but that's just because I'm a Quarian and am already small and had my arms so close to myself and was a bit worked up about everything and-"

"Tali." Michael chuckled, but the hand coming down on her shoulder forced her to look up at him, only now realising that she had been staring at her fiddling hands, the smile looking down at her was amused, but also with a hint of concern: "Why are you nervous? What is it?"

"I..." _Keelah_..._no_ _turning_ _back_. "...went into the decontamination chamber." Michael blinked...and Tali took a deep breath, forcing herself to speak: "Took a picture of myself without the helmet...you know..." She bit her lip, watching as Michael shifted into curiosity. "...so I'm not just some Quarian in a suit on that picture...so you can know who I..." She swallowed, voice tiny: "..._am_."

Silence.

Michael looking down at her, face unreadable, the curiosity in his stance mixed with...a soft kind of amusement.

He straightened, hands moving to the reader, holding it before him, looking down at it, then up at her...and Tali found her breath hitching as she stared at the hand moving down to the controls...

_Keelah_..._this is it_..._I should go_..._leave_..._can't watch as he_...

She couldn't move out of the spot, panic paralysing her.

_Keelah_ _no_...

Her chest hurt with the jerky beat of her heart, eyes unable to close to her panicked commands as they watched the hand move down...

Down to deleting the picture.

Silence.

She blinked, mouth hanging open, heart stopping, mind blank.

Her voice was not her own, just a tiny little gasp: "W-why...?"

"Tali..." The hand that had deleted the picture came up, his index-finger pressing against the underside of her helmet, tilting her head up to look at Michael. His smile was _soft_, as was the voice: "...I _already_ know who you are."

_Keelah_...

Her knees wobbled, all strength leaving them as the ship seemed to sway...

Her arms came out, balancing her before she tipped over as she struggled to regain control...

"I...okay then..." Her voice was so small...a tiny little _squeak_ as she looked down at the floor, as much to make sure where her feet were as it was to avoid looking up at Michael. Her mind felt so...empty all of a sudden...yet she knew that if she actually _looked_ at him...she didn't dare doing that.

_Keelah_...

Turning was a struggle, her body feeling distant and awkward, her legs shaky and weak. "...I'll just leave you be then, I have...engines to clean...I..._yes_..."

She begun to walk, each step slow as she struggled not to simply fall, almost frightened by the sudden weakness his words had caused.

_Keelah_...

And behind her there was a scrape of boots against the floor as Michael's voice, _confused_, asked: "I'm sorry...I didn't offend you did I?"

She shook her head, staring at her feet as continued her slow escape, voice a tiny _whisper_: "No...not at _all_..."

_Keelah_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for melting to this one. ;-)_


	35. Chapter 35

The Presidium was as beautiful as ever.

Tali found her head turning as she leant against the railing leading up to the Citadel tower's elevator, arms crossed over her chest as she stared out over the vast space.

Even now, after _everything_ she had seen...it was _inspiring_ to see the Presidium.

The water moving freely in great channels, the greenery so perfectly trimmed in little patches among the whiteness...the elegantly curved bridges, the finely dressed people of various species lounging or sedately walking on whatever errand they might be in...with so much space between them that a Quarian couldn't fathom it.

It was the very image of tranquillity and harmony.

Of course Tali knew it to be just an illusion.

Beneath the veneer shady politics and cruel business ran rampant, the Shadow Broker's agent having his own private office there and a high-class Asari prostitute owning a small palace within the Presidium just _two_ of the signs...and just beneath those spotless floors the Wards lay, a noisy and crowded space for those _without_ billions of credits in their names...

A fine polish of rotten timber.

Yet _still_...it _was_ beautiful. The statues rising above the rivers, the patches of green..._everything_, so clean and prosperous and...she couldn't fathom the wealth required for it, _couldn't_.

_So_..._pretty_.

"Yep..." The words brought her out of her reverie, making her turn to look at the woman leaning against the railing on the other side of the entrance to the elevator. Ashley too had her arms over her chest, along with one foot before the other as she leant against the railing and with a puff of air blew a lock of hair out of her face and looked out over the Presidium stretching out before them: "...boring as hell."

A small giggle escaped Tali as she shook her head: "That was not _quite_ what I was thinking..." Another glance at the unchanged scene before them. "...though you have a point."

"Yeah well...this is why I hated garrison duty..." Ashley yawned, arms reaching out to her sides as she stretched, then relaxed as she looked back to Tali: "...this damn waiting, personally I hope Michael tells the Council to shove it so we don't have to go report every other mission..."

"He'd never do that." Tali answered automatically, gaze drifting to the glass door of the elevator shaft, the elevator itself _still_ far above._ What's taking them so long_...?

"True, too much of a goody two shoes..." Ashley smiled, head dipping low as she looked at her feet, gaze distant, her entire body _smiling_ with the thought of the man...

Tali found her hands closing into fists.

_Keelah I_..._stop__ it, she's your friend and_..._and_... She looked away, shoulders dropping. _She'd make him happy_...i_t would be right, good_..._she'd give him everything he_... She blinked, throat closing up. _Dammit_...

"Hey?" Glancing up she found Ashley having taken a step forward, head tilted in concern as she reached a hand towards Tali: "What's the matter? You looked kind of...lost all of a sudden."

"I'm fine." Tali replied with an irritated shake of her head. _My friend, I_..._I don't deserve you_..._if you only knew_...

"That sniffle says otherwise." Ashley softly replied, making Tali squirm as she felt the human's hand on her shoulder. _What a great time to become sensitive to others_... "And that _grumble_ makes my bigger-sister genes tell me I should give the back of your head a smack." The hands on Tali's hands gripped her firmer even as Ashley's voice was filled with her smirk.

"It's nothing important." The lie slipped easily from Tali's lips – as it had so many times before – as she looked back up at Ashley, ignoring the jab of guilt as she deceived her friend: "Just a mild reaction from a suit-breach."

"I keep telling you to duck..." Ashley shook her head and smiled, _believing_ the lie, because why wouldn't she believe her friend...and Tali felt self-loathing roll over her. "Now how about after we're done here we go to the Wards and find some nice stores selling-"

A hum...and both women turned their heads, Ashley taking a step back as they saw the elevator far above move down through the large glass tube.

Ashley's voice was tinged with amusement even as Tali saw two shapes within the elevator, one moving..._a_ _lot_. "Ten credits says they whined the entire session."

"Not the time to make bets I think..." Tali muttered back, finding a worm of worry in her gut as the elevator continued its descent, one of the shapes _continuing_ to move, an _armoured_ figure that could only be Michael, the other one's dress uniform no doubt meaning Anderson was with him.

"Uh oh..." Ashley muttered back, both women's head craning to watch in growing apprehension.

Michael was pacing within the elevator like a caged animal, the man's gestures sharp, wide...and _angry_.

Tali found a lump within her throat at the growing sight, seeing Anderson raise his hands, small gestures, obviously trying to calm Michael down...a Michael that spun round and glared at Anderson as he spat unheard words while making sharp gestures of anger that might as well have been shouting to Tali's eyes.

Back on Feros Michael's anger with Jeong had been focused, a low tightly controlled rage that had been sharply _focused_.

This was _not_.

This was _chaotic_, raging, hateful, frustrated...an _inferno_ threatening to burn _everything_ down.

She took a step back even _before_ the elevator stopped with a thump and opened up.

"And how the _hell_ do they _dare_ to order me to go somewhere after giving me that _shit_!" Michael's voice was hard and _loud_, so different that Tali at first didn't recognise it, it was boiling with an anger he _couldn't_ control...and that frightened her.

Anderson shook his head, frowning in worry: "Listen, it was just a recomenda-"

"The _hell_ it was!" Michael snapped, teeth bared in a snarl. "And after Virmire I guess they'll question my every decision _there_ huh!"

To Tali's right Ashley took a slow step backwards, the two women exchanging a frightened look.

"They didn't mean to-"

"Oh they meant every _word_!" Michael turned, marched two steps towards Tali, making her jump backwards, before marching back into Anderson's face. "I _almost_ had Saren! And instead of _pursuing_ they order me back so they can complain about me being _too_ _late_! That's a _fucking_ _insult_!"

Anderson didn't step back, but his face crunched up in...worry? His voice confirmed it: "Michael, listen, you're dangerously close to getting to that place aga-"

Whatever warning Anderson was about to utter was interrupted as Michael raised his index finger, the digit nearly touching Anderson's nose as the Spectre _snarled_: "I _saved_ the colonists! And they argue that I did it because they were _human_! As if that made it _wrong_!"

"I'm not saying that it-"

Another finger came up to join the first, Michael's face turning white with rage as spittle shot out from his mouth as he roared: "Killing the Thorian was _wrong_! They read my _report_! What the _hell_ was I supposed to do!"

"Michael, please take a deep-"

A _third_: "Oh but _sparing_ the _Asari_ was wrong! Because letting someone have a second chance and also spare a potential resource for information for later is a _bad_ idea!"

"You need to breathe-"

"I need to do _nothing_!" Michael gasped out the word, teeth bared as he leant over Anderson, almost resembling a monster of some nightmare than a human as his eyes blazed down at his Captain...who looked up with a surprisingly _sad_ look on his face. The Spectre's body trembled as a forth finger shot up, voice a tense growl: "Killing that..._bastard_...made them _look_ bad...yet it _saved_ his hostage...and he _would_ have been executed _if_ tried anyway...but that doesn't matter because it's their _look_ that is important..."

Anderson shook his head slowly, fear in his voice, fear _for_ Michael's sake: "Please don't go there again..."

Michael didn't even seem to hear the words, his glare boring into Anderson even as his body twitched with hatred...with a _fifth_ finger: "They had _already_ read my file...approved of my Spectre candidacy and then promoted me to that...yet _now_ they look at it _again_ and express '_concern_'..." A roar. "...of my _mental_ _health_! _Who's_ the insane one when _they_ bring _me_ away from my _mission_ for this bu-_bullshit_!"

"Michael please-"

"It's just _politics_! Them covering their asses! They don't _want_ me to succeed! They give me a _mission_ and then...then..." Michael twitched, head twisting sharply as they eyes burned in rage against the floor. "...it's all _wrong_!" His head snapped back up, snarling at Anderson: "I _know_ I god-damn don't deserve this position! But I'm doing the _best_ of it and I will _not_ be stopped by these _charades_ when _lives_ are at stake!"

"I understand if you're upset, it's too much like..."

"Don't." Michael growled the word, taking a step forward. "Talk." Another, making Anderson take a step back. "About." Then another, pressing his chest against Anderson's as he glared down at the smaller man, who looked back with such a sad face... "The _Blitz_."

Silence.

Michael and Anderson, standing against one another, one a raging monster Tali didn't even recognise, the other nothing but a tired old man all of a sudden.

Then, a new voice, female, cheerful: "Commander Sheppard! Commander Shepard!"

With the silence shattered all eyes turned to the voice...and Tali felt a fresh jolt of panic as she saw the dark-haired woman with her camera-bot come walking forth, a microphone in her hand. And _behind_ her...

_Keelah_...

"Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund news." The woman chirped with a smile far too polite for the predatory and conniving way she moved. "I understand you've just returned to speak to the Council in a closed session? Humanity would love to hear the hero of the Skyllian Blitz's take on it..."

_Oh_...

Tali's head snapped to shoot Michael a glance, watching the man's neck twitch as he with burning eyes looked at the reporter, stopping her in her tracks.

But not Conrad Verner, the man Ashley so thoroughly had described, his grin wide and innocent as he with arms wide brushed past the hesitating reporter while crying out: "Of course they do! He's a _hero_!" He wrapped an arm around Michael's shoulder as he turned to the reporter, trying to look casual despite his giddiness next to a man so white with rage that Tali could see the veins in his neck stand out as he glared down at the fool. "And the galaxy _needs_ heroes like him!"

..._this__is__not__good_...

"You..._know_ him?" The reporter asked with an arched eyebrow, though her camera remained off as she shot Michael a frightened look.

"_Of course_ I know him!" Conrad grinned. "_Every_ human knows of the hero of the _Blitz_! But _I_ actually know the _man_! And let me tell you, his heroism is far beyond the Blitz that you wouldn't belie-"

A choked cough.

Tali blinked, one moment Conrad was gushing about things he didn't know...the next Michael's massive fist was closed around his windpipe. The Spectre pushed Conrad away as he held him up by the throat, Michael's armoured arm moved...and Tali watched in horror as Conrad's feet left the floor.

"Do not." Conrad gasped, eyes wide in shock as he just hung there, staring down at Michael. "Talk." Then began to kick, mouth opening as he found himself unable to breathe, yet unable to dislodge Michael's grip on him or even get him to lower him back to the floor. "About." A tightening of Michael's grip...and Conrad's eyes shot up in terror as a low cracking sound escaped his throat. "The _Blitz_!"

Silence.

All staring at Conrad kicking in panic as he desperately tried to pry Michael's hand from his throat.

And then Anderson's voice, sharp, clipped: "Commander!"

Conrad fell to the floor with a gasp as Michael's hand opened, Michael's eyes blazing down at the kneeling figure clutching his throat...and then turning to one of horror as the gaze moved to his open hand, still twitching and half-closed, as if still wishing to choke the life out of the man.

A stillness, nothing but Conrad gasping, a choked sob escaping him.

And then Michael ran.

Tali stared, dumbfounded, as Michael leapt away, nearly knocking a passing Asari over as he in long strides flew towards the rest of the Presidium.

A moment later Ashley ran after him.

Hesitation.

Tali glanced back, finding the reporter bent over Conrad, her microphone lowered and camera rolling even as Anderson offered Tali a desperate look and a wave after Michael before moving towards the scene to no doubt try and salvage something out of Michael's disaster.

Then she too ran after him.

8

8

8

"Tali! The elevator!" Ashley's voice rang out, the sprinting human pointing ahead.

Tali, her breath loud in her helmet, saw the glass door ahead begin to close, and ran even faster even as she raised her arm, omni-tool aglow. "On it!"

The door stopped, her hacking befuddling it...and then Ashley crashed into the gap and pressed it wide enough for Tali to leap in under her arms...

A thump...and the door closed behind them as Ashley stepped into the elevator.

A drop of vertigo...and the elevator was moving down as Tali found herself turning towards their Commander.

He had his back to them, arms against the wall as he leant forward, head hanging between his shoulders as they shook with his deep breaths. His entire _being_ breathed..._desperation_, as if he was trying to run away yet couldn't any longer.

_Of course he can't, he's running from himself_...

Her hand reached out...

Only to flinch back as Ashley took a step towards the man, her voice soft, body _radiating_ caring: "Michael...talk to us."

Tali took a step back, head tilting forward and hands in her lap...and _watched_...small and insignificant in her corner. _It's for the best_...

"I..." Michael shook his head, shoulders tensing as he rebelled against the thought. "...no."

"Michael..." Ashley's tone hardened, though Tali could tell it was all an act, the woman was _full_ of sympathy...wishing nothing but to help Michael. _She'll be good for him_... It was a sad, but...nice thought. "...out with it, we won't _accept_ this any longer."

Resistance, Michael's body crumbling just a little bit."I..."

"_Now_."

Tali's omni-tool glowed as she quietly hacked the elevator...and its descent slowed to a crawl.

Neither human seemed to notice. Michael's head coming to rest against the wall with a small thump as his shoulders slumped in defeat, Ashley crossing her arms over her chest, face stern, an older sister trying to scold her sibling even as her body _glowed_ with the need to take care of him...

_I'll_..._just_..._listen__then_... Tali hunched up in her corner.

Silence.

A shuddering breath of Michael's.

Another.

The thump of his head against the wall, _frustration_, his body shaking with a struggle.

A third breath.

A slow exhale...

"Where I lived there were two kinds of people..." Michael's voice was slow and soft, all anger and resistance gone, it was as if he was telling a story to a child, innocent and harmless. "...criminals and victims..." A slow breath, a soft snort: "...I chose _not_ to be a victim."

Silence.

"For a while it was out of a need to survive, to feed myself and buy mother her drugs..." A thump of his head against the wall. "...and when she died of the drugs _I_ had given to her..." There was _no_ guilt in his voice, just..._acceptance_. It was..._eerie_. "...I did it for nothing but the power I felt. I began to _crave_ the respect and fear I got...the credits were almost not important any more."

Silence, Tali barely daring to _breathe_.

_Michael was a_..._criminal_? _But__his__mother_...

She felt confused.

A soft snort: "But then I went into a bar...and thought myself better prepared then five men..." His hand moved up, fingers touching the scar over his eye before sliding down over his chest. "...and was proven wrong..." And then, nearly not audible: "...should have died."

A small chuckle, the man shaking his head in disbelief. "Father Tobery had always lived in the area, the only man I respected without fearing, he was..._special_." A _small_ smile in his voice...then gone: "He saved my life that night...and when I came to two days later...he had his friend there, an Alliance recruiting officer."

Ashley shifted, the marine looking uncomfortable as she looked at Michael's back, without a doubt wondering about the Blitz.

But Michael didn't seem to notice, in fact he didn't seem aware that the others were there at _all_...he was just...telling a story to the air: "I wasn't an idiot, I knew my chances to survive were better in the army then staying in that hell-hole...I signed up without looking back...thinking myself clever, the tough Earth-kid would _never_ have any trouble in the Alliance..."

A soft shake of his head: "Such an attitude of being the toughest and meanest son of a bitch in the army is _always_ bashed out in training...except for me, I defied every try to teach me this. I was the strongest, most skilled and toughest, I, as back in Earth, needed_ no one_ else...and I made _damn_ sure the other recruits and instructors knew it."

Amusement, _sad_, but still there: "I made many enemies...and _loved_ it, seeing it as _jealousy_, as _proof_ of my strength and ability."

Silence.

Then a scoff: "But no promotions came, no _proof_ of my greatness as I was moved from garrison to garrison, never long since I always made enemies out of every single one of my officers there. And I just didn't _get_ it...I _couldn't_ understand why they wouldn't promote me, the best of the others."

Ashley shifted again, looking..._perplexed_, staring at Michael's back in bafflement.

A slow nod of Michael: "Not officer material, no knowledge of tactics, no connection to the men, nothing but selfish and destructive...and I _couldn't_ understand it...an _utter_ fool." His shoulders stiffened: "So I began to _hunt_ this illusive promotion...and was then given a _golden_ opportunity..."

Silence.

Then a small gasp escaped Ashley.

"Was on leave...a _Sergeant_ by then, but always craving _more_..." Michael shook his head. "...lucky me the pirates had prepared well, assassinating or delaying any officer above Sergeant to confuse the situation as they launched their attack on Elysium..." A choked little laugh: "...and I saw my chance."

Silence.

Something..._dangerous_ hanging in the air.

"Managed to get my gear along with ten men...them too fresh-faced to realise what a monster their Sergeant was...and we found ourselves at the entrance of one of the underground shelters for the refugees streaming in. The pirates had sabotaged the blast door, but we _knew_ what we were supposed to do, we had explosives enough to collapse it so they couldn't reach us until help arrived from the Alliance navy..."

A tiny laugh: "Of course...it's those who _fight_ that are promoted...those who _kill_ the enemy." A snort. "So I ordered the explosives out as mines...went into the shelter and began to preach of defending your planet and your people...even as I dreamt of my great promotion..."

Tali felt the colour drain from her face at the realisation.

_Keelah_..._no_...

"Rounded up fifty innocent farmers...gave them the weapons in our little armoury, no body-armour...and put them with my men as we waited for the enemy."

Silence.

Then Michael's voice, a harsh whisper: "And they _came_... a _horde_...swarming us like locusts, knowing the prize behind that thin little line of defenders..." A small snort that was as much a sob: "...I stood at the back...and _fed_ my untrained militia at the enemy in small groups to stall them long enough for the Alliance to come and pin medals to my chest..."

_No, please no_...

It _welled_ up within her, crashing through her affection, making it difficult to breathe as it like black oil filled her throat...

Disgust.

If a Quarian had done that...it wouldn't have ended in just exile, his name would have been stricken from the record of every ship...and it would have been right.

_To endanger so many_...

"I didn't even..._care_..." A snort, bitterness. "...until the last one fell at my feet, clutching his severed arm, bleeding out even as he _begged_ me not to let the pirates take his family..."

Silence.

"...only _then_ did I see it."

Silence.

"The pirates before me, unmoved by my useless defence and rushing forth...and the two _million_ unarmed people hiding in the shelters behind me...about to be taken into slavery and death because of my _vanity _and lust for _power_..."

_Loathing_.

Tali felt it squeeze her chest tight, shattering something within her as she stared at Michael's back in horror.

"I didn't hold that breach by virtue of _bravery_, _heroism_ or _determination_..." Michael shook his head, voice hardening into anger: "...I held it because I was _terrified_, _horrified_ and a _villain_...because I couldn't bear the thought of what would happen if I failed...if my failure had ruined so many..."

Tali felt her knees wobble, then fail, dropping her to the floor with a thud.

Michael didn't even seem to notice: "...I _made_ the breach."

Silence.

Then Ashley's voice, a tiny stutter: "B-but th-they..."

"Oh they paint me a hero." Michael scoffed, bitterness in his voice. "The Alliance was in an embarrassment about the Blitz, of the attack on those they were supposed to protect. And they _knew_ of what I had done...it was talk of court-martial..."

A slow shake of his head.

"...but then the _news_ heard of me...of my _heroic_ defence of the civilians...and the Alliance officers still throwing me hateful looks brushed my charges aside even as they promoted me and stressed my 'heroism' before every journalist in the galaxy...to cover up their own failure they showed off my far larger one as if it was the greatest of achievements."

Loathing.

It paralysed her, made it difficult to breathe as she stared at Michael in disgust, unable to fully register his words any more_. B-but I looked up to you_..._you've__been__so__selfless__and_..._it's__all__a__lie_...

"Always praise, _always_..." Michael snorted in disgust at the idea...and now Tali agreed. "...if they'd only realise, if they only realise who I actually _am_..."

_You're_..._loathsome_.

Tali felt as if her heart had given up. It wasn't _right_...it..._hurt_.

And Ashley still tried to talk as the elevator with a hum reached its exit. "B-but yo-you're so..."

"I'm _not_."

Silence.

Then a shake of his head as Michael turned about, his entire _being_ exuding..._defeat_..._pain_..._self_-_loathing_.

And for the first time in her life Tali found herself glaring at him in disgust.

He marched forth...and Ashley stepped out of his path as he brushed past the two women and headed towards the noisy wards outside: "Go back to the Normandy, that's an _order_...I...need to be alone."

"I..." Ashley reached out after him...only to lower her hand as she with a sad look looked down at her feet. "...it wasn't supposed to be like this..." Despite it all there was..._sympathy_ in her stance, not loathing, not even _disgust_, just _sympathy_...

Tali snorted in disgust even as she slid to her feet. _Endangering so many_..._he__deserves__none_...

She looked back after the disappearing shape of the man...and found herself grimacing in irritation. There had been too many strong emotions in his walk, too many _dangerous_ emotions...he _shouldn't_ be alone.

Yet he _deserved_ it...

But it was _dangerous_ for him to be alone...

Not that he didn't _deserve_ it...

She shuddered, shoulders slumping in defeat as her upbringing defeated her anger.

_I'm __not__ him, I don't fail my people_..

"Come on Tali...I...I think I need to go back and sleep..."

Tali's hand shot out, holding the door to the elevator before it closed, unable to look back at the sympathy in Ashley's stance – fearing her own reaction if she _did_ – and pressed herself out into the wards, voice a growl: "I'll catch up with you later."

"Tali..."

But the door slid close as she moved after the loathsome figure in the distance...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for managing to get through this one._


	36. Chapter 36

_Regroup_.

_No_.

_Mission_ _objective_...

_No_.

_Work_...

_No_!

The Wards was crowded and noisy, but not crowded _enough_ to make him see anything but those haunting faces...nor _noisy_ enough to drive out his own buzzing thoughts.

Thoughts that seemed to come _faster_ and _faster_...making his head spin and the words within becoming nothing but blurry fragments.

_Control_...

_No_, _can't_..._won't_...

Michael's arms came up, face crunching into a grimace of pain as he clutched at his head, his right elbow instantly hitting something.

"Hey! You-" The protest was muted to Michael's buzzing ears...and never finished as whoever he had bumped into saw the armoured giant with a small armoury on him marching on.

_Can't_..._hurts_..._it_ _hurts_...

_You're a soldier, you're_...

_Can't_...

A bump, another protest...and Michael felt himself shudder, panic nearly driving him to his knees for one frightful moment.

_Go_ _back_...

_Can't_..._they'll_..._can't_...

_Mission_...

_No_..._please_...

_Repent_...

_Can't_..._I_ _can't_...

He shook his head violently to the right, making a hazy shape dart away in fear of getting hit, then to the left, bumping into a droning Elcor.

He wanted to swing his fists at them, hit and kick and bite and _rip_..

But all he could do was clutch his head, his helmet feeling like a prison he wanted to rip off...yet he had forgotten _how_.

_Unacceptable_, _return_.

_Don't_..._please_..._no_ _more_...

_Duty_ _first_.

_I_ _can't_...

_Mission_ _first_.

_Too_ _weak_..._please_..._I_ _want_...

_Objective_ _first_!

_Rest_! _Please_, _rest_...

_Failure is __unacceptable__, go back_.

_I_ _can't_!

His hands moved over his face, darkness descended, trying to drown out the voices with the thumping of his blood in his ears, the bloodied and torn faces looking up at him, still with _hope_, belief in _him_ written in dead eyes...

_I_ _can't_ _do_ _this_ _any_ _more_..._please_..._God_..._I_ _can't_...

The faces of the mothers, the fathers, the sisters and brothers, stricken with tears for their fallen even as they _thanked_ him...thanked him for _rescuing_ them.

_Mission_ _is_ _all_, _focus_ _on_-

_Can't_...

The faces of the officers, badly concealed disgust on them even as they toasted him and pinned yet _another_ medal to his chest. Reporters and women, celebrities and fans...all _fawning_ after him, _worshipping_ him...

And what he once desired above all had become nothing but ash to him.

_Mission_!

_No,_ _I_..._no_...

_Saren_!

_I refuse_..._I_..._no more_...

He clenched his eyes shut, trying to add to the darkness made by his hands.

It didn't help, it _never_ helped...it only drew him deeper into the pit of darkness, made his being spin as he felt the walls within his mind collapsing with crashes reverberating through his shuddering body.

There were no tears, those were long spent, he didn't deserve them.

Only guilt. Guilt, shame and self-loathing.

He deserved all of it.

_I don't_..._can't_...

A bump, something unyielding against his chest.

The hands dropped as he forced himself to open his eyes and look up...and found himself looking up at the blurry shape of a Krogan. "Wrex?"

The large creature smirked at him, the blurry lines sharpening.

It _wasn't_ Wrex.

The creature's skin was a motley orange, eyes a bright green, as was the large crest atop his head that shone in the lamplight of the Wards. He bared a wide mouth filled with yellowing teeth...and his foul breath made Michael blink...as he with his scattered mind realised the Krogan was wearing armour.

_In the Wards_...?

"Commander Shepard..." The grin widened as the creature leant closer...and Michael felt a jolt of awareness slip back into place.

_Something is wrong_...

"...Saren sends his regards."

For the briefest of moments Michael's mind refused to connect the dots, mind too exhausted...then his gaze darted down...and he saw the shotgun pressed against his chest.

Then he was swept off the ground.

It was a dream...

He was flying, arms and legs stretched out before him as he hurtled backwards...and further away the grinning Krogan stood, smoking shotgun levelled even as the crowd around them ran, scattering in fright...

A moment later he heard the boom of the shot...and the screams, _people_ screaming, running...some crying out in pain as they were stampeded by the panicking horde...

The close ranged shot had smashed through shields and armour...yet Michael felt nothing but a small pressure against his chest as he flew...feeling...at ease.

_It's okay_...

A crash, a jolt of pain through his spine as his back struck a wall...and slumped back to the floor with a wet thump.

_Wet_...?

_Pain_!

He gasped, left hand pushing him upwards as his right moved to his chest, dropped head looking at the crater in his chest-plate, crimson blood pouring from it...

_Good_..._rest_..._I want it_...

_Unacceptable, you have a __mission_!

_No_..._I_..._no_..._it's okay_...

_Failure is __not__ acceptable_!

_Someone else_..._let_ _someone_ _else_...

_There __is__ no one else_!

All around the screams were mixed with moans of pains from those trampled...moans a part of his heavy breaths, of his beating heart...

_Not again_.

His right hand moved past his chest, finding his pistol and drawing it as he raised his head with a defiant growl...

_Pain_!

He flew back as the Krogan once again fired, his body spinning counter-clockwise with the impact against his left shoulder...and heard the splatter of his own blood against the wall as his back again slumped against it...before he fell onto his knees.

He gripped the pistol tightly, holding it like a talisman even as he ignored the white flashes of pain before his vision as he forced himself to look up...

The large room, once a market, now lay empty save two Asari, a Turian and a human...who lay in mangled pools of their own blood.

_My fault_..._my_ _responsibility_..._my_ _failure_...

_Not_ _again_!

His gaze shifted to the Krogan, finding the monstrous beast advancing with a slowness born out of cruel confidence...and bared his teeth in a snarl as his still functioning right arm moved up.

_Shields_ _too_ _powerful_..._new_ _target_.

He shifted his aim even as the Krogan grinned at his small weapon...

A single shot...and the Krogan's shotgun came apart in a flash of failing electronics.

The assassin looked down at the broken weapon in surprise, then up at Michael, the grin turning into a smirk...as he lowered his head and charged.

_Evade_-

He wasn't fast enough, his body too stricken to move...and he felt his pistol slip out of his hands as all air was driven out of him with the force of the Krogan body smashing his into the wall with a fleshy crunch, pinning his weapons against his back, and him against them...

_Evade_, _defend_..._can't_...

_Pain_!

He cried out, sharp pain lancing through his body from his chest as the Krogan's fist struck the deep wound...before both moved to grip his waist...and pushed him upwards...his feet lifting of the ground...

His hands found the Krogan's wrists, but the grip was like iron as the muscles beneath twitched...and Michael's cry turned into a gasp as armoured claws dug into his armour...

_Unacceptable_, _fight_...

His hands shot up, fists coming up against the Krogan's large eyes...only to meekly bounce off as the creature bared its teeth in disgusting snarl.

_Too_ _weak_...

A crunch...a tearing sound...and Michael's head shot back as a scream exploded from his shaking lungs even as he felt blood pour down his legs as the armoured claws dug into his flesh...

_Unacceptable_!

The head came back down, smashing the front of his helmet against the Krogan's face with a crunch.

A crunch of his helmet cracking...

The Krogan's green eyes flashed with glee as its head drew back with a grin of anticipation...

And Michael drew his right knee up against its chest, trying to stop it.

It was no use, the head came forth, the Krogan's bulk practically squashing Michael's thigh against his leg as the crest of the creature smashed into his face.

A crack.

Whiteness flashing before his vision.

And a crack as his helmet begun to split...

_Fight_..._fight_...

It hurt...he felt weak...his body distant...

_You have not yet repented_...

A growl, his _own_, and his right hand moved down to his calf, drawing the knife strapped to his boot...

_Pain_!

Again whiteness flashed before his vision, only fading slowly as he felt fresh air on his face as his broken helmet fell apart and down to the floor with a clatter.

The Krogan laughed, a distant sound that shook through Michael's dying body...and drew his head back...

It shot forth...

_No_.

Michael's head darted to the left, tilting his head out of the way even as he raised his knife, steadying the end of it against the wall even as he aimed the point out...

A fleshy crunch...and the Krogan roared as his head reared back, the knife buried just beneath his crest, orange blood spurting from the wound...and its claws _tightening_, digging _further_ into Michael.

His gasp was not his own, it was something of a dying creature, something unreal...yet he _willed_ his right hand up, catching a hold of the knife...and _pushed_.

With a tearing sound the knife moved down the left side of the Krogan's head, right beneath the crest until it struck the plates by its neck...and it roared out in anguish.

_You will __not__ stop me_.

Michael snarled...and cried out as he twisted the blade and pushed it upwards...

A crunch...tearing flesh...and the crest opened up, the large shell's sliced end lifting...and then falling down as the entire thing dropped to hang from the right side of the Krogan's head.

A _howl_...loud and agonized...and Michael's answer was but a weak cough as the claws in his flesh broke through to the other side...

He could _see_ it, the Krogan's _brain_ was a large lump of yellow flesh barely hidden under white strings of tissue...that was already growing more numerous as it began to regenerate even _such_ a grievous injury.

_I_ _will_..._kill_..._you_...

Another cough, blood exploding over his lips and chin...and Michael raised his arm, gore-covered knife aiming down...

And the Krogan growled as the claws began to _tear_...

His head rolled back...and Michael felt the knife slip from his fingers...

_Can't_...

White flashing before his eyes...

_I_...

A shrinking tunnel of it...

_Not_ _done_...

Darkness descending...

_Please_...

Silence.

Then a shudder, his vision, a hazy thing...and he saw the Krogan before him, the green eyes wide in panic even as the grip on his flesh slackened.

And the barrel of a shotgun against the Krogan's brain.

Tali's voice was one of _venom_: "Regenerate this!"

A distant boom...and the Krogan's skull exploded into orange gore.

He fell.

Darkness.

His knees against the floor, body falling.

Darkness.

"Shepard!" Panic in Tali's voice, small hands gripping him under his right shoulder, pulling hard to stop his fall.

Darkness

He swayed, his body so...distant.

Darkness.

"We have to get you to a hospital!"

Darkness.

_No_...

Darkness.

A shake of his head. "No...Normandy...safety..."

Darkness.

"But you're-!"

Darkness.

"Now..."

He pushed his legs upwards, knowing Tali couldn't carry him on her own...and stumbled forward.

Darkness.

"Keelah you're..."

Darkness.

Michael gritted his teeth...

_Primary objective: Reach Normandy and heal. Secondary: Kill Saren_.

...and banished the darkness.

_Failure is __not__ an option_.

8

8

8

_Thank you to Abydos Jackson for her constant help._


	37. Chapter 37

_God_...

Ashley stared – ashen-faced – at the mess Michael was, the medical bay of the Normandy silent save for the beeps of the machines surrounding his bed.

Stripped of his armour the man was..._less_. Dressed in only a pair of black slacks the man's chest was virtually _covered_ in the transparent film of Chakwas' bandages, the medi-gel within filling them to the point of _bursting_...and more was constantly being pumped in from three black tubes that snaked up to a machine riveted to the wall above the head of Michael's bed as his body absorbed the liquid.

Next to it another machine, a thin and tall on six wheels, stood, a transparent tube from its top pumping blood down to the where it ended in his right arm.

And that wasn't the end of it. At the foot of his bed a large squarish machine atop four wheeled legs stood, a full dozen vials of different colours at the top of it, most half-full by now...and an equal number of tubes sneaking out from its body, snaking over Michael's chest...as they pumped whatever that stuff was into Michael's bullish neck..

_He's so pale_...

The panic had settled now. Just an hour ago when Tali, covered in red and orange gore, had supported a near unconscious Michael aboard the Normandy...the entire ship had buzzed with _fright_, the ground team in particular practically clutching at him as they dragged him to the medical bay...

But now it was replaced by grief and a deeply sated worry, even in her own world of despair Ashley could sense the multitude of the crew hovering near the entrance to the medical bay, too afraid of Chakwas rage to enter, yet too worried to leave.

Only Ashley had been allowed to stay – Chakwas having given her one glance before gesturing for the chair on Michael's left – as well as Tali for some reason. _Guess she should be since she saved him_... Guilt and gratitude bore into Ashley's heart, making her clutch at her chest where she sat on the small stool next to Michael's bed.

_I'm_ _sorry_..._I_ _keep_..._failing_ _you_...

Before her Michael said nothing, his face eerily calm as he lay there, a pale ghost of the man he usually was.

His tale had changed _nothing_, he had _still_ saved her, _still_ fought Saren, he was _still_...Michael Shepard...and Ashley felt her heart squirm within her chest at the fearful thought of him dying.

With his bandages and the medi-gel being transparent she could see his injuries. The hole in his chest was a deep crater lined with broken ribs and red gore whose edges now showed a hint of skin returning...and made Ashley cringe every time her blurry vision focused on it. His left shoulder looked no better, white bone of the socket visible as strings of cartilage struggled to hold on...

And while the wounds just above his waist were smaller...the great amount of blood flowing from then – only recently stopped – had shown all too well the damage they had done to the organs below...

Ashley was a marine, and she realised that Michael would probably be okay, she had seen injuries like those before...and if death hadn't occurred instantly treatment would probably restore all.

_Yet_...she squirmed where she sat, dark thoughts making her heart flutter.

"He'll be okay..." She whispered the words, as much to herself as it was a plea to him.

"No thanks to you."

Silence.

Then _shock_, Ashley's stunned mind unable to comprehend the angry warble as she looked up from Michael's ruined body.

Tali was sitting on the other side of the bed, left arm protectively across Michael's chest, her right holding Michael's hand tight...and her silver eyes narrowed at Ashley in accusation.

"Wh-what did you say?" Ashley blinked, staring at the Quarian.

"You heard me."

"B-but..." Ashley cringed, a small gasp escaping her as guilt jabbed at her heart. "...he o-ordered us to...to..."

"You don't leave shipmates alone in that state, you _don't_." Tali snarled, the anger in her tone turning Ashley white with shame.

She looked away, head dropping. "No...you don't...I...no...I was just so _shocked_...thought you were too...thank you..." Ashley grimaced at her own words, shamed. _No, Tali is right, thank her properly_. She looked up at the Quarian: "...thank you for saving him, if you hadn't gone after him...he would have..."

_Wait_...

Ashley's words died in her mouth...as she _saw_.

Tali's left arm over Michael's chest, _protecting_.

Her right hand in his, holding on _tight_.

Ashley's jaw dropped. "N-no...th-that can't be...it's...n-not..." _I_..._no_..._she_ _wouldn't_...

Silence, Tali glaring at her over the stricken body of Michael.

And Ashley felt her face flush as the revelation shook through her. "You're...I can't believe...you..."

Tali blinked, looked down...and then away as she with a flinch pulled her hands away from Michael, snorting in disgust: "It's nothing to worry about any more, not after what he told us."

"Not after..." Ashley swayed...and she realised she was standing, mouth moving as she struggled with words: "...you've been..." _Betrayal_. "...nothing to worry about! You've been _lying_ to me!"

Tali crossed her arms over her chest, still looking away, her warble tinged with anger: "Didn't say anything, it's not important, _never_ been, and now it doesn't exist."

"Not _important_!" Ashley felt her face heat with anger as she leant over Michael's bed, her fingers digging into the mattress as her eyes blazed with rage: "You've _listened_ to me! I _confided_ in you! You _knew_! And all the while you were...you _bitch_!"

"I didn't want to tell you!" Tali looked up as she snarled, then back down again as she shook her head: "It wasn't...important."

"So instead you kept quiet!" Ashley roared, shaking with the betrayal singeing her insides. "Instead you _listened_ and _plotted_ and _pretended_ to be his and my friend while you made your own plans!"

"It wasn't like that!" Tali still refused to look at her, enraging Ashley further with her pathetic protests. "I just..." A shrug.

"It _wasn't_! Well how _was_ it then!" Ashley spat the words, her whole body shaking. "When I confided in you what did you think! When I felt so _hurt_ about him avoiding me how did you..." No! She gasped. "...you _whore_! Bet you wanted nothing but for me to get together with _Kaidan_! And you agreed to watch over him for me since I _couldn't_! But all the while...how _could_ you!" She gasped again, hand moving to her heart as something within it..._broke_.

_I thought of you as a sister_...

A whimper. "No..." Tali's head bowed even further, the Quarian's shoulders slumping as her hands moved down to her lap as she shifted where she sat. "...I wasn't planning any...I didn't mean to..."

"_What_! _What_ didn't you plan! _What_ didn't you mean!" Ashley gasped the words, her lungs failing her as she struggled with a rage and pain that squeezed her chest into a ball of darkness within her. Another gasp: "To _hurt_ me! To _betray_ me! To _trick_ me! To _steal_ him!"

A soft little sob, a whimper, the Quarian's head bowed low: "To...ruin it..."

Ashley felt a sting of sympathy, then the rage welled over it, the fire of it turning into freezing block of ice, a painful weight in her chest filled with bitterness and betrayal.

She sat back down with a thump, eyes narrowed at Tali.

Her voice was dry and cold, her mind clamping down on all emotions: "Well...you _did_."

The Quarian's head tilted up a fraction of an inch, voice a soft sob: "_P_-_please_..."

And Ashley glared back: "Go to hell."

Silence.

A deep, _cruel_ silence, only interrupted by the faintest of sniffles coming from Tali's helmet.

Ashley's heart was cold, her gut cold...as her veins burnt with the betrayal of her friend.

_My_ _friend_... Ashley glared at the Quairan. Y_ou treacherous little suit-covered bitch_...

A thump...and the door opened to reveal Liara and Chakwas as the two women entered with furrowed brows.

"Liara..." Ashley's anger was instantly pushed into the back of her head as she looked down in shock at Michael as the man's eyes opened a fraction of an inch...the eyes distant and confused...yet _sensing_ the Asari.

At the moment Ashley couldn't care less about the disgusting implication of what the melding might have done, all she could do was to feel her shoulders slump as she gasped out in relief, afraid to say anything to disturb the man's awareness.

"Shepard..." The Asari came closer, glancing at Ashley and Tali with confused eyes for a moment...before focusing back on the man: "...I know you're injured but...I also know you'd want to hear this..."

The smallest of movements, the man's hand lifting half an inch from the bed...

And Liara nodded with a small smile. "Yes, well I've been doing research, seeking information...it's _amazing_ how close it is to archaeology...you just have to find the _latest_ fact and work..."

Michael's lips curled into the smallest of smiles...and Ashley smiled widely. _He's_ _going_ _to_ _be_ _okay_...

"...oh right, apologies." Liara's cheeks turned a little purple, as she cleared her throat. "I was going to say I found where my mother is...Benezia is at Noveria...doing research for Saren..."

Silence.

Then a minuscule cough of Michael's, his voice a hoarse sliver of its usual strength: "Tell Joker...course for Noveria..."

The Asari nodded slowly with a weak smile, but still tilted her head to the side: "But the council said..."

"I take your directions over theirs..." A long pause...the man's eyes dull as his neck twitched. "..._any_ day..."

"Thank you...Shepard." A hesitant little nod from Liara...and the Asari silently walked away, head bowed in thoughtfulness.

"Good, now onto more important things." Chakwas grumbled, the doctor's eyes narrowed in sternness as she walked up to the foot of the bed, gaze darting down to the many vials by the machine there before looking back at Michael, hands coming down on the edge of the bed as she leant forward to focus on him with narrowed eyes. "You are _very_ lucky to be alive."

"I...know." Michael whispered, head turning a little to smile at Tali...who with a sniffled snort looked away...making the man look away with a hint of regret in his eyes.

_Good_.

Ashley glared at Tali, _daring_ the woman to look at Michael, to forgive him, to _anything_.

Nothing came though, the Quarian looking down at her lap, her entire _being_ projecting _defeat_.

_Good_!

"The wounds are _not_ what I'm talking about." Chakwas growled, the doctor shaking her head. "_Yes_ they were severe, _yes_ it's amazing that you didn't die of either shock or blood-lust, _yes_ your force of will is impressive...but that is all _nothing_ compared to what my readings found."

A jolt of worried energy in Michael's eyes, instantly gone as his body slumped in his bed.

Ashley looked to Chakwas, fresh worry digging into her. "What do you mean doctor?"

"I _mean_ that I've _never_ seen a case of a more severely drugged person then Michael here." Chakwas growled.

Silence.

Ashley felt all colour drain from her face as she with big eyes looked to Michael, barely aware of Tali doing the same as the man closed his eyes, a lips curling into a grimace of regret.

_God_..._not_ _that_ _too_...

"You have enough stuff in your system to kill a horse, Michael..." Chakwas shook her head, sighed. "I'm amazed you've been able to walk around with all of that..."

"It..." Michael's whisper broke a little. "...kept me up...working well..._need_ it..._efficient_..."

"It will also burn you out in a couple of years and most likely turn you into a broken wreck of a man..." Chakwas crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at Michael...only for her features to soften. "...which you _knew_."

Ashley couldn't help it, her voice croaking the question: "Why Michael?"

His gaze was distant, looking up at the ceiling, not seeing her as he whispered: "Need to be efficient..._perfect_...must _know_ all...be _prepared_ for all...can't..._fail_..."

_Heroic fool_...

Ashley bowed her head with a shake, heart swelling with sympathy as much as admiration...and mixing with the feelings of Tali's treachery until she felt her head spin with emotions.

_It's just too much_...

Chakwas voice was hard and stern however, a rock in the sea of emotions tossing Ashley's soul about: "Well I don't care what it does, it ends here."

"You...can't..." Michael's protest was nothing but a whimper.

A snort from the doctor: "You are stuck here until you've healed _Commander_...and I'm going to _use_ that time to clean your system, whether you like it or not you will be clean when I'm done with you."

Ashley blinked, feeling her eyelids remove tears she hadn't known about as she looked up at Chakwas: "Thank you, doctor..."

"It's what I'm here for." The elderly woman smiled motherly at her...then gave Michael another stern look that almost drew a relieved chuckle out of Ashley.

_He's going to be okay_...

On the other side Tali looked up, about to say something...only to shirk away as Ashley shot her a glare.

_And __you_..._I'll be keeping my eye on you_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continued support._


	38. Chapter 38

"You're here almost as much as Ashley."

Garrus looked up from the reader, from which he was reading up on the new exchangeable heat sink the Alliance navy was apparently experimenting on, and smiled, pleasantly surprised to find Michael's eyes open and for once not murky with drowsiness.

"Well I have to keep an eye on my Commander, see if he recovers in time." Garrus' smile turned into a smirk even as his gaze darted down to Michael's chest.

_Amazing what modern medicine can do_.

With it only having been two and a half days the sheer wrapper was still around Michael's chest, and _still_ filled with medi-gel. But there were no crater now, no white bone sticking out from a gory mess, only white scar tissue which even as Garrus watched was beginning to fade.

Of course it wasn't _amazing_ exactly, the Normandy's med-bay – like everything else on the ship – was state of the art, not to mention adapted for treating human marines...and while doctor Chakwas herself was _modest_...she was _clearly_ one of the best.

A crack of cartilage as Michael's mouth opened _wide_...and a yawn escaped him as a strapped down arm struggled to reach up towards the large mouth.

Finally he managed to speak: "How long was I out this time?"

Garrus shrugged, setting down the reader on the bed next to him before pivoting on the stool he sat on to face Michael. "Almost a day or so, have to say you're looking _much_ better now."

"I feel better too..." Michael offered Garrus a pleading look. "...so could you...take off these straps?" He nodded down to his body where black straps had secured his arms and legs to his bed after the first day of his recovery.

Of everyone on the ship only Joker and the ground team knew of his drugs, the others just thinking him injured...Garrus was glad Chakwas had chosen to share that information, it had made it easier to understand the needs for the straps...

"I..." Garrus scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he grimaced. "...don't think the doctor would appreciate that."

A smirk...and Michael nodded: "Great, the entire ground team is apparently scared of an elderly woman...that doesn't inspire confidence you know." A minuscule shrug: "Oh well, could you at _least_ scratch my nose for me then?"

Garrus chuckled and shook his head in amusement: "_That_ I can do." Reaching out he placed a clawed finger against Michael's nose and moved it up and down the oddly smooth flesh.

Michael's eyes closed, his shoulders slumping. "_Ahhh_...that's the stuff...you know it never itches until you can't reach it..."

Garrus' chuckle turned into a small laugh: "Yeah, tell me about it." He let the finger scratch a bit longer against the nose of the human, just to be sure, before leaning back.

Michael's eyes opened, the man offering Garrus an honest smile. "I'm clean now you know, Chakwas is just being careful."

"Yeah, like you wouldn't do the same." Garrus smirked. "And sure, you probably are considering all the stuff she's pumped into you...I'm surprised you even have any _blood_ left in those veins...but one can never be too sure." He shrugged. "Besides, I think she does it as much to give you some rest as anything else."

"Yeah..." Michael nodded, head dropping back onto his pillow as his eyes closed. "...probably..."

Silence.

Garrus watched Michael, the man's chest moving regular in slow breaths...body relaxing.

Most of the time since they had left the Citadel Michael had been asleep, the man at times waking up, at first just to mumble a few words, then slowly getting more coherent as his body recovered.

The others had taken turns to watch over him, which Chakwas had _barely_ consented to Garrus remembered with a smirk. And Michael was right, mostly it had been Garrus and Ashley that had sat by him, both worried despite them knowing he'd recover. Liara had also been there a lot...though seemed less bothered, even finding some sort of...calm in seeing him. Wrex had been there once, declared that Michael would make a full recovery, then left. Tali on the other hand hadn't visited _at all_, the Quarian practically _living_ down in engineering by now. _And woe betide those who bother her_... Garrus grimaced, a hand moving to his head, _still_ feeling the slight dent in one of his head-plates.

As to Kaidan – Garrus grimaced at the thought – he too had visited, with the regularity of _clockwork_ – _of course_ – not too often though, the man wouldn't want to bump into _Garrus_ after all... Being there for Michael of course got within his 'being a goodie two shoes' idea...but wasn't part of the book, and also distracted him from uselessly batting his eyelids at Ashley...

_I hate that guy_.

"You're scowling again." Michael's voice made Garrus look up, finding the man's eyes open once more, lips curled in a smirk: "How about a _happy_ thought for once?"

"Sorry Shepard, just thinking about what happens when we reach Noveria." Garrus replied with a shrug, seeing Michael's arched eyebrow he felt compelled to add: "Well if you don't recover soon I have to take command, that would prove...interesting."

"How long until we reach Noveria?"

Garrus shrugged. "Ten hours or so."

A small nod from Michael as he eased back against his pillow, a pleased smile on his lips. "I'll be fine by then."

"I don't think Chakwas-"

"Chakwas is a _doctor_, you know what they're like..." Michael snorted. "...a few aching ribs isn't going to kill me." A small shake of his head, then a wry look as he looked back to Garrus: "And what makes you think _you'll _be in charge?"

A wry look Garrus returned in kind: "Shepard, _please_...who else? And don't say Kaidan or I'll bite that nose of yours off."

Michael laughed, a good, honest laugh, the weariness from last day _gone_: "You _really_ don't like him do you?"

"He's honest, noble, by the books kind of guy, he'd obey any order, no matter how stupid he'd think it is." Garrus replied evenly. "He'd make a perfect C-sec man or even a Turian." Garrus grimaced, the memory of a displeased looking father all too fresh in his mind. "If he overpowered Saren he'd arrest him on the spot and try to get him to the Council for trial, if Saren then broke free and killed a thousand people he'd still do the same thing the next time, proud over his nobility and adherence to his ideals." He scoffed, easily seeing it before him.

Michael's words were soft, yet carried a hint of amusement: "And you?"

Garrus shrugged: "I'd shoot him on the spot."

"Heh..." Michael tilted his head to the side, nodding. "...I'd probably do the same."

"Which is why _I_ am second in command." Garrus retorted with a chuckle. "Don't make me get it in writing, I'd hate to hurt an already injured man."

"Yeah, right." Michael chuckled back, smirking. "But don't worry, I'll be fine by then, wouldn't want you to command Kaidan around anyway, bad for morale..."

"Oh I'd solve that." Garrus grinned, watching Michael's arched eyebrows with amusement. "I'd just have to order him to take point every single turn until..."

Michael's smile _instantly_ faded: "Not funny."

Garrus flinched. "Right...sorry Shepard...over the line."

"Right." A short nod, and Michael's smile was back: "So I guess you have an opinion on all...this?" He nodded at his strapped down body.

Garrus hesitated and looked away. So far Michael had been too out of it to have such a conversation, but since he'd brought it up... "The Turian army don't mind drug-use as long as it doesn't affect performance negatively..."

"Oh?" Michael's voice was carefully neutral, _waiting_.

Garrus looked back to Michael, almost irritated with the earnestness in his own voice: "But I've seen _thousands_ of those dying in drug-overdoses or become nothing but husks in C-sec...it's _not_ a good path Michael, efficiency be damned."

Michael met his gaze calmly...then slowly looked away. "I know..."

Dammit. "I won't stop you if you intend to take it up again Michael, but..."

"I won't."

"Oh?" Garrus blinked, surprised.

Michael still didn't look back at him, gaze instead at the ceiling as he spoke: "It's efficient yes, I hadn't slept in...a week I think before that injury..." A slow shake of his head. "...but while the injury didn't kill me the chemical imbalance nearly _did_...Chakwas apparently had to fix it before she could even _treat_ me properly..." Another shake. "Injuries in combat are highly likely, can't risk drug-use to do more damage then necessary, the risk is too big."

"That's..._one_ way to look at it I suppose." Garrus admitted with a smirk. "Thinking about your own health was _also_ an option...but whatever works I guess."

"So what's happening out there?" Michael nodded towards the distant door. "Have only seen you and Ashley for a while now..."

"Oh not much, same old preparations and such..." Garrus shrugged, then gave Michael's arm a small bump. "...and yes Ashley does come by quite often doesn't she? Quite the mother-hen; how was her soup?"

Michael grimaced. "Annoyingly good and invigorating...you should have _seen_ that smirk of hers when I took that first spoonful..."

"I can imagine." Garrus held back his own grimace, knowing all too well _why_ Ashley had practically thrown herself into taking care of Michael.

She and Tali hadn't said a _word_ to each other since they had exited the med-bay together...but the way the two threw glares at one another whenever they met – cold enough to make those around them shudder – left no doubt about their friendship being one of the past.

_Should I have said something when I realised what was going on_? Garrus frowned, then shrugged. _Probably wouldn't have helped, and only dragged __me__ into that mess_..._women_.

At least the number of times the two saw each other had rapidly declined with Tali retreating to the engine core. The Quarian was suddenly _very_ busy with _this_ and _that_ detail...tinkering with each and every part of the Normandy to the point that the human engineers were complaining about a lack of work. Not that they did it to the Quarian's _face_...her growing sullenness might be cute at first sight...but it rapidly turned into outbursts of things being thrown when she was bothered... and Garrus for one did _not_ want to make the acquaintance of another wrench.

"And there you go scowling again." Michael scolded. "What is it _now_?"

"Well..." Garrus hesitated. "...you know _why_ Ashley's taking care of you like that right?"

"No, no." Michael shook his head, eyes rolling upwards. "I'm blind, deaf and stupid you see..."

"Riiight." Garrus shook his head, then tilted it at Michael: "So what's the problem? I for one find human women a bit...too _sturdy_ for my tastes...but judging by Joker's comments she's apparently, and I quote: 'a babe'." _Aren't babies small and fat_? _Why would humans compare women to something it's illegal to have sex with anyway_...?

"She is." Michael admitted with a wink, then a smirk: "But _never_ call them 'sturdy' when they're in earshot..." _Very_ _noted_...The mere thought of calling down Ashley's rage made him shudder. "And she's also..." Michael looked away. "...good, she has..._everything_ I'd..." A shake of his head.

"So what's the hold-up?" Garrus grinned, a hand slapping down on Michael's shoulder. "Go get her...erm...tiger isn't it?"

"Heh, yes, it is." Michael smiled, then shook his head again, eyes fixed on the ceiling: "Can't though, not that regulations are important or anything...but the _reason_ for them is." He looked back to Garrus, gaze steady: "There must be _no_ distractions, nothing that at a vital moment...could make me do something stupid."

Silence.

Then Garrus nodded. "_That_...I can understand." He offered an uncertain smirk: "I'll watch your back from seductive marines then..."

"Good..." Michael chuckled. "Keep that rifle loaded just in case."

Garrus hesitated, then smirked: "If you're feeling pent up from staying away from her we can always go to Omega, buy you a few dances..."

"Garrus!" Michael laughed, head shaking even as it continued: "That's...haha...awful! You're as bad as Joker!"

"What? I'm just saying that we've already pissed off the Council by not following their directions...what's a little side-trip then?" Garrus smiled, enjoying the relaxation, and more importantly, _Michael_ for once looking relaxed. _He's earned it_...

"I'll have you know Asari don't really do it for me..."

"Damn it."

"What?"

"Now I have to tell Ashley to stop giving Liara the old stink-eye."

Michael laughed. "I think it's against the bro-code to stop a brewing catfight..." Then a look of concern. "...but yes, I don't want fights on my ship, especially when they're unnecessary."

Garrus couldn't reply, only shake his head.

_You have no idea_...

8

8

8

_A thank you goes out to Abydos Jackson._


	39. Chapter 39

"Spectres are not welcome here."

The team was gathered in the communications room, all sitting before Michael as he stood before them with his hands folded behind his back, the familiar stance keeping him rooted in the present.

He managed a calm smile, with the debriefing and mission objectives gone through he had had no problem focusing, and even now, with it nearly over, he felt firmly in control of himself.

His ribs ached, but that was easily ignored, it was a bit more difficult to ignore the cold bead of sweat running down his back though, the slight shudder in his muscles...

Chakwas had done wonders, but despite his arguing with her he _knew_ he wasn't _completely_ clean...his body _still_ felt the need for..._help_. But he had _meant_ what he'd said to Garrus, he wasn't about to start again, and he was used to combat _far_ more powerful mental issues then the need for some chemical.

_The mission takes priority, focus on the mission_...

He blinked, slowly, letting the words sink in...and opened them, calm once more.

_The mission_ _is_ _all_.

He held onto his smile, refusing to acknowledge the slight twitch in it. "So there will be no Spectre."

"Commander?" Kaidan asked, the man leaning forward with a curious look on his face.

"There is more then body armour in my closet." Michael retorted, _holding_ the smile. "A nice suit, a briefcase...and I'm an investor coming to Noveria on business. A trojan horse if you will."

Garrus blinked: "What does a horse have to do with it?"

Michael's smile became a bit easier to hold: "I'll tell you later. Now an investor needs some assistance, but I can't well bring all of you or it'll draw attention..."

He let his gaze move over the assembled team. _Need a tech_...his gaze instantly fell on Tali...the natural choice.

Only to see those silver orbs narrow into slits as the Quarian crossed her arms over her chest and leant back in her seat, loathing written across her stance.

Regret.

It was a curious thing...Michael had _desired_ disgust and loathing for what he'd done, but now that he _had_ it from her...he regretted telling _her_.

_No, a Quarian would attract too much attention_.

It was an excuse, he knew it, but Michael stuck to it as his gaze moved to Garrus...whose eyes shone with eagerness. _No, too undiplomatic, don't know to stay quiet in situations of delicacy_.

He looked over to Kaidan: "Alenko, you're up, I want you in a business suit and a suitcase, you're to be my secretary."

A quick nod: "Yes, Commander."

And Ashley chuckled: "Oh I _got_ to see this..."

_I __do__ need extra muscle_... He looked to Ashley, finding her eyes shining mischievously at Kaidan, then look up to him, her eyes softening just a little. _No_, _too_..._distracting_.

"Wrex, you're to be armoured and ready with me." The eyes of the woman dulled a little with disappointment, then for some strange reason shot Tali a cold look.

_Strange_...

"Yes, because an armoured Krogan won't draw attention." The mercenary chuckled at Michael.

Who smiled back: "A Krogan bodyguard for the oh so important man with the money? No one will look twice."

A short nod, the Krogan baring his teeth in a grin: "_True_, and I've done that a couple of times."

"Good." Michael's hands moved in front of him, clapped together. "Then I guess-"

"Commander." He blinked, gaze moving to the chair at the furthest left, just slightly further away from the others...where Liara sat with her hands tightening in her lap. Her gaze was steady though, chin held high as she looked up at Michael, only something moving just under those eyes showing the emotional storm beneath the façade. "If I would be so bold as to request that you'd bring me along?"

"Yeah right." Ashley snorted. "As if Michael would take such a risk-"

Michael met Liara's eyes...and _knew_...with each passing melding he _knew_...she understood him as he understood her...they didn't _like_ all they saw or felt...but they had _accepted_ it. And while Liara in her heart wanted to see her mother again, to try to convince her to give up, to save her...her _mind_ knew it was unlikely to happen. But if Benezia was to die...she wanted to be there, if nothing else but for closure.

A short nod and Michael replied: "Very well, you could be a contact with Binary Helix and your mother that is to introduce me there, go put on a dress."

"What? You're actually..."

Michael silenced Ashley with a look. _My command, my decision_.

She narrowed her eyes back at him, holding his gaze, unabashed, unfazed...and Michael felt himself swallowing at the sight.

"So if we run into trouble and I'm the only one with weapons and armour..." Wrex rumbled, drawing Michael's gaze away from Ashley.

To his shame he breathed a sigh of relief when he looked to the Krogan: "You can carry a lot Urdnot, our gear will be carried by you in a bag, you'll trip the weapon detectors anyway."

"And when they move to check said bag?" Wrex chuckled.

"I'll get us through." Michael shrugged. "Not the first time I've tricked a custom officer." _Earth, feels like another life_... "Garrus, I want you to prepare the rest of the team and the Normandy for any potential emergency drop if we need assistance."

"Yes, Commander." Garrus replied with a nod, gaze barely flickering to Kaidan, who stubbornly looked up at Michael.

_Team tense, bad for mission, should attempt to fix it, but later, mission takes priority_...

"Dismissed."

8

8

8

"This is an outrage!"

Michael, standing in the waiting room of the administrator's office, waited with an even face, ignoring the pleased smiles of Kaidan and Liara, as well as Wrex's amused smirk, as he waited.

Reaching Benezia had proven impossible for the investor Michael Pandora...administrator Anoleis had proven helpful if a bit short in tact when he'd explained that Benezia and Saren had left for Peak fifteen a week ago, and that Saren had left the day after that, his work apparently done.

Sadly that had been the end of the help as Michael had decided to continue to pursue Benezia, given that he didn't _know_ where Saren might go...not only were communications with the base impossible due to the current storm outside...but _physically_ going there had been out of the _question_ due to Noverian privacy contracts with the companies that were their customers...

So he had tried playing the Spectre card...only to be even _further_ stonewalled as Anoleis had more or less thrown Michael out of his office...

Anoleis, however, was apparently _not_ the big defender of the companies he was in charge of...as his 'assistant' Parasini so calmly had explained when she had stopped him from leaving Anoleis waiting room...

Michael had had a choice then...Anoleis was dirty...and Michael _knew_ that dirty men paid well for being caught...say a pass to Peak fifteen?

But dirty men were also _unreliable_...prone to betrayal...and Michael prefered to keep his back clear.

So it hadn't been a difficult choice at the end, it had been a bit more work...but getting the testimonies of several company managers of the way Anoleis had squeezed money from them hadn't been difficult, even if convincing them to work with the Noverian executive board that Gianna Parasini _really_ worked for had been a bit more difficult.

Shifting where he stood Michael felt a shadow of a smile appear. _Feels good to be back in __armour again though_. With their cover so swiftly blown Michael had had everyone suit up, just in case Anoleis had one of his guards '_accidentally' _fire off a round...

If necessary or not wasn't important, it still felt...better, he was a soldier...and in armour was where he _belonged_. He hadn't realised how much he felt that way until he'd been stuck in medical bay for those agonizing days...

A small crash and he looked over to the glass doors of Anoleis' office, seeing the Salarian uselessly kick and toss in the grip of two Turian guards that dwarfed their former boss as they with carefully neutral looks on their faces dragged him from his desk and towards the door.

Behind them Parasini ambled after, the red dress she wore looking oddly out of place with the pistol in her right hand and the cocky grin across her soft features. To Michael she looked vaguely Italian or Spanish...but he was sure she didn't know of such things, that with most people out in the galaxy now being either spacers or colonists...

The doors opened with a thump, making Anoleis' voice almost painful as he shrieked: "I'll get you for this! I'm not finished! I'll-"

A muted thump...and a pained cough escaped Anoleis as the butt of Parasini's pistol struck him square in the face, her voice velvety sweet: "You have the right to remain silent." Then harsher: "_Use_ it."

Behind Michael a chuckle escaped Wrex.

The Salarian coughed again, mouth moving fast, yet no words escaped him as his alien eyes stared at Parisini in shock...then to Michael as he was dragged past him. A moment of staring...and Anoleis' eyes turned small: "_You_! You did this!"

Michael crossed his arms over his chest, looking back evenly: "Blame yourself."

A shriek that might have been a Salarian roar...and Analois went quiet as one of the guards dragging him sighed...and slammed his gun into the back of the Salarian's head.

"Thank you, Shepard." Turning, Michael looked to Parasinin who with a smile deactivated her pistol and moved to lay it down on the table she'd used during her cover. "You probably saved me a couple of _months_ of work..." A shake of her head before she turned back to him, grimacing. "...and I'd have to wear a dress _all_ that time."

Michael assumed a winning smile automatically. _Keep it pleasant, achieve pass, mission requires it_. "At least it's a nice dress."

The grimace turned to a smirk. "Easy there boy, don't give me ideas even _before_ the celebration."

_No time, subtly reinforce your need for the pass_. Michael smirked back: "Alas I'm afraid there is no time for celebrations for me, a Spectre's work is never done, but it's good to know I have allies and friends on Noveria..."

Parasini chuckled, shaking her head as she saw through his words: "Don't worry Shepard, a deal is a deal." Reaching back she pulled out a drawer in her desk...and held up the pass. "To Peak fifteen wasn't it? You're more then welcome to go there, the Noverian executive board is under _enough_ scrutiny _without_ housing a traitor to the Council."

"Thank you." Michael took the pass, and felt his smile turn a little more honest. _Primary objective complete, onto the next mission_. "You've been most helpful."

A small chuckle, Gianna smirking: "That's what allies are for aren't they?" _Coyly_. "Now don't be a stranger..."

Then she ambled past him, after the unconscious Anoleis and his guards...and Michael looked after her, mind calculating. _Attraction useful to further trust, no need to act, but can be used to strengthen cooperation with Noveria over any backlash from engaging Benezia, will also ensure that our back remain clear as we move to Peak fifteen to engage_-

Then his helmet beeped, reminding him that the rest of the team was watching what was happening back in the Normandy...and Ashley's voice through the com-link, short and irritated: "Are you going to keep staring at her ass, _Commander_...or put that tongue back in your mouth and get to work?"

"Chief!" Kaidan snapped, though with a chuckle. "That's _highly_ inappropriate..."

In the com-link there was nothing but a muted grumble.

_Dammit_...

A sigh, Michael feeling annoyed as he began to walk, momentum lost.

_The mission is all, focus on the __mission_...

"Move out."

8

8

8

_Thank you to Abydos Jackson for enduring this one._


	40. Chapter 40

Peak fifteen was quiet as a tomb.

For a tomb it was.

Ashley watched through the screens in the Normandy's cockpit as the four of the ground team slowly advanced into the quiet installation, their cameras and drawn weapons panning left and right as they went, yet finding no opposition.

The emergency lights were the only source of illumination in the large room they were currently ghosting through, the dark red light creating ominous shadows in every corner. Judging by the benches and tools by the walls it had been some sort of workshop, perhaps for shuttles landing...but since the ceiling above was cast in darkness there was no way to tell if it could open. What Ashley _did_ know however was that such a place was supposed to be filled with _noise_, clanging and shouting...

Not..._silent_.

Not that it wasn't painfully clear as to _why_ it was silent...the dark stains on the floor were pitch black in the red light...pools of stagnant blood.

There were no bodies though, only _more_ dark marks, _more_ blood.

"Tram station two rooms away." Michael spoke, voice cold and calm...and Ashley found her shoulders drop with a tension she hadn't even noticed.

_He's_ _in_ _control_..._don't_ _worry_.

Just to be sure she checked the screen below his camera's...and indeed his heartbeat was calm and regular, as if he was doing nothing but taking a stroll.

Next to his Kaidan's was slightly more elevated, though far less the Liara's, whose heartbeat was like a drum...though Michael's words seemed to calm it, if only a little.

Surprisingly Wrex's heart rate had increased, the Krogan's camera panning left and right as the mercenary glared at every dark corner, a sniffing sound escaping him. "Do you smell that?"

"What is it?" Kaidan muttered, on Liara's screen the soldier walked tensely just behind Michael, pistol raised and ready, a hint of biotic power around his arms, _ready_.

"_Something_..." Wrex growled. "...it stinks...makes me...angry."

"Control yourself." Michael glanced back, cold blue eyes meeting Wrex's camera...

The Krogan snorted: "Don't worry, I'm no pup fresh from the teat." Ashley grimaced at the mental image. _Wrex_ _as_ _a_ _pup_..._eugh_. "But there _is_ something here...something I want _dead_..."

"There is a surprise."

Next to her Garrus snorted at Ashley's words, arms crossed over his chest and shaking his head in amusement, she shot him a smirk...a smirk dying as she once more noticed Tali on the other side of the cockpit, the Quarian demonstratively ignoring her as she looked up at the screens, eyes narrowed.

_Why is she still around anyway_? _She should just leave if she __now__ despises Michael_... Ashley glared at the helmeted head. _Fucking_ _liar_...

Michael's head turned back forward, towards the closed door ahead. "Hold formation and stay alert."

A levelled rifle...and he advanced.

They had almost reached the door when Kaidan's head turned: "Commander...over there."

Watching Kaidan's screen Ashley saw his hand point out towards a dark shadow to the left of the door...a shadow not soft or ominous, but sharp and..._shaped_.

Michael was there a moment later, the man crouching down as the flashlight in his helmet was turned on to illuminate...

_God_...

Ashley grimaced as next to her Garrus shifted in uncomfortable silence, Tali mirroring it. From the screens Ashley could hear Liara gasp in fright even as Kaidan muttered under his breath.

In his seat Joker looked away. "And there went my appetite..."

"Dead human." Michael noted, tone calm as always, not a hint of worry in it as he continued: "Head missing, one arm missing, ribcage opened, several organs missing, torn apart, still fresh."

"Something has been _eating_ him..." Wrex growled, the Krogan's heart-rate increasing along with the hint of anger in his voice. "..._something_..."

Liara shook her head, the Asari pale in the red emergency lights as she hugged her shoulders. "Whatever it is-"

Then she shrieked, jumping back and face turning upwards.

Michael rolled forward, came up to one knee and levelled his rifle upon the thing suddenly dropping from the dark ceiling and onto where he had just stood.

_What __is__ that_!

Michael fired...and the thing twitched with an alien shriek of pain as it spun to swing at him-

Only to falter as Wrex stomped a heavy foot down on its body, pinning it against the floor...and fired off a heavy shotgun round into it, spraying green gore everywhere.

Silence.

Michael slid to his feet, the camera becoming cocked with his head as he approached the corpse.

Even sprayed with its own blood the creature was easily discerned as some sort of big insect, with four legs and another two acting as arms the creature had a curved body that went upwards and then forward, ending in a five thick claws that hid a small mouth. Two tentacles atop its ridged body now lay slack on the floor, both ending in three flat blade-like claws.

_It looks like a shrimp. A big, alien, vicious_..._shrimp_.

"What _is_ that?" Kaidan asked, giving voice to the thoughts of everyone.

Except for Wrex, the Krogan breathing out a snarl: "_That_ is a Rachni, the creatures the Krogan fought for the Council until we were no longer needed."

Liara, now calmer than she'd been before the appearance of the creature or even them entering the facility, approached it, curiosity in her tone as she prodded the fallen creature with a foot: "I thought the Rachni were extinct."

"Apparently not." Wrex growled, _anger_ in his voice as it went low: "They sent us to destroy those creatures, then destroyed _us_ with their science, and now they want to _use_ their science to bring the Rachni _back_? It's an insult to every Krogan that died..."

"We'll stop them." Michael stated, interrupting Wrex's heated growling with his cold calm. "If Saren wants Rachni we'll destroy them, if they are infesting this facility, we'll destroy it."

Silence.

Wrex's camera moved, the Krogan looking down at the dead insect...then back up at Michael. In Michael's camera the blood red eyes shone, but his voice was ever the calm rumble: "Damn right we will."

A nod...and Michael moved to the door: "Move out."

It thumped open, revealing a long corridor ahead, the red emergency lights above making the blood _covering_ the floor look like a black _river_...

Kaidan's heart jumped on the instrument for just a moment: "I think the Rachni caught up with a lot of fleeing people here..."

Ashley found herself nodding in agreement, her lips feeling dry as she stared at the group moving down the corridor, each step followed by a wet sound as the blood stuck to their boots.

Annoyingly Liara almost seemed _calmer_ than Kaidan now as she said: "At least we now know what we're facing."

Wrex shot a glare back at her: "That would be good if it _wasn't_ Rachni."

"She's right, Urdnot." Michael retorted, the marine on point as they moved towards the door at the other end. "And I want you focused."

"Of course." Wrex retorted with a scoff, but still shot Liara another glare.

Suddenly Garrus was taking a step forward in the cockpit, his plates moving as he crunched up his face in worry: "Commander, if you take the tram to the main labs any reinforcement from us would take _hours_ to arrive, perhaps you should wait so we can come in to assist?"

A pause, Michael stopping for the briefest of moments, and then a shake of his head. "No time to wait, situation clearly critical, numbers meaningless in cramped spaces anyway."

A grumble...and Garrus stepped back. "Yes, Commander."

Forcing a smirk Ashley thumped an elbow into the Turian's side: "He just wants all the kills for himself, you know him."

Garrus' smile was alien and one of fangs...but honest. "That _does_ sound like him, always _unprofessional_..." The smile turned to an alien smirk.

Michael's tone was as cold as it was ignoring their joke: "Keep the line clear."

A small laugh bubbled out of Ashley...and then Garrus as he with a shaking head looked back to the screens: "Yes Commander, complying."

Their shared grin died as the door before the ground team opened.

The dozen Rachni before them hadn't yet noticed the new arrivals, the creatures busy tearing apart the already broken remains of a number of people on the small waiting hall before the parked tram.

Most of the benches had been bowled over, the once clean floor covered in dark blood...and now being splattered with fresh gore as the creatures, with frenzied shrieks, tore the remains of whoever had left the tram into pieces.

_They're_ _mad_...

Ashley watched in horrified fascination. The creatures tearing bites and shearing claws sent blood _flying_, pieces of flesh and even _limbs_ along with it...the monstrous insects seemed to _revel_ in the destruction...leaving as much of their prey in torn pieces as they were eating of it...

Even as Ashley watched one of them scampered after a shorn arm, clawed arm spearing the limb in front of it with a shrill cry bit the hand off, its bites _frenzied_ as it began to chew...

Then it staggered, Michael's shotgun tearing its head off in an explosion of green gore and broken exoskeleton.

The others looked up...shrieked...and were sent flying to all side as Wrex with a roar thundered into the crowded group, his heavy bulk crushing two to a pulp as his shotgun gutted a third one.

One leapt at Michael...only to be pulled away from him with a snap of breaking bones as Kaidan, still aglow with his used biotics, stomped it into the floor and poured five shots into its shuddering body.

The remaining seven whirled to face Wrex as the gore-covered Krogan spun to face them, eyes narrowed in rage...

Only for all seven to cry out in shrill shrieks as an orb of dark blue energy appearing above them pulled them upwards, gravity no longer applying to them as Liara, covered in purple fire, levelled her pistol and riddled one of them with shots.

Shrieking in defiance the remaining six aimed their tentacles towards the Asari, their clawed ends opening...revealing small holes at the bottom.

The green streams shooting forth made Liara jump aside with a cry, her spinning camera showing a brief image of the floor where she had stood bubbling as the hits ate away at it... before she with a gasp rolled onto her back and aimed up at the still flying Rachni. "Acid!"

Instantly all four of the ground team opened up...and the six Rachni were torn apart in a brutal cross-fire.

Silence.

The corpses lazily spinning in the air, their lifeblood pouring out like leaking balloons...and then they dropped to the floor with a wet thud as Liara's singularity faded.

Michael was instantly by Liara's side, hands reaching down to help her up, making Ashley grit her teeth even as she shot Tali a look, but the visored helmet offered no reaction. "Injured?"

"No...missed me." Liara replied, the Asari's voice shaking, then a shrug as she got to her feet. "I believe the Rachni are worse off."

"Did you just..." Michael blinked, a hint of amusement in his cold face all of a sudden. "...say 'you should see the other guy'?"

A small chuckle escaped Wrex, the Krogan stomping down on the head of a Rachni, breaking it into a pulp even as he smirked at Liara. "Heh, maybe she's tougher then I thought."

On Michael's screen there was a hint of a blush on Liara's cheeks. "I am not a violent person..."

"Yeah, tell it to the Rachni." Wrex retorted, the smirk widening a little.

A dutiful chuckle escaped Kaidan, but his tone remained serious: "I wouldn't be so confident, who _knows_ how many Rachni they've made? And if they've taken over the station Benezia might already be dead."

Liara's heart-rate doubled instantly, the Asari's hands closing into fists on Michael's camera...as the man's own heart-rate made a little jump. "Primary mission objectives is to secure Benezia and any information she has, secondary survivors, we are running out of time. Alenko, that tram looks damaged..." He gestured towards the tram...whose insides did looked trashed...most likely the work of a frenzied Rachni. "...can you get it operational?"

The Lieutenant cocked his head to the side and took a step towards the tram...and nodded. "Yes, Commander, the damage looks superficial, give me two minutes and the computer will be operational."

Michael's heart-rate dropped, his voice calm: "Good, get to it."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	41. Chapter 41

_Threat_ _neutralized_.

Michael pushed forth, armoured boots crushing Rachni limbs under his weight as he took point down the long, and now gore-covered, corridor.

"Why did they do that?" Kaidan muttered the question. "Just jump out of the floor like that...but right in _front_ of us...they had to know that's suicide by now."

"No one said Rachni were smart." Wrex grunted, the Krogan's heavy footfall right behind Michael as the mercenary followed.

"Rachni war suggests otherwise." Michael noted, taking in the slaughtered dozen of Rachni with calm eyes. _Fourth time, assaults sporadic and disorganized, blind rushes without any concern for survival, none have retreated_. "Their behaviour is different from what reports from the war suggests."

A shrug from Wrex: "I'm not complaining."

_Agreed_.

"Perhaps this behaviour, if it is unusual as the Commander says, is tied in with their escape of the facilities containment procedures?" Liara suggested, the Asari had been quiet for a long time now, but when things could be analysed...Michael _nearly_ smiled.

"So they manage to escape...and lost their minds?" Kaidan asked. "Sorry but that doesn't make sense."

"Or perhaps their minds were lost already." Liara retorted. "If so the assumption that they _are_ intelligent would perhaps have given them a window to break free, Saren was breeding these Rachni to fight for him after all, can't imagine they were supposed to be mindless."

"Irrelevant, we will find out soon enough." Michael snapped, silencing them as he moved closer to the door ahead, hand reaching out towards a gutted Rachni leaning against it...

Only for the door to open and drop the corpse inwards.

"Don't move!"

_Danger_.

Michael's shotgun was up, instantly finding the shouting man's head in his crosshair as he took a step into the new room, then one to the right, letting Wrex crush the dead Rachni under his bulk as the Krogan too stepped into the room.

There were three of them, a dark-skinned human between two nearly white Turians. All with their armour stained with old Rachni blood and with their rifles levelled at the newcomers, their eyes wide as they pressed themselves against the improvised barricade of boxes they had set up at their end of the room, a small semi-circle around the doorway to another corridor.

_Colours of armour suggests binary helix guards, defences set up suggests more survivors behind them, their limbs are shaking_..._exhaustion mixed with stress_.

The eyes of the three guards widened at the sight of the Krogan towering over them...one of the Turian's twitching in a way that made Michael all too aware of his own..._thirst_.

_Focus, mission takes priority_.

He lowered his weapon and took a step forward, his voice slow and calm: "Don't point guns at us, we're your rescue."

"I...I..." The human, obviously the captain of the guards, shook his head, eyes dim as he looked at Michael, arms twitching, unable to comply, the stress and fear keeping the weapon up even as logic argued against it.

Another step forward, Michael aware of the others in the team filing out behind him, ready to fight if need be. _Won't be a need to fight, soft words needed_. "We are not Rachni, we came with the tram, we can get you and any other survivors out of here..."

"I...okay." The man lowered his gun...and the two Turians followed his example, their shoulders slumping, all energy going out of them as they leant against their barricade, clearly desperate for rest.

Michael holstered his shotgun, hearing the others in his team do the same as he moved forth until he stood just at the other side of the barricade: "How many survivors are there? What happened?"

"We're still not sure...they just broke free...they were supposed to be docile..." The captain's eyes hardened for just moment...then softened as his shoulders slumped: "...the doctors were wrong..."

"Survivors Captain? How many survivors are there?"

A shake of his head, the man's eyes dim as he struggled to think: "M-maybe...three dozen? Half are guards...the rest scientists...none who seems to know anything..." A soft snort. "...guess those close to the project died when the Rachni got loose...serves them right."

"How did they manage to create Rachni in the first place?" Liara dared asking, but Michael didn't shot her the glare he wanted, holding the Captain's eyes, not trusting the man's loyalties just yet.

"Found an egg...or so I hear." The man shrugged, then shook his head. "So they made their little queen, locked her up...and now her children are rampaging the place...can't say I blame them."

_Queen, large Rachni, problematic_. "Where is this queen? Have they freed her?"

"No." The man shook his head, brow furrowing in confusion. "As far as I can tell they haven't even _tried_..." _Theory of their mindlessness probably correct_. "...but then again she's locked up pretty tight down in the hot labs...we think the Rachni have made their hive down there, but who knows? I just shoot them when they appear..."

"Hot labs?"

"The labs for dangerous experiments, it's down below, highest security clearance and all that..." The man explained, wearily shaking his head. "I thought Benezia went down there with her Commandos to stop all this...but nothing has happened."

Liara gasped...and Michael ignored it as he leaned forward: "Benezia is alive? And in the hot labs?" _Primary_ _objective_...

"Yeah, last time I heard from her." The man shrugged in disinterest...only for his eyes to flash as he looked at Michael: "Why do you care? Who _are_ you anyway?"

_Lie_? _No_, _unnecessary_, _shock_ _and_ _awe_. "Commander Shepard, Council Spectre and charged with the apprehension of Saren Arterius and his allies."

The man blinked, staring, dumbfounded.

One of the Turians snorted. "A human Spectre? Yeah right."

"That _is_ right." Michael retorted, narrowing his eyes at the man. "_Private_."

There was a flinch, the Turian straightened...and looked away.

"Saren...?" Looking back Michael found the Captain's eyes narrowing. "Benezia works for...you're going to _arrest_ her!" He reached back towards his gun-

And Michael's hand clamped down on his arm even as everyone else in the room were suddenly drawing their weapons, eyes darting left and right in readiness for the fight moments from starting. Keeping his voice low and calm Michael pretended not to notice though, eyes fixed on the dim ones of the tired Captain: "Think _very_ carefully now...how much does Benezia pay you? Enough to be killed by me and my team? Or by the Rachni she let loose?"

"I..." Hesitation, not only by the captain, but by the two Turians at his sides, the two exchanging weary looks.

"We have gotten the tram working again, but have also ensured that only _we_ have access to its computer." Michael continued. _Fight unnecessary, arguments sound, will work_. "We, when done here, will leave...along with _any_ survivors. So I'm _asking_ you...would trying to kill me – a Spectre on a Council-approved mission – and my team, be a _good_ idea?"

A blink, slow and weary. "N-no..."

"No, it would not." Michael agreed, nodding slowly even as he held the man's dim eyes. "Instead I _suggest_ you give me access to these hot labs, tell me how to destroy these Rachni, and wait for us to escort you and the other survivors to the tram."

"That sounds...good." The man slumped in Michael's grip, nodding eagerly if tiredly even as his two guards lowered their weapons. "I'll open the hot labs right away...Benezia is down there with the queen..."

"Would killing the queen stop the Rachni?" Liara asked even as Michael let go of the Captain and took a step back.

The man struggled at the loss of the grip on him, nearly falling atop the barricade as he blinked away the tiredness: "Don't think so...they...the scientists say that if the Rachni were taken from her at birth...yet they still _live_..." A shrug. "There's the self-destruct though."

In Michael's helmet there was a sigh, Ashley's voice a mutter: "Oh this is just too much, zombies, giant bugs and now a big red button..."

_Heh_.

Michael smiled.

_Focus, mission_.

The smile died. "Self-destruct?"

"Yeah, in case of critical contamination..." The man looked around with a tired shrug. "...looks like we got that covered...well then you can go down to the central core and manually flip a switch...and turn this place into a crater."

"That sounds...dangerous." Kaidan muttered, doubt in his voice.

"Well it's only for _critical_ problems..." The Captain pointed out with a sigh. "...you're not expected to survive anyway then." A shake of his head. "Even less so considering that the Rachni seem to have made their nest right down there..."

_High risk, loss of life probable, Rachni must not leave facility however_..._should_... Michael glanced back and found Liara looking at him, her eyes sad.

He looked away. C_urrently a non-issue, will deal with when primary objective is secured_. "It won't be a problem."

The Captain arched a questioning eyebrow...and Michael was _sure_ the team at his back did as well...all but Liara. "If you say so..."

Michael squared his shoulders, a jab of annoyance making him snap his next words: "Show me the way to the hot labs."

"Yes..." The Captain hesitated, then took a step back and gestured for Michael to follow. "...sir."

8

8

8

"Kill the lights."

Michael glanced back, watching as Kaidan with a swing of his glowing omni-tool overloaded the lamps along the corridor, darkness descending upon them an instant later. Even in it however he could sense Kaidan's and Liara's questioning looks. Not Wrex though, the Krogan understanding the need for every precaution. Asari commandos had a reputation of power and lethality...one every unsealed record of their actions confirmed again and again.

"Radio silence from now on, keep low." Michael muttered...before his hand moved towards the door ahead.

Silently it slid open...and the team instantly slipped into the new room, Michael sliding to the left as Wrex stopped up front with the two biotics to his right, all crouching, tense and ready as their eyes took in the new room.

The room was squarish and _large_...each wall a hundred feet in length, walls that were covered in black pipes and cables that ran downwards and in the darkness of the room nearly looked organic. The walls were also _tall_, the ceiling was high above, concealed in darkness...and the team were standing on a grilled floor showing the way the walls continued twenty feet below their feet...to a purple liquid covering a floor glowing with dim lights. The liquid was perhaps ten feet deep...and bubbling ever so slightly.

_Acid_?

In regular intervals the grilled floor they stood upon opened into squarish holes that were surrounded by metal walls reaching to Michael's abdomen...and above the holes themselves large cages of blackened steel hung in chains reaching up into the darkness of the ceiling...all with their gates hanging open.

_They grew Rachni here_. He glanced down at the liquid below his feet. _With security measures, acid likely_.

Michael counted a total of twenty-five such cages. _Less than Rachni numbers, initial growth chamber and then transport to another part of the facility_? He shook his head. _Irrelevant_, _focus_.

Keeping still he shot Wrex a questioning look...who sniffed at the air before shaking his head. _No_ _Rachni_, _then_- He raised his hand to order the advance...only to stop, his own nose twitching as he smelled..._something_.

A sniff...and he frowned. _Flowers_?

He glanced upwards, the ceiling telling him nothing, the walls...everything was _still_.

_Yet_...

Another sniff...and his hands moved to free his sniper rifle.

_Perfume_.

He nearly snorted at the foolishness...yet gritted his teeth in tension. _Arrogance does not imply them being incapable, caution_.

Three quick gestures with his free hand...and the team moved.

Kaidan and Liara moved to the right, the human a step in front of the Asari as they moved past the first hole before taking cover behind the wall of the second, the two guarding one corner each with eyes wide in an attempt to catch any movement.

Meanwhile Michael ghosted to the left, taking cover behind the first wall he came upon and dropping onto one knee as he readied his sniper rifle, keeping his eye away from the scope as he craned his head around, trying to spot the foe.

Wrex on the other hand moved forward, in a crouch the Krogan was still large...and looked painfully inviting as he slowly moved forward down the centre of the room.

As ordered.

Neither Kaidan, Liara or Michael spotted the foe first though. Instead it was Wrex who suddenly dropped flat on the floor as he called out: "Two o'clock!" A moment later a shot rang out, a heavy calibre bullet smashing into the grill next to Wrex's foot.

Michael saw the small movement of an arm as the sniper – hidden among the tubes along the right wall – ejected her spent shot and instantly aimed down the scope...

A brief glimpse of an Asari's head...and the rifle jumped against his shoulder as Michael fired.

The wet thump of the Asari commando falling down onto the grilled floor was nearly lost in the sudden bark of assault rifle fire as five commandos at the other end of the room appeared from their cover to blast away, forcing a grunting Wrex to roll into cover with orange blood running down his thighs.

Michael swung his rifle around...only to have it smashed out of his hands, a dark blue haze of biotic power dazzling him as the attack exploded in front of him as the rifle fell over the railing and down into the acid.

_Above_-

Michael moved on an instinct drilled into him for years.

Dropping onto one knee he raised both arms in a cross over his face...and heard the crack of his gauntlets blocking the attack even as he felt himself pushed down by the force of the impact as an Asari dropped from the ceiling, her dark leather armour covered in a haze of biotic power as her two chopping hands found his gauntlets instead of his neck.

Her hands twisted moving to stab their biotic charge against his eyes...only for him to shoot upwards, his arms coming out and then in, wrapping around the commando's thinner arms, pulling her closer...and then slamming his helmeted head into her face.

She blinked, dazed...and Michael released her arms and crouched low, his hands finding her ankles.

He pulled...and the Asari shrieked as she was pulled off her feet and over the railing of the wall, falling after Michael's rifle head first...

A splash of her dropping into the acid...and the shriek stopped.

His shields flared with several impacts...and Michael dropped back into cover, hands already moving to free his own assault rifle as he looked about to see what was happening.

Wrex was taking hits, the commando's had been disciplined and let him go almost halfway down the room...and now the five were moving to encircle him from three directions. Their darting shapes were nothing but shadows as they moved from cover to cover, their assault rifles spitting stinging hit after hit on the growling Krogan as they wore him down.

To his right Kaidan was firing on something he couldn't see, the man looking bewildered.

_Where's_ _T'soni_?

Coming up Michael drew a bead on the Asari duelling Kaidan from her cover...and her shields failed with a flash from the volley against her back.

She rolled away from the flanking fire...only to cry out and cough blood as Kaidan's pistol took her in chest, dropping her dead a second later.

Liara was further away, the Asari standing with legs wide as with a grimace of concentration she held out glowing hands to each side, a purple beam of energy from each hand holding the dark blue of two commandos on each side of her at bay...

But even as Michael watched the commandos were starting to gain the upper hand, Liara faltering against the two foes...

His shields flared...and Michael dropped back into cover. "Alenko! Covering fire on me!"

A moment later he spun around his cover and ran, his shields flaring with an impact before Kaidan's pistol forced the shooter down...before the covering fire was cut to an abrupt stop.

_Down_.

Michael leapt forward, watching as the five commandos ahead came up to aim at him...and rolled down behind the cover of another wall.

Looking back he saw no sign of Kaidan...only a glowing commando silently dropping from the ceiling where the man had been.

_Prioritize_ _target_.

Having moved further in Michael didn't have to drop out of cover to draw a bead on Liara...nor her two assailants.

Two bursts...and two sets of shields flared.

The two commandos faltered, instinct driving them to try and seek cover...only for Liara's biotics to slam into them with loud crunches, sending both hurtling through the air, limbs flailing wildly, both nothing but rag dolls now.

Ahead Wrex grunted, then growled as he broke cover, his orange blood splattering over the floor even as he rushed forth, leapt...and jumped right over one of the holes and atop a cursing commando.

The Asari rolled away from the charging Krogan, her biotics flashing against him...only for Wrex to bash the attack aside with his own glowing hands. Hands that an instant later gripped the woman's shoulders and pulled her closer...

A crunch...and Wrex spat out the head of Asari even as her still twitching body dropped to the floor.

A moment later another flash of biotics sent the Krogan flying, cursing loudly even as he crashed into a wall, only to roll behind it with a low groan.

_Urdnot_ _nearly_ _down_, _Alenko_...

Looking back Michael found the man on his feet once more, his shields flaring as he with a raised hand deflected a biotic push from the Asari advancing on him, her entire being suffused with power as she moved to destroy him in close combat...

Kaidan's own powers flashed forth...and were deflected with a derisive snort of the Asari.

Scrambling back Kaidan once more raised his hand, deflecting yet another flash of biotic power bashing against his flaring shields...before his omni-tool glowed amber.

A flash of white...and the Asari began to run towards him as her shields were shortened out, teeth bared in an irritated snarl as she darted forth like a puma.

Kaidan's desperate push of power was smashed aside by the powerful biotic...before she stumbled to a halt, Kaidan's other hand holding his smoking pistol.

The commando stared at him in shock...and then twitched as another four shots slammed into her chest, sending her twitching body tumbling backwards.

_Holding his own_.

He looked up...and found his head swimming as a foot struck him square in the face.

Rolling with the force of the impact he came to his feet, rifle coming up in time to block another kick as the Asari that had managed to flank him spun round with her leg flying, her hands behind her back and freeing a shotgun.

_Evade_.

Dropping and rolling to his right Michael barely avoided the blast of the Asari's shotgun._ She's shielded, engage in close quarter_.

Michael's rifle swept from right to left, bashing her smoking shotgun aside before the butt of his rifle took her in the shoulder, forcing the weapon out of her hands even as her leg swept at his back, knocking him against the railing and making his own rifle fall onto the floor as he was forced to grip the railing or fall over.

_Right_ _flank_.

He moved left, trying to keep his eye on both his current foe and the second commando coming in from his right with her biotics flaring...

Only for the flanking Asari to cry out as a powerful blast of biotics smashed into one of the cages above its hole, the force of the blast snapping the chain it hung in like it was nothing and sending the heavy cage flying into the commando with a crunch of breaking bones.

His foe darted forth with a low kick...and Michael jumped back, left hand pushing the foot down before he spun clock-wise and sent his right leg swinging against the commando's head...but hitting nothing as she darted backwards, her brow furrowed in concentration as Michael did the same. _Fast, not as strong, less reach, bioticaly charged, skilled, keep close_.

Another appeared on his right...only for her shields to flash as Kaidan overloaded them...and then flew backwards in an explosion of blood as Wrex's shotgun found its mark.

_Two left, where's the second_?

There was no time to focus on it though, Michael ducking under kicking leg glowing with biotics, his own sweeping round...only for the Asari to gracefully do a back-flip over his attack.

Michael didn't let himself be impressed however as he leapt forth, fists a storm against the Asari, her wrists deflected the brunt of the impacts sideways...but she was still forced backwards...towards the railing.

_A little further_...

Michael gasped, a surprisingly strong arm suddenly around his throat as the second Asari leapt onto his back, legs coming round his waist as she with a nearly animalistic hiss forced his head backwards with the force of her arm's pull...

The one before him bared her teeth in a grin, lunged, and stumbled as Michael's foot shot out and caught her in the jaw as he bashed the back of his head against the face of the Asari on his back.

The woman held on though, grip on his throat tightening.

_That was a mistake_. He gripped hold of the Asari's arm across his throat, his right hand moving down as he dropped onto one knee._ A foolish mistake_. His knife came free, up...and the Asari gurgled as the blade slammed into her neck.

Ahead the last one was aglow with biotic power, leaping forth...

And Michael shot forth from his kneeling position, the knife coming free in a spray of blood...

His left wrist deflect her right fist, his head ducked past her left...and his knife slammed into her chest.

A gasp...and the Asari's hands moved to clutch at his shoulders, eyes widening, mouth opening in a silent question...and then she slid off his blade, down his armoured frame...and dropped to the floor.

Michael looked up, head turning left and right. "Ambush neutralized." Sheathing his blade he looked to the others. "Status?"

Liara and Kaidan exchanged a look, then looked down at the corpses around Michael's feet...before Kaidan shrugged: "Merely bruised ready when you are Commander."

"I as well." Liara echoed, breathing out as she looked around herself. "Never thought I'd fight commandos...or _win_..."

Michael ignored her, the enemy were dead, their relative skill was unimportant now. "Urdnot?"

A growl, a clawed hand coming up onto a railing as the Krogan lurched to his feet...

Wrex was _covered_ in orange gore of his own blood...but the red eyes were calm as he regarded his already healing wounds. "I'm fine, had worse."

"Then..." Michael hesitated, seeing Liara's sudden shudder as she realised what was to come.

_The mission is all, focus on the mission, all else irrelevant_.

The thought wasn't as comforting as it had once was, but it helped.

"...move out."

8

8

8

_Thank you to Abydos Jackson for having time with this despite the time of the year._


	42. Chapter 42

_Objective_ _spotted_.

The room they entered was large as well, the grilled floor under their feet still ten feet above the bubbling purple acid. This room was better lit however, lights built into the ceiling casting a pale white light over a room where computers on desks and trays with various lab equipment lay strewn around haphazardly...and ignored by the one inhabitant.

_Not one, two_.

The Rachni queen stood in a massive jar of reinforced glass at the far end of the room, the container suspended above the acid by steel arms descending from the ceiling. The massive creature was like one of its children, only _far_ larger...and its scales purple in tint rather then brown. The big alien eyes glowed white...as the head turned to look at them with a slight cock of its head.

_Contained, currently irrelevant_.

In the far left corner there was a closed door...a red warning sign riveted to the wall above it. _Likely elevator to self-destruct mechanism and Rachni nest. _He felt a jab of apprehension at the sight, but shook it off._ Secondary concern, irrelevant until primary objective is complete_.

Michael's gaze moved away from the creature to the other one in the room, to the primary objective.

She had her back to them. Standing before a desk in front of the Rachni queen's cage the Asari looked like a queen herself in her regal dress, her movement slow and measured as she picked up a glass of water from the table and brought it up to her mouth.

_Danger_.

Michael raised his pistol, jaw clenched as he heard Liara whimper.

A sip...and the glass was put back onto the table, Benezia's voice hushed and calm: "Saren said you would come." She turned, head held high, looking down at the group confronting her. "He also said you would be too late, and you are...he knows the location of the Mu Relay now, you cannot stop him..."

"You know it too." Michael retorted, holding Benezia's gaze while keeping his weapon trained on her, well aware that her arms still hung limply to her sides. "And you are going to give me that location..." He nodded towards the computer behind the Asari's back. "...or your _computer_ will, you've lost, surrender." He glanced back at Liara, finding the woman wringing her hands, the pistol at her hip forgotten. _Please_...

"Lost?" Benezia shook her head, smirking. "You _cannot_ win against the storm that is coming...you _cannot_ win against Saren..._you_ are the one who has lost...my death will _not_ change that." A flare of biotic power in the woman's hands. "_If_ you can kill me."

_No body armour, no weapons, only biotic power, she cannot win_... Michael frowned, puzzled. _Surely she understands this too_...

"Mother, _please_..." Liara's voice, always so calm and logical, _shook_. "...we can _help_ you, you don't have to _do_ this..."

A derisive snort, Benezia shooting Liara but a glance before looking back to Michael: "That's your plan? You think the presence of my daughter will stay my hand? You think me _that_ weak-willed?"

"You...mother..." Liara shook her head, then took a step past Michael, hands held before her as her voice quavered: "...you've always looked to the _future_...how could you help _Saren_ if he wants to destroy it? This...this isn't you."

There was a glint in Benezia's eyes...then a darkness, face twisting into a mask of anger: "My daughter, always stumbling in the darkness, unable to _understand_...even unable to understand her own _mother_." Liara flinched, the words like a blow. "You left me _decades_ ago child, don't pretend to understand my motives, your words are that of a weakling, I raised you to be _strong_...obviously I _failed_."

"W-why a-are you..." Liara stumbled a step backwards, but straightened before Michael could move to assist, her back straight as she faced her mother, even as he voice broke:"...sa-saying these things? Y-you...aren't th-there any more...are you?"

"I made the difficult choices you could _never_ have, _don't_ judge me." Benezia snarled, the regal mask in her stance cracking as she turned to Michael, revealing something..._feral_. "You cannot break me Spectre, you and your..." She shot Liara a disgusted glance. "..._allies_ are nothing but dust to what the future holds."

"I repeat, surrender." Michael aimed for the Asari's head. "_Now_."

A laugh, low and foreboding, escaped Benezia, her head tilting back. "You _cannot_ break me Spectre..." Only to come back, revealing eyes afire with biotic energy. "...but _I_ can break _you_!"

Her arms shot forth...and Michael found himself jumping back at the sight of the _massive_ beam of dark blue _power_ hurtling at them...

Only for Liara to step in its path, hands raised...and the massive bolt exploded outwards as it raked a purple field of biotic energy suddenly around the group.

A hiss...and Benezia took a step forth, more energy rushing forward, nearly blinding Michael as it in a flash of white streamed against the field where Liara stood, the beam breaking up in fiery tendrils of dark blue energy that snaked their way out and around the rest of Liara's field, like something living trying to break in...

Liara gasped, her arms shaking as she stood in front of the group, as if holding up a great weight. Her voice shook even more though, strained, gasping: "M-mother...p-please..."

Michael's pistol moved up to aim again...only for him to hesitate, gaze drawn to Liara and her desperate struggle, every fibre in her struggling to hold Benezia at bay, to _reach_ her mother...

A growl and Benezia advanced even further, her beam glowing an almost icy blue now, vibrating with power as it hurtled against Liara...who with a gasp took a step backwards, moving into a crouch as she struggled: "_M_-_mother_!"

_No_ _time_. Michael glanced at Liara, regret sneaking into his heart. _Sorry_...

Benezia snarled, her eyes afire with a lust for blood: "Daughter..._die_!"

A single shot rang out.

And the struggle ceased, Liara's field collapsing even as she slumped to her knees, body shaking with the strain...and Benezia's power fizzling out as the Matriarch took a step backwards, the feral look _gone_, the power in her eyes _gone_.

She was nothing but an old woman...clutching at the purple blood running from her stomach, eyes vacant as she stumbled backwards...before slumping to her knees.

Michael reached out for Liara...

_No, the mission comes first_.

...and then gripped his smoking pistol with both hands as he brushed past the woman and advanced on his wounded target, pistol levelled at her. "Target neutralized, Alenko, medi-gel here."

"No..." Benezia coughed, but the hand raised _demanded_ obedience, refusing the aid. "It's...no...no use..." Her voice was...different, less regal, _calmer_...

"The wound is treatable..."

"But my mind is not..." Benezia wavered where she sat, but looked up at Michael, a new fire in her eyes as she spoke: "I feel it crawling in my skull...the _need_ to do as Saren says...the _need_ to kill you...even _now_...I _feel_ it..."

_Need_... Michael shuddered, feeling a brief moment of fear for his own needof the mission...a cold shudder, as if it was something unnatural.

_It is_...

_No_..._ignore_.

"Saren, he was here, where did he go?"

"Saren..." The woman's eyes rolled back, a soft shake of her head: "Saren isn't...the ship..."

_Again, the ship, why is the ship important_?

_Irrelevant, focus on mission_. "Saren. Where, is, he?"

The woman's head lolled back, voice a whisper: "Saren...Virmire...gathering his army...Virmire..." Then shot back, her eyes flashing with a flicker of energy. "You must stop him! He must not..." She shuddered, the energy dying. "...must not reach the Conduit...if he does...he must not..."

"The Conduit, what _is_ the Conduit?" Michael pushed.

But the Matriarch merely rolled her head back, a muted whisper escaping her as she shuddered, her blue colour fading. "Stop him..."

Michael reached back for his medi-gel...only to see Liara crawling towards them, the grief in her eyes stopping him, then making him look back to Benezia, remembering the commando Shiala's words of her sudden freedom. _Better_ _to_ _die_ _as_ _you_ _then_..._whatever_ _they're_ _turned_ _into_.

He shook his head. _No_, _mission_...

A glance at Liara holding her mother's shoulders, regret and grief in her face...and her memories of a distant mother, of bitterness and words not apologized for washed over him...he looked away. _Not_..._this_ _time_...

Yet he could still hear them.

Liara's voice, a pained whisper: "M-other..."

Benezia's, weak and fading: "Little wing...I never...told you..."

"I...p-please don't..."

"Told you how much I..." A cough, then another...and Michael found his gaze drawn to the scene.

Benezia's lips were flecked with purple blood, her skin pale blue...and Liara on her knees opposite the woman as the Matriarch faltered, the grip of her daughter's hands on her shoulders all that kept her from falling.

And Liara's face, wet with tears, shaking with regret and grief, lips moving in questions and words she'd never had an opportunity to speak.

All that escaped her was a tiny whisper however: "M-mother...?"

Benezia swayed. "...told you...how...much...I..."

A rattle...and the Matriarch dropped to the floor.

Liara's hands remained out, as if still holding her mother, eyes wide, mouth opening...but there were no words, only a look of shock.

Silence.

And then a choked sound, her lips trembling, twisting into grimace, eyes narrowing as her face crunched up...and her hands moved to her gut as she with a sob doubled over.

Michael holstered his pistol, reached out...only to flinch back as Liara pulled her shaking shoulders away from his hand.

He looked down at his gun...and nodded. _Understandable_..._I_..._understandable_.

Kaidan came forth, slipping to one knee behind her he placed both hands on the Asari's shoulders...even as he with a sympathetic look nodded to Michael to go for the computer back by the Rachni queen.

A last look at Liara...and Michael turned and moved towards the desk.

In its tank the queen was still watching them, one tentacle reaching out, pressing against the glass as if in greeting.

Michael ignored it, finding the computer, fingers taping forth, searching the recent documents as he spoke into the com-link. "Locating Mu Relay...transmitting coordinates to the Normandy...done." _Primary objective complete, search additional data_.

Then the glass next to the computer..._hummed_.

Michael shot it a glance, then shrugged: "Searching additional documents, no hits on Saren, no hits on Benezia, no hits on-"

"You...sing a different song."

Michael blinked, looking back, finding Wrex advancing with narrowed eyes focused on the queen, neither Liara nor Kaidan having moved, a small island of grief.

None of them was the owner of the voice however, none _could_ have been, the voice soft and melodic, a strange whisper of an echo within it.

"You...face those holding us."

Michael followed the voice...and found himself staring at the glass, the water at the bottom vibrating even as it hummed with the voice. Wrex's voice was but a growl: "What _is_ that?"

And the glass hummed loud: "We...are the Rachni."

Michael looked at the glass, then up to the Rachni pressing her tentacle against its glassed cage. "It's the queen..." A growl from Wrex...and Michael held up his hand, beckoning silence: "Can you understand us?"

"Your...song...is not our song...but we _see_ yours...vibrations...through memory...we understand." There was a hint of confusion in the voice: "You...are different...you move by self...not by all...driven by a single song...we do not understand."

"They're a damn hive." Wrex snarled, the Krogan's hands closing into fists. "She probably told her children to attack us."

"Our...children..." The Queen's body shook, head twitching to the side, as if in pain. "...do not hear the song...they were taken...they cannot hear our song...yet we hear their agony...they desire an end...yet do not know it...for they know not what they are...nor what all around them is..."

"Seems they _did_ go mad." Michael looked to Wrex, shrugging. _Not important, does not change new objective, nested Rachni must be destroyed_.

"Yeah, _if_ you can trust the bug." Wrex snorted, clearly showing what he thought of that.

"Please...we...wish their agony...to end." The glass hummed, _insistent_. "...end their suffering...let our ruined children...know peace."

Michael looked back up, back to the monstrous alien. "That is already our mission, they will die."

"Thank...you...the Rachni are grateful."

Silence.

The queen tilting her massive head as she looked back at him, utterly alien eyes the size of his fist glowing at him.

And the glass hummed: "But...what of us? We...are the last of the Rachni...there is no song but ours left...we are alone."

_Alone_...Michael blinked, the word reverberating through him. _Alone_...

"Destroy it, drop it into the acid." Wrex grunted, snarling at the caged creature. "The Krogan died in millions against these beasts, let it end here."

"We...did not fight the Krogan..." The glass retorted, voice soft. "We...hatched not long ago...we wish...release."

"You are a hive creature." Wrex growled, pointing a clawed finger at the queen. "You _know_ what your people did, you _remember_, you would do the _same_ if you weren't _shackled_."

"We...know...but we...do not understand..." The queen's body shuddered. "...we remember our song...fading...changing...and blood...our cry pushing against enveloping darkness...unheeded."

"It's blabbering nonsense, kill it." Wrex growled, turning to Michael.

Who ignored the Krogan, head downcast. _Mission requiring death of Rachni, correction, attacking Rachni, queen not attacking, queen not in mission parameters. Could turn hostile with release, could attack, might not, no data supporting either conclusion. Release risking future war though, but future war irrelevant with impending Reaper attack_..._does that make it irrelevant_? _Prisoner of war, should be treated according to_..._no, Spectre status superseding regulations_.

_Freedom or death will not affect mission, nor campaign against Saren or Reapers_..._it's_ _irrelevant_.

He flinched, the thought painful. _Change_ _approach_. "What would you do? Where would you go?"

"We...would leave...rebuild, remake our song..."

"Michael you can't-!" Michael held up his hand, silencing Wrex.

"Why would I _trust_ you?"

"We...have nothing...but the Rachni's song is almost at an end...we would never win a war...even if we wished one."

_Logic_...Michael nodded. _Correct_, _Rachni_ _strength_ _minimal, even with rebuilding they would not win a war, but they could still cause damage_..._self-preservation demands them to not attack however_.

He nearly snorted at himself._ Applying human logic on alien species, weak argument, they could still wish to attack_.

Wrex growl cut through his thoughts, harsh and low: "These creatures killed _millions_ of Krogans Shepard; the war turned us into the council's _tool_, only to be _discarded_ when we weren't needed! Don't let the genocide of the Krogan become in vain!"

_Do unto your neighbour as you would_..._no_, _religion_ _not_ _applicable_, _is_ _only_ _driving, emotions must __never__ influence decision process_. "The genocide is on the Council's hands, not the Rachni, you know that."

"Fine, but the Rachni still killed millions of Krogan, you _can't_ ignore that."

Michael blinked, the hatred in Wrex's voice disturbing his struggling mind. _Freeing_ _unnecessary_ _right_, _killing_ _safer_..._but_... Once more he remembered Shiala, the Asari commando was still on Feros, a resource to be used, a source of additional information, how was the Rachni any different? ..._wasting a_ _potential_ _resource_.

He blinked, hands coming down to rest against the desk as he looked down at the computer to hide his confusion.

_Logic_..._failing_.

It...hurt.

If he couldn't think through the mission...or logic...what was left? His _soul_? The soul of a brutal and monstrous thug? It could not be used, _must_ not be used...he had locked that man away, holding him at bay with logic, missions, feigned humour and that _need_...the need to _repent_.

_No_, _avoid_, _evade_.

He shuddered, searching his memories for an answer, but only finding death and a haze of his mind struggling to keep him going...

_Except_...

_Ashley, father at Shanxi, surrendered, she's now branded for his deed_... Michael's shoulders slumped as he looked up, finding the queen's glowing eyes. ..._as you are by those before you_.

_No, should kill it, resource expendable, risk too great_...

The words were hollow, it was a question of _morals_, morals that Michael had _long_ done away with, replacing it with _steel_ and _ice_...

And unleashing himself was _not_ an option, that man was a fool and a thug, not worthy to make any decisions any more, a soul hidden away as his body and masks of his true mind tried to repent his sins...

At the end the question was simple...what would a _good_ man do?

Michael _wasn't_ a good man, he didn't know.

So he looked back, gaze finding Kaidan. The man had managed to turn Liara away from her mother's corpse, his arms around her as her held her against his chest, muttering words as the Asari wept...and Michael knew.

_A-acceptable_.

And then he relaxed, with the decision made; the struggle within his mind eased away as the conflict was resolved. "Can't believe I'm doing this..." He reached down to the controls...tapped away...and the Queen's cage moved upwards as the ceiling opened, revealing a dark corridor against which the short end of the glass was pushed against with a thump.

"You're...letting it go!" Wrex growled, stunned.

Michael watched as the door to the cage opened to the corridor, the Queen standing before the exit...and looking down at him, the tentacle reaching out to touch the glass in greeting. "Yes..." And then it scampered out, disappearing into the darkness. "...I am."

"What's _wrong_ with you!" A clawed hand gripped his shoulder, spinning him to face Wrex, the Krogan's face twisting into one of rage. "The genocide of the Krogan would _never_ have happened if the Rachni hadn't come! _They_ were the reason we were needed! Their _destruction_ was what eventually doomed us!"

And Michael felt nothing but calm, the conflict now resolved he looked back evenly at the furious Krogan: "And another genocide would have made that better?"

"It would have been _justice_!" Wrex growled, clawed finger jabbign Michael in the chest. "What if it lied to you! What if it will rebuild only to start a war again! By then there will _be_ no Krogan to _save_ you!"

"Then I guess the science that created the genophage will also have doomed its creators to death by remaking the horror they used the Krogan to combat." Michael replied, shrugging.

Wrex opened his mouth, only to close it as he looked down at his feet. "That would be amusing I suppose..." Then back up, teeth bared in a snarl: "...but you _promised_ to end this! Instead you do _this_! _Why_!"

"Because the Rachni queen wasn't responsible for _anything_, and the _Rachni_ weren't responsible for the demise of the _Krogan_, it wasn't..." His eyes flicked to Kaidan. "...right to kill it."

"Your damn human morality will get us _killed_ if you continue like this! I ought to just-"

_Assert dominance_. "I'm your Commander, fall in line."

Wrex blinked, then scoffed. "You think you can-"

"Fall. In. Line." Michael narrowed his eyes at the Krogan.

Who snorted. "You think I'm scared of a human barely a tenth of my own-"

_Enough_. Michael grabbed Wrex's breastplate...pulled...and slammed his helmet into the Krogan's face.

A crack...and Wrex blinked, surprised more than dazed as Michael ignored the pain in his neck, voice cold: "I'm your Commander and you will do as I say. You are _not_ making the calls here, _I_ am, is that understood?"

Wrex blinked, eyes still aglow with surprise. "You _dare_ to-"

_Repeat_.

_This_ time Wrex actually took a step back as Michael's helmet slammed into his face. "You were a warlord on _Tuchanka_. _Here_ you are under _my_ command...that means you follow my orders and hold your tongue until I say otherwise." Michael pulled Wrex closer, so close that the Krogan's breath brushed against his as he glared into the big red eyes: "Is. That. Understood?"

Silence.

A slow blink...and Wrex's mouth moved into a broad grin: "You sure got a quad on you Shepard...I _like_ it." Michael released Wrex's breastplate...and the Krogan took a respectful step back, still grinning: "Very well, as you said, the Rachni are _your_ problem now, _not_ the Krogans...and damn if I don't think it would be a close fight."

Michael offered the Krogan a short nod, ignoring the pang of pain in his neck from the head-but as he spoke: "I trust this will not affect our contract?"

"On the contrary." Wrex smirked. "I feel like halving my fee." Then chuckled. "Not that I will, but the thought is there."

Michael offered a smirk...

_Situation resolved, new primary mission, enact_.

...and the smirk died.

He looked over to the distant door...and felt his mind slip back into its familiar place.

_High risk, minimize casualties, death of those under my charge_..._unacceptable, only one expendable_...

"Alenko, Urdnot, take T'soni back to the tram and prepare the survivors for extraction..." He moved towards the door.

"...I'll activate the self-destruct."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her kind help._


	43. Chapter 43

"The hell you are!"

Ashley's voice snapped in the com-link, hard and angry, as expected.

"Yeah." Wrex agreed with a nod, the Krogan taking a step closer. "After all this I'm not about to let you go into a nest of Rachni on your own, don't be stupid."

Michael met Wrex's eyes...and saw the respect there, and Krogan respect was that of a warrior's...and they didn't leave one another before a tough fight. _Irrelevant_. "Urd-" He hesitated, feeling a headache approaching: "...Wrex...the self-destruct is at the bottom with many Rachni in the way, anyone going down there might not be able to return in time, there is no reason to risk any more than one person."

And the com-link nearly _shook_ with Ashley's growl: "And that has to be _you_! What the hell's wrong with you! At least take some back-up!"

_Caring_...

Michael's shoulders slumped.

_No, irrelevant, casualties among team __unacceptable__, failure __unacceptable__, only __one__ acceptable loss_.

He kept his voice stern: "_No_, _my_ command, _my_ call."

Wrex growled, the Krogan's steps heavy as he moved closer, red eyes narrowing: "Warriors do _not_ abandon one another like that, would you dishonour me like that?"

"It's _not_ dishonourable Wrex..." Michael struggled, using anyone's first name on a mission difficult...a break in discipline._ Necessary, reaching emotional part of team_. "...dying needlessly _is_. especially when you have a duty full fill, you need to take Liara back to the tram and guide the survivors onto it."

"And what of _your_ duty?" Ashley hissed in his ear, the marine's voice shaking.

"She's right." Wrex nodded, clawed finger reaching out, prodding Michael's chest. "_You_ are the _Spectre_, you have to hunt down _Saren_, you are too important to lose." Another prod, making Michael take a step back, mind shying away from the words. "So _I_ should be the one going while _you_ go and prepare the survivors..." The Krogan slowly blinked, head cocked to the side as he watched Michael: "...and you _know_ it."

_Correct. Mission too important, without me the pursuit will falter, loss of team-member less of a loss then of commander, tactical and strategical demands means that I should sacrifice_-

_No_!

Michael's hand shot out, grabbing Wrex by the breastplate, an angry growl escaping him, making Wrex's eyes widen in surprise at whatever he saw...

_Control_!

...and Michael smoothed his face into a reassuring smile, voice soft: "If I fall I'm sure Garrus will more then happily take his shot at leading..."

"I...what?" The Turian's voice came through the com. "Michael I'm honoured but...I have to agree with Ashley and Wrex, this isn't..."

Michael interrupted, speaking faster as he forced the words forth: "Not that it matters, I _won't_ fail." It was _easy_ to feign confidence, it was a key part of being a commander, and Michael wasn't about to worry the others further. "Now Wrex...I need you back at the tram to make the difficult decision as to when to drive away when this place starts to come apart, wait for me as long as you can...but don't take any risks."

"Says the man risking his life so foolishly..." Wrex growled, then smirked as he stepped closer, so close Michael felt the Krogan's breath against him. "...there's no arguing with you is there? I'll see you on the tram...and if not...fight well."

Michael forced a grin, hand coming up to clamp down on Wrex's offered wrist, the Krogan's own on his. "Always do."

A short nod...and Wrex let go of Michael's wrist and turned towards where Kaidan and Liara had gotten to their feet, Liara not looking at him as they turned to walk away...too broken up by her loss to do so...and Kaidan offering him a respectful nod before turning to his duty of aiding the shaking Liara.

Ashley _wouldn't_ however. "I can't believe...you're actually going to let him _go_! _Stop_ him!"

Michael walked towards the elevator, hand moving back to free his shotgun, ready to finish his secondary objective.

Ashley's voice nagged at his concentration however, caring and want scratching at him...insistent as it pushed against his concentration: "Michael! You can't! Stop being such an asshole and come up with a plan that _doesn't_ involve you marching into bug-central! _Michael_! Are you-"

A brief press on his omni-tool...and Michael killed the sound, shutting the woman's voice out as the door before him opened.

_Primary objective; activation of self-destruct. Secondary objective; survive_.

8

8

8

_Keelah_...

Tali found her hands gripping onto the backrest of the co-pilot seat tightly as she stared at the screen of Michael's camera...mouth open but no words escaping, the pressure on her chest too tight to allow for speech.

"I don't understand..." Garrus muttered nervously, obviously trying to distract himself. "...why did Michael spare the Rachni queen? I was sure he'd kill it." The Turian's voice was tinged with confusion, but his stance showed approval, _if_ tainted by worry. No doubt Garrus had expected Michael to kill the queen even though he himself and his sense of justice had judged it innocent.

Ashley, the woman's lips a thin line, didn't respond, only shook her head, eyes afire with concentration as she to stared at the screen, too worried to even _think_ about it.

_I_ _do_... Tali swallowed, a great lump in her throat. She had seen Michael's confusion, his struggle with himself..._and_ the way he had looked back at Kaidan, the way he had relaxed when he had found a way out. ..._even if Michael himself doesn't_.

But it hadn't been Kaidan's influence, not _really_...it was just an _excuse_, a way for the man to explain to himself his choice...to...justify it to himself.

In reality the answer to his choice was _far_ simpler...but impossible for Michael to accept.

_Keelah_..._I_..._understand_ _now_...

The sight of the door of the descending elevator only made the truth all the more obvious, so _painfully_ obvious that Tali felt a jab of shame in her heart.

_I've been a fool_...

The decision about Shiala, the way he had worked to save the colonists on Feros, the way he prepared so thoroughly for every mission and always had to be at the most risky assignment...his story, so full of failure and choices she'd never thought him capable of...and now the queen being spared and him going on alone to spare the others the risk...

It _all_ moved together, like pieces of a puzzle that slid together for a picture that was so clear and simple...and made Tali's heart ache as the simple truth poured through her being like liquid fire, purging the loathing and disgust in purifying..._tenderness_.

And it was such a simple truth that Michael himself didn't see it.

_I_ _should_...

Her mouth moved, but no words came...she was just too...overcome.

Besides, Michael had shut off the audio reception for his helmet and couldn't hear...everything she wanted to say.

Then _his_ voice, calm, cold, _another_ mask: "Opening door."

His hand moved forth, pressing the control next to the elevator's door...and it silently slid aside.

The room ahead was empty and rectangular in shape, the long walls on each side were covered with glass, perhaps there was snow behind it normally...but all Tali could see were the insect-like bodies of Rachni.

They were _pressed_ against the windows, the space on each side filled to the brink...their eyes closed and bodies slowly moving as they slept...

_Keelah_..._there's_ _dozens_ _of_ _them_.

Michael slowly moved forth, camera and shotgun panning left and right...watching the sleeping creatures as he with measures steps moved into the room and towards the door on the other side. His voice was but a whisper, calm and cold: "Temperature elevated...probably due to many Rachni..."

There was a low hiss...and Michael's camera moved as he looked down.

The floor was a simple grilled one to prevent stepping on all the cables and machinery of the facility...and beneath it there was nothing but a _carpet_ of sleeping Rachni, some moving against one another as their claws clicked together in their sleep.

The camera moved up...and Tali felt her chest tighten even further as the grilled ceiling revealed another mat of sleeping Rachni, the creatures twitching in their sleep...even as one or two hissed, _louder_ this time.

_By all the ancestors_..._so many_...

Tali stared in wonder, her hands digging into the backrest of the seat, all that kept her from exploding into a fit of terror for Michael's safety.

"Advancing..." Michael's steps became _swifter_, the man's head turning left and right as more hisses resounded through the room, _angry_ hisses. "...double time!"

The man was suddenly _running_...even as a _crescendo_ of shrieks reverberated through the chamber. Crashes of steel slamming against steel, windows shattering...and Michael launched himself forward, the screen spinning as he threw himself forward, rolled through the doorway...and came up to look back at the room he had left.

Tali felt her breath hitch.

The room wasn't _there_ any more. It was nothing but a moving _mass_ of Rachni that climbed over one another as they like a living _flood_ filled the room..._pouring_ through shattered windows and the smashed grills of the ceiling and floor.

Then Michael's hand shot out, hitting the control to the door...and it slammed shut.

He turned...and Tali's heart sank at the sight of the small room, not more then a few square feet in size..._half_ of it held by a computer to the right side of him, a large thing stuck to the floor and without a control board, only a single panel stuck to its front.

Not that it mattered...he was trapped.

_Keelah_...

Tali's heart...hurt.

Michael didn't stop though, no hesitation in his movement as he straightened, holstered his shotgun and moved towards the computer. His gauntleted hand reached out, finding the latch to the panel before him...and wrenched it open. Beneath there was a thin sheet of glass covering a large red latch in the upright position...and Michael's fist instantly smashed it apart in a crash of shattering glass.

"God..." Ashley muttered, but it was a distant sound as Tali stared.

"Self-destruct..." Michael's voice was calm as ever as his left hand closed around the latch...before his camera moved to look at the other end of the room...where part of the floor came apart as a Rachni with a hiss appeared.

A second later Michael's right hand aimed his pistol at it, three shots...and the creature screeched and collapsed within the hole it had made, its head torn open.

The smoking pistol disappeared as Michael turned back to the latch, his hand still holding it...and now slamming it downwards. "...initiated."

Instantly a synthetic voice called out, as calm and mechanical as Michael's: "Emergency self-destruction protocols enacted. All personal must leave the station, immediately. Two minutes to station destruction, evacuate."

"Run..." Garrus muttered the word, but as with Ashley's prayer it was nothing but a distant mutter as Tali watched Michael's hands move up to his shoulder as he advanced upon the door before him.

An elbow against the controls and the door opened...and the mass of Rachni screeched as they saw him, dozens of tentacles aiming forth, spitting acid...

Michael's camera spun...and Tali gasped even as she saw that he had simply moved behind the wall next to the doorway. Pressing his back against it his hands moved before the camera, showing the bandoleer he had unclasped...and the grenades hanging in it as he with quick flicks of his fingers primed them.

More shrieks...and Michael spun as he threw the bandoleer into the room before thumping the controls to the door to seal it.

The door slid shut...and then the camera shook as the ground underneath heaved with a muted blast.

_Keelah_...

A moment later the door opened as Michael slammed the control and leapt into the room, shotgun whipped forth.

Before him the room was a scene of carnage. The floor, ceiling, walls..._all_ covered in the green slime of smashed Rachni, pieces of scorched exoskeleton sizzling as they were glued to the filth...the mass of creatures turned to nothing but gore.

Gore that _moved_.

More Rachni were surging forth, creatures coming from the ceiling, the floor, the walls...pushing through the filth of their fallen kin, as if rising out of their remains, monsters seeking vengeance, looking as they were being birthed out of their fallen allies...

Michael's foot came down on one, smashing its face into the floor as he jumped, shotgun blasting another from the ceiling and sending it hurtling across the room. A crash of his feet hitting the floor...and his shotgun swung widely to bash aside the lunging claws of a third before he bowled it over with the force of his charge.

A hiss...and Michael was jerked sideways as a tentacle wrapped around his right arm, the creature pulling him closer as its maw opened...only for him to slam the barrel of his shotgun into it.

A boom...and its body exploded with Michael's shot, the quivering body dropping down with the weapon firmly stuck between its large teeth.

_Keelah_!

Michael was apparently inured to the panic racking Tali however. The marine's fist flew out, catching another Rachni in the face and sending it to the floor, another instantly climbing over it...only to collapse as Michael's pistol raked its torso with shots.

A shriek...and a Rachni fell from the ceiling, drawing a grunt from Michael as it dropped onto a raised arm while slamming its claws into his shoulders.

He didn't stop moving though, the man running, pistol firing into the gut of the screeching creature...and then his arm tossed it sideways and into two others, sending them to the floor in a storm of flailing limbs...along with two blood-flecked shoulder-pads.

_Keelah_...

Another Rachni leapt at him from the right...and Michael ducked under it even as his pistol was sent flying by a swinging claw, his foot breaking the spine of the creature responsible.

A leap off the creature he'd broken underfoot...the world spinning...and Michael came up on one knee, assault rifle suddenly in his hands, gutting two Rachni before him, their insides pouring over the floor as he rushed forth between them...and then stumbled as a claw of a leaping Rachni smashed into his gut.

_NO_!

Tali swayed, staring in horror. It all felt so..._unreal_...

Then Michael coughed...and fired a volley into the claw stuck in his gut, tearing the limb off at the joint from the screeching creature as he rushed forth...into the elevator.

A grunt and the man spun...and slammed the controls to the elevator even as he fired a volley through the closing door... A door whose edges were sprayed with acid even as the majority of the enemy volley struck the man...who stumbled back with a pain gasp.

A thud of Michael's back hitting the wall of the elevator as it began to move upwards...and he slid downwards.

The screen listed to one side as Tali saw his legs come to lie on the floor...the beat of his heart slowing as the screen moved down, showing the seared mess that was his breast-plate. Black plates seared apart and melted into pale flesh...and a Rachni claw still embedded in his gut, the severed limb stained with dark blood.

_No_...

Silence.

_No_..._please_..._don't_...

Then a sudden jolt in his heart-rate, his right hand coming up, gripping the claw tightly...and _wrenching_ it out, spraying Michael's legs with his blood even as he with a grunt moved to rise.

And then he was on his feet, the camera swaying to side to side, yet not falling as he growled: "Primary objective complete, moving to secondary..."

And Tali practically collapsed against the backrest.

_Keelah_..._he's_ _just_..._too_ _much_...

The thought made her smile.


	44. Chapter 44

"Sooo...Wrex seems cheerful."

_Yeah_..._that'll work Garrus, brilliant, __really_.

The three had shared an awkward silence during the descent of the elevator to the cargo hold after they all had gone to check on Michael, the man recovering swiftly in the med-bay, the man one big grin, assuring them of his well-being and unknowing of the fight brewing between those visiting him...

Of course it hadn't been _that_ bad – Ashley and Tali were simply ignoring one another after all – until the three had exited the elevator together and Ashley had confided her surprise to Garrus of Michael sparing the Rachni queen.

Only to stumble in surprise as Tali had suddenly scoffed and coldly said that _that_ wasn't a surprise...

And now they stood by the Mako, Garrus wanting nothing but to grab his tools and disappear under its bulk...as his worried gaze flicked between the two women.

Ashley was standing by the computer checking the Mako's systems, her arms crossed over her chest and brown eyes flashing in barely suppressed anger as they remained fixed upon Tali.

A Tali who was leaning against one of the Mako's wheels, her arms crossed over her chest as well, the silver orbs in her visor narrowed as she coldly regarded the other woman.

_How did __I__ get caught in the middle anyway_?_ Michael owes me big_...

Garrus wasn't sure _why_ Tali, after her retreat and avoiding of Ashley, had suddenly decided to start their ridiculous bickering again...all he knew was that his own close proximity to it was beginning to make his plates chafe along with the feel of a cold sweat running down his back.

_At least they're not armed_... Garrus' eyes flicked to the armoury at the other end of the room. ..._which_ _could_ _change_ _quickly_...

With no real choice in what he could do Garrus continued: "Guess he respects tough calls and such...well I knew that already, I mean _everyone_ does, I mean...erm..." His hand moved back, finding the back of his neck as his gaze flicked from woman to woman. "...that it's a shame he's not around...so...erm...we could talk to him and...erm...stop staring at one another..."

The only reply was Ashley shifting where she stood, back arching as she regarded Tali with a cocked head and a frosty gaze.

Then silence.

_Excruciating_ silence.

_Please kill me_...

Finally Ashley spoke, voice _ice_: "So, being so _wise_ you'd like to enlighten me as to why he saved the queen?"

And Tali's warble was as detached as it could be without being the voice of a _machine_: "Wouldn't you who know him _so_ well know already?"

"At least I _kept_ liking him, _I_ don't change my mind just like that."

Tali flinched, but her voice was one of frost: "_Him_? Or the _hero_?"

"Okay..." Garrus clapped his hands together, looking from one to the other as he forced a smile: "...conversation over, no need to keep at this...we're in the same team...remember?"

Neither woman paid him even a glance.

And then Ashley spoke again, as if Garrus hadn't even said anything: "What do _you_ care? It's not like it's any of _your_ business."

Tali snorted, sounding smug: "Defensive aren't we? Worried?"

A scoff escaped Ashley, the woman taking a step back while arching an eyebrow at the Quarian: "_Worried_? _That's_ a good one, you don't even know what to _do_ with a man..."

Tali flinched, as if struck.

And Ashley's face, often so smirking and friendly...twisted into an ugly grin as she looked down the Quarian's suit-covered body: "...even if you _could_."

_Ouch_...

Tali looked down, shoulders shaking...and hands curling into fists, there were _tears_ in her voice..._and_ trembling rage: "Y-you _d-dare_...!"

"_I_ dare!" Ashley's icy voice shattered as she took a sudden step forward, _snarling_ at the Quarian: "_You_ were the slut who thinks she can-!"

"I didn't!" Tali shouted, the Quarian too stepping forward...

...and suddenly Garrus found himself stepping between them and putting his arms across the collar-bones of the two women as he held them apart. "Okay! Okay! That's _it_!" He felt the two press against his arms, growling beasts...and raised his voice: "Michael won't like you fighting!" The pressure dropped, if only a little...and Garrus forced himself to sound calm as he looked at Ashley: "This is an _Alliance_ vessel, fighting fellow crewmen is an _offence_."

Ashley practically growled like an animal as she through clenched teeth spoke: "That _thing_ is not a-"

Garrus' head snapped round to look at Tali, ignoring the way she was glaring at Ashley as he growled: "And you're representing your entire _race_! _Think_!"

Instantly the pressure from Tali's body dropped, the woman's shoulders slumping in defeat as she nodded, the fight gone out of her as quickly as it had arrived. Ashley's pressure _didn't_ however...and Garrus looked back to the human, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "Ashley, _now_."

A defiant glare shot his way...and the human shrugged as she eased back. "Fine, whatever, not like I have anything to worry about anyway."

Tali didn't respond, she only looked up sharply, silver eyes narrowed into slits.

"Good." Garrus let his arms drop, sighing. "Now if you please could go to a side of the ship each and _not_-"

The door to the elevator hummed...and opened...and all three looked over at it as Michael walked in. The man's shirt was bulky with bandages, but otherwise he looked fine, not the least impaired in his motions as he walked towards them with an oblivious smile on his face.

_Oh_..._dammit_... Garrus looked at both women, finding both having dropped their angry stances, Ashley smiling pleasantly while the pair waited. _This is disgusting_..._how __can't__ he see this_! Garrus' gaze flicked between the two...and the answer was obvious. Michael knew of Ashley, but not Tali...and as such he couldn't even pick up on the tension present in the room. _One of these days I'll have to hit him over the head_...

"Good to see you back on your feet." Ashley said, interrupting Garrus' thoughts with her smug tone: "Guess the Rachni's sting wasn't so bad?"

"Well you know me..." Michael shrugged as he came to a stop before the three, his smile not as wide as usual: "...nothing can keep me down."

A chortle...Williams shooting Tali a glance, and then a wink at Michael: "I'm not so sure about that...sir."

The man blinked, then cleared his throat, shifting where he stood: "Err...I..."

"You look like you want something, Michael." Tali spoke before the man could continue hesitating.

"Actually, yes." The Quarian shot Ashley what looked like a smug look before turning back to Michael as the man spoke: "I...erm..." He rubbed the back of his head, grimacing as the smile faded: "...Liara's still a bit upset..."

"Can't say I blame her." Ashley muttered, looking away. "Loosing a parent is rough, and like _that_...jeez."

"You haven't talked to her?" Garrus asked, knowing the answer, Michael took care of his crew after all.

"Yes...yes I have." Michael replied, the man looking even more awkward as he looked away, grimacing. "But..." Hesitation.

"You shot her mother." Ashley finished, voice soft.

"No." Michael shrugged, looking down at the floor. "Well _yes_...that _too_...but it's not why..." He looked up, face unreadable: "...she knows _why_ I'm trying to comfort her."

"No, she doesn't." Tali suddenly spoke up, making Michael blink in surprise and look over at her with the others in the room...and the Quarian looked down at her feet: "I mean the melding can't have told her everything..._if_ that's what you're worried about."

"Who said..." Michael's words faded, the man looking at Tali with a confused look on his face...then he shrugged and turned to Ashley: "Anyway, she's not really listening to me...so...Ashley could you...?" He nodded towards the elevator.

"W-wha? Me?" Ashley blinked, the human startled. "Why me? I mean...I don't know Liara all that well and..." She shuffled back and forth, awkward as she shot Garrus a look. _And while you've accepted me as a person Liara is still an alien_... Garrus shot her a smirk, knowing Ashley's somewhat worrying behaviour against other species wasn't so difficult to overcome, it was more worry against the unknown than anything else.

"_No one_ knows her all that well besides me." Michael retorted, shooting the others a look that despite its neutrality made Garrus grimace in guilt. _She's difficult to get to know, so distant_..._and daughter of Benezia_..._and so_..._dull_. He grimaced again as Michael arched an eyebrow at him. _Okay so she deserved better given what she's done for us_... "But _because_ of her knowing me she doesn't listen to me...and you've comforted your sisters lots of times..."

"_Younger_ sisters." Ashley protested, hesitant, then grimaced: "Not _one_ who is over a hundred..."

"Ashley..." Michael tilted his head to the side and offered a soft smile. "...please?"

"I..."

"You're the best for the job."

"But..."

"Pretty please?"

A snort...and Ashley shook her head as she rolled her eyes, hands over her head: "_Fine_, fine, can't have the big bad Commander beg now can we?"

"Thank you." Michael nodded, smirking. "You're always so helpful."

"Yeah, yeah..." Ashley moved past Michael with shoulders slumped in defeat...then whirled around as she reached the elevator, teeth bared in a grin as she pointed at Michael: "But you owe me, _big_ time."

"Very well, my lady." Michael offered a curt bow...and the elevator's doors closed.

Silence.

Then a sigh as Michael turned to Garrus, the man looking a little weary: "Great, I'm sure _that_ will bite me in the ass."

_You have no idea_. Garrus glanced at the quiet Quarian next to him before he shrugged: "Probably, but that's what you get for asking favours." He hesitated, glancing at the Mako, wanting nothing more than to disappear under it and forget about the mess that seemed to surround Michael, but then squared his shoulders: "Was there anything else Michael?"

"Actually...yes." Michael grimaced. "You watched what happened down there with the Rachni right? Well I was just thinking...if it had been some sort of computer which I had to hack I would have been lost..." He shrugged and stepped closer, face friendly: "So I was wondering if perhaps you could teach me a little about hacking and bypassing firewalls. I'm not...all that good at it."

Now it was Garrus' turn to grimace. As part of his work in C-sec he had trained some of the new recruits...and he had _hated_ it. And to teach someone that apparently _knew_ himself to be bad at something quite _advanced_...it wasn't all that tempting. "I don't know Michael...I'm not the greatest of teachers."

"Oh come on, just some basics." _You think __anything__ in hacking is basic_! "It won't be more then a few hours..." _A_ _few_..._he_ _has_ _no_ _idea_ _what_ _he's_ _asking_! Michael shot Garrus' hesitating form a smirk. "Don't make me order you..."

Garrus grimaced, apprehension making his fingers twitch. _Why didn't I just hide under the Mako when I could_? "Michael, it's really not that easy, and I have-"

"I could do it."

The two men blinked, then turned their heads to stare at Tali, the Quarian's voice cheerful..._and_ offering to help _Michael_. _What has happened_?

Michael too seemed surprised, the man blinking once more, half a smile tugging at his lips: "You...would?"

"Sure." Tali shrugged, voice a pleasant warble as she shrugged: "I'm better at it than Garrus anyway."

Michael hesitated again...then smirked: "And oh so modest about it too?"

A small laugh, and Tali took a step forward, arms crossed over her chest: "Do you _want_ help or not?"

Michael chuckled...and bowed his head: "Very well..." He gestured for the elevator. "To the comm room then oh goddess of the virtual world?"

"That's..." Tali twisted her torso where she stood...a smirk in her voice...before her legs turned with the rest of her body as she moved towards the elevator. "...more like it."

And Michael was right next to him. "Never fear, I won't stop, oh shining light of hacking."

Tali's hand shot out, pushing Michael a step away, voice an amused chuckle: "Now you're mocking me."

They stepped into the elevator. "_Mocking_? I'd never _dare_ oh-"

The door thumped close...and Garrus shook his head as his shoulders dropped.

_That's never going to end well_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for not killing me over the miss in the last chapter...and for forgiving me by assisting with this one._


	45. Chapter 45

Ashley felt like a thief in the night.

Casting furtive glances towards the dining area where the crew currently eating didn't even cast her a look it felt a bit awkward to be moving to the med-bay. A marine _never_ visited it unless she was _hurt_...or with issues of a more..._personal_ problems.

One of the men looked up...only to stare down at the table as Ashley glared at him...she caught herself smirking. _Good, the entire crew is sufficiently whipped_...

The smirk quickly died however as she crossed the last distance to the med-bay. She did _not_ like the idea of leaving Michael alone with that...that..._minx_...that trickster of a Quarian..._slut_. Nor did she really like the idea of going to comfort Liara. While the Asari clearly wasn't a traitor or anything, hell she hadn't even tried anything with Michael – which put her a step above _Tali_ at least – Ashley didn't really _know_ the woman...and she was just so..._odd_...and _weird_.

But Michael had asked her for help...and she _couldn't_ refuse him. His gratitude was something to cherish after all...and despite her feigned bravado – sometimes she feared the Quarian would see right through with those alien eyes – Ashley was _worried_. Tali seemed to see things in Michael Ashley didn't...the many times they had spoken before their split it had been _Tali_ that had told her so much about the man...and if she made _use_ of such an ability to seduce him...it was a frightening thought.

At first she hadn't been worried, Tali had been disgusted with Michael, or at least _acted_ like it...but _now_...now Ashley felt a worm of _fear_.

_Alien_ _or_ _not_..._suit_ _or_ _not_..._she's_ _dangerous_...

_I should do something_..._push things_..._can't let Tali win like this_...

She shook her head as the door of the med-bay opened, pushing the thoughts aside. _Later, now to help Miss Blueberry_...

The med-bay was empty save the usual beds and Chakwas' desk and computer...and the doctor herself sitting by it as she tapped away.

Ashley moved forward, watching as the doctor turned, the old woman smiling calmly at the marine: "So Michael sent you? Good, I tried myself but it was no use...I'm..." She moved a hand up to her greying hair. "...too motherly I suppose." She nodded towards the door at the other end of the room. "She's in the lab."

"Of course she is..." Ashley shook her head. _Grieving_ _a_ _family_ _member_ _in_ _a_ _lab_? _Only_ _Liara_ _I_ _suppose_..._bet she's working, damn ice-queen_...

_But then again she's supposed to be upset_...

She reached the door...and hesitated.

_Fuck_ _it_.

Two steps forward...and the door opened and let her into the next room.

The lab was _small_, the Normandy was a fighting vessel and not a lab-ship after all...more a place for safe storage of dangerous items found during scouting missions and the like...and developing the odd chemical the doctor might need.

It was also _dark_.

Ashley blinked, momentarily taken aback as she stared around herself while the door slid shut behind her.

To her right there were shelves riveted to the wall, numerous bottles with various liquids lining them...a few pieces of lab equipment dominated the top shelf.

And to the left there was a desk along the length of the room, a single computer...before which Liara sat, the back of the Asari's head the only thing visible as she slowly typed away.

Ashley hesitated, unsure how to begin. If it had been one of her sisters she would have come with a blanket, perhaps a favourite stuffed animal...soft words along with a good smack to the head...but what did one do with an Asari? One that was basically a calculating machine dedicated to science?

Hell, Ashley was even a little worried that a smack would hurt those strange blue..._things_ on the Asari's head.

A slight cock of Liara's head, her typing slowing: "I told you Shepard...I...am okay."

Again, Ashley hesitated. Then a shrug. _Just get it over with_. "Yeah, I'm not the giant super-man, sorry."

Liara flinched, but didn't turn. "Ah..." Then the clicking of her fingers on the keys of the computer. "...sent you did he? I'm not surprised, though I find it quite needless, I am well."

"Yeah..." Ashley turned her gaze around, looking at the room with an arched eyebrow. "...because people _love_ to stay in a pitch-black room when they're okay."

The clicking ceased.

Liara turned her head, blue eye flashing at Ashley: "I _told_ you, I'm _well_, now _please_ leave, I have work to do and you're in my way." A small sigh...and she turned back to the screen. "Besides, you do not care much for me, so go back to Michael and tell him you did some good...and that I am well, because I _am_."

"Yeah...that's not how I play." Ashley muttered, arms crossing over her chest. "Marines don't leave anyone behind, no matter what kind of battlefield."

"I _told_ you..." Liara's shoulders bunched up in her seat as the Asari _hissed_ the words. "...I am _well_...now please _leave_." She shook her head.

"You know..." Ashley hesitated, taking a step forward. "...it's odd, I remember your teasing back in Flux, scared the shit out of me...I'm no lesbian after all..."

The tiniest of chuckles escaped the Asari, her taps on the keyboard slow as she lowered her head.

"...yet I haven't seen that woman since then." Ashley nodded to herself, it was _true_, she hadn't thought about it...but it was true. "No, all I see is that polite scientist that tries to analyse things to death...too polite to be liked, hell, too cold to be seen as anything but a Geth."

"I'm sorry if I've given you such an impression." Liara replied, polite as ever, yet _not_ turning... "I'm aware I can be a bit distant, cold even, at least in how I'm perceived. It's an issue I've tried to look into, but I'm afraid that it's just the way-"

"You can't help it can you?" Ashley smirked as she interrupted, but the smirk died swiftly as she took a step closer, watching the way Liara's hands shook as they slowly moved between digits on the keyboard before her. "Control, analyse, data, it's all about that isn't it? So when something like _this_ happens...you don't get it, you can't wrap your head around it."

"I...don't know what you're talking about." Liara muttered back, the Asari...shrinking in her seat.

"Back at Eden Prime..." Ashley grimaced, the name still making her chest tighten. "...my entire unit was killed, and I couldn't really...accept it, and I was _trained_ to be able to do just that. I don't know how it works for an Asari...but I _hope_ grief can still be felt by you...or it's just scary."

"Grief? It's not productive." Liara shrugged. "And why should I grieve? I hadn't met my mother in five decades, you heard it yourself...she was just a stranger."

"Ah." Ashley swallowed, it was such an _obvious_ lie...and she'd seen it with her sisters. She knew how to get them out of it though, how to shake them out of the lie they were telling themselves. _Tough love, always works_. "I guess that's it then? Just more data to analyse? Her final words meant _nothing_ I'm sure, she never _did_ finish that sentence of hers...but I guess it didn't matter?"

"That's...correct." Liara flinched, the Asari's hands gripping at the edge of the desk as Ashley came closer.

"Yep, just another _traitor_, filth to be killed. I guess it would have helped restoring your name if _you_ had pulled the trigger..." Ashley advanced closer, so close she could touch the backrest of Liara's chair. "...bet you wished you had, huh? Killed that traitor? Perhaps even drawn it out a bit? For what she did to you? Made her suffe-"

"Shut up!" Liara flew to her feet, her body aglow with biotic energy as she whirled to face Ashley, eyes afire as she sent the chair hurtling past the marine and into the shelves with a crash of breaking glass. "You will _shut up_!" She moved forth...and Ashley stepped backwards as the glowing Asari bore down at her. "SHUT UP!"

A thump of her back against the wall...and Ashley found Liara's forearm pressing against her throat as the Asari glared up at her, her other hand on Ashley's shirt and her eyes _glowing_ with the energy coursing through her.

A moment she was taken aback...then she forced a wide grin: "Ah! So there's some fire there after all! You want to defend that _traitor_!"

Pain shot through her as the Asari pulled back and then smashed her back into the wall, face twisting into a grimace of rage: "That was my _mother_!"

"_So_? What do _you_ care! You hadn't seen her for fifty _years_! She never _cared_ for you! And _you_ never cared for _her_!" Ashley bared her teeth at Liara, forcing herself to grin even as she felt a pang of sympathy in her heart: "And why _would_ you! She was _evil_! You would never have seen her if we hadn't hunted her down!"

"_I_ care!" Liara roared, the grip on Ashley's shirt tearing back and forth as she shook Ashley. "I cared dammit!"

"Why! _Why_ did you care!"

Liara's eyes _blazed_ with rage: "Because she was my _mother_! Because I _hoped_ she would..."

And the fire in her eyes died.

The Asari's gaze went distant and she looked downwards as her shouts turned to a mutter: "...because I hoped there was still a chance...that we could...that..." The biotic glow faded, the arm against Ashley's throat dropped down...as the Asari's shoulders slumped in defeat, gaze downcast as she whispered: "...we perhaps could...mend..."

And Ashley felt her own shoulders drop as she softly replied: "Things usually don't go as planned...it sucks but there you have it."

"Yes..." A shudder ran through the Asari, voice low: "...sucks..."

"My grandfather did the right thing back in Shanxi...yet he's still marked as a traitor...and people like us..." _Can't believe I'm making myself similar to an alien_... It was a dim thought though, weak compared to the sympathy digging in...the _understanding_. Ashley's hands were suddenly on Liara's shoulders: "...we carry those marks, fair or not...we do."

There was no answer from the Asari, Liara's gaze fixed upon the floor between the two.

"But the worst thing is..." Ashley swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat as gripped Liara's shoulders tighter. "...that we can't agree with the others condemnation, we _can't_...because they're our family a-and...despite everything...w-we _love_ them."

A shudder ran through Liara...and the Asari was suddenly leaning her forearms against Ashley's chest as she shook, tears in her voice: "I n-never s-said t-that..."

_Oh_...

The sympathy had pushed at the brim...now it flooded over and Ashley's arms wound round Liara's neck as she pulled the Asari closer. "Come here..." Liara buried her face in Ashley's chest...and she felt the Asari's head shake as she wept. "...she knew, they always know..."

A meek shake of Liara's head, the Asari's arms around Ashley's waist as the woman struggled not to topple under the emotions raging within her. And her voice, muffled in Ashley's shirt: "I should h-have...h-have s-said something...do-done..._more_..."

At first Ashley thought Liara meant about her mother being a traitor...but then she realised the Asari simply meant their relationship years ago...and felt her eyes screw shut as she held Liara tight, voice a comforting whisper: "You were a kid...it's not your fault...that's the worst thing...it's never someone's fault, it just..._is_."

And Liara whimpered, the Asari shaking as the dammed feelings burst forth: "I...w-we ne-never sp-spoke...ne-never...t-took ti-time..." An angry shake of her head, arms around Ashley's waist winding tighter. "She's g-gone...s-so m-much le-left...unsaid...I'll never...I c-can't...f-forgive..." Another shudder, the grip slackening. "..._myself_..."

"Oh Liara..." Ashley slumped downwards, dropping onto the floor with Liara still attached to her, clutching at her like a life-raft even as Ashley's left hand brushed the Asari between the shoulders and the right moved up her cool scalp...and pulled her head back so Ashley could look into the big blue eyes, now tinged red with tears. "...I'm afraid you have to."

Liara's lower lip wobbled...and then her head dived back into Ashley's chest as the Asari shook with grief.

"Hush...hush..." Ashley leant her head back against the wall, left hand slowly moving up and down Liara's back, her right carefully brushing against her head-fringe...and closed her eyes as she let the grief and sympathy run free within her. "...it'll be okay...it _will_..."

For Liara wasn't some ally to help, nor some crew-member, or a strange alien Ashley couldn't understand.

She was simply a woman that had lost what little family she had...

A girl that didn't feel as if she had anything but guilt left...

A weeping child in the dark...

Grieving.

_Asari or human, it doesn't make a difference_...

And Ashley began to gently rock Liara to sleep as she whispered words of comfort she'd whispered to her sisters countless times before...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for not killing me and dumping my body in the river._


	46. Chapter 46

_So, Michael, about you_...

_No that won't work_.

_You know, before I was a bit upset, but I've been thinking_...

_Keelah, no_...

_Michael, I despised you, now I want to do things to you that would dislocate my hips_...

_Honest_ _but_..._Keelah_...

Tali was _extremely_ glad for her visor, without is she was sure Michael would have seen her blush a mile away...in fact she was almost worried he'd spot her _through_ it by now. She reminded herself that Michael couldn't though...even as she with gratitude noted that his attention was wholly on the glowing omni-tool surrounding his arm.

Except for the two of them the comm room was empty, something Tali tried not to think about as she watched Michael's furrowed brow as like a curious little animal he looked at the many options on the glowing screen while carefully poking at the odd irrelevant button.

It was enough to draw a snicker out of her.

"What? You told me to concentrate..." He muttered, voice low as he narrowed his eyes at the screen, as if glaring at it would somehow resolve the simple code and overwriting procedure.

Tali offered a small nod, something the focused man didn't notice, even as she felt herself reach the point of giving up._ I can't tell him what I've come to understand...he won't listen, he'll joke it away, ignore it or leave_..._and I can't very well try some sort of question_..._he's too_..._defensive when it comes to himself_.

_Then again I can't really __not__ say anything...he deserves to learn this about himself_..._to_... Her head dropped, Ashley's words during their argument having bored into her heart like acid. _To_ _be_ _happy_..._Keelah_..._I_..._can't_..._he won't listen and_..._and I don't have any right to_..._to_...

Her shoulders slumped as she let out a small sigh.

_Defeat_, it held her heart in its black claws...and Tali surrendered to it.

_I can at least be friendly_..._he_ _needs_ _a_ _friend_..._more_ _then_ _he_ _knows_. It was a sad thought, nice, but _sad_...and Tali _embraced_ it, it was her _duty_ to care for fellow crew-members after all, and that _included_ her captain.

No matter how much _pain_ such an arrangement might cause...

She looked back up at Michael, a sad smile he'd never see on her lips...and watched as he continued to struggle with the embarrassingly simple hack.

They had been in the comm room for a good solid two and a half hour now...and during that time Michael's progress had been _minuscule_ in scale. He just didn't _understand_...no matter _how_ many ways and times Tali had explained it...his thinking simply didn't work with hacking. While it was amusing to find out Michael actually was _bad_ at something – _atrocious__ more like it_ – it was also getting just a little bit frustrating...

Not that Tali was about to call it quits, it was far too amusing to see Michael stumble around after all...she smirked sadly at the thought even as she watched the man's gaze dart up to the hovering orb he was supposed to hack.

She had made it out of the element zero and pieces of scrap Joker and Garrus had given her during her pilgrimage-party...and was actually quite _pleased_ with the results, something she'd smugly told the two a couple of days ago. So far the most it did was observe and hover, so she could use it to check cramped spaces on the Normandy...but Tali had plans to add something to weld with...and a connector for computers for even better maintenance.

She had even thought about adding a bit more power to it so it could use such a connector to defend itself...and perhaps a holographic projector to confuse anyone trying to shoot it...but such plans had to be pushed to the future. Seemed kind of silly too...not like such a small thing could be of any danger...

She already liked the bit of additional nonsensical code she'd added though...it made the VI in the machine just a bit more fun for a thing that couldn't talk.

With a small beep the drone did a loop before Michael, making him scowl at it. "And you'll be quiet...or obey my command...whatever."

"I took down almost all the firewalls." Tali pointed out, chuckling as she crossed her arms over her chest. "He should be easy to hack for a Quarian _child_..."

A defiant growl and a glare from Michael – which made Tali smirk, revelling in frustrating _him_ for a change – and he looked back to the drone...and then to his omni-tool's screen as his fingers slipped over the controls.

"Okay...how about-ouch!"

His code had reached the drone...and made it fly right into his chest as the nonsense he had typed momentarily confused it. Another beep, followed by a whistle...and the drone flew back to where Tali had commanded it to stay, the orb spinning on its axis in an imitation of amusement.

"Yeah...really funny..." Michael glowered at the drone, one hand rubbing his chest as the other pointed an accusing finger at the small thing: "I know other ways to hack machines you know, involving a screwdriver."

"Hey!" Tali exclaimed in feigned indignity, stepping over to the drone and putting a protective hand under it as well as above it, holding it close to her chest while half-turning away from her student. "Be _nice_ to Chiktikka vas Paus, he's helping out of the kindness of his cogitator you know..."

Michael's hand on his chest dropped, the other coming up, fingers rubbing his forehead as he shook his head. "Ah, yeah...about that name..._why_!"

"He was made during a break in my work...so 'Vas _Paus_' seemed fitting." Tali retorted defensively even as she smirked in amusement under her visor. "And Chiktikka is just _cute_..." Michael arched an eyebrow at her...and she pulled the drone further away from him, hugging it tightly. "...shut up."

"Okay, okay...fine..." Michael held out both hands in placation...only to drop them to his sides as he shook his head: "But why is it a '_he_'?"

Tali turned back to him, releasing Chiktikka...who with a cheerful whoop moved to hover over her shoulder...as she placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head at him. "Why _not_?"

"Hey now, no need to get _upset_..." Michael took a step back in feigned fear, making Tali grin under her visor. "...I'm just saying that Chiktikka isn't a very manly name..."

Tali took two steps forward, hands still on her hips even as she was forced to tilt her head up to look at Michael...and grinned at the continued feigned worry in his stance as he regarded her: "Says _who_?"

"Erm...common sense?" And then Michael jumped back in a crouch, hands over his head as Tali's hands dropped to her sides when she moved after him. "Don't hit me!"

Tali couldn't hold it, she laughed, shaking her head as she took a stumbling step backwards, hands moving to hold her stomach. "_Ha_...yes...because..._ha_...you bruise easily!"

"I really do." Michael smirked at her as he straightened, then cocked his head to the side as he flashed that _irritating_ smile: "Besides, you're surprisingly strong for such a little person."

_Dangerous_ _territory_... Tali shook the thought aside as she smirked: "Well, you know, Quarians – in contrast to humans – were made with _quality_ in mind."

"Ah, of course they are." Michael chuckled, smiling at her.

And she smiled back, even though he couldn't see it, for a moment letting that warm feeling in her chest swell...

And then the console beeped.

Tali practically jumped, icy guilt digging into her chest as she clamped down on the warmth, putting it back behind its bars of friendliness where it belonged. The moment was gone, and reality came back.

It hurt, but that was okay...

Joker's voice was, as always, cheerful: "Commander, we have a transmission from the Council, could you head for the comm room?"

"Already there, Joker." Michael replied...then moved to grab Tali's shoulder as she moved to leave...and smirked at her even as she felt her cheeks burn at the touch. "No, stay, this won't take long I'm sure." That _irritating_ smile...and her knees wobbled. "Beside, I'm sure it'll amuse you." Then he released her...and Tali rubbed where his hand had been, regret whispering at her...unheard. "Bring them up Joker."

Instantly three holograms appeared at the far end of the room, the expected Councillors looking at the pair evenly, or rather, at _Michael_.

_Actually, this __should__ be good_... Tali stepped to the side and crossed her arms over her chest as she observed.

"Councillors, it's an honour." Michael said, the man's voice correct...and not the least friendly as he stepped in front of the holograms with his hands behind his back. "I did not expect a direct call."

The Turian moved forth...only to stop as the Asari placed a hand on his shoulder, her voice soft as she looked to her companions...then Michael: "We have read your mission report Shepard, it's most...interesting." Again the Turian moved...and again the Asari held him back. "Especially over certain..._decisions_ of yours."

_The_ _Rachni_...

"Ah, I gather you have an opinion?" Michael crossed his arms over his chest, smile deceptively friendly, but his entire stance radiated nothing but _amusement_...he might as well have been laughing at them.

For the third time the Turian Councillor moved forth, hand raised in a fist...only for the Salarian to speak: "Not over a communication device _no_, we must make sure such discussions are done privately." He shot the Turian a look. "Through proper _procedures_."

The Turian slowly eased back, his voice shaking ever so slightly with the strain upon his discipline. "Yes, we need you here for a briefing...Commander."

"I'm afraid that's not possible." Michael politely replied, the man's face neutral even as the amusement in his stance _grew_. "We are currently in pursuit of our primary objective, we know he is heading for Virmire and we intend to capture or kill him before he can escape."

"What?" The Turian snapped, only tease back as the Asari placed a hand on his forearm, his voice was still a growl however: "The Council has called you for a debriefing _Spectre_, _obey_."

"A Spectre isn't usually called to be debriefed in the Citadel tower after every mission councillor." Michael retorted, calm, at ease. "And you yourself criticised me for my lack of speed in apprehending our target back on Feros, we are now taking your criticism to heart and making the best of speed for Virmire..." _Now_ the slightest of smirks appeared on his face. "...I thought you'd be happy?"

"Hap-!" The Turian's mouth slammed shut, holding back the exclamation as he shook with anger. A deep breath...and the Turian's shoulders dropped: "You are _of course_ in charge of this operation...but even _Spectres_ have to answer to the _consequences_..."

"Which I'm sure I will when there's time for a full debriefing...now if you don't mind I have work to do." Michael's omni-tool was suddenly glowing as he moved the hand towards the holograms.

The Asari moved forth, voice hurried: "Now Shepard, we _understand_ if you were upset after last the debriefing, but that is _not_ a reason to disrespect this-"

A thump...and the holograms died.

With a chuckle Michael smirked at the projectors, as if he could see the faces of the councillors – arguably the most powerful individuals in citadel space – realising they had been cut off.

He looked strangely...at peace with the decision.

Tali smiled at him...and couldn't help but speak: "Impressive."

"Well..." Michael shrugged and turned to her, grinning. "...I have my better moments."

"No..." Tali's smile turned to a mischievous smirk as she glanced at the still glowing omni-tool around Michael's hand: "...I mean impressive that you managed to shut off the holograms, bet finding the 'off' command tested your abilities."

Michael blinked...then grinned, dropping into a combat pose as he chuckled at her: "Okay, that's _it_, you've been teasing me for _hours_, time for _payback_."

"What are..." Tali's question turned to a _squeal_ as Michael advanced, fingers finding her side before she leapt away. "No!" Her protest was tinged with laughter, she couldn't help it. "I've been _helping_ you!"

Michael simply smirked, still advancing. "_Torturing_ me you mean...now it's time for you to get what's coming to you."

Tali squealed again, realising she was stuck between a wall and the advancing Michael, with nowhere to go...

Nowhere else she _wanted_ to go...

8

8

8

_Thank you to Abydos Jackson who hasn't killed me yet for some reason..._


	47. Chapter 47

They were _alone_.

_Together_.

It was only by chance really, Tali and Kaidan were off in the cockpit helping Joker fine-tune his instruments and make sure all was in the green. As to Wrex...the Krogan had gone to to eat a final meal before their drop, which meant he would be gone for quite some time eating enough food to cover half a table. Meanwhile Garrus had recently finished with checking the Mako and moved to check the Normandy's guns...

Which meant that the cargo hold was empty.

Save the two of them, standing side by side as they checked the team's weapons for their attack on Virmire.

It was nothing but standard procedure, though considering their lack of intelligence Michael was a bit overly cautious, tense.

_No_..._not_ _tense_. She glanced at him, the man seemed..._calm_. He'd been running a lot of general simulations with them to prepare them for whatever they might face, he had ordered the ship to be fine-tuned even more then usual, to prepare everything to _perfection_...but he hadn't been tense about it. Hell, he hadn't even been joking around or been excessively cheerful like he usually was either.

Mostly...he had been surprisingly at ease...

It was _good_ to see...yet _worried_ Ashley. With such a small frigate it was impossible _not_ to hear of what happens on it...and scuttlebutts said he'd been with Tali in the comm room for a full three hours.

Of course it was apparently because Michael wished to know about hacking and such – at least that was what Garrus had said – but given Tali's devious plans...who _knew_ what had happened?

_Yes_, _who_ _knows_...? Ashley licked her lips nervously, her hands fumbling with the clip for her assault rifle as she finished checking it. _She couldn't have_...? _No he wouldn't actually fall for_..._could_ _he_? _I mean she's_..._a __Quarian_..._and_..._he hasn't been avoiding __her_...

In a way it was small miracle she was actually alone with Michael, and _without_ him shying away in any way. But when duty called...he couldn't really avoid her. Not to mention that he'd been too distracted with the preparations to consider her and their ongoing...flirtation?Ashley frowned, she wasn't sure what to call it...a game of cat and mouse perhaps...all she knew was that it had gotten serious by now.

She couldn't wait like some frail princess any more, couldn't play the role she _loathed_ anyway...no, not with Tali so blatantly trying to steal the still unaware Michael away. Or _was_ he still unaware? She shot the man another worried look.

His gaze was fixed on the rifle before him, hands moving with the ease of hours of practice as they assembled it...and the softest of smiles on his lips as his eyes remained distant in memory...

_God_..._no_...

_Hang on Ashley, it could be any number of reasons, hell, he could still be seeing her as a friend __and simply remembering it as a fun time with her_..._as a __friend_._ I mean she's in that suit and with that helmet, what __could__ she have done_? _And Quarians are so flat and wide-assed_..._and sure it's funny to talk_..._but it'll only get you so far_...

She felt her shoulders slump in relief.

_Nah_..._what's the __worst__ thing she could have done to make her intentions clear_? _Besides slipping a hand into his pants and_..._new thought_! She shook her head violently, eyes screwing shut. _Focus_ _girl_! _It's_ _Tali_!_ She'd never __dare__ do that_..._besides_..._no_..._stop_..._thinking_...

"Are you okay?" She flinched, finding Michael's gaze no longer distant as he looked at her in question.

"I...uh..." She cleared her throat, cheeks flushing. "...yes, of course I am...why?"

He gestured for the table: "Because you're trying to fit a heat sink for a pistol into a shotgun..."

"Oh..." Ashley looked down...and felt her blush worsen. "_Oh_! Well...erm...I'm trying new things?"

The man chuckled and shook his head as he looked back to his own work. "Well whatever makes you happy...just make it right before we arrive..."

Silence.

_Fuck it, time to push things_..._just_ _start_ _of_ _easily_...

"Actually...I and others are still surprised you spared that Rachni Queen, it didn't seem like you..." She looked up at him, her breath hitching with nervousness._ Come on girl, you've done this before, never to a war-hero_..._or a man __tougher__ than you_..._but it's still the same_..._yeah_...

"Huh." Again Michael's gaze went distant as he looked down at the table, brow furrowing in thoughts. "That's strange...I thought _you_ if anyone would get it."

"You..." Ashley blinked. "...did?"

"Yes." Michael turned to look at her, eyes surprisingly soft: "You if anyone knows what it's like to be judged by what your ancestors did."

_Oh_...

Ashley's hand dropped down to the table, holding her as she felt something with her shake as the words cut deep._I'm__ the one who inspired that decision_? _But_..._I_ _wouldn't_ _have_ _saved_ _it_ _myself_..._I_... She looked away, voice small. "Yeah...okay. But it's a _Rachni_...we can't really think of it in the same way we do..."

_Liara_. The memory of holding the Asari as she wept flooded Ashley's senses...and she felt the words in her mouth die as the recent realisation again reared its head at her. _Why exclude the Rachni from the Asari and humans? Because of how they look? I_..._have things to think about_...

"Ashley?" Michael's voice drew her out of her thoughts, making her realise that she'd just stopped talking.

She shook her head, smirking at him and his worried look: "Actually..._yes_...I _do_ get it." A small shake of her head, eyes darting down to her hands, the hands that just a few days ago had held an Asari in an embrace of comforting...and smiled softly. "Good call, Mike..."

Silence.

Then a snort: "_Mike_?"

"Yeah." Ashley looked back up, the smile turning into a grin at Michael's arched eyebrow: "Trying it out for size."

The man rubbed the back of his head, head cocked to the side: "Yeah...I'm not the Mike type really..."

Ashley chuckled. _Great, got him, now nudge him_...

"What? The big bad hero going in alone into a nest of Rachni can't be called Mike?"

"Hey, I had _good_ reasons to go in alone." Michael protested, hands shooting up in exasperation. "And really, I'm _not_ a Mike."

Leaning her elbow on the table Ashley smirked at him: "Oh is that _so_ Mike? Because all _I_ saw were a bunch of excuses for you to go and do the hero-shtick."

"They _weren't_ excuses!" Michael chuckled and shook his head, hands dropping to his sides. "And _really_, _not_ Mike."

_Hehe_... Ashley's smirk turned to a grin as she kept her eyes as innocent as possible – which wasn't much – while she spoke: "Oh? How so? _Explain_ how they weren't excuses, Mike..."

"I...that is..." Michael's pressed his lips tightly together, eyes flashing in irritation as he realised he was caught...unable to answer her without agreeing with her side...

A tense silence, Ashley crossing her arms over her chest, hip resting against the table as she looked at Michael's straining face with amusement.

And then his right arm moved up as he raised a lecturing index-finger at her. "And stop calling me _Mike_!"

_Now_! _Go_!

"Ah..." Ashley's hands dropped back to her sides as she moved closer, head tilting back to look up at him as her voice dropped _low_. "...and what if I don't _want_ to?"

"I..." Michael, the big confident hero, swallowed, caught off-guard "...would get upset with you."

_Reel him in_...

"Oh...?" Ashley moved _closer_, feeling his breath against her forehead even as his pointing hand dropped, her gaze following its descent as it nearly brushed her chest. "Should I be afraid...?" She looked up again, seeing Michael swallow again as she looked at him from under her eyelashes. "Hmmm?"

"Maybe..." Michael breathed, even as he inched closer, his scent washing over her...making her breathe in deep, unable to help herself. "Ashley, I don't..." The words died in his mouth.

He was _shaking_...and Ashley didn't know why, but she _did_ know how to make it _stop_. She took his hands, lifted them up...and placed then on her shoulders even as she inched even _closer_.

It made her dizzy...

Her voice was but a whisper: "_Michael_..."

Her hands slid up his arms...snaking underneath and then atop his shoulders, pulling her even closer as she rose onto her toes...feeling his arms wound around her neck...

Eyes closing...

Chest against chest...

Head tilting back...

Lips parting...

His breath, close...

"Commander, we have-"

_Fear_.

The emotion shot through her like lightning, making her push away from Michael's chest even as he released her as if he'd been burnt...and both whirled to look at the source of the interruption.

_Fuck_...

Kaidan and Tali stood just outside the open elevator...and by the looks of things they had come to a violent stop at the sight greeting them.

_Shame_.

Ashley's cheeks, at first flushed...drained at the sight of Kaidan.

He stood rigid before them, hands behind his back, stance stiff and eyes straight ahead, brown eyes stony and emotionless...the very image of a perfect stance of respect before his superiors. Emotionless and cold...uncaring...and all too easy to see through.

_I_...

Ashley blinked, surprised by the sudden pain in her chest as she sought Kaidan's eyes...only for him to stare straight ahead, practically a statue. _God_..._no_..._please_...

There was no forgiveness in the eyes though, no willingness to understand, not after the many times she'd acted interested, only to now throw herself at Michael...

And the worst part was...she _deserved_ it.

Yet she couldn't' _stop_ seeking his eyes, feeling her own swell with tears.

_Kaidan_..._please_..._I didn't_..._I shouldn't have_...

She took half a step forward-

Only to freeze into place as Kaidan's gaze moved to meet hers, not with sympathy or forgiveness, only a cold, unseeing..._uncaring_.

_I_...

Ashley looked down at her feet, unable to meet those eyes any longer, shame throwing her deep into a pit of darkness...feeling her failure of Kaidan as a dagger in her heart...

_I_..._betrayed_ _you_..._I knew of your intention yet said nothing, I only kept you around while hunting Michael_..._I_..._don't deserve either of you_...

It _hurt_.

Not only what she had done to Kaidan, or herself, but the realisation she'd been no better – no, _worse_ – then Tali.

Her eyes, unable to stand looking at herself a moment longer, moved up to Tali, the Quarian stood next to Kaidan, but in contrast to him, she was _not_ a statue.

The Quarian was looking down at her feet, right hand rubbing her limp left arm. A shy glance up...and then she was looking to her right, as far away from Michael as possible...shoulders slumped, her entire being..._awkward_. Both her hands moved up, rubbing her shoulders as her chest shook with a struggling breath, the woman obviously trying to calm herself.

_I'm_..._sorry_...

Ashley felt her shoulders slump, feeling..._wrong_, it had all gone _wrong_..._all_ were hurt...and all for _nothing_. She looked up at Michael...and blinked.

The man looked..._confused_.

His gaze was _fixed_ on Tali and her embarrassed fiddling...and his face cycling between emotions.

Confusion...realisation...shock...surprise...and then confusion again, tinged with something _more_...

Tali glanced up...and then looked back down again, hands dropping in front of her as her fingers intertwined, nervously fretting.

Michael's voice was but a confused whisper: "Tali...?"

The Quarian turned, head downcast...and ran.

A thump of a closing door...and she was gone.

Silence.

"As I was saying..._Commander_..." Kaidan spoke, tone clipped and precise: "...we have finished preparations and **Moreau** is expecting us to reach Virmire within the hour."

Silence.

Then Michael blinking, head jerking as he looked down at the floor. "Yes..." An awkward clearing of his throat. "...thank you Lieutenant...that'll be all..."

Kaidan's hand flew up in a sharp salute, eyes cold. "Yes, Commander." A cold glance at Ashley...and he turned and moved for the elevator.

_Pain_.

It squeezed her heart tightly, made her gasp as Ashley turned, both hands finding the table, steadying herself as she shuddered, regret digging deep within her, making it impossible to breathe.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to battle the storm within her...but couldn't.

_I'm_ _sorry_...

Silence.

Then the soft steps of Michael walking away.

_So_ _sorry_...

And Ashley wept.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	48. Chapter 48

Virmire was beautiful.

Even with the torn remains of a few Geth bobbing in the ankle-deep water that seemed to cover the entire planet there was a...softness to it.

The water was pale blue...gently swirling in currents Tali couldn't feel in her suit's boots as she leant against a boulder and looked out over it. Soft banks of white sand rose here and there out of the water...she wanted to _touch_ it, to run her fingers through it...water and sand alike...

Instead she looked down at her gloved hands...and sighed.

She's been all too reminded of her limitations as of late...and had been thinking far too intensely about it since...she grimaced...back on the Normandy.

Her head hurt, thoughts _still_ swirling around within, unwilling to stop even with the combat of them having taken out the outer Geth sentries and allowed for the anti-air turrets around Saren's base to be taken out so the Normandy could land.

Sure, hitting Saren himself would be a big thing...and his base was large...but so far the mission had fitted neatly into standard manoeuvres...even if the mission _was_ taking longer then most times. And with _time_...came _thoughts_.

She sighed yet again, still staring at her hands, two sets of three fingers moving before her, long and _inhuman_...

Michael had looked so...startled. It _hurt_, to realise he hadn't even _suspected_...that he hadn't even _considered_ her in such a light...

Yet at the same time...there _hadn't_ been disgust in his stance, no _repulsion_ or anger...not even _sympathy_ for her...just surprise and confusion, and _something_, something_ soft_...enough to light that disgusting flicker of _hope_...

On the other hand...he and Ashley had been so _close_, so _near_ one another...lips nearly brushing against one another, lips that _could_ brush one another...that had to mean _something,_ right?

Yet...his question, just her _name_, it carried _something_ in it...something other_ than_ surprise...something she _still_ felt echo within her heart...that still made her..._hope_...

She hated herself for feeling it...it was ridiculous after all...and sighed as she eased away from her rest, too tired with the conflict in her mind that she couldn't resolve. _Stop thinking about it, you have work to do and_... She looked down at her hands again, the gloves moving as she clenched her hands into fists, straining against a prison that simply moved with them. _Just_..._just_ _stop_.

Instead she turned to the others while taking a deep breath, forcing herself to focus.

Of the rest of the ground team Liara was the only one who seemed to give the surroundings a look, the Asari standing on a white beach as her head craned back to look at one of the many nearly vertical mountainous cliffs that rose out of the ground. Before these cliffs had been scattered around, as if thrown out by some giant, long pillars reaching up for the sky. But the closer to Saren's base they had come the more packed they had become, not lone pillars but long _walls_ of the mountains that made for a beautiful, if confusing, labyrinth. _And within the monster lurks_...

In sharp contrast to her Garrus was sitting on the beach next to her, hands constantly moving as he checked his sniper rifle, his pistol, his omni-tool and his armour...over and over, in that order. Judging by the way his mandibles clicked together he was also listening in on the others...

As to them...

Michael was off by the tents of the STG's camp, talking with the Captain of the Salarian special forces unit. Wrex was just behind him, the Krogan by the looks of it covering the man from Ashley and Kaidan further behind, the two humans standing next to one another, statues for all they moved.

Between the three humans there was a clear awkwardness...and Tali could only thank the ancestors that Wrex had interposed his bulk between Michael and the two others to allow him to concentrate. She wasn't sure how Wrex knew of them having an issue, perhaps it was extremely obvious...or perhaps he was more observant then those red eyes gave the impression of.

Tali wasn't sure _where_ she had any of the humans by now. Michael was...a _mystery_, or at least his _disposition_ towards her was. Kaidan...well the two shared a pain...but neither wanted to speak of it. As to Ashley...all hostility had disappeared between the two of them...but neither was there friendship, it was just...a _void_.

It was the loss of three companionships...and Tali was glad for the mission forcing her to focus...or she'd despair.

Moving closer she saw Michael nod, mouth moving to ask something...and then nodding again, brow furrowed, worried but concentrated. The Salarian Captain gave the same impression, his movements just a _little_ too fast, a little too short...they were both professionals, Commanders of high quality...and they were worried.

Tali had already talked to a few of the dozen Salarians resting in the camp...and apparently their numbers had been cut in half just _scouting_ Saren's base. _And we're supposed to destroy it, or kill the man deep within it, Keelah_...

But there would be no waiting for reinforcement, she could see it in the way the two commanders nodded to one in understanding, the way they kept their voice down just a hint, despite it not being needed...the rest no doubt knew it too. Saren could not be allowed to escape, and judging by the way the Salarians acted, there was something _else_ too...

She moved closer.

Michael's voice was calm as ever, as if he was discussing nothing but the latest report: "Sounds like a plan, I'm not comfortable with your team taking the front, but as you said, there's little choice."

"Agreed." The Salarian nodded, shoulders slumping, the man _knowing_ he'd lose men...but accepting it, his head looking up: "But what of my request?"

Michael lifted his left arm, not looking away from the Salarian: "Williams, you're up, radio operator and fire support for the STG."

Ashley took a step forward, only to stop as Kaidan did the same, voice respectful, even if his stance was anything _but_ that: "Sir, with all due respect, I'd advise that _I_..."

"Like hell you will." Ashley snapped, voice low...and the two humans looked at one, eyes narrowed, a confusing mix of emotions running through their stances. Desire, want, fear, worry, anger, sorrow, grief...

Tali felt her heart quiver at the sight...it wasn't _right_...the two could have been so _good_ together...and now whatever they might have lay _shattered_, despite them _both_ wanting it mended...

Michael glanced back, eyes narrowing even as the Salarian scratched his head in confusion. "_Williams_ will be fire support, Alenko, I want _you_ to take the STG's bomb aboard the Normandy and prep it for deployment, just like we did with the Geth base. Is that understood?" The two other humans still didn't look away from one another...and Michael's voice rose with a hint of anger: "Is that _understood_?"

A final cold look at Ashley, his stance one of sorrow however, and Kaidan straightened to look straight ahead, hand coming up for a salute: "Aye, aye..._Commander_..."

A narrowing of his eyes as Michael observed the Lieutenant's salute...and then Michael turned back to face the Salarian Captain: "Is that to your satisfaction?"

"Yes, sorry but we _do_ need an extra gun, and more importantly it will aid in communications, cooperation is the key here." The Salarian replied, then his gaze darted to Wrex for some reason, apprehension in his stance. "Should we perhaps discuss _my_ team's need for a rapid strike in private...?"

Silence.

Michael glancing back at Wrex...who shrugged in disinterest...then he looked back to the Salarian, arms over his chest: "The troops on the ground always find out in the end, let's have it out now, rather then later."

"Fair point." The Salarian conceded with a nod, though his hands dropped to rest on his hips, close to his pistol...his behaviour..._wary_. "We have discovered that Saren's base is in fact a lab, a lab where he's breeding an army, an army of Krogan."

"_How_...is that possible?" Wrex growled, the Krogan's disinterest evaporating even as Kaidan and Ashley took a wary step away from him.

"It seems..." The Salarian hesitated, inching backwards. "...that Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage."

Silence.

Tali watched Wrex, feeling her throat turn dry.

The Krogan hadn't moved, his hands hanging limp by his sides, yet for all that there was a tension in him...a _conflict_...a _want_. She'd only heard bits and pieces of Wrex's tale, something about the Krogan refusing to unite even with the genophage, how they would soon be gone _despite_ Wrex's earlier efforts...

And now the cure was _there_, right before him.

_Keelah_...

The Salarian's head twitched, looking to Michael: "With this army at his disposal and his Geth Saren will have an army capable of conquering entire star systems, he _must_ be stopped. By destroying the base and his lab we will stop-"

"_Stop_?" Wrex echoed, the Krogan taking a heavy step towards the Salarian, a _threatening_ step. "You want to _destroy_ the cure for my people?"

Michael turned, hand finding Wrex's chest: "Wrex, listen-"

Wrex's hand shot up, clawed finger pointing at the Salarian's head as he pushed closer, his eyes narrowed into slits: "Your oh so civilised Salarians _used_ us Krogans! Only _discard_ us when you were _done_ with us, justifying your genocide with talks of _fertility_ and _Krogan_ violence! At least _we_ didn't kill _millions_ of children while they're in the _wound_,_ at_ least _we_ didn't stay in our cities and palaces revelled in our victory as our enemies _wept_ over their _piles_ of stillborn."

"Wrex..." Michael's voice was low, a warning.

The Krogan shot him a look, only to bare his teeth in a growl as he looked back to the Salarian, finger trembling as it shot even closer to the tense Salarian's face: "And now you say you want to _destroy_ the cure...you may say _we_ are the barbarians..._but_ we are not the ones with making laws against genocide even as we enact it..."

The Salarian actually swallowed at the words, hesitating: "I..."

"Save your words." Wrex snorted, an angry shake of his head as he turned. "The Krogan have seen your true colours, nothing you can say can bring the lives of the dead back." With a grunt he moved forward, brushing Kadian and Ashley both aside as he marched towards a suddenly frightened Tali.

Only to come to an abrupt stop at the edge of the beach, the Krogan's head downcast, looking down at the water gently brushing against his feet, hands tightening into fists of frustration at whatever he saw. _Himself_..._powerless_.

Tali made to move towards him, unsure how to help...only to find Michael move in Wrex's footsteps, quickly catching up to the Krogan, left hand landing on Wrex's left shoulder even as he looked down at his feet, pondering his words.

It would be words meant to make Wrex fall in line again, to make him useful for them again, Tali knew it, it was Michael's way.

But she also knew it would be words he _meant_, words he believed...even if he himself didn't know it.

He looked up...and Tali felt her breath hitch as their eyes met. Whatever he was about to say to the Krogan visibly slipped from his lips, his body tensing as he was conflicted between the need to make Wrex well...and..._another_. To speak with her...but to say _what_...she didn't know.

She licked her lips, throat dry...and looked down at her feet, unable to meet that gaze a moment longer as longing, embarrassment and fear shot through her like fire.

_Keelah_..._I_ _should_ _have_ _left_ _when_ _I_ _had_ _the_ _chance_. She knew she didn't mean the thought...but it helped none the less.

A clearing of his throat...and Tali heard Michael's voice: "Wrex. I..."

"It's not right, Michael." The Krogan rumbled, surprising Tali, there was _pain_ in his voice. "By rights...my people don't deserve this."

Silence.

Then Michael's voice, soft: "When were things _ever_ right? When did you see _true_ justice? When did _anyone_ get what they _deserved_?"

Silence.

Then Wrex's voice, harsh but low: "True..." A low growl: "Better to take what you _can_...Saren might be a monster but he's _helping_ my people..."

"Wrex, you _know_ he isn't..."

She couldn't help it...she looked up.

Michael stood next to Wrex, facing the Krogan as his left hand remained on the mercenary's shoulder, his other hand on Wrex's wrist...and his face earnest. _Does he even know how much of his mask has fallen off_?_ How much of his emotions that now show_? Tali looked away, chest heaving with a shaky breath_. I..._should_ stop thinking about him_..._it'll only_... Another shaky breath. _It'll only make things more difficult when he_..._he_...

Wrex snorted. "Oh? Then what _is_ he doing?"

"He's _using_ the Krogan, you _know_ this." Michael sighed...and Tali looked up in time to see him move to stand in front of Wrex, both hands one a massive shoulder as he looked into Wrex's eyes. "When he's helped the Reapers come forth _all_ life will end, _Krogan_ as well, you know this. And even if that wasn't the case...Wrex...your people were _used_ by the Asari and Salarians...I don't deny it, you were tools in their war against the Rachni, dependent on them to move into the galaxy even as you fought for them..."

A weary sigh escaped Wrex, the Krogan's shoulders slumping: "What's your point?" Tali shook her head softly, even with Michael blocking her view it was obvious, Wrex _already_ knew the answer...he just didn't want to hear it.

_Amazing how similar the two are when you think about it_..._Keelah_..._stop it Tali_...

She knew she couldn't however, instead she only stood there...and watched as Michael spoke: "Saren is doing the _same_ thing. _He_ holds the cure, he holds your future, _every_ Krogan will be his to command..._tools_ to wage _his_ war...is that what you want?"

Silence.

Then Wrex body moved as he brushed Michael's hands off, voice growing in volume, self-assured and calm as always: "No, it isn't, my people might die out, but we will not be slaves again."

A pat on Wrex's shoulder: "Good."

"Right." A click of Wrex drawing his shotgun, the Krogan's face splitting into a shark-like smile: "Enough with this sensitive crap, let's go turn Saren's face into a bloody pulp."

Michael chuckled, the man echoing Wrex's grin with a nod. "Damn right. You and..." He looked up, past Tali...who felt herself stiffen in...she wasn't sure what actually...at the mere brush of his gaze. "...Liara are with me in Shadow, we infiltrate through the rear of the enemy base." His gaze moved over to Garrus, the Turian already moving towards him, having heard everything and just waiting for the call: "Garrus, you're Light, Shadow's spotter and scout." A look towards Tali...and she straightened, feeling his _need_ surge through her. "Tali, you're with Garrus."

Silence.

The team gathering round him even as the Salarians did the same over by their Captain...

The awkwardness among the humans and Tali gone, pushed aside by _purpose_.

Michael nodded at them, the fire of his need to which the others gathered round moving through them, uniting them, united with the purpose to do what _he_ commanded...to be _greater_ than themselves. He looked to them...and they looked back.

And in his voice there was nothing but _conviction_: "Today we win."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for dealing with this nuisance. (Me, not the chapter.)_


	49. Chapter 49

Tali was rapidly re-evaluating her opinion of Virmire.

Sure, it was beautiful, a feast for the eyes. And considering the dozens – if not a near hundred – times they'd fought Geth on asteroids or planets covered in desert and ice it was a good change of scenario...if one cared about such things while fighting for one's _life_.

_Not that I'm currently __doing__ that_...

Tali gritted her teeth in irritation and moved over yet another sharp boulder resting atop the winding mountain range, Garrus right ahead of her coming to a halt as he sighted down below with his sniper rifle, mandibles flaring in excitement: "This is Light, two targets at eleven, scouts, keep down."

Yet Virmire was also a damn irritating, rocky..._thing_!

Garrus had led them over boulder after boulder, the two climbing ahead of Michael's team to scout out any enemies from the vantage point of the slippery tops of Virmire's mountains. It was surprisingly straining to climb up and down and Tali's breath sounded heavy in her visor. Yet they still managed to stay ahead, mostly because Michael and his team had to fight through enemy patrols and outposts on their way to Saren's base.

And _that_ was the annoying part...Tali grumbled even as she heard Michael's voice through the comm: "Shadow here, staying low."

A glance down and Tali could see the three of Shadow team, small from such a distance, as they ducked behind a boulder that might have fallen from the mountains above for all she knew, there were quite a few of them after all._ I wish I was down there_...

"What is it?"

"Huh?" Looking up she found Garrus still aiming down, but no finger on the trigger as he shot her a glance that made her shrug: "What are you talking about?"

"You've been sounding irritated for an hour now..." Garrus pointed out...then shrugged as well as he turned back to the view below, his comm clicking open. "Light here, scouts preceding larger contingent...counting thirty units."

"We strike at your call." Came Shepard's calm reply, as it had many times already.

Tali sighed, checking her omni-tools scanner by habit, but finding no other signals but those Garrus had spotted: "It's just...we're not doing anything, I just want to..." _Be there with him, even if he doesn't want it_... "..._do_ something this mission."

"We've spotted four enemy outposts and thirteen patrols for them, I wouldn't call that nothing." Garrus chuckled.

"Yes but I..." Tali squirmed, knowing she wasn't making sense. "...wanted to do a bit more hands-on assistance.." _I __really__ want to shoot something_...

"If we start using our omni-tools against the enemy or fire down at them we'll risk revealing our position, we can't do that." Garrus retorted, a hint of amusement in his stance even as he aimed down at the enemy.

"I _know_ that you..." Tali bit down, holding her tongue as she took a deep breath. Right, not productive... "Sorry, just tense."

"Don't worry about it." A shrug, and the amusement in Garrus' stance heightened: "And don't worry, I'm sure he can take care of himself."

"I know that but-" Tali blinked, words caught in her throat as she looked at Garrus...who still looked down his sight as he _grinned_, making her blush. "Wha...not I didn't mean it like that, I meant...ehhh...Keelah..."

A shrug from the Turian: "Don't worry about it."

Tali could only shake her head, too tired to argue: "Don't...I don't want to think about it..."

"Eh." Garrus shrugged. "Give him some time."

_Huh_? "W-what are-"

"Oh, look, here we go." Garrus chuckled as he interrupted Tali's confused stutter, eyes narrowing down the sight as he clicked back into the communicator: "Light here, engage."

Tali opened her mouth for a question...only to find her gaze drawn downwards as Michael's team sprang from cover.

The Geth had moved in an open column down the path a few dozen feet away from Shadow team's position...and now that column came apart in an explosion of fire and death as a lobbed grenade exploded right in its centre, rapidly followed by Wrex's and Michael's assault rifles opening up, tearing a seven of the stumbling machines apart before they could even steady themselves.

The two scouts ahead too fell, Liara's pistol rapidly finishing them off as they turned in what almost seemed like confusion. _Geth can't get confused_..._but Keelah it's hard to tell at times_...

It was strange to see a fight and not participate in it, at least from such a relatively close distance...

The Geth not downed by the grenade and enfilading fire were throwing themselves for cover, one too slow and simply collapsing atop the boulder it was trying to reach, its milky blood pouring over it as it died.

Michael had trained with them, done simulations with them all for hours...and Tali knew _exactly_ her position in any number and combination of squad-members, exactly where to move, how to lend assistance...Michael had drilled those lessons into the team until it was second nature to them.

Yet it was strange to see it without being a part of it, to see how _well_ it worked.

Below Wrex had broken cover, moving sharply to the right while pouring inaccurate fire towards the Geth, making them turn and open up on him...as Michael's own shots struck Geth after Geth, not enough to damage, just enough to down their shields so his fire could move to the next Geth...

And then Liara was aglow...and half a dozen Geth were rendered airborne as their unshielded bodies were pulled towards the glowing orb of Liara's singularity...a moment later they were torn open as Michael and Liara both opened up on them.

A beep from Tali's omni-tool told her the Geth were trying to call for reinforcement, but her disruption was still in place and there was no response as the surviving Geth tried to retreat...

Only for the flanking Krogan, forgotten in the orgy of biotic-assisted destruction, to come charging in, his bulk crushing a Geth underneath even as his shotgun gutted another. A third jumped at Wrex in an attempt to hold him off...only to be launched airborne by a flash of Liara's biotics, leaving Wrex free to charge into a whole cluster of the machines.

They fell, bowled over, crushed underfoot, a single stumbling one having its arm torn off as Wrex grabbed it with his free hand and pulled, his other busy slamming his shotgun into the chest of another before send the contents of its chest pouring out the sudden hole in its back.

A rocket trooper, having escaped the trampling charge of the Krogan, brought its weapon to bear...only for its head to come apart from a closer-ranged burst as Michael came charging in, the human tackling the remains into two other machines as he and Wrex tore into them...

Further off two Geth began to run...only for one to be violently jerked back in a flash of biotics, flying back...and then being tripped onto its back by Liara, the Asari pouring bullets into its chest.

The other one managed three steps more...then fell face down into the water with its neck smashed open as a single shot echoed.

Tali flinched, looked over at Garrus, and frowned. _'Risk revealing our position' hmmm_? Leaning back against a boulder she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him._ 'Must not engage' hmmm_?

"What?" Garrus ejected the spent shot with a click and a hiss, glancing over at her. "It was about to escape, could have set off the alarms..."

Silence, Tali glaring at him.

"Come _on_! It was just _one_ little..." Garrus gestured at the downed machine, trying to look innocent even as his stance _screamed_ shameless amusement along with just the _tiniest_ mote of guilt.

Tali silenced him with merely a shift of her stance, leaning on her right leg as she kept her arms firmly folded over her chest.

A huff...and the Turian looked back down at now silent battlefield: "Shut up..."

_Heh – _Tali smiled at Garrus, glad to still have _his _friendship at least_ – idiot_...

8

8

8

"Shadow is in."

Michael scanned the room with wary eyes, but besides a few now smashed mechs there were nothing in the room save the large boxes you'd expect in a storage area.

"Light, move down to our location for rearguard against any enemy reinforcement, Shadow is proceeding." He waved forward...and the other two were instantly at his back as they moved towards the two doors at the other end of the large room.

_Mission proceeding as planned, lack of primary objective worrying however_. _Where is Saren and how is he reacting_? His hand darted up, changing channel on his helmet. "Aegohr, this is Shadow, reached enemy compound and proceeding as planned. What's your status?"

"This is Aegohr." Captain Kirrahe's voice was strained, intense gunfire clear in the background. "We had dug in but are now about to begin a tactical retreat, taking a lot of fire...no casualties however." There was the slightest hint of pride in the Captain's voice...and Michael felt himself echo it.

_We can do this_.

It was easy to feign confidence in front of the team, hell, he was so good at it he even _believed_ it when he said it. But _now_, when he could judge the odds without having to look anyone but the _enemy_ in the eye...he knew they so far had been lucky. A base full of Krogan and Geth led by Saren...the probabilities didn't sit well with Michael.

_No casualties so far, we're making headway, we __will__ make more_.

"Acknowledged, Shadow out."

Ahead he looked up at the signs above the two doors...and frowned. The one to the left was clearly the one he was supposed to take, containing the breeding chamber, power plant, communications, the anti-air turrets and something simply called the 'chamber'. _Private quarters for Saren_?

Yet the other said 'labs'...and Michael couldn't help but _wonder_...there were too many unanswered questions, too much hidden in the dark about Saren and his doings...

_We_ _hurry_.

"Team, with me." Michael waved at the others, jogging for the rightmost door, assault rifle moving forth in readiness as the door opened...and revealed the strangest of rooms...

It was an open room, deprived of any decorations, the floor and walls a matt black, making the pale white lamps high above look like tiny stars in a miniature galaxy. At the far end there were several glass doors leading into smaller cells...and all hanging open, their occupants set free.

And who had been the occupants was painfully clear.

_Kirrahe __did__ say the Geth had been capturing wounded team members instead of killing them_...

The Salarians – dressed in simple white shirts reaching their bony calves – were stumbling hither and dither, their eyes vacant as they walked with slouched shoulders, just _walked_, turning randomly...drool dripping from half-opened mouths...

_God_...

And among them all...a single pale blue Asari dressed as a scientist bending over a Salarian that had fallen over, brow creased in interest as the fallen man looked back up, green blood dripping down one nostril even as he stared vacantly into the air.

"What _is_ this?" Liara asked the question on Michael's lips...and the Asari spun round to face them, eyes wide and hands clutching a data-slate tightly.

"W-who are you?" Her voice trembled, left foot moving backwards in fear... "I...you're not s-supposed to be in here."

"Answer the question." Wrex growled, the Krogan's shotgun humming as he charged it up. "Now."

The Asari paled even further, eyes widening as she stared at the Krogan. "T-this i-is the l-labs..."

"These are the STG." Michael retorted, stepping forward, eyes scanning the mindless husks slowly moving back and forth with disgust. "What have you _done_ to them?"

"_Nothing_!" The woman squealed, the slate dropping to the floor with a crack as her hands shot up in the air. "_I_ haven't done anything!"

"Wrong answer." Wrex rumbled, the Krogan's steps heavy as he followed Michael as the two advanced on the scientist. "Try again."

"I...I..." The woman's eyes darted from Michael to Wrex, faster and faster, her mouth open and moving, yet no words coming.

_Enough__, we are on a timetable_. "_Why_ are they like _this_!" Michael grabbed the woman's collar and wrenched her close, making her cry out in terror even as he slammed the barrel of his assault rifle into her gut, eyes blazing as she hers widened. "Answer! _Now_!"

"Ah!" The Asari's hands moved down, clutching her scalp as she screwed her eyes shut. "I'm just _studying_ them! I didn't _do_ it to them! They just _get_ like that! Saren wants to know how it _works_!"

"How _what_ works!"

"Indoctrination! Please! Goddess _please_!" The Asari tried to pull out of his grip in panic, only to fall onto her back as Michael's hand pushed and released.

He glowered at her, stepping after her as she crawled backwards, until she stopped with a whimper when he stomped down on her ankle. _Keep pushing, information vital_. His voice was now a hiss: "_What_...is indoctrination?"

"I...it's what he calls it." The Asari hesitated, trembling even as she with a frown struggled to think. "It's what Sovereign does, his ship, it makes people think differently, changes them, makes them..._simpler_." She shook her head, chest heaving with panicked breaths. "Makes them _want_ to do what he says, makes them _need_ to do it..."

_Shiala and Benezia said the same thing_...

Michael lowered his rifle...and the Asari breathed out in relief even as Wrex snorted. "Why would Saren need to study it? It's _his_ ship."

"I...I don't know..." The woman shook her head. "He doesn't tell us much, just to do _this_ and _that_...I only know that he doesn't understand the indoctrination but uses it...I...I think he might be worried about it."

_If he doesn't understand the nature of his own ship_..._yes it's plausible_._ But why doesn't he understand it in the first place_? _Unless_..._does he fear the __Geth__ are controlling __him__ via the ship_? _Something_..._doesn't add up_... "And this is the result of it?"

"Yes..." The Asari shrugged even as she swallowed. "We _amplified_ it so as to simulate it having been in effect for _longer_...and they quickly turned to _this_. I...Saren wants a means to counter it."

"I bet..." Wrex chuckled low, though it was a _grim_ chuckle.

Michael turned back to the others, finding Wrex glaring down at the scientist as Liara looked at the Salarians, the woman looking a little sick. "Whether Saren is being controlled by the Geth or not is not important, he needs to die anyway, but I doubt he'd like if his research was suddenly no more...could give us an edge." He met Wrex's eyes...and nodded...and the Krogan smiled.

"S-so..." The scientist rose to her feet behind Michael. "...I can go?"

"No." Michael turned, the Asari screamed...and then fell as Michael fired a round into her chest. "You cannot."

Silence.

Then Liara's voice, soft: "That was...harsh of you."

Michael didn't turn, knowing her opinion of his crueller memories all too well. "If she lived Saren could recover her and what research she remembered if he escapes now, I will _not_ give him that option, this is a battle of wills as well as weapons Liara..."

_Too_ _true_...

He grimaced, head bowing as he realised he hadn't simply shot the scientist out of such clinical reasons: "Besides..._look_ at them..." Michael gestured for the Salarians, the creatures not even having reacted to the sudden gunfire as the with slouchy steps continued their slow walking. "...she _lied_ to us, she said she _hadn't_ caused this, yet then she said she'd _amplified_ the effect..."

"I...did not catch that..." Liara muttered, shamed.

_Of course not, you were too horrified with what's around you_..._I cannot allow myself that however_.

Wrex said it, claw pointing at one of the Salarians idly scratching a long wound along his arm, not caring about the blood he was drawing. "No one doing _that_ to people deserves to live."

Silence.

Then Michael nodded with a sigh: "Exactly."

Silence.

Then a shrug.

_Continue with mission_...

A glance up at the mindless creatures, stumbling about, dead inside.

..._in_ _a_ _moment_.

Michael raised his assault rifle once more, this time at the Salarians...

A long, sweeping volley...and it was over.

Silence.

The air filled with the stench of death.

_Innocent faces looking at him, bloodied, ruined, __his__ responsibility_...

Michael grimaced...bowed his head...and pushed the memory aside.

"Move out..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continuing help._


	50. Chapter 50

It was liquid fire in her blood.

Boiling, churning, raging...

And then ice, crystallising into into a purple flash flying forth from her hands.

The last Krogan baring their way cried out...and was then lifted off his feet by the biotic power smashing into his wide chest, sending him tumbling over the railing and down the long fall of the cliff-side Saren's base was resting atop.

And then there was silence, only her heaving breaths as she with a force of will drew back the crackling power in her hand...and looked up at the door ahead.

They were outdoors on a walkway, a walkway splitting into two paths. The one to the right lead towards the large brooding shape of the main part of Saren's base...and the other to a far smaller structure where the sign above merely stated 'chamber'. _What_ _does_ _that_ _mean_?

Then Wrex was plodding past her, his steps heavy as he pointed at the building. "You think that's Saren's chamber?" The hand moved down to his shotgun, ejecting a spent shell. "Think he's in it?"

"We'll find out." Michael retorted, he too brushing past Liara, his left shoulder stained with the orange blood of a slain Krogan.

Liara sighed, she felt tired, _drained_. There were so _many_ enemies...and using biotics was taxing in even the best of situations. She knew that she could go on for a few more hours...but that didn't mean she was looking forward to more fighting. _I wish I was back with my digs_...

_Saren brainwashed my mother_...

The thought was so sudden, so surprising, that Liara blinked. Then she looked up, back at the building, and found her hands crackle with energy as she closed them into fists. _He'll_ _pay_...

Jogging forth she caught up with the other two just as the door opened, her right fist lunging back to hurl a singularity into it...only to find her energy fade as she stared in surprise at the interior of the room.

There wasn't much in the room, it was square, undecorated, even lacking _furniture_. But the floor dropped rapidly ten feet into the room, making way for a grilled balcony of blackened steel that lead a further six feet into the room...

Right up to the beacon.

A green, glowing, _perfectly_ preserved, Prothean beacon.

Her hands dropped to her sides, legs moving on their own as she followed the others into the room, staring. "W-where did Saren find this?"

"Who knows?" Wrex grunted, the Krogan shrugging in disinterest as he leant against the wall to the right, observing as Michael and Liara advanced closer. "I doubt it'll help us to get to Saren though, so just do that melding thing with it so we can continue."

"You can't just jump into such things!" Liara protested with a hiss, glaring back at Wrex...who only smirked in amusement. _Impossible_ _man_..._tell him off and he approves, ignore your injuries and he __approves_..._Krogan_. "Who knows what information a completely whole beacon contains? It could shred our minds when we tried to communicate it for all we know."

"They haven't succeeded doing that to Michael yet." Wrex retorted with a smug smirk. "And now he understands the Protheans thanks to that commando...seems like a small risk."

_By the goddess_... "That doesn't prove _anything_, _yes_ he has so far managed to deal with such vast and strange information, and _yes_ he has now a better chance to deal with such, but this is an unknown thing, a _new_ beacon may well carry _new_ information, and who _knows_ how much information a _whole_ one can contain?"

"So it's okay to risk your life fighting Saren and his army of Geth...but not to plug into the Protheans version of the extranet?" Wrex chuckled at her, making Liara sigh.

_At times I can't help but wonder if he's simply trying to get a rise out of me_..._ridiculous man_. "Those are completely different things, battling the Geth is a necessary risk, to use the beacon – at least without ample preparations – _isn't_, and don't call it the extranet, their way of transmitting information is completely different and with a completely different purpose, this is important information, not..._gossip_."

"Ah." Wrex grinned at her...and Liara felt her foot tap the floor in irritation at the words to come. "So I'm sure the Protheans _never_ did _anything_ but look regal and speak of important matters of philosophy? Can't have the high and mighty race of your studies actually act like sentient organics can we? That would make them – and studying them – less...noble?"

"That's _not_ what I'm..." Liara's hand moved up, fingers rubbing her temple. "Why are we even arguing?"

Wrex chuckled. "_You_ are because I got you defensive." A shrug, teeth bared in a grin: "_I_ am to distract you from what Michael's doing."

"Wha...?" Turning Liara felt panic grip her heart at the sight of Michael, unheeding of her arguments, stepped up to the beacon, arms out wide, as if about to embrace it. "Michael you can't-!"

Too late.

With a sudden glow of power from the beacon Michael was lifted off the ground, his arms straining outwards as they jerked with a spasm while his back arched backwards, becoming taut like a bow as his body went rigid.

And Liara could only stare, mouth open.

She had _heard_ how it looked, even seen videos of fools that stepped in front of damaged beacons and then had their minds ripped asunder...yet it didn't fully translate to actually seeing it yourself.

It made her feel...small.

_To have such technology_..._the Protheans were very powerful_.

She didn't like to think about what that meant to their own chances of defeating the Reapers.

The glow _intensified_, turning Michael into nothing but a cross-shaped shadow as the green light made Liara turn her head sideways, eyes narrowing as she raised a hand towards it...

A final flash...and Michael landed on one knee, arms dropping to his sides and head lowered.

_Is he_...? Liara straightened, watching Michael's heaving back with relief, realising he was breathing...yet otherwise he didn't move a muscle.

Silence.

Her steps seemed painfully loud in the room as she moved closer, head cocked as she observed Michael, worries of his fate still lingering in the back of her mind. "Michael...are you well?"

Silence.

Then the tiniest of whispers: "_Yes_..."

Liara's shoulders sagged with relief even as she smiled in excitement: "What did you see?"

Finally he moved, still on one knee the marine turned his head to the right. The green glow of the beacon reflecting in his visor, making the scar over his eye glow a dark green. There was the tiniest of smiles on his lips...and Liara found herself shivering.

"_Hope_..."

Liara swallowed, then found her smile widening, despite it not being a real answer, despite her curiosity...the simple word spoken by a man that didn't know what hope _was_...it made her chest swell with belief...if not for the future then at least for him...

Then the light _changed_, the green fading into yellow, amber...and then a dark red, making the scar over Michael's eye look like blood.

Liara looked up...and found her mouth go dry as she saw black cracks appear in the beacon that now glowed a crimson red.

"**There **_**is**_** no hope**."

The voice, dark and deep, reverberated within the chamber even as the glow of the beacon intensified...projecting a picture of a ship Liara had seen in her dreams _far_ too often...

_Sovereign_...

"**Pathetic creatures of flesh and blood, touching my mind in your blundering**."

Michael smoothly rose to his feet, the man narrowing his eyes at the hologram. "You're not Saren..."

"**Saren, a creature greater then you, yet even he is but another insect**." The hologram glowered brightly, the 'eyes' of the great ship looking back at Michael.

"You're..." Michael looked down at his feet even as Liara felt the realisation flood her as well. Indoctrination, Saren's worry, a ship larger than the Geth should be able to produce, her mother, Shiala, all talking of the _ship_...not as just a ship, but as a _power_. "...not a ship...you're a Reaper?"

"**What you or the Protheans call us is irrelevant, you will all end**. **The cycle cannot be broken**."

"Those before the Protheans..." Liara whispered, taking a step forward. "...you destroyed them too..."

"**The cycle has continued for longer then you can imagine, and it will continue long after you are gone**."

Michael took a step forward, the man's fists hitting the railing as he glared at the hologram. "Why?"

"**Our reasons are beyond your understanding creature**. **Races evolve, develop, and are then destroyed, as it will always be**."

"You're just _one_ machine..."

"**I am a **_**nation**_**, united and free of all weaknesses organics suffer. Soon the others will come, our numbers will be legion. You cannot win**."

"But _why_..."

"**Organic life is an **_**accident**_." There was _scorn_ in its voice. "**You are weak, **_**we**_** are the peak of existence, you exist because we allow it, and will end because we demand it**."

Liara watched Michael's hands as the tightened on the railing, his words coming through clenched teeth. "And we will stop you."

"**Confidence born out of ignorance, we are **_**eternal**_." The hologram throbbed, the cracks in the beacon widening. "_**We**_** made the Mass Relays, **_**we**_** made the Citadel, your defences will fall**."

Liara blinked, surprised she could even _feel_ surprise after the shock of the sight before her. "Why would you make them only so we could find them...?"

"**Organic life is unpredictable, **_**we**_** lead you down the path of of development **_**we**_** desire**." There was a crack as a part of the beacon fell off. "**Your every advancement, your every settlement, we have **_**guided**_** you there**."

Michael voice was but a shocked whisper: "So you'll know what technology and defences you'll face...you've set the entire galactic civilisation up to be destroyed..."

"**You cannot resist, you cannot fight, we know your every defence before you've even **_**made**_** it**." A crack, a long part of the beacon falling to the floor with a crash. "**There is no hope, you will fall**."

Silence.

Michael breathing heavily, glaring down at his feet.

Then back up, eyes mere slits: "I will _not_ accept that."

Silence.

The hologram observing him, weighing him up.

"**This exchange is over**."

A flash of crimson light...and the beacon shattered, momentarily blinding Liara as with a gasp she stumbled backwards and fell to the floor.

Then nothing, she and Wrex both struggling to their feet, staring at Michael as the marine stood leaning over the railing, head bowed and hands clenched tight, the beacon before him nothing but a smoking wreckage.

Silence.

Then Michael straightened, hand moving up to his helmet. "This is Shadow, what is it?"

Jokers voice held just a hint of panic as the pilot spoke: "Sir, Sovereign just appeared from behind the sun and is moving towards Virmire..._really_ fast...did you piss it off or something?"

Michael turned, face grim. "Shadow acknowledges." His hand dropped, his gaze moving to the two in the team, eyes cold, _refusing_ to feel the shock still shuddering through Liara. "You heard him, we have to hurry."

"T-that thing..." Liara pointed at the shattered beacon, finding her finger shaking. "...i-it's a..."

Michael gripped her hand, moving it down, eyes cold, but calm, boring into her...and Liara found her shaking stopping. "Let _me_ worry about that..."

It was all too easy to accept...and Liara's shoulders slumped.

"O-okay."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for tolerating me._


	51. Chapter 51

_A Reaper_.

_Sovereign's a Reaper_.

The words of the machine echoed through Michael's mind, making the visions of the Prothean beacons flutter just beyond his vision. Cries of anguish and agony...Michael wasn't sure if it was that of the Prothean or the Krogan he'd just blown a leg off as his team pushed through the Krogan breeding chamber...it was all...blurring together.

_Take out the anti-air guns, ensure the Normandy can land with the bomb, __do__ it_.

He clenched his eyes shut, the storm of pebbles against his chest as a shotgun shot tore into his cover going ignored as he felt his mind sway, struggling with the information of the beacons, made all the _heavier_ by Sovereigns words...

_Do__ it_!

A small growl...and he spun round, levelled his rifle...and the Krogan before him fell with a grunt, its innards spilling into the ankle-deep water.

The Krogan breeding chamber was dank and covered in water that had been filthy even _before_ it had been stained by Krogan blood and guts...it was a disgusting place, the walls on each side covered with massive steel cylinders, several which had opened to reveal Krogan warriors in full arms and armour, born out of steel, ready to kill.

And at the far end...the generator, a large orb of silver plates that at the bottom sported the controls Michael _had_ to reach.

One couldn't fault Saren's choice of where to put it though, while filthy, the breeding chamber held a great number of warriors, who while barely born...still proved formidable in such numbers.

Ahead Wrex roared, the Krogan tackled out of cover by a charging clone, only for him to smash his hands into its head and send his opponent down into the mud. But more came, three more charging at Wrex, shotguns blasting even as they bowed their heads in that great Krogan charge...

Michael fired, and one fell with a gasp, its knee shattering.

And Wrex moved to meet their charge, knees bending at the last instant and then pushing upwards as the charges met...and bashed the other two over with his larger weight and skill, his shotgun quickly finishing them off.

But there were more, there were _always_ more...and Michael was _painfully_ aware of their lack of time.

He looked over to Liara, the Asari clutching the cover offered by one of the supporting pillars to his left...and had an idea. "Liara! The pillars!" She looked at him, incredulous...and Michael gestured up where there was clear sky just in the middle of the ceiling, the rest held up by the two rows of steel pillars, ceiling that eventually reached the breeding cylinders. "Destroy them!"

Liara stared at him, mouth opening in shock.

"Do it!"

A shake of her head...and the Asari was suddenly aglow with energy, the glow _twice_ the size of the woman as she raised both hands over her head...

It was _pulsing_, two orbs of dark purple _power_ held in her hands...

And then they arched out, up, forth...crashing into the nearest pillars on each side, _through_ them, into the next, the one after that, and the one after _that_...

Steel bent, groaned, gave in...

There was a loud crack...and then the supports gave in, pillar after pillar snapping like dry twigs.

The entire team leapt into the centre of the room...and crouched low as the ceiling above bent, cracked...and folded inwards as the only thing keeping it up was the outer walls...

A crash...and the metal cylinders lining the walls to each side were crushed by the swinging and crashing ceilings.

Then Michael was moving, ignoring the coughing of Wrex and Liara, knowing they'd be fine as he himself jogged through the cloud of dust made by the collapsing roof and through the now cleared chamber...

The console appeared through he smoke, screen flickering on as he approached. _Password_-_protected_.

_Good that I had a lesson with Tali then_...he nearly smirked at the memory...and activated his omni-tool, digits playing over it a moment later.

Of course he hadn't learnt all _that_ much...but the password was simply there to stop new-born Krogan from fiddling with the thing...and easy, even for him, to breach.

A moment later he reached up to his helmet, switching frequency: "Normandy, this is Shadow, the towers are offline, you may start your descent." Another switch even as he heard the others move up behind him. "Aegohr, this is Shadow, we are coming, what's your status?"

A crackle of static, then Ashley's voice: "This is Williams, the Captain's treating an injury, we're down three men, several injuries, but fuck, we're _holding_ them!" A small chuckle, then a more sombre tone. "We really need help..._now_..."

_Hurry_.

"We're on our way, retreat and regroup." Michael whirled round, gaze momentarily flicking up to the sight of the Normandy as it came sweeping in with Kaidan and its payload.

As planned it would land in a large open space that had – before Shadow had cleared it – been a refuelling site for combat drones, or so the numerous tanks of gas had implied. All Michael cared for was that it was large enough to let the Normandy land however, right at the centre of the base with its deadly payload...

_Running out of time_...

He switched off the com as with a wave of his hand he ordered the others to follow, his voice low: "We're on our way..."

8

8

8

Ahead the rampart was full of Geth snipers, or rather, the _remains_ of them after Michael's team had gotten the drop on them.

They were unimportant however, their snipping couldn't have overly bothered the distant STG that were nothing but distant dots outside the base as they battled a virtual _flood_ of Geth and Krogan that _streamed_ towards them.

It didn't look good.

_We can make it_.

Michael begun to run...only to come to a sharp halt as the com crackled into life: "This is Alenko! I have Geth dropping in on my position! Large numbers of Geth!"

_The bomb, it __must__ be secured_.

A moment of hesitation...then Michael nodded to himself: "Light, move to reinforce Alenko, secure the payload."

Garrus' voice held a grin in it: "Acknowledged, we're on it."

_Good_.

Michael took a step forward.

Only for Kaidan to call out again: "Negative on that! Don't come here! I'm activating the nuke!" _What_! "Saren's here! I repeat, Saren's here!"

_Primary_ _objective_..._but_...

Michael went still, an odd..._sharp_...pain boring into his skull.

Kaidan was coughing, gunfire loud in the background "I'll hold them! You go and-"

"Negative on _that_!" Garrus snorted. "We're coming!"

_No_..._wrong_..._we_ _can't_...

Michael felt all colour drain from his face as the calculations in his brain was overturned, the sum no longer adding up, the price _racing_ upwards...paralysing him.

_No_...

"No! Don't he's too-" A scream of agony, and Kaidan's call was cut short.

"This is Light, we're moving Commander." Garrus growled, his breath heavy in Michael's ear as the Turian ran. "Any orders?"

_Ashley_..._Kirrahe_..._regrouping_..._the_ _plan_..._need_ _more_ _men_...

He flinched, half-turning, hands finding the banister of the rampart, gripping it tightly as he swayed, the calculations were _clear_...and he _couldn't_ accept it.

_But_ _primary_ _objective_..._Kaidan_..._Garrus_..._Tali_..._no_...

_He's too powerful_...

_But we promised Kirrahe_..._duty_..._the_ _lives_ _of_ _soldiers_..._my_ _responsibility_...

Garrus' voice was a distant call: "Commander?"

_Saren_..._engaging_ _him_ _can_ _endanger_ _mission_..._but_..._if_ _he_ _gets_ _a_ _hold_ _of_ _the_ _bomb_...

_But_..._Ashley_..._those_ _trusting_ _me_...

"Commander?"

"GAH!" Michael's right hand flew up in a fist...and then crashed down into the railing, crashing right through the steel.

Then Liara's hand on his shoulder. "Commander..."

_I_..._command_.

Michael screwed his eyes shut, unclenching his fist as he struggled for breath._ Where's the objective_? _Where's_ _the_..._calm_? _The_ _mission_? _The focus_?

Nothing answered him.

_I_..._still_ _command_..._and_ _the_ _proper course of action_ _says_...

_God_...

A gasp for air, Michael not realising he had been holding it...and he straightened. "Shadow here, Light, move to assist Alenko, but do so with caution, Shadow will reinforce and flank, primary objective is securing the bomb, secondary Saren."

"Acknowledged, Commander." Garrus clicked the com shut, a hint of relief in his voice.

Then Ashley's voice, soft: "I guess that means-"

"_No_." Michael snapped, shaking his head violently. "Assume a defensive position and _hold the line_, we will finish this swiftly and _then_ come for you."

A small snort, the voice still soft: "Michael..."

"_No_! You _will_ do this!" Michael growled the words, feeling out of breath. "Hold on and I _will_ come for you!"

"Michael..."

His right hand shot up, catching him against the railing as he shook his head, fiery pain shooting through his spine.

_No_.

He pushed it aside, face twisting into one of rage, voice a low growl: "You will _hold_...is that _clear_?"

"I..." Ashley sighed. "...yes...Michael."

He straightened, purpose burning through him, a _need_...a need to _hurry_. "And then I'll come for you."

Another sigh...and then a small chuckle: "Well...if anyone could pull that off it's you..."

And Michael started running.

_I __will__ make it_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for pushing through this one._


	52. Chapter 52

The ground was shaking even as the door before her slid open.

Moving forth in a running crouch Tali gripped her shotgun tightly as her head craned left and right to make sense of the scene before her.

She and Garrus had just entered a large room in the middle of one of the long sides, long sides that were at least a hundred feet in length, the width of the room perhaps forty feet, it was hard to tell with the large tanks lining the long sides of the room, yellow-painted tanks _covered_ in warning labels. Opposite their entrance a door stood open, Geth pouring in even as they turned their weapons to bear on the Turian and the Quarian.

The room had no ceiling, nor any wall to the right, which was why Michael had ordered the Normandy to touch down there in the first place Tali remembered. It was also slanted, the floor divided into four long steps running upwards to the right. In the centre of the ledge to the far right there was another, smaller but higher step, almost looking like a wide sort of pedestal, on the floor before it the bomb lay, a sizeable round orb of steel covered in spikes.

And _atop_ the pedestal...

Tali found her breath hitch.

Kaidan's feet weren't touching the ground, the man held up against the sunset by Saren's claws. The Turian's left hand was closing around Kaidan's windpipe, his right buried in the man's abdomen, red blood trickling down the broken armour even as the soldier with a gasp gripped at the wrist holding his throat.

"I'll cover you!" Garrus called out, the Turian's sniper rifle knocking one of the Geth over even as the others opened fire.

Tali was barely aware of it, her feet moving, swiftly carrying her towards Saren even as pulse shots struck the ground around her or whizzed over her head, the Geth too worried about hitting the many tanks to fire too intensely.

Her gaze was _fixed_ on Saren, shotgun humming as she charged it up for a blast, teeth bared in a growl, hatred coursing through her veins.

_You have hunted me for too long, you have tried to kill us for too long, you want to sacrifice the galaxy_..._I_ _will_ _not_ _allow_ _it_!

"Alenko." The Turian snorted, looking up at the man struggling in his grip. "Impressive résumé...for a human."

_Just a little closer_...

She moved forth...and found her eyes widen as Saren's head snapped round, the dark blue orbs within his skull _glowing_ with hatred, _fixed_ on hers...she nearly stumbled, finding her fiery anger turn to watery _fear_...

_No_. She found a growl escape her, her feet finding new purchase as she ran. _I will not hesitate, you're going to_-

Horror.

It squeezed her heart tightly as Saren suddenly moved.

One moment he had been holding Kaidan...

The next the soldier lay bleeding on the pedestal while Saren stood right in front of her, seemingly having covered a dozen feet in less then a second...as his right hand closed around the barrel of her shotgun.

A gasp...and she found him twisting the weapon downwards and to her left, making her take a stumbling step forward...before his left hand closed around her right forearm.

_Keelah no_!

"And you're the filthy little nomad that started all this..." Saren's voice was low, a _poison_...and Tali cried out as she was forced onto one knee as her arm was pulled behind her back, her shotgun falling from paralysed hands...

_Pain_!

A crack of something snapping...and Tali found her breath fail as her arm was wrenched ever upwards, driving her onto both knees, body doubling over...

Her head, forced to move with the unnatural twist of straining muscles...turned in time for her to, through tear-covered eyes, see how Garrus stumbled and fell, his armour smoking with dozens of holes as the Geth troops poured shots into him. _No_! _Garrus_...

_Agony_!

She tried to scream, but no sound left her as an armoured foot smashed into her chest.

Then she was flying, body limp as she was hurled through the air with the force of Saren's kick. _I don't understand, what_-

A crack, and her vision flashed white.

A thump...and it flashed white again.

Everything swirled for a moment...then she found a moan escape her as the pain returned _tenfold_. She had been kicked right into one of the tanks, her back now against it, almost as if she was only sitting down to rest...

She couldn't move.

Her head swam, her body _hurt_...only to suddenly feel extremely light and distant...

_Not_..._good_...

The VI in her computer was muttering something, forcing her to focus: "Repeat, warning, injuries sustained. Dislocated...right arm. Hairline fracture...both shoulder blades. Broken...rib. Ligaments torn...neck. Severe concussion. Seek medical aid...immediately."

_Aid_..._would_..._be_ _nice_... Tali agreed, unable to nod, her ears buzzing as she – feeling oddly disconnected from it all – watched Saren turn to march towards Kaidan, or rather, the bomb lying below the injured soldier. Her gaze moved to the glow of the omni-tool in Saren's hand as he moved...it was _hypnotic_...

_So_..._pretty_...

Then there was light, a bright, _burning_ light.

A small gasp escaped her, her gaze torn from Saren to look at the new source of light as the man too stopped to look...just in time to see the tanks to the far light explode into several fireballs, enveloping dozens of Geth as they cried out in warning.

The doorway from whence the Geth had come was now _covered_ with their broken remains, several more falling into charred pieces as the content of the smashed tanks spread over the floor down below, creating a sea of far-reaching flames.

But more lived, turning as one, cold eyes glowing as they raised their weapons...only for a black _blur_ to hurtle into them with a roar, assault rifle tearing a leg of one as he crashed into two others, then three more, pushing them _all_ into the fire, drawing the others along...and hurtling himself right in after them.

_What_ _is_ _he_...? _Michael_... Tali felt her heart flutter in fright, despite everything feeling distant, and could only stare as something within the flames flashed, followed by the cry of a dying Geth, then more flashes, pule rifles, an explosion...and another dying stutter.

A loud roar...and Tali saw Wrex come hurtling forward, his armoured feet tearing gouges in the floor as he sent his one _ton_ body rushing at Saren at full tilt.

"Ah, the Urdnot..." Saren hissed, turning to face the charge, hands hanging limp to his sides, calm even as the monster of a Krogan bore down on him. "...fallen from grace."

Two thundering steps away from him...and Saren suddenly rolled to the left, his clawed right foot shooting out towards the charging Krogan in a scything arch...

A howl...and Wrex tumbled forward, orange blood spurting from the inside of his right knee even as his armoured bulk crashed face first into the floor in an explosion of shattered stones.

Saren snorted: "And here I was worried about engaging you, I assume feeling forced to kill those cured from the genophage has _upset_ you?"

Tali managed to just barely turn her head to follow the sight of Wrex tumbling round until he came to a half between two tanks with a crunch. The Krogan groaned...spat...and begun to rise, voice a growl: "You will pay..."

"Perhaps..." Saren replied, calm...even as his body came aglow with biotics. "...but not today."

Lunging out the Turian sent a bolt of dark blue energy hurtling into the wall behind Wrex...which with a crack broke, boulders twice the size of the Krogan crashing down on him, crushing both him and the tanks under their weight. A low groan...and Wrex's head, still above the pile of stone, looked up. "When I get..." A cough. "...out..."

Saren's mandibles opened wide, fangs bared in a grin. "Who says you will-"

A thump of purple power striking his back...and the Turian stumbled a step forward, shields flaring even as his eyes momentarily widened...only to _narrow_ as he turned.

Liara looked..._small_, the Asari still aglow with the haze of power...but the hateful look on her face was now fading away, her charge petering out...as she with wide eyes looked up at Saren as the Turian calmly walked towards her...

"I'm surprised." Saren spoke so _calmly_...it was eerie. "I thought the daughter of Benezia, not to mention one trained by Shepard, would know the basics."

Liara took a step backwards, the pistol in her hand completely forgotten as she shook like a leaf, staring at the massive Turian as he marched towards her, a nightmare made flesh...

Then Saren's omni-tool glowed. "_First_ you take out the shield." Liara's shields flashed as it was overloaded. "_Then_ you hit them with the biotics." And then she was covered with a dark blue haze...before she with a shriek was hurled towards Saren.

He caught her throat with his right hand, drawing a gasp from the Asari as she was pulled close, her face a mere inch from Saren's as the Turian glowered at her. "You're not at all like your mother." A sniff, as if scenting her. "You're _weak_."

His left claw slashed forth...and Liara's head shot back as she cried out, hands clutching the wound across her abdomen...only for her cry to turn into a gurgle as Saren lifted her higher into the air, the grip on her throat tightening...

"I hope this lesson taught you something..." Saren hissed, body tensing as Liara's struggling became more desperate and weak, the Asari's eyes rolling back...

"Like _this_?"

A flash of Saren's shields...and the Turian dropped Liara – the Asari limply dropping to the floor – as he stumbled with the force of a biotic bolt striking his shoulder...

A snarl...and Saren spun round to face Kaidan, the man smiling where he lay on the pedestal, body still aglow with biotics and his omni-tool glowing amber over his arm even as blood seeped from his ruined abdomen...

Saren's eyes narrowed, a low growl escaping him...and he leapt forth, the Turian bounding over another orb of power Kaidan shot out before jumping atop the pedestal and reaching down...gripping Kaidan by the throat and wrenching him up once more. _This_ time there was no calm in the Turian's stance however, only rage, _freezing_, hateful _rage_.

His hiss was low and animalistic: "_Yesss_...like _that_." The hands of the Turian squeezed tighter even as they pulled the struggling Kaidan closer, eyes narrowed and mandibles clicking close against his mouth: "So a biotic _and_ using tech? But _hesitating_ when those you care for are in danger, a shame, you should have hit me with your full power when you had the chance..." His left hand moved upwards, gripping Kaidan firmly by the jaw and neck as the right let go. "...and now you'll never _have_ that chance."

"Go...to...hell..." Kaidan managed, the man's body shaking with the shock of his wound and the strain, flares of biotic power around his closed fists showing his efforts to try and fight.

A snort. "Eloquent." Saren's smile was an ugly snarl. "Say, how does a human speak...without lips?"

His right hand reached up...and Tali squeezed her eyes shut as a howl escaped Kaidan, the howl turning to a gurgle as blood began to pour into his mouth...

"Trying to destroy my base, ruin my plans." Saren snarled, the anger in his voice _forcing_ Tali's eyes open, forcing her to watch in horror at the sight... The sight of Kaidan's lips gone, crimson blood running down his chin and throat as with dazed eyes he stared at Saren as the Turian dropped the flesh cut from the human. "Do you have _any_ idea what you're _doing_? No, of course not, just another sightless _fool_..."

A gurgle escaped Kaidan, the man kicking back and forth as his head tossed left and right...trying to escape the agony of his flesh as much as the grip of the Turian.

"All the more reason for you _not_ to get involved!" Saren snarled, bloodied claw once more reaching up, fangs bared as he watched Kaidan go very still, wide eyes staring at the claws coming up... "We bear the scars of our mistakes human..." The Turian's grin widened, blood-lust burning in his glowing eyes. "...and you made a _severe_ one..."

Kaidan's stillness ceased, the marine howling through the blood in his mouth as the claws found his forehead and pushing inwards...and then cried out as they drew downwards.

"...a _very_..." Saren's claws flicked sideways...and then reached up again, tearing, _slicing_. "...severe one..."

Tali felt her stomach roll with sickness as she watched strip after strip of pale skin covered in blood fall away and drop onto the floor...

"You do not..." Another tear. "...resist..." Another. "...the inevitable.."And _another_.

Kaidan's struggles had ceased, the man's chest barely moving with his breathing, only that and his shudders of agony showing he was even alive as Saren's claws again and _again_ reached up, his eyes mad with rage, _revelling_ in the destruction as he piece by piece tore Kaidan's face apart.

The claw reached up...grabbing a hold of Kaidan's scalp, one claw digging in. "Is that..." A rip downwards...and Kaidan suddenly jerked with a howl of agony as his scalp was ripped off. "..._understood_!"

There was no answer, Kaidan's howl gone as soon as it had appeared, the man once more hanging limply as Saren with a cocked head and a smirk observed his handiwork.

Kaidan's head was..._skinned_.

Fleshy muscles and cartilage lay exposed, _covered_ in blood, blood running down his neck and armour before dripping down upon the strips of flayed skin below...

"Pathetic." Saren's hand reached back, claws covered in gore even as they begun to glow with biotic power. "Consider this a-"

"_SAREN_!"

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	53. Chapter 53

Saren's head turned, his eyes narrowing

Then his body turned as well, Kaidan dropping like a broken puppet from the Turian's grip as Saren's body begun to glow with dark biotic power...

His voice was but a hiss: "_Shepard_..."

Tali's gaze moved lazily down the room to the other end, seeing nothing but a sea of flames at first, then a single black shape moving through it...coming closer.

Her breath hitched.

Michael's bandoleer was gone, a wide crater in his armoured abdomen, scratch marks running down his right leg where something had clawed at him. In his right hand he held his shotgun, the barrel sheared off and sparks flying from what remained of it. In his left the broken remains of a Geth's head hung in one of its cables, its eye shattered.

And the flames...they seemed to be _parting_ before him..

Only when he came closer did she see the blue flare of his shields as they deflected the fire, casting a shimmering blue aura around him, the top which glowed a pale white, forming a halo.

His helmet had been ripped off and the shimmering mix of lights around him made his blond hair glow white as it moved with the air currents of the, making it look like white fire... The scar over his right eye too glowed white...but was _nothing_ compared to the icy glow of his blue eyes...

And Tali felt afraid.

Saren's voice was one of scorn however: "I see you've finally deigned to join us." A snort. "Late, always too-"

Michael's shotgun fell to the floor, the Geth head following suit as the man came running out of the fire, the assault rifle suddenly in his hands spitting death as he ran forward and to the right.

Saren's shields flared with the impacts as the Turian stood atop the pedestal, unheeding of the impacts...before with a snarl he reached out with his right hand, omni-tool aglow.

With a hiss Michael's assault rifle failed...only for the man to drop it, roll to the left...and start running that way, pistol firing shot after shot, only for them to hit Saren's shield inches from the Turian's unimpressed face.

This time Saren's right arm glowed with his omni-tool even as his left came aglow with biotic power...

His right hand shot out...and Michael's pistol hissed in failure.

His left hand followed...and a black ball of energy flew forth, smashing into the floor before Michael and making the man stumble back as the impact sent pieces of stone and dust flying up.

Silence.

The dust lazily drifting away...

Michael was in a low crouch, left leg in front of his right, both bent, hands curled into fists as he held them low next to his legs. His hair and scar was no longer glowing, but his _eyes_ were...icy coldness glaring up at Saren even as sizzling smoke rose from his armour...

Saren was still standing calm and tall atop the pedestal, eyes full of dark blue rage as he looked down at Michael, black fire of biotic power rising from his silvery armour and scales...

The distance between them, no more then a dozen feet, seemed immense.

Then Saren bared his fangs in a sneer. "How about a lesson in basic tactics?" He raised his right hand, palm aiming towards Michael as the omni-tool came aglow. "First you-"

A thud...and Saren's words died in a grunt more out of surprise then pain as he looked at the knife suddenly buried in his hand... The black blade was stuck _through_ Saren's hand, yet was _barely_ stained with the Turian's blue blood even as his omni-tool crackled and failed.

Tali's eyes lazily moved over to Michael, watching the man's outstretched right arm move down even as he himself straightened...eyes cold and hard as he watched Saren.

"Impressive." Saren's left hand came up, gripped the knife...and pulled it out without a moment's hesitation, the few drops of blood dropping from the wound going ignored as the Turian gripped the weapon with both hands, eyes narrowed as he looked down at it. "Crude, like your species...but impressive." He tightened his grip, arms flexing...and the blade snapped.

Silence.

Then Saren jumped off the pedestal, landing before the nuke with a deceptive calm as he with a body glowing with black biotic fire came down to Michael's level even as the human's hard gaze flicked to the side for the briefest of moments. Saren's chuckle was low and harsh: "Don't worry Shepard, after I've taken care of you and your bomb I'll finish them off..."

Michael's body tensed, leaning forward, about to leap...only to stop as his fists tightened further, neck cracking with tension.

Saren, who had stood waiting, smirked, then turned, moving to the right...and Michael echoed the movement, the two men circling one another, warily measuring each other up.

Saren was leaner then Michael around the waist yet still broader over the shoulders and an inch taller...his silvery body glowing with black power, his eyes afire with a dark hatred.

Michael's black armour on the other hand was still smoking from the heat of the fire he'd walked through. His face streaked with sweat and soot...and eyes glowing through it..._his_ hatred hardened to a core of ice.

Michael's voice was low, calm: "I've killed your prisoners, your scientist too. You will find no escape from Sovereigns indoctrination..."

_He_ couldn't see it, but _Tali_ could...a hint of _hesitation_ in Saren's movements...but he simply snorted: "They were expendable, I have studied indoctrination, what it _does_ to you. Sovereign needs me and my mind _intact_...and _that_ will be my salvation."

"Yet you wouldn't study if it you didn't _fear_ it..." Michael retorted.

Saren's mouth moved to answer...only to twist into a snarl as Michael came forth, legs moving faster then Tali had _ever_ seen the man move as he crossed the distance, his right leg delivering a sweeping kick towards Saren's head.

Saren ducked, his right leg sweeping like a scythe...and Michael leapt over the attack, landed on his right foot even as his left came down towards the Turian's face...only to hit two crossed gauntlets.

Saren rose, pushing upwards...and Michael pressed his weight down...only to find Saren _still_ rising...

Michael pushed down with his foot against the gauntlets, using Saren's movement and his own to propel himself upwards and back, flying, flipping...and then landing in a crouch a couple of feet away from the rising Turian.

Michael rose as well...icy blue eyes meeting dark blue...and once more the two moved to circle one another.

And Tali could only _stare_, her screams trapped in a body unable to move or even _speak_...

"Your idealism has blinded you Shepard..." Saren growled, the Turian's claws sliding against one another. "...why do you _continue_ to ignore the _inevitable_? You _know_ that the Reapers will come, you _know_ their power...and that there is _no_ escape."

Michael flinched, body tensing...and Saren leapt forward his right fist being parried upwards by Michael's arms before his left hands claws gouged a silvery tear across Michael's chest, forcing the human backwards.

"You have _seen_ it!" Saren hissed, spinning low as Michael moved forward...only to stumble backwards as Saren's foot caught him in the stomach. "We _cannot_ win! We _must_ ally ourselves with them! Try to _save_ a _few_ lives so that life _itself_ can go on!" Saren leapt up, both hands coming down like sweeping scythes...

Michael gasped, the man driven to his left knee as his right gauntlet rose in time to parry the claws, claws digging in _deep_...dark blood seeping from the holes.

And Saren towered over him, the Turian leaning forward, pushing his weight down on the human as he hissed: "It's the _only_ way...you _know_ this...they're _unstoppable_."

A growl...and Michael's left hand gripped his raised gauntlet as he pushed back up, suddenly forcing the Turian backwards as the human forced his way forward. "_Unacceptable_!"

"It's the _truth_!" Saren snarled, pushing back, stopping Michael's advance before tearing his claws free, right claw sweeping back and then forward against Michael's head.

Who ducked below it, his own fist thumping into Saren's stomach, followed by a left fist to the chest, forcing the Turian backwards. "Then why _you_!" Michael rose, chest heaving with his breathing as he looked over at the Turian.

Who with a gasp straightened, hatred glowing back.

Michael's hand gesture backwards towards the dying fire where the remains of the Geth lay in charred pieces: "Why the _Geth_!" He shook his head, eyes afire. "If the Reapers are so powerful then why do they need _allies_!"

And Saren hesitated, eyes widening.

A shuddering breath...and some of the ice in Michael's eyes melted as he met the Turian's gaze: "We can still stop this..."

Silence.

Hesitation.

Then Saren's face splitting into a roar, the Turian launching himself forward: "You twist my words!" His slashing claws met gauntlets as like a storm he came at Michael, driving the human back. "In the end Sovereign doesn't need our help! We _offered_ it to _survive_!" A clawed foot shot up, catching Michael in the chest and sending him onto his back, the human rolled with the impact and flew to his feet in time to parry a second kick, the force of the impact lifting Michael off the ground and sending him a couple of feet backwards.

Saren hissed at the human, his stance _feral_. "You know _nothing_ of what I've done for the galaxy! You have _no_ right to judge! I _know_ our weakness! I _know_ we cannot survive! I _know_ what we have to do!"

Michael steadied himself, head shaking as he struggled with the force of Saren's assault, but his voice was cold and calm: "Is that _you_ speaking...or _Sovereign_?"

Another roar...and Saren flew forward, the Turian's claws a mere blur as they tore into Michael, the massive Turian attacking the stumbling man in a frenzy. "You have _failed_!"

A gasp, Michael's stumbling back, blood flowing from his right shoulder.

"You failed back on _Earth_!" A spinning kick...and Michael's left arm was suddenly bleeding with a wound running from his shoulder to his wrist.

"You failed on _Elysium_!" Saren lunged forth...and Michael grunted as claws entered and exited his chest with a crack of breaking armour and the sound of tearing flesh.

"You failed on _Eden Prime_!"A slashing claw upwards...and Michael's head jumped back as a deep cut appeared on the right side of his jaw.'

"On _Feros_!" Saren's claws moved from left to right...and Michael cried out as the three claws dug in deep in the crater in his abdomen, blood flowing freely from the wound even as the man gripped at the Turian's wrists...

"You failed _here_!" Saren spun clockwise, tearing his claws out of the human before coming round with a solid backhand to Michael's face, knocking the man onto his knees.

"You have failed _everyone_ that you've ever _met_!" Saren's claws shot down, digging in deep into Michael's shoulders as the man moaned, his head rolling back in agony, the fight gone out of him.

Pulling him closer as the Turian leant down, fangs bared in a raging snarl, his voice turning to a _hiss_: "And for _that_...they will _all_..._die_."

Michael's head shot back, the ice in his eyes replaced by a raging _inferno_...as his hands shot up and gripped the Turian's wrists.

"_Never_."

A crunch and Saren's claws were forced out of Michael's body, the human leaping to his feet, hands pushing Saren's out wide...before slamming his head into the Turian's face.

Then he released Saren's right hand, his own right pulling the Turian's left arm past his left, his free hand coming to grip the Turian's shoulder as he drove his knee into Saren's gut.

A gasp...and Saren growled: "You think _that_ will-"

Michael pushed the Turian backwards...only to follow right after, silencing Saren with a straight punch to the jaw. Then another, and _another_...the man's fists becoming a blur as they shot back and forth, smashing into Saren's face like a jackhammer, the Turian's scoff turning to a coughing as he stumbled backwards, the human following.

A swinging right claw...and Michael ducked under it, his left smashing into Saren's gut, making the Turian double over...only to smash a right hook into the Turian's face. Saren growled, his left claw nearly catching the frenzied Michael in the chest, only to just miss as the man jumped back, chest heaving.

Silence.

Michael with his fists up, a statue in readiness.

Saren gasping, bent over, a snarl of defiance on his face.

And then Michael's voice, cold: "_You_ are the failure."

A hiss, Saren's eyes widening...before he with a growl lunged forth.

Michael moved as if in a dream...

His left leg swept backwards and spun his body counter-clockwise and to the right even as his right hand found Saren's face...and then his right leg kicked out, making the human spin with his own momentum as Saren ran past him...only to howl in anguish.

Both turned to face one another...only for Tali's eyes to widen as she saw what had happened. Saren's left mandible had been _torn_ from his face, blue blood trickling down his neck even as his eyes looked down to Michael's right hand holding it so tightly...

Michael's left moved down, gripping the mandible as well...arms flexing...

A crack...and the mandible was split in two, the smaller piece dropping to the floor as his right held onto the larger. A part now forming a jagged point...

_Keelah_...

Saren's eyes stared at the new weapon, then moved up to Michael's icy eyes...and narrowed in rage, his claws flicking as he moved back into a combat stance...

Then the bomb beeped.

Both warriors looked over at it, their concentration broken as they stared at the small console attached to the weapon.

Then Saren took a step backwards, right claw pointing at Michael as he hissed: "Next time Shepard, next time..."

Turning the Turian ran right for the ledge of the room...and leapt out of sight.

Michael wasted no time, the human too running for the ledge...only to slide to a stop before the bomb and the ruined Kaidan, hand shooting up to his ear, voice shaking in a panic he hadn't allowed himself until then: "This is Shepard! We require _immediate_ retrieval of wounded! Come down on my position! _NOW_!"

"Roger that, Commander!" Joker called out, the pilot hearing the need, Tali could almost _hear_ the throttle of the Normandy already...

"Kaidan!" Michael's gaze darted from the console to the lieutenant before he dropped onto his knees next to the man, hands darting to the wound in the man's abdomen even as he stared at his ruined face. "The bomb! There's only three minutes left! Ashley...we have to _stop_ it! How do I _stop_ it!" His hands moved to Kaidan's collar, gripping it tightly as he gave the man a shake: "_Tell_ me!"

A wet gurgle...and the Lieutenant stirred, voice a ruined whisper: "Can't...blocked..." A cough, the man's voice so different...barely understandable. "...fried the controls...couldn't let Saren...God..."

Michael's shoulders shook, his grip on Kaidan tightening even as his eyes widened with the realisation: "What do you _mean_ fried! We _have_ to-!"

Kaidan's right hand shot up, gripping Michael's shoulder, Kaidan's ruined mouth moving, filled with bitterness and anguish: "You were supposed...to get _Ashley_...why..." Michael paled, the man's lips trembling even as the Normandy appeared with a roar of engines, the ship hovering just past the open wall as its ramp came down onto the pedestal.

Tali however, could only see the two men, watching with horror as Kaidan, ruined face moving as his grip on Michael's shoulder tightened, spoke: "Y-you were supposed to get _her_...get _her_...why didn't...you...?"

"I..." Michael's mouth hung half-open, eyes dim and distant as he stared at the ruined face of the Lieutenant, unable to answer as his body shook with horror.

Then crew were running down the ramp, two jumping down next to Michael and with horrified faces gripping Kaidan's shoulders as they, with muttered prayers, hoisted him up onto the ramp to two others with a stretcher. Yet Kaidan's mouth continued to move, an accusatory whisper: "Why didn't...you were supposed to get...her..."

Michael only sat there on his knees, staring at the bloodied spot where Kaidan's head had lain...as his hands begun to shake.

_Keelah_ _no_...

"I'm fine..." Garrus coughed, the Turian's arms over the shoulders of two men as the pulled the man covered in his own blue blood towards the ramp. The others busy digging up a cursing Wrex out of the wreckage even as a crying Liara limped after them, hands clutching the wound across her abdomen from which purple blood continued to flow like water.

Then he was on his feet, a shoulder plate falling off him even as blood poured from his wounds, turning his broken armour crimson rather then black. His stance stiff and defiant as he leant down and picked up Kaidan's forgotten pistol, hand still on his ear as he changed frequency: "Williams, this is Shadow, we have three minutes, but I'm coming."

A crewman moved towards him, only for Michael to shake the offered hand off as he began to limp and stumble towards the door he'd come from.

Two pairs of hands gripped Tali's arms, helping her up, yet the assuring words of her helpers was nothing but a buzz as she watched Michael come to a stop as Ashley's voice came through a crackle of static: "It would take you ten minutes to even _get_ here, Michael..."

The pistol fell out of Michael's hand, his body going very still.

Tali, dragged backwards towards the Normandy, watched as Michael's shoulders began to shake, his voice no better: "I...t-the No-Normandy could..."

Ashley's voice was but a soft whisper: "No chief...no room here...no time either...we both know that." Hesitation, then a shaky whisper: "Don't...don't blame yourself now...it's okay..."

"_NO_!" Michael violently shook his head even as a hand moved up to his hair, gripping tightly at it as he swayed: "W-we co-could..."

"No...Michael, _please_..." Ashley's voice was tiny...but not out of fear or grief, just..._sympathy_. "...go."

Silence.

Then Michael slid to his knees...shoulders slumping...head dropping..._defeated_...and anguish gripped Tali's heart.

_No_...

Ashley's voice was soft, calm: "I'll _always_..." Silence, then a small smile in her voice: "...goodbye Mike."

"A-Ashley?" Michael whispered, hand in his ear shaking, trying to reopen communications...but the woman had shut them down. "_Ashley_!"

From the dark of the cargo hold Tali watched, unable to move, unable to _help_...as two crewmen rushed over to the man and gripped his shoulders, pulling the now limp man back to the ship.

He didn't resist, he _couldn't_ resist, _broken_. All he could do was _scream_, a loud, _anguished_ scream.

"_ASHLEY_!"

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for bearing through this one._


	54. Chapter 54

_Cursing_ _done_ _with_.

_Check_.

_Crying_ _done_ _with_.

_Check_.

_Favourite poem remembered_.

_Check_.

_Not_ _gotten_ _killed_ _by_ _a_ _stray_ _shot_.

_Check_.

Ashley ran, but this wasn't Eden Prime, she wasn't running in panic. Nor was it one of the airless rocks she'd been running over in another charge at Michael's side. She was running for cover...but felt utterly calm as shots whizzed past her to the point that her surroundings disappeared in the energized air.

She leapt, vaulting the low boulder ahead and ducked behind it even as a blast sent pieces of it flying as a shot struck it a second too late to hit the intended target.

She was panting, _sweating_, adrenaline still flowing...and she wouldn't have it any other way.

She grinned at her foolishness, after all, what did it matter how one died, shot or blown apart, in bed or running...as long as one did it proudly?

Still...it felt good to go the way she'd always wanted.

The assault rifle in her hands hissed with overheating and Ashley gently placed it in her lap as she rested the back of her head against her cover, content to rest as explosions racked their position.

_Prayer for my soul_..._check_..._no last rites from a priest but I doubt the big guy will mind in this case_.

She grinned, then laughed, there was a grim hint of madness in it, but she ignored it, for in the end...she felt quite _content_, at peace.

_Wonder if my sisters will be okay_? There was a pang of grief at the thought, but she shrugged it off, feeling sure about the answer. _They'll grieve, then join the Alliance anyway, to make me proud_..._and I will be_.

Tears prickled her eyes...and Ashley blinked them away, quietly chuckling at herself for still being afraid to show weakness with so little time of her life left.

_Huh, maybe dying like this will clear the Williams name_..._that would be a nice gift to my sisters_... A sardonic smirk stole its way to her lips at the thought. _If__ the battle here is declassified of course_..._heh_..._damn politicians always ruining my death_...

_Fuck_ _it_.

Jumping to her feet she spun, a cry escaping her mouth as her assault rifle swept from right to left, forcing the advance of the dozens of Geth to falter as they instead turned their guns upon her.

A duck...and her cover began to shake with impacts...impacts lessening, enough for Ashley to hear the machines stutter in quick communications. _Sensing the bomb blowing eh_? _Good_.

Then Kirrahe dropped down next to her, the Salarian panting like mad, his left arm a green mess of torn armour and shredded flesh. The Captain still held a pistol in his right hand though, his black eyes surprisingly clear and calm as he glanced over their cover. "I believe they have stopped firing...and are looking back..." A smile on the Salarian's lips that even as Ashley watched grew wide, nearly reaching his large eyes. "...he _did_...all I can ask, _damn_ fine work, wish I had met him earlier."

"You and me both." Ashley muttered, smiling at the Captain's shredded arm, feeling oddly proud about the way the Salarian didn't even seem to notice the injury. "But hell, I'd say we did good too, what was that manoeuvre you pulled on that one Krogan? Heh, never saw it coming."

"It _was_ a good one wasn't it?" Kirrahe grinned at her...and she grinned back, the two sharing an understanding...and Ashley suddenly wished she'd brought a drink to share.

_Well_..._at_ _least_ _now_ _I_ _can_ _screw_ _protocol_. Ashley's hands moved up, unclasping her helmet and pulling it off before simply dropping it into the water, hands moving up...and her hair came free. _Ahhh_..._much_ _better_.

When she looked back she found Kirrahe staring, making her blink. "What?"

There wasn't a hint of embarrassment, nor derision, in Kirrahe's voice: "You humans look so...strange."

Ashley laughed...feeling the ground under her shake with the detonation that would rend apart a large chunk of a _continent_...and shook her head in wonder: "This coming from the little green man..."

A small snort...and Kirrahe rose, the pistol dropping from his able hand as he offered it to her, a calm smile on his lips: "A fair point...shall we?"

Ashley looked at the offered hand, so alien, so strange...and so inviting. Letting her assault rifle drop into the water next to her helmet she reached up, gripping the offered hand as she got to her feet. "Yes, why not?"

They got up, turned...and _watched_.

Before them the Geth were turning, weapons lowered, mechanical eyes looking up at the large mushroom-cloud of grey and brown dust rising up. And ahead a massive wall of dust and fire grew, bellowing out like an unstoppable wave of destruction as it swallowed water and mountains alike, vaporizing _all_.

She felt it on her face, a prickling _pain_...and knew worse was to come...but it was okay.

Kirrahe's hand squeezed hers.

And she squeezed back.

8

8

8

Two empty seats.

Tali couldn't help but stare at them, as if able to _will_ the occupants back into them.

Of course neither would arrive. Kaidan was still in the medical bay, in too critical a condition to be moved... Tali shuddered at the memory, her recovered concussion making it feel as if what she'd seen had occurred in some horrific nightmare, but she had _seen_ him back there, she _knew_ it hadn't.

As to the other chair...Tali swallowed, feeling the loss of Ashley far too keenly. A mix of guilt, shame and horror swirling within her head as she tried to imagine it. Tough, _confident_ Ashley, an _invincible_ woman that had – despite the painful turn of their relationship – been a _good_ friend..._gone_.

It was difficult to grasp.

Yet not, it was, in the end, a wonder more chairs weren't empty...

Tali's own injuries were rapidly healing, direct injections of medi-gel to the damaged areas had done much to fix the – in comparison to the others – small injuries. The concussion was gone, though her rib still ached...and her right arm was in a sling, she _could_ move it...but Chakwas had told her not to until further notice.

With the empty chairs on her right Wrex was the one closest to her, the Krogan too looking well, though more due to his species ability to regenerate then due to his injuries being light. Back when they had pried the ruined armour off him...it had been a horrifying sight. But now he sat there, no worse for wear, chin leaning on neatly folded claws and elbows against his knees as he observed the two in the centre of the room.

Tali didn't want to look at the two though, didn't _dare_...instead her gaze moved over to Garrus, wincing at the sight.

The Turian was a mess. His armour was gone from the waist up, instead it looked like he was wearing a tight shirt over his chest and arms...even his _neck_, but it _wasn't_ a shirt, just bandages, thick, _many_, white...except for the few places where blue blood was beginning to show through. She had seen him without the bandages though...and the Turian's chest had literally been _riddled_ with holes from the many Geth firing at him...

He sat stiffly on his chair, _clearly_ in pain...but noticed her stare and shot her a comforting smile...and Tali let herself calm, more for his sake then her own.

Then two more empty chairs, belonging to...Tali couldn't help but to look, to move her gaze to the middle of the comm-room...

Liara was..._pale_.

At first glance her wound hadn't looked so severe to Tali, but Chakwas had, the _moment_ Kaidan had been somewhat stabilized, _rushed_ to the Asari's side, prying the then grey rather then blue Asari's hands away...and showed _organs_ pushing through the wound as the flood of blood slowed to a trickle. It had been _close_...every bit of Asari blood in storage had been used...but Liara had pulled through...though judging by Chakwas shaky breathing it had been a close call.

Even _now_ the Asari was more grey then blue...and though her eyes were black with the melding there was a very _present_ pain in her stance...the Asari swaying even as she dug within Michael's mind.

And Michael...

_Keelah_...

He wasn't actually in _that_ bad of a shape, at least not compared to Kaidan, Garrus or Liara...in a way it wasn't surprising, the injuries, despite the blood they'd drawn, had been surprisingly superficial...compared to those of the others that is. So in body he was..._well_...he could wear his shirt for one, and though there were many bulges of bandages underneath it they seemed...beneath his notice, too _insignificant_ to him now that he'd had fresh blood pumped into his body.

Though _why_ the injuries were so easily ignored was _painfully_ clear...

As Tali watched the melding ceased...and Michael's shoulders slumped. Not with exhaustion, weariness _or_ relief...they just..._slumped_. His eyes, now focusing back to the present...were dull, not the calm iciness of battle, nor that confident smile on the Normandy, just..._dull_.

Everything in the way he stood, his shoulders, his arms, the way he held his head...it was all..._empty_.

She could _still_ see the pain, something overbearing, _overpowering_...like a great shadow covering the man like a cloak. Yet it was but an _echo_ of what she for a fraction of a moment had seen in him when the doors to the Normandy's cargo bay had closed, whisking them away from Virmire and Ashley.

And now it was draped around him, and he didn't even seem to notice it, the grief going ignored by a mind that had retreated far enough for it to no longer think itself able to _feel_.

He exuded _defeat_.

And it was a horrifying sight.

"I...Commander...Michael..." Tali glanced at Liara...and noticed how the Asari had gone even paler as she shook where she stood, grief written in her being. "I...didn't realise you...I'm so sorry..." As usual between the two the words were only half a conversation...but Tali understood, Liara had seen _pain_ in the melding, more then ever before...

Tali grimaced. _What else is there to see_?

Before her Liara reached out...her being emanating a mix of horror and sympathy...and Michael didn't flinch away, the man too gone to even feel the hand on his cheek, too unwilling to _care_.

He just stared back at her...and she might as well have been a wall.

Silence.

"So...what did you see?" Garrus finally tried when it became clear Michael wouldn't say anything, the Turian's voice hoarse and thin.

"The beacon clarified much...information that I find interesting but..." Liara took a breath, biting her lower lip as the scientist in her was kept at bay. "...isn't much help for you. However, the Conduit _is_ on Ilos, which we can reach via the Mu Relay...but also somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?" Wrex echoed, one large eye narrowing in question.

Liara shrugged, looking confounded even as she swayed with blood-loss. "It's hard to understand, the Conduit...it's a _real_ conduit of sorts...it _is_ hope...in a Prothean's mind, but also defiance...these things are difficult to explain. It _is_ safe to say however that Saren intends to use the Conduit to somehow reach the Reapers."

"Then let's get him." Garrus shrugged, managing a struggling smile. "I mean where else does he have to go? Nowhere we _know_ of. And with the losses he's suffered I'm sure he has no _choice_ but to go there right away or lose his chance."

Silence.

Many eyes turning to Michael...

Who just looked down at the floor, empty eyes staring at it, not really seeing anything.

_Keelah_..._please_..._don't_.

For every moment the cloak of grief seemed to close tighter around the man, making him tense...even as he _refused_ to acknowledge it, refused to _feel_ it...

And Tali could see the cracks in him as if they were _physically_ there...a glass ready to shatter.

Finally Wrex rumbled, the Krogan a bit awkward, experienced, but also knowing he wasn't supposed to make the decision: "And even if he doesn't go there we can beat him to it, set an ambush or simply destroy this Conduit thing."

Silence.

Echoing, horrible, _silence_.

No orders, no direction, no fire or even _need_...

_Nothing_.

And they all felt lost without it.

Finally Garrus broke the silence, the Turian coughing curtly before nodding to himself: "Well it's clear then..." He glanced up at Michael, as if feeling guilty to tread on the man's command...and Tali couldn't blame him. "...we head for the Mu Relay and get to Ilos."

Silence.

It _hurt_.

Then Wrex managing a solemn nod. "Yeah, a fair plan."

_More_ silence.

It was _agony_.

Liara was inching away from Michael, the Asari looking away, her contorted face smoothing with an effort of will even as her body screamed with sympathy for the man she'd just melded with. Her voice but a whisper: "That seems logical yes..."

Tali didn't know what to say, feeling the others eyes upon her, what _could_ she say? She wasn't a commander, she had _never_ wanted command...and now even _speaking_ felt like intruding on Michael...

The silence dredged _on_...

Then a whisper: "No."

A shudder ran through the gathered team, all staring at Michael, bodies tensing, waiting to spring at his command.

As it should be.

_Yet_...Tali watched his face, the utter _blankness_ in it, the way his body tensed with grief he refused to feel...and felt her heart sink.

His voice was low, and only because none dared to move or even _breathe_ they heard it: "We will not go to Ilos..."

Silence.

Then Garrus, voice careful but confused: "Then...where?"

Silence.

Michael shrugged. "The Citadel."

They stared at him...and Tali felt her own horror be mirrored in the others as they saw the depth of what had happened as well.

Another tiny shrug: "The council needs their report, we go there..."

_You want to be judged_..._sentenced_..._discarded_...

Tali's heart...it was like something black and burning was tearing into it, sharp burning claws _shredding_ it...

_Keelah no_...

He was so _close_...so close to _shattering_...

Silence.

Then Garrus, the Turian hesitating as he raised a finger, awkwardly leaning forward as he muttered: "Erm...is that really-"

"DO AS I SAY!"

All jumped back in their seats, even _Wrex_, as Michael whirled to face them, stance low and eyes blazing even as his body shook with a tension he hadn't even _begun_ to unravel.

There was madness in those eyes...and none but Tali dared to look back into them..._horrified_.

For she saw what lay beneath...and felt only _pity_.

His gaze moved to her...and she felt her back stiffen as she forced herself to look back into his eyes, knowing that even a pitied beast could rip you apart...

Michael was tense as a bow...

And Tali forced herself to stay outwardly relaxed...

Then a slump...and Michael looked away, the moment of near-shattering easing back, if only for the moment...

He turned, walked, head hanging and hand waving dismissively: "Back to your posts..."

All sat fast to their chars, stunned, too afraid to move.

All but Tali, who darted after the man, too afraid to _stay_.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for managing to get through this one._


	55. Chapter 55

Fear.

It held Tali's heart in a solid grip as she, like a silent shadow, followed Michael out of the comm room.

Outside the galaxy map glowed a pale blue, ready to be used, around it the computers handling all manner of items on the ship glowed amber...even as the crew tending to it ignored their duties, all silently turning to look at their Commander, all straightening, sympathy and worry in their stances.

Michael didn't seem to notice it, a slight slouch of his back, as if he couldn't straighten properly any longer, the cloak of grief following him making him look...small.

Navigator Pressly's hand moved to salute...only to stop as Tali softly shook her head at him, not knowing what even such a small gesture could do to Michael.

He met her eyes...and offered a minuscule nod before looking away.

Michael moved for the stairs...and the guard there stood frozen to the spot, too afraid to even _breathe_ as the Commander brushed past him and moved down the stairs.

And Tali followed.

What else was there to do? She wanted nothing but to close the distance and give him a hug...but _knew_ it would shatter him. Nor could she leave him on his own, for then she couldn't be there if he _did_ shatter...

So she followed, a silent shadow, trembling in the presence of the man she _had_ to follow.

The next deck was no better. Crew that had been sitting down eating rose from their seats, an automatic response to their Commander being present...only to look at him with fear and worry in their stance. Silent, still as statues...and ignored by the man that usually walked around them joking when he wasn't reading.

He moved for the medical bay...and Tali's heart sunk like a stone when she realised what he was about to do.

_Don't_..._he's still hurt, wounded, in so many ways_..._talking to him now_..._while you're like you are_..._please don't_.

Michael didn't hear her mental plea, or perhaps he did, yet ignored it.

He walked through the door to the med-bay...and stopped as doctor Chakwas moved to meet them.

Neither Michael nor Tali looked at the doctor though, their eyes drawn to the bed at the far right corner of the med-bay.

The man lay perfectly still, his arms along his sides, face turned towards the ceiling, only the slightest of movements of his chest showing he was even alive. His head was covered in a dark red mask covered in bulges, only leaving two openings for his eyes and one for his mouth. Two blue hoses and a black cord were attached to the mask before running up to a machine attached to the wall...a machine giving off slow, steady beeps.

_Keelah_...

Yet Chakwas was now right in front of them, demanding attention...and both tore their eyes from the sight to look at her.

The doctor looked..._older_...her tiredness clear in her every move as she stood before Michael, eyes soft and voice low: "Commander, Alenko is still not asleep, if you want to sit with him it's perhaps for the best if you waited...he needs no more stress..."

Silence.

Then a small cough, Michael's voice strained and small: "His...status?"

And the doctor hesitated, head turning back to look at her patient. It would _not_ be good news... "He's sedated, as much as I dare make him given the trauma and the current treatment to his injuries...it's a precarious balance." She looked back to Michael, sighing. "I can restore a lot in this...he might even look _normal_, it's a bit of a roll of a dice I'm afraid. Given time and some plastic surgery he will look nearly the same as before his...injuries." Now a grimace stole its way to her face, body shuddering with a worry: "But I'm just a doctor, I cannot heal his _mind_, I...worry."

Silence.

Michael's eyes stayed focused on the doctor, asking a question he didn't dare voice...and Tali feared the answer.

Chakwas looked down at the floor, softly shaking her head: "He...since he stopped screaming in pain he hasn't said _anything_...he doesn't..._react_."

_No_...

Tali's hand shot up, an inch from landing on Michael's shaking shoulder...only to stop, her mind fighting every fibre of her body as she struggled not to shatter Michael by giving in to her own need.

"Leave us." Michael's voice was still but a tiny whisper, yet demanded obedience.

"I...yes Commander..." Chakwas sidestepped past the man, eyes downcast even as she muttered. "I'll...be right outside if there's need for me." _If Alenko crashes you mean_...

A hiss...and the door closed behind the doctor.

Michael took a step forward...and stopped, head turning to look at her, dull and..._tired_.

A soft nod towards the door, an order, spoken by a man too weary to voice it.

_I_..._can't_.

Feeling her breath hitch in fear of what she was about to do Tali leant back against the wall, crossed her arms over her chest...and softly shook her head.

Silence.

Then Michael turning, shrugging...and Tali breathed out a sigh of relief even as she pressed herself into the shadow of a corner, unwilling to intrude, yet unable to leave...as she watched.

Michael was slowly moving towards Alenko, steps slow and careful, as if he was walking on glass...upper body leaning away from the injured man, Michael not _really_ wanting to go there...yet unable to stop himself.

Unable to stop punishing himself.

Then he was there, next to the bed, looking down at Kaidan...whose open eyes didn't even cast him a glance, gaze fixed on the ceiling.

Silence.

A scrape of a chair against the floor...and Michael sat down, gaze never leaving Kaidan's unresponsive eyes.

Silence.

Then Michael's voice, a shaky croak: "I...hear you'll live...you will even regain you face...given time."

No response.

Not even a twitch.

"The...Saren's base was destroyed...we..." A pause, Michael's shoulders shaking. "...succeeded."

And Kaidan remained still, uncaring.

_Does he even hear Michael_? _Keelah_...

Michael took a struggling breath. "I...we're returning to the Citadel...I hope to get you further medical aid there..."

The silence was deafening.

And Michael leant forward, hands coming to rest upon the edge of Kaidan's bed. "_P_-_please_...I can't...bear to lose _another_..." A small whimper, the Commander's shoulders slumping as he bowed his head. "_Please_..."

And Kaidan...just lay there.

But now something was stirring, Tali could see it, a _trembling_...and she wasn't sure it was a good sign.

Michael shook his head, back moving with heavy breaths, voice a croak: "Kaidan, please...don't let this...she would never want you to-"

He stopped mid-sentence, looking up as Kaidan's head suddenly turned, hard brown eyes boring into his Commander's, Michael visibly shuddering as he looked back into the remorseless eyes.

And the silence stretched on.

Then a whisper, Kaidan's voice a ruined, hoarse whisper: "You never deserved it..."

And Michael went completely still.

"The devotion, the hero-worship..._none_ of it."

Silence.

Kaidan gasping for breath, as if the whisper had been a shout, voice bitter: "Her desire, whatever I _did_ she couldn't stop...even when you _ignored_ her...I was a distraction from you. But _you_...you _never_ did _anything_ for her..._despite_ her devotion..."

_No_..._don't_...

Tali swallowed, watching as Michael shuddered, only to go still again, waiting for the next blow, _wanting_ it.

"But she couldn't stop...her love..." A cough, bitter and full of grief, turning into a hiss. "...and you deserved _none_ of it...she gave you _everything_...and you deserved _nothing_!" His voice rose at the end, his body lurching upwards...only to collapse back into the bed with a struggling cough.

_Keelah_..._please_ _stop_...

Tali's hands moved up, clutching at the sides of her helmet, as if it could stop the words from reaching her...but couldn't bring herself to shut off the audio-reception, couldn't dare to fail Michael now.

Michael's hands moved to help...only to be pushed aside by a weak arm. "Don't _touch_ me! Don't you _dare_..."

Silence.

Then Kaidan's eyes narrowed under his mask, regarding Michael's stricken form as one would filth: "She died, devoted as always, to _you_..." Michael flinched, as if punched. "...she died because of _you_..._no_ other..._your_ fault."

Tali could see it, the _guilt_ in Kaidan's body, shaking, pained, angry, grieving, pent-up...needing an outlet. But she couldn't bring herself to speak, rendered speechless by the anguish in the two men before her.

Before her Michael's head moved with a nod, then dropped low, voice a tiny whisper: "_Yes_..."

_No_..._Keelah_ _no_..._don't_...

Kaidan snorted, a sneer in his shaking voice: "You failed her..."

Michael didn't move, save his shoulders as they shook: "_Yes_..."

Tears were suddenly prickling Kaidan's eyes, the man turning his head, looking back up at the ceiling as grief overcame him, his voice a choked gasp: "We have nothing more to discuss."

Silence.

Michael's shoulders shaking.

Then him turning to look up, hand shaking as it moved towards Kaidan's shoulder. "K-Kaidan..."

"_Commander_." Kaidan didn't look back, his voice _ice_. "Go to hell."

Michael's hand dropped, the man looking..._lost_.

He got up, turned, face streaked with tears, yet otherwise it was blank...devoid of emotions that made his entire body shake.

He didn't look back when he walked away.

And Kaidan didn't look after him.

Tali shot a final glance back at Kaidan, the man looked small and..._lonely_...and then forced herself to move after Michael.

She had a feeling worse was to come...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her great help._


	56. Chapter 56

Kaidan was no longer with them.

To Tali's right Liara stood. The Asari was still pale with blood-loss, the sombre look on her face accompanied with an utter stillness of her body as she stood rigid, her hands holding each other tightly in front of her lap.

To her left Wrex stood, then Garrus. Both were, despite their different biology, mirror images of one another, tense, teeth gritted, nearly bared...and arms hanging stiffly to their sides, expecting trouble yet unsure how to face it.

No Ashley, no Kaidan.

Tali had a hard time wrapping her head around it.

The moment the Normandy had docked with the Citadel the man had hobbled out of the medical bay, still in his mask...and completely ignoring the stares and questions from those aboard as he, guided by Chakwas...left.

Just..._left_.

Tali had managed to catch Chakwas before the group had left for the Council chamber, and apparently the man had requested and been permitted a change of post to some human dreadnought where he could receive further treatment and continue his service.

He had _chosen_ to _leave_ them...it was baffling.

Kaidan, proper, dutiful, Kaidan...had left in their moment of need.

Tali felt..._betrayed_.

She understood it, yes, all too well. There was too much pain, too much _bitterness_ for Kaidan to handle on the Normandy, around the others, around _Michael_...and his soul would need _far_ more healing then his body...

Yet...she _still_ felt betrayed, and knew the others echoed the feeling, feeling as if their comradeship had taken yet another blow.

And they hadn't even faced their challenge yet.

For facing the Council could be nothing _but_ a challenge.

Everything within the room spoke of the danger they were in, not physically, but politically...and their leader was not to be their shield today, Tali could see it.

While they stood just before the small bridge not quite reaching the podium where the councillors stood Michael was at the other end, at that little circular platform where he once had knelt as he was made a Spectre.

Now he wasn't kneeling however, now he was _standing_. Shoulders slumped, head downcast, arms limp to his sides, face empty as he stared down at the small garden between him and the Council.

He had even forgotten his helmet and shotgun, something he'd _never_ do, until now...

Between him and the team Anderson stood...but he might as well have been a mile away, his face barely concealing the anguish in his stance as he stared at Michael.

A Michael defeated before the battle had even begun.

For a battle it would be.

Besides them the Council chamber was nearly empty. The three councillors stood upon their podium, behind their consoles, the Turian to the left, followed by the Asari and the Salarian, as always. They were regal...and _dangerous_. They were professional politicians, faces unreadable. But Tali could see it...they were all tense, irritated...and the Turian..._angry_.

And around the large chamber, hidden just under the alcoves usually filled with reporters and helpers...silent human-shaped mechs stood, dozens of them, guns held low, but ready.

_To suppress anyone getting upset_..._and not since they're not alive_..._unable to listen in on whatever is said_.

_This is going to hurt_... Tali swallowed, staring at Michael's slumped features. _And he doesn't deserve it, but wants it_..._this is wrong_.

The councillors exchanged glances, the drawn out silence perturbing them, them having expected at least some form of greeting from their Spectre.

They received nothing, the man as still as a statue.

Finally the Asari coughed politely, voice _politer_: "We understand you lost a comrade recently Commander, our sympathies." _You don't mean that_.

No reaction.

"Yes, very sad." The Salarian agreed, nodding quickly. _Neither do you_... Tali's hands curled into fists. _We give our all_..._for_ _these_ _types_? Her gaze flicked to Michael...and the fists eased away as sadness calmed her. _No_, _for_ _him_...

The Turian merely nodded, arms crossing over his chest in impatience. _At least you're honest about your opinion_... Tali didn't know if she was supposed to cry or rage at it all.

Silence.

Then the Turian spoke: "Could we perhaps get this debriefing done with, on _record_." He nodded sharply at the glowing hologram of Avina nearly hidden in an alcove, the VI holding a holographic stylus and paper to simulate writing. "Perhaps we should start from Noveria, since Shepard was..._disinclined_ to grace us with his presence then." There was _acid_ in the Turian's voice..and Tali knew worse was to come.

Silence met the words, dead, _uncaring_, silence.

"We have of course read your report Shepard..." The Asari spoke, cutting the Turian off as she nodded at her console. "...and we're unsure about _why_ you killed Benezia. She was unarmed and you clearly took control of things...why not apprehend and question her further?"

"Yes, it's quite surprising." The Salarian nodded eagerly, frowning down at his console. "You spared Benezia's commando Shiala on Feros did you not? Why not spare Benezia? Surely she was a greater asset with _more_ information...this was your argument for sparing Shiala I might remind you."

Silence.

Dead, _horrifying_ silence.

Then Liara move, making Tali blink in shock as the Asari took a step forward, head held high, shoulders stiff, almost looking as decisive as _Michael_ usually was as she spoke: "Shiala was freed from her indoctrination, Benezia _wasn't_, she would not give us more information, she would slip back into her indoctrination. It was _right_ to kill her, a mercy...and the _safest_ choice."

An awkward silence, Liara's words, the words of the dead woman's daughter, heavy in the room.

Tali felt a prickle of pride for Liara. _For Michael_...

"Yes, 'indoctrination', we'll get to that later." The Turian snorted, hands coming up to form a quoting sign around the procedure.

Then the Asari, looking at Liara, judging her...then looking back to Michael: "Moving testament from your team-mate. Of course she mentioned _mercy_, which your report did _not_. Was that your reason? To show mercy upon your enemy, controlled by this supposed indoctrination?" She glanced back up at Liara. "Or an emotional need to help one of your team? Since she obviously is happy with your choice of slaying her own mother I can't help but wonder if you did this in a _professional_ way..."

Liara stiffened, eyes blazing for but a moment, a hint of a biotic hue in them...then stepped back, shaking with anger at the implication.

The Salarian spoke next, swift and sure: "Spectres do what they need to get the job _done_ Shepard, you forgot that with Benezia, she should have been immobilized and questioned."

And before the them all...Michael said nothing, didn't react, not in the _slightest_.

But he _could_ hear them, he did, he _wanted_ to hear _every_ word...and Tali squirmed where she stood, his pain agonizing.

"And then, on top of this, you _spare_ the _Rachni_!" The Turian snapped, fist coming down on his console with a crack of plates hitting plastic. "And a _Queen_ at that! Do you have _any_ idea what you've done! How long before the Rachni once more fall upon the galaxy to destroy us all! Precisely the thing Spectres are supposed to _stop_! _Any_ fool would realise you should have _destroyed_ it and _ended_ the threat that race posed, not _help_ it!"

Silence, Michael refusing to move, to defend himself. He just stood there...and let the words wash over him.

It was _horrible_.

This time Wrex moved, teeth bared in a snarl, clawed finger raised. "Oh, I see, so it's a _noble_ thing when the Council makes laws against genocide, laws they so nobly hold up for _all_ to follow, except when it's not _convenient_..." There was bitterness in the Krogan's voice...and Tali watched in surprise as Wrex defended the very action he had argued _against_ before. _For Michael's sake_... Tali managed a small smile at the Krogan. "The Rachni didn't win back then, what makes you think a diminished little colony will be able to _do_ to you? And that's if the Reapers don't kill us first"

"Ah yes, the 'reapers'." The Turian shook his head even as the claws once more shot up in that annoying gesture of sarcasm. _Stop_..._doing_ _that_! "Another thing we will take up in due course...mercenary."

The Asari quickly opened her mouth, stopping Wrex's retort as she with a soft voice spoke: "Avina, please make a note that this protest was made by a Krogan in Shepard's employ, Krogan who are sensitive to the issue of genocide, and therefore speaking on an emotional basis."

Wrex mouth slammed shut, eyes narrowing, anger in his stance as he took a disciplined step back.

The Salarian finished things off: "Whether we can handle a new Rachni attack or not is not the issue, the fact of the matter that any battle, no matter how small, will cost lives, lives of citadel citizens that Spectres are supposed to _protect_. That this was not observed by Shepard is viewed as troubling by the Council."

And Michael just stood there, _still_, not even flinching in pain, too deep in it to react on any one blow.

The silence drew on.

"Well..." The Asari cleared her throat, shrugging as she looked at Michael, then down at her console. "...onto Virmire then I suppose." She frowned as the report, with highlighted sections, scrolled before her on the console, shrugging, _shrugging_! "Saren escaped you again I see..."

"With one of your team lost in the process." The Turian added with an angry shake of his head, clearly unimpressed. "Not to mention the Salarian special task group you were supposed to help."

"Yes, leaving them on the planet as you detonated a WMD on it was _not_ the subtlest of actions Commander, not to mention..._disquieting_." The Salarian spoke, a hint of anger in the hand dropping on his console as he leant forward: "I believe the order was to assist the team and _investigate_, not to cause _havoc_."

"Detonating a tier three WMD on a habitable world is strictly forbidden by Citadel conventions Shepard." The Turian growled, claws clacking against the console in an angry rhythm. "A capital offence, we want an _explanation_."

"You have it right _there_!" Garrus exploded, voice heated as he pointed up at the consoles before the councillors. "The bomb was made by Captain Kirrahe, he wanted it detonated, he saw the necessity of it due to having discovered Saren having cured the genophage and breeding an army of Krogan there. It's all _there_!"

"Yes, we _have_ read it." The Asari smiled patronizing at Garrus...and the Turian practically gnashed his fangs as his pointing finger dropped.

"Yet Kirrahe is _not_ here to support these improbable claims." The Salarian acidly added. "And any other evidence of such an unlikely occurrence is now nothing but a _crater_, it seems Shepard is good at destroying his evidence _before_ presenting it..."

Garrus hesitated, then took a step back, voice a low growl as he glared at the councillors, yet no surprise in it, just a...dejected _need_ to protest: "There wasn't any other choice..."

"Ah yes, in part because Sovereign was coming I believe?" The Turian councillor asked, shaking his head as he looked down at Michael: "The dreadnought now _not_ a Geth ship but apparently a _Reaper_...as revealed to you by a beacon that _unfortunately_ shattered after communicating with it. Really Shepard, Saren is playing you, _he_ could have made that hologram, your continued claim of this Reaper threat is just another thing worrying the Council, even more so since you actually seem to _believe_ it."

And Michael didn't react, didn't respond, just...took it.

Tali took a step forth...and all eyes were suddenly on her, making her pale as she realised she had done it simply out of a instinctual need to help, but with no idea how.

Hesitation...

_Damn it, don't leave him alone_! "What about the data I showed? That made you take away Saren's Spectre status? That was him at an _unguarded_ moment! Why would he speak of the Reapers then!"

The Asari smiled down at her...and Tali's face twisted into a grimace of disgust even _before_ the bitch opened her mouth to speak in that condescending tone: "_Clearly_ because the _Geth_ was listening...surely _you_ if _anyone_ understands that _no_ Geth would follow an organic, but an organic that acts as a prophet of their _saviour_? More believable."

_Bosh'tet_...

Tali was unsure who she hated more, the oh so wise Asari...or the jerk of a Turian."Then how did they make it? _I_ if _anyone_ should know the Geth _couldn't_ build something _that_ massive and advanced." The twist of the Asari's words made her flinch...and Tali smiled bitterly. They won't listen... "Indoctrination, Reapers, a ship too large and advanced for the Geth to make, Saren's confession...why won't you see this?"

"Because it's circumstantial at _best_." The Salarian replied with a snort. "Proof offered by a Spectre – whose file now when we have read through it extensively – that has a history of mental instability and a record that we now know to have been _polished_..." He shot a look at Anderson...who bristled under the scrutiny. "...isn't something the Council is going to act upon."

Silence, no retort from Michael, the man still a statue...

And Tali not knowing what to say, yet unwilling to step back with the others. _They_..._they've already made their decision_...

Finally Liara's hand appeared on her shoulder...and Tali stepped back, head lowered, breath shaking. _It can't end like this_..._it __can't_.

Anderson's voice was surprisingly steady as he spoke for Michael, unable to concede defeat: "You had _already_ read his file extensively before his inauguration, otherwise you would _never_ have made him a Spectre. _And_ you were informed of his initial slips, and his mental instability was a thing of the past."

Silence, the councillors glancing at one another, apparently taken by surprise by the words, the Salarian shooting the scribbling Avina a look.

"'_Was_' being the key word I believe." The Turian's hands shot up again, gaze focused on Michael even as the entire ground team took a step forth in anger. _Stop_..._doing_..._that_..._gesture_! The Turian looked over at the other councillors, nodding, fangs bared in satisfaction.

_You bosh'tets_...

The Salarian nodded as well, more calmly then his co-worker: "I do believe we've heard all we wanted to hear." A glance at the Asari...

Who took a step forth, regal, calm...and _dangerous_. "Commander Shepard, due to repeated signs of questionable judgement in the line of duty and a clear suffering of mental issues the Council regrets to inform you that you are suspended until further notice."

As one the rest of the team took a step forward, mouths opening to protest...only to go silent as their Commander _continued_ to just stand there...even as every mech in the room raised their weapons, silent, waiting...

_I_..._can't believe this_..._Michael_..._do__ something_...

The Asari's voice was calm, final: "An investigation will be launched regarding your fitness for your office. Until then you, your vessel and _all_ crew-members are prohibited from leaving the Citadel." A pause, the Asari regarding Michael, expecting _some_ reaction...but finding none. Sighing she pressed down on her console, drawing a beep from it. "This session is hereby closed."

As one Garrus, Tali, Liara and Wrex...slumped, all wind going out of them, defeat becoming a cloak around them.

_Michael_..._please_!

As if hearing her Michael stirred...and Tali looked up with wide eyes...only to squeeze them shut at the sight. Michael stance was one of a man _disappointed_...but _not_ upset with his punishment...

His voice was low, _accepting_: "You're too kind councillors...but as you wish."

Opening her eyes Tali found the man turning, walking...head cast low, accepting.

_Please_..._you_ _can't_ _accept_ _this_..._we_ _can't_..._I_ _can't_...

He brushed past her, not seeing any of the team, only his own misery.

And Tali's eyes suddenly narrowed, anger gripping her.

_I_ _won't_.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for not falling asleep reading this. ;-)_


	57. Chapter 57

Anderson was hurrying after Michael.

As was the rest of the squad, a tail following a man that didn't even seem aware of their presence.

And Tali was starting to get angry.

The Presidium was beautiful as ever, the sparse pedestrians around not paying the group any heed, too focused on their own dealings to notice or even care about what was happening, what might very well decide their fate.

It only made Tali all the angrier.

_They don't care, they're_..._they_ _don't_ _understand_!_ Kept in the dark by the damn Council_! _And what if we told them_? _Would_ _they_ _believe_ _us_? _No_! _Keelah_..._they'll only understand the danger they're in when the citadel fleet is being torn apart around them_...

Wrex was plodding forth next to her, the Krogan silent, frowning, and damn _silent_! Not saying anything! Not trying to _help_!

_Is the big bad Krogan scared?_ _Or just too stupid to know what to do_!

And to her right Garrus was _no_ better! The Turian walking stiffly, claws hitting the railing to the graceful bridge they were crossing in regular intervals, his jaw clenching tight with suppressed anger, _suppressed_!

_Let it out you big waste of plates_!

And Liara...the blue brain-melter seemed content to drift behind them like a ghost, apparently in some sort of shock, as if she could feel Michael's state in a way the others couldn't and couldn't handle it.

_Fat lot of good you're doing then_...

Tali found a growl escape her, making Wrex shoot her a surprised look, only to look away as she shot him an accusing glare.

Ahead Anderson was gesticulating, the man apparently the only _useful _one among them all as he tried to help Michael: "Please Michael, stop for a moment, talk to me."

There was no answer from Michael, the man moving with slouching steps, uncaring of the man trying to help him.

Tali glared at that large back, hands curling into fists as she followed. _And __you_! _You're supposed to lead __us_! _To_ _find_ _solutions_! _To_ _get_ _past_ _this_! _It's_ _what_ _you_ _do_! _What you've done for __months__! I can't even __imagine__ you __not__ doing i_t!_ But now you're grieving and suddenly you __can't_! _Dammit_ _Michael_! _You're_ _supposed_ _to_ _be_ _my-__our_ _Captain_! _Not_ _this_!

Tali _knew_ she was just working herself up, clutching at the anger, making it greater then the grief and worry...but embraced it none the less. _Wanting_ the anger, _needing_ it for what she had to do.

Anderson's voice was full of desperation, and tinged with the knowledge that his pleads were to deaf ears: "Listen, you're in that place again, I know, but please, you don't have to stay there for long like before, we can still _do_ something, this _isn't_ the end."

But Michael didn't care, the man beyond caring about any chances, about any missions, about any galaxy and about his damn _people_! His _crew_! Those _believing_ in him even when _he_ stopped!

Tali embraced the anger, hugged it close to her heart, felt it sear her veins like liquid fire.

After all the grief and tears and sorrow it felt..._good_.

"Michael _please_!" Anderson reached out, grabbed Michael's arm...only for the man to pull himself free as he continued to walk, aimlessly moving forward, _needing_ to walk, needing to move, to _flee_.

_Unacceptable_.

Tali pushed herself past Wrex's heavy shoulder, drawing a surprised grunt from the Krogan which went unanswered as she moved up next to Anderson and gritted her teeth as a bubble of nervousness forced its way into her gullet...

_Michael wouldn't allow himself to be nervous, he'd just do it_..._and damn it, I won't do less_!

Anderson tore his gaze away from Michael, anguish replaced by surprise as he looked at her.

She just shot him a glare, too angry to care he didn't deserve it as she moved past him.

Only to find Michael's steps increase, as if sensing her approach...

_Oh no you don't you bosh'tet_!

Tali increased the length of her steps, jogging past Michael, then whirling about, strides long as she moved backwards, her right hand shooting forth to push at his chest. "Michael! Stop!"

He didn't seem to see her, his eyes glazed and distant as he kept walking, pressing against her hand and forcing her backwards, as if her pushing hand was nothing but the wind, and her words nothing but unimportant noise. "Michael! Dammit!" Her fingers curled, gripping his armoured breastplate tightly even as she tried to shove him backwards, to _stop_ him, if only for a moment.

Anger, it rushed through her, a great surge, making her burn with a _need_ to let it out.

And before her Michael just kept walking, pushing her backwards, uncaring, unheeding, _lost_.

_That's __it_.

"Michael!" Tali's left hand flew forth, palm striking Michael across his right cheek, _hard_, forcing his head to the left with the force of the impact.

He stopped so suddenly that Tali would have fallen backwards if she hadn't held onto his armour, instead she simply stumbled to a halt as she watched the man blink, slowly, as if in a daze. His head turned, slowly, a red mark slowly appearing on his cheek from the impact of her palm even as he focused on her.

His eyes remained dull though, uninterested, _distant_.

And Tali felt her anger grow.

"Now listen to me you little..." She gripped his armour tightly, pulling herself closer as her left hand pointed an accusing finger into the face of the man, the face a head _above_ hers... _Forgot how big he is up close_... "...little..._bosh'tet_!" She shook her head, unable to truly give voice to what she felt. "What's _wrong_ with you! You just stood there and _took_ that crap the Council threw at you! And you _know_ they were _wrong_!"

Nothing, silence, dullness..._that_ was her answer.

It was _maddening_.

"But _no_! You think you _deserve_ it! And of course you think so you stupid _fool_! You think _everything_ you do is some damn repentance for what happened before! As if every mistake is some confirmation of a great flaw in you! So yes, you want to get punished, _fine_! _Get_ punished!"

A blink, the dull eyes looking down at her, as if he was dreaming.

"But don't let _us_ get punished _too_!" She shoved him, _hard_, feeling the anger crash within her like the waves of a stormy sea. "Saren wants to summon the _Reapers_! He's trying to get us _all_ killed! And _you_ are the only one, the _only_ one who can lead us against them!" She shoved him _again_, the man taking half a step back with the force of the push even as she glared up into those dull eyes. "_You_ are our _leader_! _You_ are the one that makes us able to _do_ what we've _done_! _You_ are the one who can lead us to _stop_ him! You _have_ to do this! We _need_ you!"

Another blink, the man slowly turning his head away from her...

_No, you don't get to escape this time_.

Her right hand shot up, grabbing Michael by the jaw, forcing him to look at her. "The galaxy will _burn_!" A third blink, a hint of activity behind his dull eyes, a _cringing_. "The Citadel has fourteen _million_ people! The galaxy _billions_! And they will _all_ die!"

She felt it, a slight shake underneath her hand, felt even through her glove as Michael relented, keeping his gaze meeting hers.

_She_ didn't relent though, not _daring_ to let go of her anger. "The Council is doing _nothing_!" She released Michael's jaw, only to grip his breastplate again, using it to pull him downwards, close to her visor as she _spat_ the words out: "The Alliance, the Turians, even us _Quarians_! _None_ but _you_ are moving to stop Saren! And if you don't continue he will _succeed_!"

Michael's mouth finally opened, but no words came, a _pain_ just beneath his eyes, as if worming its way forth.

She didn't let it soften her heart though, wouldn't _allow_ it as her left hand came round, once more smacking into his face even as she felt tears prickle her face. "_Dammit_ Michael! Ashley didn't die for _this_!" She gestured back at the others, but didn't dare take her eyes of Michael as the man visibly swayed with the mention of the woman. "Yes, she _died_! You can't _be_ perfect! Everything _can't_ go perfectly! But do you think she would _like_ you to just _stand_ here as Saren _continues_ his plan of a genocide upon the galaxy! She would damn well kick your ass!"

He flinched...and she held on, _forcing_ him to stay put.

"If you don't do anything she died for _nothing_! If you don't do anything you spit on _everything_ she fought for! If you don't do anything you will have _failed_ her!" He shirked away from the words...and Tali pressed on, heart aching with an equal amount of anger and care."You will have failed _us_! _All_ of us!"

Michael visibly trembled now, caught like in a vice between the feeling of failure and the punishment he wanted...and the horror of further failures.

And Tali shook him, violently. "I won't _let_ you drag yourself into this pit you've dug for yourself!And _especially_ not when the fate of a galaxy is at stake! So you will damn well lead us after Saren if I so have to drag you all the way to Ilos _myself_!" She shook him again, feeling her anger slowly turn to exhaustion. "So you will take us out of here, get Saren and _complete_ our _mission_!" For the _third_ time her left hand drew back, palm open... "Is that _understood_!" ...and swung.

Only to stop halfway there, wrist caught in the vice that was Michael's grip, drawing a small gasp from her.

She looked up her stopped hand, how her wrist disappeared in Michael's far larger hand...and felt her anger simmer down even as she with a swallow looked up at Michael's face...only to find it downcast, every feature of him..._still_.

A small sigh...and she saw his eyes dart left and right, thinking, reluctantly making calculations.

It wasn't the great reaction to her efforts she'd hoped for...but it would have to do, reluctant or not...he was _thinking_.

A small nod...and she forced herself to take a step back, to pull her hand free from his grip as he stood there, planing, coming with ideas, throwing some aside, finding a _way_...

Then his mouth moved, voice low as he with a weary tone spoke: "David...we will need your help."

"Yes?" Captain Anderson was next to them instantly, body tense with hope, not for the mission, but for _Michael_...he shot Tali a look of gratitude, the look a _father_ would send...and Tali found herself blushing as she looked away. "What do you need? Name it and I'll get it done."

"Well the first step involves ambassador Udina..." Michael slowly replied, looking sideways at Anderson even as the _tiniest_ of smiles appeared in the corner of his lip, as if he found the ambassador that so obviously had abandoned them to the council amusing. "...and your fist."

_Oh_...

Tali caught herself smiling, not so much at the pleasantness of the idea, but that Michael found some amusement in it, that there was _life_ left in him.

And _Anderson_...the man's voice was a low and warm growl: "I _like_ that plan..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for whooping to this one. ;-)_


	58. Chapter 58

The room was dark

The only source of light the pale glow of the computer in the corner, its wide screen filled with the image of an empty document, a resignation letter not written, that wouldn't _be_ written, for what was the point? Death or survival, in the end...his resignation would be out of his hands.

For when it came down to it...he was powerless.

Michael had never been all that comfortable with having the Captain's quarter. It wasn't _his_, it was _David's_...and Michael couldn't quite get over the fact that he didn't deserve the gift of such a ship, never mind the all too spacious room of Anderson's quarters.

In the end it wasn't even that useful. He had an electronic reader for information gathering, so he didn't need to sit by the computer, he could be more efficient doing something else while reading. As to the bed...yes he'd used it a few times since he'd stopped with the drugs, after all, he needed sleep to function well...but mostly he had used the sleeping pods the rest of the crew used. It was good for morale and was, in the end, more efficient, the bed was just some relic of ancient times, a waste of space.

Except now, now he could sit on it, in the darkness of Anderson's quarters, and _hide_.

It had been surprisingly easy to enact his plan, stealing the Normandy under the very noses of the Council and the entire Citadel fleet.

The crew and ground team were all loyal to _him_ after all, misguided as they were, and not one had called out a warning, instead they had all willingly moved to steal the ship, potentially ruining all their careers and lives.

They had done it for _him_...and he deserved none of it.

Still, it probably wouldn't have worked if the Council hadn't seen him so...destroyed. They had assumed he wouldn't put up any more of a fight, that he'd bow to their wishes...and such hadn't done more then a standard lock-down upon the Normandy, a lock-down easily overridden by the order of an Anderson using Udina's console and authority.

There had been a brief feeling of satisfaction as Michael saw them rush to the nearest relay, the Normandy entering it even as they got a hurried order from the Destiny's Ascension to return, too late to stop them, it was the feeling of a reached objective.

Yet that had been the end of it.

Tali's yelling had only gotten so much out of him. He had deserved every stinging word...and it had gotten him to do what was necessary... But now, with hours before they reached Ilos...he had time to think...and felt darkness pull him down once more. He had tried to read up on Ilos, to find some tactical or strategical data to use...but in the end there wasn't any, and...he couldn't bring himself to care.

He'd gotten them out of the Citadel, and he would do the rest...but he didn't...he didn't want to get through it. It was no longer a question of fulfilling a mission or to reach an objective, it was about forgiveness, his own...and the only way to even _begin_ earning it was death, a final martyrdom.

_For all my sins_..._I'm going to hell_.

Sitting on the bed, head downcast, Michael shuddered even as a shadow of a smile stole its way to his lips.

_Good_.

The smile died.

_It won't be enough though, it never will be_.

The darkness of the room crept closer...coldness seeping into his flesh, shadows crawling over his skin, claws tearing at his being...

He wanted to scream, but nothing came, nothing but a small gasp as he doubled over where he sat, hands close to his chest as something wet and cold trickled down his face...weakness.

_Death will be a relief_..._that_ _I_ _don't_ _deserve_.

Then there was light.

Flinching away from it Michael raised his hands to his face, as if trying to shield it from a blow. Yet he still looked up, turning his head to the right, towards the source of the light...

The light came from the doorway to the room...and she was but a thin shadow against the sharp light behind her.

Small, petite..._frail_.

Yet for the first time Michael understood how false that was, how _truly_ wrong that impression was.

Between the two of them..._she_ was the stronger.

_They should have made you the Spectre_...

Michael sighed...and drank in the sight of her, knowing he couldn't escape, that there was nowhere to go.

Her left hand was holding her limp right arm, her right foot slightly ahead of the other, making her look even smaller then she actually was. With her head slightly bowed a shadow had fallen over her visor, making her eyes shine all the brighter, silver orbs looking back at him.

She was..._beautiful_...

It was a painful sight.

"I..." She started, taking a furtive step forward...and the door closed behind her, once more swallowing the room in darkness. "...it feels as if Ashley should be here..."

_Divert_. The order was a weary whisper...but Michael obeyed none the less. "No..." he looked away, gathering strength, then looked back, forcing a tiny smile, voice hoarse: "...what can I do for you? How are you doing? I imagine that for a Quarian stealing a ship isn't-"

"Michael." Tali stopped his flow of word with a whisper, taking another step closer, hands dropping limp to her sides as her silver eyes looked down at him. "You _always_ come to us, talking about us, _caring_ for us. Now _I'm_ coming to _you_... Let me talk about _you_, let me..._care_." A sigh, emotions making her voice shake. "Just...this one time."

_No_...

Michael shook his head, a worm of panic deep within him wriggling against the darkness that seemed to have dulled his insides...but couldn't give voice to the fear, couldn't protest.

Tali moved forth, slipping over the floor as if in a dream...and sat down to his right, the bed barely moving with her slight weight.

Silence.

Michael looked away, down at the floor, feeling...tired.

Tali's warbling voice was soft and small, not so much cutting through the silence as it was a _part_ of it: "I...can...understand you're upset." She hesitated. "It's because you grieve for her _yes_...blame yourself _too_...but also because part of you won't _let_ yourself do this..."

_Wh_-_what_? Michael looked up in confusion even as he felt a a worm of..._something_ bite into his gut.

Tali's head was bowed, silver eyes looking at him from under the edge of her cowl. "Michael...don't you think I see through that act of yours?" A slow shake of her head. "Always overly friendly, overly caring on the ship, that _need_ to do so driving you." _Need_...Michael shuddered, feeling..._exposed_. "Yet, on the ground, on missions, so cold, so calculating...it's just a lie Michael, a lie you've told yourself."

_I_..._no_...

His chest hurt...and he looked away.

"It was the Blitz wasn't it?"

_Don't_..._I don't want to_...

"Did you think assuming those personalities would...help? Would make you better?" Tali's questions were so softly spoken...and bore into him like daggers. "To distance you from yourself...and become..." Tali's hand moved, and Michael followed it as she gestured at the walls around them. "...this hero they always speak of? Or was it just to become perfect? To _never_ fail again?"

_God_..._please_ _don't_.

He cringed away...eyes squeezing shut.

But he couldn't shut her voice out: "Yes, never to fail, to always be prepared, to be the perfect soldier...yet also to _not_ care during missions, to distance yourself..." A small sigh. "...to be some sort of machine..." _No, it was never._.._I_ _haven't_... "Michael...is it worth it? To shut yourself away from everything? To try and make yourself into nothing but a leader and a soldier? To be nothing _but_ the Commander?"

Michael's mouth opened...but no words escaped him, all breath gone, as if a giant fist was squeezing his chest tightly.

"Yet here we are..." Tali sighed. "You couldn't run away from who you are...yet _still_ you refuse to see it, to acknowledge it. I think that hurts you more then anything else..."

Agony.

It shot through Michael like a spike...and he doubled over as his hands found his face, clutching at it as small gasp escaped him: "A monster..."

Silence.

Then Tali's voice, as if from a great distance: "No Michael..." Gloved hands reached down, finding the sides of his head...and he couldn't resist as they pulled it up to make him face her.

Her eyes bore into his, the softness in them..._hurting_ him.

"...that you're a _good_ man."

_NO_!

Michael's head snapped out of her grip as he looked away, panic welling up within him, making him shake even as disgust rolled around in his gut, turning his voice into a hoarse croak: "I'm not...leave me be..._please_..."

_I_ _can't_..._it_ _hurts_...

"Why else working so hard to make everything perfect?" Tali whispered the question. "Why needing to care about everyone under your charge? Why grieve Ashley...if you're a monster?"

"_Failure_..." Michael looked down at his hands, finding them shaking. "...it's _unacceptable_...that's all there's to it...nothing else..."

"That's just a shell Michael..." Tali argued, calm, caring, _sympathetic_. _I don't deserve it_! _Leave me be_! Michael turned further away, breathing quick and shallow. "You _know_ you just made that persona out of fear...fear of _yourself_."

Silence.

"But Michael...you don't _have_ to fear yourself. Please...think...what you did during the Blitz was _horrible_...but what have you done since then?" Agony, it made his vision swim, his body to sway. _Leave me be_... "Michael...the Blitz _changed_ you..." _Please_... "Changed you to become a _good_ man."

"_No_!" He could only hiss the protest, hands shooting up to grip at his hair, the pain nothing against the agony within his heart. "I..._never_...!"

"Michael..."

He shook his head, _violently_, words exploding out of gritted teeth as old memories flickered before his vision, bloody after bloody image that had been burnt into his mind for what felt like an eternity: "Murder, arson, robbery, assault, rape, _torture_...all the _blood_..." A gasp escaped him, his eyes opening wide as he stared at his open hands, the dark shadows of the room making them look like claws to his blurry vision, the claws of a _beast_. "...for the _credits_, for the _kicks_...a mindless _monster_..."

Next to him he felt Tali tremble, and he didn't blame her.

His teeth were shattering against one another as he felt..._cold_. "And _then_...mass murder...but not mindless...oh no..._calculated_...vicious...planned...a _true_ monster."

Silence.

And Michael couldn't help it, he tore his gaze looking away from his cruel hands, looked up at Tali, his voice rising into a pained gasp as he looked into those silvery eyes: "He must _never_ appear again! He must _never_..." He shook his head, feeling..._drained_...shoulders slumping as he looked down at the small space between them. So little...yet between them there was a great gap, for she was a _good_ person.

Silence.

Then Tali's whisper, _still_ soft, still _caring_..._burning_ him: "Michael...he's a good man now."

_Can't_..._no_..._not_ _acceptable_...

"He _can't_ be." Michael looked back down at the floor, shaking as he gritted his teeth. "There's nothing..._nothing_ that can make him a good man, he is condemned...as it should be. Let that man die..."

Tali's voice shook with tears: "And let you continue to pretend you're a emotionless machine? A machine holding back a person that no longer exists? I...can't do that. The blitz didn't confirm you as the hero others think, nor as the monster you think...it _turned_ you into the hero you became..."

"I'm _no_ damn...!" Michael _couldn't_ say the word, it _sickened_ him...and his energy drained away at the mere thought of it.

It felt as if something within him was breaking, walls of stone and steel cracking, crumpling...as _something_ behind them again and again threw its weight at its prison.

He feared it.

"Michael...a monster wouldn't have saved the colonists on Feros."

His mind reeled, the words making his body sway where he sat. Yet he still managed to mutter: "It was tactical to..."

"No." Tali's whisper killed his protest, making his breath come out in a shuddering gasp: "They were no problem, you could have killed them, brought Wrex with you to the Thorian...it would have been safer." _No_... "But you took the risk, for you wanted to spare them...to _save_ them."

Michael shook his head, eyes screwing shut as he slammed his palms down on the bed, body stiffening in pain.

But Tali had _no_ mercy, her whisper tearing into Michael: "Same with Shiala, what _more_ could she do for you? You said it yourself when you were upset with the council...you wanted to give her a second chance. Michael...only a _good_ man would have said that, a man that _understood_ her regret and _guilt_."

A small gasp...Michael's hands gripping onto the edge of the bed, body shaking as that terrifying thing within again and again slammed into the walls within him.

"Benezia...the Council was right...a Spectre _would_ have taken her captive. But a _good_ man...he knows when to be merciful." _No_..._please_..._stop_... "And the Rachni queen...what strategic value is one queen to you in the future? You did it out of mercy..."

A sharp shake of his head, voice a pained gasp: "Kaidan..."

"An excuse..." Tali sighed softly, voice shaking. "...just an excuse to choose what you did when it didn't fit the shells you'd surrounded yourself with. It was _your_ choice Michael...not his."

"They...they're not..." He _couldn't_ protest, couldn't _say_ it, his every breath painful.

"They _are_ shells, Michael..." Tali's words drove into him, _hurting_ him. "Why else go down to set off the self-destruct on your own? Why not risk someone else? Because you couldn't bear the thought of letting someone else die in your stead, because you _care_ about the people in your charge. Not just as resources, not just as soldiers under your command...but as _people_. And it _wasn't_ something you made yourself do on the ship, it _wasn't_...you just..._do_."

He was doubling up, hands against his aching chest, mouth open wide as he gasped for air, eyes screwed shut as tears ran down his face.

As the monster within him smashed against his walls...he knew only fear.

"You..._cared_ for Ashley..." Tali's voice somehow became even softer. "...in your heart you _know_ this is why it hurts. It's not some failure...you _didn't_ fail her...it's simple grief...accept it."

"I...can't..." Michael shook his head, lips trembling as he tried to speak: "Not...like that...just...can't allow...to...care...like that...distraction...dangerous..."

He was painfully aware of Tali's feelings...and the way she tensed didn't help.

Silence.

"But you can't shut off your feelings..." Tali muttered, regret in her voice. "...you _did_ care..."

"She..had all...I _wanted_..." Michael shook his head. It..._hurt_. "...but _never_ that...never allowed it..._can't_...avoided her...for a reason...couldn't allow..."

His words died as he managed a glance at the tense Quarian, swallowing with terror at what he felt. _Didn't avoid you though_...

As if sensing his thought Tali tensed even further...and her voice was but a tiny squeak: "F-for...the sake of the mission?"

A pained nod, Michael feeling his heart stopping as that terrifying something within him begun to crash through the walls that now barely held it. "_Always_ for the mission...can't...let anyone fall because of me..."

"Michael..." Tali whispered gasp shook. "...such selflessness...only exists within a _good_ man."

The walls shook...and fell.

It _hurt_

"God..." Michael coughed out a sob, mouth hanging open in a pained grimace as his hands found his eyes, pressing his palms into them in a futile attempt to stop the tears.

It _hurt_!

Agony was shooting through his chest, making his body shake with sobs and pain as a searing flood flowed through his body, tearing apart his insides with white-hot agony.

Then there were thin arms around his shoulders, tugging, pulling... And he found himself slowly dropping to the right, his head finding a lap as softly touching hands moved through his hair, then up to his left shoulder, pulling him closer.

His own hands left his eyes, eyes screwed shut as he cried, instead they closed into fists, fists he held close to his chest as he drew up his knees to them...his body shaking with a flood he couldn't control.

All control was _gone_, all discipline _lost_, everything he'd spent _years_ building into what he though an impregnable fortress...swept away.

And he couldn't help but lose himself in it.

A hand was resting on his cheek, another on his shoulder...as he wept.

And wept.

And _wept_.

He wasn't sure when the shaking stopped, or when the tears ceased, it could have been only a few minutes for all his confused mind could fathom...but for some reason he believed it had gone on for a long time.

All he knew was that he was still lying there, his legs pulled, hands clutching his chest...and his head resting on a soft lap as an even softer hand rested on his cheek, another slowly stroking him between the shoulder-blades.

He blinked, staring into the darkness..._stunned_.

It _still_ hurt...but now he could _think_...he _lived_...

He felt...lighter.

A sniffle...and he swallowed. "I...I think I'm...okay now..."His arms hurt to move, his legs too, but he forced himself to stretch them out, to place his hands against the bed and push...to sit up. He couldn't, however, dare to look at Tali. "I...sorry about that...I..." He shook his head, not knowing what to say.

He felt so..._confused_.

And light.

It was dizzying.

"Don't be..." Tali whispered, a small sniffle escaping her as well. "...I'm just..." A shuddering breath. "...glad I could help."

"You..." Michael blinked, looking down at himself, still..._stunned_. "...did..." He felt a shadow of a smile on his lips.

Then he saw the hand, the gloved hand so gently reaching out towards his cheek...and flinched.

Tali's hand instantly shot back, and as Michael watched he found the Quarian holding it tight to her chest, as if burnt.

Regret.

As exhausted as he was...it still managed to burn him as he swallowed: "I...sorry...I didn't mean to..."

"No...no..." Tali shook her head, all too eagerly. "...I shouldn't have...I mean you're all..."

"Yes but..." Michael licked his lips, feeling awkward along with his exhaustion and regret. "...I didn't...you...I..."

"Yes..." Tali looked away, her hands moving down to the bed, pushing her up to her feet, voice shaking: "...I...I should get going...engines...I...sorry..."

"Don't, it's just...I..." Michael didn't know what to say, how _could_ he know? He barely recognised himself...he was dizzy, exhausted, feeling all..._confused_. "...I shouldn't have..."

"No..." Tali moved, feet awkwardly moving her towards the door as she gasped out the words: "...my fault...I shouldn't have...you know..."

Michael opened his mouth, wanting to stop her, wanting to..._something_.

But nothing came to him.

The door opened...and Tali was once more but a thin shadow in the doorway, this time moving away.

"Tali." The name escaped his lips...and the Quarian turned her head, silver eyes moving to meet his...as Michael somehow felt himself smile: "Thank you."

Her eyes narrowed, but not in anger, it was that of a smile: "Any time, Michael."

She moved...and the door closed behind her.

Michael closed his eyes...and fell backwards, exhaustion swiftly dragging him into the darkness of a dreamless sleep, yet one thought still managed to take form within his exhausted mind.

_Thank you_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	59. Chapter 59

_So_..._grand_...

Liara found her head craning left and right until it started to hurt as she with wide eyes stared at everything around them, trying to take it all in at once. Back when she had studied the Protheans, Ilos had only been mentioned here and there, almost as if it was some sort of secret, _taboo_...a holy place. And any archaeologist worth their salt _dreamt_ of nothing but such a find.

She had never _dared_ dreaming it to become a _reality_ though...

Yet here they were walking, down an ancient causeway, cobbled stones covered in moss, stones that the ancient Protheans had once walked upon...

Everywhere vegetation had grown, lichen, green vines and little tufts of grass...discolouring the pale stones and turning them yellow and brown. Yet there was a..._serenity_ to it, as if the complex of buildings was just in a deep sleep. It was _peaceful_, like a temple or a secluded lake.

_Or a tomb_...

She shuddered at the thought, she was used to digging through the remains of an ancient civilisation, yet nothing _ever_ so vast...and not to mention with a weapon in hand. It felt...sacrilegious.

_Once we're done with this I simply __must__ come here to_-

A thwack to the back of her head and Liara blinked in surprise, looking to the right she found Wrex glowering down on her with a shotgun resting on his shoulder: "Get your head in the game girl, I asked you where to next."

_Oh_ _yes_..._focus_ _is_ _required_. Liara looked away, not answering the Krogan as she looked over the buildings, giving them a pale smile as she reluctantly forced herself to focus. _Next_ _time_.

"I'm _waiting_..."

Ignoring the impatient growl Liara looked around. To the untrained eye there was just the causeway and a crossing ahead, nothing more...but _she_ could see the carvings in the walls, almost hidden under the lichen, and though most of it was just decorations there _was_ Prothean text there. It was part of the decorations...but could easily be seen by those with the right knowledge. Of course Liara didn't know their entire language, it had yet to be deciphered after all...but she knew enough to read a direction...

"Left." She shot Wrex a glance. "And remember, you'd be lost without me."

"Yeah, yeah..." Wrex rumbled with a small chuckle as he plodded forth, letting Liara act the rearguard as they slowly moved through the deserted complex.

Except that it _wasn't_ deserted.

Even in space it had been obvious a selected part of Ilos was literally _swarming_ with Geth, unfortunately they had arrived just in time to find Saren deploying from a Geth gunship – where Sovereign itself was Liara didn't even want to think about – and had entered some sort of underground tunnel...before sealing it.

So rather then risk a direct drop – and have those hundreds of Geth pour over them like startled ants while they tried to _talk_ the massive door into opening as Michael as put it – they had made a diverging drop near to where Liara had guessed the Prothean power plant to be.

So she and Wrex had been dropped stealthily among the near perfectly preserved buildings while the rest waited above, Mako at the ready.

Liara felt a jab of bitterness at that, confusing herself. Why would she _want_ to go with Michael into the unknown in the hunt for a Turian that had nearly killed her with a casual flick of his claw? Yet Liara knew the answer, or thought she at least understood _part_ of it, she wasn't _just_ a scientist now, she fought...and she wanted to fight with the one who led her, who...was part of her.

Yet she couldn't fault Michael for his choice, the Mako could only fit three people unless you stripped away the turret and ammunition...and in the end, who else was there to find and interact with Prothean machinery? And she couldn't well go alone, and Wrex had had the toughness and the experience to keep her covered, the Krogan a powerhouse of brutality that no Asari could match.

It was logical, sensible..._yet_ it still left Michael with Tali and Garrus. His comrade in arms and...Liara wasn't actually sure _what_ Tali was to the man any more.

_No, he didn't choose to make it so_._ Tali's an excellent support against the hordes of Geth and Garrus adds some extra bite to the group_...

It was a useless thought, Liara wanted to be there, and Wrex probably too, but they did what Michael ordered, which they _always_ would.

Still...Liara had been useful in the place of _Tali_...Liara found her hands wound tighter around her gun. It wasn't that she _disliked_ Tali, no, quite the opposite, the woman was friendlier then most on the ship. Nor was it some sort of rivalry over Michael...

_Michael_. She shook her head, following Wrex's plodding steps as he turned at the crossing, ancient stairs bringing them upwards. She wasn't sure _what_ she felt about the man any longer, before it had been something _scary_...he had been frightening and fascinating in equal measure. Then she had seen the pain...and felt nothing but sympathy, sharing his pain in a way most others couldn't _comprehend_.

She...had come to care for him. Not love, she was pretty sure of that, it would have felt more...primal then, or so she liked to believe, she wouldn't know after all... No, this was on a different level, something...almost _spiritual_, a deep _need_ for him...as if he was a part of her like an arm or a leg. She'd tried to picture him _gone_...and felt _panic_ rise in her chest at the though.

_Perhaps that's why I feel aggravated towards Tali_? Liara cocked her head at the thought, pondering it even as she felt herself become convinced of the grain of truth in it.

Liara had _seen_ Michael's memories, had _felt_ them...was connected to him via her mind. Yet she had _shied away_ from Michael's pain, had felt it and shirked from it, herself feeling an echo of it. But Tali...she had shown a remarkable ability to understand Michael, even _beyond_ Liara's...and had confronted it _all_..._changed_ it... Or perhaps it had never been a case of _changing_...but of _understanding_...which only made things _worse_ in Liara's mind.

_A_ _bruised_ _ego_..._how_ _droll_. Liara nearly snorted at the thought, yet smiled, remembering Michael when he had come out of his cabin.

He had been..._different_...yet the _same_. Smiling, joking, but calmer...less...eager...at ease. The crew had felt it too...and most of their tension had just eased away. Their most important operation, a galaxy at stake...and the crew had since Michael's reappearance been _calm_...

Whatever Tali had said or done..it had _worked_...and in the end...that was all Liara cared about.

I_ really must thank her for doing what I couldn't_-

He thoughts were interrupted by the thump of her face hitting Wrex's back, making her take a step back even as the Krogan without even noticing her misstep leant forward to peak around a corner.

They had ascended a set of ancient stairs leading up to a platform largely stretching out to their left, opposite them another set of stairs begun, those ones taking going down, no doubt back down to the main-street. Beyond the platform to their left a pyramid-shaped building rose up high, the moss covering it turning it into a dark green colour.

Between them – hiding behind a wide pillar that had a sister by the other set of stairs – and the pyramid there were a wide set of stairs that in the middle sported a somewhat thick statue that had been too worn down by time for them to tell what it is.

And atop the stairs...Liara ducked back behind Wrex's broad back, having seen enough. The Geth were there in force, more then a dozen Geth of various configuration behind the curved sheets of steel they used as barricades.

"Let me guess...there's the power-plant." Wrex rumbled, calm as ever as he lowered his shotgun, large red eyes checking it with the casualness of centuries of experience. "Good that they put a security force there, that way we can be sure it's where we want to go."

"Good...?" Liara echoed, staring at the Krogan. "That is quite a lot of Geth, and there's only two of us, the maths is...troubling."

Wrex just shrugged at her. "They're just advanced security mechs, I'm a Krogan warlord and you have the power of an Asari Matriarch in you, we can take them."

Liara felt compelled to bow her head in agreement even as she felt her cheeks flush. It was true she had a lot of biotic power...but it was not something she liked to flaunt, or even think about. "Very well, you're right, but we can't just attack them head on, we need a plan."

"No going around, no time for anything fancy." Wrex glowered at the floor, face contorting as he thought it over.

_I miss Michael_..._he'd have a plan already_. _And_ _I_..._I_ _am_ _no_ _tactician_.

It felt like an eternity before Wrex nodded to himself. "I'll get out there, head for cover and draw their fire, you...can you somehow knock all those Geth over? If only for a moment?"

Liara frowned and looked past Wrex and their cover at the Geth, the machines still as statues as they stood behind their barricades. It was a daunting task, there were _over_ a _dozen_ of them...spread out along the thirty meter wide set of stairs...and that was before one took their shields into consideration.

Liara shuddered, remembering Saren's words all too well. With their shields intact...most Geth wouldn't care the least about whatever she did to them, they'd be impervious to her power.

Her eyes narrowed._They__ are_...

A smile...and she moved back behind cover as she nodded to Wrex: "Yes, I do believe I can do it."

"Good." Wrex raised his shotgun, Liara mirroring the move with her pistol.

_The final push_...

They shared a smile...and the grips of their weapons met with a little click.

Then Wrex came out of cover, roaring as only a Krogan could as his shotgun sent a wide spray of fire up to the Geth, there was an answer of static as the Geth instantly moved to fire back, a storm of white pulse shots throwing flashes of light across the ancient cobblestones, impacts leaving sizzling holes in the floor where they struck.

Keeping close to the cover Liara risked a glance over the edge, watching as Wrex moved across the open space before the stairs, the defending Geth pouring a literal hail of fire around him, many shots striking his armour with smoking hisses. The Krogan grunted in pain...but kept going for the pillar at the base of the stairs, blasting shotgun tearing into the barricade of one of the Geth.

_My turn, this better work_..._it __should__ work_... Liara holstered her pistol, lips becoming a thin line. _It __will__ work_.

Her biotics flared up to her mental command...

It turned into a roaring fire within her, pulsing with its own heartbeat even as she stepped out of cover, arms stretched out to her sides, fingertips upwards as purple fire massed atop them as they fired off excess energy of what she was massing up for.

Ahead Wrex finally got into cover, his armour smoking from multiple impacts, orange blood staining it, but smiling even as his cover began to be chipped away by dozens of impacts as the Geth focused into a _storm_ upon it.

Liara barely saw it however, her vision swimming as the power of her biotic build-up made them flicker as the fire consumed them. Her skin was tingling, heating up...shivering...

She could _feel_ it...the steel, as if it was under her very _fingers_...fingers curling into _claws_...as the fire turned into icy coldness.

A beep of a warning...and the Geth turned their cold eyes to look down at her, over a dozen eyes glaring down at her, over a dozen guns turning towards her...and Liara bared her teeth in a defiant snarl.

_Embrace_..._this_!

As one the barricades atop the stairs _rose_...and _flew_ into the Geth behind them. Tons of steel lifting, and smashing into the machines thinking it a bulwark of defence.

The loud crash was swiftly followed by Wrex's thundering footsteps as the Krogan charged out of cover, this time silent as he rushed up the steps, shotgun blasting apart the first Geth struggling to its feet.

Liara rushed forth, her pistol suddenly in her hand, the gun jerking in her hand as she stitched a line up a second Geth, making it drop with a electronic wail even as two others were torn open by Wrex's close-ranged shot.

Another one tried to get up...only for Wrex to sever its spine with a stomping foot even as his clawed hand gripped another Geth's head, crushing it as his other squeezed of round into the neck of a third.

Jumping up the stairs Liara let the fire build for a brief moment...then sent a jolt of power into a knocked over barricade, sending it hurtling into a rising Geth and crushing it against the wall behind it.

A final boom of a shotgun...and it all went quiet.

"When I said 'knock them over'..." Wrex rumbled, making Liara turn and find the Krogan grinning at her. "...I didn't mean 'smash them to pieces'." He gestured at a few of the Geth that had never even tried to get up, their bodies mangled by the steel sheets still wedged inside them.

The blush was almost painful. "I...might have overdone it."

Wrex's grin turned into a smirk. "Not complaining...now let's go." He nodded towards the entrance the Geth had guarded...and they ran through it.

Inside there was little to find, Liara had expected no less.

There were most likely thousands of pieces of machinery below their feet, all parts of a massive plant...but the room they were in was almost _small_. Bereft of anything but a single console in the middle of the room that still had pieces of lichen stuck to the bottom it was still active, glowing a pale blue.

Wrex turned, shotgun levelled at the doorway to cover her...as Liara moved forth to the console, feeling strangely calm as she moved to do a difficult task with a timetable._ We have tested our limits again and again_..._I can do this_.

Her hands moved forth...and scrolls of texts appeared before her as the console sensed her inane command. _Prothean text, even sharing Michael's understanding it's_..._difficult to follow_. _Menu makes no sense unless_..._it's non-linear_...

"This is team one." Wrex rumbled behind her. "We're in position, Liara's working on it, begin your descent."

Liara smiled. _No_ _pressure_...

Michael's voice in her ear, calm and cheerful. "Roger that, this is team 'ram it down his throat'..coming in for a hot deployment."

"Good, how is the computer stuff going Liara?"

"I can't well activate all of the power, this is _old_ machinery Wrex, I'm trying to find a _specific_ door to open in a power-plant controlling the activity of machinery in an entire _city_...in a _foreign_ language I might add...let me work."

A snort. "As you say."

Shaking her head Liara's fingers moved across the controls, testing out ideas...and then figuring how the system worked...probing...enquiring..._finding_...

It was..._invigorating_. So _much_ information at her fingertips...all waiting to be _used_...and her holding off, just letting the slightest _nudge_ alter the history of the galaxy...

There was no beep, no specific glow...but Liara smiled, knowing the command had been entered correctly. Her hand moved to her helmet, activating the outgoing com: "Finished, the door's open."

Michael chuckled. "Of course it is, knew you could do it."

Liara smiled at the compliment, such an..._unforced_ thing...

"Now to see if I can get Saren's _other_ mandible!"

Wrex chuckled, gesturing for Liara to follow as they moved out, heading for their rendezvous point...even as Liara smile grew wider.

_I'm sure you will Michael_..._I'm sure you will_...

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for being so patient with me._


	60. Chapter 60

"Woooooo...!"

Tali felt her stomach roll into a knot as she gripped her seat tightly, head craning from her controls to stare at the sight before their windshield. Even though she _really_ didn't want to...

It had looked so easy in the computer-simulation Joker had shown, the pilot showing that _despite_ the small strip of open ground before the now opened tunnel he _could_ get them in...

_I hate Joker_!

It wasn't helped by Garrus and Michael both _enjoying_ the whole thing either!

Ahead the ground was rushing upwards and _growing_...and though Tali was used to that by now, she'd made many drops with the Mako after all...but this was just _crazy_!

Above the sky was replaced by _earth_...

"...hoooo!"

A crash, her body jerking in her harness...and the Mako bounced atop ancient cobbled stones, nearly hitting the ceiling, then bounced _again_ as it came down...this time nearly striking the wall to their right before Michael's swivelling of the steering wheel jerked them to the left. The Mako listed, rising on its right side...then thumped back to the ground as their flight was turned into a drive.

"Nice drop, Joker!" Michael called out, arms still moving as he swivelled the steering wheel left and right, steadying the machine as they moved down the tunnel.

_Keelah_...

Tali's annoyance faded as she stared at the sight ahead. After their initial drop the tunnel was planing out into a high and wide space that far away faded into a pale white light, as if a _star_ was waiting for them... All along the walls there were growths, giants roots of trees...pushing down to the ankle-deep water running down the tunnel...

It was..._massive_.

And unfortunately they weren't alone in it.

Tali's stomach lurched as Michael veered to the left, then right, dodging missiles fired from a couple of Geth rocket troopers even as the Mako's shields flared with the impacts of several pulse shots. Michael's voice was annoyingly calm: "Garrus, go for the rocket troops, we're not stopping."

"Got it." Ahead the Mako lurched left, Garrus' acknowledgement accompanied by an explosion of a fired grenade tearing apart two Geth rocket troops even as the Mako jumped with the impact as its wheels struck two other Geth, crushing them as it drove on

"Ahh...love the smell of crushed Geth in the morning." Michael mused, the man otherwise looking completely focused as he leant forth in his seat, driving left and right as he dodged missiles from the Geth they had passed by.

Atop his seat behind Tali Garrus turned his head from his screen momentarily. "You can't smell them in here...are you well?"

A small chuckle was the initial response: "It's another human thing Garrus...and I'm quite all right." A slight shift of his head, not really a glance, just a...turn towards her...and Tali smiled.

She turned her attention back to her own screen, the glow of her omni-tool making the screen glow orange. "Got an Armature ahead."

"I'll just move around it, Garrus, focus on our rear." Michael retorted even as they saw the large Geth machine appear up ahead...and Tali groaned inwardly.

Her hands closed around the dashboard...and not a minute too soon as Michael veered to the right, dodging a large bolt of energy, then to the left, dodging another...and then right again, the Mako lurching like mad as it skipped past the enemy machine.

Then the thrusters of the Mako fired, shooting the vehicle to the left and away from the wall it nearly crashed into...and bringing it back to the centre of the tunnel.

Tali swallowed, shooting Michael something between a stern look and a grimace. _I __hate__ your driving_...

"Hey, at least we're making good time." Michael spoke, making Tali blink in surprise. _I didn't say it out loud_... "Hey Garrus, has Tali thrown up yet?"

"Nope, ten creds says it'll take five more minutes."

"You're on."

"I'm glad..." Tali shook her head, glaring at the two chuckling men. "...my discomfort pleases you...jackasses."

And the other two just chuckled.

_Keelah_..._when I get out you'll __both__pay_... Tali grinned, despite her rolling stomach.

Ahead the glow seemed steady, despite them moving forward, making her wonder just how long the tunnel was...and what might be the cause of the light.

"_Welcome_."

Tali blinked, looking away from her screen she glanced up at the others, but neither seemed to have spoken, nor would they have said something so...weird...or so _softly_.

"_I detected your presence some time ago, it is good that you have come_."

Then Garrus coughed, the Turian sounding uneasy: "Is anyone else hearing that?"

Michael nodded even as he drew on, swerving away from a cluster of incoming missiles. "You mean that voice in your head? Whew, thought I had gone nuts...erm...I mean..._nuttier_."

"_I am Vigil, the VI responsible for this facility, the keeper of the last of the Protheans_..." The voice was still soft...and held a mote of sadness in it "..._masters_ _now_ _gone_."

Tali found a hand darting up to her helmet, uselessly pressing against it as she shuddered with revulsion. It was bad enough with her people long ago having created the Geth, but to have a computer's intelligence riffling around in her _mind_ – never mind if it was a VI and not an AI – was _disgusting_.

The voice didn't seem to detect her disgust though, or perhaps it didn't care: "_I am contacting you because that is what my masters wanted_. _They wanted those following them to live_." There was...melancholy in the voice as it dutifully spoke: "_They never knew of the Reapers until they appeared, a horde of great machines, all using the Citadel as their gateway_..."

"The Citadel?" Garrus echoed, surprised.

Michael, still not taking his eyes off the road, nodded however. "Sovereign boasted that _they_ made the Mass Relays and the Citadel, and the Citadel is a hub leading to _all_ other systems..." Another nod. "...take out the heart of all communications and they can then attack any place at will."

Vigil continued, unheeding of their words: "_Our leadership was concentrated to the Citadel and died in the first attack, as must have happened thousands of times before_. _There was chaos_..._all others cut off from one another, not knowing what to do, there were no __instructions__, no __order__, only __death_..."

It almost sounded..._pained_.

Tali shuddered.

"_The Reapers harvested the galaxy_..._planets burnt_..._and the Protheans_..._were no more_." A slight pause...then the VI spoke again: "_Even when they left the Reapers had devastated the Protheans, what few survivors left couldn't find one another, our pleas via the beacons went unheeded, those that tried to leave_..._were taken by the servants left behind_."

_Servants_? _Left_ _behind_?

But Vigil didn't hear her thoughts, the tone soft as it continued: "_Here on Ilos a few scientists survived...and knew their race would be no more, those following could be helped however_. _The Keepers of the Citadel had been the ones activating it, making it the gateway the Reapers needed, and __they__ could be stopped_."

"The Keepers?" Garrus echoed, the Turian shaking his head before his finger twitched on his controls blowing yet another Geth in their way apart. "And they made a law _against_ studying them...tell me again why we're trying to save these morons?"

"_Here on Ilos the Conduit had been completed just as the Reapers struck. The first __Prothean__ Mass Relay_..._an experimental Relay connected to the interior of the Citadel_._ They did not know if they could succeed with blocking the signal ordering the Keepers to activate the Citadel, or even if they could __reach__ the Citadel_..._but they went_..._because you are here I can now judge them to have been successful_."

Before Tali...Michael's shoulders stiffened. "That's why Saren wants to find the Conduit...he'll go to activate the Citadel from the inside."

"_The one proceeding you_..._I found the trace of indoctrination in him, he will go to the Conduit, travel to the Citadel with the machines in his charge_..." Vigil went quiet. "_He will undo what has been done_..._and the Reapers will once more set the galaxy aflame, my masters would not wish that_." A pause, then: "_Please, you must stop the Reapers_."

"I intend to..." Michael retorted, voice a low growl.

"_I have stalled your foe as far as my depleting energies has allowed_..._but he is now through the Conduit, his machines with him_." Vigil's tone was almost...weary...yet found new strength as it called out: "_My masters wishes are mine, please, stop him, make their deaths worthwhile_."

Silence.

Then Michael veered past an enemy rocket as Garrus' retort blew the offending Geth apart...and Michael's voice, calm.

"Noted."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for glancing at this one._


	61. Chapter 61

_An actual relay_...

Tali stared down the sudden slope of the tunnel, finding the scene surreal.

The water that had flowed through the tunnel was pouring down the slope before falling down into a small lake at the entrance of the room below, then snaking away in a curvy river running through a room of rolling rises of dirt and rock. The room was _large_ though...the ceiling disappearing behind that of the tunnel, its walls far apart on all sides, walls bare of anything but worn stones, all save the one on the right where several large cylinders of steel glowed a hazy dark blue...

Yet the one thing standing out was the Relay itself. Tali was used to seeing them in space, back on the Flotilla or the Normandy...jumping through a Relay was a common enough sight. But this one was on a _planet_...its short end disappearing into the ground as the two long blades of it shot up towards a distant ceiling. Its head was aglow with blue energy...the two metal circles around it spinning in a dizzying pattern..._active_.

Even as she watched a column of Geth troops marched into the blue light...and disappeared with a flash of white shooting up along the two blades.

_It works_...

Tali swallowed, realising what that meant. Saren had already gone through to attack the Citadel...and they were about to follow.

Even as the realisation dawned on her she saw the Geth remaining – columns of them heading towards the glowing relay – turning their heads, cold eyes looking up at the Mako even as their bodies swivelled to face them. And at their flanks...half a dozen Geth Armatures turned to face them...their heads aglow with the charge of readying energy blasts.

"Sooo...this could get bumpy." Michael muttered.

Tali narrowed her eyes at him, knowing all too well what he meant, yet couldn't help sourly asking: "_What_?"

The reply with a screech that penetrated even their hull as Michael stomped down on the accelerator, the Mako jerking Tali back in her seat as it jumped forth. _Oh by all the ancestors_...

Ahead, a series of heavy energy blasts arched forth, only to strike the floor behind them as the Mako surged forth, its shields flaring up as the Geth platoons not yet through the Relay turned their pulse rifles at them.

A quick glance at her instruments and Tali's eyes widened even as she moved to stare through the windshield. "Michael! All those Geth are _tearing_ through our shields!"

"Don't worry." Michael retorted, voice calm as ever even as the Mako reached the end of the tunnel...only to jerk upwards as its thrusters fired. The sudden jolt sent the vehicle over the water in a graceful arch even as more armature shots whizzed past, one nearly grazing its wheels before it struck the water below.

"It's a bit hard hitting them when you drive like this!" Garrus called out even as a grenade missed the packed column of Geth troopers around, instead sending up clumps of wet mud as a single clipped trooper fell into the nearby river.

"Don't worry."

They were bumping and veering through the mud...and Tali could only stare in horror as the armatures turned away from their difficult target, instead turning to face the cylinders lining the rightmost wall. _Oh_ _no_..._I think they're going to_... "They're going to blow the power!"

A grunt through gritted teeth, Michael not sparing half a glance back: "Don't _worry_..."

Her console cried out, whistling a warning even as the hull in front of the windshield threw up sparks as flecks of steel and pain flew off. "Our shields are down!"

"Don't worry!"

They crested a slope of wet mud...and jerked as the thrusters once more fired, sending the machine hurtling over the column of firing Geth. The front wheel tore the head off the closest one even as the rest poured shots into the undercarriage of the Mako, drawing another cry from the computer even as they landed before the Relay. "Second wheel set is out!"

"I said, _don't_ worry!" Michael's retort was almost lost in the sudden explosion as something in the back of the Mako broke apart, sending a cloud of black smoke flowing into the room.

A cough from Garrus, the Turian's voice tinged with just a hint of panic as he swivelled the turret around: "The Armatures are firing! They'll cut the power!"

The Mako shook, then jerked forth with a final shot of the thrusters...and white light filtered through the smoke...

"Don't-!"

8

8

8

"-worry!"

With a sudden feeling of vertigo Tali found herself staring through the smoke and a cracked windshield behind which showed something new entirely, a green and white sky...arching walls to each side.

She blinked, arching an eyebrow. _Is that_..._the_ _Presidium_?

Then they were falling, spinning...

Their _world_ crashed into something with a loud crack...only to spin even faster as the Mako rolled through the air like a broken toy.

A snap...and Tali heard Garrus scream as his bulk flew into her seat, the chair's riveting creaking in protest as her buckle dug into her suit. There was a crash of breaking glass, pieces of it bouncing against her visor, smoke clogging the room...ruining all sense of up and down as everything spun round, making her call out a warning as she realized what would happen.

There was a crump...and the world came to a sudden stop, Tali feeling one of the buckles in her seatbelt snap with the force of the stop as she was thrown upwards...and then came to hang there as a screech of metal sliding against metal slowly ebbed out.

_Ouch_...

Her ears rang, her body ached wherever her seatbelt had dug into her...and she wasn't quite sure how she had been able to stop herself from throwing up as she felt her stomach roll around and press up against her lungs.

Craning her head she found Michael gripping at the controls of the Mako, his seatbelt coming off the seat even as she watched, making him fall to the right wall with a grunt.

Then her ears stopped ringing...only to be replaced by the sound of a rapid clicking and hissing.

Unbuckling her belt, Tali managed to grip at her seat and twist with the fall, dropping feet first onto the floor of the sizzling interior of the Mako, a floor that technically was supposed to be the ceiling...and found the source of the sound.

The left side entrance to the Mako had been torn open, part of the wall around it missing...and Garrus hung from it by his right foot, blue blood in his mouth, a mouth rapidly moving as his mandibles clicked together in a rapid stream of..._sounds_.

"I _think_...that's Turian swearing." Michael grunted, the man dropping down next to her, his head turning lazily to the left and right, the man still jarred from the impact.

More clicking and hissing...before Garrus' pained words came through: "Of course it's swearing you son of a..._ah_!"

Exchanging a look Tali and Michael advanced, her face twisting into a grimace as she saw Garrus hanging out of the opening, leg at an..._odd_ angle. "I think he's hurt..."

"_REALLY_!" Garrus cried out, followed by a rapid series of clicks. "You _THINK_!"

Michael shook his head, the marine advancing up to the Turian, Tali hot in his heels as she saw the green of a Presidium lawn below the hanging Garrus. Michael sighed at the Turian: "You're not being very polite you know..."

A hiss followed by another series of clicks. "Get me _down_!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Michael reached down, gripping Garrus' foot... "...crybaby." ...and pulling it free from where it had gotten stuck.

A gasp...and Garrus fell out, crashing to the ground with a thump and another series of clicks. "Damn it, Michael! That _hurt_!"

"Get me down he says..." Michael shook his head, a smirk in his voice as he swung himself out of the hole. "...and then he whines about it when I do...it's just a broken leg."

Tali shook her head, gripping at the edge before swinging herself down to the ground next to Garrus. The man had rolled onto his back and now clutched at his right leg, its foot turned in the opposite direction then it was supposed to be. "I'll break _your_ leg and you'll see how it feels..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Michael's retort faded into the background as Tali stared around herself.

They had crashed into a corner of the Presidium, surprisingly near to the elevator leading to the Council chamber. Judging by the humming Mass Relay monument sticking out from the water nearby...it had never been a monument in the first place.

Yet all that paled in significance compared to the destruction around them.

Several bridges had collapsed, their debris clogging the water running through the Presidium...a Presidium that wasn't bright and white as before, but now dark, all lamps shattered by some unknown force. The only source of light that of the fires running rampant down fields of grass and broken computers...even a few corpses strewn around were aflame, grim torches in an oppressive darkness.

In such a fading light it was impossible to see across the Presidium as before...but the tell-tale lights of firing pulse-rifles showed ahead, accompanied by screams and a few bursts of return fire from the odd armed person trying to resist the flood of Geth having rushed into the very heart of the Citadel.

She could barely see a few Geth moving in the distance, their white armour standing out, making them look like white ghosts as they slid forward, weapons firing into screaming shadows.

It was complete chaos.

_Just like with the Protheans_..._Keelah_..._no_...

She turned her gaze over to Michael...who too stared out over the destruction, his humour gone, lips a grim line as he looked out over it all...hands tightening into fists. His voice was calm as he nodded to himself: "Saren will need to get to the Council chamber to reach the main controls for the Citadel, there's where he's heading, there's where I'm heading."

"Okay." Tali moved her freed shotgun up, resting it on her shoulder as she moved forth...

Only to stop as Michael raised a hand to signal a stop. "You're not going."

She blinked, then took a defiant step forth, eyes narrowing: "_What_!"

Michael turned to face her, eyes calm under the visor of his helmet as he looked down at the now silent Garrus, then up to her: "You have to stay here, keep Garrus safe, he can't make it here on his own."

"And what about _you_! You're going to take on Saren and his cohorts by _yourself_!" Tali took another step forward, her left hand darting up to shove a pointing finger into Michael's face. "This is about saving the damn _galaxy_!"

Michael looked back evenly...even as Garrus spoke up, voice a pained mutter: "I agree, I'll take care of myself as best as I can, you go and-"

"No." Michael looked down at Garrus, eyes narrowing in a stern look. "No more sacrifices, no more heroics, you'll live." His eyes moved back to Tali...and she felt herself shudder. "And _you'll_ make _sure_ of that."

"Keelah..." Tali shook her head, panic squeezing her heart tight, making a tear run down her cheek. "...no more sacrifices...? None but your own-"

"No." Michael interrupted her, hands moving up to grip her shoulders, calming...but not as calming as his _stance_. One of _control_, of _inner_ calm, of inner _strength_. His voice echoed it all...conviction filling it: "_No_ more sacrifices, _no_ more losses."

"I..." Tali hesitated, feeling _compelled_ by his order, by his _calm_...even as every _cell_ in her body cried out to disobey, to _follow_ him.

Michael's right hand darted up, finding the underside of her helmet, pushing hear head up to look up as he moved closer...and she felt her heart thud against her ribs as he smiled down at her: "We'll _live_, _all_ of us, _that's_ the objective."

_Secondary objective you mean_... Tali swallowed, unable to say it as she stared up at him, feeling an urge to rise up and...

_Damn this visor_...

And Michael's smile widened, perhaps hearing her thought, perhaps..._echoing_ it.

It made her heart ache.

The moment stretched on...and Tali held onto it, wanting it to go on _forever_, _fearing_ the future...

Then Garrus spoke up, a pained whisper: "Ten credits says Saren's gone completely nuts..."

Michael held her gaze...and then grinned as he shot Garrus a look: "No bet, I'm not an idiot."

A small chuckle, unseen by Tali as she stared at Michael, memorizing his face, just...in case he... _Keelah_... Garrus' voice was sombre however, fitting her mood: "Says the man about to take on platoons of Geth on his own...snipe one for me will you?"

"Of course." Michael stepped back...and Tali felt her hands, hands that had begun to reach up for his shoulders, drop to her sides...powerless to stop him. "Tali..." He hesitated, _staring_ at her, drinking her in...perhaps realizing that his bold intentions might not come true...then offered her a nod. "...keep Garrus safe..." There was something else to be said, his mouth still half open...but no words came.

Another nod...and he turned to leave.

"Michael!"

He stopped, head turning to look at her as Tali's mouth worked, trying to form the words she so desperately wanted to say.

_Should say it_..._I __need__ to say it_..._but if he falls_..._it would hurt __so__ much_..._yet if I don't_...

"I..."

_I'll regret it if I don't say it_..._I should say it_...

Fear squeezed her heart, pushing all breath out of her.

Fear of what he'd say, fear of what would happen in the battle, fear of what _could_ happen...

Her shoulders slumped, defeated.

"...I _really_ hate your driving."

Michael blinked, staring at her in confusion...only for that _irritating_ smile to flash forth.

And then he was gone, rushing after Saren...out of reach.

Tali looked down at the floor, shoulders shaking as she felt the personal defeat like a jab to the heart, and Garrus' soft voice didn't help: "You should have said it..."

"I know, Garrus..."

Shaking her head she crouched down besides the Turian, unwilling to meet his gaze as her hands moved to aid his stricken leg.

"I know..."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her endurance._


	62. Chapter 62

Need.

Purpose.

It _reverberated_ through his body, _rushed_ through him like a flood, _purged_ him of weakness and fear, made him move forth, fast and steady, set on his course.

_No_ hesitation, _no_ faltering.

His steps were fast and even, each one precisely measured, hitting the once polished – now ash-coved – floor of the Council chamber with the ever steady click and clack of his armoured boots.

The walls were scorched where shots had missed, the floor strewn with flakes of blackened ash and smouldering fragments of the once great hall. Here and there a slain c-sec officer lay, along with the odd downed Geth.

_Unimportant_.

He moved up the stairs, his mandibles, one now of metal, clacked against his mouth as he stalked forth, an angry growl escaping him as the six Geth on his back followed in twin columns, tools that couldn't fully comprehend the _glory_ of the _ascension_ they'd _never_ be part of.

They _stank_.

Oil and metal, filthy and simple in their construction, rudimentary and pathetic.

But not as pathetic as _flesh_.

The scorching of the c-sec officers was _barely_ an improvement, they _still_ reeked of their flesh...of weakness and fear, of _imperfection_...flaws, hundreds upon hundreds of _flaws_...the stench filled his nostrils, assaulted his senses.

It was maddening.

His claws clicked against one another as his arms hung limply by his sides, wanting to tear and shred, to rip apart that filthy flesh of those that had _befouled_ the Citadel...even to rip his _own_ flesh off, to rid himself of what little weakness remained.

He ignored it.

All that was important was the _need_, the _purpose_...

Forward.

Forward.

_Forward_.

It was _all_ that mattered, all that _ever_ mattered.

Each step was a relief.

Each step a comfort.

Each step made the tension within him ease, removing a _pebble_ of the _mountain_ pushing down upon his shoulder.

A snarl escaped through his fangs, an explosion of rage as his lungs breathed in deeply.

Even the _air_ was filth...a smudge filtering into his lungs...a pathetic thing his pathetic body _needed_...

But not as much as he needed..._control_.

Ahead he saw it, the empty podium for the Council, the controls he needed...and his eyes widened in glee as he bared his fangs in a hiss.

His strides _widened_, his body _quivering_, tense..._needing_.

He reached the summit, steps quickening even as the Geth came to a stop, letting him alone move up the small bridge he'd walked on a hundred times before, to reach the round platform he so many years ago had knelt upon...

But never had he leapt from it, never had he flown over the pathetic little garden below.

Never had he come down upon the podium with a crash, the podium of the Council.

It felt like heresy, making him grimace.

_I am still loyal_..._loyal to what they stand for_..._protection_..._I will_...

_Irrelevant_.

The need pushed his jab of hesitation aside, turning the grimace into a grin as his hands moved towards the middle-most console, the glow of it such a tranquil thing, promising peace, calm, an _end_...

_I have to see him, I __must_..._see_ _him_...

A quick tap of controls...and the wall behind the podium soundlessly sank down, revealing a large window with black reinforcements of steel running through it in a criss-cross pattern. And _behind_ it...the Citadel's arms stretching out like the petals of a flower, the purple haze of the star Widow lazily drifting through the black space outside, intermingling with the orange blossoms of exploding ships in a distant battle.

All irrelevant to the beauty, of the _majesty_...of Sovereign.

The giant god drifted forth so lazily, great arms opening wide, purple and black carapace shining from the lights of the Citadel, yellow eyes boring down on Saren, _demanding_ his obedience even as it moved to grip the Citadel tower...

_I'm yours_...

Saren felt as if someone had ripped his very being from his body as it sunk to its knees, its arms extending out to its sides...in worship.

_Irrelevant_.

With a jolt Saren came to his feet, something within him shaking, as if his soul had been tossed back into his crude body like a broken toy.

He swayed where he stood, blinking lazily as a numbness spread over his skull, making him...confused? He was supposed...to do something?

_I_..._save galaxy by_...

It was all so...hazy.

And before him Sovereign glared down at him...

_Pain_!

Saren jerked where he stood, biting down hard as he struggled with the sudden agony shooting through his skull, feeling as if a curved barb had cut into it and was pulling it in _two_...

_Need_..._I_ _need_...

Saren wasn't sure _what_ he needed any more, only that it _had_ to be filled...his hand, feeling so distant as he numbly looked at it...moved down to the satchel he wore, freeing the small item he'd received...Sovereign's _gift_...

It was a five-sided black cone that neatly fit into his palm, five curved leaf-like protrusions shooting out of it and upwards, open like a flower...

_Need_...

Saren stared at the thing...and wasn't sure what he did as he moved it towards the glowing console next to him...

A spark of energy between the strange item and the console...and there was a hum of power within the thing in his hand...

He frowned, staring at it, he couldn't...make sense of it.

It was difficult...to _think_.

_Need_...

It drove into him like a spike...and Saren's mouth opened wide in a soundless gasp as all breath was driven from his lungs.

It _hurt_...

Raising the thing before him, holding it out for Sovereign...Saren's fingers came to press against the petals of the little item...and watched them slowly close before him even as the arms of the distant Citadel moved inwards to close.

The agony disappeared, replaced by...relief...wonderful, full, _relief_. Saren's eyes closed, a small smile appearing on his lips as he felt...blissfully adrift.

A click...and he knew the petals of his tool had closed...as the Citadel's arms had.

He knew what it meant.

They were _all_ doomed...and Sovereign was pleased.

His smile widened.

8

8

8

Choice.

It all came down to choice, Michael _knew_ that now.

It was...a relief.

Saren had _chosen_ to do what he thought was right, so had Michael, the Council had chosen to do nearly nothing, each one that had followed Michael for his mad chase after the rogue Spectre had _chosen_ to do so...choice...it was what it all came down to.

Yes, he had _chosen_ to kill for credits, for the thrill. He had _chosen_ the most horrid and cruel things there was, chosen to visit such horrors upon others for his own gain. He had _chosen_ to do what he had done at Elysium...and however much he wanted to he could not change that.

Yet Tali had shown him something else...his choices _after_ that...all coming down to a choice after Elysium...a choice that had brought him to the outside of the Citadel tower, a choice he'd _never_ want to change.

It wasn't about being a good man, or about repentance, neither was attainable, not really, it was about _making_ your choice...and living or dying by it.

He had _chosen_ to always train, to always study, to sacrifice living his own life for the sake of others, to assume command even when he feared failing again. For he believed he _knew_ the _consequences_ of failure better then _anyone_, for he believed that he'd do his _utmost_ to never repeat it.

He had chosen to spare some people, to kill others, for he believed in justice...as well as redemption.

He had chosen to hunt Saren, to confront his visions, for he believed he had to.

He had chosen to leave Ashley to die...for he believed in doing what was right for the mission and the lives of others...even if it caused him pain.

He had chosen to let Tali guard Garrus, despite needing her, for he believed in the Marine adage of never to leave a man behind.

By God...Michael was _proud_ over his choices.

The Geth had sabotaged the elevator to stall him, Michael had expected no less. He had also expected the intense opposition now in his path as he moved up the Citadel tower in a pace that would have made his drill-instructor stare in awe.

It was a beautiful sight.

Despite the danger the closed Citadel implied it was wondrous to behold, so many lights of orange, purple and white flickering around him, the city of the Citadel still alight with life...beautiful in its frailty. How many people was it? How many saw the fight taking place at the tower and shook with fear? Choosing to do nothing?

Yet Michael could not blame them, or rather, he _chose_ not to.

Many no doubt saw him through binoculars and the like...staring in wonder at the strange sigh of a lone human taking on an army of Geth... If he survived they would probably call him a hero...yet when it came down to it he was simply one person...making a choice. A choice to _charge_.

Ahead of him the black shape of Sovereign rose, majestic and uncaring of the tiny human climbing the Citadel tower, the massive Reaper's claws held onto the tower, a cancer at the very heart of the great display of light, a _taint_.

Michael didn't have time to look at it more closely though, to think about it, his concentration focused on his immediate path.

His breathing was heavy, shields at half, weapons both in hands and on his back hissing, close to overheating, legs aching, body bruised, armour cracked.

He endured though.

Ahead the curves of the tower made for a wall to his left, to his right it opened up into a rising path onto some sort of platform he couldn't quite make out. And in the centre...there were two sources of cover. One a dozen feet ahead of him, yet another wide frame that held up a large antenna above...the other to the left of it, further away...a low bundle of thick cables...

...behind which three Geth troopers stood, firing intensely towards Michael as he came at them.

He didn't fire back, there wasn't time to stop, to shoot accurate shots enough to kill them, nor could he let his already warm assault rifle overheat by firing a larger burst.

He had to keep moving, had to keep _advancing_.

He moved left, dodging a flurry of shots, then kicked off against the wall, sending him hurtling to the right, a single shot striking his shield as the others passed him by.

_No left exists, centre will damage my shields too much_..._right_ _it_ _is_ _then_.

He kept running, placing the cover of the antenna's frame between himself and the Geth as he ran, letting his shields build up just a little bit as he _kept_ running...right up the rise.

A series of stutters as the Geth called out in warning...and Michael found himself running up atop a _small_ platform, a sheer drop right ahead of him, followed by a continuing of the platform ahead.

He leapt, spun to the left mid-air...and fired.

Below him the three Geth, now staying behind a cover Michael was _above_, looked up, rifles moving to track him...

The first fell instantly, neck and head exploding into tiny fragments.

The second twitched, chest-plate snapping...before something in its spine snapped and sent the machine tumbling to the floor.

The third stumbled backwards, into the wall, then fell over its useless cover, chest breaking apart.

His rifle beeped out, overheating...and he put it back behind his back even as his feet struck the floor on the next platform.

Too fast!

He fell forward, hearing a hiss as a ruddy blast of a Geth sniper shot through the air above him.

Rolling with the impact Michael's hand found his sniper rifle, the weapon clicking into readiness in his hands as he came up on one knee, scope tracking the dying light of the enemy blast.

The Geth in the scope almost looked...surprised.

A thump of the rifle against his shoulder...and the machine's head exploded even as the weapon in Michael's hands overheated.

_How many times have I switched weapons_? Michael had lost count, the sniper rifle clicked into place behind his back as his hand darted down, pulling his pistol free as a flurry of shots arched forth, forcing him to jump down behind a low wall adorned with several round antennas even as his comm crackled into life.

_Huh_?

Michael didn't want to stop, didn't have time...but his struggling shields, hissing weapons and beeping comm demanded otherwise.

"This is Commander Shepard, identify." Michael risked a glance over the wall, finding a near dozen Geth at the top of a rise, covering behind a low wall, then ducked back down as they fired another volley towards him.

_Not advancing, just holding, keeping me back_..._screw_ _that_.

"Commander Shepard, this is Admiral Hackett, fifth fleet."

Michael sagged with relief at the words, smiling under his visor he rolled up to aim over the cover, putting a solid shot in the face of a Geth before the storm of enemy shots forced him back down. "Admiral! It's been too long! What are you up to!"

There was a pause, then the admiral's voice, steady as always: "I have arrived through a Relay with the Fifth Fleet, we're ready to engage."

"Great news...wait..._ready_ to engage?" Michael asked, the antenna above him coming apart in scorched pieces as the Geth concentrated their fire upon his position, making him slide to the right of his low wall.

"The Geth are rapidly destroying the Citadel fleet, the Council is upon their flagship, the Destiny's Ascension...but we see that the Citadel is closed, and Sovereign is apparently a _monster_..."

Michael blinked, then smirked even as he jumped up, pushing the antenna in front of him forward as his three consecutive shots tore at the cover in front of the Geth, one flying piece of the wall striking one, making it stumble back, its shoulder torn open. "_So_! Do I _look_ like an admiral! Listen, I'm kind of in the middle of..." He bit back a curse as the antenna broke apart, making him jump back into cover as the Geth opened up.

"Commander, _you_ are the one who has faced Saren before, who _knows_ of Sovereign." Hackett's voice was steady, calm, _set_. "Fifth fleet is at your command."

The briefest of pauses...and Michael blinked.

Another choice.

_But what of mine_?

Behind his cover...assaulted by a barrage of Geth pulse shots...Michael found himself slid to sit down.

_Sovereign's powerful, he's also about to activate the Citadel_..._top priority_. _Yet the Citadel fleet_..._how many lives is that_? _And the Council_..._important_..._but_..._just_ _three_ _people_...

Another shot smashed into his cover, reminding him all too clearly of how he'd gotten into his position.

_Three_..._idiot_ _people_...

_Fuck_ _them_.

"Admiral Hackett, Sovereign's a top priority, I want you to..." He found his words dying in his mouth.

Vigil's words echoed within him, a whisper he _couldn't_ ignore: "_Our leadership was concentrated to the Citadel and died in the first attack, as must have happened thousands of times before_."

_But_..._they're_..._I can't risk_..._if we lose this battle we won't win the war following_...

"_There was chaos_..._all others cut off from one another, not knowing what to do, there were no __instructions__, no __order__, only __death_..."

_Yet if we __do__ lose it_..._don't we need them_? _Not to mention the thousands upon Destiny's __Ascension_...

_They're not that important, they're not the leaders we need_..._or_...

Michael's shoulders slumped even as a piece of the wall to his left blew apart.

_Dammit_..._I __hate__ choosing to do the right thing_..._damn_ _tiring_ _work_...

He chuckled.

_The price of freedom eh_?

"...engage Sovereign _after_ you have saved the Destiny's Ascension, _engage_, give them hell! No one's sacrificed!"_ I am __not__ Saren_...

The tiniest of chuckles, the first sign of emotion in the admiral Michael had spoken to through comms for what felt like ages now: "Engaging, Commander, Fifth fleet at full thrust." A small pause. "And what of Sovereign? We cannot penetrate the Citadel's arms and engage it."

Rolling to the right Michael came up on one knee, pistol twitching in his hands four times...and two Geth fell with keening cries, their corpses drifting upwards in the low gravity even as the remaining opened up at his new position.

_This is taking too long_..._I need to reach the Council chamber_..._and Saren_.

Michael's hand moved, holstering his pistol before moving to free his shotgun, now fully cooled down...and he smiled.

_Close quarters it is_...

"Don't worry Admiral..." Michael's free hand shot up from the cover, gripping one of the antenna's and jerking it off it's arm even as he flew to his feet...and leapt over his cover as the Geth above opened up.

Their shots tore into the round antenna before him, tearing holes in it as he moved it left and right. Some shots still struck his kinetic barrier, making it glow blue...but many others whizzed through the metal only to miss him because of his concealing shield as he came charging up the slope.

Ahead the Geth pulled back in alarm as he came rushing straight at them, shotgun charging up to the max behind his shredded shield.

"...I'll get it open."

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for everything._


	63. Chapter 63

"Scratch one!"

Tali glared at Garrus, finding his enjoyment of the fight reprehensible. There were many things she liked about the man...but his love for the fight was _not_ one of them. People out there in the darkness were _dying_...and Garrus was enjoying the _fight_.

Mostly she was glaring at his leg though.

Even straightened it was clear that it was broken within his armour as it limply lay resting on the patch of grass behind the downed Mako. Broken, useless, keeping him stuck in the cover of their downed transport...and keeping _her_ stuck _with_ him!

_I should be_... She looked over at the elevator to the Citadel tower, and not for the first time.

Yet she would do what Michael had ordered, it drove her _mad_, but she would do it...anything else was betraying his trust...and a betrayal of her _friend_.

She shot Garrus another glare for good measure. _Damn friend and his damn leg_...

"You know...that's getting distracting." The Turian shot her a glance, then returned to looking down the scope as he lay underneath the tilted front of the Mako, virtually hidden in the debris of it from any casual observer. Another thump of his sniper rifle against his shoulder...and a distant shape of a Geth on the bridge ahead of them fell over the railing with a wail and a splash.

"I'm _so_ sorry." Tali retorted with a sigh, the pistol in her hand feeling useless as she shot a glance out into the darkness and glowing flames. "Is the Quarian that _straightened_ your leg annoying you as she plays your _babysitter_?"

Garrus chuckled, the rifle jerking once more, destroying something out in the darkness. "You protect not just me you know...I'm sure Michael would approve of this." He nodded backwards, making Tali glance back.

They looked...horrible.

Ten people. Four of them Asari, two humans, a Volus and two Turians...finely dressed...and covered in smudge, ash and blood...eyes wide as they stared at Garrus and Tali, apparently fearing _them_ as much as they feared the Geth.

_Panicked_..._shame they can't appreciate the irony of them being protected by one of the gypsies they used to look down at_...

The thought brought Tali some amusement...only for her to remember _why_ they needed protection.

_Michael_..._please be okay_.

A sigh...and Garrus growled: "Would you _stop_ worrying?"

Tali glared down at him, anger surging through her. "And would you _start_?"

A pause...then the Turian shook his head, voice low: "Look, who's better suited to handle the situation then Michael?"

"I..."

"That's right, he stands the best chance of us all...and worrying won't help."

"I..." Tali sighed, shoulders slumping as she looked out over the darkness. "...hate it when you make sense."

"Well _some_ of us can't be all lovestruck and stupid." Garrus retorted with a little chuckle, making Tali blush. "Some of us have to-" He stopped mid-sentence, his grip firming on his sniper rifle as it moved to track something, eyes narrowing. "More civs coming out way...heading for the bridge...they're pursued."

Ahead there were white strobes of light from pulse shots...and moving shadows of many running people.

"Ready for this?"

Tali nodded, not sparing Garrus a glance as she stepped over him, preparing to run forth. "Ready."

A scream, one of the shadows falling with a flash of white as they moved over the bridge...and Garrus called out: "Now!"

Tali ran even as Garrus rifle fired, smashing into a distant thing even as Tali saw the hazy outline of a human woman running over the bridge, her face screwed into a grimace of panic. Behind her a cluster of Asari came, shrieking even as the one furthest at the back fell, a glowing hole in her back as the pursuing Geth came into view.

The first one fell, head blown apart...only to be pushed aside by the others as they levelled their weapons upon the fleeing civilians.

_Always__ ready_. Gritting her teeth Tali's left hand shot out, omni-tool aglow...and one of the Geth at the front whirled about, rifle pouring shots into the gut of the one behind it...only to fall as those following blew it apart.

_Well that didn't work_... Running faster Tali saw the flash of Garrus shot as it whizzed past her waist and struck another Geth even as the others opened up, felling yet another Asari.

Running up the bridge Tali passed the running crowd, left hand moving to the right to push the shoulder of the last Asari onwards as she sent a shot into the chest of the closest Geth...before turning and running, putting herself between the running people and the Geth.

Instantly her shields flashed with impacts, the Geth shots slamming into her as she ran, forcing herself to keep the pace down to cover the running people...

Garrus' sniper spoke...and another Geth fell with a wail.

The Mako looked painfully distant...as the human at the front fell with a scream, her leg burnt by a shot that had missed Tali...

Again Garrus fired...even as the human with a cry reached up for the Asari running past her...only to be ignored by the panicked people.

With a thump Tali's shields failed, her suit calling out a warning as a shot thumped painfully into her back. _Not breached yet_... She ran, hand reaching out for the wounded woman...only for the desperate hand to drop as a Geth shot struck the human in the back of her head.

Ahead the crowd of Asari practically ran over Garrus in their hurry to get into safety even as the Turian ended the existence of another Geth...and Tali felt a stinging pain in her left shoulder.

She spun with the impact as she came up next to Garrus, pistol swinging wide, firing wildly at the Geth crossing the bridge...and two fell over the railing even as the others fired a flurry of shots at her. White balls of light hurtling at her...

_Pain_!

With a gasp Tali fell backwards, her head hitting the ground with a crack, her vision full of white...then swimming as she felt her mind detach from her body...

"Tali!"

Garrus' cry was distant, perforated with the crack of his rifle firing...

She looked down, blinking at the sight of the glowing holes burnt into her suit, white smoke lazily drifting from the impacts...

Her VI spoke, voice calm as ever: "Suit rupture, torso. Antibiotics released, emergency sealant released."

"I'm...okay." Tali muttered, raising her head as she moved a trembling hand to aim her pistol up...and fired a round into the Geth atop the bridge...and then another...and _another_.

Ahead the creatures broke...fell...and retreated, leaving their smashed brethren littering the bridge.

Tali's head dropped back, her pistol dropping from a limp hand as she let her arm drop back..._resting_.

Garrus' voice was tinged with worry: "Are you...sure?"

"Yes...had worse..." Tali muttered, taking a deep breath as she stared up at the darkness above, letting the pain simmer down...

Behind her she heard sobs as the people clustered together, one of the Asari muttering, voice full of terror and disbelief: "W-were w-we j-just resc-rescued by a..._Q-Quarian_?

She smiled.

Then Garrus grunted, irritated: "And a _Turian_ you know, bah, never any appreciation for the fire support..."

Her smile turned into a smirk.

A smirk slowly dying as she forced herself to sit up, her shoulders slumped as she stared out over the destruction and darkness ahead.

_Michael_..._please_ _be_ _okay_.

8

8

8

_Wow_...

Joker stared out through the view-screen, watching the blossoming explosions across the purple haze that was made by the glow of the star Widow.

The Citadel was a massive thing compared to the battling ships around it, resembling a closed peanut. _Closed__ being the word_.

Yet ahead the Destiny's Ascension was still a large ship, one Joker had _always_ admired, an Asari dreadnought that would put _any_ human dreadnought to shame...and now visibly listing to its left as it tried to move up towards the human fleet, the Geth cruisers around it resembling tiny mosquitoes biting piece after piece out of a dying animal.

"This is admiral Hackett." The comm called out, making Joker brighten up as he felt the jolt of excitement that preceded a fight. "We are clear to engage, primary objective is to secure the Destiny's Ascension and the Council." Joker rolled his eyes. _The Council_? _Michael_ _you_ _idiot_..._oh_ _well_..._a_ _fight_ _is_ _a_ _fight_. "Jakarta, Madrid, take point, all cruisers form up in diamond formation. Frigates, proceed to form wolf-packs and wait for command."

His controls beeped as instructions filtered in...and Joker rolled the Normandy rightwards as instructed while he saw the cruisers of the Fifth fleet surge forth to his left in a sharp pyramid-like formation pointed straight at the listing Asari dreadnought.

"All cruisers, fire at will." Hackett's order was calm...and instantly followed by the jerking of the main guns of the long ships, hurling mass accelerator rounds straight at the Destiny's Ascension. Or rather...forming a web of around it, shots tearing through the space around the Dreadnought, tearing into the Geth ships around it, the in comparison tiny ships turning into pieces of blossoming explosions and flying pieces of metal.

_This ought to be good_...

Ahead Geth ships were turning towards the new threat, ignoring the dying ships of the Citadel fleet as they found the human fleet bearing down on them.

"Wolf-packs, engage your given targets." Joker's eyes narrowed at the given coordinates, not at the least surprised to find the choice of target being close to the Destiny's Ascension.

He could _feel_ the other two frigates at his back as he hit the accelerator, sending Normandy hurtling forward, _past_ the still accelerating and firing cruisers...right for the Destiny's Ascension.

Ahead the dreadnought was struggling forward, its engines flickering on and off, orange blossoms of explosions bursting forth from its cracked hull.

Normandy spun under it's right 'wing', acquiring a target...javelins and disruptor torpedoes firing half a moment later, tearing the suddenly visible Geth cruiser in two. The two pieces of it was like that of a broken egg as they fell to the side, letting the Normandy fly through the debris, kinetic barriers shoving the broken stuff aside even as he fired again. Javelins shoot forth...and striking another Geth cruiser at point blank range, making it twist in something akin to agony before it came apart as the two frigate's on the Normandy's back opened up.

A thump...and Joker grimaced as blue blood splashed over his view-screen as they struck a floating Turian corpse, the space before them full of broken pieces of the Citadel fleet and Geth ships alike.

And showing a _lot_ of still intact Geth ships.

Spinning to the left the Normandy avoided a torpedo, only to lurch further to the left as one of the frigates behind it blew apart.

"Come on you fuckers!" Joker ignored the look those behind him shot him as he banked right,disruptor torpedoes shooting forth in a full spread at the approaching Geth, forcing them to evade even as he himself moved to get out of their line of fire.

Then the comm crackled, Hackett's orders soothing with the calm in them: "The Destiny's Ascension is clear, break formation and engage on full front, wolf-packs to engage targets of opportunity. Break through to the Citadel."

"Normandy acknowledges." Joker called in, jerking the Normandy into action and hurling it through the screen of Geth ships, making several turn after him when they really should focus on the approaching cruisers. "Got an opening at my position."

"All cruisers mass at the Normandy's position, we must reach the Citadel."

Around him Geth ships exploded as the human cruisers concentrated their fire, making the Normandy lurch even as Joker forced it into a spin, javelins firing into two Geth cruisers trying to disengage, tearing both of their engines out in fiery explosions.

Still, in the middle of all the explosions...Joker's gaze drifted to the closed Citadel.

_Come on Michael_..._where are you_!

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	64. Chapter 64

_So_..._death or glory eh_?

Michael looked up, ahead Sovereign was a massive black growth clutching onto the Citadel tower, _how_ those large yellow eyes hadn't spotted him as he'd fought his way up escaped Michael's understanding. Perhaps he was beneath its notice, or maybe it was too busy with whatever it was doing to the Citadel...Michael didn't much care for either option.

Then he looked back down, grimacing under his visor at the sight.

The window just before his armoured boots was round and maybe eight feet in diameter. Far below it the first chamber of the Council chamber opened up, a circular room with a fountain at its centre. _The dead people and ash is a new touch though_..._I have to bring that up with the decorator_.

His eyes moved to the fountain, a Geth Prime had taken up a crouched position behind the railing of it, facing the broken elevator, the massive assault rifle in its hands aiming over the fountain and down the small corridor to the door in case someone climbed up the shaft.

Behind it three Geth troopers stood, their white armour shining as they stood as statues just in front of the stairs leading up to the next room of the Council chamber. Due to the angle Michael couldn't see much farther...but he did see two more troopers at the top of said stairs, one on each flank.

_No time to find another way I suppose_... Michael shot a worried look up at Sovereign. _So_..._rappelling_ _it_ _is_. Grimacing he reached back, opening a compartment in his armour just above the shotgun, finding the standard marine rappelling line with magnetic clamps. _I __hate__ rappelling_..._especially in front of enemies_...

Fastening one clamp to the front of his chest Michael checked the winching mechanism before bending down to attach the other clamp to the wall of the Citadel tower, the locks sticking fast with a muted thump.

He took a deep breath...gripping his assault rifle tightly.

_Heh, Ashley would love this kind of attack_...

A small smile escaped him...and Michael jumped forward.

With a crash the window gave way under his feet, shards of glass surrounding Michael like flickering stars as he fell downwards...and glowing amber as they reflected the light of of his firing assault rifle.

There was an electronic cry of warning...only for the Geth calling it out to fall, its neck coming apart in an explosion of broken machinery. The other two below the stairs looked up, the glow of their eyes growing wider as they saw the massive black shape descend upon them...before one of them crumpled, a shot taking it in the eye.

The last one moved to aim upwards...inly to wail as its right arm came of at the elbow to a concentrated burst, sending it tumbling to the floor in a rapidly growing pool of white blood.

Almost down, Michael saw the Prime rise to its full length practically right beneath him...and kicked out with his right leg, the armoured boot taking the large machine in the chest...

A cry...and the Prime toppled over the railing even as Michael landed on the floor on his right knee, rifle aiming up at the stairs in front of him, tracking the two Geth troopers there as they came running down, pulse rifles firing.

Behind him there was a splash of the Prime falling into the water...even as a quick burst from Michael's rifle tore into the chest of the Geth on the left, the machine stumbling back and into the wall next to it before sliding to a rest.

A flash of his shields...and Michael's aim darted to the other Geth...another quick burst and its head came off, weapon falling from its hands as the machine itself fell to the side, only to slowly roll down the steps of the stairs with a low clicking sound.

There was a low growl...and Michael rose as he turned, unhooking his line...and finding the Prime's hands on the railing as it began to hoist its way up...large eye looking up at Michael with its cold light...

A snort...and Michael stomped his foot down on the railing, striking it just to the right side of the Geth's head, making it look at it in question...before Michael freed his knife from the boot and smashed it into the thing's eye.

There was no wail, no cry, Prime's eye stared upwards, as if _seeing_ the blade stuck in it...then its hands released the railing and the Prime fell back into the water with a splash.

_Heh, yeah, she would have loved it_...

Michael didn't smile though, his face remaining grim as he moved to grip his rifle with both hands and turned to walked up the stairs. His rifle panned left and right, but found no targets as he ascended the stairs to the second chamber.

The pillars to each side of the large chamber held many shadows...but no Geth, nor Krogan mercenaries, nothing but darkness and silence...so Michael focused on the front.

Ahead there was the small round patch of grass with a couple of rectangular boulders resting in what Michael supposed was to be some sort of aesthetically pleasing manner, he himself thought it odd to bring _dirt_ indoors...

Past _that_ however there was the second set of stairs reaching up to the Council chamber _itself_... and at the top Michael saw six Geth troopers in twin columns stand, backs facing him as they looked at something outside his vision.

He _could_ see that the wall at the far end had been removed though, that there was nothing but a large _window_ between the chamber and the massive yellow eyes of Sovereign as it glared down at them, like a man looking down at some irritating ants...

_Ants __bite_.

Michael jogged five steps forward, stopped just next to a nearly upright boulder of the garden, pressed his left shoulder against it...and levelled his rifle at the Geth above.

The first Geth on the left fell without a sound, its back torn open. The second began to turn...only for Michael's shots to stitch their way up its side, felling it. The third turned fully...only to get its neck torn open by a hail of bullets from Michael's long burst of fire, it too falling with a loud wail.

Then there was a storm of pulse shots...and Michael ducked back behind the upright boulder, pieces of it coming off with the force of the impacts as the three remaining Geth began to move at him, weapons firing continuously.

Spinning clockwise Michael appeared from the other side of the boulder, putting a quick burst into the right leg of one of the advancing Geth, making it fall forward and down onto the floor with a crunch of a snapping neck.

A spin counter-clockwise...and Michael was back in cover as the two surviving Geth poured shots into his previous position...and then he rushed forth from the right side of the boulder. Ahead there was another boulder lying on its side...and Michael jogged for it in a crouch even as he aimed up, firing a quick burst into the chest of the uppermost Geth and felling it even as the last one corrected its aim.

A shot harmlessly struck his shield...and Michael ducked down behind his cover, more shots smashing into the boulder and the grass behind him as the Geth advanced. Even over the sounds of its _shots_ he could hear its footsteps...

_Close_.

A grin.

Rising to his full length Michael found the Geth virtually right behind the boulder he'd been covering behind, rifle levelled right at his chest...before he smacked it to his right with his own and fired away at full auto.

The Geth cried out...a pitiful little electronic gasp as dozens of shots tore into its torso, tearing apart plates and internal components alike as the machine stumbled backwards...and then fell onto its back, chest gutted and small sparks flashing from its broken insides.

Michael lowered his rifle, the smoke of the barrel rising up before him even as he craned his neck to look up at Sovereign, feeling a little overwhelmed at the sheer _size_ of it as it glared down at him...

Ahead a single set of stairs was all that stayed between him and confronting both Sovereign _and_ Saren...

_I chose this_...

Moving round his cover Michael felt his legs move on their own volition as they carried up up the stairs towards his destiny...

_I won't fail_.

He remembered his words to Tali...and grimaced as he looked up at the massive form of Sovereign.

_And I'll_..._do my utmost to survive_.

"Shepard?" Saren stood atop the podium of the Council, and was turning to look at Michael with eyes wide in disbelief as the human walked up the final steps of the stairs. "How...?"

Coming to a stop at the far end of the bridge he'd once walked on, what felt like a lifetime from the little circle ahead where he'd knelt...Michael smirked up at his foe: "Saren...nice mandible." He nodded at the metallic prosthetic, still remembering how it had felt to snap the real one in his hands... "Surrender."

A harsh explosion of what might once had been a laugh escaped Saren, the Turian glowering down at Michael...who calmly looked back. He'd felt such hatred of the Turian after Ashley's death...but _now_...he understood the choice of the former Spectre, he _did_...more so then he _wanted_...Saren had made a choice that in the end was meant to save as many as he could...

A commendable goal...but a poor choice.

Michael couldn't bring himself to hate the man any longer.

He could only feel...sadness.

_If only you'd chosen differently_..._who knows where we would be now_?

Saren glared down at Michael, the long silence making the Turian bare his fangs in impatience. "Surrender...?" A slight cock of his head...and Saren grinned wide, his tone..._distant_: "I have the power of a God at my disposal..."

Michael lowered his rifle, gaze moving up to Sovereign, its evil gaze boring down at him...then back to Saren: "God is it? Tell me, how much control does Sovereign have over you now?" Saren twitched, making Michael narrow his eyes. "Do you even remember _why_ you're helping Sovereign?" Another twitch. "Do you even _care_?"

A snarl...and Saren leapt off the podium, landing atop the round platform they'd both knelt upon, where they'd both been made into something _more_...inducted into a brotherhood, united in purpose.

Now...foes.

Saren held no weapon, nothing but something black hidden in his left hand...yet Michael knew the danger of fighting the Turian and warily watched him as he kept his rifle lowered as the Turian growled: "Why do you fight it Shepard? You know you cannot win...you _know_ we're all doomed."

_A galaxy aflame_...

_Screams of a race_..._billions dying_.

Michael shook his head, ordering away the images with surprising ease. "The _Protheans_ were doomed, we're _not_, we can still fight this, stop Sovereign here and now."

Saren almost seemed to freeze to the spot...then turned his head to glance back at Sovereign as its eyes glowed bright...and when he looked back at him Michael found an unnatural shiver run down his spine. Saren...didn't seem to be there. "We cannot stop the cycle...moments from now the Citadel will activate...and we will _die_."

And in the background...one of of Sovereign's arms rose...

Michael felt his stomach roll into a knot, yet pressed on: "Saren! _Please_! There's a _fleet_ just outside the Citadel! We can open the arms and they'll _destroy_ Sovereign!"

Saren's left arm rose...palm up as the Turian looked at the strange black item in his hand. Small white runes glowed along its edges...and Michael found his eyes widen as he realised it resembled the Citadel, a Citadel with its arms closed...

Saren's eyes widened as well as he stared at the thing, but more in _wonder_ than horror, his voice a pained whisper. "It cannot be done...we _cannot_ win..."

"Give it to me." Michael released his left hand's grip on his rifle to reach out, holding his hand out as he caught Saren's eyes, looking into those distant eyes: "I'll open it!"

All that answered him was silence as Saren stared back, eyes so...dim.

And behind the window...Sovereign's raised arm pointed down at Michael, the tip starting to glow red with power...

_Dammit_... Michael swallowed. _Can't beat Saren that quickly, I have to_..._dammit_! "Come on Saren! There's _still_ hope!"

"Hope...?" Saren repeated, the distant look fading as he straightened, a mad glint in his eyes. "Foolish human...there _is_ no hope!" Saren stretched his arms out wide, head tilting back...and laughed.

Mad, dry and dead...laughter...echoing across the hall as Sovereign's weapon powered up to stop its one remaining foe before its victory.

It was horrifying.

_His shield and armour are too tough to beat quickly_..._even with shotgun and close range I'm not sure_..._I have no weapon to beat him with fast enough_! Michael felt cold sweat run down his spine as he stared at Saren, his rifle falling from limp fingers. _I have no useful_...

He glanced up, staring into the ruby red of Sovereign's power...

..._weapon_?

A moment of indecisiveness...and then Michael's eyes narrowed at the Reaper.

Nearly falling forward he broke into a run, rushing forward as Sovereign's massive arm tracked him...and straight into Saren.

Coming in at breakneck speed Michael's hands gripped at the Turian's waist, lifting his foe upwards even as the force of the tackle sent them both flying towards the Council's podium.

Saren's laughter turned into a growl...and was then overcome by the sound of breaking glass and a hiss...

_Pain_!

It lanced through Michael's body as he felt something flash over his head, a heat so _intense_...he had no word for it.

Then it was gone...and he found his hands slamming into the edge of the podium, both gripping at it for purchase as he found himself hanging of the edge, the glass ceiling to the garden below shattering as something crashed through it.

A grunt...and he managed to pull his right arm upwards, finding the base of the Asari councillor's console to grip onto as he began to pull himself upwards...

A few feet ahead he saw the black miniature Citadel laying on its side...and to its left Saren lay on his stomach...all below his waist nothing but charred flesh still sizzling from the heat that had burnt through him.

"There is..." Michael grunted the words as he pulled himself onto the podium, crawling towards the black item, gripping onto it with tired hands.

"..._always_..." A gasp...and he held it steady with his right hand as his left moved to pry the arms of the miniature open...and ahead...the Citadel began to open.

"...hope." Michael finished with a grunt, the miniature in his hands now fully opened, the arms of the Citadel close to doing the same, showing a full scale battle in the distance, a battle...and several large shapes moving towards them.

A tired smile stole its way to Michael's lips...as he turned his head to give Saren one last look.

Only to find the Turian alive.

Saren's arms were trembling as they pushed his face off the ground, face stricken with disbelief as he stared out at the scene before them...the dark blue glow in his eyes fading even as he blinked, something akin to a smile appearing on his face as a lone tear escaped his left eye...

A small gasp of relief...and Saren fell back onto the floor, dead.

_Rest in peace_...

It felt wrong to think it...but Michael couldn't bring himself to be petty.

..._Spectre_.

His shoulders slumped, weariness tugging at him as he looked back...only to find his eyes widen under the powerful glow of Sovereign's gaze.

It wasn't a sound, but a _thought_, a dark and brooding sound inside his skull, a _familiar_ voice.

"**Shepard**..."

8

8

8

_Thank to Abydos Jackson for her amazing ability to stand me._


	65. Chapter 65

Michael lurched to his feet.

Before him Sovereign, grasping onto the Citadel tower, glared down at him, making him feel...insignificant.

_Whether I am or not_..._I_ _chose_ _this_.

Michael found his voice: "Sovereign..."

Ahead Sovereign's eyes blazed, hatred boring down at Michael, making him take a step back with the sudden pain in his skull, gritting his teeth as his eyes screwed shut.

"T-trying to indoctrinate me...?" He straightened, forcing his eyes open, to look at Sovereign. "Too late, you have lost."

It wasn't a laugh echoing in Michael's head, just a...scornful amusement: "**Your resistance is futile, your galaxy will fall**."

Michael took a step forward, narrowing his eyes at his foe: "No, _you_ will fall." Behind Sovereign he could _see_ them...the Alliance fleet coming in at full thrust...and felt his lips break into a smile.

"**The cycle **_**cannot**_** be broken, we **_**will**_** come for you**."

Truth...horrifying...naked..._truth_.

Michael shuddered, feeling an unnatural terror rush from his spine...only for him to push it aside with a growl: "We'll be waiting...and _you_ will break."

"**Arrogant insect, you cannot win**." Sovereign's voice _bore_ into Michael's skull, so full of _conviction_, power and...

Michael smiled past the pain in his head. "_Who_ is the arrogant one? You have _moments_ left to live, make peace with yourself, _Reaper_."

He turned to leave...

"**Shepard**...!" Michael stumbled mid-step, the voice in his skull, echoing within him, tearing at his insides, something..._burning_.

He gasped, hands moving to his chest, yet finding no injury even as agony burnt from within it and out through his body. _What_ _is_...?

"**You are **_**marked**_**, Shepard**." Sovereign boomed...and Michael felt it in his blood...a searing pain...a..._warping_. "**You **_**will**_** die**." It _burnt_ him, driving him to his knees even as Sovereign loomed up behind him like a giant shadow. "**Your galaxy **_**will**_** burn**."

He gasped, dropping forward, only to catch himself with his right hand, his left moving to his throat as the burning shot through it, choking all air out of him as his body shook with shock.

_What is it_...?

"**And you will have **_**failed**_." The words drove into him like a spike...driving what little breath was left out of him, making him tumble onto his left side, knees pulling up to his chest as his eyes rolled back in his skull.

Truth, naked, horrifying _truth_...it burned into him, tore at his insides...made him twitch and squirm where he lay, like the insect he was, pinned by Sovereign's words.

_Sovereign's words_...

_Sovereign's truth_...

Michael blinked.

_Sovereign's__ truth_...

The pain faded, the twitching stopped...and Michael struggled onto his left knee as he looked back up at Sovereign, hands curling into fists as he glared up at the arrogant machine.

"The _Reapers_ will fail." It was but a croak escaping his throat...but it lent him strength...and Michael got to his feet, taking a slow step forward. "The Reapers will _die_."

There was a growl of anger in his skull, _Sovereign's_ anger...and it drew a small smile from Michael as he felt new energy flood his battered body. He took another step forward, spotting the black little artefact Saren had used..._Sovereign's_ artefact...and moved towards it.

Ahead Sovereign followed his every step...and through all the arrogance...all the hatred and scorn...Michael felt the tiniest amount of..._fear_.

His smile turned into a smirk as he came to a halt. "I might die."

His right foot rose up above the black artefact. "I might fail."

His foot came down...and the artefact broke underneath his boot. "But not today."

His smirk turned into a _grin_ even as he _felt_ Sovereign waver. "Today _you_ die."

A _roar_...loud and full of rage as it tore into his skull...making Michael sway where he stood...and Sovereign raised one massive arm upwards...

There was no ruddy glow of charging power, no firing blast of energy...only a great black claw...descending upon Michael.

_Oh_...

For a moment Michael just stood there, staring at the great talon coming down at him...then he ran.

He leapt from the podium, and felt rather then heard it shatter under the great impact...as he himself came down upon the small bridge beyond, rolling to a stop on the round platform at the end. Once he had knelt there in ceremony...now he he did it to stop himself from tumbling on as he turned to look up at Sovereign...

Only to find another claw descending upon him as the first one tore itself free from a podium that was now covered in shards of glass...and that been cleaved into two.

Michael kicked off from where he knelt, arms swinging backwards as he flipped backwards...hands catching him on the bridge even as it bent with the great claw tearing the tip off as it continued down into the garden below...and then he landed on his feet.

Above him the ceiling broke apart, the first claw coming back down towards him...and Michael leaped backwards, landing heavily on the steps of the stairs as the claw tore into the ground he had stood upon. He moved to get up...only for something heavy to strike him in the shoulder and send him tumbling down the stairs as all around him there were the crashes of the broken ceiling falling upon the floor.

Another roar of rage...and Michael forced his head to turn as he looked up from his prone position at Sovereign.

An orange explosion of something striking the hull of it blossomed from the Reaper...even as it ignored it and sent yet another claw forwards. The black talon scythed through the wall to Michael's right, coming down at him in a haze of dust and falling debris...

He leapt back once more, finding himself in the small garden even as one of the boulders there was shorn in two by the claw, the remains of it painfully bouncing off an armoured leg before Michael could roll away...

Ahead another two explosions blossomed from Sovereign's hull, tiny dots of orange compared to the great hull of the Reaper...as one of its claws swept to the side, a ruddy blast of energy released from its tip, tearing apart something out of Michael's sight.

_Come_ _on_..._come_ _on_...

Then the ceiling gave way, _all_ of it...and Michael found something akin to a shout and a scream escape him as he leapt underneath one of the tilted boulders of the garden, _just_ dodging a descending claw as all around him great pieces of the ceiling crashed down on the floor, covering all in dust and debris...

_Pain_!

Gasping Michael's hands moved down to the great pressure against his stomach...only to find himself pushing at the boulder he had hid beneath, its great weight amplified by a sizeable part of the ceiling lying atop it...all pressing down on his stomach.

It _hurt_...

And kept him _pinned_.

Still pressing his hands against the immovable weight Michael's head craned up, looking back at Sovereign...as it with a third roar of anger raised its claw, the black talon glittering in the light of the explosions blossoming from Sovereign's hull...glittering at it descended upon him.

_Tali_... Michael closed his eyes, disappointment welling up within him. _I'm_ _sorry_...

Only for him to open them once more as Sovereign roared within his skull for the fourth time.

_Not_ with anger...but with _agony_.

Ahead the talon bent...and came off at the outermost joint, a darting shape of the Normandy zipping past the broken limb of Sovereign as it twitched. Sovereign's grip on the Citadel tower slackened as its other claws moved outwards, one of them firing a ruddy blast, the shot tearing straight through an approaching cruiser as if its armour was nothing.

The cruiser exploded, the large blast making Sovereign's armoured hull shine brightly...only for it do darken as more explosions tore into it, bending and cracking the hull of the great Reaper as it twitched and flailed under the concentrated bombardment.

Michael bared his teeth in a snarl at the sight.

_See you in hell_.

A second roar of agony...and one of Sovereign's middle-most claws came off right where it connected to the body...the limb spinning away as the Reaper shuddered...another claw firing a blast that struck nothing but space...

And then Michael saw it.

A whole _flood_ of frigates, every single one in the Fifth fleet...the distinctly black Normandy at the head, coming _right_ at the spinning Sovereign...

It didn't look like a volley of torpedoes, it rather looked like one great _blast_ of white light...as the frigates fired as one...straight into the belly of the beast.

A third cry of agony...and Michael saw the frigates break away even as a concentrated and successive row of explosions tore into Sovereign, the torpedoes finally tearing a great hole straight _through_ the body of the Reaper...

"**Shepard**...**we**...**will**..."

The powerful voice struggled...then _faded_...as ahead Sovereign twisted with the great impact...a motion the torn hull no longer could _endure_...

It came apart, the great Reaper...breaking in two.

Michael stopped struggling underneath the great weight, hands dropping back to his sides, _resting_ as he with a smile watched Sovereign's death.

The two pieces were still spinning in space, secondary explosions tearing through them even as pieces of its insides spilled forth like that of a gutted animal...

Then the rear part of it exploded, a great bloom of dark blue light mixing with the orange...and sending the other part flying, the front of Sovereign's torn body spinning round, great parts coming off...as it descended upon Michael.

He blinked, then stared...as he saw his doom loom closer. _Now, that's just not fair_...

Then he closed his eyes, smirking. _When was life ever fair_?

The smirk turned into a little smile, him feeling...relaxed. _This is it_...

_Acceptable_.

8

8

8

_Thank you to Abydos Jackson for her dedication._


	66. Epilogue

The party was a message of contrast.

The part of the Presidium that had been cleared of rubble was a great shining floor adorned with dazzling lights hanging overhead, hanging lines of embroidered tapestries creating a thin wall around the spacious area, concealing the destruction the crashed Reaper had caused. Everywhere across the floor people of all manner of races in fancy suits, uniforms and dresses walked around, talked or danced, ably served by a small army of Asari servants supplied from the Consort herself.

Yet for all the important guests there, for all the flashing cameras and expensive food...the destruction around could not be ignored.

Lights had not yet been restored to the Presidium, making the cleared party ground a lone island of warm light in an oppressive darkness. And in that darkness parts of Sovereign and the ruined surroundings stuck up from the ground like gnarled trees, making for oppressive shapes just at the outskirts of one's vision...a grim testament of _what_ they were celebrating.

It had actually been ambassador – now advisor – Udina's idea. While the man wasn't exactly _thrilled_ about Michael's insistence about the continued threat of the Reapers – no politician was it appeared, even the saved _Council_ was hesitant to outright agree with Michael's statements in front of a camera – or happy of losing the chance to be in the council, he knew his way to power lay within Michael and _councillor_ Anderson, even if it meant playing along with their claims of a looming threat beyond the galaxy.

Michael smirked.

The human embassy had survived the destruction unscathed...and standing on its balcony with his hands behind his back Michael looked over the festivities with a calm he hadn't felt since..._ever_.

He wasn't in too bad a shape, underneath his dress-uniform there was a thin bandage for his cracked ribs, and he didn't even want to _think_ about how covered in bruises he was...but his armour had taken the brunt of all damage...and that was all that mattered.

For one short moment he had thought he'd die underneath the incoming bulk of Sovereign's corpse...and the acceptance of it...had been good for him, _liberated_ him. Still, it had been good to survive, to live on...free of..._everything_ that had weighed him down.

He knew he could choose to do anything. He could quit the Alliance, start a firm, he could go into politics, leave with one of his comrades to help them...

He wouldn't do _any_ of that of course, he would, in the end, choose to do his duty...still...it was nice to finally realise that was his _choice_.

His choice to continue to fight the Reapers, to find a way to beat them when they came...a daunting duty, but one knew he couldn't choose to forsake.

Funnily enough the death of Saren had made that task even more difficult, the former Spectre had been the one closest to Sovereign...and without him there weren't many leads. Michael would have to go out to search for more Prothean relics perhaps...and fighting the Geth in the hope of stumbling into some stored information he could use.

It was a task the Council had _gladly_ supported. For all their gratefulness of Michael's rescue and victory at the Citadel he was a problematic and _volatile_ factor in their politics, politics largely aimed at keeping _stability_...

Not that they could outright protest his claims of a larger threat and such, not if they wanted to keep their seats in the Council, that with so many of their electors and financial backers owing their lives to Michael. No, with him they had to be careful...and gladly support him in any forays keeping him away from the Citadel..._and_ the reporters.

Which suited him _fine_, he still didn't like reporters, and he couldn't well rest on his laurels, the memory of the public was fleeting after all...and unless Michael found future evidence to back his claims they would slowly be droned out by politics about taxes and healthcare. Of all the things more immediate to short memory of the public.

Michael's smirk turned into a smile.

It was strange...but ever since Elysium he had thought himself as a political tool for the Alliance and the like...it was strange to now realise he had _chosen_ to be one...and that he now instead had chosen to be something _else_.

To wield the political power he held _himself_...to act as _he_ saw fit.

Sure, many power-hungry Alliance politicians disliked his new-found initiative of using his hero-status to further his own goals...however unselfish they were. Yet if they chose to resist his politics, and if the Council did so as it seemed it would...if ever so carefully...then that was _their_ choice...and he would measure his ability against theirs and _win_.

_At least I don't lack for confidence_... Michael snorted at himself as he looked down.

Below, Anderson had placed himself between the doorway leading up to the human embassy and the flood of inquisitive reporters that never seemed to run out of questions for the hero of the Citadel...

The new councillor held them at bay though, making Michael nod in gratitude even as he smirked at the visible exasperation in Anderson's face as he answered question after question. The new position clearly didn't sit all that well on the former Captain's shoulders...but when it came down to it Michael could think of no one else to recommend...and knew that the man would be a perfect ally when it came to keeping the fight against the Reapers up on the agenda.

_Plus it'll be fun to see him argue with the Turian_... Michael chuckled.

"You're free to go down there if we're too boring you know." Michael's chuckle turned into a warm smile at the voice of his pilot as he turned to face the others.

A white table had been dragged to the centre of the room, four bottles of fancy alcohol no one really paid much attention to stood on it along with largely filled glasses before each of his seated friends, their chairs equally white and pristine...a far cry from the dull grey in the Normandy, a sign of the changes they had wrought, of what they had achieved.

Michael leant his back against the bannister of the balcony, smirking as he shot Joker a wink. "Nah, I suppose you've earned a moment of my valuable time." A small chuckle around the room...and Michael reached back, finding his own glass atop the bannister as he smiled: "Though I suppose it's time for a toast..."

The chuckle died out...as understanding took hold. Or perhaps not understanding...so much as acceptance.

Their time was out.

For what felt like ages they had struggled and fought together, the Normandy had been their home, the battlefield their work, their comradeship, their family.

But now Sovereign was gone, Saren too, the Geth in retreat...and _reality_ came trundling in, old ties and obligations pulling at them, pulling them _apart_...

Michael couldn't fault any of them for their choices to heed the calls they had ignored for so long...in fact he would disapproved if they _had_...but it still left him..._sad_. Some would remain, it was true, those that left would send messages, but it would not be the same...

A sigh...and Michael raised his glass as he turned back to look at Joker, the man being the leftmost of those gathered with him. "To Joker, the best damn pilot in the Alliance."

The pilot smirked, raising a finger even as his other hand moved down to his glass: "Correction; in the galaxy."

It amused Michael that the pilot was once more trying to drink from the glass, he clearly didn't like it, but he _liked_ luxury...

"And not at all shy about it." Chakwas harrumphed, drawing a small chuckle from the gathered.

Michael's chuckle died out first, his gaze shifting to the doctor next to the pilot, smiling at the way the elder woman held a hand on Joker's armrest, ready to support him even now. "To Chakwas, how many times have you saved our lives during this campaign?"

"Too many if you ask me." Garrus chuckled, the chuckling being echoed by the others...save Wrex who simply snorted.

"Wrex..." Michael raised his glass to the Krogan, the heavy bulk of the mercenary pressing down on the struggling chair. "...showing that the Krogan are yet not a spent force...good luck on Tuchanka, though I know you'll make your own luck."

He smiled at the Krogan, there had already been some trouble with the Council and a few random Turians when it had become known that Wrex intended to once more try and unite the Krogan, to rebuild what had been destroyed...but a companion of the great hero couldn't well be stopped or harassed.

Wrex smiled back, offering a single nod.

Michael smiled back.

"To Liara." Michael's gaze moved to the Asari, the only one who seemed to be enjoying her drink, her glass half-empty as she lounged in her chair, relaxed now that the battle was over. "The first Asari to join the Alliance."

Technically she wasn't made Alliance, with Michael a Spectre she was under his command...yet had been given a rank – even if it only existed aboard the Normandy – and pay from Alliance...in his book that made her Alliance.

All Michael was happy about was that she would stay with him in his hunt of the Geth, the idea of her not being around...he actually felt a bit of panic at the thought. They had discussed it, it probably had something to do with their melding with the addition of the Prothean visions...

In the end it didn't matter, what mattered was that _one_ in the team would remain.

"To Garrus." Michael's moved his glass and smile to the Turian. "I wish you luck in training to become a Spectre." Michael wasn't sure the training was necessary...nor Garrus, but Turian traditions were traditions...and Michael supposed it would serve well to smoothen the edges of his friend... "Just remember to enjoy what you're fighting for."

"Look who's talking." Garrus retorted with a grin, drawing laughter all around.

Michael only managed a muted chuckle though, his mood...soothing as he turned to look at the last one with them.

Tali looked so...small in the chair, certainly smaller then anyone else in the room, but Michael knew differently, he knew her for what she was. "I..." His voice was suddenly a bit choked.

Of them all Michael would miss Tali the most. He wanted to...he wasn't sure _what_ he wanted, for her to stay, to...let something kindle? It was impossible though, reality was a harsh thing...and both of them embraced duty before themselves. Tali her obligations to the Flotilla and the Quarian people...she was long overdue with her data...and Michael with his duty to the Alliance and as the driving force against the Reapers.

_Perhaps if things had been different_..._no_..._no use thinking of it any longer_..._our choices have been made_...

"To Tali..." Michael remembered himself, raising the glass further as he held her gaze, silver eyes meeting his.

They would write, Michael had made sure to remind a somewhat pensive Tali of that over and over again...but to be honest he wasn't looking forward to be separated either...but what made them so similar, what made them feel..._for_ one another...was also what would keep them apart.

Michael swallowed. "...all you've done for me-_us_..."

There were smiles around as the others caught his hiccup...but none interrupted...even as Tali shyly turned her gaze to her feet, a slight darkening underneath her visor betraying her blush. A hand drifted towards the small computer in the chain around her long neck, thin finger brushing their connection...and Michael felt his own burn in his pocket.

"...I cannot put into words."

Silence.

The moment dragging out as Tali cocked her head, shooting him a shy look as he smiled...

Then Joker's voice, shattering the moment: "Right, enough with this sappy stuff, lets drink! The night's young!"

There were a few laughs around, Chakwas berating the man, Wrex shaking his head with a grin on his face.

"Yeah..." Michael replied softly, keeping his gaze firmly on Tali as the Quarian looked up at him, the sound of music in the background, reminding him of the nearby dance-floor, making him smile. "...the night's young."

And he knew she was smiling back.

_The end_.

8

8

8

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson to her endless patience and dedication to every chapter, truly she has raised the quality of the entire story with her work._


End file.
